Intro
The endless beeping keeps me from
Actual sleep is the same sleep my body craves but never fully gets. The beeping although slowing and taking longer to sound has been my constant annoying partner these last few weeks. It almost begins to make me morn not hearing it anymore. Although my body is dying, I can still process this, my brain is still working fine enough so I know that my heartbeats are numbered, and I will finally rest and end this journey. Having a critical illness is already a journey but beating it once and then it comes back begins to feel a little like karma.
What did I do for karma? I have no idea.
Besides the beeping, my room is completely quiet, not even any hospital staff are here. Not to mention family, I have none, well none worth mentioning, and due to that no friends or even acquaintances. I never really trusted anyone enough for any sort of relationship to develop.
So, this is how I die, alone and with a machine that won't shut up but at the same time as soon as it does it means I'm gone.
A full shudder racks my body and my breathing hitches. Almost, it's almost over. So, I pray, I ask for a safe journey to the other side, for there to be something worth it waiting for me. because there is no way that this life I lived was it. Nothing was worth it here, just pain, fear, and disappointment. I pray that others who suffered as I did get to see the light and aren't just covered in darkness. Anyone who dreams of more receives a glimpse because I think if I got some form of light in my dark world it would have changed many things.
I feel the life start to drain from me, my thoughts don't make sense. The beeping finally stopped, and a loud ring began to off.
At the end of it all, the darkness became a comfort that was calling me.