Thirty minutes after the girls had run off to the locker room, I sat outside on a nearby raised planter, still waiting for my important meeting. My hands felt a bit chilly even inside the pockets of my thick winter jacket, so I pulled them out and breathed some warm air on them.

Still seeing no sign of Saki, I strolled over to a vending machine behind the gym. I pulled out some change, and selected two hot BOSS coffees. Leaning back against the planter, I popped the top on my coffee and resumed my wait.

The night was still and vacant, and above me, I noticed that a bank of clouds had rolled in to cover the stars. No one was around here at this time of night. I could almost convince myself that I was the only man left on Earth in a place like this. Before long, though, I heard the sound of footsteps clacking on the concrete path that led from the gymnasium to this little corner of the school - a place that me and Saki both knew well.

"Thanks for waiting, Naoya."

"Ah, there you are, Saki-chan. You made me wait."

"That's the exact opposite of what you should say to a lady!"

I chuckled and took a sip of my coffee. For some reason I was feeling quite relaxed around her tonight, which hadn't been the case lately.

"Oh… right, here," I said, holding the other coffee out to Saki.

"C-Coffee? Uueeegggh," Saki made a very unladylike sound, and a face to match it.

"Whoops, I forgot you don't like coffee."

"…Is that something else that Shino told you…? Ah, damn it. Just give it to me."

Saki snatched the can, cracked the top, and gulped several swigs down.

"Puaaahhh! Warm, but nasty!"

I leaned back on the planter ledge, making myself comfortable in preparation for what was to come.

"So, what's this meeting about, Saki-chan?"

"Don't play dumb."

"Well, I'm pretty sure I know, but anyway… I'm listening."

Saki set the coffee can down, resting her hands on her hips. She was quiet for much longer than I'm used to from her, but finally she spoke up.

"Naoya, I'm sorry."

I certainly wasn't expecting her to start with an apology.

"Uh, shouldn't I be the one apologizing?"

"Yeah, you should! But I'm first! So shut up!"

"Roger."

"Naoya, I… I know I've been stringing you along for a long time now. I just… didn't want to risk our friendship by… becoming more. I know it was selfish of me to keep you around, but I didn't even understand my own feelings… I'm sorry."

"Saki-chan…?"

"I'm not done. I know after everything I've put you through I don't have any right to complain… but I didn't think you would move on so quickly! What the hell?! It kinda stings, even if I turned you down!"

"I-I haven't…"

I stopped short of finishing that sentence. I knew if I finished it, it would be nothing but a pretty lie.

"And what the hell is Shino thinking?! That girl was always the quiet, polite one! Is it really true that the quiet ones are the ones you have to watch out for?"

"I uh… wouldn't know anything about that."

"Jeez. The whole team was asking me questions after the game, even our coach! I had to pry myself away to even get here," Saki sulked.

"Look, Saki. For what it's worth, I didn't start this whole thing. It just sort of… happened."

"Your story is suspiciously like Shino's," Saki glared at me. "Don't tell me… collusion?!"

Suddenly, it hit me. I just called her "Saki". I felt shocked by how impersonal that sounded, but even more shocked at how distant I was from the whole situation. A few months ago, would I have been this calm?

"Apparently Shino has liked me since middle school. She even kept the bow I gave her back then. I didn't want to make light of her feelings, but… things sort of got out of hand."

"That's putting it nicely!"

"Either way, I don't know what to do from now on."

I bluntly shoved my feelings out in the open.

Saki was quiet for a while. As I sipped the last of my coffee, I gazed through the leafless tree branches above us. As my mind drifted far away, I felt something tiny, soft, and cold touch my face.

"Ah, it's snowing…"

An indescribable feeling came over me as I watched the first few snowflakes of the season flutter to the ground.

Saki reached out her hand and plucked one of the white flakes out of the air, then watched it melt in her hand.

"ᴵ ᵍᵘᵉˢˢ ⁿᵒᵗʰᶦⁿᵍ ᶜᵃⁿ ˡᵃˢᵗ ᶠᵒʳᵉᵛᵉʳ, ʰᵘʰ…"

"Saki…"

She went silent for a while, and when she spoke up again, her voice was more gentle than before.

"You know, Shino sorta reminds me of winter. She seems a little cold and harsh on the outside, but once she lets you inside, it's so warm and sweet… like a holiday with your family… that's the kind of feeling she gives me."

I always kinda disliked winter. It's cold, dark, and a bit depressing. But I completely understood what Saki meant. At that moment, I truly felt that winter wasn't so bad. In fact, it might even be a little bit magical.

I just sat there amongst the tiny dancing flakes as Saki spoke softly - tenderly - about her beloved best friend.

"I know how kind and sincere she is… So I can understand why this happened. I love her, after all. She's… my most precious friend, besides you."

I didn't want to hear her beat around the bush like this any longer. I needed to hear the truth.

"Saki-chan."

"Huh?"

"How do you really feel about this?"

"W-What do you mean, Naoya?"

"I mean… do you love me or not?"

With the mood feeling right, I asked the earnest question that could end all of this, one way or another.

"I-I… I do… but maybe not quite as much as you want me to…"

I was surprisingly calm as I responded.

"What do you mean by that?"

"I mean… you're really precious to me, and yeah, I get jealous sometimes, but… I don't think I can give up our friendship for something so risky…"

"I see."

"I don't want to lose you, Naoya! You mean so much to me! I just didn't think it would hurt this much to see you with my best friend! What the hell is wrong with me?!"

Saki's eyes teared up, sparkling under the light of the single lamp nearby.

"Saki… I don't want to hurt you. I never intended to do that."

"I know you didn't! I know you would never do that! But now you and Shino are… are so close to each other! I just don't get it!"

I sat forward, holding my head in my hands. This truly felt like the end of a dream. I'm really about to wake up from my long, long dream of being with Saki, aren't I? My heart was still conflicted and far from certain, but deep down I knew the truth: trying to stop this was inevitable. Like the last fleeting moments of a dream, just as you start to realize you're waking up… There was no going back to what was behind us now.

"I'm in love with Shino."

"…Eh…?"

"I can't deny it, Saki. I love her."

"B-But that's…"

"You know me. I wouldn't lie to you."

To tell the truth, I had probably known it for a while now. I just didn't want to admit it, knowing what the fallout of such a decision would be. But earlier tonight, when Shino embraced me wholeheartedly… without a hint of shame, even though she was the center of attention… it became irreversibly clear: I love that girl. I really wanted to keep holding her in my arms. I didn't want to let her go. Even now, it's almost like I can still feel the lingering warmth of her body. I want to be near her. I long for her.

I should keep those thoughts to myself, though.

Saki looked down at her reddening fingertips. I'm certain she was struggling mightily at that moment, but I couldn't embrace her. I would never be the one to comfort her again. I had given away that right the moment I uttered those last few contemptible words.

"H-How…"

Saki sniffed, wiping her eyes with her sleeve.

"How am I supposed to… deal with this…?"

I was quiet for a bit. I knew I couldn't just carelessly answer this question.

"I don't know. But… if you want to, we can figure it out together… all three of us."

"Are you suggesting a two-timing relationship?!" Saki yelled out, her voice shattering the peace of the snowy evening.

"No… even though I did consider it! I'm sorry, I'm still too weak!"

Saki sighed, then sat down beside me. I could still hear her voice wavering as she spoke to me again.

"You know… when we act like fools together like this… I've always thought it was so much fun… I'm sorry for being dishonest about it. Can we… still be like this, even after you and Shino get together…?"

I studied Saki's moist eyes - the eyes of the girl I had loved for years - and I smiled gently.

"Of course we can."

Saki looked up at me with a reluctant smile.

"Then maybe… maybe we can all get along."

"I really hope so. I don't want to take your best friend away from you. She's too precious."

"Yeah, she is! Shino is so lovely and kind and quiet but yet straightforward when she needs to be and… Wait, I'm supposed to be mad right now! Damn you, Shino! Why can't I stay mad at you?!"

"Why should you be mad at all?"

"N-Naoya, you really don't get girls at all, do you?" Saki muttered, looking at me like I was dirt.

"Someone else told me the same thing once."

"Damn you Shino!"

"How did you know it was her?!"

"What other girls do you talk to?!"

"…Good point!"

"Enough of the shouting! Damn it… why does it always end up like this…?"

"I honestly have no idea."

"Anyway, don't hate me… but I always kinda thought we'd g-get together one day… but I… I really don't have the right to make you wait on me."

She seemed a little sad as she said that, which pricked my heart.

"Saki-chan, don't say that… not now…"

"You dummy. It's because it's now that I can say it."

"I see… I think I get it."

"Yeah. I'm sorry I'm such a dishonest girl."

"At least you said it. That's a start, right?"

"I guess so…"

We both grew quiet. It seemed like there wasn't much left to be said. I felt a sad sense of longing for a past that was slipping away, but at the same time, I felt more free than I had in years.

As I tried to sort through my feelings, I felt a weight on my right shoulder. I glanced out of the corner of my eye, and saw red hair gently nestled against me.

"Don't tell Shino, okay…?"

I just nodded. I couldn't bring myself to deny Saki this one little concession after seeing her reactions earlier. I knew I had hurt her, and the man I was a month ago would have never even considered saying the things I had tonight.

I've changed. I only hope it's for the better.

Me and Saki parted ways in the dark outside the gymnasium. She still had to clean up and grab her things from the locker room, so I made my way out into the night on my own.

The weight of what I had just done was still sinking in. I almost felt lightheaded when I considered it. For years, Saki had defined everything I aspired for. I had just thrown that away with a few simple words.

"I'm in love with Shino."

Yet, as my feet tread the familiar streets leading home, I felt like I was walking on air.

The snowflakes were few and far between now, and a few stars were peeking out from behind the low-hanging clouds. Around me, most of the shops had Christmas lights and decorations up. That's right, Christmas is almost here, isn't it? That thought made me smile to myself.

After making it home, I quickly scarfed down some leftovers and prepared a bath. My fingers still felt a bit chilly after that prolonged time outside, after all. I stewed in the hot water for a good while, just letting everything soak in.

By the time I got out, it was almost 23:00.

I slipped into my pajamas, and checked my phone.

"Huh, one unread message?"

It was a LINE message from… "Kiryuu Shino", at 22:10.

How can I put it… that utilitarian name fits her very well.

I opened the message, scanning its contents.

Naoya-kun,

How did the meeting with Sakisaki go?

I hope everything is alright.

I know I upset her greatly earlier.

I'll have to apologize properly later on.

Thank you for coming to watch me play.

Sorry for creeping on you on LINE without asking.

Well then, good night.

"S-S-"

"So proper?!" I cried out, falling to my knees.

Not to mention, that heart?! I think I just took critical damage! How is this girl so damn cute?

I quickly typed a reply.

Things could have gone much worse. I think things might be salvageable for you two. Good night, Shino. See you tomorrow. Oh, and there's no need to be so formal with me.

I suspected that she had already gone to bed, but instead, my phone buzzed almost immediately.

So fast! Too fast, Shino!

That's a relief. I miss you already, Naoya-kun. Is that informal enough?

Wow, my chest feels insanely warm right now. Am I having a heart attack? This can't be normal, right?

My shaking fingers typed out another reply.

Much better. You're too cute, Shino.

I set my phone down, afraid to see what she would say next. My face was on fire. This is absurd. This is way too stimulating, damn it!

After several harrowing minutes, Shino finally replied.

I'm so happy. I'm going to sleep now, good night again.

Two good night messages?!

I grinned like an imbecile as I typed my last reply.

Good night.

I really wanted to send a heart, but I felt like my man card was in danger of being revoked if I did. So, I maintained my perfectly stoic image with a simple message instead. Sublime.

This is definitely what youth is all about.