Hello friends! I´m back from vacation and that´s why I was finally able to upload again 3 I really hope you enjoy this latest installment!
"Ms. Shepard, I'm Dr. Walsh, and I'd like to talk to both of you about tomorrow's procedure."
The doctor with the long blonde hair had moved to stand in front of the bed, holding the patient's chart tightly in her hands, and eyed the redhead thoroughly. She had been working in gynecology for a long time and conversations like this would never really get easier, but one could only learn to handle them better.
"You see, the results of the examination showed us that there are still remnants of the endometrium in your uterus, and to prevent infection, we need to remove it."
"How long will that take?", she asked quietly, eyeing the medic.
"Five to ten minutes without complications, but those are usually very rare. We'll put you under a short general anesthesia, and then you'll come right back to your room as well."
Silence was Jennifer's response, wanting to say as little as possible – the news of her miscarriage still lay like a stone in her stomach. It hurt her a lot, hurt terribly, and she was glad when the procedure was over again. While she would like to have Gibbs with her, with general anesthesia she wouldn't notice anything anyway.
"I know it's very hard to understand and be able to process this, but I promise you that you're really in good hands with me," the young woman said as she watched Jenny struggle with tears.
"The last few days have been very tiring, too much has happened at once.", Gibbs said quietly as he pulled her into his arms.
Reassuringly, he tried to stroke her back, feeling her press herself closer and closer to him, burying her head in his chest to stifle the tears that were welling up. With a trembling hand, Jen wiped the tear from the corner of her eye.
"If you need a little more time, I can come back later.", she suggested.
Nodding, Gibbs agreed to this offer while he tried to calm the redhead down again. It was hard, no one had denied that either, and even if he would like to take this step from her, she had to do it and preferably as soon as possible. He was desperate to get her out of here, to get her away from the place where so much harm was happening, so that her healing process could progress. She couldn't get better here!
"Jen...", Gibbs said softly in her ear, continuing to stroke her without stopping even once.
"I don't want this anymore.", she murmured softly, wiping the tears from her cheeks. "Not at all anymore..."
"I know if I could, I would take it from you, but I'm afraid I can't."
She shook her head and slowly sat up. Her normally beautiful green eyes had completely lost their luster; instead of shining, they were red and swollen. Her long hair was tied in a high, loose chignon.
"I don't mean that."
"What then?", he asked anxiously, looking deep into her eyes. "What don't you want anymore?"
"Children, being or becoming pregnant, losing them and having to go through this whole procedure again."
The tears came to her eyes again, running down her cheeks, and now it was happening. He, Leroy Jethro Gibbs didn't know what to say or how to tell her his thoughts. It wasn't the right time, though, at least it didn't feel like the right time. But one thing was clear, it was urgent to talk about all this again in peace. Here and now, however, it was impossible.
"Okay... okay.", Leroy answered calmly and wrapped her in his arms again, holding her tight and never wanting to let her go.
"Any word on Gibbs and the Director?"
"She's doing pretty well so far, but will have to stay in the hospital for a little while before she's released. I'm guessing she won't be back on duty for at least two or three weeks."
Silently, the special agent wrote his report while Tony kept looking at Ziva's empty seat, brooding. He would love to know what his colleague had in common with the director, why the head of a federal agency was so committed to a Mossad officer, putting her reputation at risk. But Anthony DiNozzo was much more interested in what was actually going on between Gibbs and the Director, because they had not seen more than that one kiss. No one could be that professional, he thought. Besides, the encounter with his ex-wife and Jennifer Shepard's subsequent reaction was far too obvious.
Slowly they both walked along the corridor, it was still very tiring for the redhead, but she had to move a little, doctor's orders! If she wanted to go home, she had to show Dr. Jordan that she was feeling better anyway.
"Listen, I know this topic is very touchy, and also still pretty fresh. But what you said earlier..."
"I'm sticking to it, too.", she said softly. "I don't want it and I ask you to respect that too."
"I do, too, but it's just important that we both talk about it properly."
Jennifer nodded, leaning against the handrail so as not to lose her balance, before looking at him urgently.
"I know we've both had a rough start, faced a lot in the last few days, and your pregnancy came as such a surprise that we've barely had time to talk about it."
Their silence grew longer and longer. It was hard for her to look him in the eye, because whenever she did, she had to think about the positive pregnancy test. She felt so stupid.
"This step, the procedure... it's not easy and yes it hurts, but like I said it will pass and whenever the time is right we could talk about it again."
"I'm sorry, I really can't do this.", Jen whispered hotter, struggling with her emotions again. "I don't want to be pregnant anymore, I don't want to lose it again, and I feel so stupid for feeling like I'm making such a big deal out of a little thing."
"Jenny, this is not a little thing," he said, taking a step closer to her.
"You know, I took this test twice because I wanted to be sure. And by the time I was about to tell you about it, it was gone."
The tears in her eyes shone, and her voice grew quieter. She wondered when she would ever be able to talk about it without bursting into tears. When her heart would stop hurting so much.
"And the worst part is, I just never thought about having kids. The positive test was so scary and at the same time, when we were in the ER, I wanted nothing more than to protect this little something inside of me."
"Jen."
Gibbs reached out and put his hand at her waist, pulling her closer. Firm, yet careful not to hurt her, Leroy had pulled the redhead into his arms. Reassuringly, he stroked her back as he pressed a soft kiss to her head.
"I couldn't protect it...", she sobbed more hotly, burying her head in his chest.
"The procedure will only take a few minutes. You will be given a pain medication through the IV in your arm, and you will need to stay with us for a little while after the procedure. We'll take care of your vital signs and once you're feeling better, of course, once that's cleared with Dr. Jordan, you can go home."
"Will there be a follow-up appointment after that?"
"Yes, but we'll schedule that after the procedure."
Nodding, Jennifer looked at the young woman in front of her, nervously tugging at her bedspread
"However, it is important that you do not have sexual intercourse for three weeks, do not go swimming and avoid sauna visits to prevent infections. Also, be sure to take it easy at home for a week afterward."
Silently, but with a much higher attention span, Jenny listened to the doctor's words. It was not something she liked to hear, but what woman did? The fact that Gibbs was with her, holding her hand tightly in his and being an incredibly great support to her during the last few days made things a lot easier. She didn't even know what she did to deserve him.
"Do you have any questions?"
"No.", she replied quietly.
"I'd still need you to sign these papers for me."
Without hesitation, Jennifer Shepard grabbed the pen as well as the paper and gave her "signature" as consent for tomorrow's procedure. Her heart was pounding fast, and she was glad when it was all finally over. She was glad when she was finally home and could kind of forget about everything.
"I'll see you in the morning then."
Dr. Walsh smiled kindly at both of them before she left the room.
Tired, she flopped back into bed, closed her eyes and exhaled deeply once. She'd be lying if she said she didn't have a stomachache when she thought about tomorrow. But she did have a stomachache, a very bad one at that!
"Try to sleep, Jen."
"I can't."
"Try, tomorrow will be another busy day."
Swallowing hard, she nodded weakly and opened her eyes again; "Aren't you going to start showing up at the office? I'm sure the others are already getting suspicious."
"Let them, there are more important things right now."
"But it would be okay with me, you need some distance from here too, and you can at least use it. I don't have that privilege to just leave, unfortunately."
He shook his head in denial, however, as he sat down on the edge of the bed. Firmly yet carefully, he squeezed her hand and leaned forward a bit toward her.
"I promised you I wouldn't leave your side.", Jethro said softly, smiling at her.
"Have I told you how much I love you?", the redhead asked as she stroked her fingers through his hair.
Without comment, he pressed his lips to hers. Kissed her tenderly, yet intimately, while his fingertips stroked her hair.
"I love you too," he murmured against her lips after the kiss.
Let me know what you´re thinking :)