Author's Note: Mentions of Substance Abuse
"You bloody prat!"
Draco looked up from his paper just in time to see Becky storm into his study. He'd have made a run for it if he'd had the ability. Instead, he had no choice but to stay on the couch he was on and put up his hands in surrender. "I'm so sorry, Becky. I had no idea she'd react like that."
"You didn't know?" she yelled. "You tortured her!"
"I never tortured her," he disputed, but Becky just crossed her arms and raised an eyebrow incredulously. "Ok, so I bullied her a few times." The girl stomped her foot. "Alright I did it frequently." With one more stomp, he relented. "Ok, I bullied her constantly for six years," he said in defeat.
Becky looked at him in utter disappointment. "Oh Draco, how could you?" she asked.
"Hey, it's not like I was proud of myself for doing it," he said defensively.
"Really?" the girl threw back at him.
Draco visibly deflated; his indignation gone. "Well I'm not now," he confessed.
"Oh, Draco," Becky repeated sadly as she moved to sit next to him.
"I really am sorry, Becks. I know how much you wanted today to go well. I didn't mean to mess it up," he said sincerely.
The girl just shrugged. "And the torture," she asked.
Draco took a deep breath and blew it out slowly. "It happened during the war," he started. "She and her friends got captured and were brought to the manor instead of the Ministry like they should have been. Anyway, my aunt was the one to torture her, and I…watched."
"Why?" Becky whispered.
Draco let his head fall against the back of the couch and stared at the ceiling. "Why what, Becks? Why was she tortured, or why did I just watch?"
Becky frowned. "Both, I think."
The wizard sighed. "She was tortured because my aunt thought she stole something from her. Which she didn't. I just stood there because I was a coward. I was too afraid for myself and my mother. I was afraid of my aunt, the snatchers, Greyback, the Dark Lord, and even my fucking father. I was bloody petrified," he said with a sneer.
"I would have been afraid, too," the girl said softly.
"Of course, you would have. You're a kid. It's normal."
"So were you," she countered.
Draco laughed bitterly. "Hardly. No more than Granger was. No more than any of us in that fucking war."
They sat in silence for a while. Becky had no idea what to say, and Draco didn't wish to speak any more on the subject.
"She asked me to call her by her first name," the girl commented.
The wizard looked over and smiled. "That's real good, Becks. Only her friends call her by her first name. She must really like you."
Rebecca beamed. "She's really nice, like you said. And she figured out the chair so fast. She learned it real quick, like you said," she gushed, bouncing slightly in her seat.
The young man laughed at her excitement. He was glad he hadn't ruined things for her. "I'm surprised none of her friends came along. I figured she would have been surrounded by a gaggle of red heads."
The girl's face darkened. "Mungo's told her she had to come alone and couldn't have visitors for six months."
"Well, that's thestral shit," The wizard replied.
"I know!" Becky exclaimed. "And they told her she had to use muggle transportation to get here. She took the train. And did you see that monstrosity they sent her in? She's a war hero! They should have treated her better," she said firmly.
Draco sighed. "Granger isn't one to let things lie when she sees something unfair or unjust. I'm sure she saw a lot of that after the war, and I'm sure she wasn't silent about it and stepped on a lot of toes," he explained.
"Well then, she came to the right place," the girl said.
The wizard smiled again. "That she did. Do you want to stay for supper," he asked hopefully.
"Sorry," she replied. "I promised Stacy that I'd eat with her and her friends in the cafeteria tonight. I could see if she's okay with me eating here," she offered.
"No, I'm not going to disappoint Stacy. Maybe you can both visit later this week, and she can pick what we have."
Becky grinned. "You certainly know how to bribe her," she laughed.
"Hey, none of that. She's a growing girl. Now, off you go, you're going to be late if you don't hurry." The girl stuck her tongue out at the man, but obeyed. She gave him a quick kiss on the cheek and hurried off.
Draco wondered when he had become the responsible adult in this relationship. He couldn't say he was displeased though. When he'd gotten here, he'd been despondent and suicidal. In the very moment he thought he was actually going to get everything he ever wanted, he'd lost it all. His health, standing, love, freedom, everything he longed for, all gone in one moment.
Finding the girls here had been a miracle. No, he wasn't surprised to find the discarded children of the upper class. Every family had their secrets and tragedies. I guess he could count himself among them now. What had surprised him was how quickly they had accepted him as family. How open they were to including him in their lives.
He figured that they too had felt alone and longed for connection, but he still couldn't imagine that they would be getting more out of it than him. He never had a sibling but always wanted one. Now he basically had two little sisters. It made living here a little less lonely, a little less bleak.
His thoughts turned to Granger. He did hope she was getting on well, and that he hadn't upset her too badly. He should have asked Becky before she left. Well, there was nothing for it now, he supposed. He would have the opportunity to apologize eventually. They lived in the same building after all.
Merlin, today had been exhausting, he thought as he let his head fall back once more. Seeing Granger again had affected him more than he'd anticipated. It had brought him right back to that day, listening to her screams and the smell of blood. It hadn't been the first such scene he'd been witness to or even the worse, but it was the one that tormented him most.
It had been jarring to see someone he knew, someone that he'd gone to school with, practically grew up with, in front of him. Fuck, those three were supposed to save everybody, and they bloody got themselves caught. He was barely coping as it is and suddenly before him, he finds his schoolyard nemesis, his rival in everything, and the ass he loved to harass. It wasn't until that moment that he realized he didn't want them dead. He never had, not with any of them. He'd wanted to humiliate them, sure. He wanted to prove them wrong, that he was better than all three, but he didn't want them fucking dead.
He closed his eyes tight willing the memories away. It was too late in the day to go down that path, he decided. He had no interest in supper now. He maneuvered himself into his wheelchair, went to the liquor cabinet for a bottle of firewhiskey and wheeled himself to bed.
*D*D*D*D*D*D*D*D*D*D*
Draco woke with a lingering impression of sandy brown hair, soft kisses and sunshine that was instantly dashed away by the pounding in his head. He was grateful for the hangover potion on his nightstand. The alcohol had done its job though and kept his nightmares at bay. Although it did little to suppress his memories that often haunted him more. It had been a rough few days. Alcohol was a poor substitute for dreamless sleep, but that was no longer an option for him.
He'd been shamefully addicted by the time he'd been dumped here. It was a habit that he picked up during the war. How else was he supposed to sleep with his home infested with death eaters and the Dark Lord. The shit he saw…. He thought with a shudder. The shit you did, echoed back from a place he had absolutely no desire to explore.
Draco sighed. It was way too early to think of that shit without a drink, and he was trying to stop day drinking. It had taken almost the entirety of the six months he'd been here to break the habit of dreamless sleep and recover from the damage that it had done to his body, especially after the attack. He slept for days, when he could get away with it.
When he got here, his healers refused to provide it for him regardless of how much he begged or offered. They told him he'd be dead within the year if he continued. He hadn't given a shit at the time. He'd told them that was much too slow and did they have anything to kill him faster. That's how he'd ended up on suicide watch for six miserable weeks.
It was shortly afterwards that he met the girls. Becky had been assigned as his non-medical caretaker. He hadn't been pleased to see the overeager little nit, but she was persistent. Apparently, she'd volunteered for the position once she realized their relation. He hadn't been kind to her during the worst of his withdraw but came to enjoy her company. Over those first weeks, he came to know her and truly care for the girl.
Then he met Stacy, and it was over. He'd been nervous to meet her. Filch was the only other squib that he'd ever known, and he seemed a bit…..touched. He needn't have worried though. The child was delightful and as brilliant as her older sister. While Becky was driven and focused on her future, Stacy cared only for today and was enjoying her childhood. They both could giggle endlessly, and both desperately craved a family.
Being practical children, they endeavored to correct that by adopting him and creating their own. They laid out all the points in support of their plan. One, they were related, so they were already technically family. Two, they were half grown so there would be no nappies, and they could feed and wash themselves. Three, they didn't live with him, so they'd not be in his way. Then Four, Becky had a real job now, and so, they didn't even need money from him.
Draco had to stifle a laugh on that last one. He knew how much the kid made. While it was a fair wage for a fifteen-year-old, it was less than pocket change next to the monthly allowance he received. His parents were apparently assuaging their guilt with galleons, and he was more than happy to take advantage of it.
The girls had looked timidly hopeful as he pretended to weigh his options. He was no fool, though. He was well aware that he was, by far, getting the better end of this deal. Realistically though, how could he turn down such an offer. Especially after his parents dumped him here and left. Of course, he accepted, and they joyfully added him to their little family.
He realized then, that he had to get serious about getting clean. People depended on him now, and quite frankly, he didn't want to disappoint the girls. He put effort into his physical therapy. He took his potions. He watched what he ate, even if he drank a bit more now.
Of course, his healers weren't happy with that, but he really didn't care. He told them in no uncertain terms, that he refused to give up all his vices and he refused to continue suffering without a way to cope. They relented and he worked to stop day drinking, and he didn't drink around the kids. It was a restless truce, but a truce none the less, and begrudgingly, they supplied him with hangover and headache potions.
Draco shook his head. His limbs felt heavy today. He didn't know if it was a biproduct of his drinking or foolishly overtaxing himself a few days ago, grandstanding for Granger. Well, whatever the reason, he needed to get out of bed and start the day.
*D*D*D*D*D*D*D*D*
Draco drove his outdoor chair through the gardens towards his favorite spot by the lake. He was hoping some fresh air would lift his weariness. And if it didn't, he still intended to spend the day outdoors. The weather was beautiful, warm with a cool breeze. Nothing would entice him back inside today.
He left the path and maneuvered through the trees with practiced ease until he reached his destination. Though, to his surprise, it was already occupied by a certain frizzy haired witch. He tried to reverse and leave before she saw him, but there was no real stealth in these contraptions.
Granger whipped her head around and reached for a wand that wasn't there. That would never be there again. Draco put his hands up. "Sorry, I didn't mean to scare you. I didn't think anyone would be here," he explained immediately.
The witch eyed him suspiciously but said nothing. When he realized that he was apparently not getting a response, he added, "Uh, l'll just go then." Fuck, there went his plans for the day. The gardens were already crowded with other residents enjoying the weather, he had no interest in spending the day with the old biddies in the library or with the nosy old coots in the sun room. He supposed it was back to his flat once more.
As he was turning to leave, the witch finally spoke. "Wait, what's that?" she asked.
The wizard craned neck his to see what she was pointing at behind him. "Oh, I had a basket packed so I could eat out here today," he answered. "Would you like some?" he offered.
The woman bit her lip. Interpreting that as trepidation to his presence, Draco quickly amended, "I'm sorry. I don't know what I was thinking." He reached behind him were the basket was stowed and handed it out to her. "Here, you can have it. I'll just leave."
Granger looked startled and confused as she looked down at her bounty. "We could share," she said so quietly he barely heard her.
"What?" That didn't sound right, surely he heard her wrong.
Hermione looked up at Malfoy and repeated, "We could share. We obviously came here for the same reason. There's plenty of room."
A part of him, a large part at that, wanted to refuse her offer. This is someone he hurt and hurt badly. He knew it was cowardly, but he sincerely wanted nothing more than to run. There were a few small parts that encouraged him to accept. Parts that sounded lot like Becky and a sandy haired boy which told him to take a chance, make a friend, let yourself be happy.
"Uh, yeah, sure" he answered. "There's uh, plenty of food as well. More than enough to share."
"Then it's settled." she said firmly, and the young man nodded. "Splendid because I'm starving," she confessed.
Draco finally approached, moving his chair forward then turning it so that he was right next to and facing the witch's chair.
"What are you doing," she asked nervously.
"Uh, I think it would be easier to show you. Just move your chair to face mine," he directed.
After a moment of trepidation, the witch did as requested. Draco reached over and opened the basket, taking out a large picnic blanket. He tossed it, and it unfolded midair and gently glided to the ground. "Impressive," Hermione commented.
Draco gave a nervous laugh and pulled something else out of the baskets. "Here, put this over your wheel facing the blanket." She grabbed the strange fabric wheel cover, placed it and looked over to the wizard expectantly. He slipped from his chair carefully and situated himself onto the blanket with his back to the covered wheel.
He looked back at the witch and realized, that he didn't know her physical condition at the moment. "Oh, sorry, are you able to get out of your chair on your own?" he asked. "I can help or we can call someone?"
The witch shook her head. "I think I can handle it, Malfoy," she said rolling her eyes. She stood and braced herself on both chairs. Having a little trouble turning, she finally relented and used Draco's shoulder as she leveraged herself to the ground. "Oh!" she exclaimed as she sat.
"I know," Draco replied. "I was surprised too. The people here are amazingly clever. Built in cushioning charms," he explained. "Try sitting back against the wheel," he suggested.
Hermione leaned back and relaxed with a sigh. "I can't believe how comfortable this is."
"These blankets just came out about two months ago. They have an impervious on both sides, with extra strong cushioning spells on the top and charms to regulate its own temperature based on ambient conditions," he recited.
"Impressive, Malfoy," the witch replied. Then added with a little chuckle, "You just sounded like you were rattling off Quidditch stats."
Draco considered momentarily whether to be insulted or not, before realizing by the look on the woman's face, that no insult was intended. She too seemed worried that she'd inadvertently offended him. Well, that wouldn't do. They were neighbors now. There old lives were over and done. He needed to move on. All that really mattered is what happened from here forward. And so he based his response on what he wanted for the future.
"Well, you see, Granger, given my current circumstances, I've traded broomsticks for picnic blankets," he said haughtily. "I've become quite the connoisseur."
Hermione laughed, and he joined in. It felt so good to laugh, and he'd always treasured those who could make him genuinely laugh. His godfather had had a wicked wit, Becky was cheeky, Stacy was full of playful sass, and of course, Theo. He'd had such a keen observation and could turn any situation into comedy. Oh Theo. His Theo.
The woman spoke, startling him out of his wonderings. "In that case, your taste is impeccable," she said between giggles.
"Thank you," he said with a nod of his head. "They were actually designed here. Old Lizzy is big on research and development."
"Really?" she asked. "Becky mentioned as much my first day. Wait, old Lizzy? Surely, Healer Werner doesn't allow that?" she exclaimed horrified.
Draco laughed. "No, she would not and that is why she will never hear me say it, and you'll never rat me out."
The witch crossed her arms. "Oh really?" she challenged.
"Really," he repeated with a grin.
"How's that?" she shot back.
"Because," he replied calmly. "Iam graciously allowing you access to this state-of-the-art blanket," he grandly swept his arm to showcase where they were seated. "This gourmet meal, fit for royalty, and providing you with my remarkable charm and wit," he finished with a seated bow.
Hermione threw her head back and laughed once more. Tears were in her eyes when she finally caught her breath enough to reply. "You make a convincing point. Your secret is safe, for now," she hedged.
The man chuckled, "Remind me to keep bribing you."
The witch lifted the lid and peaked into the basket. "So, what do you have. I'm famished,"
"Good thing I planned to be here all day," he replied. "We'll start with breakfast." He swatted her hands away and rifled through the basket. He brought out two trays and handed one to her. "Just hold it at a comfortable table height and push the button on the right side."
Pushing it, Hermione saw table legs come down from both sides of the tray to form a small, stable table. "Clever," she remarked. "But why doesn't it just float?"
Draco was already pulling out dishes. "Because we would wear them down pretty quickly, and they'd fall. This allows the magic to be used sparingly and only when needed. It's kind of like how our chairs work. They focus on an efficient use of magic that can be easily and quickly recharged. That way we get the benefits of magic without inconveniently depleting it."
"I had no idea such innovative work was being done. Especially here," she said. "Why have I never heard of this. I've been looking into my condition for over a year and never came across anything like this," she exclaimed crossly.
"Probably because much of this is seen as novelty work. Kind of like that Weasley joke shop. It's not considered medical research," Draco replied with a shrug. "That and a lot of this is so new it hasn't gone to market yet. They are used here first so the residents can give feedback. Actually, those are my idea," he said casually pointing back to the cushioned wheel covers.
"That's impressive," Hermione said as she leaned into her cushion just a bit further.
The wizard laughed dismissively. "Hardly, it was just an idea," he said as he set plates and utensils on their trays.
"Bloody brilliant idea," Hermione replied as she eagerly watched him pull out their breakfast. Soon an array of pastries and fresh fruit was presented along with butter and jam.
He held up a thermos. "Tea?" he offered. She nodded, and he poured them both a cup.
"Do you always pack this much food," the witch asked as she buttered a croissant.
"I do now," he replied. "Someone let slip about my fondness for picnics and how good they were," he explained rolling his eyes. "And I quickly became a tourist attraction of sorts. It didn't take long to learn to order extra food. Apparently, our chef is quite popular."
"Is the food that bad here," she asked with a frown setting down her pastry. "I'll not be eating well, while everyone else gets substandard food,"
"Don't get your knickers in a twist, Granger. The food here is good, great even. They aren't starving anyone," he said with a grin. "Chef Raul and his team are just exceptional," he said haughtily, then added, "and he's happy to make extras for me to hand out to anyone throughout the day. You'd think I was his errand boy," he pouted.
The witch laughed. "It certainly sounds like you are."
They finished their meal in companionable silence.
"Merlin, it's beautiful here," she said as she gazed out at the lake, there plates and trays cleared and set aside. "I wasn't expecting that," she added quietly.
"Yeah, that took me off guard, too," he confessed.
"It's lonelier too. I was never alone at Mungo's. There were always staff nearby or friends visiting and now…..nothing," she whispered, a tear falling down her cheek. She took a deep breath and dashed the tear away with the back of her hand. She gave a shaky laugh and blushed as she said, "I don't know why I just said that."
Draco shifted uncomfortably, not quite sure how to approach the situation, before deciding to just be honest. "Yeah, it was weird for me too. I'd never been on my own before. There had always been someone there to take care of my problems, but my parents aren't here, my friends, even house elves. I basically set my own schedule, and I now have to fill twenty-four hours every day. Sleep can only get you so far. Not everything is easy, yet it isn't particularly hard most days, but what it almost always seems to be is lonely," he said sympathetically. "It's normal to want to talk to someone. Even if you don't know them very well or if they were a prat that bullied you for six years. It's normal, and it is completely okay to cry."
The witch's tears started to fall in earnest then. Draco scooted over and put an arm around her shoulder. Granger leaned in and so he held her a little closer. She cried for a long while before her sobbing finally abated.
Shyly she pulled back. "Sorry," she whispered.
The wizard handed her a handkerchief and said, "No need to apologize, Granger. I'm happy to help."
"When did you get so wise, Malfoy," she asked as she wiped her eyes.
Draco laughed. "I'm not. It's what Becky told me when I got here. Although, I was smart enough to remember it," he replied with a cheeky grin.
A surprised laugh erupted from the woman which he found made him happy. "Speaking of Becky," he said carefully. "She didn't have anything to do with me being there when you arrived. She's a good kid and really looked forward to meeting you. She said you wouldn't let her visit."
Hermione sighed. "I'm not angry at her. I just haven't wanted to see anyone since I arrived. I've just been trying to rap my head around being here and what that means."
"Have you been eating," he asked, concerned. She did look a little thin, but that could also be the depletion.
"Yes," she replied defensively, then added. "Mostly. It just seems like a lot right now."
"That's understandable. I could help, if you want," he offered nervously, unsure if he was stepping over any boundaries.
"How?" she whispered.
"Uh, I could order meals for you until you're ready to take over. I could get you picnic baskets or fetch books from the library or keep you company when you need to just not be alone." He shrugged, not exactly sure what he was offering himself.
Hermione sat silent for several minutes, and Draco knew enough to let her think. "I, I think I could use maybe a little help for maybe a week," she responded quietly. "Someone not being paid to tend to me. Just until I'm able to do it myself, of course"
"Of course," he parroted.
"So, how is this supposed to work?" she asked.
"I'm not sure but let's start with today. I planned to be here all day. No one else really comes here, except my little cousins. I brought enough food to last the day. I say we stay here and enjoy the weather. Once school lets out, there will be little boats on the water. They are always fun to watch. Then at dusk, the lake lights up with the setting sun. It's beautiful," he said wistfully.
"That sounds lovely," Hermione said.
"Then it's settled," he responded with a cheeky grin.