Chapter 18
Logan returned home much later than he'd planned and was met by the stares of all three of his children. Theo and Eléa were seated by the kitchen island, while Liam was cooking something, eggs by the smell of it. It was closer to noon than morning, and honestly Logan was getting a self-reprimanding flash-back to a handful of years ago, when coming home like this had been usual for him. At times he'd been hung over, at times... he'd hardly remembered where or with whom he'd spent the night. At times he'd lost days. But never before to his knowledge had his kids been so aware of his entrance as they seemed to be now.
"Good morning," Logan said in a clear voice, trying to at least show his kids that he wasn't hungover.
He was sure Liam and Theo could put two and two together and assume his date had gone well, while Eléa maybe not getting down to the specifics but probably knowing the general direction of things. He knew that there was no point in pretending otherwise. He wasn't used to hiding the fact that he went out, had fun and occasionally enjoyed the company of women. Hell, in the UK, he'd even ended up on a few gossip sites as a result and the kids were by no means oblivious to that. He knew that he hadn't been a terribly good role model for the older kids - but wasn't that better than sitting at home, being unhappy? He had never quite answered that question, almost having believed that finding sparks of momentary happiness was what he was entitled to. Maybe all that he was entitled to? And he believed, it was sparks of that same happiness he was able to provide his kids with by giving them their fancy toys and liberties.
"Morning," Liam replied, as the other two mumbled something similar in response.
Logan wondered whether Liam had told the others about his exact whereabouts. He wasn't sure if they'd figured out that he hadn't even left the street.
"You're making eggs. Good," Logan exhaled, approvingly, feeling relieved his kids were actually resourceful enough not to just go for Door Dash at the first signs of hunger.
"You want some? Or have you eaten?" Liam asked, giving Logan a look that was a little annoyed, despite his initially polite greeting.
"I've eaten. Thank you," Logan tried to reply politely. Rory had treated him to her very special cereal mix, which had indeed been unexpectedly delicious. And she did make excellent coffee.
But he could just feel how Liam was mad at him just like the other two. He couldn't quite pinpoint why though.
"Okay, what's going on?" Logan turned to face his two youngest, demanding some explanation. Had he forgotten about some promise he'd made? it wasn't anyone's birthday was it? He was sure, it wasn't - May 10th, May 25th, October 7th - he repeated the vital dates to himself.
"Is this going to happen a lot now?" Theo inquired. "I mean, I'm all for unsupervised living, however I'd rather…," he continued, sounding surprisingly upset.
Logan could imagine something along the lines of him getting his sons a place of their own following.
"Just hold on!" Logan stopped him, not appreciating his tone.
"No, dad! Please I do believe you owe us an explanation," Liam said, playing oblivious and therefore confusing Logan a little. He'd known with whom Logan had been last night, after all.
"About where I was?" Logan reflected, squinting his nose. It was not like they'd ever really cared before.
"I thought something might've happened to you," Eléa replied, her French accent still being evident.
"We were just talking about how we wished Camilla was still around," Liam added, referring to their housekeeper back in London. Camilla had abided by Logan's rules, giving the kids a lot of freedom just the same. She, however, had been like the solid cornerstone of their household for at least the past decade. The one to sign their school permits and report cards, make sure the fridge was stocked, their clothes washed and their tuition paid. There had been times where Camilla had been the equivalent of a parent too, and that was something Logan was not terribly proud of. It had been Camilla that had provided the kids with a feeling of security instead of Logan.
"You promised things would be different," Theo accused his father.
"Hey, look. I'm sorry, I'm home later than I planned. I just slept late," Logan replied, innocently, having not expected such an inquisition.
"Are you going to tell us where you were?" Eléa asked.
Liam looked down, clearly knowing the answer already.
"Okay, fine!" Logan exhaled. "I'm sorry. Fine, I'll tell you. But I just want you to try to view this calmly and not make this into a big deal. I just… I had a date with Ms. Gilmore, from next door. And I ended up staying over," Logan continued, trying to stick to the facts.
"Ugh, gross, Dad," Eléa replied, making it clear she was disgusted by the thought of her dad's sex life.
Liam was more mature about it, and therefore the only one not making a face at his words. It was not something any kid liked to hear about.
"God, Dad. Can't you just like… find someone who isn't my friend's mother?" Eléa continued, having very much her mother's fierceness.
"I'm sorry. But I don't see it should matter whose mother she is. Believe me I didn't pick her for whose mother she was. We can't choose who we like, okay?" Logan defended himself.
"You didn't answer my question before. Is this what is going to happen now? You being away more than here, and we'll be lucky to see you just like before?" Theo accused him hitting a sore spot.
"No, of course not!" Logan argued, feeling a bang of guilt. Of course he knew he'd made this mistake before, he just really didn't understand how big of a deal it had been for them.
"How is this any different!?" Theo scolded him.
"Am I not allowed to have a social life?" Logan replied, making his eyes wide. He was very close to asserting himself, but truthfully, he wasn't terribly used to doing it. Hence, his insecurity showed through a little.
"Not with my friend's mom!" Eléa objected.
"That's not fair, Eléa!" Logan exclaimed, but that resulted in Eléa marching away from the kitchen, leaving her half-eaten egg right there, and marching up the stairs to her bedroom.
The boys were quiet, and Theo continued to reluctantly eat the eggs Liam had just plated for him. He didn't look like he had much of an appetite left though.
Honestly, Logan hadn't expected this reaction. He hadn't expected the kids to mind his absence or the fact that he had had a date. Besides, it was not like he'd been away for three days or something. He was here, and sober. What was so bad about this?
"I am just seeing her. It's not like she's moving in or changing your lives around, is she? How is this hurting you?" Logan shot back, defending himself.
"It's fine with me… just, would be good to know where you are," Liam replied, seeing the other side of this.
"Look, I'm sorry. I forgot to charge my phone," Logan replied. "It was not my intention to make you worry," he added, keeping to himself how he'd been just next door. It was probably why he hadn't thought much about it, feeling like his kids had been just within reach anyways.
"Yeah-yeah," Theo mumbled sarcastically, clearly still being angry at him. He took his plate and took it down to the basement where the rec room was, where the guys usually watched their movies and played computer games.
Logan couldn't quite place what was making them so annoyed with him. Sure, Eléa had a reason to be upset with him for dating her friend's mother. That he should've perhaps guessed, especially after talking to Liam last night about it. But he hadn't expected Theo to care. But Theo was a challenge to figure out as it was.
Logan looked at Liam, who was about to start eating his own food, questioningly, hoping for his eldest to explain this to him. But he didn't seem to be offering.
"What's with him?" Logan asked Liam.
"You wouldn't know, would you?," Liam scoffed at him, and followed his brother's lead, leaving Logan clueless.
He sighed, and made his way to his bedroom, aiming to take a shower and change into some fresh clothes, desperately trying to recall what this was about. At the same time, he felt unexpectedly relieved that he'd told them, keeping his earlier promise to Liam. He now felt he could be more open about seeing Rory, not that he was entirely sure it'd be looked well upon by the kids. Hence, his excitement to see Rory soon again was shadowed by concern - how much was too much? How soon was too soon? He was thinking more so about what the kids thought than what would be too soon or too much according to Rory, somehow trusting they were in sync with the thrill of this 'something' they'd discovered.
Remaining tentative to his kids' moods, Logan stayed home for the rest of the day, making sure to cook his kids' favorite foods and trying to engage them into doing something together. But the boys seemed intent on finishing the level they were on in their video game, and Eléa had hardly emerged from her room since he'd gotten back. He felt clueless, just like he had many times.
So much for that idea - he thought to himself.
It was for those reasons Logan opted to spending his evening on the living room couch, and putting on some show he knew Eléa liked to watch - some fantasy action show he'd never really gotten into before - hoping to if not lure her out, to simply understand a little better what being a 12-year-old meant.
He could see a little glimpse of Rory in her back yard, and honestly every cell in his body craved to go talk to her, even if it was a simple over-the-fence conversation. He would've loved to have dinner with her or just enjoy a glass of wine, even tea or coffee would've been fine. The pull he felt was just so strong. But he knew that after this morning, he was better not upsetting Eléa even more, not at least until he figured out what this was about.
Hence, he picked up his phone.
"My kids sort of demanded I tell them where I was this morning. So I told them," Logan texted, then adding, "So just a heads up, in case Eléa tells Corinne."
"What did they say?" Rory replied, sitting curled up in her long cardigan on her porch swing, just mere 60-feet from him, separated by a few walls, shrubbery and the fence.
"Liam was fine, he knew," Logan replied.
"He did?" Rory shot back.
"He asked me last night, and I don't like to lie to them. He's grown up - pretty much," Logan replied.
"18 is grown up these days? I certainly wasn't at that age," Rory replied, kind of curious to keep talking about more than just the fact that Logan had revealed to his kids about having a date.
"More or less," Logan replied, adding a cheeky smiley face.
"And the others?" Rory asked, feeling hesitant within.
"Not how I expected," Logan began. "It was almost as if they were mad at me. But I cannot figure out why," he added.
"Well, I can guess Eléa might not appreciate it because she might worry that if things go south, or whatever, that it might affect her friendship with Cor," Rory typed in reply.
"That's what I thought," Logan replied, having tried to think up various scenarios by now.
"Maybe something similar for Theo, too?" Rory discussed adding a shrugging emoji. She really wasn't sure what was going on between the two, recalling Corinne's discouraged comment about him as she'd left for Boston.
"I don't know," Logan typed, and sighed audibly.
"Well, if we promise to be civil about things no matter what then I don't really see there being any big issue with the kids. It's not like I'm going to stop allowing Cor to hang out with them if you turn out to be a jerk or something," Rory replied, adding a smiley.
"Exactly!" Logan wrote, feeling relieved she was seeing it this way. Honestly, he couldn't even imagine anything going wrong with them. If they decided they didn't work - that would be that. And Rory didn't seem like the drama queen. "Anything we need to talk over?" he added, just to be safe.
"I guess we can agree that we're just having fun?" Rory typed, deciding to start with something innocent.
"I certainly am," Logan replied, Rory being able to picture his smirk as he'd sent that message.
"Good," Rory replied.
"I am not sure what's your take on this or whether this even matters while 'having fun', but in my experience to most women it does matter in some extent. So, I'll just say it now that I'm not going around looking for any other relationships," Logan typed and pressed send, momentarily regretting his wording. "I mean, it doesn't need to be exclusive if you don't want it to be. I'm just expressing my intentions. I'm happy where things are at now and see no reason to look for anything more," he added, knowing how more than anything having multiple relationships at the same time tended to be exhausting.
"Well, you're talking to a spinster teacher here. All I'm missing is the cats," Rory decided to reply, feeling strangely moved by his statement, reading actually his nervousness through those words.
"You can't possibly expect me to believe that. Someone as hot as you.," Logan replied, flirtingly.
"I am very different when in my work mode back home," Rory replied.
"I'll consider myself lucky then for getting to see this other side of you," Logan continued to flatter her.
"I just meant that when I am here, I've never actually dated anyone… it's always been my 'me time'," Rory replied.
"Sorry for crowding in on your 'me time'," Logan replied, adding an apologetic emoji.
"I'm really not complaining," Rory typed.
"And anytime you feel like doing something. Talking or… whatever," Logan began. "You're free to tell me, okay? No three-day rules and other stupid stuff," he added.
"Deal," Rory agreed, biting her lip with excitement.
"How do you think Corinne will take it? Do you think she and Eléa text?" Logan asked, hearing Eléa put on some music upstairs. The music quieted down, meaning she'd probably connected her phone to her headphones.
"I don't think she'll be surprised. Not sure if she'll be happy but I don't intend to rub it in either. She's a little touchy about potential 'new daddies'," Rory typed, adding - "Just kidding. Thankfully, she too, has a sense of humor."
Logan was just beginning to realize how messy this really was - just fun or not. Kids, exes, families.
"I kind of hope she'll talk to Eléa though. I am worried about her. She seems so alone," Logan said.
"Have you tried talking to her?" Rory suggested the obvious.
"I've never really known how. With the boys it's easier," Logan replied.
"Yeah, I know the age… they might just feel like pouting despite what you try," Rory commented. "But I think you do have to try. At that age, things can spiral pretty fast," she added.
Logan felt like adding that Eléa was still seeing her therapist online, but he knew it to be rather personal, hence he held off. It wasn't essential information. And in that sense, he was relieved that Eléa was speaking to someone. How much use it was, was another story, however. And that he had no control over. All he saw were the invoices.
"I feel like if I just go up there and knock on her door, I'll just end up coming off defensive or too assertive. I feel I can't force my way into her space. I've always wanted to be their friend rather than their parent. I'm just not sure whether as a parent I actually have the right to demand them to let me have a life too or not? Is their temper tantrum enough of a reason to bury my own wishes and desires," Logan replied, thinking the latter slightly seductively even if it didn't come off that way via text too well.
"Then just text her? Or take her somewhere. What does she like to do?" Rory suggested.
"Honestly, I wish I knew. Last year I thought it was one thing, when I suggested it some months later, I was the lamest guy on the planet, it seemed," Logan replied.
"LOL," Rory typed, knowing well what that could be like.
They continued to talk for a while, Logan telling Rory a little bit more about Eléa and what he knew of her, and Rory trying to think up things for the two of them to try to do together to improve their relationship. Theo was still left to deal with, but Logan wanted to believe he could manage him on his own, not wanting to label himself a complete failure just yet. But inside, he knew it wasn't as easy. But most importantly, Logan found talking to someone about his kids surprisingly fulfilling. He didn't just want Rory to have sex with her or to flirt with her, but he wanted her company in other ways too, even if she was essentially just someone to bounce ideas off of that evening and offer him an ear to listen to his troubles. It was just so easy with her - and honestly, he struggled to fully comprehend things could be so simple. It seemed too good, too easy, to be true.
AN: I struggled with this chapter a bit - I don't have teenagers myself so I'm trying to guess what they might care about. Please also keep in mind that there's probably more damage under the surface which we've jet to find out about as well. But either way - I hope you enjoyed this chapter. Your comments and thoughts are very welcome!