"Ready to give this a try, Skitty?" May asked, on the road south.
"I should say so," Skitty agreed, with a flirt of her tail.
"Okay, Pikachu, let's show Skitty what she should be doing," Ash called, and Pikachu used Thunderbolt.
It flashed out, hitting the path ahead of them, and Skitty watched carefully as Pikachu did it two more times.
"My word, but you handle that move with an expert flair," she told Pikachu. "It's truly inspiring, so you have my sincere thanks."
Then she frowned, trying to concentrate, and… coughed.
"I may need more work on that one," she decided.
"Probably," Brock agreed. "Maybe Taillow can help? Or Unown?"
"Unown could, yeah," Ash agreed, and Latias passed down the Pokéball so he could send the Psychic-type out. "Unown, can you demonstrate what the Electric type is like to Skitty?"
"Confirmed," Unown agreed. "Hidden Power."
A green orb appeared in front of them, floating over to Skitty, who examined it carefully.
Then licked it.
It went frzzzap and vanished, puffing up all of Skitty's fur, and she gasped. "My word!"
"Let's… go back to trying just the Thunderbolt, okay?" May asked, picking Skitty up and giving her a stroke.
"Actually, this could help?" Max said. "Static charges on fur are electric, so it could be a good way to get some current started…"
About half an hour later, and a mile or two down the road, Skitty rubbed her tail against May's tent groundsheet.
It was the thing they'd found which was best at making static charge, and after several rubs Skitty's fur was all standing on end.
"I do hope this works," she said, then there was a zap as she used something that was a lot like Thunderbolt even if it didn't have the same impact.
"There you go!" May said, delighted. "Oh, that means we can check if you've got Normalize or not, right?"
Max was about to agree, but there was a frightened sort of sound from over to the right.
A blue-and-white Swablu fluttered into the air, wavered sideways as one wing didn't lift it the same as the other, and landed squarely on Max's head.
"Huh?" Max asked, startled. "Hey, are you okay?"
"It's not a thunderstorm, phew," the Swablu said, relieved, then fell asleep on Max's head.
"Hmm," Ash frowned. "I think that Swablu's injured… they sounded like a girl to me. But maybe Skitty and Pikachu should stop using Thunderbolt for a bit? It sounded like she thought it was a thunderstorm, and if she fell asleep that quickly then she needs the sleep."
Max had been reaching up to take the Flying-type off his head, but lowered his hands again. "So… I guess I've got a Pokémon for a hat, now."
"Seems like," May agreed. "Maybe she'll join us for lunch?"
Swablu didn't join them for lunch, as she was still asleep, and proved to sleep right through the afternoon's travel as well – along with the training that took place, as Skitty slowly got the hang of how to actually do Thunderbolt.
She did wake up towards the evening, though, and was a bit embarrassed.
"Sorry," she piped. "I was so tired…"
Ash translated, and the Flying-type looked at him curiously for a moment before gasping.
"Oh, right! I forgot, humans don't understand Pokémon speech."
"Yeah, but usually humans can learn some important words, and what Pokémon are trying to say," Ash said. "Which can be pretty close sometimes, after all."
"That makes sense," Swablu said.
She tried to take off, then winced. "Ow! That's still hurting!"
"Your wing's hurting?" Ash checked. "Brock, do you know any medicine?"
"A bit," Brock agreed, getting something out of his bag. "Okay, Swablu, let me know where is closest to where it hurts, okay?"
He tapped along her wing, and at the fourth tap Swablu peeped. "There!"
"There," Ash passed on.
"Okay, let's see," Brock decided. "I'm going to move your wing slightly, and then I'm going to splint it in place so it heals. Is that all right?"
Swablu nodded.
"I think it's a minor break in one of the bones," Brock explained, feeling carefully. "So… and… there we go. The bones are aligned together, so we just need to stop it from moving until they're fixed up."
"That does mean you'll have to stay still for a few days," Max added. "Or, not fly anywhere. So I guess we can stick around here?"
The Flying-type considered that.
"It'd be a shame for you to stop moving, though," she said. "And, to be honest, I'm completely lost anyway… I could just go with you? Your hair was comfy."
Ash translated that, and Max looked, oddly enough, thunderstruck.
"...have I got a Pokémon now?" he asked. "At least, until she decides to leave, or something?"
"Good question," May said, trying not to giggle. "If Swablu's been asleep all day, though, I bet she's hungry."
"Oh!" Swablu gasped, before wincing as Brock strapped the splints around her wing. "Food? That sounds good!"
A few days later and not far from Petalburg City, the friends had reached a port town where they were stopping for lunch.
Swablu stretched out her wing, waving it back and forth, then winced.
"Ow," she said. "Does that mean it's still broken?"
Ash was about to translate, but Brock got there first.
"If you're asking whether it's still broken, then I don't actually know," he told her. "It's probably been strained by what happened to you, and you'll need to exercise it again so you can fly with it even after it's healed. But it's probably better to give it another day or check in at a Pokémon Centre to be sure."
"Okay," Swablu nodded. "Pokémon Centres… they're in towns, right? Like this?"
"Yeah, most towns have one," Ash told her. "Sometimes they're even found out in the wilderness, because it's too far from towns there but a lot of people go through. And it's always better to have medical attention close by."
Swablu nodded her understanding, held out her wing to have the splints tied on again – Max did it this time – then hopped up his arm to his head and sat down on it.
"That's still really cute," May giggled. "Maybe we should ask Dad if there's some way for you to have Pokémon when you're not yet ten years old? That kid from Slateport did…"
"Yeah, I know," Max grumbled. "So… I guess we're heading into town for the Pokémon Centre after we've finished eating?"
They headed into town, but before long found out that the whole of the town had a Gulpin problem.
Actually, it tuned out to have three Gulpin problems.
The first problem was that there were too many Gulpin, which was a problem the town had every year because they ate all the food. The second problem, which was presented as a solution to the first, was that the local Professor Jacuzzi had become inspired and had developed a space-time manipulation particle cannon based on Stockpile and Spit Up to shrink down the Gulpin.
The third problem was that it overloaded, and exploded, and a Gulpin ended up expanded to enormous size in the middle of the town.
So did Treecko, who'd been trying to help.
"Oh, great," Max said, looking up. "What do we do now?"
"It's up to Treecko," Ash said, reaching up under his stomach with a hoof and fiddling with the saddlebag strap. "Where… uh… there it is!"
He detached the fastener, then headed over to the nearest building and began trotting quickly up the side.
"Ash!" Latias said, looking up, then back down, then picked up the saddlebags and followed him. "What are you doing?"
"I'm trying to get high enough I can see what's going on!" Ash explained, half his attention on making sure he had at least two hooves on the building at all times and that he wasn't knocking himself away from it. "Treecko! Can you try and stop Gulpin causing trouble?"
"I'm hungry," Gulpin complained, then started trying to squeeze past Treecko.
Treecko blocked with his tail, then Ash reached the roof and swung himself onto the top.
"I guess it's going to take a run up to sort this out," he said, frowning. "Or, if we want to knock Gulpin backwards… Treecko! Can you move back with Quick Attack to get a run up, then forwards again?"
As Treecko was about to try that, however, a third giant Pokémon came on scene.
Specifically, a giant, mechanical Delibird… holding some kind of glowing blue apparatus.
The head flipped up like a swing-lid bin, and Jessie and James stood with their arms folded.
"Prepare to rumble!" Jessie said.
"And make it bundle!" James agreed.
Gulpin wasn't paying any attention, and Treecko was doing his best to try and stop the other gigantic Pokémon from getting past him.
"To pay attention to hints we've seen!" Jessie said, boldly.
James held something up. "And take inspiration from magazines!"
"To Lock On to something green!" Jessie added, nudging a control, and the flipped-off head of the mecha started flashing as its eyes glowed.
"And defeat this giant Poké-fiend!" James concurred.
"Jessie!"
"James!"
Ash could hear Professor Jacuzzi trying to work out how to reverse the shrinking effect, but then Jessie fiddled with a control and picked up a microphone.
"Everyone's welcome to join the flock!" she said, her voice now much louder.
"But if you're Zacian, you'd better take stock!" James warned.
"What even is a Zacian?" Professor Jacuzzi asked, distracted.
"Oh, you must be new!" Jessie realized. "Welcome!"
Fortunately enough, it turned out that Team Rocket started out by attacking Gulpin, instead of Treecko.
This was especially beneficial because the weird device hooked up to the tail of their mecha-Delibird turned out to be a powerful ice cannon, blasting Gulpin with a jet of freezing energy that made the Poison-type flinch back.
On the other hand, or hoof, or whatever it was that Ash was supposed to say these days, that also meant that Treecko had a moment when he wasn't having to body block Gulpin. Ash told him to get some distance, and the Grass-type did, hurrying down the main street of the city and doing his best not to step on any cars.
"Circle around, Treecko!" Ash called. "There's a lake, get ready to knock them both into the lake!"
"Got it!" Treecko replied, crouching, then sprang into the air. He went clear over the building Ash was on, landing on a construction site, then crouched for extra leverage.
"Extremespeed!" Ash called.
Treecko blurred forwards, hitting the half-frozen Gulpin, then kept going and hit the mecha Delibird as well. All three huge Pokémon or pseudo-Pokémon went towards the lake, too far for Ash to tell them, and Ash looked down.
Swallowed.
"Latias, if this goes wrong, get ready to catch me!" he said, backing up to the far end of the roof, then used Extremespeed himself and jumped.
He landed in the lake, at least.
Then Koraidon came out of her Pokéball and helped tow him to shore, pushing powerfully against the water with all four paws, and Ash just sort of let her do it because she was doing a lot better than he was at the whole swimming thing.
"Treecko, spin and Pound them both!" he called.
Treecko was on the lakeside by now, and he swung his tail at the mecha first. The ice cannon exploded, then so did the rest of the mecha, and Team Rocket vanished off into the sky like they always did.
Treecko, on the other whatever, turned and hit Gulpin with a Pound attack which seemed to knock the Poison-type into a woozy, dizzy state.
Then evolved into Grovyle.
Then, just as Ash and Koraidon reached the shore, shrank back to normal size.
"Phew," the Grass-type said, panting. "That was exhausting, and also, I'm glad I shrank at all."
Professor Jacuzzi caught the Gulpin in a Heavy Ball after the Pokémon refused to shrink, and said he'd work out a way to shrink them some day.
After that, though, it wasn't long before the friends got back to Petalburg… and, with it, Petalburg Gym.
"Ah!" Norman said, when he opened the door. "It's good to see you all."
He paused.
"Max, is that a hat or a Swablu?"
"Both," Max said. "She likes my head, I think… we met lots of kids who had Pokémon, even one who was going on his Pokémon journey, and I'm pretty sure they weren't ten years or older. What's up with that?"
"I would guess," Norman stressed, "that they got some kind of special permission from a parent, guardian or other relative to take the Pokémon with them despite the Pokémon being officially registered to someone else. There is a way to do that, we'll see about it later, but you can't use them for any official matches even if you do do that."
He turned his attention to May. "And how have you been doing on Contests?"
"I haven't done one since I told you last," May answered. "I've got two Ribbons and four Pokémon, still."
Norman nodded, then stepped aside so they could come in.
"So I had a theory," Norman explained. "And what I've done is, I've got some of my Pokémon ready to help out. If I'm right, you've got badges for Gyms associated with Dragon, Normal, Rock, Fighting, Electric and Fire types, and most of them make you change colour… and we proved that you're a Normal type at the moment, while my badge doesn't make you change colour."
"That's right," Ash agreed. "But there was something else that did the same sort of thing, it's a medal I got from the Togepi Kingdom. That one makes my ring turn pink."
"Pink," Norman repeated. "That actually helps out, if I'm right about this. So… Max? May? What unites the Rock, Electric, Fire and Fairy types?"
"Um," May frowned. "They don't all have Eevee evolutions or I'd have said it was that…"
"They're all immune to something," Max answered.
"Really?" May asked. "I thought only Fairy was immune to something, the Dragon type."
"It's not just Types you can be immune to," Max explained. "It's other things as well. Electric type is immune to Paralysis."
"Exactly," Norman confirmed. "So what I think is going on is that your badges are making you change Type. But, first, there's actually something else to test."
He sent out a Girafarig. "I don't have many Pokémon with Skill Swap, but I do have Girafarig here. What I'm going to have her do is use Skill Swap on you, and then we can see if what's going on with you is an Ability or not."
"Oh, I get it!" Ash realized. "So if I'm holding one, and I change back when she uses Skill Swap, then it is an Ability!"
"Almost," Norman answered. "You've got to think carefully about this kind of thing. Ash, are you ready for this?"
"Yeah!" Ash agreed. "Or, actually, not just yet… Latias, can you get a Badge out please?"
Latias did just that, and Ash's ring changed to yellow as he picked up Wattson's badge.
"Okay, let's see what happens!"
Girafarig's horns glowed, and she used Skill Swap.
Ash did not change colour.
"Okay, so… not an Ability, right?" Brock said. "Or…"
"Let's find out," Norman answered, sending out a Vigoroth. "Seed Bomb!"
Ash yelped, surprised, but Norman hadn't been pointing at him. The Seed Bomb exploded on Girafarig, and after the cloud of green smoke had faded she shrugged.
"Didn't feel a thing, except energized."
"...oh, I get it," Brock realized. "So your Girafarig has Sap Sipper, right? And she still has it."
"Which means that Ash's Ability is one of the ones that can't be overwritten by Skill Swap," Norman explained. "They're rare, like Wonder Guard, but they do exist. Which means we are going to have to have you be the target of attacks, Ash, not Girafarig."
"That's okay," Ash replied. "I was sort of expecting that."
"Now, since you're using that one, let's start with Thunder Wave," Norman said. "This shouldn't paralyze you, if we're right…"
Half an hour of experiments later, Max had helpfully typed up all their conclusions, and then Ash read out all the things he'd heard when he'd got each badge or the Togepi Kingdom medal.
"So… we know that each of them gives you a Type," Norman said. "And it seems to mean that you're only that Type. But I don't think I can get at the messages they're trying to tell you, except that you're earning them by defeating Gym Leaders and that they're called Plates."
The Gym Leader thought for a long moment more, then shook his head. "Well, I'm not sure, but hopefully one of the others will tell you what the Original One is or what the rules are here."
"I hope so, too," Ash said. "I feel like there's… it's like there's a giant puzzle, and the answer is who I am, and there's enough pieces that I should be able to start putting some of them together."
Norman looked contemplative. "Well, I have something you could test, it's an idea only but you could try it. What moves have you learned now?"
"Recover, that's the Egg Move," Ash answered. "Extremespeed and Foresight. And…"
He wavered, then decided to keep going. "There's something else, which was… really, scarily powerful. I can only do it with Unown's help, and it really tired me out, but I don't know anything else about it."
Norman nodded. "Thank you for telling me about that, Ash."
He stroked his chin. "I… think I have something to test. All the moves you've mentioned are Normal type, which, good choice, but maybe you could try to learn a move that isn't. While carrying the same Badge that the move is."
A shrug. "Really, you should try learning a move that the badge isn't and a move the badge is, but that might be too much work for someone who's also being a Pokémon trainer…"
Gospel of Oops 4
"Okay, Ash, there's one more thing we need to work out," Norman said. "You see, I've got a hypothesis about those Badges of yours, and fortunately I have the things we need to test it."
"What's a hypothesis?" Ash asked.
"It's like a theory, but you use the right words," Max provided.
Norman went over to one of the gym arena doors, and pushed it open. "The equipment for this was too large to fit in the room, so I fitted it outside…"
Mystified, Ash followed.
There was a large slab of iron outside, held up on a frame, and Norman went over to stand next to it.
"What we're going to be doing, right now, is testing how the power of your attacks changes when you change colour," he explained. "And, more importantly, how the power of your attacks changes when you hold one of your badges."
"...right?" Ash said, still none the wiser.
"The only attacking move you have right now is Extremespeed, but that's okay," Norman said, then looked a little concerned. "Hopefully… anyway! I looked up how the original STAB tests were done, and I've recreated it here."
"Stab?" Latias repeated.
"Same type attack bonus, I do remember that one," Ash said. "It's how it's stronger if a Charizard does a Fire attack than if it does an attack that should be just as strong… how a Charizard and a Dragonite both using a Fire attack, the Charizard can be stronger, but both using a Dragon attack the Dragonite can be stronger."
"Exactly," Norman confirmed. "Anyway, to do these tests, they measured the impact of attacks to find exactly the kind of relationship you're talking about… and because my Badge doesn't do anything to Ash's type, I was interested to see if it affected the power of his attacks. So, Ash, you'd probably better take all your gear off… then, Extremespeed the target!"
"I'm… not sure this is really the right way to find this kind of thing out?" Brock admitted.
Ash was already divesting himself of his saddlebags. Next he shrugged his hat off, giving it to Pikachu to hold, took a brief run-up, and rammed into the iron.
It didn't actually knock the target over, but it did leave it with a dent shaped a bit like his face.
"Okay, good!" Norman said. "Now, let's move on to the next target, and hit it from the same distance!"
"I should be holding the Balance Badge, right?" Ash asked, shaking his head a little.
"No, we need lots of hits to be a good baseline," Norman replied. "I've got about thirty of these set up, and we're going to need all of them… it's also why I have plenty of Leppa Berries ready."
At the end of the testing, they were, apparently, officially confident that Ash's badges did make his attacks stronger, though not by as much as STAB did.
Ash wasn't quite sure of the exact numbers, though. He had a bit of a headache.
AN:
You've got to be scientific about these things.
The Gospel of Oops this time is based on how they actually did things like measure cannon firepower in centuries past, especially in terms of finding out whether two of them were equivalent in strength.