Homer goes to college It's revealed Homer is under qualified for his job and must attend college to be safe enough to employ as Nuclear safety technician.
PlotThe nuclear inspectors come to the Power Plant for a surprise inspection.
"Mr Burns we know you're in there open up." Says the ginger haired inspector. Suddenly Mr Burns releases his hounds on them.
"Excellent! I told you keeping a dog pen on site was a brilliant idea, Smithers." Mr Burns is watching from his office as the inspectors are mauled by his hounds.
Injured and mauled by angry Doberman's, the safety inspectors went back to their second job, working as lab technicians for Herbert Powell's car factory.
"I'm not gonna ask... I already have to deal with Pregnant Arnold Schwarzenegger..." said Herbert Powell.
"I want my Larry!" Arnold cried while going into labour. Uh the movie Junior is weird and pretty disturbing...
At School Bart was discussing amusing colleges.
"Like clown college or barbershop."
"Or both. A barbershop college staffed by hair cutting clowns!" said Oscar.
"Why?!" Bart yelled baffled.
"Why not?! It would be funny!" Oscar laughed.
Bart sighed.
"I'm going to Bovine university!" said Ralph.
"Uh Ralph..." Lisa asked.
"Well I'm not going to a lame college full of nerds! I'm throwing my life away and becoming a rock star. Then I may ruin my career by getting into drugs..." said Bart.
Lisa seethed.
"How awful!" Martin gasped.
"Shut up Princess!" Nelson pounded Martin.
...
"That moron! Does he want to spend the rest of his days in jail!" Mayor Quimby yells. "Get me on the phone to Monty, now!" His bodyguard rings Mr Burns.
"Ah hoy hoy."
"Now you listen here, Monty! You can't keep turning away Nuclear safety inspections! That's a federal requirement that not even I can weasel my way out of!"
"You can't speak to me in that manner!" said Mr Burns annoyed.
"Look, you don't get to decide when you have health inspections! Only governor Bailey decides them!" Quimby scolded Mr Burns.
Mr Burns sighed and drummed the table annoyed.
"Do you understand Monty?!" Mayor Quimby yelled.
"Yes Mayor!" Mr Burns sighed.
Back at school.
Oscar was annoying everyone with his fusion summon chants.
"Safety scissors... my furious teddy bear... when the two come together you better beware! I fusion summon! He is the most unbearable monster yet! Hehehehe! Uh-bearable! He truly is a cut above the rest!" Oscar does Sora Perse style fusion chants when summoning his monsters.
Bart sighed.
"Oscar stop summoning lame monsters..." Nelson sighed.
"My monsters are not lame! Tedward Scissor Paws! Destroy him!" Oscar yelled.
Bart winced at seeing Nelson be destroyed.
Ralph was shooting a movie.
"What's it called?" Lisa asked.
"The Color Burple." said Ralph.
Lisa gave him bug eyed look of bafflement.
...
The following week a nuclear safety team visits the plant. Mr burns tries following shenanigans like saying his asleep, saying the plant makes cookies.
"Delicious home baked, chewy..."
"Get the ax..." sad the head inspector who also worked for Herbert Powell as a car scientist. To make new cars.
Then Mr Burns hid the worst three workers underground and guarding a bee in a jar.
Homer and two really stupid guys were guarding a bee underground.
"Homer why are we down here?" A stupid guy asked.
"I told you Bernie... to guard the bee..." Homer sighed.
"But why...?" Bernie asked.
"I don't know!"
Larry spilt the cover off of the bee and flew away.
"Oops!" said Larry.
"Oh no! The bee escaped! We have to get it back!" said Homer.
"We did bad..." said Bernie in a cartoonish manner.
"Where's Simpson?" The head inspector asked.
"Oh he couldn't bee here." Smithers quipped and smirked.
"Hahahahaha! Good one Smithers! Ohohohoh!" Mr Burns laughed.
Suddenly Homer bursted out from the sewers. "Ow! Bee bit my bottom! Now my bottom's big!" Homer cried with a comically swollen bee sting on his butt.
Mr Burns sighed.
They put Homer in a testing booth.
"Just pretend you're at work Homer." Suddenly the booth glows green and melts into the ground leaving a massive crater. A radioactive Homer crawls out growling.
"Rrrr! Must destroy humanity! (His watch beeps) Oh! Lunch time!" He shakes the radiation from himself and returns to normal.
(Mr Burns's office) "Mr Burns! Homer is dangerously unqualified! Look at his test results!" Yells an inspector.
"He will have to attend college to get the knowledge needed to do his job or we're shutting this place down!"
"Try doing that from the bottomless pit!" Mr Burns drops them down the bottomless pit. He has a few minutes to gloat before getting another angry phone call from Mayor Quimby.
"Monty!"
...
Mr Burns and his lawyers coax the local college to let Homer attend. But they refuse.
"Mr Burns. Homer didn't even pass Third grade! He's woefully under qualified!"
Mr Burns gets up from his custom made demonic throne and tries to club the college dean, but is too weak.
"Mr Burns what are you doing?" The college dean asked.
"Giving you the thrashing of your life! Smithers help me!" Smithers gives the goons a signal and they beat up the college dean.
"Okay... he can attend..."
Jumanji, outside bazaar.
Perer left the bazaar setting foot into unforgiving heat of the desert to find Mudboy wasting time goofing off. Apparently the group of newfound friends trying to solve Alan's clue have moved on from whatever they're doing in the bazaar.
"What in the world are doing out here, Mud Boy?" he asked. "I've been ready for you for several minutes now."
Mudboy laughed a shrill, mad fit of giggles while bouncing about on his butt, splashing mud everywhere.
Peter sighed.
"Just get in here..." He dragged Mudboy along with him.
"Peabuddy don't wait up for him..." Judy sighed.
"His mud and Earth powers are useful! We just need to avoid angering him..." Peter hissed.
Judy sighed.
Mudboy broke out into fits of mad laughter and slid about by generating wet slimy waves of mud to slide about. This had the unfortunate annoyance of making the ground slippery for people as a merchant slipped in the mud and dropped fragile pots and urns. They shattered loudly.
"Now listen here, MudBoy," Judy began, her mood souring once again.
"Mudboy no listen to Bossmonster!" Mudboy sulked.
Judy hissed.
"Mudboy..." Peter asked the Mud Boy gently.
...
Mr Burns and his goons then visit the Simpsons. Homer screams when he finds them at his door.
"Would you like to come in for tea and marshmallow squares?" Marge asked politely. Marge Burns is evil...
Burns and his lawyers and goons chat. "Yes." said Blue haired lawyer.
Mr Burns explained in the dining room that Homer's job relied upon him graduating from college.
Bart giggled. "Haha! Barber or clown?"
"Bart!" Homer yelled.
"Homer your job relies on you passing college." said Mr Burns.
"Okay..." Homer groaned.
"And remember, you must find the jade monkey before the next full moon!" said Mr Burns.
"Cooooool!" said Oscar.
"Um sir, we found it in your glove compartment..." said Smithers.
"And the map and my mints?" asked Mr Burns.
"Yes sir."
"Excellent!" said Mr Burns as they all left.
"Now Homer this could be a great opportunity for you!" said Marge.
"Yeah! I always wanted to go to college! But fate stood in my way..." said Homer dreaming.
in the flash back.
"Homer just sign here and you're a shoo in." said a college teacher at a desk handing Homer paper work,
"Ha! Look! (Laughing hysterically) That dog took some guy's ham!" Homer saw a dog with ham and ran out side.
"Homer please!" the man begged but sighed in defeat as Homer chased the dog. Then he got ahold of the ham it was holding.
"Gimme that ham! Stupid dog!" Homer yelled.
The dog growled.
"Uh I don't want to know what Dad was imagining..." said Bart.
"So Dad's going to college this episode and I ain't..." Lisa said bitterly.
"Hmmmmmmmm! Sweetie when you graduate from high school you'll be going to the best college there is! Isn't that right Homer?" Marge comforted Lisa.
Homer was throttling Bart for giving a smart ass remark or something.
...
Homer is driven to college. A nerd walks past the car.
"NEEEEEEEEEERRRRRRRDDD!" He screams.
"Homer! You shouldn't make fun of people!" Marge tells him off.
"But Marge, that's what separates jocks from nerds. As a jock it's my job to give nerds a hard time. Look this guy gets it." Homer hassles a black jock. "Hey did you get a load of that nerd?"
"What?!" The man asks confused.
Walking the halls of the college.
"What has Mudboy got to do with my dad going to college?!" Bart groaned.
"Ahehehe... Mudboy..." Oscar chuckled.
Homer was shown various classes.
A course on nutrition and finding the presence of sugar or protein or starch etc in food. Ie doing that cool Benedict's solution experiment.
A teacher explained he was gonna burn a donut to test to see if there was any sugar in it. "I will now burn this donut." He burnt it with a Bunsen burner on its blue flame.
"NOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO!" Homer screamed.
Oscar winced.
"The blue flames tell us there was a lot of sugar in this donut. So it was likely a particularly sweet donut." said the teacher.
Homer was crying and weeping.
Lisa stroked his back comforting him.
They then sat in on a French course.
"Cheese omelette. En Françaus... Omelette du fromage." said the lady teacher.
Bart got stuck saying Omelette du fromage.
"Omelette du fromage! Omelette du fromage! Omelette duuuuu!" He sobbed towards the end stuck saying cheese omelette in French.
Oscar grimaced baffled.
Plot 2Later that evening Homer had to write application essays.
"Don't let the application essays throw you Dad. Oooooh! This one asks you to write abou your favourite book!"
"Is Tv Guide a book?" Homer asked.
"No..."
"Son of Sniglet?"
"No."
"Me, by Katherine Hepburn?"
"No!" said Lisa. That last one is clearly an acceptable book Lisa...
"And then that was the most I ever threw up... the end..." said Homer finishing an essay.
"You're the man Homer!" said Bart high fiving him. Marge and Lisa looked disgusted by his essay.
"Dad I think you should submit a better photograph..." said Lisa.
The photo was of Homer on his wedding night greedily eating a cake with red eyes from the camera.
Oscar screamed with laughter at the photo.
"Ow! Oz! Don't scream so loud!" Bart whined.
"Ah the photo doesn't matter. Not when they read the essay..." said Homer.
Oscar was in a fit of laughter.
"Damn it Oz! It's not that funny!" Bart yelled.
A college application team saw his um photo...
"The guy is clearly deranged or has a few screws loose..." said a woman.
"Should we even bother reading his essay?" said a guy.
"No. his picture tells us it will only be a waste of our time..."
...
The following day instead of studying Homer is watching teen comedies loosely based on college hijinks and fraternities.
Bart and Oscar were watching a weird commercial.
"Finally, the great taste of Worcester sauce, in a soft drink!" said the Commercial announcer.
"Eeeeeeew!" Bart groaned.
"Mmmmmmmm! Steaky..." said Oscar.
"Sorry boys, but there's a programme on about campus life that I really should watch." said Homer changing the channel.
"Look Bart. There's always a crusty old Dean like Bitterman..."
"I assure you Mr President that with those lads from Chuggers expelled there'll be no shenanigans to ruin today's inspection."
"Damn you Bitterman!" Homer yells at the TV.
A jock that survived the mass expulsion is behind a bush with a nerd planning to sabotage and embarrass the dean in front of the president.
"Your bra bomb better work Eugene..." says the Jock.
"Glavin!" says the nerd. He sets off the bra bomb. There is an explosion. And bras rain down on the Dean and the president (who's an expy of Nixon)
"Oooooh, um nothing to worry about Mr President... Mr President!" He is flabbergasted to see the president dancing to music while it rains bras.
"Chill out, Bitterman. I think I'll make those Chugger boys congressmen, of partying!"
Dean Bitterman growls as a bra falls on his head.
"Take that! Bitterman!" Homer yells.
Bart is shocked by his hostility towards college deans.
Homer reads all his admission letters. He failed all of them.
"D'oh! D'oh! D'oh! Oh! A DIY flyer! D'oh!"
...
"Alright Clownja got accepted into Clown barber college!" Oscar cheered.
Clownja cheered in Clownja gibberish.
"Um okay... why would a clown be an appropriate barber...?" Bart grimaced.
"I don't know. It's just funny. That's all." said Oscar.
Homer whimpered that he wouldn't get his job back.
"There there dear." Marge sighed.
Strangely Mr Burns was willing to do anything to get Homer into college. Even illegal things. "Don't worry Simpsons, it just so happens I have chair on the college admissions committee."
He arrived at their house sat on a demonic looking throne!
Oscar screamed when he saw the throne.
Bart slapped him for hurting his ears by screaming.
"Mr Burns Homer is dangerously unintelligent!" A dean explained.
"Smithers! Dismember him! And send his widow a corsage..." said Mr Burns.
Homer is accepted into a college. And Mr Smithers committed first degree murder and dismembered a poor college dean to scare the others into admitting Homer.
"Woohoo! I'm a college student! I don't need you anymore high school diploma!" He sets fire to his high school diploma hanging on the wall.
"I am so smart! I am so smart! mea T!" Homer sung as fire from his burning high school diploma spread across the house...
"Uh Dad... the house is on fire..." said Bart.
The kitchen. Clownja was doing his entrance assignment for barbershop college. Cutting the hair on doll bust/Mannequin head.
"Clownja why aren't you cutting its hair? Your assignment is due in tomorrow!" said Oscar.
Clownja in a fit of Ripper Roo laughter tried to explain he cannot pick up the scissors because he doesn't have hands.
...
At the college's first fraternity party Homer is bored because there's no alcohol allowed on campus. He spikes the punch with a strong spirit from his canteen.
A student drinks some and immediately realises it's been spiked. He interrupts the band to warn everyone.
"Everyone, the punch has been spiked!" Everyone gasps in horror. "Don't worry, you're parents will be called to pick you all up." Everyone cheers.
"Awww! Someone sucked the life out of these kids. And I bet it's some bitter old dean..." Homer whines to Marge. However the dean who's part of the college band is actually a fairly nice guy and quite young and easy going.
"And anyone who needs help studying, or just wants to rock can visit me at my office at any time!"
"Grrrr!" Homer growls.
Millicent Gelding's horse riding school.
Ralph thought Philly Steak sandwich or as he called it, Filly steak was made from horse or pony meat.
"A young female horse or pony is a filly..." said Oscar.
"No it's not horse meet Ralph! And that annoys me because I love ponies..." said Lisa.
"I should have got her a pony then she wouldn't have divorced me..." Ralph whispered to Oscar.
Oscar smirked.
Strangely intelligent Ralph arrived.
"Alas poor Yorick. I knew him." said Smart Ralph.
Oscar glared at him.
Intelligent Ralph sheds his skin and reveals he's a green xenomorph like creature.
Lisa was baffled.
At college.
"Oh Marge! College isn't fun at all! I broke a student's guitar by smashing it and he sued me! Successfully!" Homer whined.
Marge grumbled annoyed with his antics.
...
At his first lesson Homer is rude to the professor.
"Some of you are new I see. Like I say, out with the old, in with the nucleus." Everyone laughs at the professor's pun except Homer.
"I don't get it."
The professor then starts his lecture but drops his papers. "Whoops."
Homer bursts out laughing.
"I will a,so be holding review sessions after class." said the professor.
"Do we have to attend?" Homer asked.
"No..." said the professor.
"Then kiss my curvy butt goodbye!" said Homer leaving.
The professor sighed and regained his composure and spoke about science. But Homer was outside giggling and chasing squirrels round a tree with a stick.
Hospital.
"DiMaggio give this man some oxygen! Stat!" said Dr Hibbert to a paramedic who helped take Moe to hospital after Wiggle Puppy's misguided attempts to help him ride a bike.
"Bite my M.D graduate, life saving ass!" The graduate yelled.
Dr Hibbert sighed.
"Can my scrubs come in a different colour? I don't like teal..." said a ward Scrub. (The lowest rank of doctor or surgeon. Ie just gained their M.D.)
"Uh... no." said Dr Hibbert.
College, an art course.
Oscar was painting.
"Ah non! Non! Non! Detail... detail!" said the French accented art teacher adding detail to his painting of a bowl of fruit.
Oscar rolled his eyes.
...
At home Homer set up a makeshift bookcase with cinder blocks and plywood.
"Homer! We have a perfectly good bookcase over in the corner!" Marge pointed to the bookcase of mystery in the corner.
Oscar moved it aside to see the wall behind it. He touched the wall expecting it to be solid but he phased through it like it was a portal to another dimension. "Ooooooh!" He said putting his arm through the portal wall.
"Where did you get those cinder blocks?" Marge asked.
"swiped them from a building site. Don't worry, no one saw me..." said Homer.
At a building site.
"Sir six cinder blocks are missing. The children's hospital can't be completed..." said a man.
"I'll tell the children." said a white haired moustached man who sounds like Droopy.
Oscar was staring at Homer's poster of Albert Einstein making that silly face. Oscar stuck his tongue out at the poster.
"I wish college was more like Animal House." said Homer.
At College.
Homer poured alka-seltzers or fizzy indigestion tablets in the college pool.
"Who poured fizzies in the pool?!" The friendly dean asked.
"SIMPSOOOOOOOOON!" A strict dean yelled.
Then Homer delivered medical school cadavers to the alumni dinner.
The friendly dean gasped.
"SIMPSOOOOOOON!" A strict dean yelled.
Then Homer started a food fight.
The friendly dean shook his head disappointed.
"SIMPSOOOOOOOOOON!" A strict dean yelled.
...
At home.
"Homer stop goofing off at college! You need to graduate to get your job back!" Marge nagged.
"Awww lighten up Mon! For once Dad is cool!" said Bart.
Homer smiled sheepishly.
Marge seethed.
At college
The professor then demonstrates a nuclear reactor.
"Uh, I think I know how to work a nuclear reactor. I am a safety technician."
"Feel free to demonstrate then, Homer."
Homer causes another meltdown. He walks past the radiation suited scrubbers.
"In there guys."
"Thanks Homer."
Plot 3Later Homer is called to the Dean's office.
"No ones mad at you Homer, we just think you could use the extra tuition." The Dean hands over some papers.
"Very well. You win this round, but the war isn't over..." Homer says under his breath as he leaves.
The dean then gets a phone call. "Hello?"
"Hello Dean! You're a stupid head!" Homer says down the phone.
"Homer is that you?" Dean asks. Homer screams and runs off dropping the phone.
At home.
"Dad that prank wasn't funny, it was just silly..." said Bart.
His cell phone rang.
"Hello?"
"Hello Bart! You're a stupid head!" Oscar was the caller...
"Oz is that you..." Bart asked.
Oscar screamed and dropped the phone he was using. The lime cut as the call ended abruptly.
...
Homer is introduced to his dormitory mates. Three nerds.
"We are the knights who say ni! Ni! Ni!" Says Doug, Gary and Benjamin (Never Ben).
"Oh great nerds..." Homer sighs.
"Ni! Ni! Ni!" said the knights who say Ni! Aka Doug, Gary and Benjamin.
"I'll handle this." said Oscar. "It!"
The nerds screamed in pain for the word that must never be said in the presence of the knights of Ni was said.
"We're all nerds here. What did you expect college to be like? (Snorts sarcastically) A teen comedy like Animal House?" Doug explains.
"You're that nuclear safety technician who's got sent back here to get a diploma." Gary guesses.
"Uh huh."
"And now the teacher's sent you to us for extra help."
"Yes..." Homer says sadly.
"Don't look glum, Homer we'll help,you out. Just knock it off with wisecracks about us being nerds from now on ok?"
...
At home, Homer tells about his day with Doug, Gary and Benjamin.
"And then we played Dungeons and Dragons for four hours!" said Homer. "Then an elf killed me."
"Ugh! Listen to yourself! You're hanging with nerds!" Bart groans.
"They are not nerds!" Homer sulks.
"Homer these boys sound rather sweet and intellectual, but I'm afraid Bart's right! They're clearly nerds!"
"Oh but nerds are my mortal enemy!" Homer whined.
"Cooool!" said Oscar drinking the Worcester sauce flavoured drink from the commercial he saw earlier.
"There, there Dad. Nerds have brought us many things! Like popcorn magnate Orville Redenbacher!" said Lisa.
"Mmmmmmm! Popcorn..." Oscar moaned with joy and drooled.
Bart glared at him for chipping in with silly responses. Even Oscar moaning with joy like Dad when he was thinking of food was annoying.
"Sorry." said Oscar.
"Like rock star David Byrne, and like Supreme Court justice David Souter." said Lisa.
"Oh, not Souter! Oh, no!" Homer gasped and whined and buried his face into his hands.
...
The next day in class.
The professor announces the schedule which Homer is massively behind.
"Oh no! It's like one of those horrible nightmares where you're in your underwear!" He sees he attended class in his underwear. "Aaaaaaagh!" He runs out screaming while his classmates laugh at him.
In his dorm his friends tell him he needs to study for the upcoming exam on the periodic table.
"Eh I'll write it down on my hand..." said Homer.
"Ha! And all lanthanides and actinides? Ha! Good luck!" Benjamin laughed.
Then Homer suggested they go on a road trip.
"Okay but let me get my snow pants." said Doug.
Homer was packing the car with beers.
"Homer if your going on a road trip, take the kids." said Marge.
"No." said Homer.
Marge grumbled annoyed.
"Homer, Doug spilt his ear medicine..." said Benjamin.
Homer growled annoyed.
Marge made it up for the kids by taking them to the park while wearing stupid sailor hats Homer made for his nerd friends.
"Oh! It was so cute the way the ducklings would let you walk right up to them!" said Lisa.
Bart looked extremely bored by the day out.
"Ducky ducky duckies! Haaaaaaawwwwww!" Oscar squealed playing with a duckling.
"Oscar you have to give that duckling back to its mother!" Marge explained.
"No I don't." said Oscar.
And just to spite Homer, Marge took Hugo. Causing embarrassing questions.
"So... that thing is my Siamese twin brother..." said Bart.
...
Meanwhile on the road trip.
"Homer I really need to use the bathroom!" Benjamin asked.
"I told you to go a few blocks ago in that gas station!" Homer groaned.
"Yes but someone knocked on the door and I couldn't go..." Benjamin whined.
...
In the dorm Homer is bored.
"Do you guys do anything besides work? And rpgs..."
"Homer I need to get my diploma in philosophy so I can get a job." Gary replies.
"Yeah. What did you expect us to be doing?" Said Doug.
"Come on! Don't you ever do any pranks?"
"No because then we'd get expelled..."
"You guys are so boring! Just a little prank... We roll the dean up in a carpet and throw him off a cliff!"
"Uh, that doesn't sound fun. In fact it sounds like attempted murder." Benjamin winces.
Bart scrapes the blackboard with his nails making a horrible screeching sound that hurts everyone's ears.
"So it's a prank hey..." Bart somehow followed Homer to college.
"Why is there a kid on the campus?" Gary asks.
...
"Our plan is simple. We kidnap Sir Oinksalot, the college mascot." Bart shows some photos. "Here's Sir Oinksalot with President Nixon, and here he is rolling about in mud."
"And then we roll him up in a carpet and throw him off a cliff!" Homer adds.
"No." Bart looks at him as if he said something something really stupid.
...
They have Sir Oinksalot in a truck.
"Now what?" Asks Benjamin.
"We wait until everyone notices him missing and demand a ransom note, but then release him." Bart explains.
Homer is then playing with Sir Oinksalot's tail. "Look at his tail! Curly straight! Curly straight! Hehehe! Curly! Straight!" Sir Oinksalot is getting stressed.
"I don't think he likes that Homer..." Benjamin warns.
Homer keeps playing with his tail. Eventually Sir Oinksalot bites him. "Ow! Why you little-!" He tries to attack Sir Oinksalot but Bart and the nerds restrain him.
"Dad no!" "Homer! No!" However an electric current shocks them. And Homer whales on the pig.
"Oscar! He's killing him!" Bart yells at Oscar who used his electric joy buzzer again.
"No he's not. Besides the vicious little hog deserves it!"
"How would you like it if I kept pulling at your ears or your hair or poked you or..." Bart lists things he could do to annoy.
"I'd like that very much..." said Oscar.
...
Homer then gives Sir Oinksalot beer.
"That pig looks pretty sick Homer..." Doug is concerned by Sir Oinksalot's wellbeing. The bruised and drunk pig stumbles about.
Meanwhile in the Dean's office. "That sounds like a drunk pig stumbling about!"
Unfortunately the college staff find Sir Oinksalot and a helicopter winch takes him away to a vet.
Richard Nixon is furious.
"I'm sorry boys. I've never had to expel anyone before. But that pig had some powerful friends..." says the dean.
"You'll pay for this! Don't think you won't pay!" Yells Richard Nixon.
...
The nerds leave only for Snake to pose as a wallet inspector and steal their wallets.
"That's not the wallet inspector! Oh no! They'll never survive in the real world! I have to help them!"
...
Homer tells Marge the news.
"You what?!"
"It's just until they get back on their feet..." Homer explains.
"Mrs Simpson. We all have nosebleeds..." says Benjamin. The nerds have nosebleeds.
"Hrrrrrmmmmm!" Marge groans.
...
Marge goes to use the phone but it makes a horrible screeching sound. "What is that awful sound?"
"That sound is our dial up Internet connection." said Benjamin.
"(snort!) Yeah some nerds at college are posting on a forum reasons why they think Picard is better at being captain than Kirk." said Gary.
"They're out of their minds! Hehehe!" said Doug.
"Dial up! What the heck Doug!" Homer yells ripping out their cable. The nerds yell.
"Guys broadband is a thing now. And it's cheaper and you can still use the phone while someone's online..." Lisa explains. The next week Doug, Gary and Benjamin install broadband in the Simpsons house.
...
Bart and Lisa are watching a special episode of Itchy and Scratchy where scratchy finally kills Itchy, he seems to be really making sure Itchy dies as he attaches dynamite and plastic explosive to him,
Benjamin pulls out the plug for the TV.
"Aaaaaaaagh!"
"Sorry kids but we need to plug in the modem." Benjamin explains.
"Put it in! Put it in!"
"What the modem or the TV?"
"The TV! The TV!" Bart and Lisa yell.
He put it back in but they missed the episode and Krusty cheered saying it would never be shown again. Not in a million years!"
Bart and Lisa screamed.
Then ironically everyone called a family meeting on Homer to discuss the nerds.
"Dad prepare to dig some nerd graves..." Bart said harshly.
"It's bad enough they wash their retainers in the dish washer!" Lisa whined.
"So? I washed my retainer in the dishwasher!" said Oscar's friend Irreep, who happens to be a girl but she's not interested in love. Or perhaps just boys.
"Eeeeeew! Irreep..." Oscar groaned.
"Marge back me up here!" Homer whined.
"No! Those geeks have to go!" Marge said sharply.
Plot 4At class.
"Do we have to attend this lecture?" Homer asks.
"Well, not really..." the professor replies.
"Well then kiss my curvy butt goodbye!" Homer walks out of class. The professor decides to continue his lecture while shuffling papers.
"Anyway... I-" However outside Homer is chasing squirrels around a tree with a stick. Again...
Outside.
"Homer grow up... That's only funny for a few moments..." Oscar sighed as Homer chased after squirrels.
Homer giggled like a girl while chasing two squirrels with a stick.
...
Meanwhile the Simpsons visit the clown barber college where Clownja is cutting client's hair.
"What did you expect? It's a barbershop staffed entirely by clowns!" said Oscar.
"Oz you're a freakin' moron..." said Bart sighing.
It's Homer's exam.
"Aaaaaaaagh! I'm doomed!" Homer screams. "No wait maybe I can hide in the janitor's closet!"
"Or you can cram like you've never crammed before!" Benjamin explains. The nerds try various things to make him study. He even punches one of them for waking him.
Homer fails his test.
"An F. Homer you need to retake the test." Gary explains.
"Can't you use a computer to you know change my grade?" Homer asks.
"Well technically, but that's cheating." Gary asks.
...
"Homer that's a terrible thing to teach your kids. You're gonna take that test again and without cheating!" Marge nags.
"Awww but we need to get rid of those nerds, they're annoying everyone..." Bart and Lisa nod. "... And I need to get back to working or it's spam for dinner again!"
"Eeeeeeugh! Spam!" Bart whines.
"I don't like spam!" Oscar screamed in falsetto dressed as a woman.
"Oh god no! No Monty Python Oz!" Bart screamed.
"Homer I won't have you teach our children, especially Bart that cheating is acceptable!"
"Dad this'll come back to bite you the next safety inspection..." Lisa adds.
"Enough! I am so sick of your holier than thou attitude! Peter, Lois..." Oscar fetches the Griffins. "Tell them that Homer needs to get his pass more than being honest...
"Yeah he's the only one earning any money it's important he gets that pass even if he cheats." said Lois.
"Lois that's a terrible lesson!" said Brian ashamed with her.
"Shut up, Brian!" said Peter.
"Ok fine! Just get those awful people out of here!" Marge yells. The Griffins leave. "Fine its your diploma! You do what you want!"
"Woohoo!" Homer cheers.
"I hate you!" Lisa says to Oscar before walking off.
"Feelings mutual, dork!" Oscar replied.
...
The nerds alter Homer's grade and he returns to work. There is a chicken at his work station pecking the buttons.
"Okay Duncan you can go home now." said Homer taking the chicken and sending it to waddle off as he sat down at his work station.
On his first day back he blows up the entire town.
"Oops..."
Homer stood as the own was now in ruins.
"Am i the last man alive..." Homer looked at his hands.
"No homer. We all mutated." Lenny said
"Oh im not mutated!" Homer said
"Look in this mirror." Carl said
"Right... WHAT THE HELL HAPPENED TO ME! IVE GOT A CHICKEN BUTT!" Homer screamed