I said I was not going to write a new story, but this idea has been in my head for over six months and I could not resist. Let me know if I should continue and if you all would be interested.

Until Next time ,

Muse

This wasn't how she wanted to start her day. Locked in the presidential bathroom, hiding from no one and everyone at the same time.

He wasn't looking for her, not anymore. He had her exactly where he wanted her and that is to be locked inside his castle so she may never leave.

The cool porcelain title on her clammy skin soothes her, with her face pressed to the flooring she lays on the ground, and contemplates how she managed to end up here.

She can admit that her self-destructive tendencies forced her to reevaluate her life choices, and theirs singularly as a couple. When she unleashed her father from prison she knew she was opening pandora's box, but why? And for what? She ponders this question nearly daily, why does she always feel compelled to be everyone's savior but her own?

Loving Fitz has always been easy, despite her attempts to evade and push him away, her heart longs and yearns for him in ways that no one could comprehend, that even she too finds herself a spectator in their all so consuming love. Loving Fitz was easy, but loving herself with him proves to be more challenging.

She hides in the bathroom, her oasis. Ironic that she finds herself living in a mansion yet she's drowning in her self wallow and pity at the suffocating walls closing in on her. The bathroom is the one place in this mansion where she has privacy, the one place where she can breathe. He won't look for her because he stopped seeing her as a singular person but as an extension of him.

She rubs her head exasperated at the thought of having to perform once again, tonight they were having a small gathering with the senior Republican congressman to push a spending bill Fitz wanted.

She remembers her suggestion falling on deaf ears.

"Fitz, why don't you have both house and senate majority and minority leaders here, bipartisan is not dead."

Fitz was too busy taking off his cufflinks and clothes to hear Olivia.

"Fitz, do you hear me?"

"What?" he asked turning around to look at Olivia "I'm sorry I wasn't paying attention."

Olivia shrugs "yeah you've been doing that a lot lately."

He sighs heavily at the nagging "please don't start a fight with me today. I wasn't paying attention. I'm sorry."

"Forget it, Fitz." Olivia reached inside her drawer grabbing her pajamas.

He grabs her hand before she could run into the bathroom " Don't run. I'm sorry. What did you want to ask me?"

Olivia shakes her head "nothing."

"Olivia" he begs

But it was too late, she walked into the bathroom and refused to speak to him until the next day.

/

"Miss Pope?" a voice calls for her outside the bathroom door.

Olivia jumps at the intrusion "yes?"

"Hi. President Grant wanted me to help you with your wardrobe for tonight and the dinner menu." The voice says to Olivia through the closed door.

Olivia breathes, there is no telling how long that women had been waiting outside her bathroom for her to come out.

Dejected, Olivia rises from the floor. Her head shaking with anger at Fitz once again placing her under the first lady category. She was the fiercest person in any room, her opinion mattered, her life mattered. Now, Olivia finds herself being forced into a bracket she didn't choose.

"Miss Pope?" The aide asked checking to see if Olivia was okay.

"Of course!" Olivia smiles through the mirror. "I'll be right out."

/

She missed dinner.

It wasn't by choice, but ensuring her safety meant having to wait until the clinic closed and a majority of the staff were gone for the day.

But even then, she still waited in the SUV. For what? She's not entirely sure. Perhaps a divine intervention to tell her that she was about to make one of the biggest mistakes of her life, but the sign never came.

Walking into the clinic covered in the darkness she sits in the cold, sterile waiting room and watches Mellie make history.

This was her sign that the choice she was about to make was the right one. She never liked Mellie, she always thinks of her as being a pretentious woman who is always willing to do whatever it takes to succeed, a woman who stayed with a man that didn't love her, for the benefit of her image. But as Olivia began walking in Mellie's pointed heels she began to understand her strife and struggles.

It's not easy living in the shadow of the man you made. Being subjected to stereotypical rules and roles society forces a woman to be. Her accomplishments are irrelevant now, but what is relevant is the designer she's going to wear and what her favorite book is currently.

Yes, she's mad at Fitz. He's turned her into someone public, someone that people look up to, her work has always been private, she preferred staying in the background but now she is front and center and while there were many setbacks to living in the White House there are also advantages, and the biggest one being the young girls who looked up to her as being someone worthy, their very own royal princess.

They call her name and she follows them into the back of the clinic. The nurses drop a pink worn gown on the bed and close's the door. Without saying a word Olivia begins sliding her jacket off followed by her shirt, her pants, and her underwear.

She's completely alone and exposed.

She looks at herself in the mirror, she can see the tiniest bulge of life growing inside her, but she can't look herself in the eye.

How can she?

She was setting fire to the dream she thought was possible. To the future, she thought she wanted, to the man she wanted to be with.

She's a coward.

She can admit that.

With a knock on the door, Olivia follows the nurse to the procedure room.

/

She walks gently into the west wing, sore from earlier.

Her eyes spot Fitz sitting on the couch, angry, perturbed by her absences. Like a match, his ocean eyes connect to hers instantly and Olivia shivers at his calloused stare. She walks past him and avoids his heated gaze.

"Olivia." He stands up "wherein the hell were you?"

Olivia fumbles by looking around the room for something, anything "I'm sorry……I tried to make it…" she fumbles with her purse.

"Don't lie to me!" He cuts her off.

The brutality of his voice scared her for a second, not that she feared him physically hurting her, but his words. The richness of his baritone voice that she found so irrevocably soothing can also be haunting, his words were going to inflict her with more pain than she already has.

She runs to the bathroom in dire need of the gift Mellie gave her, she stumbles from drawer to drawer as he watches her with confusion. The doctor told her she should refrain from drinking and heavy lifting but with her current situation, alcohol is essential.

She finds the bottle and her body sighs with relief.

She opens the jar of moonshine as she walks to their bedroom and away from him.

"Olivia!" Fitz yells perplexed by her actions and lack of remorse.

"I didn't want to go!" Olivia yells back finally, and for the first time since moving in she feels something, she feels alive, she feels seen, heard.

"Where the hell were you?"

Olivia breathes in the comfort that the secret service didn't disclose her information. They were sworn to secrecy and her medical information is strictly confidential but still, her heart bleeds at the thought of him knowing where she was and what she did.

"I didn't think it would take that long..."

"Do not lie to me!" Fitz yells. It seems the only way Olivia could hear him was when he raised his voice. He thought he was being patient, and damn did he try to be understanding...but Olivia...makes it so damn difficult.

"I don't know what you want me to say?" Olivia offered, she doesn't want to fight. Not right now.

"I want you to say that you are running." Fitz walks the tiniest bit closer to her "that is what I want you to admit." Fitz answers.

But Olivia remains silent, how can she admit the truth when she won't even admit it to herself.

"It's doesn't matter…" Fitz shakes his head as he walks away from Olivia "all that matters is that you weren't there!"

"And you haven't been there!" Olivia spat charging towards Fitz with her repressed anger. "You having me sitting in the corner with the wives, while you sit and be a big dog, well guess what; I am a big dog too!"

"I never denied you the ability to be whoever you wanted to be."

"Oh is that what you are telling yourself, Fitz? Please" Olivia shouts "the second you trapped me in here you have been forcing me into an image and perception you want me to be! A housewife! When in the hell have I ever made a menu, or cooked or did any of the things you made Mellie do?"

"I was trying to show the world that you are more than a girlfriend to me." Fitz answers dejectedly as he walks away " I should have known better when I moved you in and tried to give us a real shot."

"You mean when you moved me in here and treated me like I was some kind of hostage?" Olivia snaps.

Fitz is flabbergasted, to say the least. Every time he tried to preserve them, Olivia lit a match and slaughtered them before he had a chance, before they had a chance. All he ever wanted was for them to be together, to have a real relationship. But that was asking too much of her.

"Is that honestly what you think?" Fitz asked shocked and hurt that Olivia would think so low of him

" That all this is some kind of sick, twisted punishment? Yes, I do." She doesn't think that, not entirely. She knows Fitz's character, he is empathetic, idealist, and romantic. When her anger subsides and she recalls their fight and their words, she knows his intentions were good, but it was the execution that failed.

"' Punishment?" Fitz asked again

"For my father." Olivia crosses her arms defiantly.

"This has nothing to do with…"

Olivia cuts Fitz off "It has everything to do with him. I get my father released, I try to help you, I tried to save you…"

Fitz shakes his head laughing at Olivia's pretentiousness "of course! You can be everyone's savior but God forbid you actually need to be saved right?" he stands directly in front of Olivia "Oh, let's not pretend you did that for me, Olivia. That was for you. You did that so you wouldn't have to marry me."

Olivia steps back from him, burned by the fire of his words. Does he think that little of her? Olivia can admit that she tries to fix things before they are broken, and while saving her father was as much for her as it was for him. All of her sacrifices and pain are due to loving and trying to save this man. This man; that does not realize what she has consistently given up.

"This complex of yours has to stop? You can't save anyone when you can't even save yourself." Fitz reminds Olivia.

Her hand stings slightly at the contact of hitting Fitz's face. It shouldn't have felt that good but it does, it felt good to unleash some of her anger onto him, after all, he is the reason for all of her problems.

Being out as the President's mistress, losing credibility among her peers, her kidnapping, her father re-entering her life, her abortion, all of her pain is connected to this one man, for loving this man.

No, she shouldn't have slapped him, but damn did it feel good.

"Your father's involvement is your own doing not mine. Just admit that you didn't want to marry me. Be honest for once in your life." He answers; him to sparing with Olivia in his own way.

Olivia laughs dejectedly "What was worse for you, Fitz? When I let my father go, or when I asked you not to kill him? Do I owe you now, Fitz? Do I get to show how worthy I am of your sacrifices now, Fitz? Do I get to talk to wives at cocktail parties for you? Trade recipes for you? Plan dinners for you? Live in this cage for you, and not breathe for you?! Tell me, what must I do to prove I am forever indebted to you for saving my father's life?!"

There it was. The fire that she was trying so hard to bury, ignited. Since moving into the white house, she felt suffocated, unseen, unheard, but atlas he sees her clearly, and she sees him.

All that is heard in the large room is their labored breathing as Olivia and Fitz break each other's hearts.

Memories flash before their eyes of the life and memories they thought they would have.

"How dare you try and make yourself the victim. Your father murdered my child because I fell in love with his daughter! And you stand there and act as if I did this to you!" Fitz shouts with such anger that chills form around Olivia's forearms as she tries and warms them. She places the moonshine on the table and stares at Fitz despondently.

He's right.

She did this to them, but her pride won't let her admit that she was wrong.

"Olivia…"

"My point exactly! Because you are the bigger person I have to be of service to you! Be your housewife! Your girlfriend? Your property?"

He's stunned. Truly. Shocked by the words coming out of her mouth, the hateful rhetoric she uses to make herself feel better.

Olivia sees the look of contempt on Fitz's face "You stand there, and you think about what I have been doing… and about everything I have ever told you… and you tell me who wouldn't run." Olivia offers her reasoning, yes it's beneath her and petty but at this moment she wants him to hurt, to hurt as much as she does.

"Try to understand what I am telling you. Moving you in here, asking you to go all-in on us…"

Olivia cuts him off "Oh, who is lying to who here, Fitz? You asked me? When did you ask me?"

Fitz refuses to take Olivia's bait "When I tried to propose. When we were out on the Truman; when you flat-out refused…"

But Olivia can't see past her reasoning and hear him "That wasn't a proposal. That was manipulation."

And it was. Fitz didn't want to marry her, but he was willing to put aside their issues to save themselves.

"Really?" Fitz turns to Olivia, staring so close enough to her that he can smell her breath and see the dried tears on her face "You want to talk about manipulation? You think I don't know what you've been doing this entire time?"

Olivia backs away from Fitz "What are you talking about?"

Fitz moves closer to her but not as close "I'm talking about you… Strutting around here, wielding your undue influence in your power capes like you run the damn place."

"So you're bitter. Is that it? After realizing how ineffectual you actually are…" Olivia spat back but this time it was Fitz who stepped away from Olivia.

"How could I have ever loved someone like you?" he asked softly

The stab in her heart caused her a brief moment of vulnerability, and her lips opened to apologize but it was too late.

"You know, you're worse than her. You're worse than Mellie. At least with Mellie, I knew what she was the entire time. Unlike you. I mean, I knew where you came from, but…" How could he have fallen in love with her? She's nothing like the women he met all those years ago, she's not Olivia, and perhaps he never really knew her.

"Where I came from?" Olivia questioned " We both know who your father is. I came from a palace compared to the man that raised you. At least my father loved me."

Fitz laughs at her, laughs deeply in the diaphragm of his belly that tears begin to form around the duct in his eyes. "Love you? Your father abandoned you! The truth Olivia…" he steps closer to her this time not afraid of the assault he will endure " the truth is that you do not know what love is?"

He walks away from her believing this was the end of their fight, but the stomping of Olivia's heel on the floor and her pull of his hand tells him it was only just beginning.

Her nostrils are flared, her lip curled at the audacity of Fitz to say something like that to her, he won't know it but his words haunt her, every word, every insult plays in her head on repeat.

"And you do? Mister romantic? All you are is a bunch of frivolous words that mean nothing!"

"You want to know who wouldn't run? Someone capable of being in a relationship. Someone capable of being normal." He shames her.

Olivia counters back "If you were someone capable of being alone, someone, capable of not suffocating me!"

"I wasn't suffocating you, you just don't know what it's like to be in a relationship."

"I've been in many relationships as you are well aware of, what you do Fitz is trap people in your world! Your orbit! That all they have is you! It would nice to be with someone capable of being their own person instead of being validated by a relationship.

"it would be nice to be someone capable of love."

With unshed tears, Olivia attempts to fight Fitz but he blocks her slap, grabbing her hand and pulling her towards him. Olivia uses her other hand to hit him, anything to escape his grasp, but he catches her hand, gripping her tightly enough that she would wince at the discomfort if her adrenaline wasn't pumping. He pushes them against the wall, his body pressed tightly against her that they were finally one.

"I wish I never laid eyes on you!" Olivia proclaims, her lips trembling with anger. The painful void penetrating her heart where he once inhabited.

"I wish I never laid eyes on you!"

"I hate you!" Olivia cries as she struggles to break free from Fitz's grip, but it's fruitless.

"Olivia…" he whispers gently, exhausted at her proclamation and their row.

Her lips crash against his, pinned to the wall she extends her head as their lips join in a trivial battle that neither will win. She cries in his mouth as his wet tears merge with her own. He removes his grip from her hands, as her hands claw at his shirt, sending buttons flying throughout the room. Desperately Fitz unbuttons her pants as Olivia works on unbuckling his belt.

Olivia gasp at their junction. The sweet torture their union always brings. She scars his backs as her nails dig in his skin. With the exquisite pain of their uncoupling, she bites his lip, eliciting a small cut to his mouth that is soothed by her tongue and lips as his solitary token.

As Fitz moves in and out of her, her mind draws a blank, conflicted by her feelings that she can't decipher. Her legs wrap tightly around Fitz, clinging to him not to leave her and with the same friction, she struggles to move away from him.

As he moves and hardens inside her, Olivia shudders at the contact, her body and mind quivering into a state of euphoria as he quickly joins her.

/

She finds a seat and breathes a sigh of relief. Her adrenaline has been pumping so forcefully into her that she hasn't had the time to process what just happened to her, to them. In a matter of hours, her world came crashing down on her, leaving only casualties in the aftermath.

Olivia is unsure about many things, but one thing she knows to be certain is that her time has run up here. She can't stay here. She can't be consumed with him anymore, not again.

She opens her window cover and looks at the airport. Olivia Pope is starting over, and this time for good. No Jake, no Rowan, no distractions, just her.

She's still not exactly sure how she found herself here, after she left the White House, she had the white house staff move her belongings back to her apartment, but she didn't make the trip back home. Carrying only the clothes on her back and her purse, Olivia made the difficult decision to leave and not look back.

She opens her purse that contains her new passport and new life in it.

Her hand grazes the item, smiling at the prospect of a new beginning.

"It's just you and me now," Olivia whispers to the onesie in her hands.