Ch 57 - The Big, Brave Thing

"No." Carson said pointedly, taking off down the hall almost with a huff.

Elsie bit her lip not knowing what to say but followed in frustrated earnest, her keys jiggling as she tousled their youngest on her hip.

"But Charlie…" She offered. "He needs your help and your all he's got."

Carson turned on a dime, his gaze so cutting it made Elise jump and hold her baby closer.

"Mrs. Hughes. You know how…" He stopped, noting they were in earshot of an eavesdropping Mrs. Patmore. He sighed, easing open his pantry door and gesturing for her to come inside.

"Charlie…" She began again as he closed the door.

"You know how much pain that man has caused me. I'm sorry Mrs. Hughes. This is not something I can forgive."

"But he…"

"And if he finds himself in the work house, its his own fault. Not mine. And not yours." He emphasized, knowing his wife's manner.

Baby Lucy fussed then began to babble to herself, very much disliking her father's tone of voice. Elsie sighed, taking her baby lass' hand gently.

"This is a man you sang and danced with, do you really feel … Nothing?" Elsie couldn't believe that, even if she knew it to be fact.

Carson left without another word, but paused a beat as he stepped out, his gaze less of a goodbye and more of a warning. Lucy looked up at her mother, her little eyes full of confusion.

"Your very right Lucy lass, that wasn't too nice of daddy now was it?" Elsie asked, running her fingers through the child's bit of strawberry blonde curls. "But that doesn't mean its the right thing to do…" She considered with a sigh, pulling the telegram out of her pocket.

….

Elsie twirled her thumbs nervously, her heart full of trepidation as the bus made its way back toward Downton. She knew she'd done the right thing, but part of her dreaded her husband's displeasure over her decision to save Charlie Grigg. Still, with both her and Mrs. Crawley stepping in to aid, what did he really have to say about it?

Elsie dusted herself off, every inch of her from her fingers, down into her lungs feeling filthy from her visit to the workhouse. She didn't have the time, but longed to go home and scrub herself clean before returning to her work and her children, not wanting to contaminate either with the vile things she'd felt and seen.… She cleared her throat, noting she smelled faintly of the fowl place.

'Perhaps I'd better have a bath…' She thought. 'Charlie shouldn't be the wiser .. .Not yet.'

It'd felt strange to her to meet her husband's old friend, almost as if she'd gotten a chance to glimpse back into her love's distant past. She'd been careful about what she said to the pitiful man who kept begging for any word on Charlie Carson. As aloof as her husband was about this man and his sorrows, Elsie saw real pain and a deep need to be forgiven in Mr. Grigg's blue orbs. It tugged at her heart in a way she couldn't deny.

'There's something you don't know Mr. Carson…' She wanted to tell her husband. 'It's evident you don't know the whole story…'

And at the same time, she couldn't help but see her husband's way. For the other man's pleas for forgiveness kept her thinking about her Charlie's pain.

It'd been on her wedding night that she first heard about Alice Neal, the young woman her husband loved first. It'd been an intimidating, no a heartbreaking story for a young bride to hear, but in the end, Elsie couldn't be more grateful for how things had worked out, and how Grigg had stolen Alice from her husband. The act had broken his heart, but sealed her fate. Happy for herself or not, that hadn't meant she'd rejoiced in the plain that had been caused Carson. Quite the contrary.

Elsie found herself torn, in that case, on whether or not to boast about her husband's many successes: his role at the house… His position in town, his beautiful children. A marriage that'd lasted a quarter of a century. Ultimately, she chose to be careful about what she said, out of respect for her husband's wishes, only telling Mr. Grigg she 'worked' with Mr. Carson, not that she was his wife. She found that a shame. She wanted to boast of being his wife, she wanted him to know he and Alice hadn't kept her Charlie down, not after all. Something about that news seemed … Just.

But Elsie held her tongue on the matter of her husband and whether or not he'd show up to aid his old friend. Instead, she'd made a path to free the man, one that led straight to Downton, and elected to leave the rest up to fate.

…..

Three Weeks Later

Freezing rain persisted into early spring, putting more than half of Downton's nursery in bed with a bad head cold … Nearly all of the children were sick and had been quarantined with nanny and two maids who'd been brought in to aid her. Lucy and Sybbie were enduring first illnesses and both girls were rather insufferable. Being the worst off, they'd been stashed away together under nanny's careful eye.

Ben, Charlie and Sam were also very under the weather, but the boys were just well enough to keep each other company and have a little fun together while recovering…. Actually the three were getting up to all kinds of boyhood mischief and having a splendid time in Ben's new room. Allegedly they'd built a fort and were recovering there, playing 'Cowboys and Indians…' Much to Carson's dismay…

'Sometimes, dare I say Lady Grantham can be too American.' He'd told Elsie upon hearing that she'd been regaling the children with stories from the American West.

That said, the entire nursery was quarantined away from parents, friends and servants …. All accept Charlotte Carson.

'That's my girl.' Carson chuckled proudly, teasing. 'With such a strong constitution she's without a doubt the most Carson-like out of all of them.' Carsons, he had insisted, rarely got sick. Elsie was skeptical of that.

Charlotte had spent the past several days away from her siblings and friends, the lonely days a foreshadowing of what her life would one day become. She continued her schooling in the mornings, but that barely lasted a couple of hours, their teacher citing that Charlotte was; "the sharpest of his pupils" and didn't "require much attention." He hadn't said it, not knowing what the butler's daughter's prospects were, but actually felt that Charlotte was a couple of grade levels ahead of the boys …

Charlotte spent another part of her days with Mrs. Patmore and Daisy in the kitchen, and still another portion with her mum, helping her in her work. She took tea with Lady Grantham, and had her riding lesson, where, invariably she'd had to contend with Lady Mary on her own, something that wasn't comfortable for either of them .… Finally she spent a lot of time exploring the castle, and at Lord Grantham's behest, relaxed in the library trying to read whatever she could reach…

Even now, Charlotte's world was slowly twisting into one of great and strange privilege. She didn't know that in a few years, Benjamin and Charlie would be sent off to school together. She'd be left behind with the younger children, and relatively little to occupy her time and mind. As a result, the sharp little girl would be left in limbo just as she was becoming a young woman.

Charlotte was destined to be mired in a world full of privilege but with no real path to a solid life, and worse, a decided gap between her and the 'real' world, one she'd not be able to bridge, being a child of the house .… A true shame considering she was far more deserving of schooling than her twin brother, or the little Lord Grantham to be… Her teacher already knew this and he wished there were a way he could change the course…. Little did he know, so did Lady Grantham.

For now, Charlotte's boredom manifested itself in the most natural of ways, for she'd inherited her mother's gift of observation and love of helping others. As such, it was at this time that the child would begin her true life long occupation: that of a serial meddler.

Today, mummy and daddy were having a bit of a tiff, one that had piqued Charlotte's overly curious nature. This left her more on her own than usual, and with only Isis the dog to keep her company.

'Will you watch her for me?' Lord Grantham had asked kindly. She didn't realize he'd noticed her loneliness as of late. 'I must go to Ripon today and could use someone to keep her in check….'

'This is perfect.' Charlotte thought. 'Who better to help me investigate than a dog?'

Charlotte, you see, was spending the day following her father from a distance, trying to her best to figure out the source of this 'thorn' in his side known as Mr. Charlie Grigg. She'd not known he had a friend called this… Or that he had many friends outside the Abbey for that matter. She supposed she'd never thought much of her parent's lives prior to Downton. As such, she simply had to know more about this man and why he made daddy so mad. Perhaps this would be the key to this cheerful Charlie business… Whatever it was.

Elsie had not noticed her oldest child sneaking about the castle, but if she had, she would have never acquiesced to the notion that Charlotte's investigatory behavior mirrored her own tendencies to a tee. Thomas, however, had taken note of the little redhead's spying and it humored him greatly.

'The apple doesn't fall far from the tree with that one…' He realized.

Thomas wondered if he could use Charlotte's manner to his advantage. 'Just because Miss Baxter is unwilling…' He supposed. 'Doesn't mean I couldn't find someone else to replace Miss O'Brien…'

Charlotte snuck around, not realizing anyone was on to her. She stopped dead in her tracks as she neared the foyer. Hearing her father's thunderous voice just feet away, she ducked under a table. Isis whimpered as she pulled her under with her, the dog wanting to continue along instead. Charlotte peaked around the corner, unseen, surprised to find her father talking with her godmother, Mrs. Crawley.

"It was actually you I came to see, Carson." Isobel blinked.

Charlotte listened carefully, Isis' adorable puppy head poking out from under the table beside her. The dog began to pant happily.

"Shuuuu." Charlotte whispered, grimacing as the now happy dog licked her cheek.

Carson cleared his throat uncomfortably. "Mrs. Crawley … Any difference between Mr. Grigg and me is surely my concern. You do not have to put up with him for my sake."
"Oh but Carson I'm happy to. It's always good to help someone get back up on their feet." Matthew's mum smiled.

Charlotte nodded to herself, agreeing with this. She'd seen Mrs. Crawley and her mummy both do this before. Ethel came to mind as a prominent example, although she'd been very small during that time.

"Only, he keeps asking for you." Isobel offered.

"Well, then he shall ask in vein, Mrs. Crawley… I'm afraid I shall not come and see him."

Charlotte furrowed her brow, wondering why daddy's old friend should be staying with Mrs. Crawley and why he needed help. The little girl waited until her father showed Isobel out and left the area to come out from under the table. Isis then shook herself off as if covered in water and followed Charlotte back into the library.

"Why do you suppose daddy won't see him?" She asked, fully invested in conversing with the pup. "And how would he have come to be with Mrs. Crawleeee ow!"

Isis barked and Charlotte jumped when she ran into something.

"Are you looking for something m'lass?" Elsie asked kindly.

"Oh, hi mummy."

Elsie smiled, her keys jingling as she bent down. "What's my wee lass up to?"

"Nothing." She said, Isis barked in agreement.

"Hmmmm… If I didn't know better I'd say you two girls were doing a bit of spying on your daddy." Elsie teased. Charlotte shook her head and Isis whimpered in protest.

Charlotte bit her lip, feeling a bit stuck. She didn't like being caught. "But mummy, you spy!"

"Shuuuu my lass I do not." Elsie defended, knowing in her gut that this was true.

Neither of them noticed Thomas peering at them from around the corner, listening to mother and daughter carefully.

"Uh-huh…" Charlotte nodded, almost giggling. "Mummy why's daddy not like his friend? And how'd he come to be with Mrs. Crawley? That's odd."

"It's nothing to concern yourself with m'lass. How about you read a little while longer? I'll expect you back downstairs in time for supper."

"Okay." She sighed, disappointed.

Elise smiled, kissing her daughter's forehead and left.

Charlotte sighed heavily, plopping down on the ground, her head in her hand. "That's no fair I thought mummy would be of help."

"Of course she won't." Thomas remarked, coming out of the shadows.

Charlotte jumped, surprised. "Where did you come from?"

"What you really want to know is who is this Mr. Grigg, correct?" He asked and the child nodded. "Then you'd better hurry."

"What do you mean?" She squinted, not realizing he wanted to know too.

"I'll keep the pup." He said, clapping his hands, calling the dog over. She rushed to him excitedly, like Charlotte and Ben (but not Charlie) she cared for Thomas. "And you follow your mum to Mrs. Crawley's…"

"But I'm not allowed to…"

Charlotte stopped, realizing it made perfect sense that her mother had connected Mr. Grigg with Isobel. How did Thomas know these things? She was about to protest that she wasn't permitted to leave Downton's grounds by herself … But if she were following mummy, and could see mummy didn't that change things? That's what he was implying, wasn't it? Charlotte got up and started to run off, but came back, hugging Thomas' legs.

"Thank you!"

He smiled. "Your welcome Charlotte."

Thomas smiled smugly, now thinking he could persuade Charlotte to be his informant without her knowing what'd hit her. Isis waited a beat, then decided to follow the child, the dog's gut telling her to stand guard.

…..

Charlotte wasn't sure how she snuck through the green baize door and past Mrs. Patmore's kitchen without incurring a litany of questioning, or encountering someone who hoped to keep her from going out. Thankfully, the dinner hour was approaching which meant the kitchen staff was busy, the cook herself enthralled with whatever intricate cuisine she was in the middle of concocting.

As Thomas had guessed, the little girl got to the coat rack, finding her mother's coat and hat missing. 'Perfect.' She thought. 'I do get to follow mummy if I hurry cause… I don't really know how to get there.'

It was in that instant that seven-year-old Charlotte realized she was too short to get her coat off its hook. She jumped, trying her best to reach, finding she could pull on it, but not pull it off. Isis arrived at her feet, her tail wagging in eager expectation. She grabbed the end of the coat with her teeth and pulled too.

"Isis no you'll rip it and mummy will be mad!" She whispered.

Charlotte jumped, sensing jeopardy as Mrs. Patmore's angry voice grew closer and something crashed in the kitchen.

"Ooooh I have to hurry!" She whispered.

Isis barked.

"Shuuuu!" She cried.

Finally, Charlotte wasn't sure how, the coat fell into her hands. She looked up at her hat, lamenting that it was cold out and she couldn't reach. She looked toward the door, deciding the mission was worth foregoing the cap in question.

"Come on girl!" She whispered, commanding Isis to follow.

And with that, the two made their way out the back door.

….

It didn't take long for Charlotte's actions to overwhelm her. She'd never done such a big brave, stupid thing in all her life and she'd never disobeyed her parents: not to this magnitude. She knew she'd get in trouble the moment she stepped off the grounds on her own.

"Perhaps its alright. I've got a friend with me." She reasoned. Isis barked in the affirmative.

Charlotte had not caught sight of mummy, and so her original reasoning had gone out the window.

"Perhaps I've dog napped you, and Lord Grantham will be cross." She considered. The dog nuzzled her, licking her hand kindly.

Charlotte didn't know what fate awaited her, but she felt pushed to keep going.

"Do you know how to get to Mrs. Crawley's?" She asked. "I don't really."

…

Poor Charlotte didn't really have a plan, per se. But found herself assured of her abilities as she made her way into town. Charlotte didn't notice people stare at her as she walked, knowing full well who she was even if she did not know them.

Charlotte stopped, proud of herself when she reached Mrs. Crawley's. She stared up at the house, unsure how to approach, suddenly the door opened. She wasn't sure how she'd not seen it, her mother waiting to be let in. She gasped, trying to hide when she caught Mrs. Crawley's eye.

"Oh." Isobel smiled to Elsie. "I didn't know you were bringing Charlotte."

Elsie gasped, turning on a dime. Charlotte, unable to hide, giggled nervously.

…..

"Mrs. Crawley I'm sorry…. My are they growing up fast." Elsie apologized for her stowaway they sat down to tea with Isobel. "We've much to talk about m'lass." Elsie warned her daughter kindly. "Daddy won't be pleased."

Elsie was aghast, shocked that her child had followed her all the way into town. Charlotte bit her lip, wanting to remind her mother that she wouldn't dare tell her father what she'd done, after all he didn't know she was there either. But she stopped herself, knowing she shouldn't talk back.

"Well… Whatever the aim Charlotte is always welcome here." Isobel said kindly. "Provided she gets here In a way her mummy and daddy approve of." She said quickly, not wanting to ruffle Elsie's feathers.

Charlotte smiled, then turning to her mother: "Mummy I'm sorry. I'm. That is, Isis and I…" The dog whined, her ears perking up adorably. "Charlie and I." She corrected. "Wanted to know if Mr. Grigg is the other Charlie, the Cheerful one." She stopped just short of saying daddy couldn't possibly have been the cheerful one.

Elsie sighed at a loss for words ,"M'lass, I already told you it was nothing to concern yourself with. And yet you're here."

Isobel raised an eyebrow, gazing over at Elsie as if to suggest her attitude didn't reflect their shared values. Elsie sighed, knowing she was right. While she wanted to protect her husband and respect his wishes, did she really want Charlotte to be the person who would turn this man away, or did she want her to become the woman who'd lend a helping hand where it was needed? Elsie sighed.

Isobel smiled kindly, aiming to help, but not ruffle feathers. She was Charlotte's godmother, after all and felt the need to say something rather than nothing. "Mr. Grigg is simply someone your mother and I saw fit to help in his time of need. Nothing more. I expect your mummy has told you so much about helping people." Isobel bit her lip, again wanting to clarify, but not overstep.

Charlotte nodded. "But I heard daddy, he doesn't want to see Mr. Grigg."

Elsie sighed. "Oh Charlotte. Mrs. Crawley is right. I should tell you."

"I never said…" Isobel began.

"No." Elsie sighed. "You didn't say it, Mrs. Crawley but… I know what you meant."

Elsie held out her arms for her daughter and Charlotte drifted over. Elsie sighed, putting her hands on her little girl's hips, looking down into her eyes very solemnly. In the meantime, Isis drifted over to Isobel, placing her head on the lady's knees and whining a bit, wanting to be petted.

"My lass." Elsie began. "This is something your daddy would rather keep private. It'll be up to him, when he finds out, how much we will tell you."

"About the Charlies?"

"About the Charlies. Mr. Grigg is an old friend of your daddy's, from when he was a young man."

"Before mummy?"

"Well before mummy." She giggled. "But I'm afraid the two had a falling out. Mr. Grigg ran on some hard times and asked daddy for help… He wouldn't entertain it but. I wanted to right a wrong and figure out some things… And Mrs. Crawley was happy to help me."

"Even though daddy said no?" She asked carefully.

It actually wasn't a surprise that her mother had 'disobeyed' her father. Even at seven, she knew full well that some marriages worked this way and her parents union did not. Although he was authoritative, daddy did not control mummy. They had a shared interest in most things, a dynamic Elsie hoped would rub off on all her children. She didn't want her boys to be bullies in their marriages, and she didn't want her daughters to be anyone's property. Carson agreed completely.

"Even though he said no." Elsie nodded.

"It was the right thing, Charlotte." Isobel offered.

"Sometimes, doing the right thing is the scary thing, or even the thing we've been told not to do. But often, its the big, brave thing."

Elsie bit her lip, her heart already starting to forgive the child for her disobedience, knowing that if nothing else, she was primed to do the big brave thing.

For a time, Charlotte would feel that she was lost, or on track to nothing until she realized this was her purpose: to do the brave things everyone else was afraid to do.

…

Charlotte had been rather frustrated that she'd not been allowed to go up and see her father's friend. Instead, Mrs. Crawley's maid had taken her to the kitchen and given her ice cream to bide the time while her mother paid a visit.

When they left, Elsie took her daughter's hand, holding it tight as they walked home, Isis happily following along.

"Do not tell your da we've visited Mrs. Crawley." Elsie warned. "I will do that m'lass."

'So, I'm not in trouble?' Charlotte wondered first but said nothing.

Charlotte looked back at Mrs. Crawley's house as they walked away, her mother tugging her along. She didn't see anything at first, but then something caught her eye. She gasped, seeing a man gazing out the second story window. Her eyes went wide as saucers, noting she'd caught his eye as well. 'Oh!' She thought. 'That's him!'

"Sometimes Charlotte, when we do a big brave thing, we don't announce it to the world. Sometimes, we must explain later, but explain mummy will. We're always to be forthright, m'lass." Mrs. Hughes explained, not wanting her child to see her as a hypocrite.

Charlotte said nothing, staring at the man as she listened to her mother ramble.

"By the way m'lass… How'd you know I'd be here?"

"Thomas guessed so." She said innocently, her eyes still transfixed on Mrs. Crawleys' house.

"Oh he did… did he."

Elsie's tone sharpened, understanding that Thomas must also be trying to figure out who this man in the village was. She didn't know what made her more angry, that inquisition, or the fact that he'd tried to use her little girl to spy for him. He would get an earful, that was for sure!

Charlotte was too far away now to see Charlie Grigg chuckle to himself as he watched her.

"That old dog." He smiled.

He'd known there'd been something more to Mrs. Hughes' story than the explanation that she 'worked' with Charlie. He would tell anyone that Mrs. Hughes was a thoughtful, compassionate person, but there'd been simply too much feeling in her eyes and her voice when she spoke of Carson. Feeling she'd been unable to hide. He'd guessed that perhaps there was something more to the relationship than friendship but he would've never supposed she was his wife: not until he saw the child.

People in service didn't marry, did they? Well. Times were changing.

Grigg chuckled to himself as he watched Charlotte and her mother walk into the distance. Even from two floors up, he could see both Carsons in the girl and through her, he came to understand the familial puzzle definitively.

"Who would've thought Charlie, you the family man. Well." He thought sadly, considering his past mistakes both with Charlie and with Alice. "Better you than me, eh?"