The Devil Finds Work for Idle Hands

by ellasdogs

A follow-up to An Old-Fashioned Family Christmas.

THE DEVIL FINDS WORK FOR IDLE HANDS

1

" – that time when I knew everybody's first names because we worked from two rooms we rented in somebody else's office, and I could count all of you on the fingers of one hand. And you were just as young as I was and not that much older than our Wondrous Woodland. A little later, I knew all of your spouses by name and then your kids, because we were growing – in age, in numbers and in scope. And now, there is an army of men and women, great people and great workers, all contributing to our joint success. I am often asked how I was able to achieve so much in a comparatively short time, and my answer always is – " her voice caught in her throat, "my answer always is that I haven't achieved squat. But we, on the other hand – " A little sob broke from her.

Sitting at the table nearest to the podium, Jenny and Greg exchanged concerned glances.

"I wish I had been able to get in last night. But hell, with all the delays, I ended up rushing here straight from the airport. How was it this morning, Greg?"

"As you can probably imagine. A bit of crying, a bit of yelling, a bit of second-guessing everything..."

"I see. And how was Jannie?"

Greg chuckled. "Good one."

Jenny gave him a sympathetic look. "I wish you had met her years ago. She always used to have so much life in her. Something in her broke when Jack was gone and never got fixed."

"Aren't you forgetting something, Jenny? I did meet her years ago. For all the good it did me."

"Oh no! What's wrong with me? Of course, you did. It just escaped me for a moment."

"The timing was never quite right, was it? Shh."

"My friends..." The speaker on the podium seemed to have gotten a hold of herself. "There are so many of you by now that I can't possibly know all of you personally. And yet, I think of all of you as my friends. Years ago, I pledged to treat you fairly, reward good work and loyalty and look out for your interests, no matter what. Now that I will no longer be involved in the company's operations, I am glad to say I leave you in very good hands."

A low rumble shook the audience.

She went on. "Moreover, I insisted on including a clause in the contract that for the next five years there will be no restructuring, no layoffs and no salary cuts. If anyone chooses to leave, they will do so of their own volition and when they feel ready for change. That was my one non-negotiable condition."

The rumble grew in volume until it exploded in cheers and a roar of applause. People were rising from their seats.

The petite woman in a black velvet thigh-slit dress and stiletto heels smiled through her tears and raised both hands towards the audience. Then she turned to walk off the podium.

"Ms. Wood, one moment, please! A question!"

She halted and turned towards the voice. "Yes?"

"What's on your radar these days?"

"What do you mean?"

"Like, what's your next step? Open another business? Travel? Enjoy early retirement?"

She was silent for a few beats, eyes downcast. "Your guess is as good as mine."

2

The three of them lingered over drinks and coffee back at the condo, until Greg rose. "Okay, I'll leave you ladies to catch up."

"Where do you think you are going?"

"Back to my house, Janet. I also have one of those, remember?"

"You don't have to leave on my account, Greg," interceded Jenny. "There's room for all three of us here."

"It's okay, Jenny. You and your sister have hardly any time left before you need to be heading back tomorrow morning, and I'm sure you have lots to chat about. I have the one advantage over you of living within easy reach. It was great seeing you." He pulled Janet to him and kissed her. "I'll call you tomorrow, okay, darling?"

"Well, there's that," sighed Janet after he left and reached for a cigarette.

Jenny snatched the pack away from her. "Enough for tonight! Jannie, what are you doing? You've been chain-smoking all evening!"

"Don't sound so shocked! You are one to talk."

"That's different. I've been smoking for years." Jenny broke off with a wistful little smile. "Do you know when I really started smoking?"

"I dunno. In college?"

"Try high school. I felt thoroughly lost and lonely after – "

" – after I moved away and abandoned you. We've covered this extensively more than once."

"So we have. As I was saying, I didn't like the idea of staying lost and lonely for the rest of my life, so I started making an effort to go out and socialize as much as I could. Which was easier said than done. Just picture me at parties, standing in a corner all by myself, without a soul to talk to or a clue as to what to say. But once I picked up a cigarette, suddenly I was no longer just some pathetic wallflower. Now I had something to keep me busy. Something to do with my hands. And that was a totally different story, even if not the most wholesome." Jenny gave her sister a keen glance. "You picked up this nasty habit just recently, after years of being the poster girl for a healthy lifestyle. What's your excuse, I wonder?"

"Actually, not all that different from yours. You know how they say the devil finds work for idle hands?"

"As I've learned from personal experience. I take it, your hands are idle now for the first time in your life. Is that it?"

Janet nodded silently.

"Look, Jannie, I get that today was brutal. Saying goodbye to your life's work, your whole way of life – "

"It hasn't been my way of life for quite a while now. You know I never got back into the saddle after... Jack. I just couldn't get up the old enthusiasm. Everything fell flat."

"I know. But then you seemed to have regained an interest in life. You have a new man, and one hell of a man, at that. You two are really cute together."

"Don't I know it! Greg is awesome, and he does care about me. But – "

"But he's not enough."

"This is not about him. What is the rest of my life looking to be like? Keeping house for him? Being a lady of leisure? Would that be enough for you?"

"No, but we are not talking about me. Sis, there's a whole world of opportunities out there for someone like you. So many exciting new areas where you could apply yourself."

"I know." She paused. "Somehow, applying yourself when you don't have to earn a living takes some of the excitement out of it."

"Are you saying hunger is the only reason for learning and working? With your abilities and your intellectual curiosity, aren't you motivated to expand your horizons and take on new challenges? There are many fascinating subjects and occupations to get involved in, other than big business."

"Jenny, you ever noticed how nothing about money is fair? There are myriads of people out there struggling to eke out a living, and here I am, immobilized by not having to. And it isn't just about work. I keep thinking back to that speech you gave me a couple of years ago, about how my wealth may get in the way of my love life."

"And?"

"And wondering how I ended up with a baby sister who is so much wiser than I could ever be."

"So what else is new? I thought you'd be used to it by now. And anyway, you did manage to find the one guy in a thousand who isn't bothered by it or doesn't feel emasculated."

"True. On the surface of it."

"What's beneath the surface of it?"

"Maybe nothing. Perhaps I am the one who's bothered by it. Just think on it for a sec, Jenny. I can tell he's ready to take it to the next level."

"You mean, marriage?"

"Maybe not marriage, but let's say moving in together. How would he even word it? "We could save on rent? Pool our resources and get a bigger place?" Does he pay half of all expenses, which I don't need and which will put undue hardship on him, or live entirely off me? Do I actually keep house like a proper little woman, while we all know I could afford to hire a staff of housekeepers? Do you realize how little sense all this makes?"

"Or you are trying to jump the gun and solve the problem before it even arises. None of this has happened yet, has it?"

"You know what I am talking about, Jenny. Even without the moving in issue. What do you think our lifestyle looks like? When we go out on the town or travel, it's never on the scale I could easily afford and still higher than he can. He is doing fine in his own business, but paying alimony and child support for two kids doesn't exactly leave him in clover. What's worse, he's kind of old school, believing the man should always pick up the tab. I've managed to disabuse him of this notion, so now we go Dutch or take turns paying, and he still gets the short end of the stick. The whole thing is somehow – dishonest. Not natural. It doesn't do either of us any favors and puts a strain on the relationship."

"Why, has he ever said anything?"

"Jenny, he is way too nice. And he does care about me too much to risk getting me upset. But if I've learned anything in the course of my career, it's how to read people. And I can tell he's uncomfortable with all this. It does come out once in a while in subtler, passive-aggressive ways."

"Like right now."

"Oh, you got it too?"

"What's not to get? I am no stranger to reading people either. "I also have one of those, remember?" Just a tiny chip on his shoulder, but a chip nevertheless."

"See? I told you!"

"Well, as long as you remember that impactful speech of mine. I know you've taken my suggestions to heart and done pretty good on them."

"Right. Donations. Charity work. The whole nine yards."

"Don't know why you sound so dismissive, Jannie. It may not feel like a big deal to you, but you aren't doing it for your own pleasure, are you now? I know for a fact your donations have made a lot of difference where it mattered most and helped countless people. Anything wrong with that?"

"I wanted to do more than just donate but also to get involved in the actual work. And you are right, I wasn't doing it out of boredom or to look good in my own eyes. I put my whole heart into it."

"You are preaching to the choir, Jannie. I never doubted that for a minute. What are you trying to say?"

"That for some reason I've never quite figured out, it also fell flat. Despite all you just mentioned, I felt I wasn't succeeding. As you can imagine, that wasn't a feeling I was used to."

"I should think not. Could it all be in your head? After all, the hungry were fed, the schools and clinics were opened… Which part of this spells failure to you?"

"What I mean is, my money did that, not my work. And my money's still at it. I did end up doing little more than signing fat checks. Still signing away every chance I get. But it's never felt like a personal achievement to me! It either wasn't enough of a challenge or too much of a challenge which I couldn't rise to."

"Your money didn't fall out of the sky like manna in the desert. You worked your ass off for it. Every cent is your personal achievement."

"Jenny, I haven't done any work in almost two years. It's just my investments still working for me, my money making more money while I am twiddling my thumbs."

"And feeling sidelined, irrelevant and bored stiff. Just as you said, nothing about money is ever fair."

"Absolutely."

"Now, Jannie, hear me out. I know what I am gonna say may sound – "

"Jenny, please, whichever way it may sound, let's hear it. I'll be the judge of that."

"Okay. Are you ready for this?" Jenny gave her sister a mischievous glance. "Have you ever thought of... of taking it one step further? Of giving it all away?"

"How do you mean, all?"

"I mean, your whole fortune."

"Oh my goodness!" Janet gaped at her sister in shock. "Give away everything I have? A bit of an overkill, don't you think?"

"It's not unheard of. There are many examples, from the Bible to our days. Remember the billionaire who wanted to die broke?"

"Yes, it does ring a bell. But if I am not mistaken, that man was almost ninety. I am not there yet. Neither am I planning to enter a convent and take the vow of poverty."

"So, let's summarize. You are not enjoying your wealth, to say the least. It's getting in the way of your happiness. You are just sitting on it, without a clear idea of what to do with it. Yet, you balk at the thought of giving it away. You are right, this isn't fair and doesn't make sense."

"But Jenny! After years of having no money worries, of wanting for nothing, the thought is terrifying! I may not be living as large as a person of my means could, but at least I know that the money's there in case I need it! That I have a safety net underneath me! I've forgotten how to live any other way!"

"Totally understandable. I am not saying give away literally everything down to the last penny. Leave yourself a nice tidy amount in the bank, a decent income, just enough for maintaining a respectable lifestyle and for emergencies. Of course, investments are always a gamble. Keep some of the safest working for you for as long as they can. You'll feel freed, motivated to go out and do something productive instead of sitting on your hands and wasting your great potential. Perhaps even happier in your love life. You'll be jettisoning a huge weight and starting anew, so to speak. I remember you wishing you could push the reset button and start over. Well, here's your chance."

Janet seemed deep in thought for a couple of minutes before she spoke.

"I admit, this is beginning to sound almost tempting. But we never know what may lie ahead! What if I need it at some point? For myself, or for Mom and Dad or you. Or maybe even – "

" – a family of your own. A kid. Is that it?"

Janet blushed. "I haven't quite closed the door on the possibility. Not just yet. Although the chances are diminishing with every passing second."

"And of course, should it happen, you would want to give him or her all the best that money can buy."

"Naturally! What parent wouldn't?"

"It may not be the best thing for the kid, having everything handed to them on a silver platter from the day they are born." Jenny suddenly giggled. "Listen to us! Arguing over parenting a nonexistent kid."

Janet didn't look amused. "Jenny, there's a lot of sense in what you are saying. But I am not sure I am prepared to take such a plunge right away. I will need to – "

The phone rang.

"Greg?" she said eagerly, picking up. But the man's voice on the other end of the line was unfamiliar.

"Ms. Wood? I apologize for such a late call. My work tends to run well into the night. I hope I haven't disturbed you."

"Who is this, please?"

"You don't know me. I need just a few minutes of your time to introduce myself and explain the reason for my call. Then, if you are interested, perhaps we could meet over a cup of coffee and discuss it in greater detail?"

After she hung up, bemused, Jenny gave her a quizzical look. She shrugged.

"Believe it or not, that was some movie producer. I must be too tired, as I didn't get a very good idea what a Hollywood producer may want with me. He suggested meeting in person to talk about something. I have to say, I am mildly intrigued."

"In person! Jannie, be careful!"

"In a public place. He made a point of stressing it."

"Hmm, suspicious. He doth protest too much. My red flag's up. What are you thinking? Are you gonna go?"

"I don't see why not. After all, it's not like I am doing something valuable with my time. Don't worry about me, sis. I know how to take care of myself."

3

"Ma'am, they make movies "based on a true story" at the drop of a hat. Most revolve around psychotic murderers, or battered women, or child molestation, or some such unpleasant stuff. Which, of course, is the major selling point. But I have the impression people are getting tired of all the gore and horror and would be into something heartwarming and inspirational."

"Even so, what can that possibly have to do with me? My story is as formulaic and clichéd as any of those, besides lacking the major selling point you just mentioned."

He had been sitting across the table from her on a Beverly Hills café patio for about half an hour. Time not entirely wasted, since the woman was pretty easy on the eyes. But as for his main reason for this meeting, he was still getting nowhere.

"Believe me, Ms. Wood, your story definitely deserves to be told. Just think what an inspiration it would be to young women everywhere. A teenage girl from an Indiana suburb descends on LA without a penny to her name, gets a job on her very first day mucking around in the back room of a tiny flower shop, gets promoted to manager at twenty-three, owns the shop by twenty-seven – and goes on to build a thriving chain of flower shops by her early thirties!"

"I know. I've also read that article on me in LA Times from a few years back. As far as I can see, it's nothing but your quintessential American success story. As old as the good old US of A. Small-town kid makes good in a big city. The very definition of formulaic."

"Oh but that's just the bare bones. Ms. Wood, you probably think that being a man, I am not aware of what a male-dominated culture we live in. Believe me, I have a pretty good idea. A woman achieving towering success in a man's world, and a very young woman at that, and a very – er – er – "

She nodded impatiently. "I get it".

"Both the youngest CEO of a major corporation in California and one of the very few women CEOs! You are an icon! Told properly, your story could be made to stand out."

"Perhaps only due to a miracle of storytelling."

"Have some trust in our storytellers. There's another thing about you I find quite extraordinary. Dig into any moderate success story, and you'll find endless accounts of unscrupulousness and double-crossing, grievances true or perceived, crooked dealings, mistreated employees, disgruntled business partners, bested competitors with their noses very much out of joint... So, believe me when I say we've looked under every stone to dig up dirt on you. And the only dirt we've been able to unearth was that there was no dirt."

"Really? How well did you look?"

"Oh please. Our research is solid. All we could find were testimonies to your stellar character, business and personal integrity, empathy and kindness. After a while, it even got monotonous."

"Just as it will be to your audience."

"Once again, not if presented the right way. It wouldn't only dwell on the business side of your life. What is a story worth its salt without a good romance to spice it up? Especially if we played up your tragic romance. It would be made even more gripping by – er, by your gentleman friend's – "

"By my fiancé's death?"

"It would certainly add a whole layer of drama. Years of mutual devotion, a gifted young entrepreneur cut down in his prime – "

"How auspicious of Jack to die when he did," she murmured.

The producer carried on. "It's just begging to be made into a movie! Of course, we would embellish the drama angle, throw in an obsessive admirer or a jilted lover or two, and we'd be golden!"

All throughout his pitch, he tried to gauge her reaction. She sat with her eyes hooded, and only by the way her long eyelashes quivered from time to time, he was able to tell when he had said the wrong word or pushed the wrong button. He hoped he had managed to get in a few right ones, as well.

"Let's say I agree to this. Just hypothetically. Who would play me?"

Bingo! It was more than he could have hoped for at this point. Definitely moving in the right direction.

Casting her shouldn't be a problem. There was no shortage of wannabe starlets of the same type, petite dark-eyed lovelies hanging around the studios, waiting tables and sweeping floors while holding their breath for their big chance. Many of those with talent, too, which most probably will never be discovered. True talent wasn't a commodity as rare in Hollywood as many might think. Probably one of the cheapest and most common commodities, just one notch above looks. And looks really cost nothing.

And yet, in this case...

Normally it was the other way around. Actors playing real-life people their characters were based upon had to be way more attractive than the originals. Who would want to see a movie revolving around some dumpy overweight housewife with mousy hair? But if she looked like Sharon Stone or Jen Aniston...

And here he was sitting across the table from a real-life person who would grace any screen with her presence. There was an elusive quality about her which had nothing to do with her bra size or the shape of her nose. True, her looks were spectacular, but there was something extra. There seemed to be a bright golden light shining within her at all times. The warmth, the charisma, the radiance –

Has this ever been done? He would have to look into it.

He leaned over the table. "Look, Ms. Wood – May I call you Janet?"

"Why not? It's my name."

"Look, Janet, I know this is an unorthodox idea. Please hear me out. First, let me ask you a question: What are your plans for the rest of your life?"

4

"Oh Janet, this is so exciting! A whole movie just about you? It sounds like a fairy tale!"

"I don't know about that, Chrissy. I still haven't given them my answer."

"Why, what's stopping you?"

"Thought I'd talk to you first. Might get a useful insight or two."

"From me?" Chrissy burst out laughing and snorted. "Are you crazy? What do I know about stuff like that? You are so smart and still can't make up your mind, and you want my input?"

"Chrissy, everyone can have an opinion, and yours have helped me make my decisions more than once. I am not trying to hang it on you. It'll still be my responsibility to decide. Just tell me what you think."

"What I think... well... like I said, it's very exciting."

"So, you think I should go for it, then?"

"I don't see why not. Wouldn't that be a thrill! Did they say who was gonna play you? Some gorgeous movie star, I'm sure. Like Elizabeth Taylor."

"Honey, Liz Taylor is sixty years old. Unless it's a sci-fi thriller about time travel, I don't think so."

"She is?! Hmm, that's right, she must be. She's so beautiful I didn't even realize she was so old!"

"Actually..." All the while Janet hadn't been able to shake an impression there was something her friend was not telling her. She would have to circle back to that later. "They have a rather bizarre idea. I don't even think it's ever been done before. But they say no actress can portray me as well as... me."

"Oh no!" gasped Chrissy. "They want you to play yourself?! Well, I never!"

"Weird, eh? I can't even wrap my head around this."

"Weird? Sure, it's kind of funny. But then why not? Hey, that's even more exciting! You'll be learning how to be a real movie star! That's every girl's dream!"

"It's never been this girl's. Besides, I don't think they are gonna bother training me to act. It's a low-budget movie, so whichever way I act should probably be good enough. And frankly, I don't even think anybody's gonna watch this movie if it ever comes out."

"Too bad! I do hope they put a little effort into training you. I'm sure you'll pick it up in no time. But wait a minute!" Chrissy frowned. "You'll be only playing yourself! You won't even have to act! You'll just do whatever you normally do, same way you do it every day."

"So far, it only sounds more and more mind-numbingly boring!" laughed Janet. "Would you want to watch such a movie, Chrissy?"

"I wouldn't mind," said Chrissy defensively. "It won't be as boring as all that. I mean, if it were about my life, then sure. But your life is a whole other matter."

"Well, how is it a whole other matter? All I've ever done is work. My job, same as everybody else. Big whoop."

"They won't want to show you just working, Janet. That really can get old pretty fast. I think they also want to get some of your private life in there... you know, maybe Jack... that whole terrible thing..."

"Other than Jack dying at thirty-five, my private life has been absolutely bland. I never had any affairs. I barely had the time and energy to take a good look at Jack once in a while."

"So, then you'll just have to add some spice to it! How hard should it be to invent a date or two? And what can it hurt at this time?"

"That's pretty much what they are saying. But I am not gonna let them lie and slander me just to make their ridiculous movie more watchable. I am what I am. A businesswoman, not a whore."

"Who's talking about whores? And who doesn't have a little innocent scandal in their life? It's no big deal."

With every passing minute, Janet's feeling that her friend had more to say on the subject but hesitated and was stalling for time became stronger. She seemed troubled.

"Right, scandal," said Janet musingly. "They said they had tried to dig up scandal on me – and come up with nada. If that doesn't tell you how lame I am – " She heard Chrissy's sharp intake of breath. "What is it, honey? Talk to me."

"Oh Janet... I've been trying to tell you but I don't want to get you upset."

"Why should I be upset? What's up?"

"Did they tell you they had searched for scandal on you and couldn't find anything? Not a single thing?"

"That's what the guy said."

"Then they can't have been looking. Because it's not like we don't have any innocent scandal in both our lives, right? And it wasn't as hard to dig up as they make it out to be, either."

"Oh no!" Janet gasped in dismay as the realization dawned on her. "Chrissy, honey, are you saying they've approached you? Tried to pump you for information?"

Chrissy nodded, her cheeks flaming. "Sure did. Made me so mad, too. But why did they have to lie to you about it, I'd like to know?"

Janet shrugged, perplexed. "Maybe they wanted to catch me off guard. Who knows how those Hollywood suits think? Or maybe they decided it really wasn't such a big deal these days, after all. Times have changed. If it were happening now, nobody would lift an eyebrow."

"Is that what you think? They made it sound like it was the juiciest piece of gossip in history. I tried to tell them how innocent it had actually been, but they were just as uninterested in hearing that as those newsmongers back then."

"We did make quite a splash," snickered Janet. "A whole article on a young man and two girls sharing a two-bedroom in Santa Monica. Must've been a slow news day."

"That's right! Only you see, back then they couldn't just come out and say whatever they meant in so many words. It was a family paper, after all. All they could do was hint. But the hinting was bad enough. And now – Janet, they sat here for an hour trying to get me to admit "the truth"."

"I am so sorry, honey," murmured Janet.

"Well, it didn't kill me, right? It was just kind of – nasty, you know? Humiliating. And I mean, back then we were nobodies! Three small-town kids trying to survive in a big city. It really shouldn't have bothered anyone, except maybe our parents. But boy oh boy, everybody got so much excitement out of it! And I can just imagine what this could do to your reputation, now that you are in the public eye."

"My reputation? As of now, I am a private individual, so who cares? What about yours – a respectable church-going woman, wife and mother? And your parents, your dad a minister! You and your whole family would be ruined! Not to mention the disgrace to Jack's memory."

"Well, I guess it would be a bit of – okay, total disaster."

"How long were you gonna sit on this, Chrissy? This is the missing piece I was looking for! Before, I wasn't sure they meant to use this, but now I know. No, the price would be way too high. I am not doing this."

"Guess not. But it's also kind of too bad. Just think what an adventure it might've been."

"Adventure is right. Here, I've had the dullest private life for over a decade, and then it suddenly comes to light that I was involved in a ménage à trois for several years in my younger days."

"In a what of a what?"

"It's French for – er, three-way sex."

"Three-way sex?! We never did anything of the kind! In fact, Janet, you and I never did anything at all, right? I was holding out for marriage. And you – I think you just loved Jack but didn't trust him. And he loved you too, but with you and your ground rules, he didn't even know how to approach you. And then, when you two fools had finally figured it out, you went on to have a morganous relationship."

"Huh? Perhaps monogamous?"

"Oh boy, there I go again." Chrissy snorted. "I couldn't get rid of those people! They tried every trick in the book to get me to "open up" to them about whether – whether he was sleeping with both of us at the same time or took turns." She blushed and pressed her hands to her cheeks. "And with Dean and the boys in the house too, if you please!"

"By the way, how did you explain to your family what those people wanted?"

"The truth and nothing but the truth." Chrissy smiled. "As I knew it. That they were doing an article or a doc on you and interviewing everyone who used to know you."

"So, you sent them packing?"

"What do you think, Janet? After I had been trying to set them straight for an hour, I had to politely ask them to leave because I needed to start dinner for my husband and kids."

"Of course, if they stuck to the plain truth – that the three of us did room together, although without any hanky-panky, who would want to hear that? And the rest of my story without any embellishments is just as tedious. I never realized I was quite that lame!"

"You weren't lame, Janet. You just weren't fixing to be a porn star, either. You were working day and night doing an honest job, and you succeeded by being great at it, not by sleeping your way up to the top. Which is the kind of "truth" they are fishing for."

"He hinted they would have to spice it up by tacking on a few imaginary… erm, complications, but in a way that wouldn't mar my good name."

"Janet, look... If this is something you really wanted to do, then why not? We will all survive. Dean already knows, and so do my parents, and I know they trust me. I will explain to the boys. Can just imagine it going over big!" Snort, snort. "At least, it'll make their plain old mom a bit cooler in their eyes. The church, of course, and the neighbors, and the kids' friends at school... But the next day it'll be yesterday's news, and nobody will care. And since you'll be there while they are making the movie, you won't let them paint us all black, right? Why don't you go ahead with it?"

"No way. I was in two minds about it to begin with, and now I wouldn't touch it with a barge pole. Wanna know why I even considered it? For the first time in my life, I don't know what to do with myself or my time. I never had a free minute between ages eighteen and thirty-five, and now – now I feel at a loose end. And I don't seem to have any interest in anything – not enough to get me doing something about it. I was kind of hoping this may prove to be a new an exciting chapter for me, but not at such a price."

Chrissy sat looking down into her lap. Then she turned to Janet: "I don't think I've ever told you this... I am no end proud of you. Have always been. I could tell even all those years back that you would go on to make something great and wonderful of your life. And that I, on the other hand – the best I could hope for was this. Just what I have here. And even this wasn't as easy to achieve as somebody might think. All those terrible dates, all those Mr. Wrongs I had to deal with... B-r-r! But when I finally met Dean, we just clicked. And I've never once looked back."

"But Chrissy," protested Janet, "I am just as proud of you, and I have every reason to be! I might've been successful at what I had chosen to do. But I think you are quite a success story in your own right. You say this kind of life was the best you could hope for, as if it were some trifle. In my book, this "trifle" is what the world rests upon, and not shiny stores selling overpriced stuff nobody really needs." Her breath caught in her throat. "You know, that last morning in San Fran... we woke up, and he again started talking about getting married. And I still couldn't bring myself to take five minutes off that fucking rat race just to be happy with the man I loved! And that was... that was the last time I ever saw him alive."

Chrissy moved closer to Janet and put an arm around her. They sat quietly, holding each other.

"And later, after I got better and came back to LA..." Janet went on, "I thought, what was the point of all that? Had it been worth it? I tried to go back to work – and I just couldn't. Suddenly, I couldn't care less whether that whole corporation of mine would sink or swim."

"You don't mean that, honey," said Chrissy softly. "I know you too well."

"No, I guess I don't. I do care about the people who worked for me. But all the pomp and all the money? I hadn't even been in it for the money to begin with! It was the work that I found exciting because I was good at it, and the money just piled up. Now I have more of it than I am ever gonna need. And others have squat, although they deserve it as much as I do."

Chrissy stood up, walked over to the window and looked out onto her garden. Janet suddenly realized how much she was enjoying the sight of her old friend.

Chrissy's face and once slender body had filled out. It looked good on her. She even seemed taller, bigger – a mature, confident woman who had found her place and a way to be happy in a confusing and often unhappy world. Her complexion was glowing, bringing out the vivid blue of her eyes. Platinum blond hair, simply brushed out over her shoulders, was just as rich and luminous as years before.

When she spoke next, it was without a single note of whiny complaint or bitterness – just the mildest regret and innocent wonder about the road not taken.

"You know, Janet... I sometimes wish I could go out and get me a job. The boys are no longer babies or toddlers. And they are both pretty good helping around the house and with each other. It's not like I am needed here every single second. But what could I possibly do? I haven't had any schooling to speak of. That's why I am so stupid with all those big words. I remember you guys were always laughing at me, and I don't blame you. I must sound like an idiot when I do that."

"You are not an idiot and never were! Knowing big words doesn't make you smart."

"Maybe not, but it means you've gone to a half-decent school and got some education. And you do need smarts for that. And all I ever took was that second-rate secretarial course, simply because it seemed the best option for a girl to do back in those days. And it got me that job. But I never liked it too much or was even too good at it. And of course, by this time I don't remember a thing. What kind of job could I possibly get now? All I am good at is housework – cleaning, laundry, cooking... Well, cooking's great. I've grown to love it. Remember you and I were such a pair of klutzes in the kitchen when we first met Jack?"

Janet had to snicker. "And Jack was a klutz everywhere but the kitchen."

"Right. What about you? I bet you've learned to be a decent cook and love it, too?"

"Oh yes! Cooking's one of life's pleasures. How did you know?"

"I had a feeling... that that was the way we both honored his memory. As if this way he would always be with us. You know what I mean?"

"Very much so. And you are spot-on." Silence fell between them again – a companionable, melancholy silence.

"You were saying, Chrissy?"

"Yes. So, I clean my own house, and then I'll go out to clean other peoples'? How much could I earn, anyway? Pennies! Doesn't seem worth it. And we are doing just fine, Dean and I. We have all we need. But a second income couldn't hurt. If only for something extra."

"Of course."

"And it's not just the income. Once in a while I think it would be nice to be able to do something – something different than this. Maybe even learn something, too. It's not like I don't have any brains at all. But like I said, this doesn't bother me all that much. I only brought it up now because – well, because I was talking about how different you and I were."

"We are not all that different, Chrissy. And perhaps more alike in some ways than you know."

"I never really gave this any thought back when I was young. I had always known I wanted to get married, take care of my husband, raise our kids and keep house – and that's it. And now I look at my two boys... You know, all many guys want out of life is to slave in some minimum-wage job during the day and sit in a pub every night. But these two are gonna want more! I can tell already. Don't ask me where they get it. From Dean, I know. They've got my hair color and his brains. And ambition. Both want to go to college, can you imagine? Once in a while, they give me a hard time when I make a mess of some big word: "Hey, Mom, didn't you go to grammar school? How come they never taught you how to talk?" The smartasses. Not with Dean around, of course. He won't have them disrespecting me. But they are great kids, really. I know they are good at heart. And you know what, Janet? We are gonna do it! I am not holding my kids back."

"But Chrissy! Can you afford to send them both to college?"

"I told you, we are doing fine. We even manage to put a little something aside almost every month. And we are not there yet! Dean and I have been looking into colleges, but there's still years until then. I am sure we'll swing it somehow. And it would be no surprise to anyone if they both got scholarships." Her eyes danced. "Just imagine me ending up with two college graduates for kids! Wouldn't that be a kick in the head?"

Janet walked over to Chrissy and, standing next to her by the window, leaned her head against her friend's shoulder.

"See what I mean?" she said softly. "You think I am the one who's done something remarkable with my life. Sure, not every person has a good head for business like me. Even Jack didn't. I am not saying just anybody could've done the same. And that's fine, because there's no need to!"

"Nah, Janet. Thanks, I appreciate what you are trying to do but you can't compare – "

"That's right, you can't! And you shouldn't! You are a loving and supportive mother and a devoted wife. And a very good daughter, too – I happen to have that on Reverend Snow's authority. You have no domestic help, yet your house is always shining top to bottom, your garden's a thing of beauty, your cooking's almost worthy of Jack, and – and – "

Chrissy was looking at her with a mildly ironic smile. "Run out of praise so soon? Come on, Janet, don't lay it on with a trowel. Here, you've got me all embarrassed." Her face was glowing with joy and pride.

"I said it before and I'm gonna say it again. A good marriage, happy family, smart kids raised the right way – you may think these are all trifles. But I am wondering if you might not be the one who has created something amazing and very important here. Overpriced tchotchkes are the real trifles."

"Why, Janet! I still remember that big article – no, not that piece of filth on the three of us but the one on you from just a few years ago." Chrissy mimed unfolding a newspaper with both hands and recited in a formal-sounding voice: "For the past five years, she has been bringing beauty and joy into the lives and homes of Southern Californians." Beauty and joy, no less! Are you saying those are tchotchkes, whatever that means?"

"Oh, the poor Southern Californians! What would they do for beauty or joy without me? They would have none at all!"

"Janet, come on! Just think how much more dreary and drab everything would look without your "tchotchkes". I never organize an event or a party without ordering some. Everybody loves flowers! Even when I am at my saddest, I can't look at one without smiling. Must've caught it from you all those years ago," Chrissy finished with mock gruffness, giving Janet a light punch.

"Are you saying you order my stuff for all your events? I didn't know!"

"Janet, what do you really know about anything? My best friend's in flower trade, and I would go someplace else for flowers? Of course I order yours! Where else would I have gotten all those gorgeous flowers for Dean's fortieth birthday, and Daddy's retirement party, and the kids' school events, and – "

"Why not over there?" Janet pointed to the garden right outside the window, where a boisterous symphony of color was being performed by proud-looking gladioli, cheerful phloxes, robust peonies, imposing dahlias, dainty violets and other beauties, surrounded by a border of small delicate carnations. "Right where you planted them and tended to them with your own two hands? Still think you wouldn't have survived without all those fancy-pants arrangements?"

"But Janet, those are just your regular garden flowers. Lots of people around here grow them. Nothing like your – your – " She snort-laughed. "Oh no! I can never remember any of those fancy-pants names, so I better not try! I'll just screw them up and make a fool of myself, as usual."

5

She parked the car in one of the most glamorous areas of Beverly Hills and strolled down the street.

Her whole life, whenever she had a hard question to crack or confusion to dispel, a walk had always helped center her, let her focus and see clearer. Brisk or leisurely, it had always been her chosen method of problem solving. It had worked in most cases.

No, nothing about money was fair. Or made sense.

Amassing her fortune seemed to have been easier than disposing of it in any satisfactory way. Maybe "easier" was not the right word, since it had taken many years of back-breaking work, but at least more straightforward.

Finding recipients in vital need of help was going to be no problem. You just had to turn on the TV. There seemed to be nothing happening around the world other than natural disasters, local warfare, acts of terrorism, famine, homelessness, poverty… Take your pick. It would all be gone before she had a chance to say "worthy cause".

She knew that was the best way to go. And yet, was it fair that her hard-earned money, while helping strangers in strange lands, couldn't do squat for those who were known and dear to her?

Chrissy, with that sweet, contented smile and unassuming manner, her overly optimistic assurance that putting two kids through college on Dean's modest salary was within their means. Had it been anybody else, Janet might have questioned her timing and ingenuousness. But she could swear on her own life that her friend's thoughts couldn't have been further away from throwing out hints or trying to wheedle anything out of her.

Setting up a trust fund for Chrissy or her kids would make all the difference for them. Those two cute tow-headed, sharp-eyed youths could go to college, where they clearly belonged. Perhaps even Chrissy herself could ease her burden of never-ending drudgery and get some leisure time while she was still young enough to enjoy it. Or even go back to school, take a course in a subject which interested her, pick up a hobby…

But what if… what if the unexpected windfall messed up this sweet, simple family in ways she couldn't predict? What if it upset their dynamic? Or even strained Chrissy and Janet's friendship? Gratitude was one of the most awkward emotions, both to offer and to accept. And gratitude inherited from a previous generation was even worse. She could, of course, maintain complete anonymity. But Chrissy, despite the "dumb blonde" image of her younger days, certainly wasn't too dumb to figure out the identity of her nameless benefactor.

Her own parents, mostly her father. She could never quite understand why he had such a big problem with her choices, her lifestyle and her career. He still, after all these years, couldn't let go of his threadbare maxim that back in his days "girls married rich businessmen, they didn't become them". A few years back, his medical bills had been piling up all the way up to the ceiling, but if not for her mother's firm talking-to, he might have declined to accept a penny from her even in this desperate situation.

Wasn't it the sacred duty of adult kids to help their aging parents? Obviously, it wasn't the parents' to accept that help. The man was stubborn as a mule. Not to say pig-headed. She ought to know. That was where she got it from.

As for getting her parents out of that cozy, shabby old house in the suburbs into a grander residence, perhaps a modern condo, with less housework, no yardwork and fewer headaches, she knew that could only be a suicide mission.

And what about Greg? It was painful to watch him struggle. A hard worker like her, sound professional and shrewd businessman, he found the very idea that he might need help mortifying. Thankfully, Francine, his ex-wife, was a real sweetheart and never gave him any trouble for late payments. But as a proud and thoroughly decent man, he couldn't bear the thought that he was letting somebody down.

But what if she offered to bail him out? Janet's mind even refused to go there. Suggesting that he pay his ex-wife's spousal support with his girlfriend's money was a recipe for disaster.

Perhaps if they got married... Surely, sharing his wife's property shouldn't be such an affront to him? No. That could only lead to bigger issues down the road. Especially since, fond as she was of Greg, she still wasn't absolutely sure he was the right man for her to spend the rest of her life with.

How many other people did she know, those she would dearly love to benefit from her bounty without expecting anything in return? And why did it feel so hopeless?

6

A woman stepped out of a store right ahead of Janet. They came face to face – and both abruptly stopped and froze.

The woman was not just Janet's type. She was Janet. Around six or seven years more mature, if one could extrapolate their own older look. The same small height. The same built – petite yet tantalizingly shapely. The dark hair, worn in a shorter style than Janet's current shoulder length but just as rich and glossy. The wide, deep eyes, dark as coals and lustrous as diamonds. The features as exquisite and delicate as if crafted by the hand of a divine jeweller. The face which seemed to radiate light and warmth…

This was the first time ever that Janet was assessing her own looks in this way. She knew the effect she produced on everyone she met, heard the unreserved compliments heaped upon her from all parts, but had always been too humble and down-to-earth for vanity or pride in her looks. It wasn't like she could take credit for them. They had just been handed down to her.

But wait a minute! She was not gaping at herself in a mirror! She was staring at a perfect stranger. Who, inexplicably, seemed to be a slightly older version of her. And who was staring back with the same bewildered fascination…

"Who are you?" said both in unison.

May 3, 2023

To the incomparable Miss Joyce DeWitt. Wherever she is.