Lisa's Substitute Lisa gets a cool substitute teacher who's a cowboy, Bart applies to be Student body president to spite Martin after his friends encourage his bad behaviour and I rewrite bits of this episode I don't like.
PlotSecond grade are waiting for Miss Hoover as she's strangely late.
There is anarchy as a result except for Lisa who is reading. Also for some odd reason the black weasel of Nelson's two minions he calls the weasels was in Lisa's class.
"Where's Miss Hoover? It's not like her to be late." asked a kid.
"Maybe she fell down a well." said Janey.
"Janey..." Lisa gave her a concerned look. Everyone remembers the time Bart fell down a well after fooling the town with his Timmy O'toole story.
"Oh that's right. Didn't your brother fall down a well?" Janey asked smugly.
"Yes he did now knock it off!" Lisa yelled.
"I heard she got dumped again." said a girl.
"I heard she went to the moon." said Ralph because he has a crayon in his brain or something.
Suddenly Miss Hoover came in crying followed by Skinner comforting her.
"Children I'm going to be off sick for a while because I have Lyme disease." Miss Hoover explained. "Principal Skinner will stay until your substitute arrives." said Miss Hoover.
"Miss Hoover what is Lyme disease?" Ralph asked.
"It's where you become a lime..." said Oscar being silly.
"No Oz..." Lisa sighed.
"I'll answer that Elizabeth." said Skinner. He began writing on the board. "Lyme disease is caused by a parasitic tick sucking on your blood." Miss Hoover sounded like she was about to throw up. "Spirochete are released into the bloodstream where they infect the spinal cord and then the brain."
"Oh god the brain!" Miss Hoover fainted into Mr Largo's arms.
"Don't worry Elizabeth, I'll run things from here." said Skinner as she was escorted out in tears.
"Don't worry children, Miss Hoover will be as right as rain soon!" said Principal Skinner. "Now turn to page fifty two of your textbooks. Ah, subtraction!"
Suddenly we hear kids screaming from upstairs. For some odd reason Bart's class is above Lisa's.
"Ooooooh! I know that's you Bart Simpson!" Skinner yells shaking his fist.
...
Meanwhile up in fourth grade Bart has a rather graphic video for show and tell.
"And then Snowball had kittens." said Bart.
"Awwwww!" The kids awwwwd.
"But she ate two." said Bart. The kids screamed because his slideshow/video presumably was showing Snowball eating her kittens.
"Mrs Krabappel! He's traumatising the children!" Martin explained.
"Quite so Martin. Bart turn that off and sit down!" Edna krabappel told Bart off.
"Wait this is really cool! If I hit reverse I can make them go back in!" said Bart. He hit reverse.
The kids screamed.
...
Back in second grade, Skinner is drawing a Shwa on the board.
"No don't be alarmed kids. This is a shwa." Skinner explained.
Suddenly a cowboy bursted in and shot him with a blank gun. Skinner screamed and hid under the teacher's desk. The kids cheered.
"What is wrong with you?! Don't you know I'm a Vietnam Veteran!? I have shell shock!" Skinner yelled at Mr Bergstrom.
"Um no. I'm a cowboy. I shoot things." said Mr Bergstrom.
Skinner soon worked out the cowboy was their substitute teacher. "Ah, children, this is your substitute teacher Mr Bergstrorm, I'll leave you now in his care.
The kids cheered as Skinner left.
"Hi kids. My name is Mr Bergstrom, feel free to make fun of it. My suggestions are Mr NerdStrom and Mr Booger Strom."
The kids giggle. Hehehe, boogers...
"Okay kids, now as you can see I'm a cowboy from 1830, now any questions?" asked Mr Bergstrom.
"Can we play kickball?" asked a kid.
"Kickball? Kid there ain't no kickball in 1830," Mr Bergstrom explained, "any other questions? You in the back eating paste."
"Did you time travel here on Doc Brown's train?" Ralph asked.
"Uh... uh... Kids I need to take a call out in the hall." Mr Bergstrom left in a hurry.
In the hall.
"Doc, they're on to me!" said Mr Bergstrom into a steampunk phone thingamajig.
"Great Scott! That tarnishes my plan to send Jules and Verne to that school!" came the reply.
Mr Bergstrom hurried back in. "Okay all eyes on me please. Now I will give a reward to the first kid who notices the three things wrong with my costume. Anyone? You little lady with the starfish hair."
He asked Lisa who had her hand up eagerly.
"What's your name missy?" asked the teacher.
"Lisa Simpson, sir." said Lisa.
"Well Lisa, can you tell me what is wrong with my costume?"
"I think I can." said Lisa.
"Well go on Lisa." said the teacher.
"Well first off. Your belt says State of Texas. But Texas wasn't a state until 1845." said Lisa.
"Excellent. What else Lisa?"
"The revolver wasn't around until 1835." said Lisa.
"Very Good! And don't worry kids, this is a pop gun. I know my second amendment rights, but I also know not to enter a school campus packing a real six shooter." said Mr Bergstrom.
"Finally you seem to be Jewish." said Lisa.
"Are you sure?" said Mr Bergstrom.
"That or Italian?" Lisa asked.
"I'm Jewish." said Mr Bergstrom.
"I don't believe there were any Jewish cowboys sir." said Lisa.
"And lastly I'm wearing a digital watch but I'll accept that. Congratulations Lisa you win my hat." He put his cowboy hat on her. She giggled. "And for the record there were some Jewish cowboys, big guys who liked to spend money freely."
...
In fourth grade.
"Class you will be nominating a student body president. I'm not allowed to vote but may I suggest Martin." said Krabappel.
Martin got up and delivered his speech. "I shall demand an ABC of our finest masters of science fiction in our school library! Asimov! Bester! Clarke!"
"What about Bradbury?" Wendell his Vice President asked.
"I'm aware of his work!" Martin said dismissively.
"What about H G Wells." Oscar asked. Kid with shades threw a ball of screwed up paper at him. "What? I like sci fi! Especially with lasers and evil aliens!"
"What about H G Wells?" Martin mimicked him sarcastically. "We're doing them alphabetically Oscar! Now I end my speech with one thing. Keep watching the skies!"
Edna gave him a round of applause. "Excellent Martin. And don't worry Oscar and Wendell all of your favourite science fiction authors will be added to our school library if you vote for Martin."
...
In second grade Mr Bergstrom allowed the kids to eat in class. He was singing an old cowboy song.
He stopped in front Janey after the first line. "Actually the range was far from home, it was a dangerous and desolate place full of disease."
He sung another line before stopping before Albino Ralph. "Exceptt rather inefficient Indian cowboys who only used the tongue of the antelope."
The real Ralph was in the background wondering why in this episode, probably because of early season weirdness there was a fat albino kid eating.
"Eeeeeew!" the class groaned.
Mr Bergstrom could see Lisa putting up her hand. "Oh and for your information class when I say Indian cowboys I mean they're from India. I don't want any mention of red indians while I teach this class! They're Native Americans, you're all just holding a lease on their land for a while."
Lisa smiled knowingly.
Mr Bergstrom sung another line. He stopped at a black girl with big hair to explain to her a line of the song and facts. Probably about how cacti only grow in American deserts. Different deserts have different succulent plants evolving there.
Anyway it's early season weirdness again as Lisa has weird classmates like an albino kid, That kid that wanted her to do his homework, a black girl with an Afro with a comb in it.
...
In fourth grade
"Class since there are no contending candidates I shall-" Krabappel started to speak.
"We nominate Bart! Speech! Speech!" Sherri and Terri nominated Bart.
Bart got up to deliver his speech. "I had a speech, but my dog ate it!" said Bart.
Everyone laughed and cheered.
"Bart I need someone to deliver this note to the principal! Can you do it?" Mrs Krabappel asked.
The note read "Keep Bart occupied."
"Why Mrs Krabappel! How would I know where the principal's office is?" Bart asked being silly and smart alecky. His friends laughed and cheered
"Bart! Bart! Bart! Bart!" they cheered as he went to deliver the note.
"Children! When will you all learn to stop encouraging him! When Bart gets praise for acting like a fool-" Krabappel ranted.
"Look! Bart!" Milhouse yelled. Bart was pulling a face by pressing his mouth against the door glass and breathing. His friends laughed and cheered. Mrs krabappel sighed.
...
In second grade, Mr Bergstrom was reading Charlotte's Web. He got to the very upsetting end.
"And of of all the people at the fair, none knew it was all down to a small grey spider. And no one was with her when she died..." Mr Bergstrom read the end with a lump in his throat.
Lisa was sobbing loudly into her arms.
...
Later after everyone cheered up Mr Bergstrom asked everyone for their talents. Janey was too shy.
"I can't!" said Janey.
"Sure you can! You must have a talent!" said Mr Bergstrom.
"Well I can do this." Janey touched the bottom of her nose with her tongue.
"Wonderful." said Mr Bergstrom.
Ralph made a noise by pulling his cheeks.
"Excellent." said the teacher.
A blond kid turned his eye lids inside out.
"That's disgusting. But I love it!" said Mr Bergstrom.
Lisa was also too shy.
"Come on Lisa. Straight As. I know you still have a talent on top of that somewhere. Surprise me." said Mr Bergstrom.
"Well... I play the saxophone!" said Lisa taking out her saxophone.
"Wonderful! Let's hear a tune!" said Mr Bergstrom.
Lisa started playing jazz.
Everyone cheered.
Mr Bergstrom enjoyed the music by clicking his fingers.
After a while Lisa finished.
"Lisa you are very talented young girl! Oops I'm supposed to be non biased. Don't worry kids you're all wonderful!" said Mr Bergstrom. Everyone cheered.
"Thanks Mr Bergstrom!" Lisa was touched. None of her teachers ever encouraged her.
"Lisa you'll never amount to anything with that awful racket!" said Mr Largo at the window. Because he is a jerk.
"Ignore him Lisa, I'll have words with him at lunch." said Mr Bergstrom.
It was then home time. Everyone cheered and went home. Lisa stayed behind and eavesdropped on Mrs Krabappel and Mr Bergstrom talking.
Basically Mrs Krabappel got wind there was a hot new, sexy Male teacher and was trying to seduce him...
However Mr Bergstrom was either oblivious to her wooing him or wasn't the slightest bit interested.
"I am the emperor of eavesdropping!" said Cheatsey Koopa. He stopped to apply more green eye shadow to his shiny green eyelids.
Lisa sighed exasperated.
"Why would a boy wear make up..." she asked.
"Why can't I?" The young Koopa asked. A race of fire breathing turtles. However only the royal family of the Koopas get to breath fire and evolve spiked shells. Presumably some kind of mutant genes.
Plot 2The teachers were chatting in the staff room.
"I haven't been a mrs since Mr Krabappel walked out on me..." said Edna.
"I'm sorry. Teaching can put a strain on marriage." said Mr Bergstrom.
"I need a substitute to teach me the ways of love..." said Mrs Krabappel.
"Mrs Krabappel are you trying to seduce me?" asked Mr Bergstrom.
"I'm sorry." Said Mrs Krabappel quickly.
"I'm sorry but you're not my type. It's the children I love." said Mr Bergstrom.
"Eeeeew!" cried the narrator.
"I meant platonically! I respect them and want to nurture them!" yelled Mr Bergstrom.
...
At Home Lisa was going on about Mr Bergstrom at dinner. She was going on how he shows his teeth when he smiles. "And when he really smiles you see these teeth!"
Bart was looking bored and doing chit chat hand gestures.
"Bart. You'll like him!" said Lisa.
"How can I like a teacher? They're boring!" said Bart.
"Well... he's a cowboy." Lisa explained. Bart's face lit up. "And he's Jewish like Krusty!"
"Lisa I don't like every Jewish person..." Bart replied. "And I like Krusty for being funny. Not because of his religion..."
Conversation then led to Lisa praising Mr Bergstrom again. "And then he read us Charlotte's web and cried at the end."
Bart and Homer started laughing hysterically. "He cried at a book!"
Lisa sighed.
...
At lunch.
"Remember no one returns from lunch without two types rock. Sedimentary and Igneous!" said Mr Bergstrom as everyone left for lunch. "Lisa I'd like a word."
"Yes Mr Bergstrom?" Lisa asked.
"Your homework is so neat! And I loved giving you extra marks for your debate on Egyptian mythology! Did your father help you?" Mr Bergstrom asked.
"No, my dad's not really academic..." said Lisa.
"Oh well mine could-" Mr Bergstrom explained.
"Well mine can't." Lisa replied interrupting.
"Lisa, let me finish please." said Mr Bergstrom.
"Sorry Mr Bergstrom, but unless it was anything other than 'Mine could burp' I'm not interested..." Lisa replied disappointed in her father.
...
Meanwhile in fourth grade Bart and Martin were debating in front of the class.
"This school has 65 cubic meters of asbestos per student! I say we need more asbestos! More asbestos! More asbestos!" Bart yells starting a rallying cry of "More asbestos!" Yeah this episode was really weird...
"Hey!" Oscar interrupts.
"Yes Vice President..." Bart asks his Vice President candidate/running mate.
"Have you all gone nuts?! Asbestos is extremely toxic! Its fibres cause lung diseases and lung cancer!" Oscar ranted.
Bart and the kids looked around awkwardly. "I uh- just got caught up in a rallying chant... Okay everyone. No asbestos! No asbestos! No asbestos!"
Everyone chanted "No asbestos!" Repeatedly.
Bart was in the school newspaper. He and his friends were reading it at recess.
"Wow! You're well on the way to becoming president Simpson!" said Nelson.
"President eh? I like the sound of that!" said Bart.
"You've got to be even more ruthless though! Really let into that dork!" said Nelson.
"My Dad wanted to be president, but my Grampa kept calling him a Melonhead and said there were things in place to stop yutzes like him becoming president." said Bart.
In another debate.
"Martin says there's no easy answers! I say he's not looking hard enough!" Bart yelled.
Martin was lost for words. As the debate continued he started sweating.
...
In second grade they were writing get well cards for Miss Hoover.
Ralph was writing his. "Dear Miss Hoover, Hope you get better from Lime disease. Signed Ralph, Ps. Kevin keeps biting me! PPs. Here's a picture of a kitty!" said Ralph.
"Yeeeowch! Teacher! He bit me again!" Ralph whined. A feral kid was biting Ralph's arm.
"Kevin do I have to send you to the principal's office?" Mr Bergstrom ordered Kevin to stop biting Ralph and sit down.
Lisa winced.
Soon class was dismissed.
"Remember everyone! The museum of Egyptian history is shutting down in two weeks! Make sure you see it!" said Mr Bergstrom.
"Braaaaaaiiiiins!" Oscar had mummified himself in toilet roll again...
Lisa winced.
"Oz I doubt the pharaohs came back from the dead to scare tomb robbers..."
"What about curses?" Oscar asked squinting.
"I doubt the curse of Tutankhamun was real..." Lisa sighed.
Lisa really wanted to go.
"Homer Lisa needs someone to take her to the museum." said Marge.
"Why me?! I don't like museums!" Homer whined.
"Because you don't have anything to do. Or do you?" Marge asked.
"Well I'm uh... sleeping? Nah. Eating a big sandwich? Nah did that last week and got sick. Spending time with the boy? Yeah spending time with the boy!" Homer tried to come up with a believable excuse.
"Hmmmmm! Homer I want you to spend some more time with Lisa..." Marge sighed.
"Me too!" Homer pretended to agree with her.
"They're drifting apart." Bart explained to Oscar.
"Shut up boy!" Homer yelled at Bart.
"Face it your trapped. You can't get out of this." said Homer's brain to him.
"Oh thanks brain..." Homer muttered.
...
Homer reluctantly took Lisa to the museum. There was no fee but a suggested donation.
"Suggested donation?" Homer asked.
"Yes, we'd like you to pay us $4 but you don't have to."
"So I can donate nothing?" Homer asked.
"Yes but-"
Homer laughed hysterically. "You're so stupid! Hehehehe! Hey everybody you don't have to pay! The museum is free!" Homer ran about telling everyone the museum was free.
"Daaaad!" Lisa whined because he was embarrassing her.
Then Mr Bergstrom arrived.
"Mr Bergstrom!" Lisa said cheerfully.
"Hey you don't have to pay! It's free!" Homer told him as he was about to pay the suggested fee.
"You must be Lisa's father." said Mr Bergstrom.
Then they looked around the exhibit.
"Then they pulled out the brain and stuffed onions into the skull." Mr Bergstrom was explaining how pharaohs were mummified.
"Eeeeew! Gross!" Homer groaned. "Well I'd prefer being chased by him than a wolfman!"
"Oh brother..." Lisa face palmed at Homer's stupidity.
Suddenly a sarcophagus opened and a mummy rose from the dead groaning.
"Yeeeeeeaaaaaagh!" Lisa and Homer screamed.
"Wait hold on. This isn't three thousand year old linen..." said Mr Bergstrom as he pulled off the mummies bandage causing it to spin. Underneath was just Bart and Oscar on each other's shoulders.
"Wooooooo! I'm er Lisa's Mommy! Wooooo!" said Bart waving his arms about.
"Nice try guys..." Lisa sighed.
Then Homer caused embarrassment at lunch in the museum food court by rudely ignoring Mr Bergstrom when he was trying to explain Lisa was gifted and clever. Also he kept slurping his drink.
Lisa was furious when she got home.
"And then he ruined my chances of getting to know Mr Bergstrom outside school!" Lisa yelled.
"Homer..." Marge sighed.
"Look I didn't even want to go to the museum anyway!" said Homer.
...
It was soon the election results in class.
"And your next student body president is... (disappointed sigh) Bart Simpson..." Mrs Krabappel sighed.
Everyone cheered and Bart humbly bowed and shook hands with his supporters.
"Preposterous! I demand a recount!" said Martin.
"Quite so! Edna recount!" said Skinner.
"Seymour nearly everyone voted for Bart except Wendell!" Edna replied annoyed Bart won.
Wendell laughed nervously. "I still like you Martin..."
"Quiet you!" Martin scolded him as he sulked.
...
One morning Lisa was planning to ask Mr Bergstrom to dinner because she's weird like that when she got a shock, Mrs Hoover was back.
"Hi Lisa, I'm back." said Mrs Hoover.
In class that day she announced what was actually wrong with her. "My Lyme disease was Psycochomatic."
"Does that mean you're crazy?" said Ralph.
"No it means she's faking it!" said Janey.
"Actually it's a bit of both. When you see an illness on the news it's only natural to think you have it." said Miss Hoover. "Bow I bet Mr Bergstrom didn't even cover what I left him! Well what did he teach you?"
"He read us Charlotte's web..." Lisa started sobbing.
"Lisa we've been through this, you can't keep having crushes on every substitute teacher who's nice to you..." said Miss Hoover.
...
That evening at dinner Lisa was unhappy but Bart was very happy.
"Martin was crying so hard! I just love rubbing it in! Hahaha!" Bart laughed wearing his Student body president sash.
"Bart, there's such thing as shameful joy!" Marge scolded him.
"Yeah yeah, schaudenfreud... Lisa told Homer that when he bankrupted Ned..." said Bart.
"Lisa what's wrong?" Marge asked as Lisa was crying.
"Mr Bergstrom had to leave because Miss Hoover's back..." said Lisa.
"So your cowboy teacher dude is gone. I was upset when the big bopper died! Oh big bopper! Why did you have to die!" Homer cried about the big bopper.
Lisa then started her baboon rant. "Well I'm glad I'm crying because I'd hate you to think I don't have a shred of concern! But you sir are a baboon!"
Homer gasped. "I don't think you know what you're saying?!"
"Baboon! Baboon! Baboon!" Lisa screamed before storming off in tears.
"That's it go to your room!" Homer yelled at her.
"Homer!" Marge yelled. "Your daughter is pouring her heart out right now! You're not allowed to be mad at her!"
"Like hell! I won't have any of my kids speak to me like that! She called me a baboon! The smelliest ape of them all!" Homer ranted. "Lisa get your butt down here now so I can give you a spanking!"
"No!" Yelled Lisa.
"That's it!" Homer yelled.
"Homer! If you don't get off your high horse and just listen to your daughter I'm leaving! This instant!" Marge yelled.
"Mom no!" Bart cried. "Oscar why are you doing this?!"
"Uh... I like conflict..." said Oscar.
Bart frowned at him.
"She called me a baboon!" Homer yelled angrily.
Plot 3After last nights shenanigans Oscar and Bart's friendship frayed further as Bart made good on his promise to fill the school with poisonous asbestos insulation.
"Bart what the hell?!" Oscar asked.
"Hey this was my motto that got me elected!" said Bart chanting "More asbestos!" again.
"I can't believe I voted for you over Martin! I could have been reading Doctor Who novels and listening to Orson Welles read War of the Worlds in the library right now! You are a complete idiot! Why would we need asbestos?!" Oscar ranted.
"Why should I listen to someone who enjoys causing my mom and dad to fight?!" Bart yelled.
"If I get lung cancer I'm suing you for every penny you own you monster!" Oscar yelled.
"Boys no arguing or it's straight to the psychiatrist." said Mrs Krabappel as class started. "Don't worry Oscar, Bart's presidency will crash and burn. Just like Nixon's..."
"Oh thanks for not being impartial Mrs K..." Bart sighed.
Oscar was glaring at Bart.
"Oz, what could Martin Princess teach you as class president?!" Bart yelled.
"That life is worth living." Oscar sobbed angrily.
...
At dinner Oscar was in a mood this time.
"Oscar what's wrong? You like pizza." Homer asked.
"Bart's trying to poison the entire school with his asbestos pledge. He's gone from newly elected Kennedy to Adolf Hitler in the space of two weeks!" said Oscar.
"Okay! I'll ask for them to remove all the asbestos then!" Bart yelled.
"Bart why do you like asbestos?!" Lisa asked.
"I don't. It was a catchy chant and I ran with it!" said Bart.
In Bart's room Homer helped make campaign posters for his presidency of what he intended to do.
Homer just wrote "Sex!" In big red letters then "Now I have your attention. Vote Bart Simpson!"
"Dad, this has to to appeal to fourth graders... and the election is over. I won." said Bart. "Dad how do I become everyone's hero? I want my presidency to be like Lincoln's. Except with out me being assassinated. Not like Nixon's."
"Son, you just need a hero. Like your Dad!" said Homer.
"Uh..." Bart wasn't sure he wanted Homer as his hero.
"Or, this sexy lady... Hehehehe!" Homer put up a poster of him as a blonde haired lady in a red dress in a sexy pose.
"Ay carumba!" Bart screamed in disgust.
...
At school Student Body President Bart had a speech. It must have been successful because he left with a cheering crowd and Lisa clones!
"Narrator stop pointing out the weird background characters... yes I know there's an albino in Lisa's class and weird Lisa clones..." said Bart.
In Bart's class there were the following weird early episode characters...
A bald kid who looked like he was having chemo.
A clone of Lewis the token black kid.
An early, really off model Sherri/Terri who when Bart suggested her to ask annoying or stupid questions for Annoying and stupid questions to ask your teacher, she responded with "Teacher, May I go to the tinkle dinkle ha ha room?" The toilet presumably.
There was also from Moaning Lisa, an early version of Ralph and a pale skinned kid with brown hair, Rex and others weird kids who don't turn up in later episodes.
"And I did have a speech, but my dog ate it..." said Bart.
His friends laughed and cheered.
Mrs Krabappel sighed.
Lisa frowned. My brother's just goofing off. He hasn't sorted out anything the school needs such as handling Skinner's penny pinching... Our sub standard library...
That night the Simpsons had a guest for dinner. Whoever it was, cheered Lisa up. And she was buzzing about asking her mom questions.
"Will there be wine?"
"Yes dear." said Marge.
"Can I have wine?" Yes Lisa asks that...
"No dear..." Marge sighed.
"Lisa gets to have wine..." Oscar said furrowing his brows. His chocolate irises turned bright red as his evil took over.
"Fine, Lisa can drink..." Marge sighed.
"Does Bart have to be there?" Lisa asked.
"Now Lis, I made your mom let you drink wine... leave Bart alone..." said Oscar.
...
Lisa's guest for dinner was Mr Bergstrom. That's why she cheered up.
However Homer acted stupid again and rude.
And Lisa got very drunk on wine and called him a baboon.
"Baboon! Babooooooon!" She ranted drunk.
"I would just like to note, Lisa's misbehaving really badly right now." said Bart addressing the fourth wall.
"Well Bart, you look like a deformed pineapple..." Lisa slurred drunk.
Bart cried.
Homer then put on his Rapping Ronald Reagan tape.
"Well, well, well, well? Well, well, well...?"
"Hehehehehe! He did say Well a lot..." Homer giggled.
Everyone rolled their eyes at his stupid mix tape.
Soon it was time for Nr Bergstrom to go, the Simpsons politely say their goodbyes and he leaves.
...
At bed time Homer and Lisa talks. He explains he doesn't feel the sadness of losing someone close because he never has. Well there's his Mom but this hasn't come up yet in canon.
Lisa apologises for calling him a baboon.
"That's okay. Gimme a banana." Said Homer.
"Um I don't have a banana." said Lisa.
Homer acts like an ape, making her laugh.
Bart is depressed about his presidency.
"President Prince... President Princess... President Priss..." he mutters bouncing his tennis ball about.
Homer comes in and asks him what's wrong.
"Mrs Krabappel is sore about me winning the student body president election. She keeps saying I'll crash and burn because I keep goofing off and chanting about asbestos..."
"Hmmmmm..." Bart maybe you are crazy over the ol' Asbestos..." said Homer. "And so what? Let the baby have her bottle! That's my motto..."
Bart laughed as Homer tickled him.
Homer then passed Maggie's room she was whimpering because her pacifier fell out of her mouth.
(Maggie whimpering)
"There you go Maggie. Three for three..." said Homer putting her red pacifier in her mouth. She softly sucked it as she slept.
In the kitchen.
"Homer did you straigh-" Marge asked.
"Bub bub bub! I straightened things out with our actual canon children..." said Homer.
Marge sighed.
"Do I have to do everything..." she muttered.
"I am not tucking in the freak!" Homer sulked.
...
Marge changed Oscar's diaper before he went to bed.
More pow pow on bum bum." Oscar said as she was about to tape up his diaper.
"No Oscar..." Marge sighed as she taped up his diaper.
Oscar squirmed because she taped it up too tightly and it was very thick and absorbent.
Marge then went up the attic and tucked Hugo in.
"You'll be free one day sweetie." said Marge.
Hugo murmured and growled before yawning and going to sleep.
Marge sighed as her insane beastly son slept.
...
At school eventually everyone got fed up with President Bart because they all contracted Lung Cancer from all the asbestos.
"Thanks a lot Bart! Now I'm slowly dying!" Milhouse yelled and coughed.
Bart sighed.
After class he half heartedly chanted "More Asbestos... More Asbestos..."
Eventually he was impeached.
"They turned him into a peach?!" Oscar asked at lunch.
"No! Oz Impeaching is how a president is fired/sacked from his job. First they are indicted of a crime or misuse of public-" Lisa explained but Oscar suddenly started snoring and was asleep. Lisa sighed annoyed.
Bart miserable told a sensible speech about how ashamed he was of his presidency. Which amounted to filling the school with deadly asbestos simply because he was obsessed with it.
Martin was sworn in as president and held up a newspaper saying as its headline, "Dewey Wins!" See Truman Vs Dewey.
In the school library a section of bookshelves were being stocked up by the nerds with Science Fiction novels.
"Oooooh! H.G Wells!" said Database in awe.
Oscar kept screaming at the Timelash novelisation. The Borad does look disturbing.
"Oscar stop screaming in the library!" Martin hushed him.
"Yeah we get it... the monster on the cover of that Doctor Who Novel is scary..." said Database.
...
Then Miss Hoover was off sick again with some kind of illness. Probably Smallpox.
Mr Bergstrom was back and singing cowboy music and playing his guitar.
"(singing Home on the Range."
But Some kids were being cheeky passing a rude drawing of him with stink lines as The Singing Dork. Janey passed it to Lisa while giggling.
"Janey! That's our teacher you can't draw that!" Lisa gasped.
Unfortunately Mr Bergstrom saw it.
"As if! As if I look like that!" He said slowly losing his temper.
"I'm really sorry Mr Bergstrom!" Lisa squeaked. Shrinking down mortified.
Janey snickered.
"Hey, what's this? Did you do it?" said Mr Bergstrom. Finding another unflattering drawing.
"No, it wasn't me. I would never do anything like that. It was just one of those immature people who, instead of building themselves up-" said Lisa apologetic.
"It's neat. Can I have it?" Mr Bergstrom asked.
"Yes, but I didn't do it." said Lisa.
"Are you sure you didn't? It's good." said Mr Bergstrom.
"No, but I'm starting to wish I had." said Lisa.
"(chuckles) Ladies and gentlemen: The Singing Dork." said Mr Bergstrom showing the picture.
Lisa gives caricature to Mr. Bergstrom, who continues the song.
"(whispering) Lisa." Janey chuckled and showed Lisa an immature cartoon of her as a stick man with a crazy expression on her face and stink lines playing her saxophone labelled "The singing Dorkett."
"Real funny Janey..." Lisa sighed.
...
At dinner.
The Simpsons and Oscar had purple mush for dinner.
Even the pets had purple mush as Santa's Little Helper and Snowball II we're eating purple stuff from their bowls.
"More purple stuff Oscar?" Marge asked.
"No thank you. Now my pets need feeding. You fed yours. Now feed mine..."
Marge sighed as Oscar got up and put some food bowls for pets down in front of Teddy, Clownja and Dino.
Marge sighed and filled up their food bowls with purple mush.
Plot 4