Luz never really thought very highly of the fantasies of her peers. Owning a unicorn, becoming a princess, getting swept away by a handsome gentleman, all of that stuff seemed so…silly to her. And now she was a princess, had gotten swept away by a beautiful lady, and she was riding in a chariot pulled by a unicorn. Well, technically, it was a unicorn, though the legends appeared to have left out the whole fire-breathing part.

"You seem kind of quiet," Amity noted. "Do you not like the outfit?"

"Amity, you totally rock the otter look," Luz assured her, meaning every word. "I'm just still amazed sometimes that this is my life now."

Amity looked concerned. "Is Inner Luz telling you that this isn't real again?"

"No! That's not what I meant. I mean, amazed in a good way! I've got to be the luckiest girl in the whole wide world! Two whole wide worlds!"

"Well, I don't agree," Amity said. Luz blinked. "For starters," she went on, "I'm the luckiest girl in the multiverse, because I get to be your girlfriend. And this doesn't have anything to do with luck. I'm here because I love you. We made it to this moment through our skill and our cleverness and our sheer determination to just not give up."

Luz planted a kiss on Amity's cheek. "Eres una novia increíble."

"Y no lo olvides," Amity responded. "I know you're worried about Eda, but you don't have to be. She's loads more powerful than we were, and we did pretty good against Grom, didn't we?"

Luz blushed at the memory of the dance they had shared at the last Grom. It was the first time that Luz had really considered that her feelings for Amity could go beyond merely platonic, though she didn't do anything about them for quite some time, convinced that Amity could never possibly feel the same way about her.

Eventually, though, her crush had gotten to the point where she felt that she just had to ask out Amity, if only so she could just get rejected and move on. Her attempt to do so had been so embarrassing, but Amity had said yes anyway.

"You're thinking about the tunnel of love, aren't you?" Amity realized.

"Yes," Luz admitted. "I can't believe that I asked Hooty to do something that cheesy."

Amity sighed. "Luz, I told you how much I liked that."

"Yeah, but you're just saying that to make me feel better."

A wide smile formed on Amity's face. "Actually, I'm not…and I can prove it. Luz, would you give me permission to cast the Empathy Spell on you?"

The Empathy Spell was a revolutionary new bard spell that Amity had created. Raine had called it nothing short of a miracle, both in terms of its effects and that a novice like Amity could create it. The Empathy Spell allowed the caster to make another person experience an event that had occurred to them exactly as the caster had experienced it. In the wrong hands, it could be used as a horrible method of torture, especially since there was no limit to how many times it could be cast. It could be used to drive a witch insane, or manipulate their own emotions in unthinkable ways.

But Luz trusted Amity, and so she said yes.

Amity spoke a set of words that didn't remotely resemble any language Luz had ever heard, and then suddenly Luz was gone. Amity's memory was the only thing in Luz's head. She was Amity.

Amity was enjoying a perfectly lovely evening. Her parents were gone on a business trip (actually, secretly plotting to take over the Boiling Isles in a coup that thankfully failed, but she didn't learn that until later) and her siblings were up to shenanigans elsewhere. So she could relax on a couch, drinking tea and reading a romance novel about a witch stuck in the Human Realm. It was rather hilarious how many inaccuracies were in the book – for example, the author said that humans had a completely useless organ called an appendix, which sometimes exploded. That sounded like something Gus would have made up.

Her peaceful evening, however, was abruptly interrupted when Hooty burst through the window and swallowed her whole. Her indignity at being eaten was almost, but not quite, surpassed by her sheer bewilderment of the situation. After quite a few minutes of frantically trying to keep her eyes closed so she didn't see Hooty's inner anatomy, Amity was unceremoniously dumped in the basement of the Owl House.

Luz, dressed in a red dress that really accentuated her curves, came running down the staircase. "Oh my God, Amity, I'm so sorry! When I told Hooty to bring you here, I meant for him to ask you nicely to come here! Not to do…whatever he did to you!"

Amity cast a spell to clean herself up. Working with abominations was a messy business, so that had been one of the first spells that she had ever learned. "Well, next time, try to be more specific," she said testily. And then she noticed Luz looking sad, so she quickly backtracked and said, "Nope, it's totally Hooty's fault! I mean, who hears bring her to the Owl House and thinks, bring her to the Owl House in my stomach?"

Luz let out a giggle. Titan, that girl in general, and her laugh specifically, would be the death of her. "Okay, well…I have a surprise for you…um, I hope you like it. And, um, if you don't, that's okay too!"

Amity reached out and squeezed Luz's hand. Luz let out an eep, so Amity immediately withdrew her hand. The last thing she wanted to do was make Luz uncomfortable. "NO! Could you…maybe do that some more?" Luz said, her voice sounding unusually high pitched.

So Amity grabbed her hand again and Luz gave her a huge smile, and that was that. Amity could feel her heart beating a million miles an hour. She was about to die of sheer, unrelenting gayness. She could not think of a better death.

And that was the moment when the floor suddenly opened up, dropping them down a large pit. "I'm going to have to have words with Hooty when this is all done!" Luz shouted.

Interestingly enough, Amity was not dead upon impact with the ground. Closer examination revealed that this was because she had landed on a stack of heart shaped pillows. Lights turned on, revealing a tunnel filled with water. Hooty had somehow transmogrified himself into a swan shaped boat (swans, too, had once been inhabitants of the Boiling Isles, before they'd been exiled for reasons no one was now sure of). And the words Tunnel of Love were written on an arch in the distance.

Was Luz about to tell Amity that she liked her?! Try as Amity might to find another explanation, none appeared forthcoming. And it was so typical Luz – unique but also completely awesome. The heroine in her romance novel sure as hell was never serenaded in such a smooth manner.

But if Luz had built the tunnel with the intention of sweeping Amity off her feet, it was clear that she was starting to regret her actions deeply. "Why did I ever think this was a good idea?" she muttered.

Amity, on the other hand, was absolutely ecstatic about the whole thing. Before she'd met Luz, she had resigned herself to being forced into a miserable, loveless relationship with a man her parents would choose for her. Certainly, even if her hypothetical boyfriend had been actually nice while courting her, he never would have done something so cool, so expressive of actual personality, as the tunnel of love.

Sure, it was cheesy, but it was a good kind of cheesy. Cheese tasted delicious after all (even if it was poisonous to Luz), and the tunnel was an expression of the way Luz felt about her. Even the most expensive gifts paled in comparison to that.

Amity spotted a banner that read "I think you're smart, cool, and classy," and though she tried valiantly to suppress the tears of joy that went down her cheek, she failed. No one had ever offered her such praise before! Whatever meager praise her parents had offered had been solely done to manipulate her and often was a prelude to lectures or forcing her to do something she didn't want to do. Her siblings weren't really the praising type – actions, not words, were their specialty. And certainly her former so-called friends wouldn't have lowered themselves to do something as "weak" as complimenting her.

Luz didn't just feel that way about her, she was willing to tell Amity that she felt that way about her, with absolutely no strings attached. Sure, she was trying to persuade Amity to be her girlfriend, but it still wasn't an act of manipulation. Luz would feel that way about Amity even if she turned her down.

"Oh, God, Amity," Luz said, doubtlessly misinterpreting the emotions that had brought her to tears. "I'm so sorry. What have I done? I screwed everything up."

"No, you didn't, Luz," Amity said, trying to be as reassuring as possible. But she didn't look like she was coming anywhere close to persuading her. "I like this!"

"You're just saying that," Luz said. Amity could not get her to change her mind at all, even as the cheesiness in the ride intensified, with banners saying things like "bee mine" with the picture of a bee (actually a fire wasp, but it was the thought that counted) and an arrow shot at them by Hooty which then revealed a message bearing the words "Amity, URA-QT!"

When the ride came to an end, Luz looked like she was about to burst into tears. "I can't believe I did all that. You're so…amazing. You deserve better than my ridiculous attempts at flirting. Can't we just pretend this never happened? Stay friends?"

"But, Luz," Amity said, "I don't want us to be friends."

And Luz started sobbing then, great, gigantic sobs. Amity had never seen Luz so distraught before. She prayed that she would never see it again. So she did the one thing she'd been longing to do for longer than she'd even admitted to herself.

She kissed Luz right on the lips.

Amity had fantasized about what it would be like to kiss Luz, and while the fantasies weren't quite up to the reality, it didn't matter, because she was kissing Luz, and Luz was kissing her back, and no romance found in a book could ever describe that indescribable feeling of joy in her heart right there and then.

"I don't want us to be friends," Amity repeated, "because I want us to be girlfriends."

"YES!" Luz screamed. "Yes! That is what I want too! This is amazing! Oh, Amity, this is the best moment of my life! Kiss me some more!"

Far be it from Amity to deny her girlfriend what she so fervently desired.

Abruptly, without any warning whatsoever, Luz was deposited back in her own consciousness and left with a sense of wonder and awe. "You really liked the tunnel of love?" Sure, Amity had told her that several times, but Luz really did think, right up until that moment, that she was just lying to make her feel better.

"You can't lie with the Empathy Spell," Amity said. "I loved the tunnel of love, because it was an expression of your love, Luz. It was the nicest, coolest thing that anyone had ever done for me."

Luz looked out the window. "Back in the Human Realm," she said, "every time I tried to ask someone out, it was with a grand gesture like that. It never ended well, but I couldn't stop. It's just who I am, how I approach romance."

Amity kissed her on the lips. No matter how many times she'd done that – and the number was so many that Luz had lost count – it would never stop being as sensational as it was the first time she'd done it. "Those people were morons to pass up on someone as sensational as you. Now look alive – we're here."

And so they were. They got out of the chariot and walked hand in hand into Hexside. After the pressure that had been placed on them as the champions of the previous year's Grom, it was a huge relief to just be spectators this time. And, sure, Luz was kind of worried about Eda, but Amity was right. Eda was no pushover. She'd be able to handle it.

Luz made a beeline for Gus and Willow the moment she saw them. She just had to know who Willow's mysterious date was.

"Hi, Luz!" Willow said, giving her a wave. She looked nervous. She gestured at a creature that looked like a smaller, somewhat more humanoid version of the basilisk that had attacked Hexside on Luz's first day there. "This is my datemate Vee!"

"I've heard so much about you, Luz!" Vee said, and enfolded Luz into a slimy but surprisingly comfortable hug. "I really hope that we can be friends."

Luz gave xyr a big smile. "Sure we can! Any friend of Willow's is a friend of mine. So, Willow, why the big cloak and dagger approach to Vee?"

Willow pursed her lips, looking angry. "Excuse me? Are you implying that I need some sort of a weapon to use against my own datemate?"

Luz waved her hands frantically. "No, no! It's a human idiom! All I meant is why is xe such a big secret?"

"Oh," Willow said. "Well, I was worried you'd freak out. After all, a basilisk nearly killed us all once."

Luz was disappointed that Willow would think so little of Luz's tolerance. But, then again, it was only natural that she might think so, given all the horror stories of great intolerance in the Human Realm. "Come on, Willow. I think you know me better than that. Besides, look at xem! Total sweetheart. I'm an awesome judge of character. After all, I made friends with you, didn't I?"

Willow suddenly hugged Luz tightly. "Thank you."

"It sucks that you thought you had to keep that a secret," Luz said. "It couldn't have been easy not being able to brag about having such a cute and cool datemate." Luz noticed Amity pursing her lips tightly and decided to quickly move the subject to safer waters. "So how'd the two of you meet?"

"Well, Vee is new to Hexside, and xe's in the plant track, so xe asked me to tutor xem," Willow explained. "And I learned that not only is xe really smart, but xe's just as nice and, um, well, really pretty! We became friends, and when Grom rolled around, I took the plunge and asked xem to be my datemate and date to the dance. And xe said yes!"

Vee let out a giggle and planted a kiss on Willow's cheek. Willow blushed crimson. Amity let out a vicious smile, doubtlessly thinking about all the ways she could get payback on Willow for her gentle, good-natured teasing of Amity's own frequent blushing.

"They're such a cute couple!" Skara said. Luz couldn't help but let out a yelp. She was so focused on Willow and Vee that she'd completely failed to notice Skara standing next to Gus. "You two are here together?" Luz asked.

"No!" both of them shouted at once.

"We're just here as friends," Gus clarified. "I got sick of people making fun of me for not having a date, and Skara got sick of jerks hitting on her, so we decided to solve both our problems and go together."

Well, that made sense, even if Luz had not seen such a pairing happening even in the context of both of them being friends. They really seemed happy being there as friends too. "You're not hosting this year again?"

"No, that honor went to Edric and Jerbo," Amity said darkly. Luz winced. Things were definitely going to get interesting with the two of them hosting.

Vee gave them a smile. How anyone could see xyr as a bloodthirsty monster instead of one of the most adorable people Luz had ever met, Luz had no idea. "It's going to be okay! Edric told me that he got this human book which would teach him how to DJ r-r-right!" That just made Luz even more nervous.

And sure enough, her worst fears were confirmed when the stage curtains opened and Edric came strutting out in an outfit that Elvis at his most flamboyant wouldn't have gotten caught dead in. Jerbo followed him out, wearing a much more subdued tuxedo. "How's it hanging, Hexsiders?!" Edric shouted.

"Can you kill me now, Luz?" Amity requested. Luz kissed her on the cheek instead.

"Today, I am here with a message to mommy and daddy dearest: You can totally suck it!" A loud cheer erupted from the crowd, and even Amity joined in. "Yeah, I'm still here, I'm gay as hell, and my super boyfriend Jerbo is here with me! We're going to make this party the best one that Hexside has ever seen! But first, let's give it up for my badass sisters Emira and Amity, and their girlfriends Viney and Luz! Yeah, mom and dad, all three of your children are gay! YOU LOST, WE WON!"

Luz kissed Amity to the cheers of the adoring crowd. Meanwhile, Viney lifted Emira onto her shoulders and Emira gave a double thumbs up to the crowd. "I have the best girlfriend ever, and I still have no clue how I did it!" Emira shouted.

After Viney put Emira back on the ground, Emira drew Viney into a kiss which lasted…quite a long time. In fact, it didn't really stop at all – Emira just kept kissing Viney and then they left the gym and, well, Luz didn't want to think at all about what was going to happen to them after that.

"Okay, so did not need to see that," Edric muttered. "Let's get to the fun part of the program! Jerbo, pull the lever!" Jerbo pulled one of two levers next to Edric. A trapdoor opened and Edric screamed, "WRONG LEVER!" as he fell through it. A few minutes later, he entered the gym, soaking wet, an eyeball-popping, razor-toothed, ear-drilling flying fish biting his butt. He smacked the fish, which flew across the room and then promptly suffocated.

"Why do we even have that lever?" Edric ranted. He returned to his original position and pulled the other lever. The lights went out. "Let's give it up for our Grom queen! You may know her as the prime minister, or as the Owl Lady, or as the most powerful witch on the Boiling Isles, but whatever title she goes by she is the mighty, the amazing Eda Clawthorne!"

The lights turned on and Eda strutted into the room. She was dressed in armor that looked durable but with great maneuverability as well. She didn't look scared to an outside observer, but Luz knew her owl mom better than practically anyone else did. She was petrified.

But Eda would die before showing such a thing in front of a crowd of people, so instead, she just struck a pose and said, "Hey, great to be here! I want to give a huge shoutout to my partners, the lovely Raine Whispers and Camila Noceda!"

Cheers erupted from the crowd, but they were also interspersed with whispers and muttering. Some people weren't happy, to say the least, that Eda was in a relationship with a human. And this was the first time that she'd actually publicly acknowledged their relationship. But Eda wasn't afraid of the consequences of doing so. She loved who she loved, and she refused to apologize for it.

Luz looked over at Raine and Camila and found them gazing at their girlfriend with a love and adoration that was hard to beat. The two of them were hopelessly besotted and it was the most beautiful thing in the world to see.

"Now I'm going to show that fear monster who's boss! Who's with me?!" A gigantic cheer emerged from the crowd. Eda transformed into the Harpy Beast, and gasps came from the crowd. She had kept her new form on the downlow at Lilith's insistence, but clearly, Eda was done hiding it. Eda didn't bother with a weapon – in the Harpy Beast form, she was one.

Jerbo pressed the button that caused the dance floor to open up, and then the amorphous, bubbling form of Grom appeared. Luz couldn't help but let out a squeak of fright. Even though her innermost fear had turned out to be totally unfounded, the memories of facing the illusory disappointed form of Camila still haunted her somewhat.

Grom morphed into a snarling creature that looked like a wolf, except for the part where it was covered in eyes, and lunged at Eda. Eda easily sidestepped the blow and the eyewolf landed on the ground with an undignified thud. Its next blow would have torn Eda to shreds, but she'd magically toughened her skin and the ferociously sharp claws barely even penetrated her skin at all. Eda leaped forward and slit the eyewolf's throat from ear to ear.

Grom tried the same thing over and over again, morphing into powerful creature after powerful creature, only to be easily bested by Eda. Just when Luz was certain that Grom was about to be unceremoniously defeated, it did something she didn't suspect at all.

It morphed into the Owl Beast.

Eda may have been the Owl Beast, but she only knew about how to fight it from within, not from without, and it quickly overwhelmed her defenses. Eda fired spell after spell at it, but it tanked everything that Eda threw at it, whether it be fireball or ice spikes.

Then the Owl Beast sliced Eda's head off. Camila let out a horrified scream. Oh, right. Luz had forgotten to tell her that Eda could survive getting her head chopped off.

Eda's symbiosis with her curse thankfully hadn't robbed her of her ability to survive decapitation and she appeared completely unharmed…but also completely immobile, since her brain was not able to give instructions to the rest of her limbs. The Owl Beast advanced on Eda, and Luz was certain right then and there that her mother's story was about to come to an end.

"NOT MY MOM, YOU BITCH!" a voice screamed and a laser beam sliced through the Owl Beast's skull, leaving it dead on the ground. Luz would ordinarily be celebrating triumphantly at that, were it not for the identity of the person now making a badass pose with one of Ford's blaster pistols.

It was another Luz.

It was Grom pretending to be Luz. And Eda had no idea.

"THAT'S NOT ME!" Luz screamed at her. "Eda, that's Grom! Don't trust her!"

Eda didn't appear to be listening or maybe she was unable to hear her. Either way, she just let out a loud cheer and said, "All right, Luz! I knew I could rely on you to ride to my rescue! Man, that was a badass move! Can you put my head back on?" Luz expected Grom to blast Eda instead, maybe with a pithy quote like "The Lannisters send their regards," but instead, Grom just put Eda's head back on.

Eda grabbed Luz's hand and held it into the air, expecting triumphant screams. Everyone knew that the fight wasn't over yet, so no one was screaming in triumph. Quite a few people were yelling that the Luz in the arena was a fake, but Eda didn't appear to be listening. "GROM IS VANQUISHED FOR THE YEAR, WITCHES!" Eda screamed, and then the Owl Beast revived behind her and thrust its paw through the fake Luz's back.

Blood spilled all over the stone floor of the arena. Fake Luz tried to say something, but only blood came out of her mouth. Eda tried to use healing magic, but it was to no avail. The massive hole in Fake Luz's chest wouldn't even have been able to be healed under normal circumstances, let alone ones caused by a Grom-induced illusion.

"I…love…" Fake Luz finally managed to say, and then she fell dead to the ground.

Eda let out a scream that was so loud that it incapacitated almost everyone in the room. The Owl Beast disintegrated. She retracted into her original form and sank to her knees, crying hysterically, a stream of tears that never seemed to end.

"It's not real!" Luz screamed at her, to no avail. "I'm alive! Look, mom, I'm right here!"

Eda tried to stand up, and then a sandal smashed into her face, causing her to fall down to the ground again. Grom was now taking the form of Camila, who had la chancla in her hand and was practically snarling with fury. "¡Maldita bruja! ¡Mataste a mi hija!"

"No, no, no," Eda stammered. "I didn't…it wasn't me!"

"I trusted you," Grom said, and Luz could practically see Eda's heart shatter. "I trusted you with my daughter. I trusted you with my heart! I thought I was in love with you! As if I could ever love a witch like you. You're just some dangerous animal at heart, aren't you, bruja?"

"Camila, no!" Eda shouted. "No, no, it was an accident. She…I never asked her to help me."

Grom spat in Eda's face. "You always asked more of her than she could give! You took and took and took! You took my daughter from me! She could have been normal, like I always wanted, and instead, you turned her into a copy of yourself!"

Eda blinked. "This isn't right. This isn't you."

Grom looked panicked for a second. Eda was going off-script and it didn't like it. "Oh? You think that I don't have the right to be angry about how you treated my daughter like a pawn? About how you got her killed?!"

Eda stood up, looking determined. "You're going to have to do better than that, Grom! I know the real Camila, and if I'd gotten Luz killed, she wouldn't be ranting at me like this. She'd have already beaten me to death with la chancla!"

Camila let out a shout of triumph, and Eda finally appeared to be able to notice it and gave a wide smile at her. In that moment of distraction, Grom lunged at Eda, still in Camila's form, intent on strangling her to death. But Eda summoned the laser pistol to her hand telekinetically and fired a stream of bolts into Grom's chest.

Grom let out an ear-piercing screech and then it was gone for good once more. Eda had won!

"YES!" Camila yelled. "Do you see that? That's my girlfriend down there! Raine, that's our girlfriend down there!" Eda ran up and hugged them both tightly, one at a time. "Oh, Eda, I'm so proud of you. You know that I'd never say those things to you, right?"

Eda shrugged. "Yeah, sure. Hey, let's save the emotional stuff for later. Now's the time to party!"

Luz and her friends joined Camila down in the arena. Bump bestowed the traditional Grom queen tiara on Eda's head, looking begrudgingly impressed with her. "I will deny this if anyone asks, but I'm proud of you," Bump said quietly. "Do not expect that to happen again."

He turned to face Camila. "Mrs. Noceda, you must be quite the interesting human indeed for Grom to take your form two years in a row."

Luz let out a loud yelp. She had tried so hard to hide the fact that Camila's wrath had been her worst fear, and now it was out in the open. "Mami, I can explain."

Camila put out a hand. "Come here, mija." She led Luz to an isolated part of the gym and gave her a warm smile. "I told you before that you didn't need to tell me what your fear was, and I meant that. Nothing has changed. But, Luz…you don't have to tell me if you don't want to, but did your fear come to pass?"

Luz had been so scared that her mother would force her to choose between Earth and the Boiling Isles. She'd been terrified that Camila wouldn't believe her, that she'd think she was crazy, that she'd be so angry that she'd stop loving Luz. But none of that had happened, and none of that could happen. "No," she said simply. "It didn't."

Camila nodded. Luz could tell that she knew now what Luz's worst fear had been, but she still wasn't going to drag it out of Luz despite that. "I just…I really wonder what it is about me that makes people so afraid of me."

"You've got it all wrong, mami!" Luz said fervently. "We're not afraid of you! We're afraid of disappointing you, because you're such an awesome person that we look up to."

"Gracias, Luz," Camila said softly. "That means a lot to me. Well, far be it from me to take up any more of your time. Your girlfriend needs attention more than I do now!"

"Te quiero, mami," Luz said, and after hugging Camila, she strode over to Amity. She was expecting Amity to be pleased to see her. She was not expecting Amity to be looking almost shellshocked. "You okay, sweetie?"

Amity let out a somewhat shrill laugh. "Of course I'm not okay! I just had to watch you die!"

Oh. Right. Luz had forgotten about that. In her defense, she'd been more freaked out about what it was doing to Eda than actually thinking about what it was like to see herself die. "Well, that wasn't me. I'm still here! I'm still alive, and still in love with my awesome girlfriend. We…we can go if you want?"

Amity looked like she was seriously considering doing just that, and then she put up her head, a sure sign that she was stubbornly committed to a course of action. "No. That would be giving Grom a victory. I refuse to do that. Edric!" Edric's ears perked up. "Give us the most romantic music you can think of!"

"You got it, baby sis!" Edric said. "A guy named Dipper from the Human Realm gave these CDs to me that he says contain the best songs created by humans, and it'll be child's play to get them to work!" After struggling with the CD player for a full half hour, Edric finally got the thing to work. Luz was tempted to help, but Amity was so amused by his technological struggles that she couldn't bear to wipe that expression off her face.

A very familiar – and, despite Dipper's claims to the contrary, very unromantic tune – started playing. It was Dipper's favorite song, "Disco Girl," sung by Icelandic pop sensation BABBA. It didn't matter, though. Any dance with Amity was a romantic one.

"May I have this dance, Luz?" Amity said, holding out her hand.

"Well, sure, Amity!" Luz said. "That's what friends do, isn't it?" The two of them let out a giggle at their shared in-joke and started slow dancing.

Saturday night is a night all right

Luz looked out at the stage at the various couples dancing, and couldn't help but feel a sense of profound contentment. Her mothers had found love. Willow had found love. She had found love. Gus had found a friend who turned out to be an awesome dancer, as befitting her status as a bard student.

Time to groove till the morning light

"Well, Amity, was this Grom as good as the last one?" Luz asked her.

Your bellbottoms on

"No," Amity said. Luz let out a gasp.

Your hair unfurls

"It was better!" Amity said, and Luz let out a squeal and spun her around.

You are the disco girl

Luz gave Amity a deep, long kiss. Even in an otter onesie – especially in an otter onesie – she looked stunningly gorgeous.

Everyone gasps when you hit the scene

"I love you," both of them said at the exact same side, and then both of them blushed.

People say you're a funky queen

Luz touched Amity's cheek. It was so soft. She had once believed – some part of her had literally believed – that it wasn't possible for something so amazing to happen to her. She now knew that she was wrong.

Spinning around like a disco ball

"So I wonder what your parents will say when they see those photos of you," Luz said.

Who's the honey who's got it all?

Amity, obviously. It couldn't be anyone else. "Oh, Father probably won't care – he doesn't seem to care about anything at all, never did," Amity said, and then her lips twisted into a vicious smile. "But Mother…she's going to blow a gasket." Luz couldn't help but be proud that Amity was picking up so many human expressions. "I could see steam coming out of her ears like in those cartoons."

Disco girl, coming through, that girl is you!

"I sure wish that we could see that for ourselves," Luz commented.

It's the year 1972 and that girl is you

Amity tilted her head. "Well, maybe we could. I normally hate using oracle magic, but perhaps I could make an exception?" Amity was very good at oracle magic, actually, but since her mother had used it – and frequently used it on Amity – she tended to avoid it like the plague these days.

You can sing! You can shimmer!

"I don't think we need to do that," Luz said gently. "With your mom, I think the best approach is out of sight, out of mind."

Love's on the menu and disco's for dinner!

Amity sighed. "You're probably right. I just…I just wish that I could have grown up without her. Away from her thumb. I'd be a whole new person."

Disco girl, coming through, that girl is you!

Luz dipped Amity, causing her to practically faint with excitement, precisely as Luz planned. The last thing she wanted Amity to do was dwell on what might have been. "Let's not focus on the past. I want to focus on the present.

She's got sass for miles and miles!

"I like the present," Amity agreed.

Disco will outlast all musical styles!

Luz couldn't let out a giggle at the sheer untruthfulness of that statement. "You know, Amity, this is just like the tunnel of love in a way. Sure, it's cheesy and silly…I mean, you're wearing an otter onesie! But it's so us."

Disco girl so wild and true, that girl is you!

"Te amo, Luz," Amity whispered. Luz's heart did flip flops. Her girlfriend had just said te amo to her! "Uh, you don't have to say it back if you don't want to."

Strutting down the avenue, that girl is you!

"But I do want to," Luz said. "Te amo, Amity."

Our Eurovision application is under review! That girl is you!

Steve liked being a prison guard. He sure enjoyed it more than his old job as a lackey for the Emperor's Coven. Some people considered him evil for serving the emperor, but Steve had seven children to support, he was a single parent, and rebellion didn't exactly put food on the table. He'd done what he could to make things better. Besides, Lilith was now deputy prime minister, and she'd done a lot more nefarious things than he did. Why shouldn't he be allowed to continue to contribute to society too?

He was a naturally positive witch, and he preferred to focus on the good parts of the job. He was keeping dangerous criminals at bay. And these were real criminals now, who had committed crimes, gotten due process, and gotten sentenced to prison terms, not people whose only crime had been just speculating that they were actually all just characters in a fanfic written by a human in another dimension known only by the user name the_sentient_duck.

Now, another good part of his job was approaching: Mail call! It was always inspiring to see the prisoners get messages from people who cared about them. Steve was particularly looking forward to this mail call, because Odalia Blight had gotten her first message from her children since she'd gotten locked up! As a father himself, Steve could sympathize with her being distraught that her children didn't want to have anything to do with her, although he had to admit that promising to eat their eyes when she saw them next was taking things too far.

"Hi, Odalia!" Steve said in his usual chirpy tone. "Looks like you've got a letter from your daughter Amity today!"

Odalia grabbed the letter out of Steve's hands without so much of a thank you. That wasn't much of a surprise. She'd always been that rude. The whole noblesse oblige thing appeared to a myth. At least Alador occasionally nodded at Steve when he saw him roaming the halls on the rare occasions he appeared to be in the real world instead of wherever he was in his head usually. But Steve couldn't blame her for being so eager to read the letter.

He watched as Odalia opened the envelope and took out a piece of paper that read, written in beautiful handwriting, "Dear Mother, go fuck yourself. Sincerely, Amity Blight." Odalia, trembling all over, then took out a photograph of Amity dressed in a sensational looking onesie next to the prime minister's human daughter.

Odalia let out an ear-piercing scream and then her face turned so red with fury that she ended up passing out a few seconds later.

Steve had no idea what about the photograph, in particular, had caused her so much distress. Amity looked amazing! Steve hoped that his own children would look so awesome when it was time to go to their Groms.

There was no accounting for taste, Steve supposed.