Chapter 4: Her
The days following Christmas day were unnoticed by most of the magic community. The whole world had paralyzed itself after the news of several death eaters escaping Azkaban. He had not heard from any of his friends nor his mother, but his plan of owling her was kept present in his mind day and night.
The Daily prophet had done a full insight news and interviews, not helping to ease the situation. Draco could see how Andromeda was on the edge and so was Ted. He imagined that this news caused a series of flashbacks and sense of déjà vu on every wizard and witch that lived throughout the first wizard war. Muggles would call it PTSD, wizards would call it a nightmare without end. As if a giant Boggart would've appeared and terrorize everyone at the same time.
Draco decided to spend his days in his room. He offered no comfort to the people around him and felt useless and powerless.
He had information, important information that could change the sequence of events that were to unravel if what everyone thought was right. And yet, his hands were tied. He could not reveal his truth. But he could help.
Draco did not remember exactly where the golden trio had found each of the horcruxes in detail but had a vague idea. However, could he save all those people that were now part of his life without altering the future as it should be?
He made mental note to speak with Professor Dumbledore. Perhaps by trusting a more experience wizard he could help the order and save Fred, Lupin and Tonks, among others.
Draco's plan of sending an owl to his mother became a thing of the past the minute that a familiar owl approached Andromeda's home. He knew that owl. It did not matter if it was this life or another, Narcissa's favorite owl had not changed.
Andromeda had gasped at the sight of the owl and the fact that was carrying a letter and not a howler this time. They had stared at the piece of paper with Draco's name in it for too long. So long, that Ted had come back from his work and questioned the two regarding if they were to open the letter or wait for it to start screaming insults once again.
Draco decided to take the letter and read it in the comfort and privacy of his room.
The uncertainty of his mother's words and the overwhelming feeling that the content of this letter had everything to do with the Azkaban situation.
He tried to remember how the events had developed previously but the dates and chronology of events were fuzzy in his head. He remembered that the breakout from Azkaban had initiated a chain of events that would end with him being forced into the followers of the Dark Lord and with him having orders to kill Dumbledore.
Would it be the same in this world?
For the first time in months, he remembers his scars, the ones that he had self-inflicted after the war in a vain attempt to erase the mark of Voldemort and his followers. But in this world, there was nothing. Just his fair and pale skin.
The letter in his hands felt like he was holding a brick filled with expectations and remorse, but at the same time it felt like it was burning his fingers and his skin.
He knew he had to open the letter. But was it wrong of him to want to stay in this dream where he had managed to feel loved and at ease?
He thought of his friends, he thought of Hermione. With whom he had developed a strange sense of calm but also…she was in his mind constantly. Had she always been this attractive and he never noticed? Had he been blind for 6 years? Had the ideology imposed by his father altered his perception of reality to the point where people looked completely different?
"Maybe, she can help me with this" – He thought to himself and by leaving his mother's letter aside he sat in his desk and wrote a small note to Hermione.
"Hermione,
Mother has written.
Come to Andromeda's.
Draco. "
He knew he could easily owl Potter or Weasley, but he felt like he needed her.
He was still processing all the feelings that had awaken in him. Feelings that could not still decide if they were his or other Draco.
He grabbed the family owl and instructed him to fly to the Granger's residence. He saw the old owl fly with difficulty as the sun was setting and with that he returned to his solitude in his room.
It was uncertain how long time could pass until Hermione would be able to come to his home, or if she would come at all. "She will come" – Said the voice in his head, giving him hopes. And it was correct.
Not long after two hours of sending the message, she was knocking on his door. "I was not home when your owl came, but I came as fast as I could" – She said after he had opened the door. He hair was a mess, as if she had run to him and before he could stop himself, he found himself arranging some of the locks behind her ears.
She did not seem bothered by it, as if it was something common for him to do for her.
"Have you read it yet?" – She asked while she stripped herself of her coat and shoes. He shook his head, negating but not speaking a word. It seemed like every time he was in her presence his ability to talk became impaired. – "Well... open it. "– She said grabbing the envelope and handing it to him before sitting in his bed and patting the space next to her.
"I'm not sure If I want to read it." – He said finally after sitting next to her. – "I know I said I was going to send her a letter to see if she knew something about what happened in Azkaban, but… she hasn't talk to me in six years, Hermione. What could she possibly want after six years? And what kind of mother shuns his only son because he's not a Slytherin?! – He found himself increasing the volume of his voice as the more upset he felt. His face felt as if it was burning, and his heartbeat had increased by a couple of beats.
"I know" – She just said while looking at him with a concerned expression. She, then, decided to put one of her hands on top of his. Sending a shockwave through his hand to his arm and the rest of his body.
He jumps out of the bed and away from her. He did not like how that made him feel.
"Just… read it for me. "– He finally said while giving the envelope to the girl sitting in his bed. "Who would've thought it, huh? Hermione Granger is in your room, and in your bed." – Said the voice again, this time dismissing it as soon as it had come.
Hermione looked at him in silence while holding the envelope in her hands, and with a final breath she ripped open the piece of paper with her friend's name on it. From it she extracted a small note, written with emerald ink.
She read the note a couple of times before sighing and nervously looking at him. "She... she says that is time for you to go home and take your place as the only male Malfoy remaining. "– Draco turned, only showing his back to her. He did not want her to see the expression on his face.
It felt like a bucket of ice had fallen on his head. It felt like with those only words she had confirmed what he and Sirius had thought. She knew where Bellatrix and the rest were. She knew what had happened in Azkaban and what is to come.
Perhaps it was time for him to tell his friends the truth about him. And about what he knew.
"Are you okay?" – She asked and felt how she had touched his back in a way to comfort him. He nodded softly while trying to regain his usual composure. – "What are you planning to do?" – That was a very good question, he thought to himself.
From his point of view, he had two choices: One, he could comply with her request and repeat the same story and end up in a world where he would betray every person that had gotten to know and appreciated. Two, tell the truth about his life, his real life, risk the friendship he had formed with them, but use his knowledge to help them and prevent the death of so many people he cared about.
"I don't know" – He just reply. He sincerely did not know what he was going to do. – "I think I need to be alone now. Thanks for coming. I'll see you in a couple of days, okay? " – He turned to look at her giving her a pathetic little smile in an attempt to convince her that hat he was fine.
She complied and with a small hug that took him by surprise but did not reject it, she left. Leaving him alone with his thoughts.
After Hermione left, no one had dared to come to his room and try to find out what Narcissa had said in her letter. Draco appreciated it. He did not want to speak to anyone at that moment. He had so many thoughts and ideas, that a headache set in his temple.
He didn't know how long it had passed until someone had come to drop a tray filled with food for him. He had kept reading the small piece of paper over and over again.
There was no sweetness or care in the words his mother had written, only a command. An order to step up to a role that he had no intention or desired to step up to.
Draco knew he had to decide. In his solitude he had managed to think through the first of the options available for him. If he decided to go back to Malfoy Manor and usurp his father's place within the death-eaters that probably had sought refuge in his childhood home, he would have to see his fate, the same fate he escaped, develop in front of his eyes… again.
He knew too much to even attempt to be indifferent towards the wizards and witches he had met during the time he had been in this new reality. He could attempt to help them, be a spy and sabotage any efforts put from the death eaters or lord Voldemort itself, but that came with risks that he was not sure if was ready to accept.
However, if he used his knowledge to help his friends… he would change everything. He could save Tonks, Ted and so many others more. But for that to help in this situation required for him to disclose the reality of who he was, and how he knew all of the things he knew.
It could mean losing the friendship of people he never knew wanted to be friends with.
But perhaps that was better than risking the possibility of Voldemort winning the war.
Suddenly, Draco knew what the best choice for him was to make. The answer was in front of him all along.
Sacrifice was an act of bravery for those he loved.
Sacrificing himself could mean saving her.
And just like that, with her smile in his thoughts he knew what to do.
New Year's Eve came fast, and he knew he had made a promised to the brunette girl that had been haunting him in his dreams and thoughts. He still did not know what it meant if it was real feelings or just guilt.
Guilt as he had stood in the room of Malfoy manor while she was being tortured by Bellatrix and had not done anything to help or prevent it from happening. Guilt because for most of his life he had been a bystander, a puppet filled with lies and falsities.
But not anymore.
He had changed. It was almost as if it happened overnight.
After he had taken a decision on what to do, his hole demeanor had changed. Andromeda had noticed it but had decided not to say anything, except for "you look good my boy".
As he had promised he spend New Year's Eve with Hermione and her family. The Granger home was warm and cozy. They had a Christmas three in a corner of the living room and the whole room was decorated for the holidays.
He held polite chit-chat with her father, even when he did not understand half of what he had said. For Draco was still amazing and weird that in the muggle world there was people who dedicated their lives to fix other people's teeth.
When the clock reached midnight and everyone cheered for the new year to start, he found himself hugging Hermione more effusively than usual… or than ever. She did not question it and returned the hug, resting her head on his chest. They remained in that position for a couple of seconds, but he wished that could've been longer. But her parents were in the room, and he was not ready to face certain questions regarding his feelings towards Hermione.
The environment was festive, and everyone had insisted on going outside in the attempt to catch the fireworks. Luckily for them, they could see them from the street. It was cold, so Hermione kept herself close to him, linking her arm around his.
People cheered every time a new firework appeared up in the sky, and the children laughed when a recognizable figure appeared. Draco observed his surroundings, paying extra attention on the face of the muggles that surrounded him. His father was wrong. He had always been wrong.
Muggles were not a lesser being. They just had not the luck of knowing that magic existed and that most of them lived among them.
After a while the fireworks stopped, and the people, including Hermione's parents, returned to their homes. Hermione had different plans as in a whisper ask Draco to go on a walk with her.
They began walking, slowly through the streets of Hermione's neighborhood. They walked for a couple of minutes in complete silence, with their arms still intertwined.
Draco did not know what to say but did not feel like he needed to say anything. Their silence felt complacent and filled with intimacy as if in the lack of words, they understood each other. However, at some point either of them had to break the silence. And so did she.
"Are you busy tomorrow?" – She asked to which he responded with a short ´no´- "Meet me here, around 3 pm. I want to show you something" – He just nodded as he felt there was no need for anything else to be said.
They kept walking for a few more minutes and while during their walk, her arm slide down to family just hold his hand, intertwining her fingers with his. He did not complain, and just returned the gesture by holding her fingers. Her hands were soft and couldn't stop himself from caressing her hand with his thumb in a repetitive act.
After a while they returned to her home, where Ted was waiting for him with the car that the family used to move around the muggle world.
And with the promise of tomorrow, he hugged her one last time before going back to Andromeda and Ted's home.
The ride home was silent. He sat in the copilot seat, but immediately closed his eyes. Ted respected his unspoken desired of not being bother with small talk or irrelevant chitchat. He was grateful for it.
The minute they arrived, Draco jumped out of the car and went straight to his room. He took a piece of paper and just wrote "Can I come in two days, Draco.", and with that he sent it to the intended recipient.
The following day, he woke after lunch time. He had trouble falling asleep as different scenarios rushed through his thoughts and imagination. He had decided and had taken the first step towards it. But the doubt was killing him. Was this the best decision he could've made without confiding in anyone?
Soon he would be able to see the consequences of his decision, and once the holidays had passed and he went back to Hogwarts, perhaps could seek for advice from those who knew more about life than him. After all, he was still only 17 regardless of his reality.
As he promised at 3 pm sharp, Draco was standing outside the Granger house one more time. She had been vague as to what she wanted to show him, but he trusted her.
With a smile she came out of her house and grabbed his hand, walking away from the house, without really explaining where they were heading.
They walked around the neighborhood once more, this time heading towards a small forest that surrounded the small community. He felt confused, was what she wanted to show him in the forest?
He asked her where they were heading but no answer came from her. She just continued walking and dragging him along. Draco felt defeated as she controlled the whole situation and did not answer to any of his questions.
He was right, they headed indeed towards the forest. It was of small size but it leaded to a small clear area. She let his hand go and walked even faster than before. She knew the forest as if she had been there multiple times.
" Draco, hurry up" – He heard in the distance. He was walking as fast as he could, without knowing where she was taking him. Usually, he would get flashes of memories from something that they did together in this side of the universe, but not this time. This was a completely new experience for him and for them.
Hermione knew the way clearly; she was a few steps ahead of him. Impatiently waiting for him.
He thought to himself how in just two weeks he had experienced so much with the people he expected the least. Everything that he had missed before he had done now. His previous life began to become a blur and was not sure that he wanted to go back to it anymore. He felt... happy. Sincerely happy.
"What´s so urgent that cannot wait a couple of seconds" – He asked curious. She seemed very annoyed at the speed he was walking towards her.
"If I tell you, it won´t be a surprise. Come on" – She mentioned before that she had found this place the during the summer but that she had not shown it to anyone. She said it was her favorite spot in the world. And she wanted to show him before anyone else. That single sentence made him feel a weird sensation in his stomach and his heart had fluttered unexpectedly.
He managed to catch up. They had been walking in the middle of the forest for the past 20 minutes and he had no idea where they were heading. But he trusted her, he never would've imagined that he would trust Hermione Granger with his life. But also, he could have never predicted that by some sort of magic he would have a different life. One full of love, friendship, and happiness.
They reached a sighting spot that was just a clear, filled with rocks that lead to a small river under it. Hermione was waiting for him on the edge of one the major rocks, with a huge smile on her face. "This is it" – She said making a movement with her arms as if she was exposing the place for the first time for him. – "It has the most beautiful sunsets. I thought you might like watching it with me "– She said, carefully sitting on the edge and softly patting the spot right next to her.
Quietly he approached her and sat by her. He was confused. He had never thought of sitting and watching sunsets, but with her sounded like the greatest idea in the world.
Hermione took the backpack that Draco had been carrying, on her orders, and from it extracted a small blanket and treats for both. "It´s nothing fancy, just some sandwiches and tea. My mom packed strawberries too, she remembered they were your favorites" – It was as if she could read his mind. Or perhaps she had seen his expression when she began taking the food out of the backpack.
The sun had begun descending, and with it a small breeze travelled between them. He looked at the place she had brought him and couldn´t believe how beautiful it was. The ground was covered in new snow, and the trees around them were covered with it. He never felt interested before in nature. But before everything felt gray and lifeless. And now, everything felt colorful and full of things to expect. He heard a soft sigh coming from Hermione and that was all he needed to distract himself and center his attention on his friend. What he saw left him breathless.
The colors of the sunset reflected on her skin, her cheeks were softly tinted pink and did her lips. The white of the snow contrasted with the pink of her skin. Her skin looked radiant and her hair, her unruly hair was flowing beautifully with the soft breeze that came with the sunset. She looked beautiful.
No.
She is beautiful.
Without any warning, for her or for himself, he kissed her on the cheek. Shocked by his actions, quickly returned to his previous position. He could feel her eyes set on him but said nothing. As if she was thinking what to say or what to do.
Slowly she placed her hand on his, trying to get his attention. She succeeded as his eyes were set on her face one more time. She squeezed his hand softly, and that was all it took for him to lean forwards and capture her lips on a delicate kiss.
He was kissing her. He was kissing Hermione Granger. And she was kissing him back. They were kissing.
He felt happy.
He felt as if he was on a cloud. The events of the previous day lingered in his mind and repeated itself over and over, giving him a strange feeling in his chest and stomach.
After they shared a kiss, their first kiss he remained silent, too nervous to say anything. And after the sun had set and the day became dark, they head back to her house while holding hands.
There was no need for words and when they reached her home, a small kiss was shared as a goodbye... or as a I'll see you soon, as in a couple of days they'll return to Hogwarts.
By the time he returned to his aunt's house, a letter was waiting for him with confirmation that he could visit Harry and Sirius.
He was going to tell them the truth.
As he had decided.