Chapter Two: Air Part 2
Belle sank wearily to the padded bench in the compartment Rush had led her to and eyed the silver case he set beside her. The pounding in her head was steadily growing worse, and she couldn't imagine why he'd dragged her from the control interface room to show her a … metal briefcase. She reached up to push her glasses up on her nose, realizing too late that they were no longer there. That was going to take some getting used to. Just as he would, since he'd broken his own glasses in the rush through the gate as well. I could be doing something productive, she thought irritably. She could be helping Eli go over the schematics of the ship or searching the craft with one of the teams Lieutenant Scott had put together instead of some secret mission Rush had cooked up. Young wasn't going to be at all happy if - when - he woke up. He'd been grievously injured when he'd come flying through the stargate - literally flying – and now suffering a head wound. He was still unconscious.
Finally, her curiosity got the better of her. "So … what's in the box?" she asked, one perfectly arched brow rising querulously.
Rush knelt before the bench, his hands on the clasps, yet he hesitated, refusing to meet her gaze. "Miss French, I … I want to apologize."
Her eyes crinkled at the corners as she regarded him silently. It wasn't like him to want to apologize for anything. He wasn't a man to make careless mistakes, he didn't take risks and most of his decisions were well thought out to the very last detail. He left no margin for error, so she was just a bit concerned that he felt the need to apologize … especially to her. "Why?"
"For getting you into this mess," he said with a sigh of disgust. "I never intended for us to end up in such dire straits. Yes, I had wanted us to be able to join the away team when we successfully connected with the ninth chevron address, but under controlled circumstances. I never meant to put you in danger."
Belle laid her hand over his where it rested on the case, her thumb brushing gently over his knuckles. He finally lifted his sable gaze to hers and she was taken aback by the genuine remorse in his eyes. "Rush, you have nothing for which to apologize. I choose my own fate; I always have. I chose to go with you to Icarus. It's not as though you bound and gagged me and threw me into the back of a van and made me board that ship. Although it did cross my mind that you might have if I'd refused," she deadpanned, trying to lighten the mood with a bit of levity.
"Miss -"
She pressed a finger to his lips to shush him. "Let me finish," she said softly. "I don't have anything, or anyone left on Earth, Rush. All I have is my work and now I have the greatest adventure imaginable on the path before me ..."
"… if we don't all die," he mumbled under his breath.
"I have every confidence that you will solve this problem. You didn't create the situation which brought us here, but I can't say I'm sorry to be here. It was a risk, and you took it. We'll get through this, so stop apologizing when there's no need."
Rush sat back on his heels and stared at her in awe, a slight smile curving his lips. She was the most remarkable woman he'd ever had the great fortune to meet. No doubt, she'd follow him into the fires of hell if he asked it of her. More than half of the evacuees from Icarus were a hare's breath away from demanding his head, and yet his assistant, his dearest friend, was ready to proceed with the mission as if it were another day at the office.
He shook his head to clear it, jerking himself back to the present and the more pressing issues before him. "I sincerely hope you don't change your mind."
Belle waved a dismissive hand and tapped her short nails on the top of the box. "So, are we going to sit here bonding over our precarious position or are you going to tell me what's in the box?"
Instead of answering, he unfastened the clasp and lifted the lid, revealing the contents. Inside were four polished cobalt stones and a square device rimmed in silver with a switch on the side. She briefly wondered where the last missing stone could be, but due to the pounding in her head, she dismissed it as unimportant. "These are Ancient communication stones. They work over vast distances in real time."
She traced a fingertip over the device and the five circles engraved into the surface. "We can talk to people on Earth?"
"Yes. You physically take control of an individual at the other end. I brought these with us in the event we ended up somewhere out of range of normal communication," he explained, removing the device from the metal case, and setting it on the bench beside her.
Her eyes widened and her nose crinkled as she winced. "You're going to use them, aren't you?" she asked, not sure if she was convinced this was a good idea.
"Someone has to inform General O'Neill of our situation. He is no doubt wondering what has become of us."
She grabbed his wrist as he lifted a stone from the case. "Rush, what if you get stuck in whoever's body it is you just happen to pop into? Have you ever tried this before?"
Rush couldn't help but find himself pleased at her concern. "Well, no, not exactly, but the premise is simple. The device can be disconnected at either end, and I'll return here to my own body. Not to worry, Miss French."
Belle made a little noise of displeasure, but she released his hand and watched avidly as he turned the device on and settled on the bench with it between them. "Rush -"
He held a finger to his lips to silence her and placed the stone on the lighted surface, his eyes closing and his face slipping into a blank mask. Belle rose to her feet, pulling a Jolly Rancher from her pocket and peeling off the wrapper as she began to pace, her eyes never leaving his face. She jumped when his eyes opened, and he frowned at her.
"Miss French?" he asked.
Belle's eyes narrowed suspiciously. He sounded like Rush, but his voice was off, his brogue seemingly gone and with a nasal inflection she wasn't certain she liked at all. There was also an open quality to the softening of his features, Rush's usually guarded expression falling away. "Who are you?"
"Dr. Pierce," he said, his eyes taking in the small room with the two padded benches and a small table and chairs.
"Christopher?" she asked, groaning when he nodded. Christopher Pierce was a middle-aged astrophysicist under O'Neill's command who should have been fired long ago for sexual harassment, having made more than one pass at Belle the few times she had accompanied Rush to the Pentagon to meet with the general. He wasn't well liked by the female personnel of the SGC or HWC, but the man was brilliant in his field. And she wasn't comfortable being stuck in a room with him, despite the fact that he was occupying Rush's body.
"I'm relieved to see you didn't perish in the explosion," he said, his face twisting into a leer … an expression she'd wager her entire bag of Jolly Ranchers on that she'd never see on Rush's face were he in his own body. A wolfish smile burgeoned on his face as he noted that they were alone in the room. "Be a waste of prime -"
"I'd stop right there if I were you," she warned, her hands balling into fists at her sides as she glared at him.
He backed off, holding his hands out before him as he rose to his feet and stretched. "So, what happened to you? Are there any more survivors?"
Belle inched her way around him, putting her back to the door and praying Rush would hurry back. "Young, though he's injured, most of his team, and a good number of the scientists and engineers, but I don't know if Lieutenant Scott has an actual head count at present."
"So where are we?" he asked, advancing on her slowly.
She pressed her back against the door, keeping her eyes trained on him as she explained what had happened on Icarus, their flight through the gate and the problem they were having with the life support system. She was filling him in on Colonel Young's injuries when he lunged, his hands snaking around her waist and pressing her farther into the door, diving in to claim her lips. Her mouth opened in horror, prepared to scream, her hand fumbling along the wall in desperation to find the door lock. It was like one of her naughty dreams gone bad. For all intents and purposes, this was Rush … physically, yet it wasn't. It was his hands groping her, his lips pressed to hers, his tongue invading her mouth, yet it wasn't him and it was all wrong. It reminded her of that movie she'd watched with Emma and Ruby about the pod people, and she couldn't help the violent shudder of revulsion which rippled through her.
Belle pushed against his chest, but his arms were like steel bands, binding her in his unwanted embrace. His legs trapped hers in a way where she couldn't bring her knee up, though she really didn't want to hurt Rush, but she would have if she could have managed the maneuver. She turned her head to the side, yet he wasn't deterred, his lips trailing along her jaw to nip and suckle at the flesh beneath her ear. She fisted her hands in his hair, pulling with her meager strength in hopes the pain would force him to release her.
"Come on, Belle, I know you've always wanted me," came the nasal reply in Rush's voice. She felt sick. "Just one kiss," he said, sliding his hands under her shirt to cup a lace-covered breast.
"You bloody pervert!" she shrieked as his mouth came down on hers again, fighting with all her strength as she squirmed to get loose.
He stiffened against her, his head jerking back and his eyes flaring wide in stunned disbelief. "Miss French!" he gasped, removing the hand from her breast as if he'd been burned.
Belle's eyes narrowed, searching his own. "Rush?"
"So help me, I'll kill the bastard," he roared as her hands released the painful grip on his hair, allowing him to step back. "Of all the personnel available to monitor the stones, it had to be Pierce!"
She sagged back against the door in relief, straightening her clothes as she tried to pull in huge lungfuls of air to calm herself. "H-How'd it g-go?" she asked, her voice shaky from the ordeal.
Rush lifted a hand to her, drawing it back before he could touch her. He doubted she'd appreciate his touch after what she'd had to endure, no matter how badly he wanted to comfort her. He'd hurried with his debriefing in order to return to her as quickly as possible when he'd realized who was occupying his body; the man's reputation as a lech was well-known. Returning to find his body pressed to Belle's, his hands and lips on her pale flesh … every one of his fantasies come to life. He couldn't suppress the shiver which slid up his spine. It was quickly replaced by rage.
"How can you ask, when I come back to find ..." He ran a hand roughly through his hair, tugging a few strands out. "I'm so sorry, Miss French."
Belle sat down on the bench and leaned her head back against the bulkhead. "You think you're the first man I've ever had to fend off," she asked, emitting a sharp mirthless laugh, thinking about the man her father had betrothed her to what seemed like eons ago. "You're not."
"I'll deal with Pierce personally, I assure you," he mumbled, pacing back to the stones, and closing the device away in its case. He turned back to her, relieved to find her looking calmer. "Are you alright?"
"Yes, Rush, I'm fine," she replied, offering him a weak smile. It could have been so much worse, and she was thankful Rush wasn't a large man, not much taller than herself and almost equally matched in strength. If Pierce had been occupying any other body than that of the one man she craved, she would have done some serious damage. It was her reluctance to harm Rush which had stayed her hand. "You know Pierce. Thinks he's Casanova and every woman should thank their lucky stars because of his interest in them. Although it would be well advised to speak to O'Neill about this."
Rush gaped at her. "How can you be so calm about this? He attacked you … in my body, no less!" he hissed furiously.
Belle leveled him with her direct stare, closing off and changing the subject. "Did you see Jack?"
He sighed heavily and grasped the case in his hand, palming the door lock as she fell into step with him. He knew she wouldn't talk about the incident any further now that she had that defiant look she wore so well. "I debriefed him on what happened, reported the extent of the Colonel's injuries and assured him we had everything under control."
"So you lied," she retorted dryly as she walked beside him back towards the control interface room.
"I beg your pardon? I did not lie."
"Seriously, Rush? This situation is so far out of our control, it's staggering. You lied. Now what are we to do about it?"
X*X*X*X*X
Belle leaned her forearms on the railing where she stood on the walkway overlooking the gate room as Rush addressed the various military, scientists and civilians gathered there to hear what he had to say. Frankly, things did not look good at the moment. With Colonel Young incapacitated due to his injuries, General O'Neill had placed Rush in charge – or so he'd claimed - though that announcement had been met with nothing less than moderate hostility. Many doubted his claim, but Belle hadn't felt as if he were lying when he'd given her the news moments before addressing the assemblage. Rush was the senior scientist on board and in light of his knowledge and experience, she didn't find it that hard to believe the general would put him in a position of authority.
Senator Armstrong was the first to contest him, but the poor man looked as if he were about to collapse. Before she could complete the thought, he did indeed collapse and TJ had to rush to his side to tend him while Chloe hovered over her father worriedly. As much as she disliked the Colonel, she secretly hoped he would regain his strength soon. She couldn't see this position as healthy for Rush, not when there were so many opposed to his leadership. Camille Wray, the human resources administrator - why was she even here, Belle groaned - looked to be the biggest source of contention. She didn't know the woman well, but she wasn't impressed, finding her to be a busy body who tended to stick her nose where it was neither wanted nor needed.
It was escalating into something rather ugly when Lieutenant Scott finally stepped forward, calling for order. "Everyone, calm down! Now, the fact is … Colonel Young put me in charge, and I expect all SG personnel to follow my orders. As for the rest of you," he said, pausing for effect, "you get out of line, we will lock you down. Now, Dr. Rush is right about a couple things. First off, we all have to work together, and second of all, we don't all have to stay here. So, let's move out." He leveled them all with a serious look when they remained rooted to the spot. "Go on, move. It's okay."
Belle felt some of the tension ease from her shoulders as the crowd began to slowly make their way from the gate room to seek out living quarters Eli had located earlier in the ship's schematics. She moved down the stairs to stand behind Rush as Scott spoke quietly to several of his soldiers across the room.
"Well, that could have gone better," she offered wryly as she regarded him. He was tense, sullen and moreover … disappointed. "You certainly didn't win over any new friends."
Rush fought off a shiver as her hand slipped under his hair to rub gently at his nape. "No, I suppose not, Miss French," he replied, "but this isn't a popularity contest. I'm not interested in being liked so long as they work with us."
Belle felt a smile tug at her lips that he'd said us and not I. She knew what it must have cost him to do that, yet lately she'd found him including her more and more. "Then we shall deal with it."
Scott stopped him as they turned to head back to the control interface room. "Dr. Rush, I think we need you, so I've got your back for now. But if I were you, I would find some way to dial that gate back to Earth."
Belle tugged on his sleeve, urging him to follow and grinned. "See, winning friends isn't that hard."
Rush snorted and followed where she led.
X*X*X*X*X
Rush set his radio down on the console and rubbed absently at his temples, his head pounding. At least he could have a few moments of silence in the deserted control room, everyone having some task they'd been assigned. He closed his tired eyes only to yank them open immediately, unable to get the sight of Belle, flushed and panting in his arms, out of his head. He let his head drop against the console and groaned, the sound loud in the silent room. If only she'd want him that way, he thought miserably. Her skin had felt like the finest silk beneath his hands, even if it had only been for a brief moment. She'd been stiff and struggling and he couldn't help but wonder what it would be like to have her soft and pliant and begging for his touch.
His hands dropped to his lap, adjusting the seam of his jeans to relieve the pressure in his building erection. He had to stop thinking about his little assistant that way. It didn't matter how much he wanted … loved … her. She was his assistant, his employee, and yes, he admitted, his friend. She was off limits. He had work to do and didn't have time to indulge in daydreams of what would never be.
As if his wayward thoughts had conjured her, she came breezing into the room, two tin mugs clasped tightly in her hands. He tried to focus on the screen of the console, but he couldn't seem to stop himself from watching her from the corner of his eye. She sat down on the bench behind him, depriving him of the view. He could only hear her rummaging around in that ever-present rucksack she insisted on carting around with her. He swung around to watch her, brows raised.
"You have a bottle of Advil in there?" he asked, surprised. Well, why not? She had every other bloody thing imaginable in that bag.
"Of course. Who packs without including a bottle of pain relievers," she said, shaking two out of the bottle and dropping them into his outstretched hand before handing him the steaming cup. It was then that the heady aroma of one hundred percent Columbian loveliness assailed his nose, and he couldn't bite back the moan of pleasure which bubbled from his lips.
"Ohhhh, Miss French, is that what I think it is?" he asked, praying he was correct in his assumption.
Belle captured her lower lip between her teeth, smiling shyly up at him as she handed him the cup. "I thought it might help."
He sipped at the strong black coffee and swallowed the Advil, once again thanking whatever deity had led his precious little assistant to him so many years ago. "Wherever did you get coffee? Was it packed away in the supplies?"
She shook her head, shifting her gaze to the console. "No, unfortunately. Most of the foodstuffs didn't make it on board. We were left with the powdered gruel and some protein bars, and that's not going to last us long. This was one of the little packets of instant I keep in my bag for emergencies. I maybe have four left," she said, scrunching her face up apologetically. "So I used some of my water rations to mix it and borrowed a little torch from Brody to heat it."
"Thank you," he said, offering her his heartfelt thanks.
Belle grinned cheekily over her shoulder and sipped at the water in her own cup, swallowing down two of the Advil and wishing the water were a cup of Earl Grey. "What would you do without me?"
"You wouldn't happen to have a pack of cigarettes in that magic bag of yours, would you?" he teased, though right now he'd like nothing more than a cigarette to savor with his coffee.
She snorted. "And what would you do if I did? Step outside to have a smoke? Good luck with that one." Her smile faltered just a bit at the open tenderness of his gaze, and she forced her eyes to focus on the screen. She wouldn't allow herself to see something that wasn't there. She was his friend. There was nothing more to be read into that look, she told herself. "So, um … what new discoveries have you come across in my absence, hm?"
He leaned forward on his stool, his shoulder brushing hers as he pointed to the screen, but before he could answer, Eli and Scott strolled into the control room. Rush rose and stepped around her, putting himself between Belle and the men. "What's that?" he asked, his eyes trained on the metal sphere hovering in the air at eye level.
Eli fiddled with the remote in his hands and the sphere circled around Rush to hover in front of Belle. "Flying camera ball. I'm calling it a Kino … y'know after the Russian -"
Scott groaned, already having heard his excited speech once before. "Don't ask."
Rush stared at the Kino, inspecting it. "That's marvelous."
Eli pushed another button and grinned at Belle. "It comes with a remote," he said, showing her the small screen on the handheld device. "I thought we could use it to look around."
Scott stepped behind Belle to peer at the console. "What do you have?"
Rush squeezed between them, the lieutenant standing just a bit too close to Belle. "Well, it's not so good, really. The processing nodes are scrubbers, responsible for cleaning CO2 from the air. Here, here and here," he said, pointing to various locations on the schematic. "It's indicating malfunction and others are failing."
Scott located the closest one and called Greer on the radio to meet him in the gate room, Eli following with the Kino. They passed TJ in the corridor as she came into the room. "Dr. Rush? Colonel Young wants to see you," she said, offering Belle a weary smile.
"And I'm sure when I don't have more pressing matters to attend to, I will run right down to see him," Rush snarked, concentrating on the console.
"How is he?" Belle asked, worried over her friend's haggard appearance.
TJ shrugged. "As well as can be expected, I guess. He's regained consciousness and the paralysis in his legs is slowly leaving him. The next hour or so will give me more to go on. I'll be able to see if he's going to be permanently damaged or if he's going to get stronger."
Rush followed the Kino footage which appeared on his screen, wishing Eli had a firmer grasp on the camera's workings so it would stop whirling about. "Lieutenant, there should be a kind of grate covering the node."
Greer's voice came back after a moment. "Yeah, we found it."
"What do you see?"
Scott's voice was strained over the walkie. "A problem. We see a very big problem."
Finally, the Kino swung to the node and zoomed in on it … and the nasty black sticky gunk it was covered in. His radio crackled, Park and Kane on the other end reporting another door they'd found which would be inaccessible. Belle lifted her radio from her belt and confirmed that she'd marked it off and to keep searching. "Go, Rush, I've got this. It's more important that you tend to the life support issue," she said, urging him to go. "You can't do everything at once."
X*X*X*X*X
Rush crossed his arms over his chest and watched grimly as Brody hunched down and tested the gunk covering the node. The engineer shook his head, confirming their worst fears. "Alkaline."
TJ nodded. "Everyone's heart rates are elevated, people are reporting headaches. It has to be."
"What?" Scott asked.
Brody rose to his feet. "The used-up residue of whatever magic compound the Ancients used to scrub CO2 from the air."
Scott groaned, pacing in agitation. "So, now we have two big problems relating to the life support."
"Our first priority must be to seal off any of the leaks," Rush pressed. "If we can manage that, then we can maybe buy ourselves a day or so before the buildup of CO2 … kills us."
Scott winced, rubbing at the ache in the back of his neck. "As it stands, how much time do we have?"
"I don't know."
Brody shrugged. "Couple of hours at most."
"Huh. Awesome!" Eli snarked from where he was sitting at the base of the stairs in the gate room.
Rush sighed. "Brody, there was some medical-grade soda lime in the supply manifest?"
Dr. Palmer, the blonde geologist, shook her head negatively. "It never made it."
"That's a pity," Rush said, removing his notepad from the pocket of his waistcoat. He hunched down in front of the node and prodded the steaming gunk with the tip of his pencil. "Well, in a ship this old, there's bound to be systems past their designed life."
Scott shifted uncomfortably, feeling Chloe's penetrating gaze on him. "Okay, let's say we find the leaks. Can you fix this?"
Rush huffed a short mirthless laugh. "I doubt this stuff can be cooked off," he said, frowning down at the thick residue now sticking to his ruined pencil. "Perhaps if there were stores of this substance in a clean form, or something else capable of CO2 sequestration, calcium carbonate, lithium hydroxide, then yes, if."
"Okay, well, that's not going to matter because you're going to get the gate dialed back to Earth before this becomes an issue, Rush, right?"
Rush regained his feet and turned to the young officer. "Lieutenant … that's the kind of thing you're taught to say in officer training, presumably for the benefit of those who don't know any better," he said quietly.
Scott moved within inches of the doctor, jaw clenched as he tried to rein in his temper. He refused to lose it in front of the Senator's daughter, not wanting his behavior to reflect badly on himself or his team. The heat went out of him, and he uttered the only word he could find appropriate for the situation. "Please."
Rush regarded him through narrowed eyes, disgusted that everyone put so little faith in him. "What makes you think I won't try?" Without waiting for an answer, he turned on his heel and left the gate room.
X*X*X*X*X
Belle closed her eyes as she leaned her head back against the bulkhead, pulling her feet up onto the bench to wrap her arms around her knees as she sat next to Rush in the control interface room. One of the Kino searches had found a shuttle, two according to Rush, each in their own separate docking sleeves. One was intact. The other, unfortunately, was not. There was a gaping hole where the left viewing window used to be and though the ships shields prevented it from venting the atmosphere, it was not one hundred percent effective. To make matters worse, the bay door was defective and couldn't be closed. Franklin was trying to repair it manually, but hadn't met with much success. There was another door on the rear of the shuttle, but it could only be closed from the inside.
Everyone was quiet, each individual trying to come to terms with the newest dilemma. Except Eli. "My head is pounding," he said into the Kino. "Heartbeat has accelerated. It's getting harder and harder to breathe." His voice dropped dramatically. "As our very lives are being vented out into space."
If the situation hadn't been so precarious, Belle would have been hard pressed not to laugh. Scott reached for the remote to take it away from him, but Eli danced out of reach. "That is going to get very old, very fast," the young lieutenant admonished.
The Kino hovered near his shoulder as Eli's gaze flitted back and forth between the occupants gathered in the room. "This needs to be documented."
"No one's going to see that," Scott said irritably.
"How do you know? We made it here. Someone else could, too. If we die, maybe this can help them find out what happened to us."
Rush leaned forward, resting his palms against his knees. "Yeah, well we're not dead yet," he snapped. "We don't have a choice. Someone is going to have to go in there and close that door."
Belle's eyes flew open as an idea occurred to her. "What if we pilot a Kino into the shuttle and drop it down onto the door switch? Is that possible?"
Rush whipped his head around to stare at her in stunned surprise, but Eli quickly shot that idea down. "That won't work. The Kinos are designed to fly at a certain height. I've already tried to reprogram one, but it's resistant to everything I've tried. The only way it will fly lower is if it's weighed down with something. Even if I were able to do that, there's no way I could get it to then press down on the switch."
Rush nudged her gently with his shoulder. "It was still a good idea."
Eli turned back to his Kino. "I'm starting to have slightly blurred ..."
"Eli!" Scott snapped.
"What?!"
Scott crossed his arms over his chest and turned back to Rush. "So how are we going to decide who?"
"I assume we're not going to get any volunteers," the doctor said dryly.
Chloe paced around one of the consoles. "What's another day going to buy us?"
"Time … to find a way to survive," he told her quietly, holding out his hand to TJ. "May I see the list?"
TJ passed him the clipboard she'd been holding to her chest. "I marked the names of anyone injured."
Rush carefully perused the list. "We have to find out people's skills, background, experience ..."
"Rush ..." Belle sighed, casting him a pained look.
"It doesn't take any special skills to die from asphyxiation!" the lieutenant yelled angrily.
Rush pushed himself up from the bench. "Look, what I'm saying is it shouldn't be someone with potentially valuable knowledge or abilities we might need to help us survive beyond this."
A gasp of horror slipped past Chloe's parted lips. "Are you really suggesting what I think …"
Scott interrupted before she could finish the thought. "Half the people on this ship already want to kill you."
"I don't care."
Chloe stared at him, wondering what had happened in his life to make him so cold and unfeeling. "You can't ask someone to sacrifice themselves … period."
He returned her pointed glare. "Politicians ask military personnel to sacrifice themselves for the good of others all the time. If someone doesn't go in there and close that door, we're all gonna die … period."
X*X*X*X*X
"Miss French, why don't you sit down? You look like you're about to collapse," Rush said, frowning at his assistant where she was slumped dejectedly against the console.
Belle pulled the clipboard out of his hands, taking note of his scribblings next to some of the names. "No, we have work to do," she protested. "Volker? Seriously, Rush? He's an astrophysicist." Though not a very good one, she had to admit. She snorted when she noticed there were three lines drawn through her own name. "Why is my name marked off? There are plenty of others more qualified to be here than me."
"You're worth more than three Volkers any day of the week, Miss French, as I'm sure you are well aware," he deadpanned, arching a brow at her.
She snorted, setting the clipboard to the side of the console, and rubbing at the headache the Advil had seemingly had no effect on. "Regardless of what you think, we can't ask anyone to sacrifice themselves, Rush."
"If I can get the door override working," Eli said as he entered various keystrokes into the console he hovered over across the room, "we won't have to ask anyone to do it."
"Ah, the optimism of youth," Rush snarked, his voice dripping with sarcasm. Belle cut him a scathing glare. "Don't look at me like that, Miss French. We have to be realistic. It's one or all of us."
"What if we jammed something under the door long enough to give the person inside time to get out?"
Eli answered without looking up. "Franklin and Greer already tried that. We don't have anything strong enough."
"How about welding something over the door?" she asked despite the fact that she knew she was grasping at straws.
Rush shook his head sadly. "If we could find something suitable, we would still run out of air before the repair could be made. Our only option is for someone to close it from the inside."
"Rush -"
"Greer, this is Scott, come in," came the lieutenant's voice over the radio clipped to Belle's waist. The radio was still tuned to the channel she'd used earlier to talk with the master sergeant. "Greer? Greer, do you read? Senator Armstrong is missing. He may be headed your way."
The senator was in terrible shape, bleeding internally from the wounds he'd sustained in the attack on the base. Belle's fingers dug painfully into Rush's arm as she turned to him, her eyes wide with horror. "Rush, you don't think Chloe told her father about -"
"If I were to hazard a guess, then yes, it would seem so," he said, frowning down at the radio in her hand.
Greer finally answered and confirmed their suspicions. "He's here. He's got a gun." He left the link open, and his voice crackled through the room. "I don't want to shoot you," he murmured softly, Belle recognizing that tone as the one he used when trying to reason with someone. "And I don't think you want to shoot me."
Senator Armstrong could be heard, his usually commanding tone weak, his breathing labored. "Get out of the way."
Franklin's voice came as if from a distance. "Just give me a little more time. Let me try and fix this."
Belle twisted her hands in the fabric of Rush's waistcoat. "He's not going to be able to fix it, is he?"
Rush shook his head and slipped his arm around her shoulders, pulling her trembling form closer to offer support and comfort.
Eli clicked on his own radio. "Guys, I'm not seeing any change. Whatever you just tried, it's not working!"
Rush looked over at Eli. "The problem's obviously mechanical."
Belle lifted her gaze to his, willing the tears threatening not to spill over her lashes. "Can't you try?"
"We've tried everything we can to fix that door, Belle. There's nothing more we can do," Rush murmured somberly, feeling her pain as if it were his own. He wasn't the heartless monster they all thought he was. He didn't want to sacrifice anyone, yet it was necessary to save everyone else on board.
They stared down at the console as the interior camera in the shuttle showed the senator stagger into the pilot's seat and sit down. He pressed the button and the bay door shut with a resounding clang as Chloe and Scott's voices erupted over the radio.
"Dad! No, wait!" she cried, pounding on the door. "Dad, no! No! No! No! Open the door! Open the door, please!"
Franklin cried, "I can't."
Greer explained to Scott hoping to head off the other man's furious speech. "He was dead on his feet."
"Eli! Eli, please, not him!" Chloe sobbed, pleading with Eli over the radio.
Rush pressed Belle's head tightly to his chest, covering her ears with his hands so she wouldn't hear anymore. Eli's face scrunched up in anguish as he lifted his radio closer to his mouth. "There's … There's nothing I can do from here."
Belle sobbed quietly in his arms, her entire body shaking gently as he rubbed a callused hand over her back. He reached over and pressed several buttons, banishing the image of the senator's expired form in the shuttle. He pried the radio from her cold fingers and switched it off, unable to bear the sound of the girl's grief on the other end. "Well, at least he bought us a day."
Belle pushed roughly out of his arms, her eyes shooting icy blue daggers at him. "How can you say that!?"
"Miss French -"
Whatever he'd been about to say was abruptly cut off as Chloe raced into the room and barreled into him, putting all the weight of her thin frame into it, knocking him back to sprawl atop one of the benches as she pummeled him with her fists. Rush raised his arms over his head, trying to block her blows, refusing to strike back and take the risk of hurting the distraught girl.
"You! You did this!" she shrieked, pounding into him with all the pent-up rage and pain she felt, wanting to share it with the one she blamed. "You killed him! You've killed all of us!"
Scott rushed in behind her, grabbing her around the waist, trying to pull her off the doctor. "Chloe, stop!" he said, slipping an arm across her chest and pinning one of her arms. "A little help here!" TJ darted forward to grab the girl's flailing free arm as Rush slowly rose to his feet, staring at her with sorrow in his dark eyes.
Chloe still struggled against Scott and TJ as they held her tightly. "Get away from me … all of you!"
Belle closed the distance between them, taking the girl's hand in hers and giving it a comforting squeeze, but Scott was reluctant to let go of her. "Chloe, please. You have to stop. You think you're the only one who's ever lost someone they loved? He chose his own fate. You think he did this for us? For any of us?"
"It's his fault," Chloe hissed, pointing a finger at Rush. "My father didn't have a choice."
"Yes he did!" Belle stated emphatically. "He found out what was going on and saw this as the only way he could save you … you, Chloe. He didn't do this for us, he did it for you! Don't disrespect or belittle his choice by casting blame on someone else."
Chloe stared back at her through narrowed eyes. "Oh, please," she sneered. "You will do or say anything to defend your precious Dr. Rush. He's got you brainwashed into going along with anything he says, no matter who gets stepped on and trampled in the process."
Belle shook her head in denial. "Rush has faults, just as much as anyone, and when he's wrong, which is more often than you would think, I will be the first one to tell him. This isn't about him. This is what your father chose to do. He was hurt - badly - and he saw this as his last great act of love for his only daughter." Tears fell over her lashes as her mind flashed back to another sacrifice, one which had left her raw and bleeding. She knew exactly how the girl was feeling. "At least you have friends here who care about you, who will support you and care for you through your grief. I didn't have anyone."
Her lower lip trembled as her mouth fell open, realizing what she'd said, what she'd revealed, and she quickly turned, taking in the stunned expression on Rush's face. Without another word, she ran from the control room, leaving behind a stunned silence at her outburst. She needed to be alone, she needed space to pull her ragged emotions back under her firm control and bury the past back in that little corner of her mind where it couldn't hurt her anymore. Where it belonged.
X*X*X*X*X
Belle stared out the great panoramic window on the observation deck, her legs dangling over the edge of the floor, her arms propped on the metal railing as she took in the beauty of the ship moving through FTL. Her tears had dried long ago, yet she didn't have the will to pull herself up from her perch and drag herself back to the control room. Her mind whispered that she had work to do, that Rush needed her by his side to muddle through the vast amount of data they needed to acquaint themselves with, but her heart screamed that she wasn't ready. It needed time, despite the fact that she had little of that to spare.
She caressed the tea cup pendant which hung about her neck, the same charm Gold had given her when he'd returned from Neverland, promising she'd never have to worry about losing her memories of them again. When she'd run from Storybrooke after he'd sacrificed himself to save them all, she'd been so tempted to take it off, to forget the pain, the heartbreak, the utter despair of his loss, but she couldn't bear the thought of becoming Lacey again. He wouldn't have wanted that. He'd loved her - Belle - so Belle she would be. Broken, lost and alone. But she wasn't alone anymore. She had Nicholas and she had her work and her work had led to her new friends, TJ, Greer and Eli. The circle of life which kept turning and leading her forward into a new future.
Magic can do much, dearie, but it can't bring back the dead. She'd heard that so much over the years, it would be something she'd always remember. He'd never be able to come back to her, she knew that and no amount of praying or wishing would make it so. Now she was a billion light years from home, on the opposite side of the universe. She couldn't go back if she wanted to … which she didn't. There was nothing left for her on Earth, and she needed to stop dwelling on the pain she found whenever his memory surfaced. She would always love Gold, he'd always hold her heart, but one day she hoped she would find a way to bring forth his memory without the constant debilitating pain.
She thought of the poor girl she'd left in the control room. Chloe's father had made the same kind of sacrifice and she couldn't help but think of the father she'd left in Storybrooke. Somehow, she couldn't imagine Maurice French making the same sacrifice for her. He hadn't tried to stop her from leaving when she'd made her deal with Rumpelstiltskin, and he'd turned his back on her when she'd fallen in love and decided to stay with the Dark One. No, she couldn't see him dying to save them all. She'd run for ten years, run from everything Storybrooke had represented, constantly looking over her shoulder. One day they would find themselves in another crisis and need Gold. When that happened, she - being the only one to know more than a few of his secrets - would need to be found in order to rescue them. She couldn't - wouldn't - return. Ever. They were on their own.
Belle stiffened as the door opened, but she didn't turn to see who it was. She'd know that soft tread anywhere. Whether it was a soft hesitant step as it was now or the sure confident stride he used when he was working. Warmth flooded her, almost able to feel the concern radiating from him. Rush was her rock, he had been for years now as their working relationship had blossomed into a deep friendship. He slowly lowered himself to her side, unsure of what to say, though she knew it wouldn't take him long to find the words. It never did. But instead of asking how she was or what her outburst had been about, he stretched out his hand and opened his fingers to reveal a solitary pink watermelon Jolly rancher resting on his palm. Her favorite. He must have opened the new package she had stowed away in her bag. It amazed her that he paid enough attention to know the flavor she preferred the most.
She accepted his offering, peeling off the wrapper and popping the sweet candy into her mouth, the flavor bringing her comfort and a sense of normalcy. Her heart was still a bit ragged, but his presence seemed to ease the ache, something she was beginning to realize he was able to do more and more often. She didn't want to examine it too closely. If she did, she'd have to admit to herself that her feelings towards him were more than the platonic friendship she shared with him. She didn't know if she would ever allow herself to love again, not wanting to suffer through the heartbreak of losing someone else she loved. What they had was safe and that's how she planned to keep it.
They sat in silence for a good while before she found the will to speak. "Thank you," she mumbled, her voice a ragged whisper.
Rush kept his eyes trained on the view before them, giving her the time she needed, scared to make a sudden move and have her bolting from the room. "Why don't you ever talk about him, Miss French? It helped me to talk to you about Gloria."
"I know, and I'm glad you cared enough to share that with me." Her palm slid easily into his as she twined their fingers together. "I know it was difficult for you."
"Miss -"
"Will you please stop calling me that?" she asked softly. "In light of our new circumstances where we don't know if we're going to live or die, I'd really like ..."
"Belle," he amended, squeezing her hand. He wanted nothing more than to pull her into his arms, to tell her he wouldn't allow any harm to come to her, but he wouldn't lie to her when things were so uncertain. He cared too much to make light of their situation with false assurances. He would have to content himself with sitting by her side, her warm hand clasped within his own.
"There was this man - very evil if you believe someone can be categorized as such - he was a threat to everyone. The only way to stop him ..." Her voice trailed off, a tear slowly trickling from the corner of her eye as she tried to open up to him. She would never be able to tell him of her past. He'd think she was insane if she told him about fairy tales come to life in the modern world. "Gold sacrificed himself to save us. He did it to save me and his son."
"His son? Not yours?" Rush asked, stroking his thumb gently over the back of her hand as he listened.
"Not mine. Bae is a few years older than I am. It's complicated. But Gold didn't care that he was saving everyone. He did it for the two of us," she confided in him, some of the bitterness she'd harbored for years, easing away.
"You said you didn't have anyone. Surely his son would have been there for -"
"I had no one. I witnessed Gold's death first hand, unable to do a thing to stop him and every last one of those people - people I thought were my friends ..." she couldn't go on, a broken sob tearing from her throat. "They left me there sobbing in the street without a word as they set about to clean up the mess Pan left. Not even Bae offered one word of sympathy. So, I left. I left and never looked back. They didn't care about Gold, and they didn't care about me. What did I have there to make me stay?"
"And the senator's sacrifice dredged up everything you'd experienced back to the surface."
Belle brushed angrily at her tears and buried her memories deep within her, vowing it was the last she would ever allow them to surface. "It doesn't matter. I just hope Chloe is able to heal quicker than I did. She has people here who care for her and will help her through this."
Rush gently lifted her face to meet his gaze. "In all the late-night chats we shared, why did you never tell me?"
Belle smiled fondly at the memory of working late with him first as his TA and then later on the Icarus project. Coffee and tea and cold Chinese takeout. Long talks of what their goals were and how to meet them. One particular night she'd found him nursing a bottle of scotch in his darkened office, full of regret that he hadn't been able to save Gloria. He'd bared his soul to her. That was the night she realized she cared for him as more than just her teacher and mentor. "It's not something I like to talk about, Rush. It's the past and that's where it should remain."
"Is it selfish of me to be thankful you're here with me?" he asked, his lips quirking up slightly in a wry grin.
"Facing our impending doom? Not at all," she quipped, feeling lighter by the moment. "I can honestly say there's no place I'd rather be."
He rose to his feet, pulling her up with him, his fingers still entwined with hers. "Then shall we get back to work?"
"Yes, I -" She was interrupted by the radio squawking at her waist.
"Rush!" An alarm sounded in the background and his brows drew together into a deep frown. "Rush! Someone's dialing the gate!"
X*X*X*X*X
Belle was out of breath by the time she and Rush reached the gate room. Their mad dash down the corridor with the added situation of their failing life support, left her fighting to pull enough air into her lungs and she collapsed against the console next to Riley.
Rush was surprised to see the colonel. "Colonel Young, you're up," he murmured cautiously, his features closed off into a blank mask.
Young huffed a short laugh. "Nice to see you too, Rush. I did order you to report to me."
"Yes," he admitted, waving him off, "but what are you doing?"
"We're trying to dial Earth."
Rush bristled with outrage, barely concealed and contained. "That would be a mistake."
Young smiled, the gesture pained as if he were smelling something unpleasant but didn't want anyone to know. "Riley thinks he's found the address for home."
Belle sidled up next to Eli and watched him adjust the settings on the Kino which was recording the exchange between the colonel and the lead scientist.
"His understanding of Ancient is marginal at best," Rush sneered.
Riley took exception to that, but managed to maintain a neutral tone. "With respect, doctor, I know enough to recognize a reference to Earth."
"He says the address wasn't that hard to find, Rush."
Rush stared hard at the colonel. The man never ceased to be a thorn in his side, and he was beginning to rue the day he'd met him. "No, no. This is a complete waste of power we may need."
Scott stood next to his commanding officer to lend his support. "We have the address back. All we need is the right point of origin."
That infuriating grin was back on Young's face. "And we've got thirty-six tries."
"We'll be adrift with no power if you persist with this," Belle snapped, glowering at the colonel.
"We barely have enough power to operate the main systems. This ship simply doesn't have the capability to dial Earth," Rush said.
"You see, that's news to me."
Eli's anxious gaze swung between the two. "He didn't tell me that either."
"Well, I've only just learned myself." Rush pointed an accusing finger in Eli's direction, hissing, "And you know what I've been doing."
Young leveled Belle with a steely glance. "But I suppose you knew, didn't you, Miss French? Because everyone knows that Rush doesn't do a damn thing you're not privy to."
Belle shrugged, returning his gaze with one of her own. She would not let him intimidate her. She'd stood up to the most powerful sorcerer in the Enchanted Forest and chosen her own fate once upon a time. She refused to quake in her boots before an Air Force colonel or anyone else. "One of the many perks of my job, Colonel."
Young sighed. "Even if it doesn't work, the people aboard this ship need to see us at least try."
The gate continued to whir and grind as Rush advanced on Young, not afraid to get in the man's face to get his point across. "So what, you're going to drain what little power we have for the sake of morale? How ridiculous!"
The ship groaned and Belle had to grab the edge of the console as a wave of dizziness washed over her. Scott looked around, bewildered. "What was that?"
"The FTL drive just disengaged," Belle replied, gently nudging Riley aside so she could pull up the necessary data on the screen.
"Why?" Riley asked. "Because we're draining power?"
Rush's mouth quirked up in a small knowing smile. "No. If I'm right, the gate should begin to dial at any moment."
The gate did indeed begin to dial, the soft whir and grind filling the stunned silence of the gate room. "How did you know that?" Scott asked suspiciously.
"The ship detected a stargate on a planet within range which may have what we need," Rush told them, confident he was right.
"What?" Young asked. "How the hell are there even stargates out here?"
Rush cast the colonel a condescending smirk as he quickly explained. "The Ancients sent out a number of unmanned ships ahead of this one. They're programmed to gather data, resources, to manufacture stargates and deposit them on habitable worlds. Any relevant information is relayed back here to help plot the course."
"You're telling me that this ship knows we're in trouble?" Young asked incredulously.
Rush whirled around, glaring at the colonel, his attention finally focusing away from the gate. "Yes, because I told it we were," he snapped. "Essentially, we're flying on autopilot. This ship may have stopped when it was in range of a stargate, regardless of our need. But I have reason to believe ..."
The gate whooshed outward, the wormhole now open and settled into the puddle.
Young raked a hand through his short cropped dark hair as he stared at the event horizon held within the gate. "So, what we need is on the other side of that wormhole."
Rush smirked. "An educated guess, yes."
Young limped forward, his awkward gait taking him closer to the stargate. "Well, there's only one way to find out.
"Sir, you can't do that. We have no idea what's on the other side," Riley argued.
Eli rushed forward. "We can use the Kino to find out."
Rush found a new appreciation for Eli's new toy. "I expect that's the purpose of this device," he said, watching it fly through the puddle to the other side, disappearing through the wormhole.
Belle's smiling voice filled the silence as they waited. "I'm getting readings over here. Temperature, gravity, atmosphere composition, barometric pressure, oxygen, nitrogen, very little CO2, extremely low humidity. Habitable but barely."
Rush nodded. "Good enough."
"Looks like four other addresses came up here, too," Brody called as he hovered over the second console with Dr. Park. Rush moved to his side and looked over the data.
"No, no, no. They're locked out. The ship chose this one. The stargate is open, all we have to do is step through," Rush said, not wanting to take a chance on something the ship strongly advised against.
Young shook his head. "No, what we have to do is put a team together."
X*X*X*X*X
Belle tossed a pair of pants over the giant crate of … well, she didn't know what was in it. It was one of the crates the Ancients had left in one of the many storage bays which Rush ducked behind to change for his foray down to the planet. She was furious and didn't care if he caught the military grade uniform pants or if they whacked him upside his stubborn head.
"I don't see why I can't go. Palmer's going, though you didn't choose her. Is it because I'm a woman or because you have so little faith in me?" she asked, boiling mad because they'd excluded her from the chosen team being sent to search for the things they needed to repair the life support system.
Rush glared at her in exasperation over the top of the crate. "You know I have every faith in you. Palmer is a geologist, Belle. She is necessary for this mission."
She tossed him a pair of boots next. "I could go in Franklin's place. You don't like him anyway."
Franklin glared at her from across the room. "Thanks for that, Belle," he spat acidly.
Belle ignored him as Rush worked on getting his feet into the heavy boots. "Franklin has his uses. It was either him, Brody or Volker. I would have preferred having Brody on the team, but the colonel chose Franklin. I had nothing to do with that decision." He grunted as the jacket came flying over the crate and got tangled around his head. He was slowly losing his patience with her.
She braced her hands atop the crate and glowered at him, her mouth pressed into a tight thin bloodless line. "I'm your assistant. If you go, then so should I be allowed."
"You're not trained to go offworld. Perhaps if the climate were better, I would consider it," he offered, pulling on the jacket.
"Eli isn't trained either and he's going! The boy was beamed out of his house … yesterday! His most recent foray into the great outdoors involves going to the 7-eleven for a slurpee ..."
"Hey!" Eli called, struggling into his own boots.
"… so your ingenious excuses just do not hold weight, Rush!"
Scott and Greer snickered quietly as they dressed for duty and Rush ground his teeth together. She was working herself into a fine rage and it would only worsen if he didn't somehow put a stop to it. He grabbed her elbow in a firm grip and pulled her into the shadows and hopefully out of earshot of the remaining occupants of the large room.
"Stop it," he hissed, his features showing the tension in the lines around his eyes and mouth. "You're not going. The colonel agrees with me - for once - and there will be no more arguing."
"Wanna bet?" she threatened.
"Belle, there is still much work to be done here on the ship. I have nine searches running in the database, there are still sections of the ship which need to be searched for damage and I'm hoping that soon you will find us suitable quarters. I need you here," he whispered urgently. "I'm depending on you."
"You play dirty, Nicholas Rush," she fairly growled, folding her arms over her chest and raising her chin obstinately. She couldn't ask the questions which plagued her and continue to meet his gaze at the same time. "What if you get caught on the other side and can't get back to the ship?" she asked in a small voice.
He slung his pack over his back and led her from the storage bay and back into the gate room, the rest of the team already assembled near the ramp. He pointed to the countdown clock embedded over the door in the gate room. "Look. We have twelve hours to gather what we need and get back to the ship before we jump back into FTL. I will be back. I promise."
Rush strode up the ramp, following the team which was already disappearing through the event horizon. Before he could step through, he turned and met her anxious gaze, taking note of the way she worriedly bit her lip. All they had was each other. It would be easier to sever a limb than permanently leave her behind. Twelve hours would be plenty of time to find the things they needed and return to her. What could go wrong?
"Wait!" she called, sprinting up the ramp to reach his side. She reached into her pocket and pulled out a handful of Jolly Ranchers and tucked them into his pocket. "For luck."
He hesitated only a moment, his sable eyes caressing her face with his warm gaze and then he stepped through the puddle.