Chapter 14. Enterprise.
He does not reproduce this experiment. He knows, on some level, that it is part of his previous disordered thoughts, though he cannot say why or what he should be doing instead.
Everything has become a muddle that he is unaccustomed to, logic confused with disorder, both of them demanding a control that fed into two perspectives at odds with one another.
At a loss as to the correct course of action, Spock decides to fall back on the diet plan that has been working until now, and surrenders himself to the cold logic of the computer programme and bathroom scale.
Fortunately, this proves to be the correct choice. Eventually, he finds himself back down to what Starfleet (in contrast to its supposedly pacifist nature) calls a "healthy fighting weight". And, as the doctor predicted, he finds himself finally reaching this goal shortly before graduation.
On the morning that he is due to receive his first posting, he stands in front of the mirror in his underwear, as has become his habit, and examines his reflection.
For perhaps the first time in his life, he is satisfied by what is before him. He is lean, now, but in a healthy way. He is physically bigger than the last time he was lean, yes, but he hardly finds that surprising given the general tendency that all species have of filling out in adulthood. He has a defined muscle structure, high cheekbones, prominent collarbones and the hint of a ribcage that becomes more defined if he takes a measured breath in. His stamina is better than it ever was before, and he is rather marvelling at the sensation of feeling physically strong without also feeling faint.
Yes, overall, he can now decisively say that he is in good shape, and ready for whatever his first posting in Starfleet will bring.
oOo
He adapts to his first posting as an ensign on-board the Enterprise easily, and even finds to his surprise that the crew are more welcoming to him than past experience would have predicted.
He finds that he enjoys the varied assignments more than he could have anticipated, and often volunteers for extra work. In his off-duty hours, he often practices with his lyre in his quarters or exercises in the gym area.
He still feels slightly self-conscious exercising in the tight-fitting regulation sportswear, but soon learns that if he focuses himself on his workout he can tune the discomfort and other distractions out. In fact, he is quite enjoying the general feeling of health, the feeling that he really can run as far and as fast now as he would like without experiencing constant nausea and dizziness. What he does not expect, and that in retrospect he perhaps could have foreseen, is the difficulty in fitting exercise and regular mealtimes around his other commitments. But he thinks he manages well enough, and is performing more than adequately.
It is not until a few months have passed that he begins to really notice the fatigue. At the beginning he had dismissed it as an unfortunate reality of a change in circumstance and routine, but he is forced now to admit that it must be due to something else.
At first, he wonders if he is being remiss in his sleep or meditation patterns and adjusts his personal activities accordingly, but after a week or so of increased time dedicated to both, he is certain that this is not the cause.
Curiously, he notices one morning while changing into his uniform that his waistband has become loose. Not noticeably so - a quick, slight adjustment to the clothing dispenser's parameters resolves the issue - but it is interesting nonetheless.
It is only when the problem persists and all other solutions fail that he realises, belatedly, that he has perhaps neglected to factor in the increased physical nature of his duty compared to his studies on campus. He adjusts his maintenance diet accordingly and is strict with himself about logging the correct amount. On some days, particularly if he has been very busy, he notices he has come under and feels a slight thrill, the realisation causing a welcome feeling of hunger. On some days, he is then distracted before he can make up for this with a snack, and reasons that he will be better off going to bed slightly hungry than eating too late at night and risking unnecessary digestive issues.
Somewhere, at the back of his mind, is a whispered voice congratulating him, but he pays it no mind. He is, after all, behaving entirely logically and the voice is a mere remnant of past habits.