Chapter 1: The Fight
Tuesday
*the "episode" begins in the cafeteria at Royal Woods Middle School where all sixth graders, all seventh graders, and all eighth graders are having lunch*
*intercom comes on*
(ding, ding, ding, dong!)
Principal Ramirez (on intercom): Hello, students. If I could have your attention...
*at the principal's office*
Mr. Bolhofner: What? Give me that. *snatches the intercom mic from her*
*back at the cafeteria*
Mr. Bolhofner (on intercom): (clears his throat) Attention, students! We are in desperate need of volunteers for the school dance on Friday night! I am not going to do this whole thing myself! The dance is not for me! It's for the students! So we need student volunteers! Sign-ups are in the principal's office!
*intercom turns off*
Lincoln (to Cookie QT, Mollie QT, and Brownie QT): Well, I would love to sign up all of you lovely girls up for volunteering at the dance.
(Cookie QT, Mollie QT, and Brownie QT giggle)
Clyde: *walks up to Emma* Hi, Emma. Wanna trade?
Emma: Oh, hey, Clyde. *realizes what Clyde said* Wait, what?
Clyde: I know we both met in fifth grade. But I'll trade you my sandwich for your cookie. Or your sandwich. And anything, really.
Emma: Clyde, we are still friends from when we met. And also, not to be totally rude, but nobody, and I mean, nobody wants your weird, totally healthy food. *reaches for his banana*
Clyde: Hey, don't touch that!
Emma: That's what you get for asking for someone else's food. *picks up his banana* Like, what even is this?
Clyde: A banana?
Emma: Gross. *puts his banana down*
Chandler (to Girl Jordan): Hey, Girl Jordan! You going to the dance?
Girl Jordan: Yes.
Chandler (to Girl Jordan): If I give you a cookie, will you go with me?
Girl Jordan (to Chandler): Yes, sure thing!
*Clyde walks up to a lunch table where Byron and Stella are sitting*
Byron: We've been over this, Clyde. I'm not sharing with you.
Clyde: A-hem.
Byron: Oh. I'm sharing with you, weirdo.
Clyde (to Byron): There you go. *before he walks away, he looks at Stella's lunch*
Stella: (sighs) Uh, here, Clyde. Since we're friends, just take it.
Clyde (to Stella): Thanks, Stella!
Stella: (laughs) *makes excited eyes as she laughs* You're welcome, Clyde!
*Chandler takes the cookie from Clyde*
Clyde: Hey, Chandler! Give that back!
Chandler: Hey, Girl Jordan! *Lincoln takes the cookie from him*
Lincoln: Not yours!
Chandler: Hey!
Zach: Ooh, it's gonna be a fight!
Zach, Rusty, Clyde, and Stella in unison: Fight! Fight! Fight!
Liam: What in tarnation? No fighting! *climbs and stands onto the table he's sitting at* *makes arm gestures* Talk it out! Talk it out! Talk it out!
Lincoln (to Clyde): Clyde, here! Eat it before he gets it! *throws the cookie to Clyde*
*cookie is thrown to Clyde and it hits him in the forehead and then he catches it*
(Clyde eats the cookie)
(crunch, crunch, crunch!)
(gulps)
*Clyde swallows the cookie*
Chandler: Oh, you're so gonna pay for that, Lincoln Lame!
*Lincoln runs from Chandler*
*Chandler then gives chase*
Clyde (to Zach, Rusty, Liam, and Stella): Come on, guys! Let's see the fight!
Zach, Rusty, Liam, and Stella in unison: Okay.
(music starts)
*Lincoln slides under three lunch tables*
*Chandler then runs on top of those same three lunch tables that Lincoln slid under*
Luna (singing in narration): Messing up because I wanna start again. We've got a situation here.
*Lincoln then runs outside the cafeteria and then Chandler runs into a male student, making him drop his lunch and continues to chase Lincoln and follows him*
Luna (singing in narration): Because these things are getting pretty weird.
*Lincoln runs outside on the backside of the school and climbs up a tree*
*Chandler throws a soccer ball at Lincoln, hitting Lincoln and making him fall into a trash can*
Lincoln (quietly): I'm okay!
*Lincoln gets out of the trash can and gets the trash off of him*
Luna (singing in narration): We've gotta find a better ground.
*Lincoln climbs through a window that leads to Principal Ramirez's office that she's not in at the moment and then closes the window and quickly locks it before Chandler can get in*
*Lincoln then runs out of Ramirez's office and into the secretary's office and runs past Meryl Farrell and bumps into her a little bit and runs out of the secretary's office*
Luna (singing in narration): A one! A two! A one, two, three, four! Shave that dance, shave that dance for me!
*Lincoln is running in a hallway with lockers*
*Chandler still chases Lincoln, followed by Clyde, Zach, Rusty, Liam, and Stella*
Luna (singing in narration): Shave that dance, shave that dance for me! (6x) Shave that dance...
*Lincoln hides in a locker*
Luna (singing in narration): Shave that dance for me!
*Chandler runs up to the lockers and opens three of them brutally without damaging them with his left fist and when he opens the fourth one, Lincoln jumps out and clings onto Chandler for a few seconds and gets off of him and continues to run from him*
Luna (singing in narration): Shave that dance for me!
*Lincoln and Chandler take a right turn, followed by Clyde, Zach, Rusty, Liam, and Stella*
Lincoln and Chandler in unison: Uh-oh!
*Lincoln and Chandler run past Mr. Bolhofner, causing him to stop Lincoln and Chandler's chase grabbing them both by the back of their shirts with his right hand*
(music ends)
Clyde, Zach, Rusty, Liam, and Stella in unison: Oh, no.
Mr. Bolhofner: That's it! Everyone, stop! (inhales deeply and blows his whistle that he's holding in his left hand very hard)
(TWEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEET!)
Mr Bolhofner: Everyone!
*Clyde, Zach, Rusty, Liam, and Stella stop walking and look behind them while balancing on all of their left legs while their right legs are in midair as they try walk away*
(four end notes and Luna imitates them as they play at the same time)
*Mr. Bolhofner makes a mad face*