Kakashi and I struggled making a decision on where to live for the time being. He and I debated the pros and cons; the good reasons and the bad. In the end, it came down to one thing: Obito. Our wayward teammate.
Did he know where I lived? Was he aware of where Kakashi lived? Were Kakashi's defenses of his apartment good enough? Would his neighbors be a good deterrent?
Kakashi seemed hesitant to have me in his apartment for reasons I couldn't quite pin down. I felt it would be safer, more traps, more neighbors (ANBU and Jounin ones, even) and a comfortable environment for him. I didn't want to invade his space by any means, but I was becoming more and more deathly afraid of Obito by the minute.
Whatever I thought I knew about my former teammate, my friend, I didn't anymore. He was completely unpredictable and I wasn't sure if he'd given up on trying to grab me when Kakashi or whoever was with me was distracted, or if he'd leave it to his band of mercenaries.
However, what I think was upsetting Kakashi the most, was not being able to visit the memorial stone every day for hours on end. I'd happily go with him, however, it was a more personal thing for a person like Kakashi. While two people he previously thought to be dead were now alive, he still grieved for those close to him that he lost long ago.
Giving up on our decision for now, Kakashi and had headed the flower shop to grab some flowers. After mentioning that I wanted to leave some for sensei and his wife, Kakashi maneuvered me over towards the shop.
The bell rang as we entered, and I could feel the surprise in Inoichi's narrowed gaze at us. I pursed my lips, trying to hold back the sheepish grin that tried to pull at my lips. I felt Kakashi's hand on my back once again, pushing me ahead
"Could we have my usual, Inoichi?" Kakashi asked. There was a small stare down between the two; Inoichi's gaze narrowing further and Kakashi's seemingly unaffected look cutting across the two of them. The tension was rising, and when Inoichi spoke, it was with restrained anger.
"Did I not tell you two to go back to the hospital when you were down with your little elopement?" His fingers were curling into tightened fists on the counter of the flower shop and I felt minute worry at his rage.
"Tsunade discharged Kakashi about a half an hour ago." I told him lightly. "We'd like to go visit some long lost friends, please."
Inoichi glanced back up at me before turning back to Kakashi. He sighed, gathering the flowers that were Kakashi's "usual" and wrapping them up carefully. As he handed them to Kakashi, he grabbed Kakashi's hand that held the money in a firm grip. When Kakashi looked up curiously at Inoichi, Inoichi dipped his head in my direction. "Be careful, you two."
He collected the money from Kakashi and turned around as Kakashi held onto the flowers tightly, his shoulders slumped with exhaustion. "Of course," He gave a fake eye-smile to Inoichi's back, not that he saw it.
Kakashi shoved the flowers into my arms as soon as we had left the store and I adjusted my hold on the flowers that were roughly dropped into my arms. Kakashi kept walking as I did so, and as soon as I had a better hold of the flowers, I quickened my pace to catch up to him.
I followed his path to the memorial stone in silence while making sure he did not get too far ahead, but had enough space for himself. When we came upon the memorial stone, I laid the flowers down on it and backed up, allowing Kakashi space to stand in front.
I sat down, pulling my knees under me and bowing my head a little as I considered the last few weeks, especially what had happened since the last time I was here – when Obito had attacked me and caused casualties. More people on the memorial stone since I had been here.
My head bowed even more under the weight of the deaths that hung over me. I could feel my shoulders hunching as grief fell over me like the weight of the world that Atlas had held on his shoulders for thousands of years. I was at fault for the creation of Obito, thus, the deaths were on my shoulders.
I could feel my hands clasped together, clenching and unclenching at the knowledge. I know Kakashi and I had had conversations and we'd talked about how my choices were mine, his choices were his and Obito's choices were Obito's, and yet, I still couldn't shake the feeling of guilt and shame for what I had caused.
While I couldn't make someone react a certain way, would it not be expected for Obito to react that way to my death? I had been the catalyst of so many things, including war. And even though I was back now, I couldn't bring myself to go back to him to convince him to stop his plans.
Obito had dragged me here kicking and screaming. He'd traumatized me, locked me in, and forced me to adhere to his fantasy like the young girl he'd known so many years ago. It was twisted, disgusting. He'd killed people in my name. He'd hurt others in my name.
Shaking, I could feel my hands unclasp and slowly move so my arms cradled my stomach. The anxiety, despair, guilt and pain wracked me with shudders as I bit my lip to keep myself from letting loose the cry that desperately wanted to leave my throat.
Before I could get more worked up, a heavy, warm hand dropped onto my head and I felt a warm body crouch next to mine. I glanced next to me and saw Kakashi's concern gaze in his eye; from the little I could see of his face, it was pulled with worry. Light stress lines formed like creases by his eyebrow and eye. Even the faint shape of a frown on his lips could be seen through the mask.
His hand on my head traveled down to my back and almost awkwardly started to rub it methodically as his other hand hovered in front of my mouth. When he spoke, it was without emotion. "Take a deep breath with me." I did so, listening to his commands as he walked me through a breathing exercise like I hadn't had to do this with him not too long ago myself.
After a few moments, I was able to breathe normally, realizing I had been in the midst of a panic attack. His hand stayed on my back, although it was still. The hand in front of my mouth moved to my chin to lift it so I could look into his eye.
The look on his face made my chest stutter for a second. His lone black eye was tight with pain; worry and desperation rolled off him in waves. I reached up to grab the hand that was holding my chin, clasping it gently, but firmly. I moved the hand around so ours were linked. Expertly moving my fingers so ours weaved through the others', I used my other hand to grab his deep green Jounin vest and pull him closer. He fell to his knees at my strength, pulling him into my embrace. I buried my head in his shoulder as our clasped hands stayed between us and his free hand wrapped around my back to pull me closer into him.
I breathed in his scent; a musky smell that drew me closer to him.
We stayed like that for a while, not saying a word as we relaxed into each other and took the moments of peace as a way to escape from the dangers of the world. Finally we both pulled back and as I looked up at him once again, I could see his eye smile on his face.
I shook my head in exasperation at the fakeness of the smile, but didn't say anything. Kakashi would talk when he wanted to – possibly never – but that was something I would have to live with. I would hope that one day I would be more stable, happier, less likely to have moments like this. And through the success of therapy, Kakashi would be by my side, more stable as well emotionally. He'd be able to spoke more openly, a less tortured attitude about him.
I could almost see the vision of this, just like the vision I'd had of our team meeting to eat Yakiniku earlier in the day. And just like the previous vision, I had to blink away the possibility. We couldn't change the past. Minato was dead by Obito's hand. Obito was the leader of a terrorist organization that was focused on destroying the world as we knew it. Not only that, but instead of the petty spats Kakashi and Obito had as children, Obito wanted Kakashi dead, and myself captured with little to no damage.
As I stood, I brought Kakashi with me and with a pat to the front of his vest, I shook my head at him, still not talking but smiling. I used what strength I had to give him a light shove to the back, forcing him back to the memorial stone to finish his daily routine. He did so without complaint, glancing behind himself at me once before standing before the stone again.
Satisfied that we were both fine for the moment, I wandered away toward the tree line. With my arms crossed, the wind blowing my long brown hair and little shivers shaking my frame, I contemplated the future. I wanted Kakashi to heal. To get better. And that couldn't happen until Obito was out of the picture. If I wanted to heal, Obito needed to be out of the picture.
With that thought, I closed my eyes slowly and thought a quick apology to my past self. I couldn't do as she asked; I would never forgive Obito for what he'd done. I would never let Obito back in, and I would never let him near Kakashi or Naruto. I could feel my back straightening at my resolve.
These were all easy things to think, but harder in concept. I realized then that there was someone who would make this easier on all of us. Itachi.
Itachi was complex of a person. He was a smart man who was between a rock and a hard place. And despite that position he was in, he still helped me escape the first time. Something I hadn't forgotten, and something that needed to be acknowledged and rewarded. Itachi put himself in danger for me, for the future of this world. Itachi needed to come home.
Turning around to look at Kakashi's back, I decided then and there that I would enact my plan to help Itachi leave the Akatsuki and get the freedom he deserved. He would have his name cleared, he would be free to bring his brother home, free to live a life without fighting. Under the heat of the darkening sun, the waves of the light wind and with the people who died in the name of the village as a witness before me, I whispered aloud, "I will bring you home, Itachi, and you will live the life you always wanted. I promise."
