SEARCH FOR A SOUL
Author's Notes: This is a series of one shots exploring different themes and ideas from The Little Mermaid. Warning, I am exploring the Hans Christian Anderson version….not the Disney version. There is nothing Disney about these one shots. Do not expect Disney endings. A certain familiarity with the HCA story will help you catch on to themes and background references, however it is not vital in understanding the overall stories.
Next, in each story's universe, there is very little compliance with Twilight-canon. Don't expect the vamps, etc, to follow Meyer's 'rules'. Ready? This will be fun. :)
Version 1: Modern Day Forks
"I would give gladly all the hundreds of years that I have to live, to be a human being only for one day, and to have the hope of knowing the happiness of that glorious world above the stars."
The Little Mermaid,
Hans Christian Anderson
~.~.~.~.
The first time she saw Edward, he was lying in a hospital bed. Monitors beeped near his head and the pallor of his face imitated the hue of the bleached pillowcase under his auburn head. His chest rose and fell in a steady rhythm beneath the standard hospital blanket and yet no other movement interrupted his slumber.
"I don't know what to do with him, Dr. Gerandy." Her father's voice interrupted the predictable pattern of the heart rate monitor with his gruff cadence. By the tone of his voice, she knew he was furrowing his brows and frowning.
"You said he was found on the edge of the forest by the edge of town?" Dr. Gerandy asked patiently.
"Yeah. Totally unconscious and buck skin bare."
"That explains the hypothermia."
"Any other injuries that you can tell?" Charlie asked.
"Nothing. He is underweight, but not abnormally so for a boy his age. There's not sign of drugs or alcohol in his system."
Charlie snorted. "I shouldn't be disappointed by that, but it rules out another theory."
"The best I can tell, something caused him to lose consciousness and then the elements only made it worse. It's a good thing he was discovered when he was or he'd be ripe for an autopsy."
"Thank heaven for small mercies. Doesn't make my job any easier."
"Was there anything else you found with him?"
"Nothing. No sign of clothes or ID. Not even a discarded boot. There was nothing. Not even signs of a struggle or car tracks. I have no evidence someone dumped him there. There were some footprints nearby that matched his but they ended at the trunk of a tree. For all I can tell, he might as well be a squirrel."
"He doesn't match any missing person reports?"
"Notta one. Notta goddamn one. I've had my men searching every database we have access to, but so far, nothing. We'll keep looking, of course. You think he'll wake up in the next few hours and be right as rain?" At the doctor's affirming answer, Charlie continued. "Let's hope he has more answers for us when he wakes and we can find where he belongs."
It wasn't unusual for Bella to tag along with Charlie on some of his calls. The life of the chief of police meant long hours and even longer days. She knew Charlie felt guilty when he was so busy and he liked to have her nearby when he could manage it. Sometimes she did her homework at the police station or stopped in to bring him dinner on a long night. Other times, she tagged along to some of the more mundane visits – like this one.
It worked out, after all. She was ready to have her cast off her wrist and the nurse easily took care of the discarded cast while Charlie talked with Dr. Gerandy.
"How does it feel, dear?" Nurse Hawthorne asked in her kindly, homely way. She flashed a smile that rounded her reddened cheeks and she rubbed slight circles across her free appendage. Bella gave as convincing a smile as she could manage and flexed her fingers.
"Fine."
At the skeptical expression on Nurse Hawthorne's face, Bella only shrugged. "A little sore, I guess, but that's to be expected."
"And your head?"
"All better now… and, before you ask, the bruises have nearly healed. They are only a splotchy purple now instead of rainbow colors," Bella added, slightly ruefully and without meeting the nurse's eye.
The nurse clucked her tongue and reached over to squeeze her shoulder, forcing Bella to make eye contact. "You are lucky to be alive. Why, when I saw the newspaper photos of that car crash, I couldn't believe you walked away from it with nothing worse than a concussion and a broken wrist. Your guardian angel must have been working overtime that night."
"I know," Bella said, forcefully swallowing down the swell of emotions that threatened to overwhelm her.
"Alright, dearie, let me send in the doctor to check you over one more time and then we'll discuss your exercises for your wrist."
"Thank you," Bella managed to force out.
She knew the nurse meant well. Nurse Hawthorne had tended her illnesses and injuries as long as she could remember. Still, Bella felt uncomfortable admitting how close to death she had come… or how inexplicable her survival was – especially to herself.
Charlie had been even worse. He'd been clucking over her like a mother hen ever since she was released from the hospital that night.
"I knew that camping trip was a bad idea. I just knew it. It was too cold… too icy… that Newton boy can't be trusted to drive… not with so many of you in the car…"
"Dad, it was a deer. There's not a lot that can be done about a deer," she protested weakly. She bit her bottom lip and sighed. She knew he was partly right. Mike had been distracted just at that unfortunate moment… and it had been so dark.
Charlie gruffly scowled, his anger masking his fermented fears. "I'm only glad you got out before that gas tank exploded. Jake said when he found you, you were nearly a quarter mile from the wreck and totally unconscious. I don't understand it."
She shrugged and reached over to run her finger along the cast on her wrist.
She didn't understand it either.
Somewhere, niggling beneath her conscious memories, there were images, impressions, nearly dream-like in their hazy quality. There had been a voice. She knew there had been a voice. It was not a voice she had ever heard before and she was not even sure it spoke out loud and yet it filled her mind like a moss filled the forest and spoke to her all the same. The voice had reassured her, had filled her with a sense of safety, had made her feel cherished. Then, she felt as if she were carried. It was at this point, she lost all further memories.
Had it been a "guardian angel" or a figment of her addled brain? She didn't know.
All she knew is she woke, a quarter mile from the wreck, carefully coddled in Jake's frantic arms. His motorcycle helmet was cast at his feet and his voice was chilled with fear.
"It's gonna be alright, Bella, the paramedics are coming," he said, over and over again, as if it was a mantra. As if to convince himself and not her.
She was ok, which was more than could be said for Mike Newton's charred out SUV… or the even more unfortunate deer. The rest of the teenage occupants of the vehicle were cut and bruised. Angela broke her right arm and Mike needed fifteen stitched on his forehead, but they were ok.
"Lucky to be alive," was what the adults all hissed and prayed and exhorted, whenever the accident was discussed.
It was a heady thought. Coming face-to-face with one's mortality made a girl think and Bella's following sleepless nights were torn between memories of the past and wranglings with her future and the ever-present question.
Why was she alive?
Nurse Hawthorne could tell her how to regain strength in her wrist but she could not explain the harder question of what to do with that strength once it was hers again.
Bella sighed and swung her backpack over one shoulder. In her other hand, she carried the print out list of exercises for her wrist. Seeing Charlie talking on the phone, she meandered to a vending machine to buy a bag of potato chips. Then, she settled in the alcove of a hall window to wait for him to finish. One by one, she ate her chips and watched the gentle drizzle from the grey sky beyond. Another ambulance sat outside, the paramedics busily going over a checklist on a clipboard.
"Chief Swan?"
Charlie's head swung around at the sound of Dr. Gerandy's voice and he told the person on the other line to wait.
"He's awake," the doctor said.
"I'll be right there."
Oooooo
"Notta goddamn word!" Charlie shouted into his phone in frustration. He slammed the door of the cruiser shut and growled to himself. "We went through all that and the kid doesn't say a word! He just gawks at us like a deer in headlights, as if he doesn't understand a word of it! Then, he opens his mouth, and gurgles. I kid you not. He gurgles! I am not sure if he has some other injury we haven't discovered which has given him a case of amnesia…. Yeah, I thoughta that Jones. Maybe he's from some kinda mental institution or something. It would explain a lot…. You gonna get some of the boys to call around?... Yeah…. Ok…. No. That's the thing. The doc says he can hold onto him till morning, but then we gotta figure out somewhere else to keep him…. Yeah. Thanks, Jones. I'll be in first thing tomorrow."
Charlie threw the phone down and started up the cruiser. It choked once before rearing to life and then Charlie drove the familiar road back home. Bella didn't speak. She could tell Charlie was still mulling and musing and she didn't want to interrupt him. Instead, she watched as the familiar sights flew past her window.
The grocery store. The sporting goods store. A coffee kiosk. A totem pole. A motel with a flashing "vacancy" sign. An empty laundromat. A field with shaggy horses grazing near the ring of spruce trees.
All the familiar sights of her home. It wasn't much, but it was hers, and she loved it.
They pulled off the main road and into their quiet driveway near the outskirts of the little town. She opened the door and was immersed in the scents of home – cinnamon candles, her crockpot chicken, ready to eat, and that constant damp earth smell that she couldn't shake from here till past the Puget Sound.
Quickly and silently, she dished up dinner while Charlie turned on the baseball game. It wasn't until nearly bed time when her dad roused himself enough to interact with the world around himself again. It was only when his mind was fuller than his coffee cup that he fell into himself like this and she knew something was weighing on his mind more than usual. Just as she was making her way up to her room, he called for her.
"Bella… do you think… would you mind…," he began uncertainly. At her questioning glance, he ran a hand over his mustache and sighed. "It's this kid they've found. I've got a place for him to stay through Friday, just in case, but if I don't have another place for him…"
"That's fine, dad," Bella interjected. "He can stay here. We can look after him."
Charlie shook his head. "There is no 'we' in this. I won't have a strange man staying in my house with my daughter." Bella opened her mouth to protest and before she could, he raised his hand to quiet her. "No arguments. What I meant to ask is if you thought you could stay with a friend this weekend, if it comes to it."
The pause lingered between them like slowly drying concrete. Finally, Bella dropped her eyes and nodded.
"I don't mean to inconvenience you, it's just, well, I've been a cop too long to take any chances."
"I understand," she said.
"Good."
Oooooo
Bella lay on the floor of Angela's bedroom, her calculator and math book open in front of her and her pen in her mouth. She mindlessly nibbled on the end and ran over the equation she had just read three times already, the numbers jumbling in her mind like soggy Fruit Loops.
"I don't understand," Jessica quipped. She was sprawled across Angela's bed, her ankles crossed behind her and her literature book forgotten next to her. "How does a naked kid show up in Forks?"
"He has to be a lost tourist," Angela surmised. She didn't look up from her notebook and her pencil eagerly scratched words across line after line before her. "You know we get those crazy tourists all the time who decide it's a good idea to hike to the Blue Glaciers without gear or swim First Beach in the middle of winter. He's probably one of those and he just happened to get a bump on the head that's given him amnesia."
"But those crazy tourists usually have some means of transportation… or a place they are staying… or a phone or something. He's got nothing."
"Maybe he got jumped and robbed."
"And they stole his clothes?"
"Sure. I've heard crime is up around here. Maybe he got involved with the wrong people."
"There's other things that are weird," Bella added in. She momentarily surrendered her fight to focus on math and threw her pen down on her book. Calculus held no competition to the mystery plaguing her mind and after nearly a week in Forks, there were more questions around the stranger than there were answers. "Charlie said he doesn't act normal…"
"So, he has some mental issues?"
"Not like that, at least, the doctor didn't seem to think there were any obvious signs of mental issues, other than the amnesia, but that's just it. His amnesia is so strong, it's as if he's forgotten everything. At the first place he stayed, he cried out in fear when they turned on the shower for him and he tried to eat the down pillow."
"Weird. Still, maybe he's a lost foreign exchange student of some kind?"
"There's more. Charlie said the kid behaved as if he'd never seen a fork before. He tried to use it to comb his hair. Then, he acts as if he has never learned to eat before. Even stranger, in the hospital, the nurses said he seemed like he had forgotten how to use a toilet. They had to send in a nurse to give him lessons so he didn't wet himself again."
"And the doctors don't think he has some kind of developmental delays going on? That doesn't sound normal."
"No- because he learns. Every lesson he has taught sticks and he shows every sign of intelligence. He's even figuring out how to ask questions without words."
"Have they figured out why he can't speak?" Angela asked.
"Nope. He doesn't know sign language either. They've tried three or four difference versions and he doesn't recognize any."
"Maybe he's one of those, what do you call them? Feral children. You know, like The Jungle Book? Maybe he's been raised by wolves in the forest and he's only now stumbling back onto civilization," Jessica said, her eyes sparkling with curiosity. At the dubious expressions of the other girls, Jessica gave a haughty toss of her head. "It could be!"
"Or, you know, he could be a space alien," Angela said, one eyebrow raised in challenge. "That's just as likely."
"See, there's lots of possibilities!" Jessica said.
"Well, whatever he is, he's Charlie's houseguest and that means they are eating nothing but cereal and Hot Pockets and he will soon be fluent in baseball," Bella said.
"Any news when you will be able to go home?"
Bella shrugged and picked up her pen again. "Charlie said tomorrow. He's sending the kid off to another of his workmate's."
"Does the kid have a name?" Angela asked.
"Well, since he can't tell us what his name is, they've given him a name. For now, they are calling him Edward."
"Edward?"
"Yeah. Charlie started throwing out all the names he could think of until the kid liked one. Apparently 'Bob' and 'Billy' and 'Johnny' were not to his taste."
"How'd he come up with Edward?"
Bella chuckled and glanced up from her book. "I left my collection of Jane Austen books on the living room table. I meant to bring it with me here, but I forgot it in the rush to get to school Friday morning. Yeah, well, after all the names the kid refused, Charlie got a little desperate for inspiration. He started flipping through the book and throwing out all the names he came across."
"I rather wish he'd chosen 'Fitzwilliam,'" Angela said, a wry smile on her face.
"Or Frank," added Jessica.
"Or Fanny," Bella said, one eyebrow raised.
All three girls descended into giggles and soon they had forgotten about their homework entirely, at least, until Mrs. Weber knocked on the door for dinner.
Oooooo
It was a brisk, windy day the day she met Edward for the second time. The sun remained hidden between the charcoal grey of the overhanging clouds but the rain gave the town beneath it a slight reprieve. Long enough for a trip to the park. Long enough for an afternoon spent with Edward.
"Are you serious?" Bella had asked, when her dad approached her that morning. "I thought you didn't want me around him."
"In our house, alone, no. However, at the park and in public, I think it will be safe enough. He hasn't done anything that makes us worried so far. Just, you know, don't go wandering off in the woods with him or anything, but it would do him some good to get outside and see something other than Hayward's house. Hayward's gotta go to Port Angeles for the day and he doesn't wanna bring the kid with him. Please, Bella? It would only be for a few hours and if it gets to be too much, you can bring him back to the station."
She shrugged. "No, it's fine."
"When are you going out with Jake?"
"Fivish," she said. She didn't bother to hide the grin that spread across her face as the prospect. Charlie didn't fail to notice. He assessed her carefully and didn't take his eyes away as he inquired further.
"Things getting serious between you two?"
"Yeah. Well, apparently almost dying is a pretty effective way of helping a guy make up his mind."
"What about your mind?"
"Getting rescued from almost dying is also a pretty good wake up call. Jake's a good guy. He's been steady and solid in all this. He cares about me a lot and I appreciate that."
It was Charlie's turn to shrug. "I'd prefer you to hold off dating till you are, you know, thirty or something."
Bella laughed and bumped his shoulder with her own. "I know."
"Well, you should be back in plenty of time for your date. He's a nice kid. It shouldn't be hard to spend the afternoon with him."
"Ok."
She wore her second warmest jacket that day and walked slowly around the playground. Nearby, she could hear some kids playing basketball and a skateboarder practicing ollies. A few kids were running around the playground and chasing some ducks in the bushes.
She glanced up at her companion, not bothering to hide her curiosity. His own inquisition was equally unabashed. She felt his assessing gaze on her again and again and yet she could not comprehend the questions or answers he held in his green eyes.
She had been surprised when she saw him again. No longer the invalid buried in the hospital bed, he stood nearly a foot taller than her and his cheeks were red with the cold. He wore ill-fitting clothes that hung too big off his lean, lanky frame and he walked with the uncertain, unsteady gait of someone that feels as ill-suited to his feet as to his clothes. Yet, when he saw her, his face broke into such a grin that she would have sworn he was happy to see her. His delight was entirely unfeigned and he clasped both her hands in his as if she was an old friend. Then, he had just stared at her, as if waiting for something, as if searching for something he thought he should find.
Then, slowly, his grin faded and he released her hands.
They walked the circumference of the park, carefully remaining in the populated areas. Bella tried to make simple conversation with him, talking about the time she fell off the swings or the day a duck followed her all the way home. His eyes remained on her as she spoke but she could not tell how much he comprehended. She caught flickers of emotion, the breach of a grin, the warmth of understanding of her tone, but he gave her no words in response.
When she exhausted her attempts at small talk, she let them fall into unbroken silence. It was then that she felt a light tug on her sleeve. Edward pointed at the nearby playground and then pointed again, his head cocked towards it.
"Oh, that's a slide," she said. "The kids like the go down it."
Then, he pointed overhead.
"That's a street light," she said. "So we can come to the park at night and still see."
He nodded carefully and then pointed to the picnic tables and so it went, Bella carefully labelling every object they passed and explaining, as much as she could, what it was for.
When Charlie returned later that afternoon, he found the pair quietly seated on a bench, hardly aware of his approach.
"Oh, is it that time already?" Bella said in surprise. "That went fast!"
She stood and Edward followed after her.
"Well, I guess I'll see you later?" She told her companion.
He reached out to clasp her hand, his eyes fixed on hers as he nodded.
"Well, it must not have been so bad," Charlie remarked on the drive home.
"No. It wasn't. It was actually pretty nice. I mean, I liked him. He's not what I expected."
Charlie snorted. "You know, that's what everyone says. Jones and Hayward have grown rather fond of the kid. They say he's already taken over washing the dishes and sweeping the house every morning. Then, he asks about the names of everything as if he were a two-year-old. I can only guess the number of questions that kid'd be asking if he could talk."
"Any progress finding his family?" Bella asked, suddenly pierced by the thought of Edward alone in the world, separated from the people he belonged to.
"Not a bit."
Bella nodded. She chewed on her bottom lip as she turned away. "I wouldn't mind hanging out with him again sometime," she said. "Maybe I could take him to the grocery store or something."
"That's a good idea," Charlie said. "There's enough in there to keep him busy for days."
oooooooo
"Ba-ba-na-na…," he stuttered, all his focus intent on the yellow fruit she held in her hand.
"Not quite. Ba-na-na," she repeated.
"Ba-ba-na-ba."
"We'll work on it," she said with a laugh. "At least you've managed 'apple' and 'carrot' and 'onion.' At this rate, we'll have you talking in no time!"
Edward grinned widely and reached out to take the fruit from her hand. In a manner of moments, all that was left was the peel.
"Hey! You were supposed to share that!" At his apologetic, banana-filled expression, she shook her head. "No worries. I'll find something else. Hey- how come you didn't do that with the onion?"
At his disgusted grimace, she laughed. "I'm glad you tried it once, though. Charlie laughed for days over your face when you bit into that Walla Walla. It's been good for him to have you around. I've never seen him so entertained."
Edward carefully tossed the banana peel in the kitchen trash bin before collapsing on the couch next to her. He reached out for the notebook on the table and quickly sketched a picture on it. It was a nearly-perfect imitation of the DeLorean.
"Oh, you watched Back to the Future with Charlie?"
He shook his head.
"With Jones?"
He nodded. Then, he crossed out the picture and began to sketch anew. This time, it was a drawing of a toothpaste commercial.
This was another one of his many surprises. The day he had first discovered a pencil and paper, his efforts at communication dramatically improved. The man was an artistic genius. He could create a lifelike sketch in a matter of minutes. He not only asked questions and told stories about his day, he began to create little humorous anecdotes or reflections on the way he saw the world around him. It was a fascinating insight into his mind. It was by no means a perfect means of communication, but he could share more than he had before.
And what a mind it was proving to be.
After three months couch surfing across Forks, Charlie found him a more permanent place in the guest room of one of the local farmers. In exchange for daily mucking of stables and brushing of horses and feeding of chickens, Edward could crash in the room of a son long removed to the glitter and glamor of Seattle. The aging farmer was more than happy for a young set of arms to help with chores and the farmer's wife was even happier to have a pseudo-son to cook for and coddle.
Charlie and his fellow cops had grown rather fond of the kid and kept dropping in to visit him. They'd managed to introduce the kid to fishing and invited him over every time a game was on. Yet, Charlie knew he needed to hang out with kids his own age, too.
The first time Bella brought him along to Mike's house for game night, he was nearly overwhelmed by all the people and the noise. He refrained from playing the games but simply watched from a corner, an intent expression of focus on his face as he watched everyone and everything around him.
His sketches afterwards made Bella's sides split with laughter. He not only caught Mike's expressions perfectly but Jessica's lovestruck flirting and Lauren's jealous gleam. How he could capture not only their likenesses but their personalities after such a brief introduction left her in awe.
"You are so perceptive. It's as if you can see into their minds," she observed.
At this remark, he had grown unexpectedly somber. He shook his head, looked away, and retreated into himself in a way she had never seen him do before.
"You ok? What is it?"
He turned back to face her, his eyes desperately sad. Then, he shrugged once and reached for his notebook again. This time, he drew a picture of a set of faces she had never seen before.
"Who are they?"
He pointed at his previous sketch and then pointed at Bella. Then, he pointed at this new sketch and pointed at himself.
"Your friends?" She asked.
He nodded.
"Where are they?"
He shrugged and pointed to the northeast.
"Edward! If you know where your friends are, why haven't you told Charlie? We can get you a map, we can find them!" She said, reaching out to clasp his arm in her excitement.
He immediately withdrew his arm and his nostrils flared in a sudden burst of strong emotion. He shook his head vehemently.
"No!" He said.
"Why not?"
He only looked at her, the intensity of his stare so unsettling that she felt as if he was conjuring a hot iron in her soul.
It was with such questions that their communication broke down and she wished he could learn to speak faster, fuller, more fluently.
But he couldn't. Not yet.
It was the barbeque at Angela's church that revealed yet another surprise about Edward. The youth group spent all day cooking chicken over grills. Bella helped set up lemonade and brownies while Angela ran back and forth placing checkered tablecloths on every picnic table.
"You have to bring him! He'll love it!" Angela had insisted. Bella smiled. She gradually realized it was more than her father's friends who had grown fond of their new friend. While Angela was known to develop a fondness for every stray kitten and wounded squirrel that was fortunate enough to cross her path, it was not only Angela that wanted him around. Jessica though he was "desperately handsome in a mysterious stranger kinda way." Mike liked showing off how much better he was than Edward at everything. It was Eric Yorkie who showed him a much more genuine kindness and willingness to explain all the eccentricities of human existence in Forks.
"I dunno. If I was in his shoes, I'd want someone to explain ketchup and chicken and touchdowns to me," Eric confessed solemnly. Then, he bent all his attention in helping Edward feel at home. This warmed Bella's heart and made her appreciate the gangly teenage boy more than she had in past.
Gradually, every time Bella went out with her friends, she called Mrs. Williams and invited Edward to come along. He never failed to come, a wide and earnest grin on his face and his arms open to embrace each of his new 'friends.'
No one could deny that he worked harder than nearly anyone they had ever known. Whatever he did, he put all his heart into. Youth group barbecues were no exception. He carried coolers of drinks wherever Mrs. Weber instructed him and then set to work raking leaves and pine needles from the church property.
Thus, it was a bit of a surprise that when he was sent to retrieve another bag of ice from the freezer, he got lost. It took a while before anyone noticed his absence. When a search party was sent, it was then they heard the stumbling, discordant notes from the old piano in the church basement.
Bella, Angela, and Mrs. Weber found Edward seated at the piano with the bag of ice at his feet. He stared at the piano as if it was the Taj Mahal and he reverently picked out notes, a single finger at a time. He jumped in surprise when Mrs. Weber placed a gentle hand on his shoulder. Immediately, his eyes grew wide and he glanced down at the ice on the floor. Before he could make his silent apologies, Mrs. Weber gave him a warm smile.
"It's ok, Edward. Do you know how to play?"
He shook his head. Then, he pointed at the instrument.
"It's called a 'piano,'" Bella interjected, recognizing his method of asking questions. She caught the movement of his mouth as he tried to wrap his tongue around the word. Then, he cast such a longing sigh at the instrument that Mrs. Weber immediately melted.
"Oh, sweetheart, do you want to hear it played?"
Eagerly, he nodded and his eyes spoke more pleadingly than any words could convey.
Mrs. Weber gracefully swept herself onto the bench and with the ease of decades of practice, she began to float her fingers across the keys. Old hymns reverberated across the basement walls and Edward stared as a man entranced. He did not look away from the piano, except for the times he closed his eyes and let himself entirely drown in the music. Tears trailed down his cheeks. When the sounds finally ceased, his eyes flew open and he opened his mouth as if to protest.
Mrs. Weber reached out to clasp his damp face. "I'm sorry, Edward. I have to get back to the chicken now. Dinner is about to be served." At his crestfallen expression, she chuckled. "Well, you certainly know how to make a musician feel treasured." Instead of leaving, she stood frozen in thought for a few more moments, then she turned to him. "Sweetheart, would you like to learn how to play?"
It was a toss up whether his mouth or eyes grew wider at her words. He eagerly nodded his head and jumped up and down on the balls of his feat. He reached out to clasp her hands in his and nodded his head again. Then, he reached out to run his fingers reverently along the keys again.
Mrs. Weber chuckled. "Come by on Monday afternoons. I'm usually here anyway. You can play all you wish."
Edward took her up on her offer and showed up every single Monday.
"I expected him to get bored after a lesson or two," Mrs. Weber later confessed. "That young man is a prodigy, I tell you! He'd play all night if I didn't send him home to sleep. Why, the amount he's learned already is nothing short of astounding! But, it's the heart, the enthusiasm he has for it that makes all the difference. He acts like a starving man whose just discovered water. It's not just the piano. It's music, in general. I gave him Angela's old MP3 player and he wept. That great big boy broke down in tears and he gave me such a hug that I thought for sure I'd not be able to breathe. Mrs. Williams told me he listens to it day and night and now its set him off learning to sing. I'm glad to make him so happy. What an unusual and exceptional young man!"
Bella had already noticed the difference music made. She caught him humming to himself, under his breath, whenever they were together. Sometimes she recognized the tunes, sometimes she didn't. It was a comforting, easy kind of sound, though. It was as if his mood was overflowing out of him and unconsciously pouring into the room around him. If he was thoughtful, the tune would be slow and melodious. If he was excited, it would be upbeat and fast. Then, there were the times the melody was so desperately sad and tinged with longing that it nearly made Bella cry.
It had taken months of slowly building trust before Charlie permitted Edward to visit the Swan home without Charlie there. Charlie hemmed and hawed and made excuses, but those became more and more fragile as Edward grew evermore interconnected in the social life of Forks.
"Let him come over after school," Bella pleaded, one Friday morning. "He's already coming over for the game. If he comes over early, I can give him cooking lessons and we can hang out. You will be home in time for dinner."
Reluctantly, Charlie agreed. "At this point, I should be more skeptical of Jake in my house than Edward," Charlie grumbled to himself, in a tone so low Bella didn't think she was meant to hear it. Still, she took it as the victory it was and invited Edward over that afternoon.
After this, Edward inhabited the living room of the Swan house for more afternoons than he did his own home. Charlie grumbled and groused about it but secretly, Bella knew he enjoyed having Edward around.
For all that Edward seamlessly integrated himself into Bella's life, there was one jarring, dissonant source of friction:
Jacob Black
It was like static electricity in the dark or a tow hitch dragging across a highway behind a truck. Whenever Jake and Edward were together, sparks flew. Dramatically.
"Bella, the guy's in love with you," Jake insisted, after one particularly tense outing at Second Beach. "I don't know how you can't see it. The way he follows you with his eyes, attends to everything you say and do, he's obsessed. The only other thing I've seen him so passionate about is his piano."
"Jake, it's not like that," Bella insisted. At his incredulous expression, she gently pushed his shoulder. "At least, not on my side. Sure, of course he is fond of me. We've spent a lot of time together and I've helped him with learning how to live, you know? But, I'm sure if there is anything, it's just a passing crush."
"A mutual crush?"
"Of course not! Jake, you know better!" She said as she wrapped her arms around him and nestled into his chest.
"I should hope so," Jake answered and leaned down to kiss the top of her head. "Doesn't mean I like you two hanging out so much."
"You can't do anything about that," Bella said.
"I can grumble and complain."
"And make yourself an ass."
At Jake's answering scowl, Bella laughed. "Jake, if, and I do mean if, he decides to act on this supposed crush, I'll set him straight. However, I don't think you have anything to worry about."
"Sure, sure."
Oooooo
It was not only verbal language that Edward sought to learn. He very quickly determined to learn how to read and write. In his efforts, he coopted everyone he could find with a penchant for teaching basic literacy. From the librarian to the retired English teacher to his neighbor's first grader, Edward sought out everyone who was willing to teach him anything. Soon, his room was overflowing with books and alphabet charts and sight word lists.
He eagerly sought Bella out with lists of words he didn't understand or concepts he wished to know. Bella was amazed at how much more they could talk about, how much more he could say and put into words.
It wasn't only his language skills that had improved. He understood how to shake hands in greeting, how to ask for someone to pass the mustard at dinner, how to inquire into Mrs. Smith's children's health in a way that put her at ease and made her smile. His little social stumbles and endearingly awkward missteps slowly evaporated, as if they had never been there. His face grew red with embarrassment when Bella referred to the incident with the fork or the day he tried to eat steak raw.
"I didn't know," he said, succinctly, but did not explain further.
Yet, Bella always wondered. How could he not know?
Jessica insisted on taking him shopping for clothes that fit him and suited him better. Lauren made him sit for her to trim his unruly mop of copper hair. It was up to Charlie to give him lessons on shaving.
"It's as if the kid never knew he could grow a beard," Charlie said with a good-natured chuckle.
"How old do you think he is?" Bella asked, finally voicing one of the many questions she still held about Edward.
Charlie shrugged. "My guess is between sixteen and nineteen. He's still such a lanky, awkward thing I don't think he's quite full grown. I wouldn't be surprised if he's got a few more inches to grow."
Bella's eyes grew wide. "You think he'll get even taller?"
Charlie laughed. "What's the matter with that? Jake's got a few inches on him and he's even younger."
"Yeah, but, I dunno, he just seems so tall!"
"Nah, you're just short." Bella frowned as her dad reached over to muss her hair. At her expression, he leaned over to kiss the top of her head instead. "I think you're all done growing, though."
"Yeah, yeah," she said, gracing her dad with a dramatic roll of her eyes.
"I can't believe it. My little girl's nearly done with high school."
"Three more months!" She said, her smile growing to envelope her whole face.
"I just can't believe it. Where'd the time go?" His face beamed with pride and warm affection. Then, he turned nearly sheepish. "That reminds me… what do you think about Edward going to Forks High?"
Bella's expression immediately shifted to one of bafflement. "What do you mean?"
"You know… taking classes there. Like a regular student."
"But he hasn't done… he can't… I mean… wait, did he ask?"
Charlie nodded. "He knows he will probably need to take remedial classes eventually, but he says he wants to experience what life is like in, what he calls, 'a real high school' first. He says he wants to know what it's like, even if he can't keep up with all the subject matter."
"What does the school think about that?"
Charlie gave her a sideways glance and a slightly mischievous smile. "Do you really think I can't convince the school to let him in, at least for the rest of the school year?"
Bella shook her head slowly while smiling. "No, you could probably get them to do anything you want."
Charlie's dark eyes glimmered with his amusement. "Would you mind? I mean, your friends seem to be pretty taken with him, but I'd expect you to take the lead in helping him get oriented."
"I wouldn't mind. It would be fun. He's right. It would be a good learning experience for him."
Bella looked away from her father and grew lost in her thoughts again. Noting her change in posture, Charlie cleared his throat.
"What is it?" He asked.
"I just wish we knew more about his background, where he comes from, you know?"
"He still won't talk about it?"
"Not a word."
Charlie blew out a breath. "If he wanted to talk about it, he would. Till then, he's here."
"You're right."
"Of course, I'm right. I'm always right. And don't you forget it!"
Oooooo
All eyes in Forks High remained fixed on the tall, lean figure that intruded into their hallowed halls that Monday in March. Whispers followed each of his footsteps and despite the fixation on his every movement, the student population gave the interloper a wide, wary berth as he traveled through the school.
"That's the kid who showed up out of nowhere!" They said, "no one knows who…or what… he is."
Edward ignored it all and took in every detail of the school around him. He watched the student life in fixed fascination and overflowed with questions about the fire alarms and pneumatic closers and locker combinations. Each class he attended flooded his insatiable curiosity with a feast of new information.
"We looked at onions in a microscope and we talked about what was called the 'Declaration of Independence' and we read a story about a mouse," he gushed, when he joined Bella's table for lunch that first day. Eric accompanied him from his final class to the school cafeteria, making sure he didn't get lost along the way and answering his latest flurry of questions with the patience only Eric could muster.
"His enthusiasm makes me feel like an old, jaded cynic," Mike whispered to Angela. "Were we ever that excited for high school?"
"I think the last time you were that excited for school was kindergarten," Lauren added over his shoulder, while reaching in to steal one of his French fries.
Mike unsuccessfully tried to swat away her hand. He covered the remains of his food with his hands, all the while glaring at Lauren to keep her away. She gleefully devoured her stolen food and then considered Edward more carefully.
"You say you want to have the full high school experience?" She asked, her voice so nearly a purr that Bella immediately felt suspicious.
Edward nodded eagerly between bites of his apple. "I want to have the full human experience!"
The table fell silent, all eyes fixed on him.
Lauren cleared her throat. "Human experience… meaning you have experience being something other than human?"
Edward paused with his apple held halfway to his lips and he blinked. Slowly, he glanced around at all the other faces at the table before looking at Bella. He opened and closed his mouth once before shaking his head. "Forgive me. I think I used the wrong word. I meant what you said first, Lauren."
As if taking a collective sigh of relief, the table descended back into wary conversations and attention slowly drifted away from Edward. Lauren, however, was not so easily distracted from her purpose.
"So, who are you taking to prom, then?" Lauren asked, her perfectly manicured smile as false as her hair color.
"Prom? What is that word?" Edward asked.
Before Lauren could explain further, Eric Yorkie stepped in, effectively using his body as a barrier between Edward and Lauren. He succinctly explained everything he thought pertinent about the ritual. Once he finished, Edward fell silent for a few minutes before leaning over to whisper in Bella's ear.
"Did Eric explain 'prom' properly?" He asked.
She nodded.
"I would be honored if you would attend this 'prom' with me," he said, his eyes fixed on her face with that familiar intensity she never seemed to grow immune to.
She sat in stunned silence for a moment before she gave him a regretful smile. "I'm going with Jake," she said.
She watched his expression fall. She wished she had not had to see how much her refusal wounded him. "I'm really sorry," she said. "Maybe you can go with… ummm… someone else."
"I do not think there is anyone else," he said, once again meeting her eyes, the emotion within them making her look away and swallow.
"Sure there is."
Oooooo
"It's not fair," Mike groused. "How does a guy who just learned to read get a better grade on a literature test than me? I mean, last month he was borrowing first grade books from my mom and this month, he's acing a test on Romeo & Juliet. It's just not fair!"
"If it makes you feel any better, he's still failing math," Lauren added in.
"Mike'd feel better if he wasn't one test away from joining him," Tyler said. At Mike's answering scowl, he only laughed more.
"You know, he didn't even know the name of the country we live in," Lauren said. "He knew nothing about the American Revolution or how to find England on a map. For a guy who is obviously intelligent, how does that happen? It's like he from a different world."
"Or grew up in a bubble?" Tyler added in. "In P.E., he didn't know what a mile is or how to do a push up."
"Maybe he came from one of those super strict home school families. You know, like the Amish or something," Jessica added in.
"That would explain a lot," Mike said, thoughtfully. "I've seen documentaries on that kind of thing. Once they reach a certain age, they get the chance to choose to join the outside world or not. Maybe he chose to leave his family and join the 'real world.' That would explain why he can't go home and has cut ties with his family."
"It doesn't explain how he ended up in Forks," Tyler said.
"Regardless of how he got here, he's here now," Lauren said. "It is our sacred duty to expose him to as much of the 'real world' as possible."
"Oh, come on, Lauren. Leave him alone. He's not interested," Jessica said.
"He's a man. Of course, he's interested," she said, a smug grin on her face. "I intend to give him as many experiences as possible."
"Ugh, you know he's got a thing for Bella… or is that why you are after him?" Jessica said. "It's not gonna work."
"Bella's got a boyfriend. Edward needs a girl to help him mend his broken heart. I am only trying to do my best to help him heal… and forget her," Lauren said.
Despite all of Lauren's best efforts, Edward remained steadfast against her. With that piercing gaze of his, he assessed her, as if he could hear the very thoughts beneath her words, and then spurned her advances.
"I am not a trophy for you to win," he said, after a third or fourth attempt. "You cannot prove your value through me."
And that was that. While cordial and polite, he noticeably avoided her.
"Why don't you give Lauren a try?" Mike asked him once. "She can at least show you a good time."
Edward stared at Mike as if he had grown a third eye and he shook his head. "She cannot give me what I seek," he answered.
"Oh, come on! What is it you are looking for?" Mike asked.
"A soul – that precious, immortal spark of the divine that is granted only to humans," Edward answered. "Lauren will never grant me hers… she has not yet learned the value."
It was Mike's turn to stare in aghast wonder. He shook his head and added yet another idiosyncrasy to Edward's list and didn't ask about Lauren again.
Oooo
Edward never did go to prom. However, when Forks High graduated, Edward sat next to Charlie and Jacob and cheered as loudly as they did when Bella's name was called. He wept even harder than both when she packed up her truck to move to Seattle for college. While Charlie and Jacob tried to maintain their composure and not show how much her departure affected them, Edward didn't bother to hide it. With unabashed emotion, he wept and swept her up in his arms.
"I will miss you so much," he whispered into her ear.
"Don't cry about it," she said, when she pulled away and saw the track of tears down his freckled face. She reached up to wipe them away. He caught her hand to stop her and then he carried her hand to his mouth where he kissed the place his tears had fallen.
"To cry is a gift I do not take for granted. It is as human as music and just as beautiful. It is evidence of a soul and I will be grateful for every single tear, for as long as they are mine," he whispered. Then, he opened her palm so it caught one final tear. He closed her hand around the crystal drop. "You are worth every tear."
Then, he walked back to join Charlie.
She could still see all three men waving to her as she drove away, drove towards her future, her life.
Oooo
"Look at you! Driving and everything!" Bella gushed. She released Edward from her embrace to take in everything about him. He stood in front of his truck, an old beater he had bought off of one of Charlie's fishing buddies. It wasn't much to look at, but it could manage the drive between Seattle and Forks. He hadn't let a week pass by before he put the truck to the test.
"I'm all grown up now," Edward said, a fervent smile on his face, that particular smile he seemed to only direct towards her.
Charlie had been right. Edward had grown another three inches and the rest of him had finally caught up. He walked with the confidence and strength of a fully grown man, no longer the lanky, gangly teenage boy he had once been. She would hardly have recognized him… except she never could forget those eyes.
"I heard you got the position of manager at Newton's. Congrats!" She said, her enthusiasm entirely unfeigned.
"Well, it's nothing like a college degree, but it's something," he answered. "How are classes?"
She let out a huff of air that send her loose tendrils of hair flying and she threw out her hands. "Terrible! I've got the hardest load yet. I don't know what I was thinking to take so many units at once!"
"You were thinking you want to finish faster."
"Yeah, well, there's that."
"You'll do it. I know it," he said.
She met his smile with her own. He was right and she knew it.
"What brings you to Seattle? I mean, other than testing the limits of that monster of a truck you got pawned off on you."
"Hey, don't belittle the truck. That is my ticket to freedom." She snorted but at her inquisitive expression, he continued. "I want to go to the symphony," he said.
"You would."
"There's also a piano teacher that Mrs. Weber recommended."
"I heard you have outgrown what our dear Forks piano teacher can teach you."
He gave a modest shrug. "I want to learn as much as I can while I can."
"I heard you've even been writing your own stuff."
"I've been playing around with composing my own music. It's been keeping me busy."
"I'm glad. Mrs. Weber said you are very gifted."
"It is the overflow of the soul that creates music… without a soul, there is no music," he said. Then, he sighed and ran his hand through his hair, making it stand on end beneath his fingers.
"Well, your soul is beautiful, then."
"It isn't mine, at least not yet," he whispered, so low she wasn't sure she had heard him properly. Before she could inquire further, he reached out and took her arm. "I think you are in need of a break. Let's get out of here."
She smiled. "See, there you go. Acting as if you can read my mind again."
His expression turned brittle, somehow fragile, and his grip on her arms tightened. "Not anymore," he whispered. "Though, yours was a beautiful mind, a beautiful soul. Everything has a price… and a soul is the most valuable of all."
"What was that?" She asked, hoping he would explain himself.
He didn't.
Oooooo
It was the summer after she graduated college that she returned to Forks, degree in her suitcase. It was one of those brilliant, sunny days which cast golden light through every crack and crevice of the forest and turned the waves of the sea into glittering shards of turquoise and white. Wildflowers blanketed the fern-covered forests and open meadows and for a few precious weeks, the sky wore its deepest cornflower blue.
Jacob and Bella married on the pebble-strewn beach, with all their friends and family in attendance. Despite all the ups and downs, growth and conflict they had faced, they had worked through it. More than ever, they knew they belonged together.
She had stayed up far too late the night before her wedding, walking aimlessly along the marina at First Beach. She watched the sunset between James Island and Little James Island before wandering back and forth along the beach. The waves washed away so many of her thoughts and stirred up so many of her memories. The next day would change everything… and she was more than ready for the change.
The crescent moon was high in the sky when Edward found her there.
"Hey," he said, a slight smile on his pale, freckled face.
"Hey yourself," she answered.
They stared at each other for a few moments before she turned away. "Did Charlie send you out to find me?"
"Yeah."
"How'd you know where to look?"
"I didn't. That's why it took so long."
She laughed. "It's too beautiful out tonight for me to come home early. I came out to bask."
"It is nice out," he said. Rather than pressing her to go home, he sat down on the massive driftwood log she sat on and he lost himself in the roar of the waves, the light of the moon across their white-capped crests.
"You have a big day tomorrow," he commented.
"Yeah."
"You ready?"
"So ready."
"I'm glad," he said.
They fell into the easy, companionable silence they had shared for so many years. They watched as small groups of tourists set bonfires on the beach and walked back and forth on the porches of their cabins. Edward began to hum a song under his breath. She thought she recognized it. Maybe it was one he had written. There were so many now. Rather than inquire into the song, she blurted out the thoughts ever-present on her mind.
"I almost died, you know." He started in surprise. When she saw his head swing in her direction, she continued. "It was a few weeks before you turned up in Forks. You see, there was a deer and the road was slick and Mike panicked and, well, everyone said I should have died that day. It was supposed to be the end. It wasn't. I'm still here. When I woke, Jake had found me. I don't know how, but somehow, he was there. It was then that I just knew that was the way it was supposed to be."
In the light cast by the moon and the lights of the nearby cabins, Bella could see him swallow thickly. "I'm glad," he said. "He loves you. He will do his best to make you happy."
"He will."
"He'll be happier if you are awake for the wedding, though."
She laughed. "You are right. Help me up. It's time to go home." She reached out her hand for him to help her to her feet. Hand-in-hand, they walked up to where their trucks were parked.
He helped her into the cab of her truck before casting a meaningful glance back towards the beach.
"You go ahead. I think I will stay out for a little longer. I'm not the one who needs my sleep tonight." He cast her a cheeky grin and leaned over to kiss her cheek.
"Hey! Not fair!" She protested, nearly tempted to remain on the beach alongside him longer, even though she knew she shouldn't.
"No, it's not," he said, his smile faltering with the intensity of the expression he directed towards her. He took one step forward to wrap her in his arms.
"Good-night, Bella."
Oooooo
The sun rose in a glorious riot of heat and hues on the morning after Mr. and Mrs. Black took their vows. Bella woke in contented warmth, nestled against the bare chest of her husband, her fingers intertwined in his dark hair. She sighed and stretched before burying herself against him again.
The wedding had been all they had hoped for – in its simplicity, its shared joy, and its celebration of life. All her favorite people had been in attendance and, best of all, at the end of it, she walked away married to the love of her life.
Jacob didn't stir as she slowly disentangled herself and pulled on her t-shirt from its crumpled heap on the floor. Her stomach grumbled and her mouth watered as she remembered the various pastries in the fridge, waiting for her. She yawned again before walking towards the door. She nearly yelped when her foot met something metallic and sharp on the floor. It made a clanking sound and she had to grab a nearby table to keep herself upright. What had caused her to trip?
She leaned down and gasped when she saw the sharp, elaborately decorated dagger next to her foot.
"What on earth?" she said to herself.
It was more of a work of art than any weapon had a right to be. It's handle was gilded with ivory and gold and interwoven with what appeared to be rubies and sapphires. At the deadly sharpness of its point, she was grateful she had stumbled on the hilt or she would have lost a toe.
Beneath the dagger lay a single page of paper. She recognized it at once as one of Edward's compositions. The hand-written music notes crossed the page and filled it on both sides in his typical organized chaos. It was obviously torn from a book, based on the jagged edge on one side. The title of the song read, "Bella's Lullaby." Yet, there were no lyrics to the song itself. Instead, written across the entire page in blood red ink were the words, "You are my soul."
"Babe," Bella said, loud enough to wake Jacob. "Do you know what this is about?"
He grumbled something unintelligible before sitting upright. "What?"
"This knife. Do you know anything about it?"
"The what?"
Oooooo
Edward was gone.
No matter how hard Charlie searched, no one could find as much as a security cam shot or a parking ticket. It was as if he had disappeared as completely and mysteriously as he had first appeared.
"I don't understand it," Charlie confessed, in one of those moments he felt like talking. He sat on the front porch and nursed a Coke in his right hand and a bowl of popcorn in his left. He stared out in the glimmering twilight beyond, his face downcast with sadness.
"He never said good-bye," Bella said, her own sorrow mirroring her father's.
"I just can't understand int. He had a life here. A good one. He had friends and people who cared about him. He had his whole life in front of him. Why did he just up and leave?" Charlie said.
"I have my theories," Jacob retorted, sarcasm dripping from each word. "Really, though, this was dramatic, even for him."
"I can't believe it was connected to me," Bella said, though she didn't believe her own words.
"Of course, you don't," Jacob said. "Next, you are going to tell me you don't think it's freakin' creepy to wake up from your wedding night to find a weapon and love note from my former rival in our bedroom. I mean, that's nearly nightmarish."
Bella sighed. She knew she couldn't argue the point. Especially after Charlie's lab techs had discovered the writing on that note was actually written in blood.
"As far as wedding presents go, it was rather ostentatious," Charlie remarked dryly.
"I can't argue that. An ancient Etruscan artifact worth more than a down payment on a house is not something to be sneezed at. How Edward got his hands on the relic… or why he felt like giving us a dagger rather than a blender is beyond me. As I said – creepy."
"I just wished he talked to us before doing something so drastic," Bella said. "We could have helped him… or at least said good-bye."
"No, we couldn't," Jacob said.
"We don't have any evidence he… you know… harmed himself… right?" Bella asked, her voice shaking with the emotion within.
"Bella, I've got nothing. I combed this entire county and haven't found so much as a fingerprint. He's just gone," Charlie said, his tone resigned.
"I miss him," she said.
"I do, too."
Bella didn't bother to fight her tears but let them fall freely. They trailed down her cheeks until her shoulders were soaked through and then she let them fall some more.
After all, each tear was precious. Each was a gift. It was part of her soul… and his.
She still felt the warmth of his tears on her palm, the salty wet trail of those tears she held in her hand. Her palm tingled at the memory.
"He still lives," she whispered. "I'm sure of it. In my heart of hearts, I know he is still with us, just as he always has been."
"I hope you are right," Charlie answered, moving in to wrap his daughter in his arms. He leaned over to kiss her forehead. "I hope we see him again someday, in this life, or the next."
"Me, too."
More author's notes:
This idea has been bumbling around my brain for over a year now. I couldn't decide the appropriate context or tone and so it hasn't gone anywhere. Then, I decided that instead of a single setting, I decided to just write all the ones I was playing with.
Legends of mermaids/water-spirits/sirens are nearly universal. Sometimes they are malevolent and sometimes they are helpful. Sometimes they are beautiful, sometimes terrible.
Hans Christian Anderson's famous tale pulls on inspirations from existing folk tales and myths. He references myths from a sixteenth century German alchemist named Paracelsus who wrote about the "undines" or water spirits. In his stories, he says that these water spirits can acquire a soul through marriage with a human. Their long-lives are shortened to human lives, but then they gain a soul for an after-life. (Research from Wikipedia) In his story, HCA pushed back against the idea that the mermaid was dependent on a human to gain her soul. Instead, he gave her the opportunity to become a "spirit of the air" who was capable of earning her own soul through good deeds. (hence the dubiously "happy" ending to his version of the story.)
Anyhow, I am going to continue to play with this plot and themes in various ways.