Hey yo, author here! Thanks for all the reviews/favs/follows, means the world! Keeping this short and sweet, if anyone got questions, I will try to answer, but I ain't giving away spoilers. Also, if I don't respond to a review, trust me, I've read them all and they mean the world. Don't like posting review responses in here, so will try and send a few messages in response to the next couple. This was the hardest chapter to write so far by a mile. I know where it's going, but getting from A to B is the hard part. Hope ya'll enjoy!

I don't own Teen Titans or any mentioned DC properties, otherwise I would have put more titans back story in the show.

Ch. 10 Disperser

Sometimes, the silence gets so loud, the only thing left to do is hope your heart is strong enough to beat it out. The Herald's words hung in the air, and there was no taking them back. He watched as different people in the room's faces changed at different rates as they processed what he'd said. Más had stopped struggling in Menos' arms and both the twins were now staring at the Herald, stunned. Starfire had shot to her feet when the Herald had said that he'd been with Beast Boy, eyes filled with hope, but that only lasted a split second. If he had to guess, the Herald assumed that she'd intuited that he was only a messenger…meaning Beast Boy wasn't with him…and was intending to be joining them any time soon. To his credit, Kid Flash had stood up quickly as well, clearly making the connection before Starfire did, gently bringing her back down to the couch, where Starfire seemed to shrink in on herself.

Cyborg's head had snapped upwards towards the Herald the second he made it known that he knew what happened in the tower. He had started scanning the room, almost like Beast Boy was about to appear out of thin air, with that same trademark smile with a fang sticking it out, that he was known for. As it became more obvious that the Herald was definitely alone, his entire body sagged. He felt a small hand slip into his large, metal one and looked over at Bee, who was giving him a reassuring look. She leaned over towards his ear.

"Hey, this is good…Beast Boy's been with another Titan…that's already better than the situation was five minutes ago…c'mon Sparky, let's see what he has to say," Bee whispered. Cyborg gave her hand a squeeze, but he seemed on edge. There was something else going on in Cyborg's mind. He'd always been logical thinker, putting together information in a way that no human mind could. The machine half of his mind gave him no other choice and as result, new questions started popping into his mind. How is the Herald so calm? If he'd only just found out, he'd be more rushed than this…he's known for a while…so why he's only coming to us now? Cyborg was usually an understanding individual, but his best friend was missing, and his patience had disappeared with him. He'd give the Herald a chance to speak…but he better approve of what he came out with.

Raven knew how the Herald knew what had happened from the way he spoke and the emotions he was giving off. He was nervous…apprehensive…apologetic. He was about to give bad news and Raven almost wished that he wouldn't speak his mind. She didn't even know what he had to say, but she didn't want to hear it out loud. Either he had seen Beast Boy while he was injured and he wasn't here because he was too injured or on his death bed…or he was okay and was choosing to not come home…and to Raven, both of those sounded like nightmares to her.

She had been full-on interrogating Argent before the Herald showed up. Once Robin had started briefing the Titans they had chosen to help them find Beast Boy, she had felt her spike of nervousness. She was hiding something about the situation and Raven had been intent on prying the information out of the girl, whether she wanted to or not. She subconsciously realised that Argent, who she had been targeting relentlessly for the past few minutes, now had her arm around her shoulder, trying to give any kind of comfort. But Raven didn't have the focus to thank her. She found a spot on the floor and focused on it, mentally preparing for whatever the Herald was about to say.

Robin's attention prior to the Herald's arrival had been entirely focused on the little Guatemalan who had previously been trying to kill him. He wasn't entirely sure what "cerdo desconfiado" meant, but he had guessed it wasn't a compliment. As soon as Robin had finished telling the chosen honorary Titans what had happened and why they needed their help, Más had almost blown a gasket. At least Menos had tried to restrain his brother rather than help him…now that would've been "una problema".

But now, Robin's entire focus was on the Herald. The Herald was an honorary titan that he sent Raven in search of, but had never actually spoken to himself one to one. He was more than aware that he was a member of Beast Boy's rag tag group that ultimately saved not only him, but the Titans as a whole. It was quickly becoming clear to Robin that the bond Beast Boy had forged with the Titans that he had led into battle against the Brotherhood was far deeper than he'd realised.

It was always seemed like Robin kept finding out more and more about his team as time went on, and it was never because they came to him. It took Trigon using Slade to deliver a message to Raven for her to come forward and Starfire had nearly left to get married without barely a word. But Beast Boy seemed to keep getting more and more complex. He didn't realise it, but he was out of his depth when it came to how Beast Boy was acting after the Brotherhood. He didn't try to help him, or even talk to him about it. He'd simply assumed it would go away when things went back to normal. Ot was a naïve way to think. Raven and Cyborg had even expressed concern, with the former going out of her way to help the changeling…and he'd ignored them, because he thought Beast Boy was simply being…Beast Boy. He'd never understood the youngest Titan, and the team was paying for it now.

The Herald had claimed that he had spoken to Beast Boy since last week. That meant, Beast Boy had found a way to communicate with a fellow Titan…and not contacted Robin, or any of the others…and he hated that he knew the reason why, as the thought rang out in his head.

"Why would he trust you…why would he trust any of us right now?"

He silenced that thought. Above everything else Robin was, he was a detective at heart, and he had now had the best lead for finding Beast Boy presented to him on a silver platter, straight out of a rift in space. He glanced around the room, noting how each member of his team was taking the implications of the Herald's words…and that wasn't well. Robin took a seat and a deep breath. This is where he could be a leader. When everyone else was stuck in the moment…he could stick to the facts…because that's what a good detective did.

"We've got plenty of time for a long story."

Beast Boy didn't move through the warehouse with any real stealth or care. Using his heightened hearing and smell, he'd determined that there was no one inside and that this place had been empty for a few days at least. He was starting to focus less and less on sight. It had been a week since he found out his left eye was beyond healing and there was no point in dwelling on that fact.

The start of his investigation hadn't yielded much. It seemed like the warehouse, at one point in time, had been used as some kind of storage facility for chemicals. Huge vats lined the walls, with walk ways in between them and old hazmat suits could be seen hanging on rusted coat hooks. Beast Boy was following a faded scent, but something that stuck out. He was glad that the lights were still functional in the building. He recognised the chemical from a week ago…he would be sure to not be alone in the dark anytime soon.

The scent led him to a grate in the floor, located behind one of the vats. He briefly morphed into a gorilla too lift the massive metal covering, revealing a ladder descending into the darkness.

"Really Slade…this is a bit cliché…even for you."

Beast Boy looked around the edge of the ladder, finding a switch, activating a series of lights that ran the entire way down the length of the ladder, illuminating the darkness. With that, Beast Boy began his descent, slow and methodical, not progressing until he was sure the light remained constant. Once at the bottom, he found himself in a massive, dome-shaped room.

"You could've made the place a bit more presentable..."

This could only have been Slade's base of operations for a period of time. The walls were lined with boxes upon boxes of parts that Beast Boy recognised as pieces of Slade bot's, huge gas canisters were bunched together in groups of nine in the centre of the room and at the far end to Beast Boy, there was a collection of monitors. Beside the monitors was a small, metal crate.

Beast Boy gulped and slowly crossed the room. The cage couldn't have been more than four by four foot. Beast Boy arrived just outside of it and let his fingers graze along the metal, noting the blood on the floor…his blood. This is where'd he'd been when called the Herald in. He was now standing where Slade stood when he addressed him for the first time. He took a little satisfaction in the fact that he called Slade stupid from inside this cage, and he had actually proved his point shortly after.

But Beast Boy wasn't here to reminisce…he was here for answers. He turned his attention to the monitors but was quickly disappointed to find no computers attached. Screens that probably once displayed all the information he needed were now useless to him. However, his eyes were then drawn to the papers beneath the desk on which the monitors were placed. Beast Boy had time…if he could find a lead…he would.

Beast Boy had never been the strongest reader. To be fair to him, he'd never been to school, so much like his knowledge of history, most of his reading knowledge had come from the back of a cereal box, with some comics and battle plans thrown in for good measure. As such, progress was slow on the information side. He had picked up some phrases that sent shivers down his spine…"The Cult of Trigon"…"The Church of Blood". Slade was into something deep…something evil, but not his standard ploys. The style of language used was old, ancient even. It reminded Beast Boy of Raven's prophecy. "The gem was born of evil's fire…"

Beast Boy involuntarily shuddered. He didn't like thinking about anything to with Trigon's invasion. Whatever about the brotherhood, watching Raven become the portal…He snapped his eyes closed, blinking furiously. To distract himself, he shifted his focus to the imagery within the papers

While Beast Boy had never been one for words, his natural sense of direction from his animal instincts was on another level. As such, the maps he found within the messy stacks of paper were invaluable and he'd managed to make the link. Slade's operation wasn't limited to Jump City. There were location's marked on a variety of maps. It looked Slide was going travelling, and based on the locations presented, he was going travelling all over the world. He was…planning to visit worshippers of Trigon…but why? Trigon was gone?

After about an hour, Beast Boy couldn't help but plonk himself down in the large desk chair in front of the monitors. He'd only be able to take so much intel with him, and based on what he'd found…he was going to be travelling for a while. He glanced at the maps in front of him. Russia…Pakistan…Romania…he never knew that there so many different groups still supporting Trigon…let alone that they were all over the world.

But Beast Boy knew he was running out of time. He knew the Herald would give him some time before going to the Titans, but he wasn't taking any chances. He didn't want to test his resolve just yet. If the Titans were to come storming in right now…if he saw them face to face…if he saw Raven…he shook his head, and blinked furiously. No, he wouldn't think like that. He had a lead on Slade and he had the perfect location to start in, eyeing up a particular location circled in red. He wanted to learn to control the Beast…to draw from it…to become one with it…and for that he needed the wild…and fortunately for him, one country that Slade was planning a visit to would be the perfect place for killing two birds with one stone.

Beast Boy threw as many papers as he could into his bag, and began making his way back towards the ladder. He had his first destination in mind. He was in for a long journey…but hey…for a lover of wilderness…was there a more perfect place to start than Alaska.

Raven almost didn't want the Herald to tell them what he knew. He seemed too calm. There was no urgency to his demeanor. Raven had read enough books to know what happens when a character was acting like this. The end result wasn't in question. The Herald wasn't here to tell them about something they could have an impact on…he was here to deliver a result…the conclusion of a plot…something the Titans couldn't change.

Raven watched the Herald take a deep breath…and he began his story, starting from how he had found Beast Boy in a cage designed by Slade, beaten to a pulp and a shock collar around his neck, moving onto how he, Argent and Pantha had worked tirelessly for days to keep him alive. It was here that the interruptions started. Raven could feel all the emotions in the room, like they were swirling in the air, filling every nook and cranny, leaving not a single ounce of space untouched. Originally, all the titans present had wanted to give the Herald the time he needed…but the simplicity of the story being told almost begged for interruption…anything to break the despair the Herald had inadvertently created. Raven decided to take the plunge.

"Herald…what was the extent of Beast Boy's injuries?"

Raven did not need to be an empath to know that the Herald didn't want to answer that question. She took in his face while he tried to compose his thoughts and couldn't help but feel a pang of sympathy for the trumpet player. He was a messenger only, tasked with telling someone's family the story how one of their own nearly died. For a hero who wore a mask, the fact that she could still tell he was exhausted was worrisome in it's own right.

Based on what he'd said so far, it was clear that the three honorary titans had been working around the clock to help Beast Boy. Raven's gaze briefly flickered to Argent. The poor girl looked shook beyond all belief, and a pang of guilt tied itself into a knot in Raven's stomach. Of course Argent had been nervous…she had just spent the whole week keeping Beast Boy alive, only to then be requested by the people who made him like that in the first place.

But Raven could apologize later. Her attention was firmly back on the Herald, who had cleared his throat. "In all honesty, if it wasn't for his unique genetics…he wouldn't have survived. Multiple broken bones, blood loss, a punctured lung…the list goes on really…but his accelerated healing saved him."

Every titan in the room grimaced, except Raven, who knew the Herald wasn't finished. She continued to look expectantly at him, a look that the Herald was able to weather for only a few seconds before his shoulders slumped in defeat. "…the only thing that didn't heal was his left eye…we couldn't save it, it didn't heal like the rest of his body and well…he wouldn't go see anyone else."

Raven felt like her heart had dropped out of her chest, onto the floor. Beast By was most likely scarred for life...because of them…because she hadn't acted quick enough. But she didn't have to much time to dwell on it, because Starfire had just asked the next most pressing question.

"Friend Herald…where is Beast Boy now?"

Raven looked up at the Herald, hoping against all the facts that had been presented so far that the Herald would provide some good news. Just once, they could buck the stereotype that heroes don't get happy endings. But it was not to be. The Herald's despair reached her before his face had even changed expression.

Before the Herald could answer, Cyborg had vaulted up from his seat, startling the winged titan who had been consoling him only seconds prior. "How come you're only telling us all of this now?! We've been searching for Beast Boy non-stop since the incident happened, and then you waltz in and say he's been with you the whole time!? WHY DIDN'T YOU COME TO US SOONER?!"

By the end of his speech, Cyborg had descended into fully screaming at the poor honorary titan.

"…It wasn't like that".

Raven turned left to face Argent, who was staring at her own hands, rubbing her thumb across her palm in small circles. She looked like she was on the verge of tears, and Raven noted, like the Herald, she looked absolutely drained. "When the Herald rescued him from Slade's imprisonment…we didn't even know if he would survive the night…and we didn't know what had happened…we aren't supposed to be Beast Boy's first port of call…you are…so we assumed there was a reason he contacted Herald specifically."

Argent hadn't looked up the entire time she spoke. Cyborg was still furious, despite Bee's best efforts to calm him down. But Raven could sense something. Argent was apprehensive, there was something coming...a part of the story that hadn't been told, and for the first time since the Herald arrived, she was scared to hear what came next.

Cyborg had no such reservations. "Okay, so you healed him up, great, but you said he was fine now, that his enhanced healing had saved him, right?...So where is he, huh!?"

"Cyborg, that's enough!"

Cyborg's head whipped around to Robin, a look of fury still across his face, but Robin wasn't phased for a second. "She helped save Beast Boy's life and her reasoning for why they didn't tell us while he was hurt stands to reason, so let's hear there reasoning for why they're only telling us now first, before pointing fingers!"

"I don't care if they have the best reasoning in the world! One of our own was MIA, and you expect me to be okay with the fact that they knew for a whole week! NO…I'm not having that, there isn't a single reason why they – ".

"When Beast Boy woke up…he asked us not to contact you".

And there it was…the truth that Raven had sensed coming…the one thing Argent couldn't have brought herself to say, so the Herald had taken the option from her. Cyborg's mouth opened again but no sound came out. The Herald took this as his cue to finish his story,

"I tried to convince him that he was making the wrong decision…I really did…that he was making an irrational decision in the aftermath…but he's convinced that he needs to tame his beast, and that while he doesn't have it under control…you'll never trust him."

Raven didn't even note Cyborg's reaction, or anyone else's for that matter. While he hadn't said it outright, the message was loud and clear. The Titans had driven Beast Boy away. All their time as a team, having each other's backs, through thick and thin, through the literal end of the world…and it was gone.

"So…where did he go?"

The Herald turned to Starfire, who looked like she was on the verge of tears. There was no fire in her eyes, and she knew that if she tried to fly right now, there was no chance she would get off the ground.

"He went to investigate where Slade had him imprisoned…and from there…I don't know…he said that the beast was a creature of the wild, and that learning to master it couldn't happen in a city or a training sim…he needed to go somewhere….well, wild."

No one had anything to say that, but the return of silence didn't bring comfort. It brought confirmation…finality…the truth was in the air, and nothing was changing it. Robin cleared his throat, but it was clear to all that he was doing his best to keep it together. "Is there any other information you have?"

The Herald shook his head. "I can give you the location of where Slade was hiding…it should be a good place for leads. Beast Boy was convinced that Slade has a secondary motive, maybe you'll find evidence of it there, and maybe a clue to where Beast Boy's gone. Besides from that…I just hope Beast Boy comes to his senses and returns soon…but I'd never seen him so…steadfast…he'd convinced himself that he had to do this…I just don't know for who's sake he thinks he's doing it for."

"…Thank you Herald for coming forward…and for all you've done in the past few days…when we weren't there."

"No problem…I think Argent and I are gonna head home…it's been a long few days."

Argent nodded at the Herald's sentiment and gave Raven a final reassuring squeeze on the shoulder before walking over to the Herald, who had already opened a rift. He turned back to the assembled group one more time. "He doesn't hate you…the guys just been through a lot…Beast Boy doesn't realize it yet, but he has a pack mentality…he needs a fami-".

Raven stood from her spot on the couch. "Humans by nature are pack animals…we take comfort in those around us…and value our worth by how many others deem us important…we struggle to fit in…to be like to others."

Everyone turned to Raven as she muttered the words. "That's the problem with having a pack mentality…if you don't feel like your valued or trusted…you leave."

Starfire went to call her name, but Raven was gone, having opened up one of her portals and disappearing from the room. The Herald stared at where Raven had stood before turning back to his portal, him and Argent stepping inside without another word. Shortly afterwards, Kid Flash and Más y Menos, realizing their services were no longer required, slipped away quietly, leaving Robin, Starfire, Cyborg and Bumblebee in main ops to process everything that had just happened.

For all intents and purposes, the Herald just dropped a bomb on the residents of Titans Tower, and so often was the case with such occurrences, he would never be able to appreciate the full effect his news had on people. When a bomb is dropped, it isn't the engineer, or the pilot who feels the results…it's the people on the ground…at the epicenter…and right now, every body in the tower was feeling the shockwaves.

Raven reappeared in her room and immediately assumed the lotus position on her bed. The Herald had said that Beast Boy had been unconscious for five days, so no wonder her attempts to connect with Beast Boy's mind had been failing. But now, she had confirmation that he was conscious and his mind was active. She still had no idea if her relationship or connection with Beast Boy was strong enough for this to work, but she had to try.

Raven pulled her hood up over head and quietly began chanting her mantra, feeling herself lift of off the bed as she did so. She allowed her mind to wander. For this to work, she had think of what connected the two of them. When had they been at their most compatible…at their closest. Memories flitted through her mind, like a projector, displaying moments she held most dear onto the canvas of her mind. She began hearing voices speaking, "For good luck", "You think you're alone Raven, but you're not", "Thanks Raven…for pulling me back".

She continued to focus. Raven had felt this feeling before as she got closer to establishing a connection. But then, something new occurred. She began seeing images she had never seen before. She took this as a good sign. When she had connected to Robin's mind, she had seen snippets of a past that he'd never told them about…a trapeze act, an oath being sworn…things she'd never tell another soul.

Images flashed before across her mind rapidly with no rhyme or reason. One second, there was boat approaching a waterfall, which was quickly replaced by an empty hospital bed with restraints, a row of needles sat on a table beside it. After that, she found herself in a fun house, surrounded by mirrors.

And then as suddenly as the images were coming they stopped. She was still in her trance, but she hadn't gotten this far before. Raven gently reached out with her powers, delicately probing for the thoughts of another. For the first time…she sensed him. His emotions were hidden, like blanket had been placed over his thoughts and feelings. Raven calmed herself and took the first step, sending out a single thought to who she thought she was connected with.

"Beast Boy?"

The effect was instantaneous. What little she sensed was immediately hidden further away, like a barricade has been erected between her and his mind, to the extent that she felt like she had been physically forced backwards. She couldn't see where he was. She would need his permission for that, like how she had looked through Robin's eyes before. But he was here. There as no time to celebrate though.

"Beast Boy, please…I know you can hear me…I…I...I'm not even entirely sure what to say. Just…please…come home…you don't have to do this alone…let us be there for you…please"

Raven held her breath. For the first time, she was able to get a read on his emotional state and it terrified her. He was angry, but not at her or any of the other titans, but at himself. He was scared and felt alone, but the she also felt what the Herald had meant. He was determined…steadfast in his belief that he was doing what was right. She didn't have time to process anything else though, as she felt Beast Boy withdraw from her reach.

Raven suddenly felt like she was moving backwards at one hundred miles in hour before her eyes snapped open and she fell back to her bed in her room. She took a second to realize what had happened before assuming the lotus position and trying again, but she found no more success. Each time she began to try and make the connection, she felt like she was being forcibly pushed back. Beast Boy had heard her and he'd made his choice.

Raven hadn't even adjusted how she had landed on the bed. The Titans could try and find Beast Boy obviously, try and convince him to come home…but Raven had just had direct contact, and he'd essentially said no. For the time being, even if they found him, bringing him home would be against his will. He was really gone…the light heart of the Titans, who had never backed down from something in his way, had finally reached his breaking point.

"It's pointless to be upset about Beast Boy. People come…people go."

Raven repeated the line over and over in her head, like her mantra had just been replaced with the newest model. She had once said it with such conviction about Cyborg, to the point she had believed it herself until her powers gave away her subconscious emotional state. But now, even she knew she was lying to herself. That didn't matter. If he didn't want to come home, fine, she wouldn't waste any more time looking for him. Raven readjusted her position on the bed, picking up her book from her night stand. Raven was practical. She wouldn't waste her time trying to find someone who didn't want to be found.

So she opened her book and read. She tore through the pages, blitzing through pages like she was in a time trial. When she finished her book, she got up from her bed, and browsed her shelf, looking for anything she hadn't read before, before settling down with another title, another work of fiction for her to disappear into. She ignored the knocks at her door and the dropping of her eyes. She was too focused on the world the author had crafted.

In the book, a father and son were trying to survive in a world after the apocalypse, a world that she thought the author was being incredibly optimistic about. "A father and son wouldn't survive on their own…they'd be snuffed out". The father kept saying that him and his son were "carrying the fire." Raven, usually one for finding the meaning in a metaphor, found herself oddly sick with, what she thought, was the man's optimistic view. She didn't quite know when exactly she fell asleep, or when exactly she stopped reading, but despite how simple the book's concept was in theory, her last thought was thinking the author was naïve.

Raven awoke to a banging at her door, but it was certainly not the polite sound of someone trying to get her attention. She sat herself upright in her bed, only to see her door was currently being dented from the outside. It was only then she heard the voice on the other side.

"RAVEN, I KNOW YOU ARE INSIDE! IF YOU DON'T COME OUT THEN I WILL BE BARGING IN!"

Raven scooted herself off her bed, and quickly put on her cloak and boots, wanting to look put together when she answered the door. She then put her hood up and moved swiftly to the door, and opened it a crack to peer out at Starfire on the other side.

"What?"

Raven wished she had been slightly less aggressive when she answered, because it was only after her initial response did she take in Starfire's appearance. Her hair was mess and her eyes were red and puffy. Her feet were planted firmly on the ground and most striking, she wasn't in her usual ensemble, but in a pair of oversized pajama bottoms and a fluffy jumper, her feet bare on the Tower floor.

Starfire, locked eyes with Raven, and it only took the enchantress a second to realize she had somehow majorly screwed up,

"What….WHAT!?…That's all you have to say!? You vanish from our meeting with the Herald, where we all received the most devastating of news, you disappear into your room for over a day, with all of us worried about you and then you poke your head out like it's not a large transaction!?"

Raven figured now wasn't the time to tell Starfire that the phrase was a "big deal". She also hadn't realized that she had been in her room for that long. But she calmed herself, found her centre, and stared back at Starfire. "I am sorry for worrying you. However, I am fine, as you can see. Now, if you'll excuse me."

Raven went to close the door, but Starfire latched her fingers around it, and with a grunt, pulled the sliding door into the wall with a massive crack, as the door came off it's hinges, causing Raven to jump back in a slight bit of fear.

"No, I will NOT excuse you! Everyone in this tower is acting like Clorbags! Friend Robin has locked himself in his office, obsessing over how to approach Deathstroke's base, Cyborg has already done the driving of me and Bee away, and you…you simply locked yourself away, without even giving a reason! I know that Beast Boy's absence is awful, but I will not have the Rekma occur because of this! Garfield…he wouldn't want his!"

Raven stared at the Tamaranean for a few seconds, wide-eyed, before putting on a brave face. She was glad when her voice came out perfectly monotone. "This has nothing to do with Beast Boy. People come, people go. It's pointless to get upset about –."

"That is a lie and you are aware of it!", screamed Starfire, once again startling Raven. Starfire took in the form of the empath and her expression changed. "Something happened…didn't it?", she asked softly. Raven was furious at herself, because she couldn't bring herself to meet Starfire's eyes.

"…I was able to reach out to him mentally through a connection I forged…and he shut me out."

Raven still hadn't looked up at the Tamaranean but wasn't shocked when she felt the taller girls arms wrap around her smaller frame. It took her a second, but the empath slowly returned the hug.

"…it's okay for it to hurt friend Raven…for you more than others…I understand."

"What are you talking about Starfire?"

Starfire put Raven at arm's length and gave her a sympathetic smile. "I am not as oblivious as some of you have been led to believe. Tamaraneans have to be in touch with our emotions…you care about Beast Boy…potentially as more than a friend…"

Raven went to open her mouth, and felt sick as she couldn't find any words. Starfire pulled her back into a hug. "Do not worry…you were not obvious…I am just good at picking up on such things. Even if he doesn't want to be found now, that doesn't mean this can't be fixed. He needs time, and while we will try to find him…you can't lose hope Raven…it is what keeps us going. Friend Beast Boy once told me to ignore the past, as we are both here, currently, in the now. We decide the future we want…there is no point on dwelling what has been done."

Raven looked up at the much taller titan. Before Trigon, Raven would have sent the Tamaranean packing. This was too much emotion and not necessary. But Raven has been learning to feel…to feel affection for others…to feel love from others…and she realized quickly that she'd been a bad friend.

"You're right Star…you know it's hard for me to express…you've literally been me…we're all going through this and to get through it…we need to stick together…I'm done with being alone...I'm sorry".

Starfire smiled at the empath. "I am glad to hear it from you. It is nice to know I have managed to convince one of the Titans to do the coming of around."

Raven shot Starfire a reserved smile, before her mind picked up on some earlier comments she'd made. "How are Cyborg and Robin?"

Starfire's smile dropped quickly. "Robin is doing the obsessing…I think he is just trying to stay busy so as to take his mind off of the Herald's information, but he said some most horrible things… Cyborg won't talk to anyone…both me and Bumblebee tried to talk to him, but much like with Herald…he was very angry."

Raven looked pensive for a moment, before looking back at Starfire, "Starfire…go back to Robin…I feel like him having some time to think will have made him change his thought process. I'll go speak to Cyborg…and knock some sense into him…where is he now?"

"Cyborg is sitting on the rocks outside the tower…I believe it is a spot where Beast Boy used to frequent when he wished to be alone?"

Raven nodded and stepped past Starfire and into the hallway. She was originally going to walk on without looking back when Starfire called to her. "Raven…why do you think Robin will be more receptive to me this time?"

Raven turned to the alien and shot her a small smile. "I also have to be in touch with my emotions…and you two are most certainly obvious…go to him…he needs you."

Raven turned, leaving a Tamaranean with a blush as red as her hair in her wake.

Beast Boy had nearly fallen out of the sky when Raven's voice entered his mind. The flight from California to Alaska was not a short distance, well over two thousand miles, no matter which route he took. Beast Boy had never really spent much time researching his animal forms. He was relatively intuitive when it came to what he needed to shift into. But for the sake of having a some forms prepped, he knew a few specifically for their key stats. Biggest land animal, most powerful strike, fastest speed, both in land or on water and in this case, the bird with the longest continuous ability to fly without stopping. As such, Beast Boy, in the form of a bar-tailed godwit, had been flying over the open ocean towards Juneau, Alaska, when he felt a presence enter his mind.

He'd felt it instantly, mainly because when you're flying thousands of miles, and only going about fifty-five miles an hour, it's amazing how quickly you can zone out. At first, he thought he'd imagined it, looking around himself quickly, as if there would be a door nearby that someone was knocking on, even though he was miles off shore and hundreds of feet in the air. So he dismissed it, but he still felt something. It was a presence…familiar…safe…but he couldn't put his finger on it. He didn't know what it was, but he also didn't want it to go away. It was the best he'd felt in days…and then he heard his name…in her voice.

The shock had caused Beast Boy to briefly switch back to his human form, where he immediately began to plummet from the sky. It took him a few seconds to compose himself and change back, resuming his flight path. Then, her voice came through again, clearer and more pronounced than the last time, asking him to come home. This was why he didn't want to face the Titans, especially Raven. Despite what the Herald thought, Beast Boy knew exactly what he was leaving behind and who he was leaving behind.

He had come to terms with it over the last few days and he was man enough to admit it. Since the fall of the brotherhood, he and the empath had grown close, and he had been wondering if she would ever be able to see him as more than a friend. Even before everything happened, he had been thinking about the concept of him and Raven. But with the incident with Malchior and then the tower…he knew it wasn't possible…not while he wasn't in control. Part of him could see the irony in the situation…growing up, Raven had always been one struggling for control and he was the carefree jokester of the Titans. Now, when he possibly wanted more…it was him struggling to not lose himself, and it was his belief that Titans didn't trust him for his lack of control.

But there was no denying it…something about Raven captivated him. He wasn't quite sure when his obsession with making her smile turned into his desire to see her happy, or when his very obvious desire to be friends turned into more, but whatever the case, he absolutely could not have her in his head right now.

So Beast Boy shut her out. It was a trick Mento had taught him during his days with the Doom Patrol for dealing with telepaths and psychics. If he responded…if he talked to her…he'd cave, and he couldn't do that. So he forced her from his mind. The next few minutes were a living hell, feeling her desperately trying to contact him again, with him erecting the mental wall every time. After the fourth time, he'd started thinking "I'm sorry" to himself. He didn't even know if Raven was hearing that or not, but it was all he could do to cope with the onslaught.

And then, as suddenly as the intrusions started, they stopped and she was gone. Beast Boy thought he would be grateful for the peace, but the silence that followed was the loudest noise he had ever heard. He flew onwards, for hundreds of miles, thinking about how he'd just turned away his closest friend…someone he saw as potentially something more…and he'd been too much of a coward too even say a word.

"This the way it has to be"

For the first time since Beast Boy had left Argent's apartment, he wasn't one hundred sure he was doing the right thing. But he pushed on, flying over the Pacific ocean to his goal, pushing himself faster than the form he was in should have been able to go. After many hours, spent pretty much only thinking about the choice he'd made and the events that had led him there, he arrived in Alaska. However, he didn't stop in the city of Juneau. Instead he flew straight over, searching for the nearest forest he could find. He landed in the middle of a clearing, in Tongass National forest.

Following up on Slade would have to wait. Attempting to master the beast would have to come first. Because with all time to think while flying, Beast Boy had driven himself to the point of breaking. When he touched the ground, Beast Boy resumed his human form for only a second before falling to his knees, clutching his head. The surrounding wildlife became silent, the area becoming still, as a new apex predator came alive. In a flash, the creature in the clearing was gone, the howl of the Beast echoing out into the night.