HEY GUYS SO TO WARN YOU THERE'S AN OPENING SCENE OF AMBER RECOUNTING HER RAPE SO IF YOU WANT TO SKIP GO TO THE NEXT SCENE. THANK YOU AND I HOPE YOU ENJOY THIS CHAPTER.
Chapter 32: What We Leave Behind
SCENE: ANDREWS APARTMENT
(Amber is sitting at a table with her headphones on talking to a journalist named Julia King from the New York Times over Zoom on her laptop. She is recounting her story to the female journalist with Andrew sitting across from her for support as she gets to the night he last raped her)
Amber: And then he…he told me not to leave that we still had unfinished business. I knew what he was thinking at that point I could read his facial expressions and words and I knew at that moment he wanted to hurt me in the worst way he could.
Julia: And what happened then?
(Amber inhales and exhales shakily trying to gather the courage to say it. Andrew looks at her in pity and holds her hand. Amber calms slightly at his touch)
Julia: (Sympathetic) It's okay please take your time I'm not going anywhere.
Amber: (Swallows) Um…I told him no; I told him I wanted to leave that our…arrangement was done that night. I told him I would scream but he told me it was Greek week and that no one was in the floor but us. He told me "It's just us and I am going to enjoy every minute of our last night together." He ordered me to strip and I…I tried to get away.
Julia: Get away how?
Amber: I uh I tried to get to the door but he-he grabbed my arm and yanked me so hard my wrist broke. I tried to fight back I thrashed and I bit his hand when he covered my mouth and (Swallows) he grabbed my head and smashed it on his desk.
Andrew: (Squeezes her hand trying to keep his anger under control as he comforts her)
Amber: After-After that I was on the floor and in pain and he…he stood over me and told me "I wanted to go easy on you, you know? You did this not me." The next thing he kicked me in the face and I passed out… (Voice breaking) when I woke up my pants were around my ankles and my underwear was off. I was sore down there and I knew that he raped me while I was asleep.
Julia: (Nods) Okay and what happened after that? What did you do?
Amber: (Tears in her eyes) I got out of there as fast as I could. I…it was like my body was in control but my mind was somewhere else. I was able to walk by because it's New York and people don't give a shit and I went to Langone to get treated.
Julia: Was there a doctor that treated you? Did they keep a record of your visit and your injuries?
Amber: No I…I didn't want anyone to see me I just wanted to get some gauze and crawl back to my dorm and forget. I…I was in the supply closet getting sutures and alcohol prep when my friend who was doing her rotation walked in, she saw me and I passed out again. When I woke up, I was in a hospital bed in a private room and she was treating me for my injuries.
Julia: Did you do a rape kit and serology?
Amber: (Ashamed) No I was…I was broken that night it felt like a part of me died and…I felt ashamed like I deserved it.
Andrew: (Inhales and holds her hand tighter silently telling her it wasn't her fault with his eyes)
Julia: Amber listen to me, you did not deserve it. You did not ask for it and you didn't provoke him.
Amber: I know that now I didn't know it then. I…I thought if I went through my life and act like it didn't happen then maybe it could be true but seeing him in my place of work…I knew I couldn't keep this in for much longer. I can't live like this anymore; I can't let him control my decisions for the rest of my life. I moved across the country and turned down great job offers because I didn't want to see him ever again. I let what he did to me influence my actions but not anymore, I am doing this for me and for every other girl he has hurt. I want to come forward and give my story, can you do that for me? Can you get the word out?
Julia: (Thinks) I can, me and my team will have to do some investigating and get records of every female assistant Mance took under his wing in the last decade he's worked at NYU. We'll need at least three women who can give us full statements and permission to go on the record but if you're willing to let us use your name and give us permission to use you as a named source it will go much easier by telling them your story and encourage them to come forward as well.
Amber: (Taken back) Um look Julia I appreciate what you're doing for me I really am but I told you I don't want to go on the record. I can give you my story but not the year it happened or my name, it has to be anonymous.
Julia: Amber, I understand that your scared of what Mance will do but if he does anything in response I encourage you to call the police and give proof he is harassing you, emails, texts, voicemails all of these can help our cause.
Amber: I'm not afraid of Mance I'm terrified of what will be used against me to discredit me publicly. I'm a third-year resident and I don't want my little niece and nephew to read garbage about me.
Julia: I assure you that whatever tabliody story they come up with will pass as soon as you tell them it's not true. People will believe you if you make it clear-
Amber: Look my dad was an abusive drug addict who split years ago, my mom and older brother have schizophrenia, my oldest brother has been arrested for felony assault and I webcammed to support myself during med, ok? Mance doesn't need to make anything up because you can make a tell all book about every reason why I'm crazy enough to tell people my professor raped me. I don't want to go on the record and risk that happening to me and to my family. You can tell the other women my story but don't give them my name. I'm sorry Julia but my mind has been made up.
Julia: (Sighs) Okay I respect your decision but if you change your mind, you have my number okay?
Amber: Okay thank you, I wish you luck.
Julia: You too, bye.
(Julia signs off and Amber leans forward on the table exhaling. Andrew holds her hands in comfort)
Andrew: You did great.
Amber: (Sniffles) Thanks.
THE NEXT MORNING
SCENE: GREY SLOAN
(Amber and Andrew get past the screening tent and walk down the lobby)
Andrew: (Worried) Are you sure you're okay to work today? I mean it's no trouble with Bailey she says to take all the time you need to recover from last week.
Amber: And I appreciate that but I feel better going back to work than staying at my house agonizing over the messy process of sending my attacker to jail. Do you think I made the right decision not to come forward?
Andrew: (Things carefully) I want to see him in prison but I know it's your choice Amber, at the end of the day it's up to you and I will support what you want to do. Are you having doubts?
Amber: Yes, no, yes (Groans) I don't know I'm just a mess over this whole thing and telling my story over and over again is like throwing up acid. I mean on the one hand I want to let some poor girl know she's not the only one suffering but on the other I don't want to suffer more from gossipy bitches. God this is making me sick.
Andrew: Hey look at me. (Amber looks up) Whatever happens I will support you, okay? I'm not gonna judge you or tell you what you should do. I just think you need ask yourself what the right thing for you to do is.
Amber: (Looks at him grateful) I love you, I just…I would be a mess without you.
Andrew: And I would be on a bipolar tailspin or worse without you. If you could help me during that awful point in my life, I will help you during yours too.
Amber: (Grins and continues walking with Andrew) My knight in navy armor.
Andrew: (Chuckles lightly) I see those Disney princess movies your niece is making you watch are getting to you.
Amber: I'll take superhero night with Eli anytime but Mulan is actually not that bad. But Alex won't agree he prefers Aladdin for some reason.
Andrew: (Grins) So I take it things are getting better with you two? I mean after you let your feelings out and cried in the backyard for a whole hour?
Amber: Um things are still tense but yeah, they're getting better. I mean I told him that it wasn't his fault but it can only do so much for the guilt he feels.
Andrew: Just give him time, it's hard for him too, it's hard for all of us.
Amber: I know. Can we not talk about this anymore? I just want to go work with Pierce and be a normal resident today, can you let me do that?
Andrew: Of course, but I'm here if you want to talk or eat donuts or whatever.
Amber: (Grins) Thank you.
(Maggie approaches them with a grim look on her face. Amber recognizes it behind the mask)
Amber: What's wrong?
Maggie: I'm sorry Amber but you've been stolen from my service today. You're not working cardio today.
Amber: What? Who am I working for then?
Maggie: …Tom Koracick.
Amber: (Groans in disgust)
Andrew: Are we sure about this? It could be a mistake.
Amber: It's not, he's punishing me by taking me away and abusing me as he sees fit. I had to see my punishment coming sooner or later.
Maggie: Punishment for what?
Amber: I uh might have sort of…snapped at him the day of the protests and called him a jackass when he was working on Nick after he was attacked. There might have also been a threat of strangulation involved, I think.
Andrew: You think or know?
Amber: Know I'm just trying to save myself from looking awful and insubordinate. And the fact that he barely survived covid a month ago isn't helping my image either.
Andrew: (Exhales) Can she be on my service instead? I'll put nurse Ruth from neuro at his beck and call instead. He hates her so I think he'll get his fill of revenge with her instead.
Maggie: You and I both know we can't steal residents from one another even in a pandemic. Besides Ruth is quarantining in a hotel she tested positive two days ago.
Amber: Aww poor Ruth I hope she pulls through.
Maggie: You and me both. Okay just keep your head down and do your work. If he gives you more trouble than that come to me instead of adding more to your punishment got it?
Amber: Got it, thanks.
(Maggie walks away from them and Andrew looks at Amber with worry)
Andrew: Are you gonna be okay?
Amber: Yeah, it's nothing I took time off to get away from a toxic alpha male and today I'm gonna be berated all day by another one. It's just the usual Karev luck, it's nothing new.
Andrew: Hey if he makes you feel even slightly triggered just say the word and I will fire his ass and throw him out physically just for your pleasure.
Amber: I appreciate that but you're a first year attending you barely have any power here much less than the man who saved Catherine Fox's life.
Andrew: Well, I saved Richard's life and he's the chief of chiefs so I have more leverage than him.
Amber: (Teasing) Mmm a humble man in power, now that is very sexy.
Andrew: (Grins) God why couldn't you have been on my service?
Amber: Because the world is against us. (Gets page from Koracick) I gotta go.
Andrew: Keep me posted.
Amber: I will, lots of kisses.
Andrew: A lot more kisses back.
(Amber winks at Andrew and walks away to head to the lounge)
LATER
SCENE: CONFERENCE ROOM
(Amber enters the room to find Koracick arranging papers in a folder wearing a suit)
Amber: Dr. Koracick before we work today I just want to apologize for my behavior the other day it was completely unprofessional and it won't happen again. Now I heard that nurse Ruth is in quarantine so-
Koracick: (Cold) Ruth is dead.
Amber: (Shocked) …What?
Koracick: (Still arranging papers) She died last night; the hotel staff found her and was pronounced DOA.
Amber: (Sad) Oh my god Koracick I am so sorry.
Koracick: (Harsh) You don't have to fake it 2.
Amber: (Taken back) I'm not faking it; she was a very sweet woman.
Koracick: (Frustrated) She was a freaking howitzer is what she was. She told every attending what they did wrong like she knew better like she suddenly got a medical degree and choose to play nurse. There wasn't a day that went by I didn't want to rip out one of her varicose veins and strangle her with it.
Amber: Okay I don't think you're in touch with how you're really feeling right now.
Koracick: How I'm feeling is that she left me high and dry like she always did.
Amber: (Eyebrow raised) You expected her to keep working here after death?
Koracick: (Slaps binder on table in front her her) Look at this. It's her entire estate and will laid out on paper. She couldn't manage my surgical calendar but this crap she plans within an inch of her life.
Amber: (Takes binder) And you requested me to make sure these things are bequeathed properly?
Koracick: (Frustrated) 2 you can hold an auction in the lobby and sell her priceless figurines to the highest bidder for all I care just get it done. I have to go find the perfect urn to throw her ashes off the top of the building.
Amber: (Horrified) She requested that?
Koracick: (Cold) No she wanted her ashes to be spread on the beaches of Hawaii. She dreamed of taking a vacation there in life but hell if she's gonna get it after death with travel restrictions and everything. And there is no way I'm having a dead woman in my office, are you willing to have her in bed with you playing footsie with Blandrew?
Amber: (Wide eyes) Wow thanks for the visual now I have something to think about when I need to diet off junk food. Okay I will take care of her papers but you're not throwing her ashes off the building without me, is there a memorial set up?
Koracick: Hellmouth and Tim from IT are taking care of it. I have to find the right urn, just get it done and keep your ringer on, I might need you.
Amber: (Lies) I can't wait.
(Koracick leaves Amber with the huge binder wondering what her life has come to)
LATER
SCENE: RESIDENTS LOUNGE
(Amber is sitting at the table with the binder spread out talking to an estate administrator on the phone)
Amber: Okay when will the movers be there? …okay thank you…no she had no living relatives she requested her items not listed in her will be donated to charity…thank you bye.
(Amber hangs up just as Andrew knocks on the door and enters)
Andrew: Hey (Looks at mess) What is this?
Amber: It's my task for the day Koracick gave me this binder and right now I have to talk to someone named Sherry who is apparently an escrow holder whatever that is.
Andrew: (Angry) Koracick is making you his real estate agent? There are people dying and he is using your skills to help himself and his property investments instead of saving people and stopping the spread of this virus? God this bastard is-
Amber: (Sad) Andrew, Ruth passed away last night. I've been helping with her dying wishes.
Andrew: (Stops and looks at Amber surprised) Ruth died? (Amber nods) That's terrible.
Amber: I thought you couldn't stand her. I mean you complained to me about her ever since you became an attending.
Andrew: Well, you would've been sad if Koracick died of this damn thing and you hate him. How is he holding up?
Amber: (Purses lips) In his usual Koracick way.
Andrew: Got it well do you need any help?
Amber: That depends, did you study real estate at any point in your life and mastered handling dead people's properties?
Andrew: I'm afraid not.
Amber: Then you're of no help to me right now. I'll be fine I'll muscle through it, it's the least that Ruth deserves. She baked me cookies once you know.
Andrew: (Furrows eyebrows) She baked you cookies?
Amber: Yeah, she said I was the best resident of my and this is a quote 'degenerative and over sensitive generation' she said they were her grandma's recipe and that she never baked them for anyone except herself.
Andrew: Well…I was a resident during that time too and she never made me-
Amber: (Glares at Andrew)
Andrew: (Hears himself) And yes, I realize I am judging why a dead woman didn't think I was the best resident at the time and I am stopping.
Amber: Good. (Gets back to binder)
Andrew: (Can't contain himself) Were they good?
Amber: (Nods) Chocolate chip with walnuts, it was a secret recipe.
Andrew: …She never baked me cookies that's all I'm saying.
Amber: (Looking at binder) Walk away.
Andrew: Okay.
(Andrew walks away from the lounge leaving Amber to continue her work)
LATER
SCENE: RESIDENTS LOUNGE
(Amber gets frustrated looking over Ruth's legal forms she groans loudly. Nick knocks on the door and enters the room in his casual wear)
Nick: Hey.
Amber: (Looks up) Hey what are you doing here? Shouldn't you be resting?
Nick: I have been resting for the past four days, nine hours and (Checks watch) 34 minutes. Captain Bishop gave me a week off even though my concussion subsided on day 2.
Amber: (Back to binder) You were hit with a beer bottle be thankful it wasn't serious enough for four weeks bedrest. Is that why you're here? Are you trying to get in on the action on the other side of your calls?
Nick: No, I'm here to get lunch with Levi, he's trying to get me into breadmaking to pass the time.
Amber: (Grins) Maybe pass the time looking for a place to live instead of spending a fortune on room service. You've been here for a month and you still don't have an apartment.
Nick: (Raises eyebrow) Says the girl who lived in a motel before moving in with her brother.
Amber: (Rants) Hey rent is expensive and despite the myths I don't make that much. The medical board is less accommodating than the city, especially now when all our resources are going to slowing the spread of covid. And then there's the positions we have to fill because doctors and nurses either quit from exhaustion, are getting deported or dying because of this thing that never should have happened.
Nick: (Senses bigger problems) Bad day?
Amber: Bad week. One of my bosses put me in charge of one of the nurse's properties and will forms and I don't understand any of this crap.
Nick: This is for a nurse?
Amber: Yeah, nurse Ruth she died of covid last night and Koracick and I are in charge of her dying wishes for some reason.
Nick: Oh, damn I'm sorry.
Amber: Thanks, I'm just trying to get her affairs in order but it's a mess of real estate terms I don't understand. Do you know how to cancel a fixed rate mortgage for a dying woman who made about 70K a year?
Nick: That depends are we talking about a 15 or 30 year term and what kind of loan did she acquire?
Amber: (Looks up surprised by Nick's knowledge) How do you know all that?
Nick: (Shrugs) I dated a 26-year-old aspiring real estate agent back in Miami and I was her study buddy. (Chuckles) Let me tell you that woman screaming 20 percent income during climax was oddly hot.
Amber: (Smiles sweetly) Are you still on bedrest?
Nick: Yeah, I've got a few days left and I am crawling up the walls why?
Amber: Because maybe helping your darling sister settle her difficult tasks might get out of your boredom.
Nick: Uh I actually came here for lunch with Levi and-
Amber: A nurse is dead and these real estate bitches are worried over what it will do to their income. Help me Nick, help Ruth.
Nick: (Caves) …Damn your good.
(Nick sits in front of Amber who gives him half the papers)
Nick: (Grabs papers) How are you doing by the way? With…Mance?
Amber: (Sighs) I'm fine…or I'm not fine I'm trying to be fine. I'm just getting by the day and trying to save lives but instead I'm arranging things after the death of one. Leave it to Tom Koracick to add more to my misery. I hate him.
Nick: Yeah I was concussed but I remember you threatening to kill him even though he is your boss and could fire you.
Amber: Yeah, I'd like to see the bastard try. He and Mance think that because they have power and their names are all over the medical community that means they can get away with taking advantage of people. I swear that man has no idea the kind of pain I have been through and he never will because unlike us he gets handed things to him instead of working his wrinkly ass to earn it. Did I mention that I hate him?
Nick: Extensively but hey if you want to rant about toxic workplaces and toxic alphas, I'm your guy. Trust me I have stories that will make you flashback to the Harvey Weinstein era.
Amber: We're still in that era just with the other Weinstein's…I talked to a journalist last night, I told her my story and their gonna launch an investigation into Mance.
Nick: Oh that's good.
Amber: Yeah it would be but I declined to give them my name and the year I worked for him.
Nick: Well I'm sure someone else will come forward with their name and the story will still be published.
Amber: Right but I'm thinking about how long it will be and how many women Mance is assaulting during that time. I-I want to speed up the process but I don't want to put myself or my family through that hell. My mom is gonna go off her meds and my brother, Aaron, is gonna get in his truck and run over Mance himself. Not to mention the hate I'm gonna get from fellow doctors who worship Mance, you think they're gonna believe me over a medical marvel?
Nick: They will once they realize that medical marvel is a rapist.
Amber: (Shakes her head) It's a classic he said, she said and those hardly go smooth especially for the victims coming forward. Your young you don't know the biased assholes that are gonna come after me.
Nick: Right, what do I know, I was just a diversity hire for an all-white station that made fun of my ethnicity and sexuality.
Amber: (Feels bad) I'm sorry I didn't mean it like that. I'm just so torn up over this. (Phone beeps and Amber looks) Ugh and the old boy network is requesting me right this second.
Nick: Koracick?
Amber: Yeah, he says he needs me to pick out an urn for the old bat and that's a quote right there. On the bright side if I kill him at a funeral home, arrangements will be made quickly. (Stands up) Wish me luck.
Nick: Luck in picking out an urn or killing your boss?
Amber: Yes.
(Amber grabs her purse and leaves Nick to the binder)
LATER
SCENE: SEATTLE FUNERAL HOME
(Koracick looks around the room annoyed by the urn options. Amber walks in wearing her casual clothes after getting paged by him)
Amber: I came as fast as I could, what's going on?
Koracick: (Frustrated) What's going on is they're trying to screw me and I need you to be bad cop.
Amber: (Confused) What?
Funeral director: Have you made a decision sir?
Koracick: (Rude) No I haven't made a decision you con artist dealer of death.
Amber: (Tries to rectify) Okay sir I think my boss and I need another minute.
Koracick: No we don't. I don't need another minute to see that this urn looks like a pot from Lowe's, this looks like a lamp from the Marriott and this looks like something this subpar resident made in Color Me Mine. You are lucky that I don't take this mockery of a resting place and shove it up your ass.
Amber: (To director) I am so sorry. Koracick that is enough now apologize to the man.
Koracick: (Angry) No I'm not gonna apologize. I've been handling this bullshit for six hours for a woman who's supposed to be handling things for me.
Amber: Okay obviously this is not about the urn.
Koracick: (Angry) Oh don't give me that touchy feely shit and why the hell are you not being bad cop?
Amber: Because that's not what you need.
Koracick: (Angry) Oh bullshit it's not what I need!
Amber: Tom please-
Koracick: (Deflects) You don't care about me you never cared about me! All you care about is yourself! (Amber's eyes widen) And your stupid cookie recipes and your Hummel figurines and your General Hospital reruns! And-
Amber: (Yells) Tom I am not Ruth!
Koracick: (Stops and realizes what he said)
Amber: (Gentle) She's gone…and it's gonna be okay.
Koracick: (Angry) She was a howitzer!
(Koracick's face breaks into sadness as he finally tears up and looks away. Amber is taken back by his sadness but walks toward him sharing in his pain as well)
Koracick: (Crying) But she was my howitzer.
Amber: (Nods) I know, I miss her too.
Koracick: (Cries) Oh she didn't just leave me high and dry she left me for good.
(Amber eyes glisten as Koracick sits on a bench and she rubs his back trying to comfort him as he continues to cry)
CUT TO BLACK
SCENE: RESIDENTS LOUNGE
(Levi enters the lounge surprised to find Nick sitting at the table talking on the phone)
Nick: Look the water needs to be shut off by the end of the day or her account is gonna be drained for not reason…well can't you make an exception for a nurse who died of covid? …No you know what up yours! (Angrily hangs up)
Levi: What did I walk into?
Nick: A reason why I didn't get into real estate and property dealing. Amber left me with this crap Ruth needed settled after she died and it's exhausting taking care of the property of a dead woman.
Levi: Well real estate is dying so they need all the money they can steal from dead people. I take it we're not doing lunch then.
Nick: At this point I will be lucky to finish by Christmas.
Levi: Well then let's make it to Halloween instead, I can help if you want.
Nick: (Pffts and puts papers in front of him) Done.
Levi: …You know people usually say, 'oh no I couldn't ask you to do that, I can handle this on my own.'
Nick: And that would be great if I could now help me, please. I'll do that thing with my tongue tonight. Twice.
Levi: (Wide eyes and sits down) What have we got?
(Nick shows Levi the papers and they work together)
LATER
SCENE: SEATTLE FOOD TRUCKS
(Amber and Koracick are sitting in a bench eating tacos from one of the trucks)
Koracick: (Tries taco and moans in pleasure) You were right street meat is better than steak at a five star restaurant.
Amber: I told you and it's even better with half a bottle of hot sauce.
Koracick: I'm not out of the woods after covid so I'm taking less risks but you can enjoy all the hot sauce you want because you are young and vibrant. God I hate you.
Amber: The feelings mutual from me and Ruth.
(They look at the white granite urn next to them filled with Ruth's ashes)
Koracick: Maybe we should've picked her up after we ate.
Amber: (Takes a bite) I lived in New York, it's not the first time I ate next to a dead body.
Koracick: Even so it's creepy and I'm sure Ruth is loving that she's torturing me even in death.
Amber: (Curious) …Can I ask you something? You and Ruth…did you sleep together?
Koracick: (Glares at her) Why is it your generation is so obsessed with sex and that's the first thing that came to your mind when I showed feelings for a dead woman?
Amber: Because it's you.
Koracick: Well, that's mean.
Amber: Oh, please the first time I met you, you hit on me and my girlfriend and suggested a three-way with us in the same sentence.
Koracick: Fine I'll give you that one as for your question no, me and Ruth did not sleep together. I think she would rather die again than experience that recurring nightmare she had. The same goes for me too, I would sooner have sex with a carcass than her although it would've been the same thing.
Amber: (Looks at Koracick and the urn)
Koracick: I shouldn't talk about her like this, it feels like I'm just bashing on some helpless dead woman.
Amber: You are, it's what you've been doing all morning.
Koracick: Well, she bashed me to my face and we don't bully nurses so when do I get this chance?
Amber: (Shakes her head) I'm not sure I should be here with you my boyfriend might get the wrong idea. You don't exactly have a good record with other men's girlfriends, and sisters and daughters.
Koracick: Oh, and what is your little boyfriend gonna do? Punch me in the parking lot? I gotta admit that took guts especially from Blandrew.
Amber: (Confused) Wait what? Andrew punched someone in the parking lot who?
Koracick: The smug surgeon Mance who thinks he's above me of all people.
Amber: (Stops eating) He punched Mance?
Koracick: Yes, a few days after your brother punched him in the face and broke his nose.
Amber: …Let me guess your gonna ask me if it's what you think it is.
Koracick: Oh no it's clear as day what it is. If it was just your boyfriend, I would think ex.
Amber: (Scoffs)
Koracick: But your brother who raised you and loved you marching in the middle of the bridge and punching the life out of that son of a bitch threatening to murder him makes it clear as day. At least tell me this, did Karev hurt him as much as he hurt you?
Amber: …I wish.
Koracick: (Looks at her in pity) He should've ripped his head off, it's what I would've done if it was my daughter.
Amber: You have kids?
Koracick: I did, a son his name was David and he died when he was ten from a baseball of all things. And before we had him my ex-wife Dana miscarried twice, once at 10 weeks and the next at 18 weeks which was…it was agony for both of us.
Amber: …I'm sorry.
Koracick: You know if we carried to term the first time our kid would've been your age right now. I hoped for a daughter because I mean little girls love their daddies more than anything you know.
Amber: I wouldn't, I hated mine more than anything.
Koracick: Right…aren't we quite the pair. A child without a father and a father without a child.
Amber: We should write a book together; we would make a fortune.
Koracick: (Chuckles lightly) We really would.
Amber: …Can I ask you something? As a father?
Koracick: Sure.
Amber: …If you had a daughter and…she went through what happened to me, what would you want her to do?
Koracick: I'd want her to point me to the bastard that hurt her so I can castrate him and then I'd cut out his heart and gift wrap it for her.
Amber: Right but what about coming forward and telling her story? Would you want her to do that? Would you want her to go through that scrutiny and being under a microscope?
Koracick: (Understands) You're thinking about backing out, aren't you?
Amber: I…I don't want this to define me and…if I tell them what happened it will. I just want to get in a time machine and stop myself from applying for that damn grant.
Koracick: Even if it means letting some other poor girl go through that horror instead of you? Because that's what would've happened. Could you live with yourself knowing there's another you out there scared and looking over her shoulder for that monster not knowing there's a chance to sleep at night?
Amber: Of course, not I just…I just don't know what to do.
Koracick: (Sighs) …You know, I lost, uh, six roommates when I was being treated for covid. Three were husbands and fathers, one was, uh one's single, one was very happily divorced, and one came and went so fast, you know, I didn't even get a name. And the thing I noticed was I was the only white guy. I know I'm not exactly out of the woods, but I just felt like I owed it to them to be better, you know? I'm trying to figure out how I can be better and do more for this broken world and the way I see it you found a way to do that for you and all the other women who want some semblance of justice and peace.
Amber: (Looks at Koracick in awe)
Koracick: If my daughter wanted to take a chance to stop one man from hurting young girls in the future. I would tell her to go for it and to stop letting him hold her back from her own bravery. This thing is gonna define you for the rest of your life no matter what you do Karev, it's a part of you the question is are you gonna let it define someone else too?
(Amber looks down in thought and leans back sighing)
LATER
SCENE: RESIDENTS LOUNGE
(Nick plops on the couch exhausted after finishing the papers as well as Levi who plops next to him)
Levi: (Sighs) It shouldn't be this difficult to get arrangements made for a nurse who died of covid. I mean you think people would be more sympathetic.
Nick: Nope people are assholes especially during a crisis. I mean what else do you expect? The economy is worse than the recession and the only jobs left are Amazon and digging graves. And unlike some we don't have medical degrees.
Levi: Or license to run into fires.
Nick: There's not a license, it's training and then you get a badge when you pass the physical and written exams. (Groans) I need to do something otherwise I'm gonna take up badminton just to keep myself busy.
Levi: (Chuckles) Well hey we're always looking for volunteers here. You wouldn't be the only first responder who would lend us a hand.
Nick: (Grins) Is this your way of trying to get me to lend you a hand during work?
Levi: (Amused) I am just trying to keep the hospital from falling apart, not everything has to be an ulterior motive for mind-blowing sex.
Nick: (Eyebrows raised) Mind-blowing huh? Well, I guess I found something to do while I'm on bedrest for the next three days.
Levi: (Grins in lust) Really? Well don't let me stop you, just say the word and I'll call in sick too.
Nick: (Chuckling) Yeah?
Levi: (Grins) Yeah.
(Nick giggles as he kisses Levi who responds. Andrew knocks on the door and enters to find them kissing)
Andrew: Whoa sorry I thought Amber was here.
Levi: (Pulls back) Yeah no sorry she's with Koracick.
Andrew: (Groans) What does that POS want from her?
Nick: (Shrugs) Urn picking he says.
Levi: I'm surprised he's picking an urn instead of keeping Ruth in a cardboard box.
Andrew: Yeah, that's something Koracick would do. Okay let me know if you see her so I can either comfort her or punch Koracick and no fooling around you two. God knows what's in this room right now.
(Andrew leaves them in the lounge and they groan at losing their chance to fool around)
Levi: (Looks at Nick) Your place?
Nick: Sure, come on.
(Levi and Nick quickly stand up and leave the room)
LATER
SCENE: ATTENDINGS LOUNGE
(Amber is drinking water when Andrew walks in and finds her)
Andrew: Hey how did it go?
Amber: Good we picked out a good urn for Ruth and Koracick is already looking into flights to Maui so he can drop her off there.
Andrew: He changed his mind?
Amber: Yeah, he couldn't throw her off the roof after she got him to cry. I'm glad too if it was me, I would rather be spread on Union Lake from the bridge.
Andrew: For me it would be the beach where my mom took me and Carina before my dad separated us.
Amber: Good to know for what will hopefully be a very distant future.
Andrew: Me too. I know a day with Koracick isn't what you needed your first day back and I'm sorry.
Amber: Please stop saying your sorry for things that are not your fault. I know you feel bad about putting me through hell when I had this torment in mind but you didn't know I didn't want you to know. Plus, the mania wasn't something either of us asked for, stop blaming yourself for that because I don't, not anymore.
Andrew: (Touched) Thanks, it means a lot coming from you.
Amber: Yeah…and besides I think I needed this day with Koracick more than I thought. I think I needed the distraction more than I thought.
Andrew: (Surprised) Really? And here I was worried you would be triggered spending the day with that guy. I mean he's not exactly respectful of women or keeping their sex lives private.
Amber: Yeah I thought the same thing too but…he's just a guy who's been through a pain so unimaginable just like me. I think bonding with him and knowing that he and I weren't so different is what I needed. In fact…I'm really trying to think through my decision to not give out my name thanks to him. I…I know your angry at him, I know you want him to suffer and I appreciate that you're not pushing me to do that.
Andrew: (Sighs and stands in front of her) Look I don't know how to do this and I'm just trying to help you as best as I can. I mean there's no instruction manual on how to help the woman you love after she went through a sexual trauma it…it kills me that I wasn't there when you needed help the most. You know if I was there, I would have done everything I could to heal you, to help you, to love you. But I wasn't so being here now is the best I can do.
Amber: (Looks at him with tears glistening in her eyes) You being here for me now is exactly what I need.
(Andrew looks at Amber in awe before kissing her forehead and looking deep into her eyes)
Andrew: I love you.
Amber: I love you. (Breathes in) Okay let's go to the lobby, Koracick needs us.
Andrew: (Surprised) Okay what dimension is this? You like Koracick now?
Amber: Like is a strong word tolerate maybe and definitely not enough to leave a porn voicemail for you in the O.R.
Andrew: Oh well that's a relief, I think I might ask Hunt to kill him with me if that happens.
Amber: (Chuckles lightly) My knight in navy armor, come on lets go.
(Amber and Andrew leave the lounge)
LATER THAT NIGHT
SCENE: LOBBY
(Koracick is standing next to Ruth's urn with a basket full of white roses next to her. A crowd of people are gathered around along with a camera for the virtual memorial. Amber and Andrew are in the front of the crowd listening to Koracick's eulogy)
Koracick: Look I'm not gonna sugarcoat this because I know Ruth dished out more than what we asked for in life and death. She was a tough old bag; she always had a way of making herself look smarter than the rest of us. The one time I asked for a ten blade she gave me a fifteen because she claimed it would be quicker and easier. I hated that she was right at the time, I hated her seasonal sweaters, her ability to make me angrier at her every time we worked together. But the thing I hated most about her was her favorite story about how Carl Reiner asked her to marry him in 1973. (To Ruth) I mean we get it, you were hot. (Amber and Andrew look at each other amused) You turned him down it was the biggest regret of your life. And like everything you've ever said, I couldn't stand it at the time but now that your gone…I understand what you meant. Don't waste this time. Don't let something good walk by you when you know there's a chance you could claim it and never let it go.
(Andrew looks at Amber lovingly and holds her hand)
Koracick: Life is short and it can pass by you so quickly and then it's over. And I'm not gonna let another minute pass by without letting you know how I feel about you. (Tears in his eyes and looks at the urn) We love you Ruth, thank you for being there when we most needed you.
(The camera turns off and the crowd disperses. Amber squeezes Andrew's hand before approaching Koracick)
Amber: It was a beautiful ceremony, unusual but just right for Ruth.
Koracick: Thank you.
Amber: So, you're gonna keep her until you find a boat to Hawaii?
Koracick: I think keeping me company and annoying me a little while longer is what she neglected to write in her will.
Amber: (Scoffs) Yeah, she really hated you…but she would've appreciated what you did for her and for me.
Koracick: 2-I mean Amber, I can't thank you enough for what you did.
Amber: Your welcome Tom and here I thought you didn't know my name or you just thought of me as cattle.
Koracick: I think of all residents as cattle until one of them surprises me and I see them for exactly who they are. I suppose this means you don't hate my guts anymore.
Amber: I'm getting there. Hopefully I don't spite you until the day I die like Ruth.
Koracick: (Chuckles) One can hope. What about you? How are things in your dark as hell life right now?
Amber: Oddly thanks to you not so dark. I don't know if I want to be a named source but thanks to your advice, I'm gonna think through it. I don't know, hopefully I can do more for this broken world like you want to do.
Koracick: You will, your stronger than me and you're not gonna let ignorant white guys like me and Mance stand in your way.
Amber: Thank you…but for the record as of right now, you're on a higher bar than that piece of trash ever will be. I just thought you should know there's one person who thinks that even if you don't.
Koracick: (Touched and reaches into his pocket and pulls out a letter) Your brother from another mother found this in Ruth's pile and it was addressed to you.
Amber: (Surprised and takes it) Really?
Koracick: Yeah, believe it or not she liked one doctor in this hospital and it wasn't me. I hope it's not Blockbuster stock or RadioShack.
Amber: Thank you, I'll see you tomorrow.
(Amber walks away from Tom and heads over to talk to Taryn. Andrew walks over to Koracick who suspects ulterior motives from him)
Koracick: Look relax Blandrew it's nothing you need to worry about. It's just two formal rivals having an amicable conversation for the second time. Besides I think I am the very last person she would cheat on you with.
Andrew: Yeah, I know she's made it clear she would rather have a thorn sided dildo than you in her.
Koracick: Wow that's a bloody yet arousing image I didn't have before.
Andrew: (Chuckles lightly) Look I wanted to say thank you for talking with her today and helping her. I mean I'm upset that it wasn't me who did that but if it means helping her lessen her suffering, I'm glad it was someone else.
Koracick: Even me?
Andrew: (Shrugs) We all have our moments. Okay I'm gonna head home, try not to drop Ruth on the floor.
Koracick: If I did, she would haunt me from hell for eternity and three years with her equaled to that thank you.
(Andrew leaves and approaches Amber who has a smile on her face after reading the letter)
Amber: Hey.
Andrew: Hey, what's with the happy face?
Amber: Well, you remember how you complained about how Ruth never made you cookies?
Andrew: I mean I didn't really complain I just wondered why she didn't.
Amber: That's complaining honey.
Andrew: Fine, what about that?
Amber: Well, she left me her recipe in her will and I have it in my hand.
Andrew: (Shocked) Wow, who knew Ruth had a soft side.
Amber: Yeah not really.
Andrew: What do you mean? She left you the recipe.
Amber: It's a note that has the name of the cookie in a bag mix plus the two cups of sugar she added. Even Jazz could make it.
Andrew: (Amused) Well hey if you can make it then maybe you can make those cookies Ruth owes me from being the best resident in my class.
Amber: (Raises eyebrow)
Andrew: Before you came of course.
Amber: Uh huh come on let's go so I can make you those cookies, it's the least Ruth owes me for helping her and making sure Koracick didn't throw her at a bunch of nurses and residents.
(Andrew grins and holds Amber's hand walking her out of the hospital)
SO I HOPE YOU ENJOYED THIS CHAPTER AND SEEING AMBER AND KORACICK GETTING ALONG, REVIEWS ARE WELCOME.