Bart Gets a Job bored at a school trip to the box factory, Bart runs off and goes to Krustylu Studios where he manages to get a job working for Krusty.
PlotHomer is reading the horoscope.
"Today will be like any other day... D'oh! It just gets worse every minute..." Homer groaned.
Bart came in wearing his lucky red cap and whistling the Simpsons theme tune!
"Bart! Stop whistling that annoying song!" Marge told him off.
"Jahole meine Mommant!" said Bart in German.
"Why are you so happy?" Lisa asked.
"Yeah. You kids have to go to school, I have to go to work. The only one that has it easy is your mother." said Homer.
Marge grumbled annoyed at Homer.
"Homer my life isn't easy!"
"My class is going on a field trip." said Bart. "Oh and yours isn't! Haha!"
"So?" Lisa isn't phased by his taunt.
"Oh throw off the shackles of being imprisioned in that building for once Lis..." Bart sighed.
"Oh yeah. School is so boring..." Lisa remarked sarcastically.
Lisa imagines herself grown up. She's president with lots of awards. Bart is cleaning them.
"And that's how I cured all disease, ended war... and reunited the entire cast of TV's Facts of Life... including longtime holdout Tootie."
"I coulda been president..." Grown up Bart sighed.
"Shut up Field trip boy!" Lisa yelled pushing him. He fell and impaled himself on one of her trophies.
"How ironic... Impaled on a Nobel Peace prize." said Lisa.
Grown up Oscar came in to deliver a message but saw dead impaled Bart. "Oh my god! You killed Bart!"
"You bastard!" Kyle Broflovski from South Park yelled.
The daydream ended with Bart trying to get Lisa out of her trance.
"Hey Lis wake up." said Bart.
"Why? When I'm so happy..." Lisa sighed.
"I wonder what our little girl is day dreaming about..." said Homer.
"Mmmmmm... something nice probably." said Marge.
...
Principal Skinner announces the fourth grade class are going to the box factory. Bart tries to imagine they're going somewhere else but can't.
"And now, Principal Skinner will tell us... where we'll be going on this year's field trip." said Mrs Krabappel.
Skinner arrived to half hearted clapping. "Thank you, Edna, everyone. [Clears Throat] Now, class, I wonder who among you can tell me what this is?" He has a cardboard box.
"Oh! Not the box factory again, Seymour." Mrs Krabappel sighed.
[All Groaning] The kids were bored.
"This may well prove fascinating." said Martin being a geek.
"Note to self. Kill Martin." said Nelson making a note to himself.
"I know. I'll just do like Lisa... and escape into fantasy." Bart daydreams.
"Class, instead of going to the box factory today... we'll be going to the... box factory." said Skinner in his imagination.
"Damn you TV! You ruined my imagination!" Bart groans.
On the bus Bart and his friends gasp but sigh disheartened as they drive past the fireworks factory and a puppy farm.
Skinner and Martin sing ninety nine bottles of beer on the wall.
"Ninety nine bottles of beer on the wall... ninety nine bottles of beer..."
They go to the box factory which is really boring and are guided by a dull boring worker. Voiced by Ben Stein...
Bart tries to liven things up by asking if there had been any accidents there like hands getting sliced off and strangling people or popped eyeballs, but the manager explains he doesn't know what sort of factory Bart is speaking about, we only make boxes.
"Any of your workers had their hands cut off by machinery?"
"No." said the worker.
"And then the hand started crawling around and tried to strangle everybody?"
"No, that has never happened." said the worker.
"Any popped eyeballs?" said Bart.
"Uh no..."
"Any exploding heads?"
"I'm not sure what kind of factory you're thinking of."
The coolest factory ever...
...
Bart then finds out the Krustylu Studios is next door. Before the guide shuts the blinds.
"I'll just shut these blinds as the Krustylu studios is not part of the tour." said the worker.
Bart groaned.
Then a flock of disembodied hands scuttled past the room the fourth graders, Skinner and the box factory owner were in.
While the group are distracted, Bart wanders off.
"I'm outta here..." he groaned.
Martin wondered where Bart was going.
He goes to Krustylu Studies and gets past the security guard by saying he works there.
"Hold on kid. Do you work here?" The guard asked stopping him.
"Yes of course!" said Bart.
"Go right on through!" The guard stupidly let's him in.
Bart laughs evilly as he goes in.
Bart looks around and helps himself to a danish.
While looking around, Bart sees Krusty yelling at a producer because he didn't get a danish for breakfast.
"Sorry Krusty but all the danishes are gone!"
"They're not gone! You're gone!" Krusty yelled.
"Uh ooooooh..." Bart groaned.
Bart decides to swipe one from Kent Brockman while he's reading his script.
"Yoink!" Bart took the danish.
"Yoink?!" Kent asked.
"Here you go, Krusty!" Bart gives him the danish. He eats it hungrily.
"Where did you get this?" Krusty asks.
"I swiped it from Kent Brockman."
"Oh." Krusty pauses. "He didn't touch it did he?"
"Nope." Bart replies.
"Good." Krusty eats the danish.
...
Principal Skinner panics when he can't find Bart and calls his parents.
"Simpson, I'm giving you until the count of three to come out. One! Two! Three! I've done all I can do." said Skinner. That might work with a five year old or Hugo...
"We'd better call his parents." said Mrs Krabappel.
However Marge is in the shower.
Marge showering.
"Just a second she runs downstairs in a towel but misses the phone.
"I better call his father." said Skinner.
Homer's work station phone rings.
Homer is revealed to have just came from the decontamination showers when he answers the phone.
"Yello? You'll have to speak up. I'm wearing a towel." said Homer.
Elsewhere Bumblebee Man has a problem with the sketch and starts talking in a posh accent.
"I'm sorry. I'm really not comfortable with this, Ethan." said Bumblebee Man in a British accent.
"What's the matter, luv?" asked a supportive director.
"It's just- It's-It's the same, old, tired gags, isn't it? I mean, let's give the audience some credit." said Bumblebee Man holding a lobster.
"How about a giant mousetrap?" the director asked.
"I love it!" said Bumblebee Man.
Upon hearing the news Homer gets dressed and drives to the Box factory where he tells Principal Skinner off for not watching Bart properly.
"You idiot! Anything could have happened!" Homer shook Skinner angrily.
Then a box with Bart's lucky red cap appears.
"Omg! My boy's a box! Damn you! A box!" Homer does his best Charlton Heston impression and cries over the box.
"Coooooool!" said Oscar.
Milhouse winced at his over dramatic response.
"Anyway I found a voice actor for Inane Brian. Oliver Wyman." said Oscar.
"I'm Big the Cat?!" asked Brian.
"No! Oliver Wyman as Morty from Shaman king." said Oscar.
...
Meanwhile it's time for Bart to go home.
"Kid why are you still around?" Krusty asks. Getting annoyed.
"Hey you owe me." Bart frowns.
"For what?" Krusty asks in disbelief.
"I saved you from going to jail..." Bart explained.
"Uh huh..."
"I reunited you with your estranged father..."
"So?"
"I saved your dog..." said Bart.
"Well..."
"I saved your career, man!" Bart gets frustrated.
"But what have you done lately?" Krusty asks.
"I got you that danish."
"Oh yeah... tell you what, you can work for me. Here take this." He gives Bart a towel.
"Cool! A giant clown hanky!" Bart thinks it's an oversized handkerchief.
"It's a towel! You're my new personal assistant." Krusty face palmed and yelled that it was a towel.
"Coooool!" said Bart.
Meanwhile Kent is refusing to do the news until he gets a danish to replace the one that was stolen from him.
Bumblebee man then takes over the news and causes utter mayhem.
"Ay Ay Ay! No me gusta!"
"Okay the news is stupid today..." said Oscar at home watching the news.
"Oz, let's get some fresh air outside." said Teddy.
"What? And miss Gilligan?!" said Oscar.
Teddy sighed.
"A powerful tidal wave in Kuala Lumpur has killed 120 people. Ay, chihuahua.! Whoa, whoa, whoa!" said Bumblebee Man reading the news sensibly before going nuts.
Oscar winced.
...
At home.
"Marge, I have some horrible, bone-chilling news!" Homer tells Marge.
[Gasps] "What is it?" Marge asked.
Homer shows her the box with Bart's red cap resting on it.
Marge breaks down into tears and cries.
[Sobbing] Homer comforts her.
"Oh my poor baby! He's a box! (Sobbing)" Marge cries.
Plot 2Oscar arrives.
"Hi, Homer." said Oscar clueless as to why they're crying.
Um Oz they're in mourning...
"So?" said Oscar.
Bart arrives home to find everyone crying over a box with his red cap.
"My lucky red cap!" Bart explains taking his cap.
"Bart! You're ok!" Everyone gasps.
"Of course! I got a job working for Krusty." said Bart.
"Why you little! Scaring everyone like that!" Homer strangles Bart.
"Homer!" Marge tells him off and he lets Bart go.
After Bart catches his breath he explains what happened. "So I'm Krusty's personal assistant! Cool huh?"
"If you think being his 'dog's body' is cool, I suppose..." Lisa rolls her eyes.
"You're just jealous..." said Bart.
"Am not..." said Lisa.
"Are too!" said Bart.
"Am not!"
"Are too!"
"Are not!"
"Are too!"
"Are not!"
"Are too!"
...
Later.
"From now on, I'll be helping Krusty the Clown after school." said Bart.
"Mmm, I don't know, Bart. You're only 10." said Marge.
"I've got a weekend job helping the poor, and I'm only eight." said Lisa.
[Scoffs] "That's not a job. It's a waste of time." said Homer scoffing. "What can poor people pay you? Nothin'! What satisfaction do you get from helping them? None! Who wants to help poor people anyway? Nobody!"
Lisa frowned at him.
"So, anyway, can I, Mom? Can I take the job?" Bart asked.
"Well-" said Marge.
Oscar's eyes were glowing red and he was levitating a lamp with telekinesis. "If you say no, I will break each and everyone of your lamps."
"Oz!" Lisa told him off.
"Okay! Okay! You can work for Krusty... sheesh!" said Marge.
"Showbiz eh? I remember when I was a one man band." said Homer.
Young Homer is a one man band busking on the streets.
"Hello, everybody. I'm Archie Bell, and I'm also The Drells. We got a new song called "Tighten Up," and this is the music you tighten up with." said Homer. He played awful, painfully off key noise.
People groaned and yelled at him to stop.
"Hey, whatsa matter, you? You crazy kid, you chasing away my business." said an Italian organ grinder.
"Buzz off, Giuseppe." Homer said rudely.
"Pepe, go for the face!" The Organ grinder set his monkey on Homer.
Monkey screeching as it attacks Homer's face.
Homer screamed as the monkey attacked him. "Ah get it off! Get it off!"
The present.
"Uh yeah... how does that have to do with me working with Krusty the Clown?"
"Um I have no idea... but yes you can get a pet monkey..." said Homer.
Marge glared at Homer astonished he'd allow Bart to have a monkey.
"Dad I don't want a monkey. We already have Oscar." said Bart.
Oscar screeched and hollered like a chimp and threw things.
...
At work the next day, Bart is watching a performance while handing out tea for everyone.
"Thanks Bart." said Krusty taking his tea/coffee.
"Wow! It must be like living in a dream factory..." Bart asks a camera man.
"I wish I was dead..." The camera man replies bitterly.
Bart winced.
"Don't listen to him, Bart..." Krusty gives the camera man a dirty look. "This is a dream factory! I'll show you around." Krusty shows Bart around the place.
Bart then meets the sideshows, Mel who now has Bob's job.
"This is Sideshow Mel. Say hi Mel..." Krusty explains.
"Hey, you've taken over from Sideshow Bob right?" Bart asks Mel.
"Yes, if you put it that way..." Mel says while reading his stage directions. Krusty is to shoot him out of a cannon.
"Just ignore him, he's in a bad mood." Krusty explains. "And, well I had to hire someone after Bob got fired and went to prison..."
"Yeah that's true. Plus he tried to kill me once." said Bart.
Bart then meets the fat ballerina lady, Corperal Punishment and Mr Teeny, Krusty's pet Chimpanzee.
"Cool! A chimp!" said Bart.
Mr Teeny hooted and screeched.
"This studio is where Roger Myers and his team make Itchy and Scratchy episodes."
"Cool! Can I be in an episode?" Bart asks.
"Uh... no kid, now buzz off I have cartoons to direct." Roger Myers Jr shoos Bart away because he's distracting everyone.
"And this is the Bumblebee Man set." Krusty explains. Bumblebee Man is discussing with a producer that the lobster prop for the sketch is just so hackneyed and asks for something different. The staff then attach a giant mousetrap to his butt.
...
At school.
Lisa and her class were leaving the assembly hall.
"That debate was amazing wasn't it? It had everything! And an actual Nobel laureate to do that presentation!" said Lisa joyfully.
"My cat's called Mittens." said Ralph. That's all he talks about. His cat...
Lisa sighed and groaned exasperated.
"Um, so, hey everyone." said a new kid.
"Hey." said Lisa and some second graders.
Then Kent was back with ridiculous news headlines.
"I'm Kent Brockman. On the I 1 :00 news tonight... a certain kind of soft drink has been found to be lethal. We won't tell you which one until after sports and the weather with Funny Sonny Storm." said Kent.
Oscar watching on his portable TV in class screamed and ran about like a lunatic.
"Oz..." Ms McConnell sighed.
"Quick! Pin him down and put jam on his nose!" said Ace! "Or jelly to you Americans." Ace is Romanian. He chased after Oz with Jurkle helping.
Oscar screaming.
Ace and Jurkle tackled him to the floor, he struggled and screamed.
At home Marge set up a class room in the garage and was teaching Hugo.
She asked him trivia questions about Tom Sawyer to see if he had read the book like she asked.
Hugo answered her questions correctly.
"Marge why are you bothering. He doesn't even talk most of the time! He just growls and makes monster noises.
Hugo growled and garbled like a monster.
...
Bart has to clean up Krusty's room where he gets ready before each show. Apparently it's a mess...
"That should take you a few hours..." said Krusty.
Then Krusty calls him during school hours for funny things.
Mrs Krabappel's class.
"Okay, kids, open your books to page 60-"
[Cell Phone Ringing] Bart tired answers a cell phone.
"Yes, Krusty?" Bart sighed.
"Bart, I need to get your fingerprints on a candlestick. Meet me in the conservatory chop-chop. Don't worry. Everything's gonna be all right." said Krusty. Um...
Bart Winced baffled.
...
It's soon lunchtime. Bart passes out the sandwiches.
"Here you go. Here you go Tina. Here you go Mel..."
However he accidentally gives Sideshow Mel a cheese sandwich.
"Ugh! Didn't you listen when I told you I was lactose intolerant!?" Sideshow Mel spits out part of his sandwich.
"I'm sorry!" Bart begs for forgiveness.
"Sorry?!" Mel yelled.
"Why you-!" Sideshow Mel gags and is about to be sick. "Oh I'm about to be sick! You! Wait outside the bathroom so I can yell at you some more!"
Bart is stood outside the men's room while there is shouting and vomiting coming from inside.
"Why you little rapscallion! Such a hideous faced boy! (Vomiting sounds)" Sideshow Mel yells. Bart has enough and leaves.
"Show business sucks..." He goes to leave when Krusty stops him.
"Bart! I need you for something!" Bart goes with him. He explains that a midget performer didn't turn up to work so Bart's taking his place.
"You want me to be on the show?" Bart asked with glee.
"It's just one line." said Krusty. "Mel's supposed to say it, but he's dead."
"I'm not dead! (Vomiting) Oh such a hideous child!)"
"Dead?" Bart asked. "I just gave him a sandwich!"
"Or sick. I don't know. I forget." said Krusty.
As they pass the toilets they can hear Mel shouting in there still.
"Uh... You didn't give him anything with cheese in it did you...?" Krusty asks Bart.
"Sorry..." Bart apologised.
...
Bart is about to perform on stage for the first time.
"Don't worry, just walk on stage and say 'I'm waiting for a bus!' Then I come on and throw a pie at you." Krusty explains to Bart who's wearing a ridiculous costume with a fake beard and top hat.
"Okay." Bart wondered why he had to dress like this. But it's a clown show. Since when did anything in comedy make sense?
"Action!" Yells the director. Bart walks on.
"I am waiting for a buuuaaaaaaa!" Bart trips and knocks over the entire set, leaving the staff stunned and embarrassed. Bart suddenly turns around and says, "I didn't do it!" The audience burst out laughing and cheer.
Krusty is stunned that they like Bart despite his accident. However he is still embarrassed.
At home time Krusty escorts Bart to the exit.
"Hoo boy, remind me never again to let you go on stage! You cannot act!" Krusty groans.
"But I thought-!" Bart's about to be shoved out the back exit but there's a huge crowd waiting and cheering for Bart.
Krusty pulls Bart back in. "No! He's mine!" He hugs Bart tight and shuts the exit door. "Uuuuh... Forget all that you can't act stuff, you've got talent kid!" Krusty hugs Bart.
"But all I did was say 'I didn't do it'?" Bart is confused.
"That's a catchphrase. I'm famous for my clown laugh, now you have something to be famous for." Krusty explains.
"Cooool!" said Bart.
Krusty smiled and nodded.
Plot 3Bart then becomes famous as the "I didn't do it!" kid. He even gets an album and signs autographs.
And M C Hammer makes a cameo.
"Stop! Hammer time!" Oscar yelled.
Bart in a recording booth winced.
"Okay Bart from the top." said the recording DJ etc.
Stop! Hammer time! Or Can't touch this was playing. Bart was doing a funny hip hop dance grooving to the music and occasionally he'd say his catchphrase "I didn't do it." They were making a weird cover of Can't Touch This.
M C Hammer seemed to approve of the cover.
...
At home Lisa's not impressed.
"You got famous for a dumb little catchphrase..." Lisa sighs rolling her eyes.
"Lisa! Don't be so horrible!" Marge tells her off. They've also got lots of signed merchandise of Bart. Including speaking dolls.
"Eat my shorts!" says a doll when Homer pulls its string.
"Okay." Homer takes off the doll's shorts and eats them. "Mmmmm, shorts..."
Bart looks at him like he just did something extremely weird while Marge and Lisa Hrmmmmm.
...
Homer is trying to get Lisa to be famous too.
"Forget it, Dad. If I'm to be famous for anything I want it to be more than just an obnoxious fad..."
Bart overheard and is worried that he won't be famous anymore when people get bored of him. So for his appearance on the Conan O'brian show he tries to sound intelligent and writes some material to talk about.
However on the show Conan orders him to just say the line.
"Just say the line."
Bart sighs exhausted. "I didn't do it..." Everyone cheers. Conan then dances to the end credits and Bart half heartedly copies him.
"Just sit still. Only I may dance!" Conan tells him off before resuming his dance.
...
One night, Bart has a nightmare about being a one bit act on a quiz show where he knocks over a woman's head in a jar.
The following evening he's due to perform, but doesn't want to go.
"Bart, I know you feel silly saying that catchphrase over and over, but just think of all the fun you're giving." Marge explains.
"Oh yeah... Thanks Mom! I'll give the best performance of my life!"
...
Bart arrives at work just on time.
"There you, Bart. Now hurry, you're one in a few minutes!" Krusty explains.
"Bart you're on!" yells the director. Bart goes on and enthusiastically says "I didn't do it!" However the audience is silent.
"I didn't do it?" Still silence.
"I didn't do it?" Still silence. "Woozle wazzle?" The audience mutter angrily and start walking out.
Krusty face palms and sighs. After the director ends the sketch he escorts Bart off stage.
..
"What happened? Did I do wrong?" Bart asks.
"No. You're just finished." Krusty explained. "One day you're king of the world, the next, blam! Everyone's sick of ya."
Bart is sad.
"Don't worry kid. This happens all the time with material. Sometimes you stay big for a long time, others just get snuffed out in a few weeks. I have to keep making new material all the time, that's how I stay famous!"
"So, I guess this is goodb-" Bart is shoved out the exit door and before he can say goodbye Krusty slams the door on him.
...
At home everyone is packing Bart's stuff away.
"Bart I thought you'd like to keep all of your stuff for when you were everyone's special little guy..." Marge is packing away his merchandise.
"Thanks Mom."
"Funny how a little catchphrase can make you famous and suddenly you're nobody.
Homer trips and breaks a lamp.
"D'oh!"
"Ay carumba!"
"Hrrrrrm!"
Maggie sucks her pacifier.
"Hi diddly ho!"
Barney burps.
"Haw haw!"
"Excellent!" Everyone says their catchphrases.
Everyone then looks at Lisa who sits there in silence awkwardly.
Oscar breaks the ice by slurping as he sucks on the straw of his Squishee. Yet again some cringeworthy nerds insist Gumbly/Graggle is in this scene drinking a Squishee.
"If anyone wants me, I'll be in my room..." Lisa sighs. She goes upstairs.
"What sort of catchphrase is that?" Homer asks after the awkward silence.
Trivia Bender the robot appears in Bart's nightmare. Bart whistles the Simpsons theme tune at breakfast one morning after he becomes famous. The following characters say their catchphrases. Homer, Bart, Marge, Maggie, Ned, Barney, Nelson and Mr Burns.