A/N: Surpise! Daycare Love is back! I'm sorry this took years to update. I'm not really too satisfied with my writing here and there're probably lots of typos and grammar errors but I hope you still can enjoy it. Thank you for waiting!

Chapter four - Guilt

Juvia would like to think she was a professional at keeping work related matters at work and work only. However, that night after her very…interesting first day of work, she could no longer call herself a pro.

There she was, tossing and turning in bed, left and right and her thoughts would not stop. Gray would not go away. Aster would not disappear.

As wrong as it may sound, if it was another family, Juvia would have been sleeping like a baby hours ago but this was Gray. He wasn't some random stranger. He was her best friend, even how much she knew she had no right calling him that anymore after what she did to him.

Seeing Gray again after all those years brought back so many memories from their childhood and teenage did feelings return, feelings she didn't remember she had.

As all these thoughts

Yesterday in the break room, Cana was unable to explain further what exactly she meant by Aster not having a mother but if she would bring it up again Juvia wouldn't push her about it. She felt like Gray should be the person to tell her if he wanted to but if he didn't want to she wouldn't be disappointed.

But to say Juvia wasn't curious was a lie. There were a couple possibilities she thought about. Did Gray's partner pass away? Did they have a bad break-up? Or maybe Gray really wanted to raise a child on his own? The first options were possible but the third? It didn't seem likely, considering he would have ''only'' been as young as twenty one or twenty two when Aster was born. Also the fact that Gray wanted to prioritise his career. Juvia recalled the day Gray told her just that.

It was friday, after school,which meant it was Caramade Franks day for the blue and raven hair best friends. They were sitting on a bench in Magnolia park eating while simultaneously playing something like 21 ish questions.

''No way you like pineapple on pizza!'' Gray couldn't believe what he was hearing.''I was rooting for you, Juvia''

''Oh please'' Juvia rolled her eyes at her best friend's very dramatic reaction. ''Have you actually tried it or have you just decided to agree with what randoms on the internet?''

Silence.

''Thought so''

As she was trying to come up with a question to ask him next, she saw a family. A father, a mother and a child. The child looked between one and two years old. They were playing football, the parents cheering every time their little one kicked the football which made the toddler beam and sometimes go ''Yay!''. Their interaction made Juvia's heart melt. She hoped that one day she would have what they have; A happy family.

''Okay, this is deeper than the other questions. Do you see yourself with a family of your own in the future?

''Yes'' Gray answered smiling, without hesitation. ''I would like to settle down with my person and hopefully have mini versions of us running around our house. Only if she wants to, I know how painful birth can be''

Gray's unexpected answer made Juvia look at him in awe. The fact he would give up on having children, for his partner's sake. Whoever that will be is going to be one lucky woman.

''But first I want to focus on my studies. You know how passionate I'm on becoming an architect''

''Damn, who thought that the Gray Fullbuster, one of the most popular boys in school, was softer than a teddy bear. I guarantee you there are plenty of volunteers in your fan club'' May or may not include myself but I will take that to my grave.

''Oh shut it, Lockser'' He gave her a light smack on her arm. ''You better not tell a soul, especially fire-breath cause otherwise he will make fun of me until the day I die and that will be on you''

''Yes, don't worry, these lips are sealed. Even though that would be hilari- Ow!'' She got cut off by receiving another slap on her arm.

Juvia grabbed her phone from the nightstand to look at the time.

3:38

''Fuck this shit'' She cursed and didn't waste another second in bed and swiftly got up. She removed her pyjamas and changed into sportswear. Maybe a way-too-early-in-the-morning run would help her get some sleep.

Spoiler alert: It did not help.

Entering the break room, Juvia was greeted by one of her colleagues. Someone she knew very well.

''Good morning, Juvia!'' It was Levy McGarden.

Levy was another old friend of hers. She was exceptionally intelligent, definitely the most intelligent person Juvia knew and found it slightly strange she hadn't chosen a different career instead in early childhood education. She always imagined Levy being a scientist, a researcher or even a librarian since she was a bookworm. Saying she loved books was an understatement. It was an (healthy) obsession. Juvia remembered one year when they still were in high school, over the summer Levy had read nearly fifty books. Fifty! Voluntarily!

Despite everything, if working with children was something Levy was passionate about and it brought her joy, Juvia was happy for her and she was more than happy to have her as a colleague.

''Morning''

''Oh dear, you look, uh…'' Levy was struggling to find the right word upon seeing Juvia's drowsy state with big dark circles under her eyes.

''Like death?'' Juvia finished the sentence for her. ''I know. I didn't get a blink of sleep last night but nothing a cup or two of coffee can't fix.'' Or a mega pint.

''Not the word I would have chosen but close enough''

To be honest, speaking with Levy made Juvia uncomfortable. Not because Levy was making her uncomfortable but because Juvia felt guilty. Not only had she most likely hurt Gray but she also hurt all of her friends back then and Juvia still couldn't bring to forgive herself.

''Levy''

''Yeah?''

''I'm aware that you guys let me know everything is okay between us but I'm really sorry for hurting you and I hope you'll still accept me as your friend'' Tears were forming in the corner of her eyes. It was only her second day at work and yet she was having a meltdown, really?

''Juvia…'' Levy stood up from where she was sitting and rushed to Juvia to hug her. ''Of course I still want to be friends'''

''Are you sure?''

''Yes, Juvia'' Levy reassured her and let go of the embrace to meet her eyes. ''I promise''

''Thank you so much'' Juvia wiped away the tears that had fallen down her cheek.

''I need to go to work now but I'll see you later, okay?''

''Okay.''

Levy gave her a last smile until she wasn't in sight.

Now Juvia really needs that mega pint.

It was now eight o'clock and time for Juvia to start work. When she entered the corridor at her department, Gray stood by the door waving his hand while saying bye to Aster.

Yesterday Juvia was going to inform Gray of Aster's day, including the situation at nap time where Aster had brought up the nightmares that have been occurring. Unfortunately she had already finished work before he arrived for pick up. Hopefully Meredy had forwarded the message.

The good news is that after Aster woke up from his nap, he said that he slept well and without any nightmares. As Juvia was in a crouching position to see and hear him better, he wrapped his arms around her in a hug which surprised her. Nonetheless she hugged him back gently to not crush his tiny body. He was adorable.

When Gray noticed Juvia, he had a big smile plastered to his face. Juvia knew it was genuine but she could feel that behind his smile, there was hut. He shouldn't be smiling at her like that, she didn't. She didn't deserve his perfect smile, she didn't deserve his hugs, she didn't deserve his kindness. Nothing.

''Juvia, good morning''

''Good morning, Gray'' She gave him a smile back, trying her best to hide her anxiety that was building up inside her. And the guild.

''So, Meredy told me what happened at nap time yesterday and I just wanted to thank you personally, for helping Aster. He slept like a baby last night too''

Stop it, Gray. Stop being so nice to me.

''Gray, you know you don't have to thank me. I'm just doing my job but I'm really happy to hear that I could be of help. And if there's anything else I can help with, please don't hesitate to ask'' Juvia managed both to keep eye contact with him and also not stutter. She was anxious as hell but she needed to stay professional no matter how difficult it was.

''Well actually…Never mind. I'll see you later, Juvia'' He gave her a small wave before Juvia was the only one in the corridor.

''See you later'' Juvia wondered what he was about to say but shrugged it off. It was probably nothing important.

Or was it?