It's a hot summer day. The Loud family is at the beach*
Lincoln: Well, my family doesn't think I'm bad luck anymore. In fact, now they think I'm good luck!
Lola: Hey Lincoln, put the head back on before we get stung by a jellyfish!
Lincoln: *sighs* But unfortunately, only when I'm in the squirrel suit. *puts head back on*
30 minutes later*
Lincoln: It's getting really hot... Okay, I can't take it anymore! *proceeds to take the head off*
The whole family: *gasps* LINCOLN!
Lincoln: You know what? I'm sick of this! I'm officially disqualifying myself from the family. *proceeds to walk off*
Lincoln: Those idiots, they only think I'm good luck when I'm wearing this stupid squirrel suit! *Lincoln sees a bonfire and proceeds to throw the squirrel suit in it*
Meanwhile, 2 gangsters named Buster Barney and Norman Nobles, nicknamed Barnes Noble, are
relaxing in their house, enjoying beer.*
Buster: Hey Norm, I'm bored, I think we should do something today.
Norman: You wanna jump the gate at the Country Club and use the pool?
Buster: No, we did that a week ago.
Norman: Do you wanna hang out at Chris' house?
Buster: Does it look like I wanna hang out with that jackass?
Norman: Ok, nevermind then...
Buster: Wait, I have an idea!
Norman: Let me guess, you wanna
Both in unison: Help somebody out with a problem!
Norman: I'm glad that God blessed me with a little brother.
Buster: Thanks big bro.
Both in unison: Now let's do this!
Lincoln keeps walking, eventually coming across Buster and Norman's apartment*
Norman: Hey Buster! I think we have a new client.
Buster: Well, fuck me sideways and call me a Whopper! I think you're right!
the doorbell rings*
Buster: Oh, and speak of the devil!
Both open the door*
Lincoln: Hey guys, I have a question.
Both: Well, tell us!
Lincoln: My family only thought I was good luck when I was wearing a squirrel suit, and now they think I'm bad luck. Thank God I destroyed that hot death trap in a fire. And to top it all off, they sold all my furniture! So my question is, can you help me?
Buster and Norman in unison: Is that even a question? Of course we can!
Lincoln: Oh, my God, thank you so much. I say we start by buying back my furniture.
All of them look online and find the buyer. But there's one problem. They weren't able to buy the furniture back unless they had replacements. Luckily, Buster had the same exact bed set when he was little. So they gave the buyer the replacements and bought back Lincoln's furniture*
Lincoln: Thank you guys so much for buying my furniture back. I will forever be grateful.
Buster: Aww, no problem little buddy.
Well, we now cut to the night, the guys are working on a plan*
Buster: I was thinking we should break into the house and steal all their cash!
Norman: Well, I was thinking we could take them out and kill them if they don't take him back!
Lincoln: Woah woah now! Those ideas seem a little too brutal!
Buster and Norman in unison: *sighs* Agreed.
Norman: Well, since those ideas are a little too brutal, we could just file a police report.
fast forward to Buster calling 911*
Operator: 911, what's your emergency?
Buster: Yeah, we have a kid here saying he disqualified himself from his family.
Operator: Why did he disqualify himself?
Buster: His family thought he was bad luck. They started off by making him eat breakfast in the living room. If you don't think that's too bad, well there's more. He couldn't come to the movies with them, forcing him to stay home alone. Then they sold his furniture and boarded up his room, saying he can't sleep there, so he had to sleep outside. And for the cherry on top, they locked him out. And he couldn't come to his sister's softball game.
Operator: Oh God, what's the address of the family?
Buster: 1216 Franklin Avenue, Royal Woods.
Operator: Ok, I'm dispatching a squad car over to the location.
Buster: Okay, we'll meet them over there.
Operator: Okay, thank you for telling us sir. Bye now.
Buster hangs up the phone*
Buster: Ok, we're gonna meet the cops over there.
Norman and Lincoln in unison: Okidokes!
insanely short driving montage but eventually they arrive*
Officer #1: Hey guys! One of you said you guys were gonna meet us here. Is that true?
Buster: Yes, I was the one who said that.
Officer #1: Well, nice to meet you. Now, where's the kid?
Lincoln: Right over here.
Officer #1: Hey kiddo, what's your name?
Lincoln: My name is Lincoln. And this is my family's house.
Officer #1: I was just gonna ask if you know who this house belongs to! But now I've got my answer.
the whole family comes out, the officers arrest the older ones, and the younger ones are put in foster care. Did I mention they had a special treatment for LJr? But anyways, that's the end of this. Next chapter is coming soon*