Steve could not say that Peggy had not made any improvement. She was beginning to walk, using crutches that he bought. She was able to stand for more than five seconds, and thanks to these very demanding exercises, she was sleeping better.
He hoped that all of these things would help her with her nerves. But the scratching did not stop. He did not know how to bring that topic up, so he tried to talk about general topics. She was still behind on recent history, so he bought her a few books concerning modern history.
Peggy was reading a book that Natasha had left for her. It was another day she felt so totally exhausted. The previous day they had to change their location again.
She was in the middle of the book "Harry Potter and the Goblet of Fire." However, her arms hurt so much that they were trembling. She was in the middle of the description of the Yule ball when her exhaustion took over her hands, and she stopped being able to turn pages.
She made an irritated sound when she tried to turn the page for the FIFTH time and failed. The only thing that her hands were able to do was to let the book fall from the bed onto the floor from where she could not lift it. The sound of the falling book was so noisy that Steve could hear it over the radio he was listening to.
He ran into the room, spatula still in his hand, looking worried.
"Is everything ok?" he started carefully, knowing how emotionally unstable Peggy these days was.
"No, nothing is ok, Steve!" she snapped. She knew that Steve was the last one to blame, but she was irritated, she was exhausted, she was in so much pain. She could not hold it any longer.
"I can only lie there, wait for I do not know what. You are doing everything you can, but all in all, I am only your burden! We were so close to getting caught so many times, and everything because of me! I cannot even go to the car without you because the last time I tried I almost fell from the stairs. I am only a useless burden to you, Steve." The tears which gathered in her eyes started to fall slowly. She tried to blink them away, but there were so many of them.
"Peggy," Steve exhaled, going towards the bed. He picked the book from the floor, putting it on a nightstand table.
She turned to her side, showing Steve her back. Back then, in the 1940s, he would take it as a sign that the conversation is over and that he should leave. Long was gone Steve from the 1940s.
He carefully sat on the bed, touching her shoulder gently. She did not shake it off. Good sign.
He lay down beside her, carefully spooning her, one hand hugging her around her torso. He could feel her shivering.
"Are you cold?"
She only shook her head.
"Are you hungry?"
She shook her head again.
"Do you want me to read the book for you?"
No shaking head, no negative response.
He slowly lay on his back, taking the book in his hands.
"Where did you stop?"
"Yule ball," she only whispered.
"Ok, then let's start." He inhaled and started reading.
It took her two minutes before she turned towards him, laying her head on his shoulder. He used his free arm to bring her closer while he continued reading.
It was nice. She was calming down, slowly subsiding into sleep.
He finished the chapter, realizing that she fell asleep. He did not leave the bed. He drew her closer to him, kissing the crown of her head. They could make it, he thought. They will be fine.
Three days later, he entered the bathroom, finding Peggy with a knife, cutting her left forearm.