AUTHOR'S NOTES: the continuation of Trails of Tempered Steel as we go through the events of ToCS2 with a Rean that is way more messed up emotionally. Part 2 will feature more violence in certain moments (blood, dismemberment, death, etc) because, you know, war, and explicit sex will be a thing in the future as well, though not as prevalent of course. The point of these is not edgyness, they are simply a natural evolution of the story, and here's your fair warning if those things turn you off.

With all of that said, I hope you enjoy the ride.

Rean Schwarzer kicked and screamed inside the cockpit of Valimar, the Ashen Divine Knight, as the gigantic doll flew across the skies of Erebonia. Against Rean's own will, they were fleeing from a lost fight against Crow Armbrust, his (former) best friend, and his own Divine Knight, while leaving his friends and girlfriend (who he had just started dating) behind to fend for themselves as what promised to be a civil war for the control of their country was about to start.

So he was pretty miffed, all things considered.

"Turn around right now or I'll snap this thing's neck!" With crushing strength he held Celine, the cat familiar of his classmate Emma Millstein, by the throat. Rean's eyes were starting to turn red and his voice acquired a deeper, darker tone to it as he was starting to summon his ogre power, a thing that plagued him his entire life but right now was the least of his worries.

"Enough! SOMNIUM!" Celine's eyes glowed and suddenly Rean let go of her, his head dipping as he was put to slumber by her magic. The feline coughed and wheezed and rubbed a paw against her sore throat, one third scared and two thirds immensely pissed off. Out of every person in that school, he had to be the Awakener and she had to be the one strapped to him for the foreseeable future.

"I should've stayed at the village."

Rean found himself in a white, endless void, surrounded by a desolation of pure nothingness where any notion of space was thrown out the window. Paradoxically, he also felt he was encircled by crushing walls while at the same time floating mindlessly in a blank world. Time didn't exist either. Was he there for a couple of hours? Months? His entire life? It didn't matter, it wasn't like he could feel anything, and as such was better than what waited him outside.

"Hey!"

A voice called his attention. Rean turned around (or did space turn around him?) and was faced with a twisted reflection of himself. Long white hair ending on gray tips that went past his shoulder, irises of fire surrounded by black sclera with two yellow slits for pupils that more resembled a reptile's. Complementing the ghastly look were blackened scars around his eyes.

"Oh, it's you," Rean replied, uncaring to the figure. He had seen it before, he saw it every time he had to visualize the use of his power, every time he had to free the ogre from its cell.

"'Course it's me, who else would it be? What are you doing?"

"Dying I guess."

A slap cut across his cheek. "Don't be a dipshit. What. Are. You. Doing?" The words punctuated by a finger jabbing at his chest.

Rean didn't reply, just tried to turn his gaze away.

"Feeling sorry for yourself, what else is new, right? His friends are all dead but here's Rean Schwarzer feeling sad because he was too weak!"

"You don't know that!"

"And you know who's responsible for that?" Ignoring that protest the ogre continued with a voice that slithered across Rean's skin. "The traitor!"

Rean choked, bile forming in his mouth, if that was even possible where he was. "Crow, he…"

"He betrayed you! You, your friends, everyone! He slithered his way into your life and pretended to be your friend, pretended to care and to help you, all the while he was plotting with his terrorist buddies how they would put you down!"

Rean balled his fists and grit his teeth, feeling the words get to him.

"You had it! You had finally found something that made you happy. Life was good! Finally a break! But then came in Crow Armbrust with his terrorists and witch and nobles, nobles which I might add are the reason your parents' lives suck, and ruined it all!"

"Even if Crow hadn't… The nobles were arming themselves, those soldats would have attacked anyway."

"But that just makes it worse, doesn't it?" The figure moved behind Rean snake-like, his dark voice dark whispering into his ear, worming its way into his mind. "From the first moment he saw you he knew how it would end. Crow could've ignored you, he could've stayed away but no, he purposely pretended to be your friend and for what? Probably to make it easier to take you down later just like how it happened."

The ogre's tone was dismissive, as if it was all obvious and it just made Rean angrier. His hands trembled and nails dug into his palms until they bled while ragged breaths came out of his clenched teeth as bloodshot eyes focused on everything from the past months, all the so-called good times with his friend. All a lie, all fake.

"Now he is out there doing Aidios knows what to Laura and the rest of your friends. Not only that, Heimdallr is a war zone, what about Elise? And what about mom and dad? What if they bring those things to Ymir looking for you?"

Fear and anger gripped his heart like a vice at that realization. If Crow and his soldats showed up in Ymir looking for him and his Divine Knight everything that happened would be his fault. Like every other bad thing that happened to his family.

"But you can still save it, all is not lost. All you have to do is go out there and fight!" The ogre shouted, his voice frenzied, looking to instigate Rean onwards. "Make them pay! The Noble Alliance, the terrorists… Crow. Take charge of your life again and you can get everything back. Seize what is yours!"

"B-but how? I don't… I don't know what to do anymore, this whole time I was just lying, I was just mirroring Crow and now everything is going wrong and I can't be that person anymore and-"

"Who cares!?" The ogre grabbed Rean by the shoulders and shook him, locking his lizard-like gaze with him. "Who cares if you were lying, who cares if you faked your way through life these past months and pretended to be someone you're not, it worked, didn't it? You liked being that way, you got respect from others, you got the girl, you found purpose! You think you'd have all that if you kept being the loser you were before? The worthless doormat that burdens everyone around him? Fuck no! So go out there, make this your moment to shine, and don't let anyone get in your way."

Rean woke up with a start, cold sweat permeating his skin as he tried to make sense of reality again. He had no idea where he was, how much time had passed or even if he was actually alive. Turning to his side he felt his face rub against the dirt, grit scratching his cheek. Every muscle in his body hurt and he felt like vomiting even with a completely empty stomach.

He turned on his back and put his arm over his face to block the sunlight that seemed to cut through his eyelids. He needed to concentrate and center himself, to get his bearings little by little. First things first, his breathing was all over the place, he had to fix that.

Breathe in… Breathe out…

It took him much longer than he expected, around four minutes until his respiratory system went back to normal, and his heart rate along with it. He became aware of how cold the air was as it passed through his nostrils and entered his lungs. Cold, crisp and clean, it felt pure and awakened a feeling of nostalgia in him.

Next was his auditory senses. Rean focused on what he could hear from his environment and for a small fraction of a second he panicked, thinking he had gone deaf as he could hear nothing, but then he picked on the sound of what seemed like a pebble rolling down a hill. He calmed down again and paid close attention. Scraping his boots against the ground, he heard the sound of the dirt and grit move and off in the distance he could hear the sound of wind passing through the mountains.

Mountains?

He dug his fingers into the soil, rough and hard, and he could recognize it by touch alone; he had spent months there getting thrown into the ground and getting back up, just to be put down again by Master Yun Ka-fai.

Slowly, Rean opened his eyes to blue skies. He turned himself around and needed all of his strength just to get on his knees, his muscles feeling atrophied.

How long was I out?

He looked ahead and took in the sight of endless mountains surrounding him, peaks and valleys stretching as far as the eye could see. The Eisengard Range.

Suppressing the urge to scream, Rean looked back and saw his Knight, Valimar he had to remind himself that's what it was called, leaning against a wall of rocks. Arms and legs seeming limp, it was almost like the artificial giant had passed out.

Pulling himself up, Rean almost fell back again but managed to take his first steps towards the Knight, wobbly legs and all. Leaning against Valimar's foot, he looked up to its face, searching for a reaction but the Knight was unperturbed.

"Hey… Hey!" Rean slammed his fist against its armor. "Hey, wake up! We gotta go back! Are you listening to me, take me ba-"

"For the love of Aidios, shut up!"

Startled, Rean turned around in search of the voice and fell on his ass. He looked up and down, left and right, and couldn't find the owner of the voice, his answer coming from right behind him, sitting on top of Valimar's shoulder.

"Finally you woke up, I was getting tired of waiting," said Celine, sounding absolutely exasperated.

Right, Celine, Emma's talking cat. Yeah, witches and magic and… "Ugh, my head."

"I'm surprised there is anything inside there for it to hurt."

"Shut up, we gotta go back," Rean said, getting himself up again.

"Back to where? Trista?"

"Where else?"

"How long do you think you've been out?" He replied with a blank stare. "It's been over a month since Valimar pulled your butt out of that fight and I put you to sleep so you wouldn't frigging kill me and then you went out due to the stress caused by your synchronization with him. Whatever happened after we left is already over by now."

"A MONTH?" Rean almost felt like fainting again. "What happened to everybody else? Are they alive? What's…" He started to hyperventilate, all the internal harmony he gathered previously vanishing.

"I have a connection to Emma and I would know if something happened to her. She's fine and considering how tough your friends are they are probably okay as well. Especially the Arseid girl if that's what concerns you the most."

Taking heed to Celine's words, Rean calmed down, desperation wouldn't fix anything. If something did happen to them, well, there was only one answer to that, but before that he needed to get his bearings first. "A month, how am I even alive? Did you… Did you feed me?" He threw a look at Celine that could only be described as curious disgust.

"Yes, I hunted down small birds, chewed their meat and fed it directly into your mouth," the familiar replied sarcastically but Rean must've still been pretty out of it because his face turned green for a moment. "I'm kidding! Valimar used his mana to keep you alive, the little mana he had after we escaped I might add. I did hunt down birds for myself, if you care."

He didn't. "So what happens now?"

"Valimar needs to recharge his mana back, so it could be still a day or two before he's back on his feet. He suffered a lot of damage, so it will be a while until he can move again."

Celine nodded her head towards the gash on Valimar's left shoulder and the sight made Rean shudder and hold his correspondent limb. The pain felt incredibly real at the time, like his own arm was being ripped apart and he understood exactly what Instructor Sara had felt during the fight against Loa Erebonius.

"What, were you thinking of getting inside him and going to fight right now? You can barely stand up by yourself."

Rean looked down to his trembling legs and hands and knew she was right. But then, what other choice did he have? "Why are we here?"

"Beats me, Valimar chose it."

The Eisengard Range, home or at least close to it. If only he could see the stars to be sure… But he couldn't wait for a clear night sky or for Valimar to recharge. Rean saw his sword near the Knight's feet and reached for it. Touching his weapon and seeing the reflection of its blade helped a little, like getting a part of himself back from the hellish nightmare he went through.

After sheathing the tachi back into its scabbard (the one Laura gave him), Rean settled it on his belt and checked his ARCUS unit, which was out of energy but he was lucky to still have an EP capsule in his pocket. He stretched his body, feeling the pain as his stiff muscles returned to activity from their slumber.

A month… The Divine Knight brought me here, could it be because it knows it's my home?

"I'm going."

"Where? Can you even walk?" Celine threw a doubtful look at him.

"I'll manage. We need to climb down this mountain and find somewhere to stay. If I'm right we're near Ymir, my home. So I'm going, if you'd rather stay here with it," he tilted his head to the sleeping Knight. "Be my guest."

Obviously Celine was of the mind of moving as well, in fact, she thought she would have to kick the Awakener into action instead. Well, at least that made things slightly easier.

The duo went down a path that they hoped would lead them away from the mountain, maybe to a location Rean was more familiar with. He questioned her if it was okay to leave Valimar alone but it's not like there was much else they could do. The trek down the mountain was tricky and Rean's physical state meant he had to be very careful and move slowly lest he lose balance, fall and hurt himself.

As difficult as it was he tried to get his mind off what might have happened to the others as there was little he could do for them at the moment.

"I shall be your sword and protect our friends while you recover your strength. This blade will not be broken until it returns to your side."

Laura's words made his lips curl up. What an amazing girl. She was stronger than he was, of course she would be okay, and with Fie and Instructor Sara and everyone else, they were obviously able to escape and be okay. That was the kind of thought he had to keep repeating to himself in the hopes his mind would internalize it and maybe he would start believing it.

They came across a drop that measured almost 4 arges and Rean had to carefully lower himself to lessen the fall, but then when he hit the ground his legs gave out and he rolled down the short inclination on the terrain.

"Shit!"

"Can you still move?"

Pushing through the pain, Rean got up and continued on moving forward. He looked at Celine and could swear he saw a hint of concern in her face, but the feline quickly hid it with an expression of indifference before turning her gaze elsewhere. "Yeah, I can keep going."

He started to recognize some of the scenery, he had passed by there with Master Yun Ka-fai before, that meant they would be relatively close to Ymir. It should be a few more hours of trekking but considering his state more like a day. It didn't matter, he would keep going.

As they walked Rean and Celine exchanged a few glances between each other and somehow he could tell she was incredibly angry at him. Why is she… Oh.

Rean stopped walking. "I owe you an apology, Celine. I'm sorry."

She paused her movements as well and glared at him through narrowed eyes. "Sorry about…?"

He sighed, damn cat would make him say it, not that he didn't agree but it was still awkward. "I'm sorry about threatening to kill you back when we were escaping. I shouldn't have done that, it wasn't your fault."

"What else?"

What are you, my mom? Rean pitched the bridge of his nose. "And I'm sorry for how I treated you and Emma back at school and threatening to expose you. I was confused and scared and didn't fully understand how big this thing is, honestly I still don't. If I knew this would happen I'd have acted differently."

Laura wouldn't have hesitated like I did.

Celine regarded him for a moment, eyes scrutinizing Rean's demeanor and the look in his eyes, before her face turning to an indecipherable expression that he supposed meant his apology was acceptable. Now on top of everything else, he had to learn to read a cat's facial expressions. Great.

"The only reason Emma chose to tell you about the Divine Knights back then was because of Vita. We thought she was planning on getting her hands on Valimar first, so we had to be faster. How could we possibly have known she already had the Azure Knight and its Awakener?"

Memories of the fight flashed in his mind. The euphoria at beating Scarlet and her panzer soldat and the feeling of power within him followed by the shattering of everything he knew about the person he thought was his best friend. It made his blood boil something fierce and Rean had to concentrate to not lose himself to that emotion at the moment as Celine was still talking.

"I said I expect you'll properly apologize to Emma as well once we meet her," the cat intoned.

"Of course," he truly planned to but was starting to get cross with being talked to like that. Whatever, he wasn't there to be friends with the magical animal.

The journey was rough, mostly due to Rean's physical state but thankfully it wasn't snowing. He couldn't deny that being near his home made him feel somewhat reinvigorated, not that it staved off fatigue, hunger or thirst.

"Do you need a break?" Celine asked at some point, looking at his slightly pale complexion.

"No," whether Rean was driven by determination or stubbornness was anyone's guess.

Hours passed and the sun would start to set soon. Having lived there enough, Rean could tell the chances of snow were high, if not during the night then earlier in the morning, and with no shelter there would be problems. They even lost time fighting off some monsters on the way, some birds that normally wouldn't give Rean much trouble but he was on his last legs and his Arts did most of the work. Thankfully, Celine knew a spell or two to help him out during a fight, though there was no "adrenaline shot" magic that she knew of to help him.

It was then, as Rean looked around in search of shelter, that a different noise drew his attention: a dog's bark. Celine hissed and jumped, her fur standing up on her back ready for danger, while Rean looked around for the source of the noise. Coming up from a slope, the barking got louder and louder until the creature came into view and revealed itself as a large dog with thick gray fur, wiggling its tail with delight.

Slightly shocked, Rean was defenseless as the dog pounced at him, making him fall on his back. "Badeux?" The raven haired boy laughed as his face was licked by the energetic animal. Celine couldn't make head or tails of the situation, she almost set the dog on fire at first. "Haha, what are you doing here, boy?"

"Badeux!"

A male voice called out from the same direction the dog had come from and Rean gasped. Badeux the dog stopped covering Rean's face with saliva and started to bark and pace around him enthusiastically while Rean lifted himself up with an expression of disbelief.

"Badeux, what did you-" Coming up the slope was a middle-aged man with dirty blond hair with a hunting rifle in his hands. At first confused, his face turned to surprise and joy as soon as Rean dashed towards him with a hug that almost toppled him.

"Dad!"

"Rean! Oh thank the goddess, you are safe!" Teo Schwarzer hugged his son tightly, offering Aidios a prayer for bringing his son back to him. One month since that whole mess had started, one month without knowing what had happened to Rean, living off of rumors about what had transpired over at the town of Trista, but finally his boy was back home.

The joyful occasion was short lived however as Rean's body went limp on his father's arms soon after.