Kiryuu Shino was a girl who had grown well-accustomed to being alone. Raised as the only daughter of a wealthy couple, she was simply on another level than most of her classmates. She was as smart as a whip, often placing in the top 5 in national test rankings. Her father was a high-ranking executive at one of the country's most prominent banks, meaning she had never once had to worry about money. On top of all that, she was good at nearly anything she tried. She was the kind of person who put the sincere efforts of average people to shame without even really trying.
So when Saki Saki came along one day, crashing into her life like a bull in a china shop, Shino couldn't help but be a little annoyed. Here was a girl who was so stupid it practically showed on her face, yet she was making a concerted effort to be a part of Shino's life.
It confused her to no end.
But a few weeks after they first met, when Shino got to witness the formidable Naoya's latest confession, something changed.
For the first time in years, Shino found herself wanting to let down the walls around her carefully-hardened heart.
That Mukai Naoya… for some reason, his earnestness and kindness struck her like an out-of-control train.
However, those earnest feelings of his were not directed at her.
From the very beginning, she knew this. At first, that fact had stung her daily. She suffered from the feelings that blossomed unabated inside her chest, forced to watch the man she had fallen in love with pine over another girl. And not just any girl, but Shino's new closest friend. She couldn't afford to tell a soul about those feelings.
That day when she and Naoya had picked out a present for Saki… Shino had never once forgotten it. Every single moment was forever burned into her mind. And from that day on, a never-ending reminder hung from her pretty white hair - an outward representation of the inward truth that she could never tell anyone.
She had grown to accept that sad truth as if it was simply immutable, so why? Why were things going in this direction now?
Why won't Sakisaki just accept him already?!
Several days had gone by since Saki shot me down like a fighter plane over the Pacific. Those days sucked worse than any in recent memory, but I finally pulled myself together, and today, as I walked to school alone, the sun was shining brightly down from above, even though it was even colder than before.
Maybe things are finally starting to go back to normal. Yeah, maybe I should apologize to Saki-chan today.
My mind was full of such thoughts as I slid the classroom door open once again.
I glanced around the room, but Saki wasn't there yet. Well, so much for that shitty plan.
"Ah, Mukai-kun. There's something I wanted to ask you."
As I sat down in my desk with the demeanor of a deflated balloon, a familiar, and strangely comforting voice reached my right ear. I turned to its source to greet the young woman it belonged to.
"Shino-san, good morning. What is it?"
"M-Mm. Good morning. If you aren't busy after class, would you like to g-go somewhere with me?"
"Go somewhere? You mean like a love hotel or something?!"
"…Hwah?!" Shino squeaked like a dying mouse.
Her face turned a shade comparable to a fresh, ripe tomato, and she stood up so abruptly that her chair went flying behind her, hitting the desk behind with a loud thud.
"M-M-M-M-Mukai-kuuuuuun?! What the hell are you saying?!"
Come to think of it, what the hell was I saying to this poor girl?!
"S-Shino-san, I'm sorry! I don't know what came over me! I'll accept any punishment! Here, I'm calling the police! Please tell them everything!"
"Stop that! The police won't be necessary!"
By now, the whole class was watching our impromptu comedy show. Even Saki-chan. Wait, Saki-chan is here?!
"N-Naoya… I didn't realize you were that pent up… oh god, what have I done…" Saki whispered fearfully.
"I'M DEFINITELY NOT, THOUGH!"
"But I saw it! I can't believe it, I'm getting cucked again! …wait, again…? Huh?"
"S-Sakisaki?! What are you even saying?!" Shino yelped.
"AAAhhhh! Jeez! I don't get anything anymore!" Saki shouted, tearing at her hair.
I knew this was my time to shine. I had to defuse this situation, and quick.
"SAKI-CHAN! Calm down! Yeah, Shino-san is beautiful, and yeah if she wanted to go to a love hotel, it would be really damn hard to resist…!" I groaned, and fell to my knees. "Damn it… am I still too weak, after all…? NO. No, despite the temptation, I would never cheat on you, Saki-chan!"
"You… aren't… helping!" Shino yelled at me, leaping over several desks to cover my mouth.
When I finally came to my senses, class was about to start. I glanced around the room. Saki-chan was sitting so upright in her seat that it scared me a little. Her eyes only looked straight ahead, as if staring through reality itself.
"Ah, shit."
I slumped in my desk again, like a well-practiced habit at this point.
Oh, right. I didn't answer Shino yet.
"Shino-san, I don't know where you wanted to go, but I'd be glad to."
Shino jerked like she sat on a tack, then squeaked out a reply.
"O-Okay."
Meanwhile, a hostile, demonic aura emanated from the other side of the classroom. I decided to ignore it for now.
The rest of the day crept by, for some reason. Maybe because I had this weird feeling of anticipation. Was I really that simple? Was a meaningless invitation from Shino enough to make me all excited like this?
HELL YEAH IT WAS.
I really shouldn't be all antsy, though. I'm sure it's just something simple like last time. Maybe she has another idea to help me out with Saki-chan.
…
Wait, what? What is this feeling? When I thought about that, why did I feel… disappointed?
"Mukai-kun."
Speaking of Shino, she called out to me at the end of class again.
"Eh? Oh, Shino. You ready to go?"
"S-S-Shino?!"
Ah, shit, again.
"SHINOOOOooooooOOOOooo?!" wailed an unearthly voice from the other side of the room.
"Shino-SAN! Let's go!" I yelled, grabbing her wrist. It was surprisingly small, but warm.
Together, we ran out of class until we put some distance between ourselves and the typhoon brewing behind us. We ran and ran, stopping only when we reached the shoe lockers.
Only then did I let her go. We both stopped, gasping for breath. Then, Shino(-san) started giggling. Her soft laughter was contagious, and soon I found myself chuckling as well.
"Really, Mukai-kun. What are you even thinking? Sakisaki is going to hate you at this rate."
"Haha, well, I'm sure it'll work out somehow. We have known each other since we were kids, after all."
"If you say so."
"Anyway, where were you wanting to go?"
"Oh, I almost forgot about that!" Shino laughed again, pulling on one side of her bangs sheepishly.
That joyful smile on her face right then, as the evening's last sunlight fell on her pale skin… I couldn't help but think it was incredibly beautiful. In fact, anyone who wouldn't think so must have been insane.
For once, though, I decided to keep that thought to myself. I wasn't too sure about my future if I didn't.
"There's a new coffee place nearby that I wanted to check out, but I didn't want to go alone. And… Sakisaki hates coffee."
"Hm…"
"Stop that! Don't look at me with such soft eyes!"
Shino softly pounded my chest with her fists. It didn't hurt in the slightest, but it still had a critical impact on me. I chuckled again, and answered her.
"I'd be glad to go with you, Shino-san."
"…ʸᵒᵘ ᶜᵃⁿ ᶜᵃˡˡ ᵐᵉ ˢʰᶦⁿᵒ, ʸᵒᵘ ᵏⁿᵒʷ…"
"What was that?"
"I said, you can call me Shino, you know!" she spat out, her eyes closed and face turning red.
"S-Shino."
"Y-Yes?"
"There, I said it. Now, lets get out of here before someone comes along and sees this scene."
"…Hmmm, right. That would be pretty bad, wouldn't it?" Shino said cheekily, smiling.
We burst through the front doors of the school, out into the cool early-winter air. The clock outside read 17:07, and the sun was all but gone for the day. The dim light that remained was just enough to paint a hazy, out-of-focus picture of the girl called Kiryuu Shino - the girl who walked beside me now.
We turned right at the gate, heading towards a more lively part of town. The streetlights were already illuminating the concrete streets and bare trees along the way.
I stole a glance to my right. Shino was walking smoothly, properly, never wavering at my side. Her pure-white curls bounced cutely with every step, and her profile from the side was shockingly feminine and attractive. The way her skirt drifted around gently every time she took a step… Even her surprisingly-small chest… Damn. This might be bad.
Isn't she way too charming right now?!
"Mukai-kun, is something wrong? You're sort of staring…"
"My bad. I was just thinking that you're very charming, Shino."
"W-What? Stop it! I'm already too nervous for this!"
"Haha, don't worry. Nothing is going to happen. You're Saki-chan's precious friend, after all."
"R-Right. That's… true."
Shino seemed a bit down as she said that.
"Are you cold?"
"Ah, no. I'm warm enough, thank you." she replied, her eyebrows raised.
"I see."
"Mm."
Damn. I didn't think the conversation would die that quickly. What can I ask her about?
"Shino, you're on the basketball team too, aren't you?"
"Yes, I am," she replied, tucking her face into her scarf to hide it from the chilly breeze.
"I'm glad that Saki-chan has someone like you to play with. She tells me about how good you are from time to time. I always liked basketball, but I wasn't ever very good at it."
Shino watched me attentively as I spoke, then chuckled lightly.
"What's so funny?" I asked, a bit confused.
"Sorry, I just pictured you playing basketball for a second."
"Pretty damn awesome picture, right?"
"Mmm, yeah. Definitely."
"Shino-kun, you wouldn't lie to me, would you?"
"Huh?"
For some reason, when I said that, she looked at me seriously - inquiringly. Then she looked down at her feet.
"I… probably would."
Wait, what's with this development? I was just joking around, but I don't think she took it that way. Also, what's with that answer?
"Shino, I was just kidding. You really are earnest, aren't you?"
"Huh? I would say you're the earnest one, Love Hotel-kun."
"We're back to that again?!"
"We never left it! Honestly, you're insane for saying that! Sakisaki is going to kill me!"
"I already said I'm sorry! I didn't mean it!"
"Did you really not mean it, though? They say what's in the heart comes out of the mouth."
"I- I- I d-didn't mean it."
"Sigh… has anyone ever told you that you're a terrible liar?"
"Maybe!"
"Jeez. You really are irritating. We'd have to be dating for anything like- ahem."
That coquettish look on her face as she said that… that embarrassed smile as she straightened her already-perfectly-straight skirt… Yeah, there's no doubt she's cute. If I was a two-timing bastard, I might even think about doing something stupid like asking Saki-chan if I could date Shino too. Wait, me and Saki-chan aren't even dating, though.
"Anyway! Back to basketball. You should come to watch us play sometime, Mukai-kun."
"Oh? Sounds fun. Saki-chan might get embarrassed, though."
"Let her. She needs to get over that anyway."
"Shino-kun, what was that?"
"Nothing you need to worry about."
"That somehow makes me worry even more!"
From underneath her scarf, the corners of her lips turned up in a silly smile. Her eyes squinted with mirth. It seemed like she was really enjoying herself. That sight made my chest feel surprisingly warm, even as the cold north wind met my body.
"Well, anyway, I'm glad you found something you love. It's good to have passions in life. I'd like to see how you play one day."
Her smile only grew brighter, until it felt like her face alone was lighting up the twilit streets.
"Mm!"
After a short, but memorable walk, we arrived at the little cafe, a small, yet friendly-looking place called Cafe Stella. We stepped inside, and were greeted by a pretty waitress. After leading us to our seats, she handed us two menus and left us on our own. Soft, jazzy music drifted in the air around us, and the dim orange lighting contributed to the vibe.
"Cozy place. Good call, Shino."
"Right? I'm glad you can see that, Mukai-kun. Maybe you aren't entirely devoid of culture after all."
She chuckled with a hand over her mouth. Even though she was making fun of me, I couldn't bring myself to get mad.
"I may seem like an idiot, but even I can appreciate the finer things in life."
"I see. How appealing."
"Shino, anyone ever told you your sarcasm is too obvious?"
"No, that's a new one."
I laughed, shaking my head. Somehow, hanging out with this normally-uptight girl was turning out to be really fun, especially now that she seemed to have let her guard down. Seeing another side of her like this was very intriguing.
We relaxed at the cafe for a good several hours, chatting and trying different sweets. Shino seemed to be trying to single-handedly keep the little cafe in business, as she sternly refused any of my attempts to stop her or help her pay for anything.
My previous fear of not having enough to talk about looked ridiculous now. We talked about so many things… her love of basketball, how the team was doing, how she met Saki-chan, how stupid we were back in middle school when we spent that day together… the conversation just flowed on and on.
Eventually, the topic of Saki-chan came up again.
"I'm honestly really glad that you're friends with Saki-chan, Shino. You're a kind person, especially for putting up with her."
"I'm glad you understand my predicament so well, Mukai-kun," she smiled, with a trace of crimson on her cheeks.
"I'm not sure anyone else could. Oh, you don't have to keep calling me by my last name, by the way. It feels out of balance when I call you Shino already."
"Oh… okay."
Shino looked down at her hands, gripping her skirt. She looked nervous, which made me nervous for reasons that I hadn't even fully worked out myself yet.
"Naoya-kun."
"Much better."
I smiled at her kindly, and she smiled back. Then, she glanced to the side, avoiding my gaze.
"ᵂʰʸ ᵃʳᵉ ʸᵒᵘ ˢᵒ ᵏᶦⁿᵈ ᵗᵒ ᵐᵉ?"
She has a habit of whispering under her breath, but this time, I definitely heard what she said.
"Because you're kind. You're a good girl, Shino. I care about you."
Shino looked up at me after I said that, but her face didn't match my expectations. Her eyes were misty, her cheeks were red, and she looked rather perturbed.
"You shouldn't say things like that to just anyone! Someone is going to get the wrong idea one day."
"I don't say that to just anyone."
"Wha-?"
"You're Saki-chan's precious friend. You mean a lot to me."
"I… see… so it's about her again."
"What?"
"It all comes back to Sakisaki, huh?"
"What do you mean?"
I was confused by Shino's tone, which almost seemed accusatory.
"Is that all I am to you? Someone who takes care of the girl you keep pining after?"
"Shino… what's this about?"
I tried to calm her down, but she was already past that point, it seemed. As if she had made a decision, she looked up at me with her eyebrows furrowed, a far cry from that pretty smile she showed me earlier.
"Naoya… why do you keep chasing her…? Why… when I'm right here…?"
My eyes went wide as I tried to take in what she was saying. It didn't compute, for some reason.
"I'm right here…! I've been right here for so long… So why…? Why won't you just look at me?!"
Her tiny hand was clutching her chest. With tears rolling down her rosy cheeks, Shino looked at me with such sincerity that I didn't know what to say. The soft lighting of the cafe reflected off those big purple eyes, causing my chest to burn. What is this feeling?
I couldn't speak. I understood what she was saying, and it certainly wasn't out of left field. I had considered the thought before, but threw it away almost as quickly. There's no way she would ever like me. Or so I had figured.
"Shino… you can't be serious…"
"I am! Don't tell me I'm not serious…! Not when I've been keeping this in for all these years!"
"No way… why are you…" I trailed off, afraid to finish that question.
Shino started to sniffle as she wiped a tear from her cheek. She looked so lonely sitting there in the booth across from me… it made my heart ache.
I didn't know what to say to her. I didn't understand why she had chosen to say this now, and I couldn't fully fathom what she meant… but without even thinking, my hand reached across the table for hers. I found it, and wrapped that tiny, slender hand up inside mine. I squeezed it reassuringly, and through her tears, Shino gave me a sad smile that nearly broke my heart.
I held her hand until she stopped crying, desperately hoping that the man behind the counter wasn't going to call the police. At last, she composed herself enough to talk again.
"I'm so sorry, Naoya-kun. I've gone and ruined everything."
"What do you mean?" I asked, my brow furrowed.
"I shouldn't have said anything. Please forget about it. For your sake, and for Sakisaki's as well."
Shino's expression had an air of resignation, as if she was about to give up on something.
I looked down, my eyes hidden behind my bangs. I was feeling strangely annoyed all of a sudden.
"Like hell I will."
"Wh-What?"
"How the hell am I supposed to just forget about that? It must have been so hard for you to say that, and yet you want me to forget it?! Who do you think I am?"
"Y-You're Sakisaki's future husband, and I'm not going to ruin that."
"Listen here… I make my own decisions. Saki-chan doesn't own me, no matter how I feel about her."
"Don't say that. You've tried for so long."
"And that means nothing if she doesn't feel the same! Don't just throw away your own feelings like that!"
I didn't know why, but I was arguing in favor of her, as if I didn't want her to give up. But Shino just shook her head in response.
"Naoya-kun… you still don't understand anything, do you? Do you know how much it hurts when you're so kind to me? How much I wish it was me that you worked so hard for? Please… I'm begging you… stop being so nice to me… unless you're ready to take responsibility for it."
I just stared at Shino, wide eyed. I couldn't believe that this was the same quiet girl who always sat next to me in class… Saki-chan's serious, earnest friend.
"Shino… I can't do that yet. I'm sorry."
"Heh, of course not. You still love Saki, don't you? I get it, feelings don't just go away that quickly…" she said, biting her lip.
"I do still care about her. And I wouldn't feel right about just dropping her without an explanation."
"Right. See, this is why I fell for you. You're so kind and honest, Naoya-kun."
Shino appeared to be holding back bitter tears even as she said that. Ah, damn it!
"Shino, I've never wanted to two-time Saki-chan any worse than I do now! Even though I'm not even dating her yet!"
"Wh-what the hell?" Shino said, looking a bit disgusted.
"But that wouldn't be right either! You deserve 100%, nothing less! I'm sorry I can't give you that right now!"
Shino stared at me for a few seconds with her mouth open slightly.
"…Pfft. Right now?"
"Yes! Right now!"
"Careful, I might make you take responsibility for that vague wording," Shino said, cheekily smirking at me with misty eyes.
"I honestly probably wouldn't mind if you did!"
Shino's face went red again, then she shook her head like a dog shaking off water.
"A-Anyway! We can set this aside for now. No need to tell Sakisaki about it, or think too deeply about it. I'll try to make do with our current distance."
Shino was back to her prim and proper demeanor again.
In response, I cried.
"Shinooo! That's just too sad! Stop it, or I may not last the night!"
"E-Ehhh?! I'm not going to a love hotel, no matter what, okay?!" she sputtered, her face dyed crimson.
I felt a sense of impending doom as the man behind the counter raised an eyebrow at us. Alright, it's probably time to go home now. I don't think we'll be coming back here any time soon, either.
Outside again, we strode down the nighttime streets of our city, headed back to our warm homes. I checked my watch. The glowing hands pointed to 20:57, telling me it was already near my bedtime. I stifled a yawn.
"Naoya-kun, thank you for coming with me tonight… even if I said more than I should have."
"It was my pleasure. Really," I reassured her, smiling kindly.
Shino grew quiet for a little while, then spoke up again as we passed under some lit-up trees. It seemed that the Christmas season was already upon us.
"You know, I told myself so many times that I would never tell you how I felt. It feels so weird knowing that I couldn't even do that much."
"Shino, don't worry about it. I said it's fine. I wouldn't want you to keep quiet about it anyway."
"But I did keep quiet for a long time… Do you know how long I've liked you?"
I gulped. I probably wasn't ready for this, but I shook my head anyway.
"Since the very first time I saw you confess to Sakisaki, back in middle school. I liked you the whole time, even knowing you cared about my best friend. I'm awful."
I furrowed my brow, seeking an appropriate answer.
"If caring for someone is awful, then I don't want to be right. Shino, it really makes me happy to know that you love me."
"L-Love… yeah, I guess I do huh…"
Shino smiled a bit conflictedly, and gazed up at the hundreds of little lights that hung in the trees above us. I caught a glimpse of her pretty eyes twinkling under that magical canopy, and it was a scene that I would probably never forget.
I sighed deeply.
"You know, this is really hard for me. I've already been wondering if it wasn't time to move on from Saki-chan… And if I'm being honest, I've always thought you were very pretty and charming, even since back in middle school. So this choice isn't as easy as you might think."
"I don't know whether I should feel good about that or not."
"I'm just being straight with you. I think you deserve that much after what you showed me back there."
"I see. Thank you, Naoya-kun," she said, flashing me a genuine smile that touched my heart.
We continued on, heading back towards the residential area where I lived. Come to think of it, I wonder where Shino lives?
"Where is your house, Shino? I'll walk you home tonight."
"You don't have to do that…"
"I'm not taking "no" for an answer."
"Sigh… fine. It's just a few blocks away."
We walked on silently together, side by side. After a few blocks, we arrived at a rather tall and expensive-looking apartment building.
"We're here," she muttered.
"Nice place," I nodded, appraising the area.
"My parents pay for it. I don't really need this much, but… Papa insists."
"I see. Well, now that you're safely home, I should head back as well. Goodnight, Shino."
But that plan was not meant to be. Shino grabbed my sleeve as I turned around, pulling on it lightly.
"Wait. It's so cold, you should warm up before heading home."
"Eh? I'm fine though, really."
"Naoya-kun. I insist."
Shit, this might be really bad, huh? I hope I don't have to meet her parents right now. If they caught some random guy coming home with their daughter in the middle of the night… The thought made me break out in a cold sweat.
Without arguing any further, I followed Shino inside the gate and through the front door of the building. The foyer was spacious and clean, and exuded expensiveness. We stepped into the elevator together, and Shino pushed the button for the 31st floor. I really didn't know what to say, so I was quiet the whole way up. At last, mercifully, we arrived at her room.
"Come on in," she said after unlocking and opening the door.
"Pardon the intrusion," I whispered, setting my shoes beside hers.
"You don't have to act like you're breaking and entering, you know," Shino said dryly as she watched me walk inside.
"Just making sure I don't wake anyone up."
"You don't have to worry about that. I live alone."
As she said that, she looked down a bit bashfully. Sweet lord, what have I stepped into this time?
I tried to ignore the undeniable flavor of youth welling up in my mouth, and strolled across the plush carpet to the sofa in the living room. I took a seat, relaxing a bit after our long evening.
"Do you want something hot to drink? Tea? Cocoa, maybe?"
"Ah, tea is fine. Thanks."
Shino nodded obediently and headed into the kitchen. As she brewed the tea, I surveyed the apartment of a single, high-school age girl. This was an all-new experience for me, so I made a pact in my heart to take it all in.
What I found was very normal, though. It seemed that Kiryuu Shino was fairly utilitarian in her decorative tastes.
"Something caught your eye?" Shino said, suddenly right next to me.
"N-No. Just taking it all in."
"I'm not sure what that means, but it sounds pretty weird," she said, looking a bit concerned.
"It's perfectly normal, don't worry."
"Okay… well here's your tea."
"Thank you, Shino-chan."
"…chan?"
"Yeah… that was weird. I'll stick with Shino."
I took a sip of the tea she had brought me. It was piping hot, and quite delicious.
"This is great! The flavor is very unique!"
"Thank you," Shino smiled gracefully at me. "I very much enjoy tea, so this is something like my specialty."
"Hmm. Another new side of you that I didn't know."
"Another? Are you that interested in me?"
"…I can't deny that!"
"It was supposed to be a joke!"
Things were finally starting to feel less awkward. I had been extremely aware of my situation since we got here, but this laid-back feeling was pretty nice. I could get used to this.
"Mmm. So you live here alone? Don't you get lonely, Shino?" I asked, sipping the tea.
Shino took a seat in the chair near the sofa, and gave me a stern look.
"That isn't something you should ask a lady."
"My bad. I was just curious. I live by myself too, for the most part. My parents are hardly ever around."
"I see. So you don't have any siblings either?"
"Nope. Although Saki-chan lives next door, so I was never too lonely."
"N-Next door…?" Shino said through squinted eyes.
"Yeah. She never told you?"
"No… that poor girl."
"Shino-kun, your thoughts are leaking out."
She sighed, holding her head in one hand, then took a sip of her tea.
For a while, we made small talk over our tea, until I realized what time it was.
"Damn, it's almost 22:00. I should really be heading home now."
"Ah, right. I lost track of time," Shino said with a wry smile.
"Can I use your restroom before I go?"
"Sure. It's down the hall on the left."
All that tea had left me in need of relief, so I rushed into the restroom. I took care of business, washed my hands, and headed back into the hall, only to be greeted by a very different scene than the one I had left behind a minute ago.
Wait, what? Why is it so dark in here now?
I strained my eyes to see down the hallway. The living room lights were out; only a small night light illuminated the carpet on the hallway floor. I carefully walked down the hall, keeping my hands on the walls.
"Shino? What's up, did you go to bed already?"
"No. I'm right here."
Her small voice called out from the living room, so I kept stumbling that way. When I entered the room, I could see the lights of the city shining outside the large windows behind the couch. Suddenly, to my surprise, I felt a warm mass push up against me.
"What the…?"
I reached out to touch it, and quickly realized it was Shino. I noticed the feeling of her hands on my chest, too.
"Shino…?"
"I know… we shouldn't be doing this. I'm sorry. I just really wanted to be close to you before you left. It's way too embarrassing with the lights on…"
I sighed. It wasn't like I didn't understand. My own heart was wavering mightily, begging me to do things that I would probably regret for the rest of my life if I slipped in my resolve for even a second.
"Okay. Just for tonight," I replied, wrapping my arms around the girl in front of me.
Once I did, I couldn't help but notice how tiny she was. Her shoulders paled in comparison to mine, and the small of her back was absurdly thin. Even her chest - which was pressed directly against me - didn't feel very large at all. In fact, it was pretty tiny. For some reason, that fact was making my mind run absolutely wild.
"I had so much fun tonight…"
"Y-Yeah."
"I don't want to let you go."
"I know."
"I'm so sorry… but I really don't want Sakisaki to accept your feelings…"
Her blunt words hit me hard. I didn't know whether to be mad, sad, or something else entirely. Still, I kept my arms around her until she started to draw back, signaling my queue to let her go.
"You should head home now, Naoya-kun. I…"
She trailed off before finishing her thought.
"Right. Can we turn the lights on, though? I can't really see how to leave."
"Ah, sorry, the switch is over here," Shino muttered.
She made a move back toward me, but just then I heard a dull thump and a cry.
"Ouch!"
"Shit!"
When I realized what had happened, Shino was directly on top of me, with both of us laying on her living room floor. Her chest was absurdly close to my face. No, it was actually pressing onto my face. And for some reason, it felt a whole lot like bare skin and bra…
"S-Shino?!"
"I-I'm sorry! I tripped!" she yelped, pulling back.
Her shirt slipped off of my head as she sat up, but when she did, I heard another thump, and another muffled squeak. Then, she fell forward on to me again, her face coming to rest next to mine, cheek to cheek. Her hair tickled my neck, and her full body weight was now pressing firmly on me, but she still felt so light…
"Mmmmm~!" she groaned, favoring her elbow.
But just then she must have realized the same thing I did, because she went stiff as a board. We were dead silent for what must have been over a minute. I could distinctly hear the hum of her AC unit droning on and on, but that was the only sound to be heard. Then, slowly, timidly, I felt one of her hands slip behind my head. Her small, lithe fingers ran through the back of my hair, causing a shiver to run through my body.
"Naoya-kun," she whispered in my ear, her voice sounding strangely husky and full of a longing that words couldn't properly express.
I felt like I had been struck dumb. I couldn't respond. I just couldn't. I didn't want her to hear my voice, for fear that it would give away how incredibly aroused I was. Instead, my arms found their way from my sides, inching slowly upward until they bent in, wrapping around Shino firmly.
I held her close, feeling her heartbeat racing like a Formula 1 car. This awkward accident had exploded into something incredibly tender and heated with only the tiniest spark to ignite it. Is this how things are truly meant to be? Is this what love is actually like? If so, I've been a fool… an absolute fool.
The two of us just embraced each other there on her living room floor, without saying another word. The distant city lights were dimly illuminating the white ceiling above us. Staring up at that blank expanse, I felt myself starting to let go of something that I had held dear for many, many years. To be honest, it scared me. I wasn't ready to let go just yet. But in that moment, I could only think that it was something inevitable - something like divine providence. Those were my honest feelings.
Then, the ceiling was blotted out by something dark, and I felt something warm and wet touch my lips.
Ah, she really did it.
That was all I could think at that moment. I didn't resist. I just let those soft, smooth lips press against mine until her heart was content.
And in that moment, I felt the decent, upright version of myself shatter into pieces.
After several seconds, my first kiss ended as suddenly as it began. Shino pulled back, putting her hands on my chest. I could feel her body heat through them quite clearly. We were still quiet, but I could hear her ragged breaths coming one after the other.
"Shino… why… I thought we agreed to keep our distance…?"
That was all I could think of to say. I'm sure she didn't appreciate that response to her daring maneuver, but I was simply at a loss for words. My mind was racing so fast I could barely comprehend it, and my body was keenly aware of the parts of us that were touching.
She lowered her head after hearing me speak.
"I'm sorry… I really didn't intend for this to happen… but… I'm so happy right now… my heart feels like it's going to explode…"
My heart was at its limit as well. This girl had already wormed her way into it, and in no small way. I honestly began to make peace with the idea of losing my virginity to her right then and there, but my rapidly-shrinking voice of reason still held me back by the slightest of margins.
Maybe that was why I placed my hands firmly on her shoulders, and sat up. She slid off my lap onto the floor with a *plop* and a tiny squeak.
"N-Naoya-kun…?"
"It's time for bed, Shino. Class comes early tomorrow."
"…Huh…?"
I couldn't really see her face too well, but her tone told me she was dumbfounded. I'm sure that wasn't what she was expecting to hear, but this just wasn't the time to fully let go. I can't allow myself to indulge in her sugary-sweet love just yet, not until I'm ready to give her my everything… I knew that.
"Listen, I'm honestly at my limit here, alright? You're so attractive that I can barely hold myself back. I need to go home now. I don't want our first time to be like this."
"F-First time?! I-I guess you're right… but I really wouldn't mind…"
God help me, this girl is about to make me have a heart attack. Is this even the same girl I thought I knew? She's so…
She's so incredibly lewd!
"I really wouldn't mind either! But I have to make some things right first! Please understand!"
I fell into the lowest dogeza I could manage, slapping my forehead against the soft carpet.
"R-Right… I get it. Stop that already."
I stood to my feet, reaching for the walls. My hand soon found a light switch, and I flipped it. My wide pupils were blinded by the instant flash of bright light. Then, I heard Shino yelp behind me.
"D-Don't look at me! Please, don't turn around right now, ok?"
"G-Got it. Well then, good night, Shino."
"G-Good night. Please be safe."
I slipped my shoes on in the empty entrance way, a bit disappointed that Shino wasn't there to bid me farewell. It was then that I realized just how far I had already fallen.
I whispered a brief apology to Saki-chan, then headed homeward.
Shino sat in the middle of her living room floor, her knees bent underneath her. She heard the front door open and shut, and finally took a deep breath for what felt like the first time in half an hour.
"W-w-w-w-wha-"
Her eyes were spinning, and her face was so red that someone might have mistaken it for a medical emergency. Her clothes were disheveled, her shirt was half-unbuttoned, and her normally-immaculate hair needed a good brushing. Even her treasured purple bow was out of whack, sitting at an odd angle.
"What was I just about to do?!"
She held her burning cheeks in her hands, wishing she could just disappear.
We- we just almost did IT, didn't we?!
Shino was a blubbering mess. She shakily stood to her feet, supporting herself with the nearby wall. Then, she raised one finger to her lips, and brushed them lightly.
"Oh God… I kissed him…"
The white-haired girl knew she should feel regretful, especially considering how her best friend would feel about this situation. Things had now gone far beyond plausible deniability.
However, that night, her heart was filled with nothing but pure joy. She replayed her first kiss over and over in her mind, feeling her chest throb with love until she finally set off for the land of dreams.