Edwin spends the day outside and mostly awake for the first time in nearly a week, though he finds himself winded and forced to sit more often than he'd like. He takes turns helping out T-Dog, Andrea or Carol around the farm. Considering everything the Greene family has suffered today there is a wordless agreement that they shouldn't have to worry about basic chores. Mouse naps for a few hours, then once she's awake, Carl begs Edwin to let them play Uno on the top of the RV with Dale.
"That way we can have three players!" Carl explains. Part of Edwin knows he should be asking Lori to make sure it's all right, but he figures it will be better to have the two under Dale's direct attention than find Lori and address the lack of supervision.
"Hey, Eddie?"
He's filling a bucket from one of the clean wells, having checked before bothering to draw water, when Carol's soft voice makes him break out in a cold sweat. In an instant, he's fifteen, his younger brother's wide grin flashing in his eyes.
"I—" He blinks hard, trying to focus on the cooling air, the smell of grass and livestock, the metal spigot under his hand. "Yes— I mean— I—"
Warm hands grab his own, and he flinches, registering how small they are too late. He stands there trembling, his face pale and eyes wide.
"Jenner," Carol says his name firmly. "Look at me."
He does because he's used to letting Candace make decisions.
"You're not there." Carol's eyes are knowing in a way that makes Edwin feel sick. "You're here on the Greene farm with me."
He nods jerkily, closing his eyes and focusing on the feel of her fingers rubbing against his own. "Okay, yes." Once he can breathe evenly, he opens his eyes.
"Sorry," he murmurs, pulling his sweaty hands back and wiping them on his pants. "I— Uh— That hasn't happened in— I mean—" Carol places her hand on his arm, and he stops trying to speak.
"What can I call you?" She asks softly, rubbing up and down. "My husband was named Ed, I'd rather not use that."
"Ah," he nods, then shrugs. "Jenner is fine." At her raised eyebrow, he chuckles, rubbing a hand over the back of his neck. "But, uh, Edwin works too."
Her lips twitch with amusement, her eyes crinkling at the corners. "Edwin," she says deliberately. "Do you think you could come help me in the kitchen?"
"I'd love to," he says genuinely, his shoulders dropping as most of the tension vanishes.
Carol raises her eyebrows, but she turns to lead the way as she responds. "Normally, I'd ask one of the other girls, but I'm not sure where Lori is right now and with Beth…" She sighs and shakes her head. "I just figured it would be better to let them be."
"Definitely," Edwin agrees. "Besides, I honestly like cooking. Candace preferred to just order take-out so if I ever wanted something home-cooked, it had to be me or her mother and well," he laughs and shakes his head. "It felt unfair to just expect Olive to do it all."
"Well then maybe you can help me out with meals more regularly."
As they reach the house, Edwin reflexively glances up at the RV. He sees Andrea on watch, but doesn't spot Mouse or Carl.
"Uh— Andrea?" He breaks away from Carol. "Do you know where—"
"They're over by the—" Andrea cuts herself off when she sees Carol, shifting uncomfortably. "Carl said they were heading over to the apple tree."
Edwin relaxes, turning back to Carol and saying, "I'll just be a minute. I'm gonna ask them to come inside since it's getting dark."
"I'll come along," Carol insists.
They walk together to the line of graves, finding Carl and Mouse sitting before Sophia's. He's speaking quietly but stops when he hears the rustle of their footsteps.
"Hey kids," Edwin smiles to assure them nothing is wrong. He glances at the grave, swallowing the tight feeling in his throat. "You two doing alright?"
"Yeah," Carl won't quite look at him, focused on the grave before them. "We were just…" He glances at Mouse, then stands up to offer her a hand when he sees her struggling.
"Neither of you are in trouble," Carol adds when he doesn't continue. "Edwin and I were just curious."
"Well," Carl fidgets. "I found a lion toy for Mouse on the highway because she didn't have anything like Sophia's doll but…" When he turns to the grave, Edwin's gaze follows, and he spots the lion plushy surrounded by wildflowers.
"Oh," Carol's voice hitches. She covers her mouth and looks away.
"We can move it if it's bad or anything," Carl rushes to say. "We just thought— Well, since Sophia gave Mouse her doll…"
"That was a good idea," Edwin smiles at them. "I'm—" He takes a deep breath and forces himself to keep going. "I'm sure she'd have loved it."
Carl shrugs, and Carol makes a soft gasping sound. Mouse is staring at Carol, with a whimper she darts forward, throwing her arms around Carol's waist.
"Oh," Carol starts, stiffening before her hands come to rest on the girl's shoulders. "Mouse I'm— I'm alright. We should— I need to get—"
"How about I take Mouse and Carl up to the house, they can help me get dinner started." Edwin lays a hand on Mouse's shoulder, gently tugging her away from Carol.
He nods to Carol before guiding the two children up towards the house. Mouse keeps looking back over her shoulder, worry shining in her eyes, but he keeps his grip on her firm. Sometimes you just need to feel the loss.
With the laundry finished, there's little for Lori to keep busy with. She offers to help Patricia with anything they need, but between her, Otis and Maggie, Beth is well cared for. "Y'all are already doing everything you can," Otis states tiredly. "What with your folk goin' off to get Hershel."
"He should be here!" Maggie shouts, pacing at the foot of her sister's bed. Beth doesn't react. She's moved a little at least, curled up onto her side and staring dully at the far wall.
"Rick will bring him back," Lori assures her.
"They should be back already," Patricia mutters, brushing a damp washcloth across Beth's forehead.
"The roads aren't clear as they used to be," Otis hurriedly cuts in. "We just need to be patient. They'll all be back soon enough."
Lori sucks in a sharp breath, then forces herself to smile. "Well, if you think of anything, just let me know. We all want to help any way we can."
She leaves the house with purpose in her steps, casting her gaze across their campground. Daryl set up his tent a short ways off, in the shade of one of the large oaks by the edge of the front yard, nearly on the opposite side of the farmhouse to the rest of them. She jogs over, determined to get something done.
"Hey, Daryl?"
The man in question is sitting outside his tent, running a whetstone over his hunting knife. The soft shick of rock on metal makes her skin crawl. He barely glances at her when she stops beside him.
"Look," Lori sighs, running a hand through her hair. "Beth's in some sort of shock, we need Hershel."
Daryl looks up again, his expression disinterested. "Yeah. So what?"
"So I need you to run into town real quick and bring him and Rick back."
He stops working at the knife and stares at her incredulously. When she folds her arms expectantly, he rolls his eyes.
"Your man and his buddy boy already went into town to fetch Hershel. They ain't back, sending more people out ain't make a lick of sense." He returns his attention to the knife, holding it up and squinting down at the edge.
"How could you be so selfish?" Lori demands. "We need them, Beth—"
Daryl shoots up straight, his expression flashing with anger. "Listen Olive Oyl, I was the only one out there looking for that lost little girl while the rest of y'all played house! I found her, not Rick, Shane, nor Hershel neither. They ain't back by morning, then maybe I'll go take a look. For now, go take your housewife act back where it belongs and stop handing out orders!"
He twists away, shoving his tent open and then wrenching it shut behind him. Lori stands there stunned, her cheeks hot with embarrassment and anger. It takes her several deep breaths before she can turn away, struggling to think past the burning in her eyes.
They need Rick. He shouldn't have left in the first place. Lori told him that he shouldn't go. Shane could go with Glenn. He insisted he had to be there, that he and Hershel had started to gain something of an understanding.
"That Shane ruined!" Lori had shouted, her throat tight with the beginnings of panic. "If he'd just waited to deal with the barn—"
"Look," Rick rubbed a hand over his face, frustration plain in his expression. "I may not agree with the timing, but Shane did something that had to be done. We couldn't have stayed on the farm with the barn like that, it wouldn't be safe for Carl—"
"What makes you think Hershel will let us stay?!" She demanded, tears burning in her eyes. "Should I have just kept the pills down? Do you expect me to have a baby out there, with nothing between us and those things—"
"We need Hershel!" Rick growled. "That's why I have to go get him, because he'll listen to me, we've talked, we have an understanding—"
"You need to be here!" Lori whimpered, clenching her fists. "You promised Carl you wouldn't leave! You said that, and now you're just going out there again!"
"Because I have to!" Rick spun away from her, digging his hands into his hair. "For Christ's sake Lori, we need him for our baby!"
Lori tensed, her throat closing with panic. Our baby.
"Is there anything else?!" When Rick asked that question Lori tried to say the words. Tried to tell him she thought he was dead. That she had been a horrible wife, and when he died she realized she was still in love with him, but it didn't matter anymore. He was gone, and she would never get to tell him how sorry she was, that she didn't mean any of it, that he was the best man she ever met.
She shook her head. She doesn't know why she didn't tell him. Maybe it's the image that still haunts her, when Rick learned of Sophia's death. Hunched forward, gripping his knees and crying out, but before Lori could do anything, Shane was there.
It was Shane holding her husband, pulling him close and muttering into his ear. It was Shane telling Rick he tried his best, he didn't do anything wrong. It wasn't her, it was Shane, Shane who wouldn't listen in the CDC, Shane who told her Rick was dead.
And Rick clung to the man and sobbed while Shane ran his fingers through those perfect curls and told him it would be alright.
She comforted Rick after the funeral, of course. She gave her own words of reassurance, told him he had done everything he possibly could. But seeing them clinging to one another, it struck her that she can't remember the last time she and Rick felt that close, not even after he came back. Some days, it feels like he never came back at all.
She needs Rick. She needs him to come back. She takes a few deep breaths, and heads to the house to find Andrea. She'll ask her to look in on Carl. No one is going to bring her husband back to her. She needs to go fetch him herself.
Preparing dinner keeps Mouse and Carl busy until Carol makes it back to the house. She comes in with red eyes and a freshly washed face, but she's all smiles as she takes the lead in preparing the meal.
By the time supper is ready, it's fully dark out with no sign of Hershel or the men who went after him.
"They should have been back by now," Andrea mutters as she joins those already settled around the table.
Edwin glances at Carl. "I'm sure they just decided to wait for morning to drive home."
"Lori, dinner." Carol calls out, heading towards the staircase that leads to the second floor.
"She's not in there," Maggie says.
"Where is she?" Dale asks.
The silence is telling. Edwin's heart drops. As it drags on, he clears his throat, forcing himself to smile reassuringly at Carl as he asks, "Hey Carl, when was the last time you saw your mom?"
"This afternoon," Carl says uncertainly.
"She was worried about Rick," Andrea pipes up, her eyes widening. "Asked me to look in on Carl."
"She went after them?" Dale's tone is incredulous.
"She didn't say that." Andrea hastens to respond.
Edwin stands up. "I'm sure she just lost track of the time," he says. "Carl, Mouse, stay here and eat something okay? We'll be right back."
They scatter around the property with flashlights, but when they reconvene on the front lawn, there is no sign of Lori. Unfortunately, there is news.
"She asked Daryl to go into town after Rick and the others this afternoon," Carol relays. "Daryl hasn't seen her since."
"My car is missing," Maggie adds. She sounds as irritated as she does worried.
"What do we do?" Andrea demands. "Lori can't be out there alone."
"If any of us go after her," T-Dog cuts in, "we'd be in just as much danger. Right now, five members of this group are off the property, and none of them have come back. We gonna just keep sending people out until there ain't none of us left?"
"Look," Edwin speaks up before panic can spread. "It's dark out, okay? It isn't safe to be on the roads until morning. The moment the sun comes up, we'll go out and find everyone."
"What do we tell Carl?" Andrea asks. "Both of his parents are out there. Even Shane is gone."
Edwin winces. He's been trying not to think about that. If it were Candace out there, he'd go after her, but never if Charlotte or Mouse were here on the farm. He couldn't risk orphaning his child.
"I'll handle it," he insists.
Of course, nothing can ever be simple, because when they re-enter the house, Carl and Mouse are missing. Thankfully, they don't have to look far.
They've just begun to scatter to look when a small figure comes sprinting down the dirt lane that heads towards the main road. Edwin runs to meet her, falling to his knees and gripping Mouse's shoulders as she struggles for breath.
The rest of the group spot them and come running. Within moments, there is a crowd of adults all clamoring to know where Carl is and what's going on. Mouse cowers against his chest, and it's Carol who starts yelling at everyone to back off and give them space.
"Mousey," Edwin strokes her hair, cupping her cheek. "Mousey, do you know where Carl is?"
Wordlessly she points the way she came, still panting for breath. He scrambles to his feet, pushing Mouse towards Carol. "Go inside, and don't let her out of your sight." He takes off at a run, Andrea right on his heels.
They find Carl at the front gate, fumbling with the lock and starting to pull it open.
"Carl!" Andrea yells. "Carl, stop!"
"No!" The boy shouts, his voice choked with suppressed tears. "I'm getting my mom!"
They make it to him before he can slip out. Edwin falls to his knees and pulls him against his chest, ignoring the hands that shove against his shoulders and face, closing his eyes and letting the furious child lash out. Andrea gets the gate closed again and bends over gasping for breath.
"Carl, you can't do that," she chides as she straightens, frowning down at him. "Your mom—"
"She left!" Carl screams, and there's hurt anger, fear, and frustration. "And you're all gonna just leave her—"
"No." Edwin decides, releasing him and straightening up. "No, I'll go."
"Jenner," Andrea warns. "You said it yourself, it's dark out—"
"I won't go wandering," he looks down at Carl, waiting for the boy to meet his eyes. "I can't. It's not safe at night, but I'll drive down to town, see if I can spot them, then come back. If I don't find them tonight, we'll send a bigger group out in the morning. Your parents are coming home, Carl."
Carl sniffles, then nods. He reaches behind himself and pulls out a small gun. Andrea sighs and shakes her head, but the boy holds it out to Edwin.
"I took it, while you were all looking for mom…" Carl admits sheepishly. "I just— She's my mom."
Edwin takes the gun and nods. "I know."
"Don't tell my parents?" Carl pleads.
"No promises," Edwin states firmly. "Andrea, take him up to the house, don't let him out of your sight. I'll take Oti's truck."
"I don't think you should go alone," Andrea insists as they head back to the farm, Carl between them. "I can come—"
"T-Dog is right," Edwin shakes his head. "There's already too many of us off the property. I shouldn't be going, but more than half the people gone are Carl's family." He glances at said boy, then nods to himself. "I'll be careful."
"You better be," she huffs. "If you aren't, I'll hunt you down myself just so I can kick your ass."
By the time Lori crawls her way out of the flipped car and puts down the pair of walkers drawn to the crash, it's well after dark. Her whole body trembles, aches and pains radiating across her back and legs. She takes a few minutes to catch her breath and cry, then squares her shoulders and starts walking.
The cloudless night allows the moon to cast a cold light on the empty road. The rustle of animals in the woods and branches scraping against one another keeps her tense, struggling to listen for the sound of shuffling footsteps. She only wore a thin button up over her undershirt, and the night air is unexpectedly cold. It doesn't take long for her to start shivering.
Rick is going to be furious, and the last thing they need is another fight. Not with the mistakes she made hanging like an axe between them, waiting to fall at any moment.
The rumble of an engine gives her pause, but it's coming from the wrong direction. She stops at the side of the road, her heart sinking when she spots Otis' beat up truck. She doesn't know how long she's been walking, long enough that the wreck is out of sight. She sighs and rubs her forehead, preparing herself to deal with Andrea or T-Dog most likely.
The last person she's expecting to step out from behind the wheel is Jenner. He glares at her as he gets up, leaving his door open and hurrying over with an expression that flickers between disdain and worry.
"Did you hit your head?" He demands, reaching for her. She swats his hand away and steps back.
"I don't need you checking on me," she hisses, turning away and continuing down the road. She's going to reach Rick, and she's going to bring him home. It's the only thing that matters.
She doesn't get far; Jenner catches up to her with ease. "Are you insane?" He grits out. "You've been in a car crash, you need to sit down and stop trying to get yourself killed!"
"Don't act as if you have the moral high ground here!" Lori snaps, spinning back to face him. "At least I didn't put anyone else in danger with my choices!"
Jenner gapes at her, his expression hardening. "Your son," he growls, "stole a gun, and tried to follow you."
Carl. Of course he did. This is why she didn't want Rick encouraging him to mess around with firearms, he isn't ready, and Sophia died because of a hunting accident. Now he's stealing guns, and all Rick wants to do is reward him.
"I'll deal with him," she mutters, sucking in a harsh breath. "But you don't have the right—"
"The right?" Jenner starts laughing. "The only reason I'm out here," he continues, looming over her, "is because if I hadn't come, your son would have done his absolute best to sneak out after you again. Now you are getting in that car and coming back with me because I sure as hell am not going back without you."
"The only way I'm getting in that car," Lori insists. "Is if I'm behind the wheel and we're going to find my husband!"
"Is this a goddamn joke to you?!" Jenner's voice rises to a shout. "Your husband is with two armed men, he can take care of himself! Your son needs you—"
"He needs his father!" Lori screams.
"HE NEEDS EITHER OF HIS PARENTS TO ACT LIKE HE MATTERS!"
Lori recoils, her heart hammering wildly. Jenner freezes, seeming to realize he's gotten right in her face. He steps back quickly, his expression stricken.
Crackling footsteps draw their attention to the woods. Lori brings up her gun, trying to remember how many shots she has left. When the dead man emerges from the trees, his gait unsteady, she takes aim.
"Wait," Jenner says. "Please just, get in the car with me. I promise I'll— I'll just drive down the road a bit. Please."
She hesitates. She doesn't want to, but the gunshots will just draw more. She lowers her gun and hurries to the passenger side, buckling herself in as Jenner takes the wheel.
He keeps his word, driving further down the road until they reach an open field.
As the engine ticks he sighs, rubbing his hand over his face. "I'm sorry for shouting," he says softly. "But I stand by what I said. You need to go back, and you need to focus on your son."
Lori bites her lip, looking away from the man beside her. Her eyes burn, and she hates it. She doesn't know him or like him. A brief uncharitable thought flickers in her head, that it would have been better if it were Mouse shot and Sophia found, and she hates herself the moment it crosses her mind. But if it had been that way then he'd be gone, and Carol wouldn't have lost—
No. It's horrible enough to make her feel sick. She covers her own mouth and shakes her head, struggling to breathe. Why is she like this? Why does she have these thoughts? When she heard Sophia had been shot, for a moment she thought it was just better this way. She wouldn't have to suffer anymore, just like Jacqui.
"I promise I'm not going to start driving without your permission," Jenner's words cut into her thoughts. "But I'd rather not sit here all night, and I'm not taking you into town. I promised Carl I'd do my best to bring you home."
"I—" Lori's words choke off into a sob, and she bites the side of her hand. The sound of rustling is followed by Jenner handing her a hand towel. She covers her face, crying hard into the cloth.
"Look," Jenner's tone is flat as ever. "I know you don't like me but, if you need to talk…" ."
Jenner shakes his head. "I already realized you're pregnant." At the horrified look on Lori's face, he hastens to explain, "I overheard Rick and Shane arguing about going to get Hershel. They said something about a baby, you make the most sense."
She slumps against the car seat, her pulse throbbing behind her eyes. She's so tired. She just wants Rick to stop leaving, to stay safe where she can see him. She lost him once, and it feels like he never came back at all.
Her mouth opens, but before a single word can escape her, she hunches forward, wracked by fresh sobs. She was so lonely. All the mistakes she'd made left to fester, damning her with a dead husband she'd never get to apologize to, a man she realized she still loved too late.
Rather than push her to share or interrupt her cries, they sit there together, Lori sobbing her heart out, and Jenner patiently waiting. By the time she can breathe, she's so tired she can hardly keep her eyes open. Jenner offers her another washcloth, this one dampened by water poured from the bottle sitting between them.
"Please come back," His voice is gentle, not demanding like before. "Carl needs you. He needs both of his parents, but if he can't have both, he needs at least one."
It takes time for Lori to nod. As Jenner starts the car up, she slumps in her seat, watching the countryside fly by with tears dripping down her cheeks.
END NOTE: Had a lot of fun writing Lori's POV, which I wasn't expecting. Hope you are all hanging in there, and would love to hear any thoughts folks had. As always, any and all comments are welcome including politely worded critique!