Blight Manor had once very much lived up to its name. Eda had only been there on a handful of occasions, one of which had brought her the very satisfying memory of having the Blight parents led out of the house in handcuffs, but each time, she could almost sense the suffocating darkness emanating from the house. How all of the Blight kids had managed to grow up in such a place and not gone insane or become just as bad as their parents was beyond her. The décor was formal, the furniture expensive, and the place devoid of anything that showed the slightest amount of personality.

So it was something of a surprise for Eda to find that when she returned there next after the Blight parents' arrest, it was completely different. The walls were dizzying shades of all colors of the rainbow, seemingly randomly placed. The furniture, previously as uncomfortable looking as they were expensive, was now all absurdly comfortable, if stunningly ugly looking. The place had been designed to not have a design, to be as rebellious as possible. Eda approved.

Forget sophisticated magical security systems. The moment Odalia stepped inside the new Blight Manor, she'd drop dead of a heart attack right then and there.

Since the Cat incident, Luz had been spending a lot of her time in Blight Manor. Almost all of it, really. Ostensibly, Eda had gone to Blight Manor to give her some art supplies that she had left in the Owl House, but in truth, Eda missed her daughter. She missed seeing her perky expression first thing in the morning. She missed seeing her in the evenings, so happy and full of life.

And she certainly missed that troublemaking nature of hers, which is why it wasn't nearly as alarming as it should have been when Luz's first reaction to seeing Eda was to let out a loud eep and slam the door in her face.

"Luz, if you don't open this door this instant, I'm going to knock it down!" Eda threatened. She wasn't actually going to do that. She was just curious how Luz would react.

"HIDE IT!" Luz shouted to someone in the house. "She can't see it!" Well, that didn't sound good. Eda wondered what exactly was going on, and if it was worth her time and/or sanity to find out. Privacy was important for teenagers. On the other hand, Luz did get into a lot of trouble, sometimes even very deadly trouble. Ah, the hell with it. She'd play it by ear.

Luz had gotten very good at coming up with an innocent looking smile. Eda almost believed in it when Luz reopened the door with it gracing her face. Almost. "Sorry about that, mom! I…left something burning on the stove?"

Eda sighed. "Kid, I thought I taught you to lie better than that. Something burning on the stove? Seriously? I'm ashamed of how bad that was."

She strode straight into the living room, ignoring Luz's feeble protestations that she'd been telling the truth. Seriously, did no one teach the kid that the worst thing you can do with a flimsy lie is double down on it? "Okay, kid. You want to keep a secret from me? Fine. You can do that. Just promise me that it won't end up hurting you. Or anyone else, but mostly you."

"No, of course not!" Luz said instantly. "Not that I'm hiding a secret."

This was just getting insulting now, Eda thought, as she plopped down on one of the beanbag chairs that the Blight twins seemed to prefer in lieu of couches. Luz sat down on the one next to her. Well, if Luz was going to be that way, there had to be some consequences. And then a brilliant idea came to Eda's mind.

"So…apropos of nothing, totally not having to do with this secret that you're definitely not hiding, has your mom told you about the hippogriffs and the fire wasps?"

Luz looked frightened. "Fire wasps?! That sounds really painful!"

"Not if you're doing it right, if you know what I mean," Eda said, and let out a maniacal laugh. She looked over at Luz, expecting her face to be as red as blood. Instead, she was just looking at her quizzically. Okay, so maybe Eda was going to have to be more direct for the embarrassment-based punishment to work. "I mean, did your mom talk to you about sex?"

Luz let out a frightened yelp and then nodded so much that Eda was a little worried that her head might fall off. "Yes! Yes, she did! And I got the witch version of the talk from Emira! In horrifying detail too! I mean…AHH!"

Eda laughed uproariously. "You sure you got everything? My ex-husband has a book on this sort of thing. It's got pictures!"

"If I tell you, more or less, what I'm hiding, will you stop?" Luz bargained.

Well, Eda had been planning on stringing Luz around for much longer, but she knew how to grasp on a golden opportunity when she saw one, so she nodded.

"Amity and Willow are helping me make a present for Mami," Luz said. Eda couldn't help but give her a genuinely proud smile. Even after an incident that would rattle anyone's cage, Luz was still thinking of others. "I mean, she's the absolute best mother ever." Her eyes widened. "I meant…"

Eda swatted her playfully on the arm. "Relax, kiddo, I know what you mean. Go on."

"Okay, so she's done so many great things for me, like letting me study magic, and I thought I could do something really nice with magic for her! But it's kind of…difficult. It's taking more time than I thought."

"Well, maybe I can help," Eda offered. "I am, after all, the most powerful witch on the Boiling Isles."

Luz shook her head. "Nope! It has to be a total surprise, and once you've gotten a few glasses of apple blood in you, you can't keep a secret to save your life. It's not dangerous, though! I mean, aside from the ever so slight risk of brain damage, and, you know, I really should stop talking now."

Eda felt like a mother should be wanting her daughter to not do things that carry even an ever so slight risk of brain damage, but at the same time, it's not like it's anywhere close to the most dangerous thing Luz had done. Or the most dangerous thing Eda had told Luz to do. Besides, if Willow was involved in the project, then it would probably turn out all right. The plant witch had a damn good head on her shoulders.

"Okay, Luz," Eda said eventually, perhaps after making her wait a few more seconds than she probably should have. "I'll trust you on this. But I want to be there when you give it to her!"

"You can count on it," Luz promised. "So…what's going on between you and Mami? You can't lie to me! I know there's chemistry there!"

Eda blinked. "You don't have a problem with that? Cause some humans do."

"Well, some humans have a problem with us liking girls and guys, but they're assholes, so I'm ignoring what they have to say," Luz said. That was a sensible approach, in Eda's opinion. "Besides, do you know how many poly ship fics I've read? So both you and Raine have a thing for her? Are you going to ask her out?" She said the last sentence in a drawn-out, sing-song tone.

"Already done," Eda said. Wait, what? No, she didn't! Where the hell was this coming from? Why were these words coming out of her mouth? "Raine and I, we're going to a big party on the night of the solar eclipse, and we asked her to be our date."

Oh. Right. That was why the words were coming out of her mouth. They needed some excuse to explain their whereabouts on that day. Besides, hopefully, they'd really be dating by that point. But Eda didn't want to push things just yet. "It's a fundraising event," she lied. "Really boring." Well, sort of lied. Funds were raised at that party. They just weren't going to be raised for her.

"Can I come?" Luz asked.

"I don't think that'd be a good idea, Luz," Eda said.

Luz put on a pouty face that she thought looked cute. The worst part was that she was right. "Why not?"

Why not indeed? Eda had to come up with a good reason, and fast. The last thing she needed was her daughter presenting herself as a target at the meeting. She couldn't tell her the true reason for their presence there, because she'd want to participate in the heist. Nor could she flat out forbid Luz from going, because she knew that Luz would just sneak in anyway, and that'd be even worse.

"It's just that I really want everyone to see me and Amity look awesome on the dance floor," Luz went on. "I want to make everyone jealous of the fact that I have the best girlfriend ever."

Hopefully, in time, Eda would be able to disprove that fact, because obviously Camila would be the best girlfriend ever, and there would be no doubt about it. For now, however, Luz had given her the perfect out. "It's because of Amity, actually. She used to get dragged to these events, and she was miserable at them. And a lot of the people there, unfortunately, are friends of her mother's." Which was true, now that Eda thought about it.

Luz looked confused. "Why are you going to a party like that?"

"Good question," Eda extemporized. "You know, if it were up to me, I wouldn't be going, but the OWL Party needs all the snails it can get its hands on if we're going to stop Boscha's mom from becoming prime minister." That part was definitely true. The Organized Witches for Liberation Party was being vastly outspent by Hart's Traditionalist Alliance. "Don't worry. Having Raine and Camila at my side will make things easier."

"Okay," Luz said. "Thanks for telling me."

"But good news!" Eda said. "You, Willow, Gus, and Amity are all going to have a sleepover at the Mystery Shack that night! I cleared it with Amity's sibs and Willow and Gus's dads."

"Ooh!" Luz shouted. "Our first human style sleepover! This is going to be so cool! I just…" She trailed off, looking troubled. Eda motioned for her to say what she was going to say. "I just hope that I don't have nightmares. I…I've been having them. About Cat. About what she was going to do to me…about what she could have made me do."

Eda immediately jumped over to Luz's beanbag and enfolded her daughter into her arms. "Hey, kiddo, it's okay. That was all kinds of messed up. I'd be having nightmares too."

"But I don't understand it!" Luz said. "I've been so upset over this, and I've faced so much worse! Why am I so upset over this? I've come close to dying more times than I can count! I've literally faced down my worst fear! Why am I getting so upset?"

"Luz, someone threatened to take away your free will," Eda said soberly. "To violate you in one of the worst ways I can think of. You have a right to be as upset as you like. And if continuing to stay here makes you feel comfortable, then by all means stay as long as you like. But I miss you. We all miss you at the Owl House."

Luz was silent for a long time. "I'm sorry, Eda. I think I need more time. A few more days, tops. I just…"

"You don't need to explain it to me," Eda said. "You're my daughter, Luz. I may not have given birth to you, but you're still my daughter, and I love you." She planted a kiss on Luz's forehead. Luz purred at the affection she was receiving. Huh. That must have been an affectation she had picked up from Amity, because Eda was pretty sure that humans didn't naturally do that.

When she was done, Luz very briefly looked Eda in the eyes. That was a sign that she was very serious, Eda knew. Luz found eye contact painful and only used it in times when extreme emphasis was needed. "I'd be feeling a lot better if Valefar was put behind bars."

So would Eda. But now she ran into another problem. What should she tell Luz about what she was planning to do about Valefar? Because she couldn't tell her that there was just no evidence to book him on and that she would have to let him walk. Not only would it upset Luz in the short term, but in the long term she wouldn't believe her and then maybe she'd start asking questions about the "fundraising event." That wouldn't do at all.

Then Eda remembered one of the movies that she'd seen with Camila and Raine, about a group of members of the United States' equivalent to the Law Enforcement Coven who took down a crime lord not terribly unlike Valefar. "We're looking into his finances," Eda lied. "We're trying to see if we can get him on tax evasion. I know, not very glamorous, but behind bars is behind bars."

Luz didn't look like she had any faith in that plan. Which was good, because it was a really dumb one. Thank goodness it wasn't Eda's real plan. "Hey, it was Lilith's idea, not mine," Eda continued to lie, "but it might not be a bad one. Don't tell her that, though. If it works, it'll be worth it. In the meantime, you can keep on working on your secret project. And if you do decide that you need my help, I'll be around."

"I love you, Eda," Luz said. There'd been a time when Eda had considered hearing that from anyone to be disgusting sentimentality. That time was thankfully now past.

"Love you too, my little owlet."

Before Raine had met the Nocedas, they had given very little thought to what humans were like. They'd heard the propaganda that Belos spewed out – that they were bloodthirsty and savage monsters who would eat their own grandmothers just to get ahead – but given that Belos lied about just about everything, they had no reason to assume that anything he was saying was even remotely true. On the very rare occasions when they dwelled on the subject, a part of them even believed that humans didn't exist, that they were just a boogeyman that Belos had concocted to hold onto power.

They certainly had not envisioned falling in love with one.

Well, perhaps Raine was not quite there yet, but they were certainly getting much closer. Every day, every hour, every minute that they spent in the company of Camila Noceda was one where their love for her grew. She was blindingly smart, extremely witty, and quick on her feet. More importantly, being empathetic was as easy as breathing for her.

If every human was as magnificent as Camila, then surely the Human Realm would be a paradise. Sadly, Camila informed them, this was not the case. While they certainly weren't the ravening beasts that Belos had betrayed them as, humans sadly had an uncanny ability to hate, fear, and destroy anything that they perceived as different. Raine's rejection of gender, for example, which hadn't caused any problems among their peers, could have brought them great amounts of scorn or even violence if they had done it on Earth.

But still, as Camila was quick to assure them, humanity had just as many virtues as it did vices, and as many good people as there were bad people, if not more. Camila had seen humans at their worst, screaming in her face when she was trying to save their lives, and she still had faith in them, so Raine did too.

Camila had decided that in order for Eda and Raine's human disguises to be convincing, she would have to teach them about what it was like in the human world. Privately, Raine did not see the logic in this. It was extraordinarily unlikely that anyone at the party would know enough about humans to disprove any discrepancies in their cover. But Camila seemed to so much joy in telling Raine and Eda about her homeworld, and Raine simply could not bring themself to take that away from her.

Of course, the lessons didn't just go one way. Much more important than the lessons on human culture were the lessons that Raine gave on how to blend in with the upper class. (Amity had offered to teach them, but Raine had declined, and ended up having to bribe her with a position as a stagehand at the upcoming Junior Bard Concert to keep her away.) A particularly bad faux pas could get them kicked out of the party before Eda would be able to steal the Chalice.

Today's lesson? Slow dancing. It was completely necessary for the mission, of course. The fact that Raine had been fantasizing what it would be like to slow dance with Camila for weeks had nothing to do with it. They were a professional, after all.

Okay, maybe it had a little bit to do with it. Or a lot. A lot is probably more likely.

"This strikes me as a very…romantic dance," Camila noted. Eda had bought her a dress for the party, as most of the clothes that Camila had brought to the isles were sturdy, hardy, and waterproof. Raine just gave her a gentle smile. Camila couldn't help but smile back.

"Well, the three of us will be going as a triad," Eda noted. She was sitting on the couch, watching the two of them dance with pure delight in her eyes. "This is the sort of thing that's expected. Hey, I've never been much of a dancing person either."

Camila disentangled herself from Raine's grasp, much to their disappointment. She looked confused. "Hang on a second here. What's a triad?"

"It's three people who are in a romantic relationship together," Raine explained quickly, as they could tell that Eda was about to say something sarcastic that would have made things much, much worse.

Camila's confusion only appeared to deepen with these words. "I don't understand. On Earth, usually only two people are involved in a relationship together. Almost always, really."

That explained a ton, now that Raine thought about it. In the Isles, the flirting that Eda and Raine had both done with her would have been taken by most people as a prelude to join a previously existing relationship. But on Earth, polyamory didn't appear to exist, or at least was regarded as a fringe philosophy. Camila must have been assuming that they were both independently trying to lure her into an affair. No wonder she had seemed to reluctant to reciprocate!

"In the Isles, it's quite common for three people to be in a polyamorous relationship. Not every person in the group always dates every other person, though. My mothers were both in a relationship with my father, but they were just good friends to one another. Such a relationship would only occur with the knowledge and consent of all involved."

Eda nodded. "Yeah, it's not the same thing as having an affair. That'd be done without the knowledge and consent of the other partner, and it's a really shitty thing to do, obviously."

Camila looked intrigued by the prospect of polyamory and maybe it was just wishful thinking, but was that hope that Raine saw in her eyes? "That's…very intriguing. I'll have to think about that."

"I hope you do," Raine whispered, not intending to be heard. By the looks of it, though, Camila did hear what they said…and it didn't seem to bother her either.

Camila just stood there, appearing to be lost in thought for a long while. Raine didn't bother getting her attention. If Camila wanted to think things through there, they didn't have a problem with that. Eda, of course, ended up being the one to break the silence. "So…you think you've got a handle on this slow dancing stuff?"

Camila's silence continued for a few seconds before she seemed to return to herself. "Ah. Yes, I do think so. In truth, this isn't my first time doing this dance, but it's been a while. I think the last time I slow danced was at my wedding, and that was over twenty years ago." A melancholy expression formed on her face.

Raine hadn't known that Camila had been married. Was she still married? "This husband of yours, is he Luz's father?"

"He was Luz's father, yes," Camila said, a touch of bitterness in her voice. "He's no longer with us, I'm afraid. No woman could ever have asked for a better husband, Raine. Eduardo loved me and Luz with all his heart, and the world is worse off without him."

She sat down in a chair. "I still remember the first time I met him. We were both sick of getting set up on blind dates by our families, so we decided to pretend to date so it wouldn't happen again. Well, in order to make the 'ruse' work, we had to get to know each other's likes and dislikes, and our pasts and what wanted for our future, and before you knew it, we were dating for real."

She took a deep breath and then plastered a nervous smile on her face. "So…while we're on the subject of dating, I was thinking that if we're going to impersonate a triad consisting of humans, I should teach you about human dating. For research purposes, of course. I…I could show you what human dating is like? If you're up to it?"

Again, the logic seemed iffy at face value, but Raine knew that the face value didn't have anything to do with what was actually happening. If they were reading the situation right, and they dearly hoped they were, then Camila wanted to date both of them, but her human norms were still strong enough that she needed an excuse to do so. There was an obvious correlation between the fake dating scheme she had concocted for Eduardo and the fake dating scheme that she was proposing now.

Or maybe Raine was just overanalyzing. But they didn't think so, and by the expression on Eda's face, neither did she.

Camila appeared to take their silence as reluctance, because she winced and said, "Never mind. It was a dumb idea, wasn't it?"

Raine reached out and squeezed Camila's hand, and then Eda did the same thing with her other, leaving both of them holding her hands. "It was a great idea, Camila. I'd be honored to have such a charming woman teach me human style dating."

"Yeah, it sounds like a lot of fun!" Eda said, not necessarily quite as charmingly as Raine had, but her unforced enthusiasm had its own unique brand of charm nonetheless. "I'm down for it! Let's go!"

Camila let out a light laugh. "Oh, no! I don't have the energy for it tonight. How about tomorrow night? Oh, and please don't tell Luz. I don't want her to get the wrong idea. Especially since I'm not sure what the right idea is." She said that last sentence in a very quiet whisper that probably would have been inaudible to humans, but witch hearing was superior. Even so, Raine barely caught it, and pretended as if they did not.

The next day seemed to take forever to go through. The clock seemed to be suspiciously slow, and every task that Raine had to accomplish for their job seemed to inane in comparison to what was coming up. They had a date with Camila Noceda. And, okay, she was still going with the pretense that they were just doing it to learn more about human culture, but Raine was 99% certain that she was truly interested in dating them. Of course, that didn't stop that 1% from haunting their thoughts quite often.

Raine wasn't sure what the norm was for dressing up for a date on Earth, so they put on their nicest dress shirt and a long skirt that went all the way down to their ankles and hoped for the best. By the appreciative look that Camila gave them when she saw them upon arriving at the Owl House's portal room that evening, it looked like they'd made the right choice.

Eda ended up wearing the same outfit that she'd worn to chaperone Luz and Amity's Grom. They'd only seen pictures of it in Amity's photo album of the event. She looked stunning as ever in it.

But it was Camila that truly knocked the look out of the park. She was wearing a purple sleeveless dress that went down to her knees, and she looked hauntingly beautiful in it. There was almost a radiance about her, as if she was bathed in a metaphorical light. How Eduardo had actually initially not wanted to date her for a second, Raine had no idea.

"DAMN, GIRL!" Eda shouted with her usual lack of subtlety. "You look smoking in that outfit. When Lily offered to take you shopping, I was kind of worried she'd pick something dull like, you know, most of her clothes, but I guess even an unfashionable clock is right a couple times a day."

Raine was a bit worried that Camila would react poorly to such a forward comment, but the exact opposite appeared to be true. She simply giggled, a blush appearing on her cheeks.

"Why, thank you!" Camila said. "Both of you look very pretty as well." She looked at the floor for a few moments. "I do hope that I'm going to do a good job here. If you want the honest truth, I haven't dated much since my husband died."

Well, that didn't make any sense at all to Raine. "Surely a beautiful woman such as yourself would have people throwing themselves at you."

Camila sighed. "I'm afraid not. Most of the people who wanted to date me ran the other way when they learned that I had a kid. They weren't interested in the responsibility of helping to raise Luz." She cast a smile at Eda. "At least I don't have to worry about that with you."

"And you never will," Eda vowed. "Even if this…um, research date doesn't work out, I'll still be happy to be Luz's other mother. Nothing will ever change that."

A tear formed in the corner of Camila's eyes. Raine pretended not to notice her wiping it away. "So tell us what the itinerary for the evening is," Raine said in an effort to change the subject.

"Yeah, I hear the Human Realm has a lot of really romantic spots. Paris. Vegas. Did I ever tell you how I met my ex-husband in Vegas? Oh, wait, no, that's a bad story to tell on a first date."

Camila tilted her head. "How would we get to those places? A teleportation spell?"

"Oh, we can readjust the portal to output anywhere on Earth now," Eda revealed casually. Raine was surprised to learn this, but by the looks of it, not halfway as surprised as Camila was.

Camila appeared to be thinking through the potential ramifications of this before shaking her head. "As tempting as the idea is, I think I'll stick to the original plan. We're going to keep things simple. We're going to have dinner in Gravity Falls, and then we're going to see a movie at a theatre there. We've seen movies before – a theatre uses human technology to project a movie on a very large screen."

"Sounds like my idea of a great evening!" Eda said, rubbing her hands in anticipation. "You've already got a better handle on this stuff than Stan did."

She strode towards the portal, but Camila grabbed her arm and held her back before she could step through it. "Hang on. Don't forget your human disguise."

"Eh, we don't need that in Gravity Falls," Eda said dismissively. "The humans there are completely chill about magic and monsters and all that stuff."

Camila blinked, but did not look anywhere close to budging. "Oh, no. This is a human-style date, so you're going to go as humans. Otherwise, we're on a real date and…" She laughed nervously. "I don't think I'm quite ready for that yet."

Raine certainly did not miss the implication that there would come a time when she would be. They activated the illusion and watched as Eda did the same. They wondered what would happen if Eda became the Harpy Beast in her human guise. Would she still have the round ears of a human then?

The first thing that Raine noticed upon their arrival in the Human Realm was the strong scent of smoke. And also the fact that a huge table in the cavernous room they'd arrived in was filled with flame. "DIPPER!" Eda's ex-brother-in-law yelled. "The table's on fire again!"

A short, scrawny man of about twenty ran into the room with a cylindrical red object, from which a foam emerged and covered the fire, extinguishing it. "Grunkle Ford, I can't believe you set the table on fire again. We talked about this."

"Hi!" Eda said with a wave. Both her former family members jumped. "Sorry to interrupt you. We're just passing through on our way to, you know, explore the Human Realm."

"You're from the Boiling Isles," the man named Dipper said, looking Raine and Eda up and down like he was trying to memorize what they looked like. "Fascinating. I was wondering if you'd maybe let us visit your dimension. It's rare to find one that's so…functional these days. Weirdmageddon really shook things up around the multiverse."

Raine had no idea exactly what this Weirdmageddon was, and they had a sneaking suspicion that they really, really would regret learning about it. The name didn't appear to be ringing any bells with Camila, who was just looking completely flummoxed. "Yeah, we'll talk about it," Eda said dismissively. "Later."

She grabbed both of them both the hand and practically dragged them out of the room, up the stairs, and into the museum that Stan ran. Not that Raine had much of a chance to see it – Camila dragged them out of the Mystery Shack within seconds. It was honestly quite impressive.

And then Raine was outside in the Human Realm for the first time.

They were an alternate dimension for the first time. The Boiling Isles may have been, by human standards, a land of enchantment and wonder, it wasn't every day that one was in another dimension. Eda had offered to take Raine to the Human Realm on multiple occasions, but the time never seemed right until now.

It was much more quiet and pleasant than they had anticipated. It almost seemed boring compared to the Boiling Isles. There were no creatures around that wanted them dead. Even the foliage looked completely benign.

Just as they were beginning to relax, Eda shouted "CRAP!" and created a shield spell around the three of them. Raine looked around them frantically for the source of the threat. They didn't appear to detect anything.

"Do you hear something?" Camila asked, looking panicky.

"Boiling Rain!" Eda shouted. "We've got to get inside, quickly!"

Camila did the last thing that Raine expected. She burst out laughing. Eda glared at Camila. She hated being made fun of. "Oh, Eda, I'm sorry! I know this isn't funny to you. But here, rain is just water! It's not dangerous in the slightest." She stepped out of the shield and put her hand out to the liquid falling from the sky. "See?"

"Oh. Right." Eda coughed. "Yeah, of course I knew that, cause I've been here before. Silly of me to forget."

Camila gave her a reassuring smile. "I imagine it is not easy to just let go of a habit that's no doubt saved your life time and time again. You don't have to worry about the rain. I'm pretty sure that Stan wouldn't mind if I borrowed his car."

"Or we could keep up the shield spell and walk," Eda suggested. "Look, I know it's not the human way, but I kind of wanted a nice walk with the three of us, and I sure don't want to get our nice clothes ruined."

It took several more minutes' worth of persuasion from both Eda and Raine (who loved nature and wanted to see Earth nature up close), and some adorable looks from Eda, but eventually they got Camila to agree to their plan. It ended up paying off. Camila may not have been a native of Gravity Falls, but she was reasonably familiar with the foliage of the region, which apparently wasn't different from her own hometown. As they trekked through the forest, she pointed out various plants and animals of the Human Realm, looking delighted to have the opportunity to show them off.

"I bet you can't tell me what that is," Eda challenged, pointing to a creature that looked like an extremely tiny old human with a large red hat and a beard. Camila goggled at it.

"It…kind of looks like a gnome…which isn't supposed to exist. But then again, neither are you. I guess you were right about Gravity Falls being really weird, weren't you?"

"Shmebulock," the creature said. They interrogated him for a while, but that word seemed to be the only thing it could say. Eventually, they let Shmebulock, if that was his real name, go about his business, and their journey led them to a small town.

Eda gestured grandly at the small town as if she was showing off the capital city of a large empire. "And here we are! Gravity Falls, Oregon, the weirdest town in the Human Realm. We can talk about Boiling Isles stuff here, no problem. Just don't bring King here. The last time I showed up with him, we got chased by an angry mob for eleven miles. Haven't the foggiest idea why. Anyway, this is your show, Cammy. Run it however you please."

Camila gave her a huge grin. She seemed to like the nickname Eda gave her a lot. "Well, we have dinner reservations scheduled at Homard Rouge, which apparently is the fanciest restaurant in Gravity Falls. Let me be clear, though, that under ordinary circumstances this is not anywhere close to being in my budget."

One could not use duplication spells on snails, but they worked perfectly well on the paper that humans used as money. Camila had expressed deep reservations about paying for her meal with magically generated money, but when she learned that it was indistinguishable from real money, at least in any way that humans could detect, she had reluctantly agreed to use it, just this once.

The restaurant didn't actually look all that different from some of the swankier places on the Boiling Isles. As much as Eda despised it, sometimes being prime minister meant you had to have dinner in fancy restaurants with horribly boring people, and she'd dragged Raine along to all of those events so she'd have someone who could stop her from stabbing someone with a fork. That was not hyperbole either; she actually had done that once. To be fair, it had been Odalia.

The menu, however, might as well have been written in Oldspeak for all Raine could understand it. "Would you mind ordering for us, Camila?" they asked her. "You're an expert on the cuisine here."

"Frankly, I'm not sure what half of this stuff is," Camila muttered. "What the heck is sauteed Gobblewonker? But I'll do my best."

She looked suddenly panicky, as if the full ramifications of what she was doing had just hit her. She started muttering under her breath, probably thinking they couldn't hear her. "I…I'm fine. Just…on a date with two people. Two witches. Okay, Camila, you can do this…"

"You know, we can hear you when you do that," Raine said gently. Camila let out a squeak. "It's the ears. The illusion doesn't change their nature. They're still just as sensitive as before. Camila, it's okay if you're not ready for this."

Eda gave Camila a surprisingly kind smile. "And it's okay if you're never ready for this, too. It's a lot to ask of someone."

It took a long time for Camila to say something. Raine couldn't help but cycle through all the worst case scenarios in their head. "No," Camila said eventually. "I do want this. It's going to take time, but it's also going to take practice. I'm uncomfortable now, yes, but doing this is the best way I can become more comfortable."

The waiter arrived to take their order, and Camila ordered the same dish for all of them. Raine was too busy looking into Camila's sensational brown eyes to really catch what it was. They trusted her. And if the food turned out to be toxic to witches, Raine had a healing potion in their purse ready to go.

"So what do humans talk about on these shindigs?" Eda asked.

Camila tilted her head. "Surely you know. Weren't you ever on a date with Stan?"

Eda burst out laughing. "Yeah, if you can call running from the cops and trying to outdo each other in cheating at cards a date. This is all kind of new to me too."

Camila nodded. "Well, the good news is that since we're already friends, we don't really have to change our conversation any. But, please, no heist talk tonight. I don't want to talk business. Or really deal with the reality that I'm running a heist now any more than I have to."

"What do you think of Hexside?" Raine asked her.

Camila appeared to look delighted at having a chance to brag about Luz's academic progress. "It's a relief to find a school that suits Luz so perfectly! She's so happy going there, and her teachers all have glowing reports of her behavior. Which is a nice change of pace, if I'm going to be honest. Luz used to get into trouble a lot at her school."

Raine had heard a lot about Luz's past from Eda, who was really indignant at the way the human educational system had tried its best to grind her down into a compliant, obedient drone, as she put it. "From what I understand, nothing that she got in trouble for actually hurt anyone."

"That incident with the snakes could have, though," Camila pointed out. "They were poisonous. But I do take your point in a general sense. It's possible that…I was a bit too harsh on Luz for just expressing her personality."

Eda reached out and squeezed Camila's hand. "You know, when I first heard that you sent her to a camp to suppress her creativity, I was livid. I hated your guts for that. But as time went on, I realized that it wasn't so black and white. I knew that Luz did need to be able to have a better handle on the consequences of her actions. But it needed to happen her way."

"And that's why you sent me the letters," Camila said, as if having some great revelation. "So you could give her time to do that."

Eda blinked, looking completely taken aback. "What? What letters? I never sent you any letters."

"I got letters from the camp," Camila said slowly. "I thought that you were responsible for that. You know…I really should look into that when I back to my house. If they sent the letters to cover up my daughter's disappearance, who knows what else they're hiding?"

Raine was hardly much of an expert on human style dating, but they figured that they all should be discussing things that were more fun than this. "So could you maybe tell us about this movie we're going to be watching?"

A wide smile formed on Camila's face. "Oh, you're going to love it. Apparently, they do a retro showing here every week, and this week, they're showing The Princess Bride."

Eda made a grimace. "Sounds boring."

"It sounds boring, but it isn't," Camila assured them. "It's got fencing, fighting, torture, revenge, giants, monsters, chases, escapes, true love, and miracles."

From there, the conversation seemed to flow completely naturally. Eda chattered on about the foreign lands that she'd had occasion to visit on state visits as prime minister, enthralling Camila with descriptions of lands that Raine was pretty sure were much less interesting than Eda was making them out to be. Raine talked about music and what it meant to them, how their love of art and passion for making people feel joy and happiness led them to the bard track. And Camila talked about her job at the hospital, how every day, she had a chance to save lives and make a huge difference in the lives of people she didn't even know.

Raine wasn't an expert, but in their inexpert opinion, the date was going extraordinarily well.

The food turned out to not be toxic, which was good news, but it also tasted absolutely horrible, which was bad news. Camila didn't seem to think that was the case, judging by the extremely contented sounds of enjoyment she got from eating the food, so it was probably just witches that felt that way. Eda and Raine did their level best to hide their lack of enjoyment with the food, and it must have worked, because Camila didn't appear to notice that anything was wrong.

The movie turned out to be just as much fun as Raine thought it would be. For one thing, seeing the movie on a huge screen that was as big as an entire very large room as opposed to the tiny screen of Camila's iPad made the experience so much more enjoyable. And for another thing, the movie was totally awesome. When Inigo Montoya finally avenged his father, Raine couldn't help but let out a triumphant cheer. They gasped in shock when Westley and the Dread Pirate Roberts were revealed to be one and the same. And they laughed uproariously when Inigo and Fezzik took Westley to be resurrected by Miracle Max.

But the best part? Camila held both Eda and Raine's hand throughout the entire movie. Even if it had been the worst movie that humans could ever invent, that would have made it all worth it.

When they got back to the Owl House, much later than they thought they were, Raine was practically bursting with happiness. They'd been on a date with Camila and Eda, and they hadn't done anything to embarrass themself the whole time. That was an impressive accomplishment, to say the least.

Camila gave a hug to both Raine and Eda, smiling broadly. "That was an amazing time. I can't remember the last time I had an evening that pleasant." Her expression started to look a bit more uncomfortable. "There's one last part of human style dating. It's traditional to give a good night kiss."

She winced, maybe afraid that she had asked too much, and then before she could say another word, Eda leaned in and kissed her, gently, passionately, sensuously, on the lips. Raine was worried that they'd feel some amount of jealousy in seeing it. They didn't. All they felt was…content.

And as Raine planted their own kiss on those warm, soft, beautiful lips, as they felt joy that only the greatest of bard songs could emulate, and maybe not even them, they realized that kissing Camila felt so familiar in a way.

They'd been right all along. Camila was their missing piece.

"¡¿POR QUÉ NO FUNCIONA ESTE MALDITO GLIFO?!" Camila screamed and slammed her hand against the stubbornly nonfunctional healing glyph. This was the seventh type of glyph she and Viney had tried to make work, and the seventh glyph that had failed to do so.

She looked up to find Viney with a very worried expression on her face. Clearly, she hadn't expected Camila to break down in such a manner. Nor should she have. Camila wasn't in the habit of losing her temper. But it had been so frustrating to realize that healing magic just wasn't working for her. Other types of magic worked fine. She'd cast an ice spell earlier that day and it had worked perfectly. Healing magic, though, was completely useless to her.

"Viney, I'm sorry," Camila said. "I shouldn't be taking my frustration out on you. I assure you, this is not how I normally approach matters."

"It's okay," Viney said, not sounding at all like she thought it was okay. And no wonder. She'd probably heard all sorts of horror stories about Mrs. Blight from Emira. The last thing that Camila wanted was to come across as any way similar to that piece of filth.

She stood up from the table. "I should go. I'm clearly making you uncomfortable."

Viney shoved her back in her seat. "The very fact that you care about me being uncomfortable is proof enough that I don't need to be. I have a theory about why you can't use this kind of magic. Would you like to hear it?"

Camila nodded. "We've learned a great deal about glyph magic since Luz first rediscovered it," Viney went on. "Belos had a private library that we recently discovered, full of books about wild magic." Camila was not surprised by this. Belos certainly wouldn't be the first tyrant to have not practiced what he preached. "We've discovered that glyph magic is tied to belief. You don't believe that this magic can work, so it doesn't."

That didn't seem to make any sense to Camila. "I don't think that I'd be sitting here with you if I didn't believe in magic. And all the other glyphs I've tried work well."

"It's not belief in magic, it's belief in healing magic," Viney clarified. "And it's not just on a conscious level that you need to believe in it, but also in a subconscious level. Let me ask you a question. Before you learned about magic, if I had come to you and told you that I could heal your patient by slapping a piece of paper on them, pressing a hand against it, and casting a spell, would you have believed me?"

"No," Camila said. "But that was then. I know that magic is real now. I want to learn healing magic."

"You've spent the last couple decades completely immersed in human healing ways. There's still some part of you that doesn't truly believe that such a method of healing is possible."

Camila didn't like the idea, but she had to admit that Viney probably had a point. There were still days when her brain stubbornly railed against the fantastical things that she was seeing every day now. Sometimes, she even worried that she was in a coma and hallucinating everything that had happened since Luz returned from summer camp. "So that's it? I can't use healing magic."

"Not necessarily," Viney said, trying to keep her voice bright. "As the humans say, believing is seeing. These glyphs work, just not for you. If you can see them in action, it may be enough to galvanize your subconscious into belief. But that won't happen for a while. They need to be tested more." She offered Camila a rare but genuine smile. "Camila, what you've done here is exceptionally important. Identifying these glyphs will help us save countless lives. You should be very proud of yourself."

Camila hadn't thought of it that way, but she was right. Humans, for whatever reason, had an innate ability to see the glyphs that were at the core of all magic, that helped power it. No one knew why, least of all Camila. Sadly, most of Luz's study of glyphs had been forced to be mostly centered around combat, so she hadn't yet had an opportunity to discover glyphs on the healing side of things.

"Thank you so much for your help, Viney," Camila said. "I guess there's nothing more that you can do for today's tutoring session. I really feel like I should be paying you for this. But on the other hand, my money's not exactly much good here…"

Viney shook her head. "Just having you here is enough. It makes Amity happy, and that makes Emira happy, and that makes me happy. She looks up to you so much, you know. Amity."

Camila did know that. In the absence of a mother worthy of the title, Amity seemed to have latched onto her more than a little bit. Camila didn't mind. The poor girl deserved so much more love than she had gotten.

After she bid Viney goodbye, Camila lay on one of the couches in the Owl House living room and thought back to the date she had had with Raine and Eda. Because, despite the pretense to the contrary, a date was precisely what it was. And she had enjoyed herself so much! She hadn't had so much fun on a date since Eduardo was alive.

Back on Earth, if Camila had gone on a date with two people in the same night, much less simultaneously, her reputation would have been utterly ruined if anyone found out. She'd have been called horrid names. She even could have lost her job for all she knew. But in the Isles, no one seemed to care. The more she talked to people, the more she realized that Raine was right; there were polyamorous relationships, even marriages, all over the place there.

If Camila wanted a relationship with Raine and Eda…and she did, she could no longer deny it…then all she had to do was say it.

And yet she couldn't. And she didn't know why.

The door to the Owl House creaked open and Camila was standing up with her gun in her hand pointed at the intruder before she could even think about it.

"Kindly point that gun away from my face," Lilith Clawthorne said, sounding completely cavalier, as if she had guns pointed at her every day.

Camila lowered the gun, but she didn't turn off the safety. Everyone else may have thought that Lilith was on the side of good now, but she could not forget the fact that this woman had thrown Luz off a bridge. The fact that Luz now called her aunt did not change that. "Is there something that I can do for you?"

"Not you, no," Lilith said. "Our agents raided the Globb residence this morning and we recovered this in a box underneath Cat's bed." She handed Camila a vial filled with a pink liquid. With a shudder, Camila realized that it was the love potion Cat was going to use on Luz. "We were hoping that Eda could analyze it, try to see if there are any…unusual qualities to it."

"I'll pass it along to her," Camila said, slowly. Even holding the wretched thing in her hand made her feel ill.

Lilith turned around. "I am sorry, you know. For what I did to Luz. For what I did to Eda. I've spent so much time trying to make up for it. There may not be enough time in the world to do it."

"I can't forgive you," Camila said. "Not yet."

Lilith sighed. She looked like she had expected that answer. "I understand. Tell Luz that I said hello." Camila waited until Lilith was outside the Owl House once more before she put the gun away. She didn't really believe that Lilith was a danger anymore. But she still felt like treating her like one, out of spite if nothing else.

As Camila waited for Raine and Eda to show up to their next lesson, she gazed at the vial, marveling at how such a small, innocent looking liquid could be used for such monstrous evil. It wasn't like it pulsated with malevolence or anything like that. In fact, if she didn't know any better, she'd have thought that it looked just like colored water.

"¡HOLA, SEÑORA NOCEDA!" the thrice-accursed voice of Hooty abruptly said, seeming to come out of nowhere. "¡Apuesto a que te estás preguntando cómo puedo hablar español! Hay una historia detrás de ella, una historia de deseo y amor prohibido. La lechuza de Duolingo y yo nos conocimos…"

Camila didn't bother listening to the rest of Hooty's ridiculous spiel, which didn't even make any sense anyway. She had much more important things on her mind.

When he had startled her, she had dropped the love potion on the floor. And it had splattered into the air. She had gotten some on her! She could feel it on her skin even now!

And then, to make matters worse, the door to the Owl House opened once more and then Raine and Eda walked in. And the instant Camila saw them, she felt something warm inside her body. It was a feeling of utter peace and contentment. It was the same thing she felt when she had looked at Eduardo and realized that she was in love with him.

She was in love with Eda and Raine now.

And it wasn't real.