Chapter 23 Listen to Your Heart

After Ludwig left the house, Aria just stood in place for a little bit. Every single last thing that Ludwig had laid on her in the last ten minutes were so heavy that she could physically feel their weight. And the more time she spent actually thinking about these revelations, the heavier the weights felt. She did a few deep breaths, all while keeping her eyes locked on the floor.

"I can't believe this," she muttered a loud.

Now sure, on some level, it made sense. This was especially true in regards to her nightmares. The explanation Ludwig had given to her as to why she was having these dreams had made everything crystal clear, and honestly, on some level, she was thankful that they weren't the cause of some demon setting up camp in her body. So, in that regard, Aria felt a little relieved.

Emphasis on a little, however, as that silver lining was part of a very big, very dark, very heavy storm cloud. Thinking about how Ludwig had killed her, all the way back when he was seven years old, was shocking. That was really the best way to describe how Aria felt at the moment; shocked. To think that this was the guy she had been hanging out with for the past few days. To think that this was the guy she regarded as a close friend. To think that this was the guy who she had a crush on, and had hoped that their relationship would develop into something more.

She didn't know how to feel. The only emotion running through her mind was the shock. Other emotions showed up in the form of wispy vapors, so thin that she couldn't really get that good of a grasp on them. She shook her head, on some level not really knowing how to feel.

After a little bit, she decided that she needed to sit down. After all, she still felt the weight of these revelations, and they made her feel like she weighed over a thousand pounds. Anytime or anyway she could rest and therefore relieve herself of these burdens would be much appreciated. So, with slow, careful steps, she made her way into the living room. As she took a seat on the fluffy, comfy couch, her mind finally managed to get a good grasp on everything. And when she did…

She felt betrayed. That was the most prominent emotion in her mind, and it made her never want to get up from the couch. She didn't want to talk to Ludwig again. If he could destroy an entire city as a seven year old, there was no telling what else he was capable of. Sure, he had confirmed that he had gone back in time to stop the event. Despite how impossible some people might view this from the outset, it did make her feel a little better. If Ludwig was willing to do that for her, then maybe…

Oh man. Now she was so confused. She didn't know what she wanted. She didn't even know how she felt about Ludwig anymore. By all means, she should hate him. Sure, she shouldn't hate him so much that she wanted to spit and urinate on his grave, but she should hate him enough to stay far away from him. She should avoid him like the plague, she should never want to see his face again.

But that's not how she felt.

Aria sighed and sunk even deeper into the couch. Despite the reveal, she still felt highly of Ludwig. She still wanted to be with him. She still felt happy imagining his smile, still felt her heart flutter whenever she imagined his laugh. That beautiful, sweet, happy laugh. Was there a sweeter sound in the world? Was there a sweeter koopa in the world?

Aria whimpered. She didn't know the answer to the question, or even if she should be thinking about Ludwig in that fashion. Again, every single part of her was deathly confused. She didn't know what to do. She didn't know what to think. She didn't know what to feel.

She groaned and put her hand to her head, all at once experiencing the most excruciating and painful headache she had felt in years. What should she do? She wanted answers! She wanted to know exactly how to approach this situation; this horrible, impossible situation that nobody - absolutely nobody - had ever been in before! What could she do? She wished there was someone she could turn to for answers, but she didn't even know if she could get the proper counseling….

Bring bring!

Aria blinked, for a minute feeling frozen in place. What if that call was from Ludwig? What if he was calling to make her think a certain way, to lead her down a road that wouldn't be good for her to travel down? That possibility made her tremble, She almost didn't want to get her phone for fear that she would see Ludwig's name written in that white text.

Bring bring!

Oh, but she couldn't not answer the phone! That ringing would probably just continue, therefore making her headache all the worse. While taking in a deep, shaky breath, she reached in, pulled the phone out of her hammerspace…

And breathed a sigh of relief. It was her father, not Ludwig. That was great… yet so disappointing. Why did she feel so disappointed about that? These emotions, as well as the fact that she didn't have a clear cut answer to that question, only proved to make her feel more confused. It took a lot of willpower for her to answer the phone and not collapse into a puddle of uncertainty.

"Hi Daddy."

"Hey sweetheart!" Smoky's voice came through the speaker. "I just wanted to check in. How are you doing?"

Aria bit her lip. "I've been better."

"Oh? Did anything happen?"

Aria hesitated, not knowing what would be wise to reveal. Eventually, she shook her head. "It doesn't matter." She leaned forward on the couch. "'How are you doing' is the real question."

Smoky laughed. "I'm doing just fine! It's a beautiful day here! It's cold, but then again, what would you expect when it comes to a city like Frostwall?"

The mention of her home city triggered something in Aria. She shook, her mind going straight back to recalling her nightmares. Trying her best to push those thoughts to the side, she readjusted her position on the couch.

"That's great."

"Yeah," Smoky said. The next couple moments were spent in silence. Smoky didn't talk at all, which ignited concern within Aria.

"Daddy, is everything okay?"

Smoky stayed quiet for about half a minute more before finally speaking. "I… I have a confession to make Ari. I did have an ulterior motive when it came to calling you."

Aria's heart skipped a beat. "What would that be?" Oh man, she hoped he didn't fall. Or had a heart attack, or got sick. The last thing that anybody needed was for Smoky to experience a health crisis.

"I was wondering if you found out what the cause of our nightmares is."

Aria breathed a sigh of relief. Unfortunately, the relief was short lived as she once again thought about the last fifteen minutes and what exactly had transpired throughout them.

"I… I have."

"Really?" Smoky's voice rose a little bit. "That's awesome! What was it then?" His voice fell back down a little bit as he voiced this next question. "It… it wasn't caused by a demon, was it?"

Aria shook her head, even though she knew her father couldn't see it. "No. It wasn't."

Now Smoky was the one to breathe a sigh of relief. "Oh. Oh thank goodness. You have no idea how happy I am to hear that. I mean, the thought of either one of us being the vessels of some dark spirit…" He made the sound that was usually associated with shuddering.

Aria snickered. "Yeah, that wouldn't have been a fun day for anyone." She chuckled. "But don't worry, the nightmares had nothing to do with that." She said that all while trying to ignore the squirmy pit in her stomach.

"Good." When Smoky spoke this next question, he used a tone laced with curiosity and interest. "So what was it then?"

Aria breath caught in her throat. "Uh… well…" She tapped her hand against the surface of the couch, the pit in her stomach growing more and more unmanageable. She even started to sweat as she flashed back to less than half an hour prior, to Ludwig telling her the truth and all the unpleasant emotions that a thing such as the truth could provide. "It's…" Aria soon realized that it probably wouldn't be best to tell her dad what was happening. Not only was it very hard to grapple with, but it would take a while to explain and would be pretty hard for him to believe and get a grasp on. Heck, she herself had a hard time believing it! So no, best to not tell him and avoid a whole explanation that would only make her feel even worse.

"It's complicated."

"Oh. Okay then." There was a pause. "Well, at least you found it out. That means that we can tackle the problem, right?"

Aria cringed. "I guess." She honestly didn't know how she would tackle any of these new problems; they just made her too damn stressed.

"That's good." Aria didn't even need to be near him to know that he was smiling. "So, anyway, I've been wondering. What's happening in your life? Anything exciting?"

Aria blinked. It wasn't unusual for Smoky to ask this question during their phone calls, but it did catch her off guard on this particular day. "Um…" she debated whether or not she should tell her dad the truth before deciding that it wouldn't hurt. "Well, remember Ludwig von Koopa?"

"Ludwig von Koopa?" Smoky asked. "Was he…?" He gasped. "Wait. Was he that little boy who stayed in our house a while back?"

Aria smiled. "That's him." She chuckled. "I'm impressed you remember."

Smoky snickered. "I'm not quite that old, Ari." His voice rose. "But yeah, that was certainly an interesting experience. I thought he was a really nice kid."

"Yeah he was." Aria brought her legs up onto the couch. "Well, believe it or not, he and I have been hanging out quite a bit recently."

"Wait, really?" Smoky asked. "That's awesome!" Again, Aria didn't even need to see him to know that he was grinning the biggest grin in the world. "I remember you seemed to really like him when you were a kid."

Aria let out a semi-embarrassed chuckle. "Yeah. He and I hit it off pretty quick." She paused for a minute before snickering. "That statement applies both to back then and to now."

"That's great!" Smoky exclaimed. "I'm happy for you, Aria. I always did hope you would be able to reconnect with an old friend like that."

Aria frowned, staying silent for a good long while. Part of this was because she didn't know how to feel about Smoky's use of the word "friend," and part of it was because, again, she was still confused about how she felt about Ludwig as a whole. And she knew, just knew, that it would probably take the better part of the next decade for her to descramble all of her feelings and get herself into a much more sturdy, less frazzled mindset.

"Aria? Is everything okay?"

Aria internally berated herself when she realized how long she had gone without talking. "I'm fine." She thought about this for a little bit before she realized something. She wanted to ask her dad for advice. He was one of the smartest, wisest people that she had ever come across, and even though this exact situation wasn't one somebody experienced ever… she still had a hunch that her dad could help out. She trusted him very much in that regard.

"Listen Daddy, I was wondering if you could help me out with something?"

"Sure." Aria heard shuffling on the other side of the phone, possibly because Smoky was readjusting his position on whatever it was he was sitting on. "Whatever it is Aria, I'll do my best to help you out."

Aria smiled. "Thanks Daddy." She took a deep breath. "So I recently found out that Ludwig did something really bad in his past." Again, she didn't want to tell her Dad exactly what happened to Frostwall. However, she did feel that summarizing some of the most important points would still be okay. "It's something really big and really bad, and it effected a lot of people." She swallowed a lump. "One of those people being me."

"Okay…" Smoky was silent for a second. "Did he do this on purpose, or on accident?"

Aria paused, thinking back to when Ludwig explained to her what he did. "He… he seemed to do it on accident." Sure, there was no legitimate reason why she should trust Ludwig saying it was. For all she knew, he only said it was on accident to make himself look better and less scummy than he actually was. However… well, she was willing to trust him. Not one second during that conversation nor one part of Ludwig's voice or body seemed to be anything less than completely, one hundred percent honest.

"Oh. Okay," Smoky responded. "Well, did he try his best to fix it?"

Aria blinked, almost snickering to herself. The guy had admitted that he went back in time, therefore fucking with the space time continuum, in order to prevent this horrible event from ever happening in the first place. That more than fit the definition of the phrase "tried to fix it."

"Yes, he did."

"Well, that's good! So, I guess there really isn't much of a problem?"

Aria hesitated, sucking some air through her teeth as she did. "Well… I just… I don't know about that." She immediately felt embarrassed, questioning whether or not she actually wanted to reveal this detail to Smoky. However, she ultimately decided to in order to make the context of the situation much more clear to him. "The truth is… I had a bit of a crush on Ludwig. I was even considering asking him if we could take out relationship to the next level. But… but now, I'm not so sure. Now I… I don't know if it's best to trust him. I mean, what he did in the past was really bad. How do I know he won't do something equally if not more terrible? He still has the capabilities to do such a thing. I just…" she sighed. "I don't know where to go from here.

"Mmm," Smoky said. That was all he said, but really, that was all Aria needed. It told her that he understood this situation, that he was taking the time to consider and weigh the options that were placed right in front of the two of them.

"I don't know what to do, Daddy," Aria repeated. "What do you think I should do?"

Smoky was silent before asking a question. "Well… do you think Ludwig is the kind of person who would still do that stuff?"

Aria did a double take, having not really expected that response. "Well, I… I don't know. I mean… I want to believe he's not." She thought about this for a second before shaking her head. "I… I don't think he is. I mean… he did reveal to me everything he did, being upfront and honest about absolutely everything. I… I think that speaks volumes in and of itself."

"I think you're right," Smoky said, his voice pleased.

Aria was still hesitant though. "But… but I don't know what to do!" she exclaimed. Even though this conversation had been leading her down the path of forgiving Ludwig, she still wasn't sure if she was going to do that. "I just… I just…"

"Ari, slow down," Smoky said firmly. "Just step back and take a few deep breaths."

Aria nodded, doing what her father told her to do. Deep breath in… deep breath out. Deep breath in… deep breath out. Inhale, exhale. Rinse and repeat.

Eventually, she did feel calm again. "Okay." She pressed the phone up to her ear, not daring to let it go. "So, what do you think I should do, Daddy?"

Smoky hesitated. "Well… me personally? I think you should forgive him. I mean, all that you had told me makes it seem like Ludwig is extremely apologetic and willing to change. Plus… well, you know me Aria. I'm always preaching forgiveness, always saying that giving people who deserve second chances second chances is the best thing to do."

Aria pulled at a strung jutting out of one of the couch cushions. "That is true…" she bit her lip again. "But the act in question was really serious."

"That maybe true," Smoky said. "So, I'll just leave you with this piece of advice. Listen to your heart."

She blinked. "Listen to my heart?"

"Yeah. I think your heart would know what's best here. Deep down, you know the step you want to take, as well as what the right course of action would be. So, listen to what your heart is telling you. Listen to it attentively before making your final decision."

Aria took the time to think about this advice. This was a very weird thing to hear from her dad, as he didn't usually advice people listening to their heart. After all, the heart can be really greedy and selfish if put into the right situation. It was fickle, it didn't necessarily want what was best for the person listening or the people that were in said person's immediate circle.

However… right now, it seemed to be the advice that Aria was looking for. It was what she needed to hear, as it put her down a path that she knew she could walk down. It also helped relieve some of the burdens weighing down on her, which was definitely a plus.

"I… I think I can do that." She smiled. "Thanks Daddy. You were a really big help."

"You're welcome sweetie." He chuckled. "Good to know I can still give good advice in my old age."

Aria laughed. "Yeah." She debated whether she should hang up the phone, on some level desiring to speak more with Smoky. However, she ultimately decided it was necessary because one, she didn't have much left to say. And two… she still had a lot of thinking she needed to do.

"Well, talk to you later, Daddy."

"Of course sweetheart. Have a good day."

With that, they hung up. Once they did, Aria let out a breath. "Listen to my heart…" she got up and started to pace. "Listen to my heart…" she thought a little bit, trying her best to let her heart guide her. She listened to it without once turning away or letting her thoughts wander. She knew… she knew that she was very much hurt by the reveal of what happened to Frostwall. But at the same time… she trusted Ludwig. No, more than that; she loved him. She viewed him as more than a friend. She… she returned the love that he had confessed to feeling towards her.

Aria stopped, shaking her head. Man, she still had quite a bit to think about. However… after that conversation with Smoky… she felt more confident that she could make the right decision. She just needed a little bit more time…