What could possibly go wrong? Turns out that on Virmire everything. They found the salarian group the council was talking about but that was the only positive news of the day. The Virmire was important for Saren because he build here krogan cloning center. Of course, the fact that salarians, led by captain Kirrahe, wanted to destroy it was a big problem for Wrex. Luckily for everyone, Shepard managed to calm him down without any unnecessary bloodshed.

Once that was settled the salarian captain asked for one of her squadmates to help them. She automatically picked Ash, not even thinking about it. She knew that no matter what the chief will get the job done, plus their interaction at the mess hall today made her pretty sure she really can be trusted around aliens.

In the middle of the facility, they found another prothean beacon, and then Shepard got to talk to Saren's ship or better yet: an actual reaper. And right after that, everything went to hell. Kirahe's squad got under fire so they were forced to leave Kaidan behind so he could settle the bomb to destroy the facility. The squad was halfway towards meeting Ashley when Kaidan radioed in that he was under heavy fire.

She was unable to help both. She knew it and they knew it as well. Both of her human squadmates argued to make Shepard go help the other but none of that had any impact on her decision. "Williams, we are going to get you. Make sure they don't get to the bomb Alenko!" She said, clearly in her commander persona as she, Liara, and Wrex started making their way towards the salarian team.

"I'm sorry Kaidan." She said honestly and quietly. It was obvious this call hurt her a lot.

"I understand…Chloe."

Kaidan's words made the commander chuckle a bit humorlessly. "Now you learn it huh?"

One fight with Saren and a bomb explosion later Shepard was sitting in her quarters on her bed with her head in her hands, unable even to move. She missed Kaidan already. It wasn't like she ran to him every breathing minute just to talk, not at all but it was just weird to see his spot abandoned. She never even asked what he was doing at that console. He always seemed so tired after standing there…

She was taken out of her mind by a hand on her knee, only to see Traynor sitting next to her and looking at her worriedly. "I-I knocked…but you weren't answering. Not even after I called your name 3 times…" She suddenly blushed and pulled her hand away. "I just thought that maybe I can drag you to eat something. It's a long way to the citadel…"

Shepard shook her head. "I'm not hungry but thanks."

Traynor was quiet for a moment, refusing to leave Chloe alone. "It's not your fault you know? There was no good choice…" She said honestly.

The commander sighed deeply. "My squad is my responsibility, you are ALL my responsibility. And it's my responsibility to bring everyone back…"

Samantha sighed as well at her words. "He knew what was at stake…He did it to make sure we can win against Saren…"

Shepard looked at her for a few moments, staying quiet so Sam continued. "You know I called off the beer at Citadel and instead we are holding a memorial for him in the mess hall. Just the squad and well, me…" Her hand went back to Shepard's knee as she gently squeezed in support. "it would be great to see you there too…" She released the knee and got up, looking like she wanted to leave. What stopped her was the commander's hand holding her arm and looking at her with something close to pleading eyes as she spoke quietly. "Can you stay a bit longer?" She sounded more like a little scared girl than the commander everyone usually got to see.

Instead of an answer, Samantha sat back down and once her arm got released her hand found its way back to the commander's knee, squeezing it once more.

There was one more thing on Shepard's mind, it took a few long minutes before she very quietly voiced it. "Sacrifice the few to save the many…" After one confused look from Sam, she explained. "I picked Ashley only because it meant saving Kirahe and his men as well…" She spoke very quietly, ashamed of herself. "One life, even if it was a good friend to save multiple…" She counted Ashley as a friend too but if she would base it only on sympathies Kaidan would be alive and well right now.

Traynor watched her for a few moments before her arms wrapped around the commander, she didn't say anything just kept holding the other woman.

Neither of them spoke after that. Sam didn't know what to say and the commander was glad to be stuck in her head but not alone. Samantha's presence for her was very calming which was helping a lot right now.

They just kept sitting next to each other, Sam holding the commander and refusing to release her until they heard a commotion from the mess hall.

It made Sam look at the commander. "Let's go? It must be the rest of the crew."

The commander nodded, got up, and squared her shoulders.

The specialist immediately shook her head as she got up as well. "Nononono…." After one questioning look at her she continued. "The commander won't do…" A soft teasing smirk made its way onto her face. "When we are not on a mission it's 'Chloe', remember?"

The commander huffed out a little chuckle. "Suddenly you all seem to remember…" She looked at the woman opposite of her and just for a tiny second she got lost in her eyes. It was becoming increasingly difficult to say no to her same as to Liara and Tali. This fact confused her a lot but she decided to keep this thought for some other day. "Alright…just Chloe." She said with a nod and relaxed her shoulders. "Let's go…"

They walked to the mess hall only to see Garrus holding two bottles of some liquid.

Chloe raised a brow in amusement as she same as Sam sat down at the table. "Did you bring turian alcohol on Normandy?"

Garrus shrugged and opened one bottle to pour some to himself and some to Tali. "I knew you guys will be short on turian liquor so I decided to bring my own"

That made Wrex grin proudly at the turian as he patted his back, actually a bit too strong so Garrus stumbled and spilled some of the alcohol over the table. "I might start liking you Vakarian!" He said while raising his own bottle which was obviously Ryncol, and taking a swing of it.

"Now you should rather not look, Chloe…" Ashley said before pulling two six-packs of human beer.

"Where did you even manage to hide that?" The commander asked while Williams handed the beers to the humans and asari.

The chief just shrugged with a little knowing smirk. "There was one free bunk bed…"

This made the commander chuckle, maybe being around people was better than brooding alone. "Well…better than putting on it your dirty socks I guess…"

As the two humans talked Liara opened the beer and took a sip. Her face immediately morphed into disgust and she choked on the liquid.

Wrex laughed loudly. "Awww! Kid's first drink! You're growing up T'Soni!"

It made everyone around the table cackle while Tali rubbed Liara's back, trying to make her calm down.

"How can you guys drink it?" She asked as she saw Shepard drink half of the can in one go. "It's disgusting."

The commander shrugged. "You just don't have the fine pallet humans do…" She tried to sound nonchalant and snobby but in the end, she chuckled. "Nah…you just get used to it…"

Liara looked at the beer suspiciously after hearing the commander's words and she took another, way more careful sip, trying to find at least something good in this human drink.

Tali in the meantime pulled a straw from one of her many pockets and put it into the drink Garrus poured her.

Ashley watched her with amusement. "Don't you also want a cocktail umbrella into it?"

Tali blinked a few times behind her visor. "Co-cocktail umbrella?" She asked in confusion, never heard about anything like that.

Samantha immediately looked for images on the extranet on her Omnitool and showed them to Tali which didn't really clear Tali's confusion that much. "Oh?...why would I need that?"

Shepard shrugged. "It's mostly for decoration…and when you're drunk as hell you put it behind your ear…"

Liara raised her brow and looked at the commander. "Did that happen to you?" Samantha and Ashley had the same curious look on her face but the humans were also smirking a bit.

"No…" Shepard blushed just the tiniest bit at her next words. "...I had one behind EACH ear…"

Ashley laughed. "Well, I'll drink to that!" And with that, she took a swing of her own beer.

Tali watched them with amusement as she herself took a sip of the turian drink through her straw. She watched Garrus get up and go to the console Kaiden always stood at. She soon got up as well and followed after the turian.

As the commander saw Ashley taking a big swing of her beer she quickly finished hers, suddenly remembering the bet she had with Kaidan. It made her obviously sad so much that it made Liara speak: "You know, the drinking at Citadel was actually Kaidan's idea…He told me that he just wanted us all to relax and unwind…"

Everyone around the table fell quiet after that, each of them just sipping at their drink and Shepard opening her second and third. She was going through them quite fast.

The silence lasted for a few minutes when suddenly Garrus yelled, surprising everyone: "THE BASTARD WAS PLAYING MARIO THE WHOLE TIME!" He pointed at the console he and Tali were standing at and really there was a starting screen of Mario Kart.

All the eyes fell to the console before Liara tilted her head. "Who or what is Mario?"

Garrus looked at her and gasped dramatically. "Just the best human game of all time!"

Tali smirked behind her visor and looked at the turian. "You're a nerd. I should have known!"

Garrus mandibles moved in amusement. "I'm also the best in Mario so if anyone…"

Shepard interrupted him after drowning her fourth drink already and slamming the empty can on the table. "I propose a Mario Kart tournament!"

Ashley raised a brow at her. "Are we seriously gonna play Mario Kart now?"

Chloe opened another beer and nodded. "My ship my rules!" She looked at Liara. "First, miss asari, we are teaching you how to play!" She took Liara's hand, keeping the beer in the other, and dragged her to the console. After she pushed Garrus aside she explained the controls and goals of the game. She was pretty excited about this and she was already slightly tipsy as she didn't eat anything after Virmire so the two were standing pretty close.

Commander's front was pushed to Liara's back and her head was softly resting on asari's shoulder as she tried to explain everything. Human hands were softly grazing the other girl's hands in an attempt to position them right on the keyboard. Drunk Chloe was also apparently quite a handsy Chloe. She enjoyed the smooth asari's skin under her fingertips way too much.

To be honest, Liara didn't mind at all even though she softly blushed at the closeness.

On the other hand, Tali quickly looked away, feeling quite sad and not understanding why.

Traynor watched them with an unreadable expression, thinking deeply.

Wrex was just sipping his ryncol not really caring about anything besides that.

Once Shepard was sure Liara knows what to do she looked around the crew. "Alright, guys time to play!" She said excitedly while she once again took a sip of her beer.