The Last Temptation of Homer Homer falls for a new co worker called Mindy who is just like him. Meanwhile Bart has problems seeing the blackboard so Dr Hibbert prescribes him glasses and gives him a nerdy makeover.
PlotAt the Simpsons house everyone is getting ready for work/school. After Homer and the kids have left Marge decides to take up a hobby, making her own T shirts with her face printed on them.
...
At the plant ninjas attack! Oh shoot! Ninjas!"
However the ninjas are from the health and safety inspectors because they've had to take precautions against Mr Burns's resistance to monthly health and safety inspections.
This time a health inspector is cross with Mr Burns for not having enough female employees.
"We have female employees! Like that hazmat worker! She's a lady! Oooooh and what a lady!" said Mr Burns. A hazmat wearing worker took off her head gear. Underneath was a beautiful brown haired lady. Homer as a terminator had to eliminate her from his search for men to date Selma because she was a lady.
"Oh." said the inspectors.
"And this man can't even speak any English!" said a health and equal opportunity inspector. There was a fat moustached man working under Mr Burns's instructions.
"Si?" The man asked in Spanish.
"Gonzales is an excellent worker!" Mr Burns yelled. He praised Gonzales in Spanish.
"Si señor Burns. Gracias." said the man.
"Well um... that worker is an illegal alien!" The agent was flustered.
"Hi." said Roger the alien wearing a helmet working.
"D'oh!" The Employment agent grunted.
"Mr Burns you still have to hire more female employees!" An inspector demanded as there were still ninjas in the room. "One isn't enough..."
"Fine! But I still stand by my employment record!" Mr Burns yelled.
A duck in a little helmet quacked as it fluttered about dragging a little cart with it.
"Oh get back to work Stewart!" Mr Burns yelled at the duck. Yes the duck was an employee... Stewart quacked and waddles off somewhere.
Elsewhere in the Power Plant Oscar was being a pervert by going in the women's toilets.
"Get out! Libidinous swine!" said a fat, grandiloquent woman employee who presumably studied Shakespeare or read a thesaurus from cover to cover.
Oscar giggled pervertedly.
Charlie grimaced.
...
Bart pranks the teachers by painting the parking bays closer together so they can't get out of their cars.
"The beauty of it is each parking space is a mere one foot narrower- indistinguishable to the naked eye...but therein lies the game." said Bart.
"I fear to watch, yet I cannot turn away." said Milhouse.
[Cars Approaching]
Teachers get stuck in their cars.
"Blast it, woman. You parked too close. Move your car!" Skinner yelled at Edna.
"I'm in the lines. You got a problem, go tell your mama." Edna said snarking.
"Oh, don't worry. She'll hear about this." said Skinner.
Agnes rolled her eyes.
[Horns Honking] "I can't get out!" A Male teacher cried.
"I'm trapped!" cried a lady teacher.
"I can't breath!" said another.
[Honking Continues]
[Bart Laughing Sinisterly]
In class.
Kids were running along the desks and throwing paper planes or paint etc and generally causing pandemonium because the teachers couldn't get out of their cars.
Eventually Mrs Krabappel gets out to teach the class, but misses first lesson.
She suspects Bart had something to do with it.
"Well I can't prove who did it but because 90% of all pranks are his doing, I'm gonna assume Bart's the culprit."
"No fair!" Bart whined.
"Life isn't fair, Bart." said Mrs Krabappel.
Bart sighed.
...
"Bart, can you complete this equation?" She picks him to answer the question.
"Um... uh..." Bart finds the writing on the board is blurry and can't read.
Martin gets frustrated and yells the answer at him. "It's photosynthesis you clod!"
"Martin don't shout out." Mrs Krabappel sighed. "... Are you telling me you can't see the board Bart..."
"What, you mean it's me peepers and not me nogging?" Bart asks in a funny British accent. "That's just lovely!"
Oscar glares at him.
"Richard read this word." said Mrs Krabappel.
"Photosynthesis."
"Excellent Richard." said Mrs Krabappel.
"Your supposed to give stupid answers.., Nelson will whale on you..." Bart growled under his breath at Richard.
"I don't think this class would function very well if everyone was disruptive Bart..." Nelson winced. When Mrs K wasn't around all hell broke loose.
"Teddy!" Oscar squealed and hugged Teddy, his living teddy bear creature.
Bart groaned and slammed his own head into his desk embarrassed.
"Now class, we will be discussing the xylem and phloem of plants and osmosis." said Mrs Krabappel.
"I am Oscar! Hear me moo!" Oscar shouted out. "Mooooooo!"
"Oscar Tamaki! This is your last warning! Do not shout out in class!" said Mrs Krabappel sharply.
Richard kicked him under the desk.
"YOU SON OF A PICKLE!" Oscar yelled.
Bart was squinting at the board as apparently he has problems with his eyes this episode.
"Kinda like that time in Something Weird this way Comes" said Milhouse.
"Only I may break the fourth wall!" Oscar yelled.
...
At work Homer and his friends are having lunch when they are admiring the new female coworker hired on the orders of the plant inspectors to balance out the genders of the workers.
"So Mr Burns has been ordered to hire more women." said Carl.
"We'll have to suck in our stomachs then." said Lenny.
"Hey whatever happened to that pretty lady in the radiation suit?" Homer asked. "You know the one with long brown hair?"
"Homer don't you remember? She lost her nose to horrible deformities caused by radiation exposure. Everyone calls her the dolphin woman now!" said Lenny.
The brown haired pretty lady Homer identified as female when using his Terminator vision to find a man for Selma chirped like a dolphin. She had lost her nose to radiation poisoning.
Either that or she was a background character and the employment equality agents forgot...
Mindy, the new worker is scoffing donuts rudely like the fellas.
"Hi fellas! (Belch)" she said and belched loudly.
"Now she's my kind of woman!" said Carl.
"Yeah." said Lenny.
Homer had unfaithful thoughts about Mindy as the Greek goddess Aphrodite on a clam shell and Lenny and Carl as cherubs.
"What's a matter Homer. Never seen a naked Greek chick on a clam shell before?" Imaginary Carl asked.
Homer drooled.
Homer you're married...
"Well, see you later fellas." said Mindy.
"That's the third burrito I've had, and I'm still hungry." said Homer.
"Yeah there must be something seriously wrong with your metabolism Homer..." said Carl.
"How many times must I tell you! Not to use big words I don't understand!" Homer ranted.
Lenny was drinking his coffee.
...
Bart is given a note to take home.
"Bart was apparently struggling to read the board today..." Marge reads the note.
"How many fingers am I holding up!" Homer asks suddenly.
"Dad! My peripheral vision is fine... I'm just struggling to read..." Bart replies.
"Hrrrrm..."
"Oh and nobody go upstairs. The cat couldn't find the litter box-" said Marge.
"For the love of Elizabeth Taylor on a stick!" Oscar yelled from upstairs.
Marge sighed.
Marge takes Bart to their GP, Dr Hibbert.
Dr Hibbert examined him and determined he needed glasses.
"It seems Bart has what we call a lazy eye. It's where the eyes are still sleeping hence lazy eye. Ahehehe!" said Dr Hibbert.
"Actually it's where eye sight is temporary weaker in one eye than the other, Dr Hibbert..." said a nurse. "I recommend Bart be prescribed a pair of glasses."
"Oh no! Please Doc! Anything but glasses!" Bart whined. He is given black thick rimmed glasses.
Oscar laughed at his geeky glasses.
"You'll need to be wearing those specs for two weeks until your eyesight improves." said Dr Hibbert.
Hibbert explains that Bart's posture is terrible as well and gives him big heavy black shoes to keep him standing up straight.
Then the nurses apply some ointment to his hair because his scalp is dry.
"Keep him away from open flames and pregnant women." said Dr Hibbert.
"What about pregnant women who are on fire?" Oscar asked a dumb question. "Seriously. When I'm around people tend to end up ablaze."
Hibbert prescribes it for him to use every day to keep his hair moist. Finally his throat is scraped and sprayed because it was inflamed according to a nurse.
Bart talks in a Jerry Lewis voice. "Thank you nice lady! My voice sounds crazy with this big brain! Oy! I feel so much better now nice medical person!"
"Ay carumba!" Oscar yelled.
...
Marge and Bart get home.
As soon as Homer sees Bart wearing his new glasses he screams with hysterical laughter.
"Homer don't laugh!" Marge yelled.
"Egghead likes his booky wook! Doo dah! Doo dah!" Homer sang to the tune of Cape Town Races.
"Homer!" Marge yelled.
Bart wearing dorky glasses sighed and went upstairs.
"Homer what is wrong with you?!" Marge yelled.
"What's-a matter you? Hey! Gotta no respect? What-a you think you do? Why you-a look so sad?" Oscar was singing.
"Hmmmmmm... Bumpkin go and find something to do..." Marge sighed.
"Okey dokey!" said Oscar. He went off upstairs.
Bart went full nerd! Noooooooo!
He was going through his stamp collection while wearing his new geeky black thick rimmed glasses.
"Ay carumba! My style! My looks! My coolness! Nooooooooo!" Regular Bart cried.
"The sum of the square roots of any two sides of an isosceles triangle is equal to the square root of the remaining side." said Bart wearing his new geek glasses.
"That's a right triangle you idiot!" Hugo yelled from the air vent.
Bart winced. "I could have sworn I heard someone yell from the air vents..."
"What?! Bugsy's a boy?!" Oscar yelled from his room.
"Uh yeah..." said Flint Hammerhead from Flint the Time Detective.
"I wonder if it's schadenfreude to laugh at Bart now he has to wear glasses and silly shoes?" Lisa pondered aloud.
"You can't because that's racist against people with glasses!" said Oscar.
Lisa grimaced. "Oz, wearing glasses isn't an individual race or creed..."
Plot 2At Mr Burns office.
"Sir we need a real fire exit..." said Charlie.
"Oh I suppose you'll want real lead shielding in the radiation suits instead of tin foil and urinal cakes in the urinals too?" Mr Burns ranted.
"Yes those are pretty much mandatory sir..." said Charlie.
"Smithers throw this at him!" Burns handed Smithers a paper weight.
"No sir." said Smithers. Mr Burns gasped. "You're in enough trouble with the health and ethical standards department as it is... They won't stand for you assaulting employees over reasonable requests..."
"Judas!" Mr Burns snapped. "Gupta, throw this at Charlie." He passed the paper weight to Gupta from Tomorrow Never Dies.
"With pleasure sir!" said Gupta. He hurled the paper weight at Charlie.
"Ow!" said Charlie.
"Excellent!" said Mr Burns.
...
Meanwhile Professor Frink was being told off by the Dean at the Screaming Monkey research centre.
"Frink! Get in here!"
"Glavin!" Frink stuttered gibberish.
"Frink do you mind explaining why you tried to experiment developing an alternative to gasoline in an engine by concocting up a mixture that the other eggheads here determined was Nitroglycerin?!" The boss yelled.
"Well sir, Glavin! Ahem. Sorry. Well it worked until the engine sort of blew up..." said Frink.
"And what of little Arnold Philps?!" the boss yelled.
"I told everyone the green skin should have worn off by now and he should be back to his usual skin tone..." said Frink.
"Frink... I am aware scientific geniuses have their eccentricities. Einstein hated hair cuts, Da Vinci liked to paint... Newton..." said the boss.
"He had that thing with figs, didn't he?" said Frink.
"Just go home! You're suspended without pay for a week. Just come back afterwards without anymore eccentric mad scientist ideas..." said the boss.
...
Homer falls for Mindy however he knows he's married and has a dilemma in a phone booth. The phone booth falls on him and knocks him out. Sir Issac Newton then pulls out his ghost.
"Who are you?" Homer asks.
"Homer, I'm your spirit guide, I'm here in a form you're comfortable with to explain what would happen if you married Mindy instead of Marge." Newton explained.
"No offence, but who the hell are you?" Homer asks. Sir Issac Newton sighs frustrated and morphs into Colonel Klink from Hogan's Heroes.
"Colonel Klink!" Homer gasps. "Hey did you ever get my letters?"
"Homer...! I'm not really Colonel Klink, I'm just your spirit guide, here to show you what would happen if you hadn't met Marge." Colonel Klink explained. However Homer keeps annoying him by explaining how Hogan defeated him with a teapot.
Homer is then woken up from his daydream by an angry Lionel Hutz.
"Hey! That's my office!" Apparently the phone booth is his office...
"I thought it was our time machine man!" said Bill and Ted.
At the plant, Homer comes in an elevator somewhere in the plant and pushing the down button.
"I made it the whole day without seeing her again." Homer sighs and waits for the elevator.
The elevator arrives as Homer gets into it and notices he's crammed in with Mindy.
Homer screams.
"I mean, Aaaaaaagh-ello!" Homer tries to make his scream a friendly hello the engage in small talk.
"Heh... I guess we'll be going down together... I mean, getting off togeth... I mean..." Mindy chuckles and talks nervously.
"That's okay. I'll just push the button for the stimulator... I mean, elevator." Homer talks nervously and pushes the button for the elevator as the door closes as the elevator rides down the floor.
Homer and Mindy hear the phone ring.
"I'll get the phone." Homer says and gets the phone and answers it.
Homer and Mindy listen to the phone when Dr Demento comes on and starts playing Wipe Out by The Surfaris.
"Nyahahahaha!" Dr Demento is laughing maniacally. "It's time to get demented for the Dr Demento show! Nyahahaha! Wipe out!" Surfer music plays.
"Oh my god!" Homer gasps.
"Oh, no!" Mindy said. "Why is Dr Demento calling you.
"Mindy this is a difficult and odd story... You see Dr Demento has been harassing my son Bart to the point he's his arch enemy like Superman's Lex Luthor or Apokalips." said Homer as Dr Demento laughed.
"Homer you live an interesting life..." said Mindy.
"Thanks but this my stop." Homer said as the elevator doors opened at a floor. He got off but screamed and plummeted to his doom as Mr Burns for some reason built the elevators with front and rear doors that sometimes opened at several stories up in the air...
...
Mr Burns's office.
Mr a Burns observes Homer plunging out of an escalator several floors up.
"Smithers why did we build the elevators like that?" Mr Burns asks.
"You found it amusing sir, watching workers plummet to their deaths." said Smithers.
"Oh yeah... Excellent..."
Later Homer is thinking about Mindy.
"Think unsexy thoughts... think unsexy thoughts..."
He thinks about Barney in a bikini singing off key and dancing.
"Eeeeeeeeeew!" His brain groaned.
Suddenh Barney became Mindy and she blew a kiss.
"Ooooooh! But I'm married!" Homer told himself.
...
At home.
Homer sings Mandy by Barry Manilow but Exchanging the names as Mindy and Andy.
"Oh Mindy! You came you left without baking. So I sent you Ben Gaaay... Oh Mindy! You stopped me from something something... so I gave you awaaaaay... oh Andy!"
"Dad why are you singing..." Lisa asked.
"Um I have a bit in a musical production. It's only a small part but whatever.
"Well the song you're singing implies you're either infatuated with a woman called Mindy or a man named Andy." said Lisa.
"Um... Oh god look behind you!" Homer screamed.
"Dad I'm not falling for that..." Lisa sighed.
"No seriously look behind you!" Homer yelled.
"Eh?" Lisa looked. Homer fled.
"Sucker!" Homer laughed.
At church.
"My friends, the devil walks among us!" Reverend Lovejoy Warner his flock loudly with the ol' fire and brimstone thing.
The camera swings round to Homer sat in the pews wearing his devil costume as Evil Homer.
"Um... no..." Homer said sheepishly fiddling with his devil costume's tail.
Marge face palmed.
Oscar laughed.
Bart goes to school the next day and sits next to Milhouse. They look at each other.
"Oh my god! We're nerds!" Milhouse gasps.
"Noooooooooo!" Bart screams in a Jerry Lewis voice.
After class Bart is reading in the hall. The other kids surround him and glare at him.
"You're reading!" Nelson yells.
"Loser!" A kid remarks.
"You're funny looking! Ahyuck! Ahyuck!" A hillbilly kid with blond hair and a buck tooth remarks with a goofy laugh.
"Let's beat him up!" said Jimbo. They all jump on him, but Bart escapes. He runs past the lockers only to yanked into one of them by someone.
Martin reveals he is Bart's saviour when he lights up a candle.
"What the-!" Bart gasps. The inside of the locker has no back, just a long dark tunnel.
"Ssssshhh!" Martin hushes him. They go down the tunnel.
Eventually they come across a crawl space into a dark chamber redecorated into a classroom with chalk on the walls. There are nerds everywhere.
"Cooool! Where am I?" Bart asks.
"A refuge for the damned!" An Indian kid straight out of Indiana Jones and the Temple of Doom explains.
"It's a top secret sanctuary for us nerds to study in peace and do our homework without reprisals from bullies!" Martin explained. "Since your appearance, sorry if I'm blunt, is somewhat comical, even to myself! You'll stick out as a nerd to everyone now!"
"But you're all nerds! Everyone picks on you! Even I sorta... hehehe..." Bart replied.
"Well you can't do that anymore! Naaaa, you're one of us now!" said Database.
"One of us! One of us! One of us!" The nerds chant repeatedly.
"Enough!" Martin said in his high pitched voice. "Let me introduce everyone! There's Database, Ham..."
"I'm called that because I like ham! And ham radios!" said Ham.
"... Bhadesh, Conrad and me, Martin!" Martin explained.
"Um, nice to meet you all..." Bart replied.
"You look hungry. URL! Fetch our friend a boiled egg and some prune juice!" Ham clapped his hands to order another nerd to fetch some food and a drink.
"But I don't like Prune juice-" Bart explained.
"DRINK YOUR PRUNE JUICE!" Yells a black nerd as he forcefully gives Bart a carton of prune juice.
...
At lunch Homer is told he will be going on a week's seminar to advertise nuclear power on behalf of the plant, however he will be partnered with Mindy.
"Oh Colonel Klink! Why have you forsaken me!" Homer cries. Colonel Klink appears.
"What is it Homer?" Colonel Klink asks.
"Hey did you know Hogan had tunnels all over your base?" Homer asks with a giggle.
"He did?!" Colonel Klink gasps.
...
At home Homer packs his bags for the seminar and kisses his family goodbye.
"Bye Marge!" Smooch!
"Bye Maggie!" Smooch!
"Bye Lisa!" Smooch!
"Bye Four Eyes!" He insulted Bart because of his glasses.
"Hey!" Bart yelled.
"Homer!" Marge yelled.
"What?!" Homer whined.
...
At the hotel Mindy calls room service.
(At the plant)
"Sir! Someone's charging room service to the plant!" Smithers gasps.
"Oh really? We'll see about that!" Mr Burns reveals a cage full of flying monkeys. He lets them out. "Now fly my pretties! Fly!" However they can't fly and fall to their deaths with a sad clump. "Oooooh... Call the science team..."
...
After finishing all the food, Mindy and Homer decide to share the giant chilli dog. However they inadvertently kiss on the last bite. Suddenly Homer's shirt bursts open revealing a t shirt with a smudged Marge face on it making her hrmmmm noise.
"Aaaaaaagh! It's a sign!" Homer screams.
Meanwhile Marge is annoyed by how her face turned out on some t shirts.
"Hrrrrrm! My face is all smeared!"
"Reminds me of all those weird faces you all used to pull." Oscar explained.
"What weird faces?" Marge asks before a cutaway gag begins showing a slideshow of funny/weird freeze frames. Including Homer at Bart's dream funeral and Homer choking on donuts at work. Gentle Breeze from Trauma Center plays over the montage.
Plot 3Bart spends most of his time until his eyesight gets better hanging around with Martin and his gang of nerds. Reading and listening to stories in the secret den.
Database tells a story of how the nerds once ran the school as the bullies until one day a boy arrived and told the current bullies, Jimbo Jones, Dolph, Kerne and Nelson, that they were bigger and tougher than the nerds so they beat them all up and became the new bullies. The story is told from the point of view of a young Jimbo, back then called James. The nerds pranked him by gluing him to his chair with contact adhesive and throwing water balloons at him. During the course of this bullying Jimbo is given a makeover into his current badboy image to replace his torn shirt that got glued to his chair and to cover his wet hair.
Eventually the popular kid, Bart explained to the bullies they had an advantage over the nerds, they were bigger and tougher so they beat up the nerds. However they also beat him up for not having any money to give them.
Also this was a story in the Bart Simpson comics series.
Bart also went on bike rides with the nerds and aced all his homework with their help. However they kept singing that they were the Super Friends and as such received lawsuits from DC Comics.
However he couldn't answer questions correctly in class and just annoyed Mrs Krabapple.
"Bart you haven't answered a single question right!" said Krabapple cross with him.
"Sorry Mrs Krabapple..." Bart sighed.
After class the bullies attacked him.
"This is for wasting the teacher's valuable time!" said Jimbo.
"Hey leave him alone!" Lisa started beating up the bullies.
"You're just lucky she's your sister..." said Jimbo with his shirt pulled up. The bullies retreated.
Lisa helped Bart up. "Ugh, your glasses are all lopsided!" She put his glasses back on him properly. "Hold on your mouth sounds a little dry." Lisa sprayed his mouth spray in his mouth.
"Great glavin! I'm all sciencey now like The Nutty Professor, but not the Eddie Murphy one! (Crazed laughter)!" said Jerry Lewis Bart.
Lisa grimaced at the effects of the spray.
...
At the seminar everyone yells at Homer and Mindy because they're all environmentalists and hate nuclear power.
"Planet wrecker!" Yells a man.
"Go to hell!" Homer yells and throws a brick at him.
The man screamed and died from a brick hitting him.
...
Bart goes bike riding with the nerds again. However they annoy him by singing "we are the Super Friends!" and calling him Cosmos.
"Shut up!" Bart yelled as they rode their bikes.
Then at home he was in his room reading with his glasses on his bed along with things from this season such as his portable TV Malloy the cat burglar will steal and his Boy Scouts uniform hanging up on his closet door.
Everyone was playing on Homer's trampoline bouncing up and down at Bart's window. He ignored them to read, then Malloy sneaked in through his window to steal his portable TV but Bart saw him and glared. Malloy left.
One day Bart no longer has to wear his glasses and shoes. He throws them over the fence.
"Boys... did any of you pray for giant shoes?" Ned asks Rod and Todd.
"Yay!" The boys cheer.
"Okily dokily!" Ned replies.
"Oh good! A grouchy old biddy can live in them with her many, many children and leech off of the welfare state!" Oscar yelled sarcastically.
The Flanderses looked baffled by his comment.
...
At School Bart smugly explains to the shocked students that the nerd they got to know and pick on the last few weeks is gone. "Beat me up, and you'll be beating one of your own..." Jimbo and his gang do just that and beat up Bart.
Bart comes home miserable.
"What's wrong with him?" Marge asked.
"Probably misses his glasses..." Homer explained. "And he actually has glasses now..."
"Dad, I don't miss my glasses..." Bart sighed.
Bart goes to his room.
Oscar's teddy bear creature tries on Bart's glasses and pulls faces.
Bart laughs. "Hahaha! Now that can make anyone laugh! No matter how miserable they are!" Teddy smirks and hands Bart back his glasses.
...
Back at the hotel the bellhop annoys Homer by making suggestive noises that he and Mindy are a couple using the room for romantic reasons. Homer gets fed up and punches him.
That night at a Chinese dinner Homer's fortune cookie warns him he'll find new love.
At the hotel room Homer and Mindy kiss, but Homer squirms away from her.
"Homer what's wrong?" Mindy asks.
"Like you don't know!" Homer cries. "We're gonna have sex!"
Mindy comforts him. "We don't have to have sex... We're co workers anyway..."
"But the cookie said so!" Homer lamented.
"Desserts aren't always right..." Mindy said while comforting him.
...
Homer is sitting on the hotel bed looking up at someone as sexy music plays. "Oh baby..." He says aroused. The camera reveals he is looking at his wife, Marge who is dressed up in a red dress and make up.
"Homer, this was a lovely idea." Marge sits next to him. "So where did that Mindy lady go to?"
"Oh she went home. We haven't exactly been speaking that much at work anymore." Homer replied.
They turn off the lights and make out. However the annoying bellhop makes stupid noises again so Homer punches him again.
The end!