11
Warning: This whole fanfic is inspired by several different sources including: the book version of The Three Musketeers, the 2011 film by Anderson, the BBC TV series, and some actual history.
In this chapter, the behavior of King Louis XIII and the duke of Buckingham is very much inspired by the 2011 film.
Chapter 3: Rubis sur l'Ongle
"OUCH!"
Richelieu was distracted from the report he was reading by a sensation that felt like several very tiny needles were being plunged into his thigh all at the same time. From her seat in his lap, Rubis was kneading his thigh with her tiny paws and digging her little claws in when she did it.
"Now, Rubis, if you want to read the trade reports with me, you must stop digging your claws into me! You know better than to do that."
Rubis stared up at him with big, deceptively innocent blue eyes, as if she had no idea what he was talking about.
About a week after their birth, Ludoviska's four kittens had finally opened their eyes, all of which had been blue. This shocked Richelieu, since neither Ludovic, nor Ludoviska had blue eyes, and he found himself wondering about Ludoviska's fidelity. But Bicarat explained that this was normal: all kittens were born with blue eyes and they settled on a permanent color later on, unless they turned out like Lucifer, who still had blue eyes, even when full grown.
There were two boys and two girls. Marie Madeleine had teased her uncle about his use of theme naming with the older cats: Lucifer, Ludovic, and Ludoviska. To prove to his niece that he was not obsessed with theme naming, Richelieu decided these kittens must not have names beginning with L, Lu, and certainly not Lud. He had chosen to name one kitten, a little tom with Ludoviska's ginger fur, Mounard. Mounard had been the surname of one of the theologians he'd studied with when preparing to enter the priesthood, and who he had admired.
The other tom had inherited Ludovic's gray pelt. He was christened Jean Baptiste. Emil had come up with this name. "People are already gossiping about you having a cat named Lucifer, your Eminence," he had told Richelieu. "Perhaps you should give at least one of the kittens a respectably religious name. That will hopefully help balance things out so they can't disapprove so much." Richelieu had admitted that Emil had a point and the kitten was named after the saint.
Like Ludovic and Jean Baptiste, one of the girl kittens was gray. Marie Madeleine had requested the right to name her and Richelieu could not deny his niece. She decided on Jeanne, after Jeanne d'Arc, patron saint of France.
The last kitten was a ginger girl. It seemed that she would have Ludovic's eyes as hints of copper were just starting to show in the blue. Richelieu, Marie, and Emil had considered at least a dozen names for her before they finally settled on "Rubis" because of her beautiful reddish fur.
It had now been three weeks since the birth of the kittens. They all had high voices and were, in Richelieu's opinion, very squeaky. They were learning to stand and walk, though they were sometimes a little wobbly, just as human babies sometimes stumble and tumble over when they are first learning to walk. Richelieu felt pride when he watched each kitten's first wobbly steps. As they learned to move about their environment, the kittens were curious. They wanted to explore and sometimes explored places they should not have been exploring. As they interacted with their surroundings, they were also learning to use their claws. Richelieu had learned quickly that in spite of their youth and their small size, the kittens had very sharp claws. They were also keen to learn how to use them.
One thing they did with those claws was kneading. Richelieu knew that it was natural for cats to knead both things and people. They would push their paws rhythmically in and out against an object, sometimes digging their claws in hard when they did so. It looked a bit like a baker kneading bread dough. They kneaded a variety of things: blankets, clothing, cushions, and unfortunately sometimes parts of the cardinal's body. Perhaps they wanted to stretch their muscles, test their claws, or just mark what they considered their territory. He remembered that Minette had done it when she was alive. Lucifer, Ludovic le Cruel, and Ludoviska all did it occasionally. It was only natural that the kittens would learn to do it sooner or later. However, for some reason, Rubis seemed to do it more often than any of the other cats, including the adults. Perhaps it was Richelieu's imagination, but he also thought that out of all the cats, she had the sharpest claws.
At this very moment, those sharp claws dug into both of the cardinal's thighs!
Richelieu yelped and dropped the report.
"Now, Rubis, listen to me. You know I love you. But if you're going to sit with me while I'm working, you need to behave yourself. I need to get through this report, and your claws are very distracting, not to mention painful. Do you understand?"
Rubis merely stared at him with an expression so innocent that Richelieu actually felt a bit guilty for reprimanding her.
At this moment, there was a knock at his office door.
"Enter."
Marie Madeleine entered, carrying one of her uncle's red cassocks. "Uncle Armand, would you care to explain this?"
She held up the sleeve of the cassock and showed him a rip in it.
Richelieu grimaced. "I was going to tell you about that, I just forgot."
"So, are you going to tell me now?"
"I was playing with Rubis. She got a bit excited and her claw caught on my sleeve."
Marie Madeleine sighed. "I can probably mend it, but you should try to be more careful in the future."
"I will, Marie."
"You do remember you have meeting with the king this afternoon?"
"Yes, why?"
"Rubis is on your lap right now. And her fur is getting all over the cassock you are currently wearing!"
"Is it?" Richelieu looked down and saw that she was right. "Well, I don't think anyone will notice. The cassock is red and her fur is reddish."
Marie Madeleine peered at him. "You just don't want to take her off your lap, do you?"
"No, I don't-OW!"
"She's kneading you again."
"Yes, I can't seem to get her to stop."
Marie Madeleine left the office. She came back a few minutes later carrying a thick, gray, woolen blanket, which she handed to her uncle. "Put that on your lap. That way she should be able to knead you without hurting you so much. And this way you won't be completely covered in cat hair when you meet with his Majesty."
Richelieu took the blanket gratefully. "Thank you, Cherie. What would I do without you?"
His niece smiled. "Do you really want to know?"
"Probably not."
Richelieu picked up Rubis, who squeaked at being moved, and put her on his desk, right on top of the report. He then spread the gray blanket over his knees, and put Rubis back on his lap. It wasn't long before Rubis was kneading the blanket with great satisfaction.
Richelieu had initially been uncertain how Lucifer would react to the kittens. After all, they were the children of Ludovic and Ludoviska, not him. But the cardinal needn't have worried. Lucifer became like a kind of uncle to the kittens. It was not unusual to find him playing with them, grooming them, and even cuddling with them.
But the real surprise came one day when Richelieu found Lucifer lying on his blue cushion with Mounard curled up on the cushion beside him. Richelieu could not believe what he was seeing. This was the first time in living memory that Lucifer had willingly allowed another cat anywhere near his cushion.
It was the first, but not the last time this happened. Lucifer also allowed the other kittens to get on his cushion when they wanted to. It was rather amusing that a cat named after the devil could be so tender with kittens. But Lucifer still wouldn't share the cushion with Ludovic or Ludoviska. Not that it mattered much. Their favorite place to cuddle was with each other.
A few days later, Richelieu was getting dressed. He pulled on his right boot. He picked up his left boot, intending to pull it on, when a little gray furry head with round blue eyes poked out of the boot and peered up at him.
"What are you doing in there, Jeanne d'Arc?" Richelieu chuckled as he extricated her from the boot.
"You have a very inquisitive daughter," he remarked to Ludoviska, who was sitting in the corner of the room. She was currently bathing Mounard with her tongue. Judging by the hissing and squirming, Mounard was not enjoying the bath. He was a quarrelsome kitten who rarely liked getting cleaned up.
"Mounard, behave for your Maman," Richelieu reproved him.
"Your Eminence! You might want to come look at this!" Emil was calling with the voice he used when he knew Richelieu wasn't going to be happy.
Richelieu sighed and put Jeanne d'Arc down. "I'm coming!"
One the way he walked past Ludovic le Cruel and Jean Baptiste, who were playfully rough-housing. For a cat titled "le Cruel," Ludovic had proved to be a surprisingly affectionate father.
When Richelieu found Emil, he was staring at a pair of green curtains with rips at the hems. Rubis was sitting on the floor in front of them.
Richelieu pinched the bridge of his nose. "Rubis, you have got to learn you can't use your nails on everything! No treats for you tonight!"
His Grace, George Villiers, the Duke of Buckingham, was coming to Paris. The King of England had agreed to consider the French peace proposal and had sent the duke as his messenger to King Louis XIII.
Richelieu's home was on the Rue Vaugirard. However, it was necessary for him to stay at the palace for the length of the duke's visit to make sure that diplomatic negotiations went on as planned. He decided that all seven cats were going to come with him. His justification was that they might get separation anxiety if they were away from him too long.
When they were informed of this plan, Emil and Marie Madeleine exchanged concerned looks. "But you've gone away and left the cats at home before," pointed out Marie Madeleine. "They've been fine with that in the past."
"Yes, and I always spent those trips worrying about them and wondering how they were doing. This way I won't have to do that."
"Uncle Armand, are you sure it is wise during such a sensitive diplomatic visit to take seven cats to the palace?"
"Well, technically four of them are only kittens."
"With respect, your Eminence, that just means they're more energetic." Emil adored the kittens, but he also knew only too well that more feline energy could be channeled into more mischief.
Richelieu would not be swayed. "I have a suite of rooms at the palace where I'll be staying. It's big enough for the cats to be comfortable and they can stay in there where they'll be out of the king's way."
Emil tried another tactic. "Eminence, if you leave the cats here, I will feed them and look after them while you're away."
"That would be a fine idea, except for the fact that you are coming with me. I don't trust anyone else to manage my belongings properly." Under other circumstances, Emil might have been flattered by this tribute to his competency, but right now he was more worried about the fact that they really were going to be bringing seven cats to the palace!
Glancing at his niece, Richelieu added, "And Marie, before you say you'll feed them if I leave them here, you're coming as well. You might want to start packing."
"There's Eponine," Emil suggested. Eponine was one of the maids. "She could feed them while we're gone."
"Eponine doesn't know the cats so well, and they don't know her so well. What if she gives them food they don't like? What if they're uncomfortable with her? And I don't want them to be upset that I'm away for so long."
Marie Madeleine tried a final argument. "Uncle, cats are not like dogs. They're more independent-minded. I think as long as someone feeds them, they can manage without you for a week or so."
"No! I won't risk them feeling lonely and abandoned. The cats are coming and that's final. Emil, help me start packing their things."
Emil was pretty sure that this whole plan had less to do with the risk of the cats getting lonely than it did with the cardinal not wanting to be parted from the cats for too long. But he knew better than to voice this opinion aloud. Instead, he did as he was bid and started packing the cats' favorite toys.
The date of the English duke's arrival loomed closer.
As a result, everything and everyone was in a frenzy.
The palace staff were busy preparing suitable chambers for the duke and members of his retinue. They were busy dusting and scrubbing every nook and cranny of the palace. They even dusted the tiny cupboard of useless knick-knacks in the very back of the fourth storeroom, which Buckingham was probably not even going to get the chance to see but "just in case."
There would be feasting to welcome the duke. The palace cooks were busy planning an impressive menu with multiple courses.
The members of the Royal Council were busy going over their notes and updating their paperwork.
Richelieu was busy going over the details of the peace proposal to discuss with the duke. He wanted the very last of the paperwork finished, checked, and proofread.
His Majesty King Louis XIII of France was busy worrying about his wardrobe.
The duke of Buckingham was known to be handsome and was considered one of the most fashionable men in England. The fashion-conscious King Louis did not want to look shabby next to him. Consequently, he was keeping his tailors busy.
One day Richelieu was having a debriefing with his agent Milady de Winter when the king bustled into the room, his high heeled shoes clicking. He was dressed in blue, his doublet was unbuttoned, and three harried looking tailors scurried behind him.
When the king realized that Milady had recently been in England, he became excited and asked her what Buckingham was wearing these days.
"Green, your Majesty," Milady replied.
"Green, very interesting." The king turned toward his tailors. "And you had the gall to recommend blue." He proceeded to rip both sleeves off the blue doublet, threw them on the floor for his tailors to pick up, and stormed off, cursing the tailors and declaring that he needed a green suit.
His Grace, George Villiers, Duke of Buckingham arrived at the palace dressed in blue.
Richelieu wasn't entirely sure if the duke's fashion caprices really just changed that fast, or if Milady had said he wore green just to play a joke on the king.
In any case, King Louis, dressed head to toe in green, was clearly embarrassed.
His Grace was not helping matters with his attitude. "Your Majesty," he drawled condescendingly. "Love the outfit. Very retro. We were all wearing those in London, when was it, last year? Or the year before?"
King Louis forced a smile, but Richelieu knew him well enough to be able to tell that underneath the king was seething with barely suppressed embarrassment, envy, and resentment.
That evening there was a banquet in honor of the duke's arrival.
There were numerous courtiers, dressed in their most impressive finery, eating, drinking and gossiping. There were several courses of rich food. There was more wine than was probably good for many of the people.
Richelieu, who was required to attend the banquet, was enjoying the food, but not much else. He had left the cats safely in the chamber where he was staying, with Emil serving as a cat sitter. He'd made sure there was plenty of food for the cats and supper for Emil. Richelieu reflected that he would rather be there playing with the kittens than supervising the frivolous French king and the arrogant English duke. Alas, they both required adult supervision to make sure they played nicely. Richelieu resolved that as soon as this multi-course meal was over, he was going back to his chamber, and he was going to cuddle all seven kitties!
Oh well, he thought. At least the food is good. The palace cooks really know how to baste geese in white wine and stuff them with chestnuts.
The duke of Buckingham had changed his clothes for the banquet. He was still wearing blue, but it was a midnight blue velvet doublet with pearls sewn on the front. As if to match his green silk suit, King Louis was almost green with envy.
Queen Anne was trying to keep things civil between her husband and Buckingham. This was made more difficult by the fact that Buckingham was trying to flirt with her.
Richelieu looked to another corner of the room. Marie Madeleine was discussing Theology with Madame de Lannoy, while they shared a plate of grapes. On the other side of the room, Milady de Winter was employing her charms on some hapless, elderly, doddering count. Richelieu almost felt sorry for the man. Almost. Given that Milady was at least thirty years his junior, the count really should have known better.
Suddenly there was a scream.
The scream was so high that it could have come from a girl, but it actually came from a rich, arthritic, octogenarian marquis, whose family probably dated back to Hugh Capet. This respectable gentleman of the court leapt from his seat and cursed a blue streak that would have made sailors blush. Naturally, everyone stared at him.
"Something scratched me!" he shrieked. "Something scratched me! I'm bleeding!"
The room descended into pandemonium.
"What was it?"
"Where is it?"
"Where did it go?"
"It is a mouse?"
"Is it a rat?"
"Oh dear, I can't bear rats!"
"Where did the rat go?"
"You fool, we still don't know if it even was a rat!"
"Somebody catch that rat!"
"AH!" the voice of one man rose above the rest. "THAT'S MY FOOD!"
Richelieu, like everyone else, had been looking round the room to see what sort of animal had caused the initial disturbance, and where it might be. When the man shouted so loudly about his food, Richelieu turned to look in his direction. It was a count with silky, curling, dark brown hair, which reached below his shoulders. He was standing up and shouting at a creature on the table. A small, reddish, furry creature. A small creature with a bit of goose meat hanging from its mouth. A small, familiar looking creature. It was Rubis!
Before Richelieu could do anything, the count made a grab for the cat. But Rubis dodged his hand and swiped at him. Her paw caught on his long, curly hair and the hair jerked, sliding off his bald head and revealing itself to be a wig. The count shrieked in rage and humiliation, but before he could get ahold of her, Rubis ran down the table away from him. More shrieks erupted from the banqueters.
"It's a cat!"
"It's a dog!"
"It's a rat!"
"No, you nincompoop it's definitely a cat!"
"It's a devil!"
"It's sent by a witch!"
"It's dangerous!"
"Get the cat!"
The Duc de Chevreuse tried to help by making a lunge for the kitten, but he only succeeded in knocking over a goblet of red wine, which spilled on the white satin gown of Marie de Medici, the Queen Mother. Even though it was just wine, she still screamed as if she were being attacked. "MY DRESS!"
Rubis ran along the banquet table, sometimes knocking over food as she went. She knocked over a bowl of fruit, and the fruit rolled across the floor. One of the duke of Buckingham's English attendants stepped on a pear, which caused him to slip and fall. In an attempt to break his fall, he grabbed the skirt of Madame de Lannoy's orange silk gown, but that just caused this respectable matron to fall over as well, landing on top of the man.
As Rubis ran along the table, she knocked over a bowl of split pea soup. The green soup splashed right across the blue velvet doublet of the Duke of Buckingham.
Buckingham hissed. Rubis hissed right back.
Buckingham reached forward and grabbed Rubis by the scruff of her neck. He picked her up and held her in front of him. He stared at her. Rubis reached out with one tiny paw and swiped at Buckingham's chest. A long rip was made in the blue velvet of the doublet. A few of the pearls came off the doublet and scattered on the floor.
The Duke of Buckingham loudly used a word that was not very becoming for a duke to use. "You miscreant!" he exclaimed. "That's my best doublet! I should drop you in the Seine!"
"NO!" Richelieu ran to Buckingham and snatched Rubis out of his hands. Desperately hoping to defuse the situation, while keeping her tucked safely against his chest, he said, "Your Grace, you have my deepest apologies."
Buckingham gaped at him. "You know something about that-that creature?"
"It's one of his cats!" grumbled the Duc de Chevreuse. Gossip had spread around the French court about the cardinal's cats.
Everyone was staring at Richelieu now. He swallowed. "I will of course reimburse you for your doublet." He then turned to the king. "Your Majesty, words cannot express how sorry I am for the disruption and the mess caused by my cat. With your Majesty's permission, I will take her back to my chamber where she will be unable to cause further harm."
King Louis stared at the cardinal for a painfully long moment, and then nodded. "Yes, well. See that you do. And don't let her get out again."
The cardinal headed out of the room with Rubis in his arms. Marie Madeleine followed him. As Richelieu walked, he noticed the king was staring, not at him or Rubis, but at the duke of Buckingham. But then he was distracted by the whispers.
"Does that wild animal really belong to the cardinal?"
"That's not the only one. He has three cats!"
"It's more than three now! I heard one of his cats had kittens."
"So how many cats does he have?"
"I don't know! I don't know how many kittens were born in the litter!"
"Look at the Queen Mother! With the red wine on her white gown, it looks like someone stabbed her. And to think she used to be Cardinal Richelieu's patron! She might not favor him anymore." Richelieu made a mental note that he should probably make an offer to Marie de Medici to pay for the damage to her gown.
"What's a clergyman doing with cats? Everyone knows cats are the assistants of witches. Just look at the trouble that one caused!"
"If he wanted a pet, why didn't he just get a dog like a normal man would? I've always thought cats are more of a pet for ladies."
"I always knew the Red Eminence was a bit of an eccentric." This remark was followed by the sound of sniggering.
"I never knew the count wore a wig!"
"Well, I always suspected he might be wearing a wig, but until now I didn't know he was completely bald!"
"You have to admit it was funny when Madame de Lannoy fell on top of that man."
"We'll see how much longer his Eminence stays in power after this." More laughter.
The incident was not Emil's fault.
Richelieu learned this when he and Marie Madeleine found Emil down one of the hallways, carrying a large basket, and stuffing Mounard into the basket with the two remaining kittens. Emil then gave Richelieu the full story of how Rubis had gotten loose.
Emil had been cat sitting in the chamber. A pageboy had knocked on the door. At the time, Emil had been on the other side of the room, cleaning up one of Lucifer's hairballs, so he called out to the visitor to wait and not open the door just yet, as he didn't want the cats to get out. However, this pageboy was new on the job, foolish, impatient, and had gotten the palace rooms mixed up. He thought this chamber was being used by the Duc de Chevreuse, for whom he was supposed to be delivering a package. Against Emil's specific instructions, the pageboy opened the door (and being on the other side of the room, Emil was not close enough to stop him). Now one of the inconvenient things about cats is that a closed door holds a powerful attraction for them. No matter which side of the closed door they are on, they long to see what is on the other side, and will sometimes sit by the door, waiting for someone to open it. This was precisely what all four of the kittens had been doing at that time. As soon as the pageboy opened the door, the kittens jumped up, and ran through the doorway, heading off in different directions.
Emil had been understandably panicked when the kittens ran off, but he had had enough sense to secure Lucifer, Ludovic, and Ludoviska in the room before they could run off as well. Once that was done, he grabbed a large basket with a lid, shut the door firmly, and ran off to find the kittens, a task made more difficult by the fact that they had gone off in different directions. The pageboy had been no help whatsoever. Fortunately, Emil had managed to find and catch Jeanne, Jean Baptiste, and finally Mounard, putting each kitten in the basket as he did so, before they could get into trouble. It was only Rubis who he hadn't gotten to in time.
Richelieu supposed the situation could be worse. If Emil hadn't caught the other three kittens, who knew what sort of mess they might have created, and the situation might have been a great deal worse. As it was, however, the situation was still pretty bad. The banquet to welcome Buckingham had been ruined. Richelieu could only pray that the peace treaty was still salvageable. He also prayed that this wasn't the end of his political career.
Richelieu did not berate Emil for what had happened with the cats. He had a number of vices, but hypocrisy was one he tried to avoid. He remembered only too well that Emil and Marie Madeleine had been the ones who tried to talk him out of bringing the cats to the palace, and he hadn't listened.
Richelieu gave Rubis a thorough scolding for her bad behavior. However, that night he still ended up cuddling all seven of the cats, including her. After the events of today, he definitely needed the comfort.
To Richelieu's great relief, the duke of Buckingham was not stupid. He might be arrogant, dangerous, greedy, intemperate, vain, smug, and prone to using too much pomade in his hair, but he was not stupid. He was an English diplomat and he knew he was expected to act in England's best interests, even in awkward circumstances. So, he grudgingly agreed to bring the peace proposal to the English King, but only after Richelieu had paid him handsomely for his ruined doublet.
Buckingham had also said he wanted Rubis's skin for a muffler, but Richelieu managed to persuade him to accept an extra fifty livre instead.
A few days later, Richelieu was summoned to a meeting with King Louis. Before going, he prayed that he was not about to be fired from his position as Minister of France.
"Now, Cardinal," said the king when he arrived. "This is about the matter of that kitten of yours."
Richelieu braced himself. "Your Majesty, I truly am sorry about Rubis's actions. She's still a kitten and I will train her to behave better. What happened at the banquet for the Duke of Buckingham will not happen again."
"Yes. Well, see that it doesn't." And then the king actually smiled. Why was he smiling? Richelieu immediately felt wary. "Now I have a gift for you."
WHAT?
This had to be some sort of trap. Normally, Richelieu would not have thought the young king very capable of deception, but there was no way this "gift" could possibly be good news. Maybe this "gift" was some sort of early retirement gift. Perhaps it was some way to gracefully make Richelieu resign.
King Louis was still talking. "Well, technically it's a gift for your kitten, Rubis, wasn't it?"
WHAT?
"Er, yes, your Majesty, that is her name."
"Yes, well, Denis, come hither," he beckoned over a pageboy holding a wooden chest. Denis tripped over his own feet as he came over. Richelieu wondered if this might have been the same new, incompetent pageboy Emil had told him about.
When he'd finished tripping, Denis held the chest out to Richelieu. "Go on, open it," urged King Louis.
Richelieu lifted the lid and pulled out a scarlet vest trimmed with gold lace and gold buttons. But the vest was far too small for a human to wear. His jaw dropped. "Is this-"
"For Rubis. So, she can match you when you wear your red robes."
Was this actually happening? "I,,thank you, your Majesty. It is exquisite."
"Isn't it?" the king beamed. "And I thought Rubis was a cute kitten when I saw her. And I must admit, it was funny when she spilled pea soup on Buckingham and ripped his doublet."
It was then that Richelieu realized something he really should have realized before. King Louis was not mad. The king envied Buckingham's handsomeness, and his ability to be the most fashionable man in the room. He resented Buckingham for his arrogance and his condescending remarks about the king's fashion choices. But when Buckingham had been covered in split pea soup and his blue velvet doublet torn, the pearls ripped off, thanks to Rubis's antics, he had looked ridiculous. The impressive, fashionable, dangerous duke had been bested by a kitten who only weighed a few pounds. And King Louis was just petty enough that he had actually enjoyed the duke embarrassment.
Richelieu wanted to laugh out loud. But he controlled himself. Instead, he thanked the king profusely for his gift, and said he was sure that Rubis would appreciate it.
Rubis did not appreciate the vest. She resisted and squirmed when Richelieu put it on her.
"Stop wriggling, my girl," the cardinal told her. "You're really very lucky this is the worst that's happening after the stunt you pulled. You should thank God that the King thought the duke's ruined doublet was funny."
Rubis only reply was a little hiss.
Emil cooed at the sight. "I think she looks quite fetching in it."
Richelieu nodded. "I agree. In fact, I think I ought to pay someone to paint a portrait of her in this vest, if we can get her to sit still long enough."
Rubis looked up at her human as if to say You wouldn't dare!
"Stop looking at me like that. In fact, I think having to wear this garment for a portrait might make a suitable punishment for your behavior."
Marie Madeleine hummed thoughtfully. "You could title the portrait "Rubis sur l'Ongle." It can be a testament to her habit of scratching with her nails."
Richelieu actually chuckled. "You know, I think I will actually start calling her that. Her father, Ludovic, is titled "le Cruel." Why shouldn't she have a title of her own? What do you think of that, Rubis sur l'Ongle?"
Rubis just looked at the three humans as if she couldn't believe how ridiculous they were.
Notes:
In the film The Three Musketeers (2011), the duke of Buckingham really does tell the king "Love the outfit. Very retro. We were all wearing those in London, when was it, last year? Or the year before?" However, though they used it in the film, I doubt he would have actually dared to say something like that in real life.
It might seem surprising to have King Louis's mother, Marie de Medici, at court, given the difficult relationship she had with her son in real life (Louis actually organized a revolt against his mother in 1617, due to her monopolizing power). However, she reconciled with her son in 1619. Cardinal Richelieu actually played a part in this by negotiating the Treaty of Angouleme. Mother and son had another falling out in 1630, when Marie de Medici wanted her son to dismiss the cardinal. This part of the story is supposed to be taking place after 1619, but before 1630, so Marie de Medici and her son are on good terms (for now). We may see her again in the story.
For a part of his life, Cardinal Richelieu did live on the Rue Vaugirard.
Madame de Lannoy and the Duc de Chevreuse were real people, though I admit their accidents during the banquet are products of my imagination. Madame de Lannoy is actually mentioned in the book version of The Three Musketeers.
Ongle means nail in French.
The kittens Jeanne and Jean Baptiste are products of my imagination. However, Cardinal Richelieu actually did have a cat named Mounard le Fougueux and a cat named Rubis sur l'Ongle. The idea of them being the kittens of Ludovic le Cruel and Ludoviska is fictional. However, given that the cardinal had fourteen cats at the end of his life, I think it's not impossible that some of them might have been the kittens of the others.