We humans are odd creatures, aren't we? We constantly look forward to the future, hoping for better days, but never seem to appreciate what we have right in front of us. Then, as the years fly by, we start to look back on the past we once rejected with nostalgic eyes, forgetting the rougher parts around the edges.

We always want what we can't have. Perhaps that's just part of the curse of being a human being.

Sometimes, though, in a rare moment of presence, we manage to catch a glimpse of how precious the present really is - before that moment becomes a memory. Days like those are the ones that live on forever, shining brightly like a beacon in our hearts.

Why am I waxing philosophical like this, you ask? That isn't how you begin a story, right?

Well, this story is about one of those unforgettable times… my precious memory of a girl as pure and beautiful as freshly-fallen snow.

I'm a pretty simple guy, really.

All my life, I've longed for one thing above all others: love. And that love has only ever belonged to one girl.

Saki Saki. Yeah, that's her name. Ask her parents about that, not me. Anyway, I grew up next to her, so we're what you'd call "childhood friends." She's a bit of an airhead, but I'm not the smartest myself, so she fits me well. Honestly, she's perfect for me.

I've confessed to her so many times now, I've lost count. She honestly probably thinks I'm getting pretty annoying, but I can't help but be honest with my feelings. It's how I've always lived my life, and I don't see that ever changing. I've had these feelings for her since we were little kids, after all.

Today, I'm stepping up my game. I saved up some money at my part-time job for several weeks, and on the way to school, I bought a huge bouquet of roses. There's no way she can turn me down after seeing something like this, right?

These were the thoughts on my mind as I stepped into the classroom that morning. It was already late November, and the air had a bit of a chill. I quickly glanced around, seeking the girl that had dominated my thoughts all morning. Ah, there she is.

Saki Saki is such a pretty girl. Her face is cute as hell, her long red hair is always smooth and well-cared for, and her slim, athletic body triggers a whole variety of feelings in a young man like myself. I really want to make her mine.

"Saki-chan!"

"Eh?"

She turned around to face me. Looks like she was talking to Shino-san again. I'm so glad she has a good friend like her. Wait, I can't let my mind wander now.

"Saki-chan, I have something for you," I said smoothly, holding the bouquet behind my back.

"Wh-what is it this time?" she said, seeming a little hesitant.

Without another word, I pulled out the roses, which cost me several weeks' pay at my part-time job. Any price is fine if it makes her happy, though.

"For you, the prettiest girl I know. Saki-chan, I love you! Please go out with me!"

I scrunched my eyes shut as I held the roses out to her, waiting for her to take them. But for some reason, she wasn't taking them.

"Saki-chan," I muttered, opening my eyes.

She was standing there with a complicated look on her slightly-red face. When her eyes drifted to the side, refusing to meet mine, I already knew this time would be a failure again. I've seen that face before, after all.

Damn it, what did I do wrong? Does she hate flowers? I even made sure they were as close to her hair color as possible! What's wrong, why won't you take them, Saki-chan?

"Naoya, I… I'm sorry. I can't."

"But why, Saki-chan? I spent a lot of money on these!"

"You shouldn't be telling me that!" she yelled.

"Why not?! It shows how much I care about you!"

"I already got that!"

"Then why?! Saki-chan, do you hate me?"

"Naoya…"

"I really do love you, so why?"

"Naoya, don't you get it?" Saki said, lowering her gaze to the floor. "This stuff is so embarrassing. Can't you just take no for an answer already?"

"Eh…?"

"Just stop! Why must we always be a sideshow for the whole class?!"

"Saki-chan, what are you saying…?"

I hadn't expected this harsh of a rejection. In fact, this might be the most harsh one she's ever given me. I can already feel the uncomfortable glances of our classmates, but I can't stop now. I have to press forw-

"Aaaahhhh, enough already!"

With a sudden outburst, she pushed past me, running out into the hallway. As she did, those precious roses I spent so much money on got knocked out of my hand, and fell to the floor.

In the back of my mind, I could hear the surprised gasps and mutterings of my classmates, but they didn't register with me. I bent down slowly, picked up the roses, and stumbled to my seat. Out of the corner of my eye, I could see Shino-san peering at me from her seat next to mine. Ah, she must be pitying me right now. I'm sorry, Shino-san. I let you down again, even though you helped me out before.

"Damn it all…"

With that pathetic declaration, I let my head hit the desk, still clutching the roses in my right hand.

Just then the teacher arrived.

"Alright everyone, let's- Mukai? What's with the- Ah. I see."

Apparently coming to some sort of conclusion, the teacher began his routine for the morning. I couldn't care less about that, though. Maybe I'll just take a nap and forget about everything.

But sadly, I wasn't feeling sleepy at all. My mind was much too full of thoughts to rest.

Maybe it's time for me to give up on Saki-chan after all. That look on her face seemed serious. It really stung, damn it.

Maybe she just doesn't see me as a partner. I get that I'm kinda clueless sometimes, and probably too honest for my own good, but I know I could make her happy if I got the chance.

I buried my head in my arms even farther when Saki-chan answered the roll call. Damn it, why is it so chilly today? This sucks.

This was just a normal part of my life, though. I had resolved to make Saki mine, and I had always been prepared for the thorns that might scratch me in the process. I'm sure I'll get over it this time, too.

By the time lunch rolled around, I was feeling a bit better. But still, I felt strangely distant from everything around me. I couldn't really focus on the afternoon classes, and before I knew it, the light outside our classroom window was getting decidedly orange.

I stifled a yawn as I stood to my feet at the end of classes. I silently gathered my things, watching Saki-chan out of the corner of my eye. She was in a big hurry, and was packed up and gone before I could even come up with anything to say to her.

"Sigh… guess it's time to go home."

"Mukai-kun."

I heard a voice behind me. It was one I was pretty familiar with. That dignified, clear voice could only belong to her. Don't tell me, is she gonna tell me what an idiot I am again?

"Shino-san? What's up?"

"Sigh… you really just don't get girls, do you?"

"I knew it!"

"Wh-what?" she stammered, looking a bit disturbed.

"No, nothing, sorry. Shino-san, you're right. I'm an idiot."

"Well, even so, Sakisaki shouldn't have been so harsh on you."

"No, she's just being honest. Maybe it's time for me to stop pushing her. She looked pretty upset today, after all."

Shino bit her lip and looked down, with a strange look on her face. She finally spoke up again after a few seconds.

"Mukai-kun, anyone can see that your feelings are genuine. If she hasn't seen that by now, then…"

"I know, Shino-san. You don't have to finish that sentence."

"So you're not totally inept, after all."

"Hey, now. No need to kick a man while he's down."

Shino giggled softly, putting her hand over her mouth delicately. Then, she gently smiled at me. So gently, in fact, that my chest felt a little warm for some reason.

"Mukai-kun, I truly hope you two find happiness."

"Thanks, Shino-san. Well… guess I should be going now. Ah, guess I should throw these away, too."

I glanced down at the roses in my hand, which brought another pang to my heart. I headed out the door, strolling down the amber-colored hallways. At this hour, most of the students had already rushed out of the classrooms, making it a strangely quiet and serene scene. This normal, everyday scene seemed a little poignant today, for some reason.

Rounding the corner at the top of the stairs, I took one last look at the roses that held my feelings for Saki-chan (and three weeks' pay at my part time job), and slowly opened my hand, letting them drop into the trash bin. Then, I headed home, feeling rather sour.

In the quiet classroom, one girl still hadn't left. That white-haired, slender young lady was slowly packing her things with a rather melancholy look on her face.

She stepped out of the classroom, slowly sliding the door shut on another day at school. Today, she didn't have basketball practice, and no one had invited her to go anywhere, so she was planning on heading straight home.

She rounded the corner at the top of the stairs, but quickly drew back when she realized someone was there.

It was him.

What's he doing?

Like a curious small animal, she took another glance around the corner, and spotted Naoya with a bouquet of roses in his hand. He reluctantly let them go, and they fell into the bin. Then, he turned around, and headed down the stairs.

If Naoya could have seen the look on her face then, what would he have thought?

Her purple eyes were wide and moist. She stood there, gripping her bag tightly until her hand hurt. Her slender body was slightly shaking, making the little white curls at the end of her bangs dance.

Mukai-kun… why… do you keep letting yourself get hurt like this…?

She felt tears coming quickly, and shook her head, trying to regain her faculties. She took a deep breath, and made for the exit.

But as she passed by the trash bin, her feet stopped moving. She felt inexplicably drawn to that bin. Actually, to her, it was probably very explicable.

The roses lay limply atop a mound of papers, cans, and other assorted garbage that no one would ever care for again. Something about that just seemed too sad to that lonely girl. So, as she often did, she took action.

Her delicate, pale hand reached inside the bin, carefully avoiding the other trash, and pulled out the roses. Her cheeks flushed a bit, and her eyes glittered as she held the gift that Sakisaki had rejected. And until she made it home, those roses were treated more tenderly than any trash had ever been.

When I finally made it home that night, I felt incredibly drained. My body just didn't want to keep up.

"Damn it, me! Get it together!" I growled, slapping my cheeks with both hands.

It's just another small setback, after all. I'm certain that one day, my dream will finally come true. I can't think about any other possibility. Wait, I can't? Why?

For some reason, I was feeling a little philosophical tonight. I've always been told I'm an idiot, but honestly, I wonder what people would say if they really knew me?

I'm just a selfish dude that tries too hard. That's the honest truth. Sometimes I like to conveniently hide behind the curtain of being "simple" or "an idiot", but in reality, I already understood my situation a long time ago.

Saki probably won't ever see me as a man.

I've tried so, so many things to try and bring her around. I've given her gifts, even one that her best friend specifically helped me pick out. I've told her about my feelings in every way possible. I've tried to be as gentle as possible, or as blunt as possible, and everything in between.

Nothing has ever worked.

Maybe we've just been friends for too long. I get it, it isn't so simple to just change the way you see someone, especially when it's been ingrained for years. I understand that very well, because I've always seen her as the love of my life.

Maybe it's time I faced reality, though. I'm getting a little tired of playing the fool.

As I mulled over the day's events, I sunk down into a hot bath, feeling the lingering stress melt away.

"Haaa… Saki-chan, should I just give up?" I spoke softly to the empty bathroom.

Even now, she was just next door. She's so close, but she might as well be on the other side of the world. I can't reach her, and it's incredibly frustrating.

"Ah, damn it!" I yelled, trying to shake off the persistent gloom that had held on for most of the day.

As I prepared for bed, I fell back into my routine, and slowly let the waters of my mind smooth over again. At last, sometime near midnight, sleep took me over.

That night, in another part of town, a lovely bouquet of roses sat atop a table in a young girl's apartment. They were freshly watered and looking rather healthy.

The girl in question bustled around the room in nightclothes, preparing for bed. In the middle of this, she stopped and smiled at the bouquet for probably the tenth time that night, clutching her hand to her chest. Then, a bittersweet look replaced that smile.

"Mukai-kun… please don't give up."

If you do, I won't know what to do anymore.

The next morning, I headed to school, not sure what kind of face I should show Saki. Should I just be normal? Should I apologize? I don't have a clue anymore.

I monologued in my head all the way to class, as usual. I have to admit, this isn't how I thought my high school debut would turn out. I always pictured a perfect scene of me and Saki, surrounded by friends, enjoying our youth to the fullest. Instead, I've been nothing but a bother to her.

Fine. Today, I won't bother her. I'll leave her to herself.

I thought I was fine with that, but seeing Saki come into class at the very last minute still stung a little bit. I didn't say a word to her, though. I just focused on my studies as much as possible, which unsurprisingly turned out to be not very much.

At lunch, my silent reverie was interrupted by the girl that sits to the right of me.

"Mukai-kun, aren't you going to eat?"

"Ah, yeah, I probably should, huh?"

That white-haired girl's face grew stern.

"…Mukai-kun. You should be taking better care of yourself. It's pitiful to look at you lately."

"Wow, guess I'm an open book, huh?"

"ᵂᵉˡˡ, ᵒⁿˡʸ ᵇᵉᶜᵃᵘˢᵉ ᴵ'ᵐ ᵃˡʷᵃʸˢ ʷᵃᵗᶜʰᶦⁿᵍ ʸᵒᵘ," Shino whispered, looking away.

"Sorry, what was that? It's a little loud in here."

"I said get up, I'll go to the cafeteria with you."

"H-Huh?"

For some reason, Shino's pale cheeks were a little red as we walked to the cafeteria together. I felt strangely conscious of her. I mean, it isn't like I never noticed her. She's an incredibly charming and pretty girl, but she's Saki's best friend. That pretty much writes her off immediately. I'm not a two-timer, after all.

We got our food and sat at an empty table near a window. Outside, the last few leaves were falling from the trees. Winter really did arrive while we weren't even paying attention, huh?

I really don't like winter much. It's cold, uncomfortable, and makes me want to stay inside all the time. Pretty depressing, if you ask me.

"Mukai-kun, eat your food already. We don't have all afternoon."

"Ah, right."

"Sigh, you really are helpless, aren't you?"

"Listen, I'm going through a lot right now, alright?"

Shino chuckled at me, covering her mouth with her handkerchief.

"I know. Sorry about my idiotic friend."

"Haha, it isn't like it's your fault."

"R-Right," Shino said, looking down at her food.

I began stuffing my face mechanically, trying to get this necessary process done with as soon as possible. Shino's voice interrupted me again, though.

"Hey, can I ask you a question?"

"Sure."

"How do you keep taking this rejection from Sakisaki? I don't mean to be rude, but I think most people would have given up by now… right?"

Shino looked up at me with eyes that almost seemed pleading, if I didn't know better.

"I… sometimes I ask myself the same thing. I used to think I could just push forward until she finally saw how much I care about her, but is that really how it works?"

"D-Don't ask me. I have no experience to speak of."

"Shino-san, I feel like you just said something pretty embarrassing just now."

"I- Shut it!" she raised her voice, blushing. "You don't have to say everything you think of, you know?"

"Sorry. That's one of my biggest flaws."

"I'm well aware!"

"Setting that aside though, what do you think, Shino-san? What is Saki-chan thinking?"

Shino's face grew serious, and she put her finger and thumb on her chin, leaning forward.

"Hmm… I'm not sure… to be honest, I always thought she liked you back, but…"

"But…?"

"I-I don't know. I can't read minds, Mukai-kun," she said, crossing her arms.

She's getting defiant?!

"Well, that's enough for now. I think she needs some space, so I'm going to try my best for a while and see what happens."

"I see. That might be for the best."

"Anyway, thanks for the talk, Shino-san. I'm feeling a bit better now."

I smiled gently at Shino, meeting her eyes. Man, they really are pretty, aren't they?

After I thanked her, those lavender eyes got a little wider, and she stared at me intently, so much so that it was almost scary. Then, she looked down, holding her hands in her lap.

"Y-You're welcome."

This girl picks the strangest times to become docile. Oh well, it's almost time for class.

"Let's head back, Shino-san."

"Mm."

Another school day had come and gone, and most of the students were already somewhere within the maze of streets surrounding the school, making their way back to the places they called home. Since winter had come, the sun was already nearing the horizon, painting the world in orange hues. Here and there, streetlights were already starting to blink on.

Meanwhile, in the gym, the girl's basketball team was still in the middle of a heated practice.

"Shino, I'm open!"

"Got it!"

The white-haired girl deftly gripped the ball, then sent it flying towards her crimson-haired teammate. The ball spun through the air, hitting Saki in perfect stride for a smooth layup.

"Game! Great job, girls," the coach shouted out.

Saki strode up to Shino, wiping her sweaty brow with a towel. She gave her friend a high five and a cheeky grin.

"Jeez, why are you so good, Shinoooo?!"

"Stop nuzzling me like a dog. It's embarrassing, and you're all sweaty."

"D-Don't tell me… you're getting excited by my body?!"

"Not even slightly!"

Saki cackled at her overly-serious friend. This had been their dynamic since the day they first met. It was comforting somehow, despite the fact that the girls were almost polar opposites.

The two girls sat down on the bench to catch their breath after exerting themselves. Today had been an intense practice. Shino lifted the hem of her practice uniform shirt, wiping any remaining sweat off her face - and exposing her pale white stomach in the process.

"S-Shinosuke… you're so fit…" Saki said, as tears (of joy?) rolled down her face.

"Don't act like you've never seen this before, you weirdo! Jeez, what am I going to do about you?"

"You know you love me!"

"I wonder."

"Eh? Hey, Shino-sama, that hurts. Don't look at me like that!"

Shino sighed deeply. She was a little irritated at Saki lately, for reasons that were only obvious to her.

"So? When are you going to stop stringing Mukai-kun along?"

"Wha- Heh?" stopped, her mouth gaping.

Shino came right out and said it!

"Not that I really care or anything, but I'm tired of seeing the same pathetic two-man comedy act all the time. You two need to settle things already," Shino said, looking to the side with her arms crossed.

"S-Shino… are you worried about me?"

"N-No. I'm just saying this for my own sake."

"Ehh? No way, don't tell me you want to steal Naoya away from meeee?!"

"Hweh-?!" Shino squeaked, jumping like she had been shot.

Saki accidentally hit the nail on the head!

Shino's face was red as a beet, and she blustered for several seconds before regaining her composure enough to reply.

"I-I would never think of something so uncouth. I just want you to make up your mind, that's all."

"I… see."

Saki looked thoughtful, mustering up her one remaining brain cell and pushing it to its limit.

Did she figure me out? Crap, I was way too obvious just now! Shino thought, desperately flailing in her mind.

"Listen, Shino. I just… I don't know if I can accept Naoya. He's been my friend for so long, and changing that just feels so… scary."

"What?" Shino whispered, taken aback by Saki's seriousness.

"I guess you probably don't get it, since you're alone most of the time, but changing from just friends to something more isn't really easy, especially when he's as forward as Naoya."

Shino broke out in a cold sweat as Saki's cruel arrow pierced her heart.

"S-Sakisaki, I have a heart you know…" Shino managed to squeak out as she turned to dust and blew away.

"Oopsie, my bad! Hehe."

"Sigh. You two are just alike. It's like you were made for each other. ᴵ'ᵐ ˢᵒ ʲᵉᵃˡᵒᵘˢ…"

"Huh? Shino… did you just say…?"

"N-NO, I didn't say that!"

"I didn't even finish the question, though?"

"Huh?! Oh…"

The two were quiet for a while. Saki looked down, her face drawn tight. Finally, she spoke up.

"Shino, is there something you aren't telling me? I… to be honest, I saw you in the cafeteria earlier. You seemed to be having a good time with Naoya."

"I was NOT having a good time!"

"An instant denial?! How suspicious?!"

"THERE'S NOTHING SUSPICIOUS ABOUT IT!" Shino yelled, her face boiling.

"Hmm? Well, guess I'll leave it at that."

"S-Sakisaki… you…"

You really are an idiot, aren't you? If you act so ambivalent towards him, you're going to give me the wrong idea…

"Ah, it's getting late. I'm going to get dressed, see you later, Shino!"

Saki retreated, heading for the locker room. Shino was left alone on the bench, looking completely out of sorts.

Saki's confession had had an unintended consequence: Shino now felt something bubbling up in her chest, a strong emotion that she was quickly losing control of. If anyone had seen her, they would have seen a far cry from the normal, polite Shino. Her face was flushed, and her eyes were wavering.

The secret she had held on to for all these years, that truth that she had never once forgotten… It suddenly seemed frighteningly within reach.

For the first time, she had hope.