Just like the movie but worse. The movie? What movie? You wonder? Go back to 2003 and watch it! In the role of Lindsay Lohan: Geralt of Rivia. In the role of Lindsay Lohan's mother: Jaskier In the role of Geralt of Rivia: Jaskier. In the role of Jaskier: Geralt of Rivia. 2 Parts. No quality content, just silliness. PS: Yes, I realize the formatting is weird, not sure how to fix it.

Anna of Kovir, witcher of the School of the Griffin, just wants to sleep. Nilfgaardian soldiers at the checkpoint refuse to let her through to the next town and the inn therein and they're particularly obstinate about it. When she overhears whispers of a monster in the woods causing the disappearance of patrols, she thinks she's had a stroke of luck. How wrong she was.

Geralt's love life has always been a mess. Bouncing from sorceress to sorceress, he always ends up alone after being used in their schemes and discarded. Jaded from so many failures, he fights only for his daughter, but a mortal injury during the Battle of Kaer Morhen leaves him in the care of yet another sorceress, stuck in a foreign world where modesty has a different meaning.

This is a collection of missing scenes I couldn't fit into my main fic, so there will be explicit content in every chapter. A small author note at the beginning will give context to the scene.

Sent out to gather the knowledge of the real world. A young scholar from the University of Oxenfurt finds a wounded Witcher on the steps to the inn where he was staying. So he starts gathering the material for his journals. Rated T for language I will be publishing this story on Royal Road /profile/349358

Triss Yen plan revenge on Geralt for trying to double time them, but will it go as planned? My first story, expect EPIC surprises! Will love win out over hate? Will life win over death? Will forgiveness win over resentment? Or maybe something worse than death will prevail?- loneliness- The Witcher's Way. Starts during the "It Takes Three to Tango" quest. Not a 3some. (Discontinued)

You know, Lucifer used to be Gods favorite angel... Those were the days. He waged a war then got banished to rule Hell. Now, pull up a chair and let me tell you the story how the Devil and a princess fell in love with each other.

[COMPLETE] TRISS/LAMBERT. Triss and Lambert finally get "married" with the help of an old friend.

[COMPLETE] TRISS/LAMBERT. Time is different for those who live for centuries or better yet forever. Communication is key, and a magical parchment is the answer for Lambert and Triss needing to stay connected while Lambert is on The Path.

[COMPLETE] TRISS/LAMBERT. Lambert shows Triss just how much he enjoys her hands grasping his hair.

[COMPLETE] TRISS/LAMBERT. Lambert is reminded how much he enjoys Triss's mouth.

[COMPLETE] TRISS/LAMBERT. Triss recalls when she and Lambert helped a small town with their monster problem, and their discussion about having children in the future.

[COMPLETE] TRISS/LAMBERT. Triss and Lambert discuss their future together, and what it means for commitments they've made.

Set during the days of The Witcher 3: Wild Hunt, a Witcher from another school entirely is set to fight his own nightmares. The days of running were gone, his past reawaken from the appearance of the Wild Hunt. Familiar lands and familiar faces re-emerge to ease the burden he placed on the Witcher's name. No matter who or what interfere his journey, the demons shall see bloodshed.

Geralt sets out on the Path for the first time, but being on his own is not as easy as he imagined, nor as rewarding. This is the story of his first monster contract and of Roach - first of her name :)

Eskel chce od losu tylko świętego spokoju, ale duchy i demony chadzają własnymi ścieżkami i wciąż zastępują mu drogę. Wydaje mu się, że jest za stary i zbyt cyniczny, by wierzyć w klechdy, ale w równonoc wszystko może się zdarzyć. W końcu od baśni do snu, a od snu do jawy nie jest wcale aż tak daleko. Sequel do "Grzebania wiosny"

This collection of short stories explores the concept of a female witcher, Corrie. Each book is essentially a quest broken up into chapters, ie adventures starting with the first quest, The Beast That Howl, and as the stories continue we will see her journey get darker and heavier.

Throughout her journey around Velen, Ciri meets a certain someone that is quite different from the rest, in the search for this person's remaining family, something spurs between the two that turns Ciri's world upside down for good, and gives her another reason to return to Kaer Morhen. Rated M for Blood, Language and Sexual Scenes. OC X CIRI

When a failed hunt leaves him on the mercy of two women, of whom one has a sense of duty and the other one has a secret, Eskel wants to leave as soon as he can. After all, misfortune follows the path of every witcher and the fate can be tempted far too easily.

Yennefer asks Geralt to help her find a djinn on an old broken ship on Skellige Isles. After all these years, she wishes to finally know for sure whether their love was real. Meanwhile, The Wild Hunt is hot on Ciri's trail, and their world is in danger. Based on books and games lore with our additions. Feedback HIGHLY appreciated.

Letho is in need of help and so he more or less swoops into Dandelion and Zoltan's cabaret with a kid hanging from his arm. The bard and the dwarf aren't enough though, as the Viper needs the whole group at raising a witcher child he found. Surrounded by various adults, with Letho by her side, the girl has the opportunity to make her own Path despite of the witcher heritage.

A few years have passed since the end of Blood and Wine. Geralt and Yennefer are married, and run a succesful wine business from their vineyard in Toussaint. Ciri is the new heiress to the Nilfgaardian Empire, who have taken control of Novigrad, but who's war against the North rages on. One day, Geralt receives a mysterious letter from his friend Eskel. What could he want?

[Drabble Collection] The adventures of Geralt, based on all the stupid things the writer has done while playing Witcher 3: Wild Hunt.

Geralt and Dandelion stumble across a truly interesting specimen of the female variety. She's beautiful, she plays the lute, and she throws a mean left hook. Dandelion notices that the lady luthier has captivated the attentions of one brooding witcher, which makes him all the more interested in making a play for her. And this time, he can afford to wait.

Luna thought she'd be able to watch her favorite show and relax after work, until an entity shows up in her home to kidnap her. Deep in the North, at Kaer Morhen follow Luna as she tries to make her new home feel like home. Even if her favorites Witcher’s are her mates! (OFC/Lambert, Eskel, Geralt)