A whooshing portal noise came into existence as the green-haired inventor stepped into the Support Department. He spied his science bro too engrossed into one of babies. He cleared his throat, getting her attention.
"Greenie! I knew you'd get in!" Hatsume whooped, dropping what she was doing before pulling him into a hug, the portal closing soon after. It was after hours at the school, leaving the two of them alone in U.A.'s Support Department. Power Loader, against her better judgement, left her star student alone with no supervision (other than the principal occasionally observing them), a fact she'd soon regret one day.
"Good to see you too, Hatsume," Midoriya said, returning the hug. "Be honest: How many explosions have you made?" he asked teasingly as they got out of their embrace.
"Only ten, Dad," she admitted, adding the last word jokingly. She went to a nearby baby (that being a hoverboot) and began to fiddle around with it as she asked, "How many women have you shut up with your awesome tech?"
"A couple, but there's this girl…" he alluded to, rubbing the back of his head in annoyance at even thinking of the woman.
"Oh?" Hatsume asked casually, not knowing what feeling she was experiencing deep within her gut. She didn't like that he was talking about some other woman, for some reason.
How odd.
"Her name's Yaoyorozu Momo and, by god, she's a…jerk, putting it mildly," Izuku revealed, finding the ODM sitting on one of Hatsume's large desks, having its parts being examined and refined. "She thinks I'm a moron, that I stole all my tech from a 'self-respecting' woman," he explained, partly quoting exactly what she said in the nurse's office (he was nosey, sue him).
"But you obviously didn't!" Mei said with some force behind her words, confusing her greatly. Why was she so concerned about her science bro's life/work? It's probably because they friends. Yes, that must be it.
Midoriya held up his hands in the "calm down" gesture. "It's fine, Hatsume, really. She's a pain in the ass and set in her traditional ways, but—"
"What do you mean 'traditional ways?'" the pink-haired inventor asked, stopping work on her baby.
"You know? The whole 'males are supposed to be stay-at-home husbands' or Breeders for their country?" he reminded her, but seeing it didn't click for her yet. He adopted a teacher's persona as he began, "Ever since the rise of quirks, the power dynamic has shifted from a patriarchy to a matriarchy. Men used to be in charge of everything back then, which sounds crazy to me, in my opinion. Once it was shown that only women were getting quirks that's exactly when they began to amass more power. Through some unknown way that even current scientists are still trying to figure out, the male population began twindlling, and at the same time the birth rate for females sky-rocketed, making it much more likely you'd have a daughter than a son. The current rate right now is roughly 1 in every 10,000, I believe."
"Wow, that's a big difference," Hatsume remarked, switching screwdrivers as the damned screw wouldn't screw in.
Midoriya nodded his head, "It is. Eventually the U.N. met one day and addressed the issue, stating publicly that they needed male 'volunteers' to help keep the population up. Of course, it later devolved into a scrambled race for every country to nab all the men currently living within their borders. The United States made a no-fly law for any male outside of the country and Japan wasn't much better, but at least Japan was incentivizing their very small male population to stay with the promises of money and a nice, government-issued house." Hatsume whistled, making Izuku snort. "Yeah, eventually the powers that be pulled their head out of their ass as things finally settled down. It was strongly advertised and heavily-implied that males should settle down by the age of around 15, and either become a husband or a Breeder, the latter of which they'd be paid for their service for their country." He finished, feeling like his mouth was too dry from talking so much. He made a small quick portal to his room and fumbled around for his thermos filled with room-temperature hot chocolate, which would probably just be chocolate milk, the more he thought about it. He chugged it down before belching, "Any questions?"
"What exactly is a Breeder?" she asked, shocking Midoriya greatly, as he thought everyone knew what it was.
"Didn't you pay attention at all in Sex Ed? Or in life in general?" he asked before the answer hit him square in the face: This was Hatsume Mei for fuck's sake. She lived in her own little world, and if the outside world wasn't talking about her babies or inventions or anything else she cared about then it wasn't worth her time. The green-haired inventor cleared his throat as he awkwardly explained to the ignorant girl, "A Breeder is someone, always a male, who goes to a designated facility somewhere nearby, typically no farther than 20 km, and, um, donates his semen to the facility workers, typically by doing it, uh, manually," he said with some embarrassment. "For every internal ejaculation he does inside a woman's vaginal opening, he's then granted a sum of money as compensation in the form of straight up cash or a check to deposit. Some of the pruder countries, such as China, Vietnam, and hell, even Japan, have only adopted this practice in the last century, as beforehand they'd have the man release in a cup for them to manually inseminate later."
"Ohhhhhh," she said as she lightly slammed her right fist into her open left palm. "That's what it is! I wish I could be a Breeder, I could get some more funds for my babies that way!" she said forlornly.
"You could be a Womb Mother," he suggested with a blush. "That's the people who get, uh, inseminated by the Breeders. They're paid for every successive female birth, and even more so when it's a male," he explained, wanting to get off the topic.
"Did you ever do it? The whole being a Breeder thing," she asked politely.
"No, never. I can't imagine being the father to hundreds, no, thousands of kids, even if they'll never know it was me who was their father," Midoriya hurriedly explained. The room fell silent, with Hatsume welding on a component to her Hoverboot for some reason. Trying to move the conversation onwards he tried, "How's the ODM baby doing?"
"Not going so well, Greenie. The amount of force that's needed to lift and maneuver a person through open space is too much on the gears and wires. Someone would need to be really light or practically weightless to use it properly."
Midoriya looked downtrodden at that revelation before something clicked inside of his mind. "Did you say practically weightless?" he asked, an idea forming in the forefront of his mind.
"Yeah, I did. Good luck on that," she wished offhandedly before looking up with a grin, "Unless you have a baby that can do that?!"
"No, unfortunately not, at least not yet," he said as he pulled out his smartphone and told it to project a picture of a brown-haired girl with a perpetual blush in her heroine costume. "This is Uraraka Ochaco, her quirk is called Zero Gravity. It gives her the power to nullify the effects of gravity on solid targets, living and nonliving, by touching them with the pads on her fingertips, causing them to become weightless and float. She is also able to cancel the effect of her Quirk by touching her finger pads together," he paused, letting his friend digest the idea.
"Oh! She'd be perfect to have the ODM baby given to her!" Hatsume put two and two together, quickly reassembling the baby haphazardly. "Where is she? We need to give her this immediately!" she insisted before Midoriya stopped her in her tracks and took the invention gently from her.
"I'll be giving it to her, as I have a class with her," Midoriya explained.
"Phooey. I want to see her reaction when she gets it."
"Well, how about this: You improve her helmet and then you can meet with me to give her support equipment."
"What's wrong with her helmet?"
"It's functionally useless. It has no AI, no vitals checks, no internet capabilities, nothing, nada, zip. I'd like you to fix that."
"You got it, Greenie! I just need access to her costume suitcase."
"I'm sure you can figure it out," Midoriya said as he gave her a goodbye fistpump, leaving through the door before promptly taking out his portal gun.
"Am I the only one seeing the sexual tension between you two?" Desiree asked in a sultry voice, seductive and elusive.
"Yes, yes you are," he replied mentally with an eyeroll, secretly appreciating her companionship. He was never alone with her, which was more a blessing than some might perceive.
"Sugar, just say the word and I'll help you get with Hatsume, I swear," Desiree whispered sinfully into his ear as he left the hallway through his portal. They emerged on a sidewalk on a busy street in the middle of the day. Cars were honking at each other in the distance and people were giving Midoriya a wide berth after seeing him come through a portal. "Where are we, master?" she asked, eyeing the pedestrians.
"New York, early 21st century, at least in this universe. We're currently facing the Sanctum Sanctorum, a super important building in the Marvel Universe," he explained as he walked his way into the building, which was unlocked for some moronic reason. The door opened and revealed a large central room with a staircase in the center. The wooden floorboards creaked under his weight as he strode a bit further into the building. Midoriya took out a pair of earbuds and put them into his ears before activating an app from his smartphone, setting the translation section to English. "Hello?! Anyone home?!" Midoriya called out.
A male figure with a goatee wearing a red cape came floating down from one of the upper floors, casual-like. He came down to the first floor and stood a couple feet away as he made a couple of hand motions, sparks of magical energy popping out. He made two magical circular shields as he stated calmly, "My name is Doctor Stephen Strange, and you're trespassing in the Sanctum Sanctorum."
"Oh my god, the real Doctor Strange!" Izuku fanboyed, jumping up lightly up and down in excitement. "I knew I'd find you here but still! You're so cool with your magic and stuff! You're one of the most knowledgeable practitioner of the Mystic Arts," he said with a smile.
Stephen raised an eyebrow at the fanaticism, his ego being lightly stroked. "You're trespassing in the Sanctum Sanctorum. Leave now before I remove you," the former doctor warned once more, not taking his eyes off the young man. "How did you find this place? This building has a notice-me-not spell placed on it for those not welcomed," Strange commented.
"Like in Harry Potter?" Midoriya asked, connecting the two together immediately.
"No, not like Harry Potter. It's a non-canon spell anyway, usually reserved for fanfiction," Stephen corrected before shaking his head. "We're getting off-topic. Leave now," he commanded with a firm voice.
Midoriya shook his head, "No can do, Doctor Strange. I need one of your sling rings before I leave," he explained before getting a devilish grin on his face, "In exchange…I can grant any sexual-related wish you so desire."
"Oooh, sugar, you're so smart!" Desiree commented, sticking close to her master. "You're gonna reel him in!"
"Excuse me?" Doctor Strange looked at him unimpressively up and down. "You can do magic?" he intoned, putting down his shields as he realized that the young man wasn't going to attack (yet).
"Sexual magic, to be exact," Midoriya corrected lightly.
The former doctor waved a hand full of magic in front of him as he did a few diagnostic spells, humming noncommittingly as he remarked, "Based on my spells I can fairly say that you can't do magic, but you have a parasite connected to your soul that allows you to do 'sexual' magic."
"Parasite?!" Desiree asked, enraged at being called such a thing.
"Wait, what do you mean by parasite?" Midoriya questioned, looking at his sex genie a little warily now.
Doctor Strange noticed he was looking at something that wasn't there (at least to his eyes). "You mean you don't already know? The spell I casted made it quite clear that this was a voluntary contract."
"Well, as voluntary as rubbing a genie lamp and getting a sex genie," the boy admitted.
"What's your name?" Stephen asked.
"Midoriya Izuku, sir."
"At least you have manners. Let's get you diagnosed, Midoriya," the sorcerer said before the room suddenly changed without warning. They were now currently standing next to a bunch of bookshelves, with the famous doctor reading through one carefully. "I'm impressed you didn't stumble. I did this to a certain god once and he stumbled quite a bit," Strange informed.
"I'm used to teleporting thanks to my sex genie," Izuku said, looking around the place with wonder. There were a ton of books here on the shelves, some not even in English from what he could tell.
"I need to make sure there aren't any modifications I need to make since you're an otherworldly being…nope!" he said before changing locations once more, this time to a table with a chair while he was doing something with a mortar and pestle.
"How'd you know I'm not from this Earth?" Midoriya inquired, his sex genie having to fly faster and faster to catch up with them as she was not being teleported with them.
"It's a little complicated, but in short terms it's because of your presence and your soul," Stephen answered before switching locations, looking through another book. "And there we go! Parasite-ridding magic nullification, that should solve part of your problem," he said as he began to cast the purple-tinged spell, using the stuff in the mortar as a casting ingredient.
"Wait!" Midoriya said hurriedly. "I don't want to get rid of Desiree!"
"The parasite has a name? Did you give her one or—"
"It's my birth name," came the voice of the lone female sex genie, materializing before the former doctor in all her neon-green glory.
"So you're the parasite? Not too shabby-looking, especially to an hormonal teenager with a high libido," Doctor Strange noted. "Why are you attached to his soul like that?"
"Attached how?"
Strange wordlessly made a few hand motions as he created a visual representation of Midoriya's soul with magic, it being shaped like a ball, viridescent in color. A few parts of his soul was chipped away for some reason, and there was a section of his ball-like soul that had an attached entity tied to it, one that was distinctly reddish neon green. "That little section is on your soul, Midoriya, eating away at it like all parasites do."
"I am not a parasite, 'Doctor' Strange," she spoke with malice, "I would never harm my dear master."
"How else do you think you do your magic?" the sorcerer asked bluntly. "The type of magic you do derives from the soul. Any 'wish' he makes subtracts from his soul, making him ever so slightly weaker and weaker. Once you hit about a hundred or so 'wishes' is when he's gonna notice that's more fatigued than before, that he's more tired than he was yesterday. It will gradually increase more and more the longer he wishes, at which point his organs will began to lose functionality without the help of a machine. And since I'm getting a better look at what type of magic you use I can also tell you've had multiple masters. How many did you wish to death? How many fell because of you?"
"Stop talking!" Desiree yelled, covering her ears and looking away from the young man that was her master.
"Desiree…did you know?" Midoriya asked with a horrified expression, looking pleadingly at his sex genie in the vain hope that she didn't.
"I had…suspicions," she admitted, drooping her head slightly. "I just noticed that some of my masters weren't as lively as they used to be, that they weren't the man they were before. But then they'd wish that they were more energetic and then they were as right as rain!" she added hastily.
"So you knew and you didn't tell him," Doctor Strange helpfully summarized before clapping his yellow-gloved hands together, redoing his purple-tinged spell from earlier. "Just say the word, Midoriya, and I can get her out of your hair. I'll secure her in a suitable container that no man can access—"
"No."
"No? You do know that she's slowly killing you with every wish you make? You know that."
"What type of hero would I be if I confined her to a cell? I'm sure there's magic out there that can fix me, right, Doctor Strange?" he asked hopefully, looking at the former doctor with big puppy dog eyes.
"Well, maybe, I've personally never delved too deeply into soul magic," Doctor Strange tentatively said, lowering his hands from doing the spell.
"Master, you're not getting rid of me?" she asked with a hopeful note in her tone of voice.
"No, I'm not," he declared before grasping her ghostly fingers and interlocking with them, it feeling as cold as ice cream. The two looked at each other in the eyes, conveying a thousand words between them. "You saved me, back when I had nothing going for me. Now? I'm gonna save you, I swear it," he promised with a smile that could rival even All Might.
"As nice as that thought is, solving this is going to be hard," the sorcerer said as he pulled out a book on soul magic that was conveniently nearby. "You don't want to end up like Voldemort with your soul in tatters if you mess up really badly. We need something that can rejuvenate the body and soul, something magical in origins—"
"Like a Philosopher's Stone?" Izuku interrupted, getting a raised eyebrow from the former doctor. "Sorry, I-I'm ju-just throwing ideas around and—"
"No, that could work, if we had one," Stephen thought aloud. "Unfortunately this world doesn't have one, at least not publicly known. Does yours?"
"No, neither does my world. But with this," Midoriya pulled out his portal gun, it reflecting in the light, "maybe we can find one that does."
"What is that?"
"A portal gun, like from the show Rick and Morty."
"Never heard of it. I imagine it allows you to cross universes and allowed you to find yourself here. Is that correct?"
"Sharp as a tact, Doc," Izuku complimented before suddenly he and Desiree collapsed to the ground and began to glitch out like a video game character, his and her body proportions moving about erratically in new and different places. It hurt like a motherfucker before it stopped, finally. They both were racing to catch their breaths as Doctor Strange gave them a worried look.
"What the hell was that?"
"Glitching, it's what happens if you're in a Marvel universe and you don't belong there," Midoriya explained, finally stabilizing his heartbeat.
"Marvel universe?"
"Uh oh. Spoilers. Forget I said that," Izuku requested, trying his best to get up on shaky legs, Desiree already managing to get herself off the floor and float about.
The sorcerer shrugged. "Just so you know, I was able to sense you when you first arrived in this universe. I imagine any other Sorcerer Supreme will be able to if you end up in another world like this one," Stephen warned, watching as Midoriya twisted a dial on his portal gun and opened a portal in the building.
"I'll be back when I have it, Doctor Strange!" he said as he and his sex genie left through the portal, it closing with a whoosh noise.
A different type of whooshing emerged behind Strange as he heard a Inter-Dimensional Portal open up behind him, orange in color. "Strange, I detected an otherworldly presence while I was at the Kamar-Taj. I came as soon as I could," the asian man said, looking around. "I take it you dealt with it?"
"Dealt with is a strong word, Wong. I'll need to explain this over whiskey," the Sorcerer Supreme practically demanded as he went to his liquor cabinet, taking out two glasses and the most expensive whiskey he owned.
The two of them emerged in the young man's room, Midoriya taking out his earbuds and then promptly falling face-first into his bed, groaning loudly. "We're so fucked," he said forlornly as he sat up, "Since you need a wish to be human that means no more morning blowjobs—"
"What?!" Desiree exclaimed in shock.
"—and that means no more sex between us, unless you want me to get worst."
Immediately she felt bad, instantly regretting her outburst. "What are we gonna do, master? We can't have you untended," she said as she gestured to his groin.
"I know. I'll probably masturbate or—"
"Absolutely not! My master shouldn't have to masturbate at all when he has willing sluts to play with!" she argued. "We'll just need to find you more fuck mates, sugar."
Midoriya shrugged at that notion before rummaging around his gadget box before finding his Interdimensional Goggles. He grabbed it and opened a portal to his lab at Geonosis Tech, gesturing to his sex genie to follow him inside. "We have a universe to find."
…
…
…
"Damnit, I forgot to get a sling ring!"