"Glad you could make it," Ruby said, opening the door upon Sam and Dean's arrival. "Yeah, thanks," Sam told her, then looked over at Anna. "Anna, are you okay?" The redhead nodded, smiling a little. "Yeah. I think so. Ruby's not like the other demons. She saved my life."

"Yeah, I hear she does that," Dean nodded, eyeing Ruby. "I guess I... you know." She looked at him expectantly. "What?" He took a deep breath, clearly struggling to get out what he wanted to say. "I guess I owe you for... Sam. And I just wanted... you know..."

"Don't strain yourself," the demoness smirked. "Okay then. Is the moment over?" Ruby nodded. "Good, 'cause that was awkward. Where's my daughter?" He looked around, finally spotting Mack sitting in the far corner with her rabbit. While he went over to make sure she was okay, Anna turned to Sam. "Hey, Sam, you think it'd be safe to make a quick call, just to tell my parents I'm okay? They must be completely freaked."

"Uh," Sam swallowed, shifting uncomfortably. Anna furrowed her brow, confused. "What?" she asked him. "Anna, um... Your parents..." He trailed off, unsure how best to break the news to her. "What about them?" she pressed, getting more and more worried. "Look, I'm sorry." Realization dawned on her face as she registered what he was trying to tell her. "No, they're not..." she shook her head, backing up away from him.

"Anna, I'm sorry," Sam apologized, giving her his signature puppy dog eyes. "Why is this happening to me?" she cried in distress. "I don't know," he shook his head. Suddenly, Anna froze, her eyes widening. "They're coming," she breathed. "Back room," Dean barked. He was holding Mack, who he had deemed perfectly fine after inspecting her for any injuries. Sam took Anna into the back room before returning alone. Dean set Mack back down, keeping her behind him so he was shielding her from whatever angels were about to show up.

"Where's the knife?" Ruby asked them. "Uh... about that..." Dean chuckled a little awkwardly. Ruby gave him an incredulous look. "You're kidding," she scoffed. "Hey, don't look at me," he defended, earning a glare from Sam. "Thanks a lot." Ruby groaned, leaning her head back in exasperation. "Great. Just peachy. Impeccable timing, guys really."

The door rattled violently before bursting open. Castiel and Uriel entered the room, looking around at the Winchesters and Ruby. "Please tell me you're here to help," Dean said. "We've been having demon issues all day." Uriel glared straight at Ruby. "Well, I can see that. You want to explain why you have this stain in the room?" Ruby glared right back at him, not saying anything. "We're here for Anna," Castiel informed them.

"Here for her, like... here for her?" Dean clarified, hoping he was wrong. "Stop talking," Uriel snapped. "Give her to us."

"Are you gonna help her?" Sam asked, also hoping the angels weren't implying what it sounded like they were implying. "No, she has to die," Castiel said bluntly. Nobody moved and it felt like the air had been sucked from the room. Fed up with the argument, Uriel stepped forward. "Out of the way," he commanded. "Whoa, whoa, whoa," Dean protested, holding out his hands. "Okay, I know she's wiretapping your angel chats or whatever, but it's no reason to gank her."

"Don't worry," Uriel smiled at him sinisterly, "I'll kill her gentle." Dean shook his head in disbelief. "You're some heartless sons of bitches, you know that?" Castiel nodded, taking the question very literally. "As a matter of fact, we are. And?"

"And?" Sam echoed. "Anna's an innocent girl."

"She is far from innocent," Castiel corrected. "What's that supposed to mean?" Uriel glared over at Ruby again. "It means she's worse than this abomination you've been screwing. Now give us the girl." Dean stepped forward, still shielding Mack. "Sorry. Get yourself another one. Try JDate."

"Who's gonna stop us?" Uriel challenged him. "You two? Or this demon whore?" He threw Ruby against the wall and Dean attacked him. Meanwhile, Sam was trying to stop Castiel from going into the back room. "Cas, stop... please." Cas touched Sam's forehead and he crumpled to the ground. He looked over, spotting Mack in the corner while Uriel punched Dean. "I've been waiting for this," Uriel grinned. Suddenly, a bright light engulfed the two angels and they disappeared.

"What the..." Dean trailed off. He helped Ruby to her feet, and the demoness went over to Sam who was beginning to stir. Mack followed her father into the back room where Anna was cowering with her arms and hands covered in her own blood. "Anna. Anna!" he cried, rushing over to her. "Are they- are they gone?" she asked him. "Did you kill them?" Dean asked, worried about Cas, though not looking too closely at the feeling.

"No," she shook her head. "I sent them away... far away."

"You want to tell me how?"

"That just popped into my head," Anna indicated a sigil drawn on the mirror in her blood. "I don't know how I did it. I just did it."

Back at Bobby's house, they learned that Anna's latest psych episode hadn't been her first. Apparently, when she was two and a half, she'd get hysterical anytime her father got close and claimed he wasn't her real dad. She had said her real dad wanted to kill her. Then she saw a shrink and grew up normal until now. Anna said she had no clue what was happening, or why the angels said she was guilty. So, they recruited Pamela to help find out more information.

They got Anna settled on a cot in the panic room, Pamela sitting in a chair beside her. Sam and Dean stood back, just inside the room while Ruby was forced to watch from the outside. Mack was clinging to Dean's leg, watching the psychic and the girl on the cot curiously. "Nice and relaxed," Pamela told Anna. "Now, I'm going to count down from five to zero. When we're at zero, you'll be in a deep state of hypnosis. As I count down, just go deeper and deeper, okay? Five... four... three... two... one. Deep sleep. Deep sleep. Every muscle calm and relaxed. Can you hear me?"

"I can hear you."

"Now, Anna, tell me... How can you hear the angels? How did you work that spell?"

"I don't know. I just did."

"Your father... What's his name?"

"Rich Milton," Anna replied. Her voice was light and trancelike as she answered. "Alright," Pamela nodded. "But I want you to look further back... when you were very young... Just a couple years old." Anna began to shake her head, face contorting in fear. "I don't want to," she protested. "It'll be okay. Anna, just one look- that's all we need."

"No," Anna continued to protest, getting more worked up. "What's your dad's name?" Pamela pressed. "Your real dad. Why is he angry at you?" Anna began to scream. "No. No! No. No!" Across the room, Dean had picked up Mack, who was becoming frightened. The young girl had buried her face in his neck, refusing to watch. "Calm down," Pamela told Anna, but it was no use. "He's gonna kill me!" Anna screamed. "Anna, you're safe."

"No!" The lights exploded and glass shattered as the redhead became more frantic. "Calm down," Pamela tried telling her again. "He's gonna kill me!"

"It's alright, Anna."

"Anna?" Sam asked, stepping forward. "Sam, don't," Pamela tried to warn him. Anna threw Sam across the room with more strength than she should have possessed. "Wake in one... two... three... four... five," Pamela instructed. "Anna... Anna? You all right?" Anna stood from the cot, a more confident air to her than she had before the hypnosis. "Thank you, Pamela. That helps a lot. I remember now."

"Remember what?" Sam asked, getting to his feet. "Who I am." Nobody spoke for a moment, and then Dean piped up. "I'll bite. Who are you?" Anna looked directly at him as she answered. "I'm an angel." The group migrated upstairs into Bobby's study. The Winchesters all took seats around the room while Pamela and Ruby hovered by the door to the basement and Anna stood in the middle of the room.

"Don't be afraid," the former angel assured the demon and psychic, "I'm not like the others." Ruby eyed her cautiously. "I don't find that very reassuring," she answered. "Neither do I," Pamela added. Accepting those answers, Anna turned instead to address Sam and Dean. "So... Castiel, Uriel- they're the ones who came after me?" she asked. Sam nodded, "You know them?" Anna nodded her head in confirmation. "We were kind of in the same foxhole."

"So, what, were they like your bosses or something?" Dean questioned her curiously.

"Try the other way around."

Dean raised his eyebrows, impressed. "Look at you," he smirked. "But now they want to kill you?" Pamela queried, wondering what had changed. "Orders are orders," Anna replied. "I'm sure I have a death sentence on my head."

"Why?"

"I disobeyed... which, for us, is about the worst thing you can do. I fell." Dean didn't understand what the big deal was. "Meaning?" Pamela was the one to answer the question. "She fell to Earth, became human."

"Wait a minute. I don't understand," Sam spoke up. "So, angels can just become human?" Anna locked her gaze onto Sam. "It kind of hurts. Try cutting out your kidney with a butter knife. That kind of hurt. I ripped out my grace."

"Come again?"

Green eyes snapped to Dean. Normally, when a girl looked at him like that, he got an adrenaline rush because it meant that they were interested. However, for some reason as he stared back, he couldn't help but think how he preferred a striking cobalt to the pretty green that was fixed on him now.

"My grace," Anna explained. "It's... energy. Hacked it out and fell. My mother, Amy, couldn't get pregnant. Always called me her little miracle. She had no idea how right she was." Dean swallowed, wetting his lips with his tongue. "So, you just forgot you were God's little Power Ranger?"

"The older I got, the longer I was human, yeah." Once again, Ruby interjected her voice into the conversation. "I don't think you all appreciate how completely screwed we are." Anna nodded in agreement. "Ruby's right. Heaven wants me dead."

"And Hell just wants her. A flesh-and-blood angel that you can question, torture, that bleeds. Sister, you're the Stanley Cup. And sooner or later, Heaven or Hell, they're gonna find you." Anna agreed, a solemn look on her face. "I know. And that's why I'm gonna get it back."

"What?" Sam asked curiously. "My grace," she answered. Dean blinked. "You can do that?"

"If I can find it."

"So, what, you're just gonna take some divine bong hit, and, shazam, you're Roma Downey?"

"Something like that," Anna smirked, amused by his reference. Everyone in the group seemed to be on board. "Alright. I like this plan. So, where's this grace of yours?" Anna shrugged. "Lost track. I was falling about ten thousand miles per hour at the time." Sam furrowed his brow, "Wait. You mean falling, like, literally?"

"Yes."

"Like the way a human eye can see? Like a comet, maybe, or a meteor?"

"Why do you ask?"

Sam, being the nerd he was, was surrounded by books. He had the idea to go back to around the time Anna was born and look for any reports of a meteor sighting. He found one report of one over Ohio nine months before she was born, and at the exact same time, another one was spotted over part of Kentucky. As he started to narrow down the search, he found accounts from Union, Kentucky about a local miracle. In '85, the year the meteors showed up, there was an empty field. Then, six months later, there was a full-grown oak tree that looked a century old, at least.

When they drove to check it out, however, Anna claimed her grace was no longer there with the tree. So, they found a nearby barn to camp out in and make a new plan. "We still got the hex bags," Dean pointed out. "I say we head back to the panic room." Ruby glared at him. "What, forever?" He glared right back. "I'm just thinking out loud!"

"Oh, you call that thinking?" Sam was quick to diffuse the situation. "Hey! Hey, hey, hey. Stop it." He touched Ruby's arm, pulling her away from Dean, but she shook him off. "Anna's grace is gone. You understand? She can't angel up. She can't protect us. We can't fight Heaven and Hell. One side maybe, but not both. Not at once."

"Um... guys?" Anna got everyone's attention, a contemplative look on her face. "The angels are talking again."

"What are they saying?" Sam asked. She shook her head, confused. "It's weird... like a recording... a loop. It says, 'Dean Winchester gives us Anna by midnight, or..." she trailed off, scared to finish the sentence. "Or what?" Dean asked her, heart pounding in his chest. "... or we hurl him back to damnation."/

"No!" a new voice cried out. Everyone stared at the young girl in surprise. "Bug?" Dean asked gently. "They can't! He promised!" Mack was shaking her head frantically, tears in her eyes. "Who promised, sweetheart?" She didn't answer the question, inconsolable as she continued yelling. "He promised you wouldn't leave me again! He promised!"

Dean swallowed, kneeling down in front of his daughter and trying to get her to calm down. Behind him, his brother and the two women looked on. This wasn't what Mack's father had in mind when he thought about her talking again without Cas around. The tantrum seemed to have come from left field. But then, as he thought about it, he realized, maybe it hadn't. Cas had told him that part of the reason Mack had been so closed off still was because she feared losing him again. And now the angels were threatening to take him away from her.

"It's okay, bug," he told her gently, reaching out to comfort her. "I'm not going anywhere. I'm not leaving you." She was still shaking her head, resisting. "He promised," she repeated again, staring at him with wide, tear-filled eyes. "I know, baby girl," he nodded. "It's going to be alright. I'm right here." Still letting out little, gasping, hiccup-y sobs, Mack melted into his arms. Her hands latched behind his neck and she buried her face in his neck as he held her close. "He promised," she muttered one more time, the words muffled and sleepy sounding.

"Shh. I know," he whispered in her ear. "I know." He felt her hands slacken slightly, and he straightened up, keeping her cradled against his chest. One arm supported her while the other wrapped around her back, his hand resting on the back of her head. "Hey, Sam, will you-"

"Yeah," Sam nodded, heading out to the car to grab the blanket and pillow they kept in the trunk for exactly this purpose. Mack had begun to snore softly, the tantrum having tired her out quickly. She hadn't had that intense of a reaction to something in a while, and it had left her exhausted. Sam returned with the items and they created a makeshift bed off to the side for her to sleep. He had also brought in Skittles, which had somehow been left in the car.

Dean brushed her hair from her face, pressing a gentle kiss to her forehead before returning to the group. They still needed a plan. "Anna... do you know of any weapon that works on angels?" Sam asked her. "To what? Kill them?" He nodded and she shook her head. "Nothing we can get to... Not right now."

"Okay, wait, wait," Dean spoke up desperately. "I say we call Bobby. Get him back from hedonism." Sam glared at him like he was stupid. "Dean, what's he gonna tell us that we don't already know?"

"I don't know, but we got to think of something!"

Dean had moved out to stand by the Impala while studying a large book, needing some air. Anna came out, walking over to him, but not saying anything right away. "Hey. Holding up okay?" he asked her. "Trying," she admitted truthfully. "Yeah," he agreed, looking back at the book. "A little scared, I guess," she added. They stood in silence for a minute before Anna spoke up again.

"Mckinley... she meant Castiel, didn't she?" Dean swallowed, nodding a little. "I think so. She hasn't thrown a fit like that in so long. Hell, she's barely said more than a couple words around me since I got back. The only times she's said anything before that was when Cas was around."

"That makes sense," Anna nodded. "As her guardian angel, she would inherently trust him." Dean blinked. "Her guardian angel?" That didn't make sense; Cas had specifically corrected him about angels being warriors, not guardians. Anna was already explaining, "As your daughter, Heaven would want to keep an eye on her, make sure she's safe. They understand how important she is to you, and wouldn't want to risk invoking your anger."

"Because they have work for me to do," Dean translated, thinking about the mysterious, unnamed purpose he had been raised from Hell for. "Essentially, yes," Anna confirmed. "So, um... Dean... I wanted to thank you." The sudden subject change threw him for a moment. "For what?" he asked her. "Everything. You guys- you didn't have to help me-"

He immediately shut her down before she could continue. "Hey, let's can the 'thanks for trying' speech, you know? Participation trophies suck ass." She had gotten a sad, solemn expression on her face. "I don't know. Maybe I don't deserve to be saved." Even as he was thinking about how much of a hypocrite he was being for doing so, he let protests fall from his mouth. "Don't talk like that."

"I disobeyed. Lucifer disobeyed. It's our murder one, and I knew it. Maybe I got to pay."

"Yeah, well, we've all done things we got to pay for." Anna turned, leaning back against the trunk of the Impala to look directly at him. "I got to tell you something. You're not gonna like it." Dean furrowed his brow. "Okay. What?"

"About a week ago, I heard the angels talking... About you... What you did in Hell. Dean, I know. It wasn't your fault. You should forgive yourself." Dean shifted, looking away from her scrutinizing gaze. "Anna, I don't w-want to, uh... I don't want to... I can't talk about that." When he chanced a glance back at her, there was understanding and sympathy in her eyes. "I know. But when you can, you have people that want to help. You are not alone. That's all I'm trying to say." She leaned forward, stealing a kiss.

"What was that for?" he asked when she backed off. "You know... Our last night on Earth... All that," she smirked at him. He returned the smirk with a cocky one of his own. "You're stealing my best line." They kissed again, somehow making it into the back of the Impala and allowing things to escalate from there.

Inside the barn, Dean stood across from Uriel. "Look at that. It's so cute when mud monkeys wear clothes," the angel smirked. "I'm dreaming, aren't I?" Dean guessed. "It's the only way we could chat... since you're hiding like cowards."

"Don't normally see you off your leash. Where's your boss?"

"Castiel?" Uriel raised an eyebrow. "Oh, he, uh... He's not here. See, he has this weakness. He likes you. Time's up, boy. We want the girl." Dean's mind got stuck for a moment, wondering if that was true- that Cas liked him. He knew now that Cas was assigned to guard Mack, but from what he could tell, angels were emotionless soldiers who were programmed to obey. But then, Cas had claimed that he wasn't like that; he had questions, and doubts. Forcing himself to not dwell on it and move on, he decided to bluff. "Wouldn't try that if I were you. See, she got her grace back. Full-blown angel now."

"That would be a neat trick, considering..." Uriel pulled a chain with a vial of a misty blue substance out from under his shirt, "I have her grace right here. We can't let Hell get their hooks in her." Dean eyed the vial. "Well, why don't you just give her back her angel juice?"

"She committed a serious crime."

"What? Thinking for herself?"

"This is our business, not yours. She's not even human... not technically," Uriel told him. "Yeah, well, I guess I just like being a pain in the pooper," Dean gave him a cocky smirk back. Uriel stared at him, then seemed to realize something. "No. There's more. You cut yourself a slice of... angel food cake. Didn't you? Huh?" Dean averted his gaze. "You did."

"Why do you care?" Dean went on the defensive. "You're junkless down there, right? Like a Ken doll?"

"Ooh. Well, it's your last chance. Give us the girl, or-"

"Or what? What, you're gonna toss me back in the hole? You're bluffing." His heart was thudding out of his chest, hoping he was right. The angel seemed to sense his hesitancy. "Try me. This is a whole lot bigger than the plans we got for you, Dean. You can be replaced."

"What the hell," Dean shrugged. "Go ahead and do it."

"You're crazy enough to go, aren't you? You'd risk getting torn away from your kid again for some girl." Dean's expression hardened as Mack was brought up. Of course he wouldn't risk getting sent back to Hell again if he thought the angels were actually serious about it. He would never do that to her again. So, keeping in mind the basis of her tantrum earlier, he stood his ground. "What can I say? I don't break easy."

"Oh, yes... you do. You just got to know where to apply the right pressure."

"I don't know, man. Where's Ruby?"

"Hey, she's your Hell buddy," Dean replied to Sam, taking a swig from his flask. Normally, he tried to avoid drinking around Mack, but after the night he had had, he needed it. Mack had woken about half an hour earlier, but hadn't left her makeshift bed. She was rubbing circles on her rabbit's ear and staring down at her lap with puffy red eyes from crying. "Little early for that, isn't it?" Anna asked him, eyeing the flask. "It's two a.m. somewhere," he shrugged.

"You okay?" she pressed.

"Of course," he nodded.

The doors blasted open at that moment and Castiel and Uriel entered the barn. "Hello, Anna," Cas greeted her. "It's good to see you." Sam was staring at the angels in shock. "How? How did you find us?" He looked over at Dean, who was avoiding his gaze as he drank from the flask. "Dean?"

"I'm sorry," Dean apologized, looking sidelong at Anna. "Why?" Sam asked in disbelief. "Because they gave him a choice. They either kill me... or they kill Mack. I know how their minds work," Anna said. She walked up to Dean, kissing him goodbye. "You did the best you could. I forgive you," she turned back to face Cas and Uriel. "Okay. No more tricks. No more running. I'm ready."

"I'm sorry," Cas echoed Dean's apology, sounding less sincere. "No. You're not," Anna called him on it. "Not really. You don't know the feeling." Cas set his mouth grimly. "Still, we have a history. It's just-"

"Orders are orders," she finished. "I know. Just make it quick." Suddenly, Alastair appeared with two other demons who were holding a bleeding Ruby. "Don't touch a hair on that poor girl's head," he snapped. "How dare you come in this room... you pussing sore?" Uriel spat back. "Name calling. That hurts my feelings... You sanctimonious, fanatical prick."

"Turn around and walk away now," Castiel ordered. "Sure," Alastair nodded. "Just give us the girl. We'll make sure she gets punished good and proper." While the angels and demons were talking, Dean glanced over at Mack, who had looked up when the angels arrived and was watching with wide eyes. She hadn't made a sound and was staying perfectly still, and even though he wanted to go over to her, he figured it was best not to draw attention to her at the moment.

"You know who we are and what we'll do," Castiel continued. "I won't say it again. Leave now... or we lay you to waste." Alastair gave him a cocky smile in response. "Think I'll take my chances." A fight broke out as the angels and the demons attacked each other. Castiel went after Alastair while Uriel took on the demons that had been holding Ruby. Cas tried to exorcise Alastair with his hand, but it didn't work. "Sorry, kiddo. Why don't you go run to Daddy?" Meanwhile, Uriel managed to exorcise one of his demons with a scream. Then, the unthinkable happened: Alastair started to exorcise Castiel.

"Potestas inferna, me confirma. Potestas inferna, me confirma. Potestas inferna, me confirma." Dean rushed up behind him, hitting the demon with a crowbar. Alastair turned, fixing him with a disapproving look. "Dean, Dean, Dean... I am so disappointed. You had such promise." As Alastair attacked him and Sam, Anna managed to grab her grace from Uriel.

"No!" Uriel shouted when he realized. Anna threw the vial on the ground, white light flowing into her mouth as the grace was released. "Shut your eyes. Shut your eyes! Shut your eyes!" They did as they were told, everyone shutting their eyes as a bright light filled the room. Castiel had moved over to Mack while Alastair had been attacking Sam and Dean, and he shielded her from the blinding light with his body, one hand covering her eyes. She clung tightly to the front of his shirt, whimpering slightly.

When the light had vanished, both Anna and Alastair had vanished, leaving Ruby's knife behind. Cas removed his hand from over Mack's eyes and she stared up at him with eyes mixed with confusion and sadness. Another pang went through him at the sight, just like back at the park when he promised her he would make sure she didn't lose Dean again. He wished he could do something to help her not feel that way.

"Well, what are you waiting for?" Dean asked Uriel. "Go get Anna. Unless, of course, you're scared." Cas straightened, letting Mack go and walking over to Uriel's side. That was when Dean seemed to realize he had been protecting her from Anna's return to grace, and several emotions flashed across his face- shock, gratefulness- and then it was all hidden behind a stoic mask. "This isn't over," Uriel addressed Dean. "Oh, it looks over to me, junkless."

With that, Cas and Uriel disappeared from the barn. Dean went over to check on Mack while Sam did the same with Ruby. "You okay?" the younger brother asked the demoness. "Not so much," she replied. "What took you so long to get here?" Dean shot over in their direction. "Sorry I'm late with the demon delivery. I was only getting tortured."

"I got to hand it to you, Sammy," Dean said. "Bringing them all together at once- angels and demons. It was a damn good plan."

"Yeah, well, when you got Godzilla and Mothra on your ass, best to get out of their way and let them fight."

"Yeah, now you're just bragging." Sam shrugged, seeming pretty proud of himself, then got a worried expression on his face. "So, I guess she's some big-time angel now, huh? She must be happy... Wherever she is."

"I doubt it," Dean muttered.

Sometime later, Sam and Dean leaned against the Impala on the side of the road while Mack snoozed in the backseat. Sam was drinking a beer, while Dean remained empty handed. "I can't believe we made it out of there," the elder shook his head. "Again," Sam agreed, drinking. "I know you heard him."

"Who?"

"Alastair. What he said... about how I have promise."

"I heard him," Sam confirmed, nodding. Dean couldn't look over at him as he spoke, hands shoved deep in his pockets. "You're not curious?" The younger brother scoffed, "Dean, I'm damn curious. But you're not talking about Hell, and I'm not pushing."

"It wasn't four months, you know."

"What?"

"It was four months up here, but down there... I don't know. Time's different. It was more like forty years." Sam's eyes widened, beer forgotten in his hand. "My God," he breathed. "They, uh... They sliced and carved and tore at me in ways that you... Until there was nothing left. And then, suddenly... I would be whole again... like magic... just so they could start in all over. And Alastair... at the end of every day... every one... he would come over. And he would make me an offer. To take me off the rack... if I put souls on... if I started the torturing. And every day, I would tell him to stick it where the sun shines. For thirty years, I told him. But then I couldn't do it anymore, Sammy. I couldn't. And I got off the rack. God help me, I got right off it, and I started ripping them apart. I lost track of how many souls."

A single tear rolled down Dean's cheek as he took a shaky breath. "The- the things that I did to them..."

"Dean..." Sam swallowed, facing him. "Dean, look, you held out for thirty years. That's longer than anyone would have." Dean was openly crying then, all the feelings he'd been bottling up spilling out. "How I feel... This... inside me... I wish I couldn't feel anything, Sammy. I wish I couldn't feel a damn thing."