Bart Gets an Elephant Bart rings in a radio station and wins a fully grown elephant. Chaos insues.
Plot
One afternoon in the kitchen Bart is listening to the radio while eating only the chocolate from a box of Neapolitan ice cream. The philistine...
Marge gets up to find the house in a mess.
She steps on a sandwich. "A sandwich..."
She finds Homer's underwear on the stairs. "Eeeeew!" Food stains on the walls. Chocolate cupcakes splattered on the walls. Mustard splattered under the piano and goats in the kitchen with Bart. The goats are eating from the garbage.
"Bart! I told you to take out the garbage! And stop eating only the chocolate ice cream out of the Neapolitan!"
Oscar came in and sighed. "Sugar and spice, make chocolate ice..." he waved his wand and the chocolate ice cream section of the box of Neapolitan replenished itself.
"Well Milhouse is taking me down to the ravine I fell in. We got a tip from a kid at school that there's a dead Martian down there." said Bart.
"Well I'm gonna be jamming in the park with former President Clinton with my saxophone. Coming Daddo?" Lisa asked Homer.
"No I'm in a drinking contest with Barney sweetie." said Homer.
"You'll win Home boy." said Bart.
"Thanks boy." said Homer.
"I'm gonna be up in the attic then." said Oscar.
Homer growled at him.
"Everyone tidy up now or you will not leave this house!" said Marge.
"Sure we'll um... Run boy! Run!" Homer yelled.
"Homer no! You're all helping tidy up!" Marge nagged.
Bart was fighting with the back door of the rear lounge.
"Bart that door is locked..." Marge sighed.
...
Everyone was assigned jobs. Lisa vacuumed her room.
However outside she was missing out on Playing jazz music with former President Bill Clinton as he played Oh when the saints go marching in on his saxophone.
Kids were dancing after him in a line grooving to the music like he was the pied piper of Hamlyn.
Moe and Barney drove past to go somewhere.
"Hey Clinton! Get back to work!" Moe yelled.
"Bite me." Bill replied defiantly.
Lisa sighed and then the vacuum cleaner sucked on her saxophone, sexually... when her saxophone was pulled into the vacuum cleaner nozzle it made a discord note. Lisa groaned annoyed and pulled the lustful cleaning appliance away from her saxophone.
Down in the basement Homer got out a leaf blower and turned it on. It blew magazines and paper everywhere in a tornado.
"Jumanji!" Oscar yelled giggling. The tornado vanished.
"Oz sweetie, you're supposed to be helping Hugo tidy up the kitchen." Marge asked Oscar sweetly and softly. Homer scowled that she let the freak out.
"Finished." said Homer.
"No you're not! I want you to get ride of all the old newspapers, calendars and TV mags!" Marge nagged Homer.
"But Marge what if we accidentally travel back in time again?" Homer whined. "Oh look! Homer upsets Sgt Carter... I loved that episode..."
"Pyle!"
"Shazam!"
"Pyle!"
"Shazam!"
"Pyle!"
"Shazam!" Two cartoon soldiers argued. One of who was Sergeant Carter.
"Hehehehe! Shazam..." said Homer giggling.
Suddenly in a flash of light, DC's Captain Marvel appeared.
"You called?!' Captain Marvel asked.
...
Upstairs Bart was eating the chocolate ice cream again when Bill and Marty were on the radio doing a competition where you ring in and yell Bill and Marty KBBL radio give me something stupid! and they give you a choice of prizes, 10,000 dollars or a novelty gag prize.
Bart quickly rings in. "Bill and Marty KBBL radio give me something-" But Marge snatched the phone from him.
"Bart! This is no time for lolly gagging! Go in the lounge and polish and dust!" Marge nagged.
Bart sighed.
Marge put the ice cream back in the freezer.
Hugo was licking the plates clean.
"Hugo don't lick the plates!" Marge nagged.
Hugo sighed and washed them properly.
In the basement Homer found a Mr Cleanz cleaning formula that was a parody of Mr Clean. It warned him that it was only to be used in a well ventilated area.
"My ass." said Homer using it anyway. Toxic fumes from the cleaning product made him woozy. He got dizzy and everything spun around him. Then he hallucinates the cleaning product mascots coming to life. A cute turtle, Mr Cleanz and the soap bubble scrubbers creatures come to life. They make cute sounds.
"D'awwwww!" Homer thinks they're cute.
Suddenly they grin menacingly and growl.
Homer was horrified. Then they lunge at him as the turtle, the scrubbers, a knight in white armour and Mr Cleanz attack him!
"I must destwoy you!" said Mr Cleanz.
Homer screamed loudly and horribly for help. "Aaaaaaaaaagh! Aaaaaagh!"
"Homer what's wrong?!" Marge asked.
"Um nothing..." Homer replied.
"Then stop screaming so loud!" Marge nagged.
"Okay..." Homer screamed quietly as the hallucinations attacked him.
...
In the lounge Marge found Bart half cleaning, half watching Itchy and Scratchy.
She tutted and turned off the TV.
"Moooooom!" Bart whined.
"No TV until you finish your chores!" Marge explained.
"But TV helps me get in the mood to clean." Bart explained.
"I'll tell what helps me sweetie. Music gets me in the mood." Marge puts a radio on the table. She put it on and it played old fashioned music.
Bart sighed. He started scrubbing the walls, as soon as Mom left he was so distracted by KBBL he did not notice he was scrubbing a painting of American Gothic. He scrubbed away the paint leaving a blank canvas with black text reading. "If you can read this, you have scrubbed too hard."
He put KBBL on. Fortunately no one had called in so the money or gag prize was still available. It was currently time to ring in again so he called in.
"Bill and Marty KBBL radio! Give me something stupid!"
However... "Bart! It's Grampa! Get your good for nothing Dad on the line! I'm having a heart attack!" Grampa called desperately.
"Gramps get off the phone..." Bart sighed.
The kitchen.
Oscar was scrubbing the floor.
"Genetic engineering is a wonderful thing. Why I could splice the genes of a rabbit with a fish to make bunny fish!" said Hugo postering about mad science experiments.
"Or splice chalk with some cheese and a beard." said Oscar.
Hugo winced exasperated. "Uh... no..."
Very soon the whole house was tidy again.
"Well isn't this wonderful! Don't you feel a sense of accomplishment?" Marge asked.
The family sighed.
They went in the kitchen and when the door swung it was messy again.
"Hmmmmmm!" Marge grumbled.
...
Meanwhile Wiggum called up KBBL.
"Help us! Help! They've stolen all our uniforms, night sticks and tasers! Help!" Wiggum cried tied up in his underwear with Lou and Eddie.
"Ooooh! Fry piggy! Fry!" said Snake dressed as a police officer as he zapped Wiggum with a taser.
Wiggum screamed in pain.
"Oh I'm sorry! That is not the phrase we are looking for! The prizes are still up for grabs people!" said Bill.
At the Simpsons Marge locked everyone in.
"No one is going everywhere until the house is clean... again..."
Bart tried the back door.
"You'll find escape impossible... now everyone pick a floor and get cleaning!" said Marge.
"Well a certain little monster isn't supposed to be roaming the three main floors so he can clean the attic!" said Homer assigning Hugo to clean the attic while taking him back up there.
"Who was that boy?" Bart asked.
Homer seethed.
Everyone was cleaning again. Lisa dealing with a horny and lustful vacuum cleaner and her saxophone. Homer hallucinated on cleaning fluids fumes and Bart ruining priceless paintings and trying to ring into KBBL radio.
Up in the attic Hugo growled while dusting and clearing out cobwebs. And mopping the attic floor.
Oscar climbed up the ladder.
"Well a tidy laboratory is an efficient laboratory," said Hugo. "But I am rendering several arachnids homeless!"
Oscar stared at him blankly.
"I should splice one of the spiders with um..."
"A clown!" Oscar suggested.
"Clown is not a species Oscar..." Hugo sighed.
"Splice a spider with a clown and make clown spiders!" Oscar yelled.
Hugo face palmed.
...
Bart is ringing in a radio show to win some money or something stupid. He wins. The gag prize is an elephant.
"Well, the money seems tempting but I really want the elephant."
"D'ooooooh!" Homer cries at Bart's choice.
"Nobody asks for the gag prize though!" The hosts reply.
"Gentlemen, I'm not putting down the phone until I get my elephant..." Bart demands. However the phone cuts out.
"Oh real smart Bart..." Homer sighed.
"I'm going to that radio shack! I want my elephant!" Bart went off.
"Eh, for the sake of amusement I'll take him." said Graggle.
"Bart, with $10,000, we'd be millionaires!" said Homer. "We could buy all kinds of useful things like... love."
"You couldn't even buy my love with a million dollars..." Hugo said sharply and offended.
Homer growled at him.
"Or double-ply windows. They look just like regular windows... but they'll save us four percent on our heating bill." said Marge. "Well, they will."
"You all seem to be forgetting the most important thing... which is, that it's wrong to imprison an animal." said Lisa being annoying.
"Lisa, go to your room." Homer barked.
Lisa sulked and went to her room.
"Why did you tell her off?! She didn't do anything!" Marge yelled.
"She was being an insufferable Little miss Knowitall!" said Homer annoyed.
"Let Bart get an elephant! It would be fun!" Oscar yelled.
Bart smiled and tousled his hair.
A few moments later.
"I'll take Bart to that radio station and talk some sense into him." said Homer.
Graggle sighed.
Plot 2
At the radio station Bart argued with the hosts over his elephant. They tried to explain they didn't have one to give him.
"Son just take the 10,000 dollars or we get fired. You don't want to see us get fired right?" said Marty.
"Well..." Bart smirked.
The disk jockeys gasped.
"Fine... we'll pay your school principal Skinner 10,000 dollars to pull down his trousers and stay like that for the whole year?" Bill asked.
"I'll do it Bart." said Skinner somehow in the radio studio.
"Hmmmmm that's tempting but I really want that elephant..." said Bart.
"Hear us out. What about if we use the 10 thousand dollars to surgically transform Skinner into some sort of lobster like creature?" Bill asked.
"Cooooool beans!" Oscar thought that would be cool.
"Hey! Now I didn't agree to that!" Skinner yelled.
"Lobster mutation surgery! Gahahahaha!" Oscar laughed maniacally.
"Gentlemen, I'm not leaving until I get my elephant..." said Bart.
He was thrown out with Homer. Bart got up and started bashing on the door yelling "Where's my Elephant! Where's my elephant!" Continually.
However the disk jockeys just put Baby Elephant moon walk on o drown him out.
Grampa and Jasper were listening on the wireless.
"I love this song! Reminds me of elephants!" said Jasper.
However the radio show got lots of hate Mail demanding they give the little boy his elephant.
The manager explained either they find an elephant or they'll be sacked and replaced by a weather computer.
The DJ 3000.
"No call it the DJ 9000! IT'S OVER 9000!" Oscar yelled.
"How did he get back in..." asked Bill.
"What a bunch of clouds." said the weather computer.
A disk jockey laughed.
"Shaddup..." said the other disk jockey.
Meanwhile to add to the cops being held hostage and Lobster Skinner. Oscar had a country and western station on in the lounge as he rested after cleaning.
Lurlene Lumpkin's song Your wife don't understand you was playing. "You work all day, you load 1.6 tonnes, you sweat and break your back... and what do you get? Another day older and deeper in debt..."
"And that was the song Take this job and shove it! Now looks like those clowns in Congress have done it again!" said the host.
"What a bunch of clowns!" said his co anchor.
"Coooool! Clowns in Congress!" said Oscar.
"No Oz it's a metaphor for..." Lisa explained.
"Clowns in Congress!" Oscar demanded.
Lisa sighed.
We cut to the chamber of Congress full of clowns honking horns and throwing pies at each other.
...
The next day an Elephant arrives at the Simpson house.
Marge opens the living room curtains one morning to find an enormous eye staring at her,
"Oh my!" Marge gasps.
The Simpsons and Oscar all hurry outside to see a fully grown bull elephant waiting for them.
"Why you little! Why did you not ask for the money!" Homer throttles Bart but the elephant grabs him with his trunk and stuffs Homer head first into his mouth. Homer struggles until the elephant releases him.
"Homer are you alright?"
"Eeeeeew! Dad you're covered in elephant slobber!" Lisa groans.
"Eeeeeugh!" Oscar groaned.
"So now I've had my head in the mouth of an elephant, a crocodile and a giant slug." Homer remarks.
The Simpsons looked at the bull elephant. "It looks like it could gore..." said Marge concerned.
"Marge you're right! It does resemble Al Gore!" said Homer.
"Hey!" Al Gore yelled in monotone. "I am super cereal! Excelsior!"
Oscar grimaced.
"ManBearPig is real!" said Al Gore.
"I think it resembles the Republican Party." said Oscar.
"Peeeyeeeew! It stinks though!" said Marge.
"Cooool! I shall call him Stampy! Here Stampy! Let me ride on your back man!" Bart calls to the elephant. Stampy grabs him with his trunk. "Whoooooaaa!"
"Bart!" Marge gasps as Stampy stuffs Bart in his mouth. Bart then gets free.
"Whooooa!" Bart is covered in slobber. "He tried to kill me!"
Stampy then trumpets loudly and scares away the cat and the dog. They peek up from the horizon before Stampy trumpets at them again.
...
The family are then feeding Stampy.
"Stampy, eat a peanut!" Homer tries to offer Stampy peanuts.
"Daaaaad! Elephants are not supposed to eat peanuts! They're herbivores!" Lisa brings out a platter of fruit and vegetables. "Here you go Stampy, don't eat it all too fast." However Stampy quickly eats all the food including the platter. "He ate it too fast..."
Homer then chained Stampy up.
Stampy trumpeted loudly and was upset.
"Dad that's cruel!" Lisa whined.
"Oh pulling on his tail is cruel... yelling in his ears is cruel! Well excuuuuse me for being cruel!" Homer retorted. Stampy grabbed him and stuffed him in his mouth. The family gasped at this. Eventually Homer got free. "Note. Do not taunt the elephant."
Bart smirked.
"Stampy I think this is gonna be the start of a beautiful friendship." said Bart,
Stampy trumpeted loudly.
"What makes you think we're calling him Stampy..." Oscar frowned.
"He's my elephant and I'm naming him..." said Bart. "He's called Stampy."
"No he's called John! John the gay elephant!" Oscar yelled.
"No!" Bart yelled.
"Jonathan then." said Oscar.
Bart face palmed.
"I tell ya Marge, he needs to see a psychiatrist..." said Homer about Oscar.
Marge sighed.
"This is clearly a very bad idea keeping this creature..." Lisa gawked at Stampy.
"In theory Lisa, in theory, so was communism." said Homer.
"WHAT HAS COMMUNISM GOT TO DO WITH A FRIGGIN ELEPHANT!?" Oscar yelled extremely loudly.
...
In the backyard.
"Hey Stampy let me ride on your back man!" Bart demanded to Stampy as he ate the lawn.
"Elephant..." Lisa corrected him.
"Elephant man..." Oscar corrected them both and Joseph Merrick, aka the elephant man appeared.
He muffled and spoke unclearly because of his deformities.
"Oz no!" Bart whined.
"He's been like that all morning. He felt this act needed random stuff like in act one with the cops being held hostage, lobster Skinner and clowns in Congress." Lisa sighed. "Schools gonna be really interesting tomorrow..."
"Yeah sure..." Bart sighed.
Tomorrow.
The kids all got on the bus except Bart who somehow got Stampy to put him on his back and not in his mouth.
"No Bart! You can't ride Stampy to school!" Marge nagged.
"But Mooooom!" Bart whined.
"But nothing young man!" Marge nagged.
At school.
"Good morning children! (Lobster chittering and clicking.) Get to class, don't be tardy!" said Principal Skinner as some sort of lobster hybrid monster.
Bart glared at Oscar for being stupid.
"Frink helped with the science knowledge and the genomes." said Oscar.
Everyone went in except Nelson who pantsed Skinner, pulled down his trousers that is, and laughed at him with his Haw! Haw! laugh and went in.
"Haw! Haw!"
...
In fourth grade. Bart was sat next to the window today.
"Class we will be studying algebra today." said Mrs Krabappel.
Mrs Krabappel was teaching maths when Stampy's trunk stroked Bart's head through the open windows.
Everyone gawked and chattered at the elephant at the window.
Mrs Krabappel sighed. "Why do I bother."
Bart sat there annoyed as Stampy stroked him with his trunk.
Bart kissed Stampy's trunk. "Love you boy. Now go home!" He instructed Stampy to go home.
Stampy trumpets loudly.
Very soon kids in classrooms on other floors (Ie in canon in Lisa's Substitute Bart's classroom is above Lisa's) started gawking at the elephant.
Miss Hoover sighed as her class headed to the window to see the elephant.
"It's Barbar!" said Ralph.
Lisa winced.
Oscar and Ace at the third grade Windows could see Ralph and other 2nd graders poking out the window.
Oh, hi Ralph" said Ace.
"Why isn't that elephant flying?" said Ralph.
Ace fell backwards exasperated.
"This isn't Dumbo!" He yelled.
"When I see an elephant flyyyyyyyy!" Oscar sang in a thick black Louisiana accent.
"Oz no! No racist Disney crows!" Lisa yelled.
"They're not racist!" Oscar yelled back.
...
Homer tries to make money by letting people pet Stampy and ride on him to pay the bills to look after him. (For things like food and vet bills).
A boy strokes Stampy. Stampy Trumpets angrily and smacks the boy across the yard with his trunk.
Everyone gasped.
"Your boy went three feet. That counts as a ride..." said Homer.
"That was never three feet..." said a mom.
"That animal is certainly bad tempered!" said Helen Lovejoy.
"Well anyone would be in a bad mood if-" said Lisa.
"Holy moly! Look out Stampy! It's that evil circus ringmaster from Disney's Dumbo!" said Bart as the evil RingMaster arrived with large men and chains to restrain Stampy.
Red lightning sparked from Oscar.
"Oz...?" Bart stammered.
"I stopped you from taking Dumbo's mother! Not here!" Oscar yelled floating with a red aura, he shot red lighting that killed the circus animal tamers carrying heavy chains.
Bart gulped.
After that day, Homer was adding up the costs of keeping Stampy.
However Lisa reminds him the total cost to look after Stampy is 100 times as much as he thought. So Homer increases the prices for petting and riding Stampy by one hundred times. Everyone angrily leaves.
Homer even gets kicked out of the Van Houtens for asking for money under the new prices.
"Get off our property!" Kirk yelled.
Simpsons kitchen.
Bart was eating the chocolate ice cream portion of the Neapolitan again.
"Stop that! We want to have some chocolate ice cream too!" Oscar screamed at him.
Bart sighed and rolled his eyes.
"Bart stop that! Oscar no raised voices..." said Marge.
Plot 3
At Moe's.
Homer took Stampy so Moe would offer him peanuts all night while Homer had beer.
"I think you're taking unfair advantage of my generous offer." said Moe annoyed.
"Shut up!" Homer yelled.
"Hey! Don't tell me to shut up in my own bar!" Moe yelled.
Stampy trumpets loudly at him.
When they got home.
"Dad stop giving him peanuts all the time! He needs plants!" Lisa sighed.
"Plants eh?" said Homer.
At the park, Stampy eats all the trees.
"Strip them of all the bark now Stampy." said Bart.
"Do you have any more arboretums?" Homer asked.
"Get that elephant out of here!" The park keeper yells at them.
At home a bird starts grooming Stampy.
"That bird is killing him!" Homer gasps.
"No Dad! It's just grooming him!" Lisa explains.
"Grooming him? Ey?"
Indoors one afternoon, a bird is on Homer's head grooming his few hairs.
"Homer there's a bird on your head!" Marge gasps.
"I know, his grooming me." Homer explains.
However the bird is still on his head grooming him in the shower.
"Buddy please! Give me five minutes!" Homer yelled at the bird.
...
Later.
"Uh I think Stampy has left a "package" in the yard..." said Lisa.
"Eeeeeeeeew!" said Oscar.
"Boy he's your pet! go out there and clean up after him!" said Homer.
"Eeeeeugh..." Bart groaned going out to clean up after the elephant.
Stampy trumpets.
They then put on a show to attract visitors to pay to see Stampy or stroke him.
"Ladies and gentle-fish! Step right up and-" said Oscar through a megaphone.
"Gentle fish?!" Bart sighed baffled.
Cleatus guffawed.
"Look Smithers! This reminds me of that fat man I used to ride to work!" said Mr Burns riding Stampy.
"Um yes sir." said Smithers.
One night, Bart decides to sleep in his treehouse. Stampy tucks him in and strokes him.
"Night Stampy..."
However he then grabs Bart. It's revealed he's got Bart in his mouth.
"Um Stampy... Let me out!" Bart's arm pokes out from Stampy's mouth.
Stampy pulls him out and puts him back to bed.
"Thanks, pal..." Bart says shivering in disgust as he tries to go to sleep.
Elsewhere, South Park Colorado.
Kyle ordered an elephant from Africa and later Bart gets annoyed by him copying the Simpsons.
Kenny then fell down a well on someone's birthday.
"Simpsons did it!" Dougie yelled.
...
The next morning he didn't get any sleep.
"What's wrong, Bart?" Marge asks.
"Stampy used me as a pacifier all night..."
Hrrrmmmmm... I was wondering why Bart stank and was soaking wet this morning...
Homer was lamenting the bills.
"Elephant shots, elephant food... a fancy expensive Mexican poncho?! Oh wait that last one is mine. And I'm keeping the poncho..."
Marge sighed. "Bart I know you love that elephant. But he's eating us out of our house and home!"
"Yeah, this money is coming out of your allowance boy..." said Homer.
"Then you'll have to up my allowance to a thousand dollars a week then." said Bart.
"Very well then..." said Homer.
"Homer no! Sweetie I think you're elephant needs a new home..." said Marge.
"No!" Bart whined tearfully.
"Mary had a little lamb! Little lamb! Little lamb!" Homer sung for some reason.
"Raaaaaaaawrrrrr!" Dark Oscar roared possessed by some sort of entity or perhaps Dark Oscar was the entity possessing Oscar.
Homer grimaced slightly frightened.
Later.
Ralph walked down the street humming a quaint and innocent melody to himself when suddenly something caught his eye.
Homer Simpson lying on the concrete with a large elephant seated on top of him, his daughter Lisa and wife Marge trying to pry the large animal off of him.
Seated on the front porch of the Simpsons household was Bart, beginning to laugh at the havoc unfolding.
"Boy this isn't funny! Aaaagh! My spine!" Homer cried because of the full sized elephant sat on him.
"Hi Lisa!" said Ralph.
"Hi Ralph!" said Lisa trying to coax Stampy to get up.
...
Stampy becomes too expensive to look after so the family suggests giving him to an animal sanctuary.
"Oh hell no! That elephant costed me a months wages! I want to be paid for getting rid of him!" Homer yells.
He hires an ivory dealer, Blackheart.
"Daaaaad! That man's clearly an ivory dealer!" Lisa whines. "His shoes are ivory, somehow, his hat is ivory... I bet even his check is ivory..."
"Don't be silly, Lisa, Ivory dealing is illegal anyway." Homer says to Lisa.
Blackheart looked around shifty.
"Besides a man with lots of ivory is less likely to hurt Stampy than a man with very little ivory..." said Homer.
"Are you an ivory dealer, Mr Blackheart?" Oscar asked him.
"Sonny. I've had lots of jobs in my day- whale hunter, seal clubber, president of the Fox network- And, like most people, yeah, I've dealt a little ivory." Yeah because he's evil we HAVE to make a crack at Fox...
Oscar winced.
Then because this episode still has some madness in it... the dog and cat to get attention walked on their back legs trying to talk. "(Santa's little Helper growling) We... love... yooooouuu..."
They fall over yelling and Snowball II screeching.
"Hehehehe! They think they're people!" Homer laughed.
"That is just really disturbing..." said Oscar.
"Well you're not giving Stampy to him! I won't let you!" Bart yells.
"Bart you do as you're told!" Homer yells.
"Moooom!" Bart whines.
"Homer you're not giving Stampy to an ivory dealer! Now get this man out of here before the cops arrive!" Marge yells. Homer grumbles and sends Blackheart away.
...
That evening The Simpsons watch TV.
"Eeeeugh! Fox..." Homer groaned.
"Oh how horrible!" Lisa whined.
Homer took the remote to turn the TV to another channel.
Stampy trumpets furiously.
"No Stampy! Fox bad!" said Bart to Stampy.
Stampy held a sign demanding taxes being lowered.
Lisa rolled her eyes. "What are you gonna cut funds from to keep taxes low?"
One night. Bart decides to go out for a ride with Stampy. Bart's riding on Stampy in his pyjamas.
Stampy goes past Ned's house.
"Great googily moogly! It's the four elephants of the apocalypse!" Ned gasps.
"That's horses, dear..." Maude replies.
"Well, getting there..." Ned says to himself.
At the Simpsons.
"Mom! Dad! Bart and Stampy are gone!" said Lisa waking them up.
"Good riddance..." Homer yawned.
"Homer!" Marge told him off.
"I bet he ran away because of that horrible Ivory dealer!" Lisa ranted.
"That wasn't part of the deal Blackheart! That wasn't part!" Homer yelled.
Oscar winced at his dramatic speech.
"Come on! I'll drive!" said Marge.
"Can I get dressed first? I don't wanna be seen in my jammies!" said Oscar.
"No! No one's gonna see your jammies..." Marge sighed.
...
Bart and Stampy arrive at the Springfield Tar pits.
"Uh, Stampy this is a tar pit." Bart tries to explain they're at a tar pit conservation area for studying prehistoric creatures such as mammoths that died in the tar pits.
Suddenly Homer and the family turn up in Homer's car. They run over a female deer statue.
"D'oh!"
"A deer!"
"A female deer!" Homer, Marge and Lisa say in order.
Dame Julie Andrews is about to sing.
"Don't even think about it!" Oscar warns her.
"Bart you and Stampy come home right now!" Homer yells.
"No, you're going to try to sell him to that Ivory dealer!" Bart argues.
"No he's not sweetie, I won't let him." Marge explains.
"Fine, I'll give him to the animal sanctuary..." Homer groans.
"Woohoo!" Bart cheers not realising he's sinking...
"Bart! You're sinking in the tar pit!" Lisa warns. Bart is sinking up to his waist in tar.
"Ay carumba! Heeeelp!" Bart yells as he sinks deeper.
"Bart don't struggle! You'll sink faster!" Lisa explains.
"Get me out of this gunk!" Bart growls as he tries not to struggle.
"Oh baby! That tar..." Oscar says in a perverted tone as his tar pit/quicksand fetish is triggered.
"Oscar why are you turned on by someone sinking in a tar pit..." Lisa winced.
Oscar was watching Bart sink with a weird grin as apparently he has a quicksand fetish.
"Guys hurry!" Bart whined as he was sinking deeper into the tar.
"Stampy save Bart!" Lisa says to Stampy. Stampy does as he's told and pulls Bart free of the tar.
"Phew! Thanks Stampy." Bart says to Stampy.
"Are you alright?!" Marge asks him.
"Just a little messy from the tar, but I'm fine, Mom." Bart replies checking himself.
"Well you're having a bath as soon as you get home, Mister!" Marge nags him.
Bart sighed.
Plot 4
The next day, they give Stampy to an animal sanctuary with other elephants.
"This place is beautiful!" said Lisa.
"And so much room for the elephants to run about in. How kind!" said Marge.
"Yeah but we spent all that money looking after a fully grown bull elephant..." Homer sulked.
However Stampy starts trying to push the other elephants over.
"Cool! Look at Stampy bear up those elephants! Go Stampy!" Bart cooes.
"He's asserting his dominance." Lisa explained in a nerdy manner.
Elsewhere Homer was doing the same thing to the nature reserve keeper.
"Sir what are you doing?" The nature reserve keeper asked.
"(Grunting and head butting) I'm frustrated over how much this has costed me! Ugh! Take my money will you!"
"Dad relax, you should be happy Stampy is somewhere he can be properly looked after." said Lisa.
"Yeah, we can owe all our adventures recently to this feisty feline..." said Homer.
"Daaaddd... feline means cat..." Lisa explained.
"Elephant dear... Elephant..." Homer replied.
Lisa made a frustrated sound.
"I wanna ride the elephant..." Hugo whined.
"Well you can't." Homer said sharply.
"Homer let him ride the elephant!" Oscar said fiercely with glowing red eyes.
Homer sighed. "He might not even let you ride him. He doesn't even listen to Bart!"
"Actually I've mostly got Stampy to listen to instructions and not stick me in his mouth. Mostly..." said Bart.
Hugo was gnawing his own leg bored.
The Simpsons had nothing to do or say so they just looked about and scratched themselves.
...
At the animal sanctuary restaurant Homer was feeling sour about not being able to sell Stampy to Blackheart the Ivory dealer.
"Dad are you still annoyed that we wouldn't let you sell Stampy to that horrible Ivory dealer?" asked Lisa.
"Yes..." Homer groaned. Stirring at his food.
"Dad how would you like it if someone killed you and pulled out your teeth and made you into a grand piano?" Bart asked angry.
"I'd like that very much..." said Homer stubbornly.
"Really..." Bart asked.
"Yes..." said Homer.
"I wouldn't mind being turned into a grand piano! I could have my one TV show! Oscar's orchestra... hehehe!" said Oscar.
The Simpsons sighed at his stupid references.
Hugo was eating his food like an animal. Tearing at it furiously and tossing food about.
"Eat properly you freak! Didn't we teach you table manners?!" Homer yelled.
"No we didn't Homer! He doesn't know any better." said Marge.
Bart grimaced as he stared at Hugo alarmed.
After lunch they fed Stampy and looked at all the elephants.
Homer took to yelling in his ears.
"Dad stop that! That's cruel!" said Lisa.
"Yelling in his ears is cruel. Pulling on his tail is cruel. Well excuse me if I'm cruel!" Homer ranted.
Stampy grabbed him and stuffed him in his mouth again.
Homer gasped as he got free. "Okay, I've now had my head in the mouth of an elephant, a crocodile and a giant sloth..." said Homer.
"Dad that last one is impossible! Giant sloths are extinct!" said Lisa.
"The giant slug makes even less sense! There's no such thing as a giant slug..." said Oscar.
A giant slug slithered past.
...
Then in South Park, Kyle got himself an elephant somehow. Probably because they wanted to reference when this happened on the Simpsons.
Bart yawned bored by Kyle copying.
Then Kyle wanted to breed it with Cartman's pot bellied pig, to create pot bellied elephants. Or elephant sized pigs...
"Coooool! Crimes against nature..." said Oscar thinking that a pig elephant hybrid would be cool.
"Pigs aren't kosher, Kyle..." said Jurkle, Oscar's Jewish friend.
"Oh yeah... Why am I doing this?!" Kyle asked himself out loud.
"Hey Kyle, what's that elephant doing?" Stan asked.
The camera pulls back to get the elephant in the picture.
"You mean this one?" Kyle asked.
"Yeah." Stan asked.
"He's my new pet elephant." said Kyle.
"Eh! Copycat..." Bart groaned.
"Bart shut up! My show did an elephant episode first!" said Kyle annoyed.
"Whoa dude! Where'd you get a pet elephant?" Stan asked.
"No one cares! Because you're copying my show!" Bart ranted.
"I got it mail ordered from Africa. The ad said it would take 4 to 6 weeks, but it only took three." said Kyle.
"Wow, that's cool!" said Stan joyfully.
"No it's not cool! My mom won't let me keep him in the house. She says he's too big, and that his poop is bigger than our couch." said Kyle stung and annoyed he could not keep his beloved elephant. "Plus Matt Groening keeps suing for copyright infringement! You can't copyright a concept like a main character getting a pet elephant..."
"Sieg Heil!" Cartman yelled. Doing a Nazi salute.
"Hey shut up! Fat ass!" Kyle snapped.
"Ay! I ain't fat! I'm big boned!" Cartman yelled.
"Anyway I bet one of your friends shot the town's cruel, Scrooge like billionaire." said Bart snarking.
"No. we don't have any cruel, Scrooge like billionaire Nuclear Power Plant owners." said Stan.
"We just have loads and loads of celebrities." said Kyle.
"We had a circus once." said Kenny muffled.
"A new circus does sound fun. But leave the elephant's peanuts alone!" said Marge before telling Homer off because he was eating the peanuts meant for Stampy.
Homer whined. "Awwwwwwww!"
...