Chapter XXIX: Water

Yugi didn't want to blame Atem for Yami's sudden depression but there was no other explanation. He'd taken him outside to discuss something and when they'd returned, Yami had been noticeably troubled. Atem had withdrawn into himself at some point as well, likely long before they'd returned. He'd settled toward the back of the den, only responding quietly when spoken to. Whatever they'd spoken about had hurt them both. Yugi didn't know who to comfort, though he realized it was likely more vital to do so with Yami. Atem could hold his own. He didn't need Yugi to help him back from whatever darkness he had crawled into. He'd pulled himself out of every grave he'd dug before; he knew how to handle it.

Yugi plopped down next to the hatchling. Yami looked up as he licked his cheek. "Ew, Daddy!" he squeaked, pulling away slightly and then laughing with delight when Yugi chased him with his tongue lolling. He hurried after him as he took off to hide behind Timaeus.

The Knight Dragon startled, standing and bristling briefly before Yami got behind his leg. Then he looked down, snorted, and trotted away. Yami glared and huffed as Yugi grabbed him with his paws and slathered his face with licks.

"Father!"

Atem looked over, bristling, but snorted when he realized what was going on. Yami struggled desperately beneath Yugi's paws, clawing up stone and sand and squirming pitifully. Atem snickered and smirked, shaking his head as he considered them.

"Daddy!"

Atem tilted his head. "Yugi's tongue is too rough for me to run intervention, Yami. I suggest you put those paws to use and dig your way out," he teased.

"Abuse!" Yami declared, squirming and failing to get out from beneath his paws. He huffed and struggled, then narrowed his eyes and changed direction. He spun around as if to face Yugi, then ducked beneath his forelimb and darted away. He got to the other side of the den, spun around, and crowed with triumph.

Yugi grinned wider, watching him before giving Atem a sideways glance. Something in his mate's face was odd, however. He was still smiling, but Yugi could tell it was strained somehow. Something in his eyes was guarded but also confused or maybe even startled. He looked almost dazed when he blinked and shifted his weight. His head tilted as he considered the hatchling, though he didn't speak.

Yugi didn't know what had passed between them, but he wasn't sure it was a good thing. He got to his paws and wandered over to Atem, pausing when his mate turned his head with a blank stare and eyed him a moment as if he did not recognize him. And then he blinked and relaxed. Yugi moved to press into his side, looking over as Yami pounced at Timaeus and was swatted aside. The hatchling sprang to his paws and jumped again, repeating the process.

Atem let him snuggle into his flank and lay down comfortably. He didn't object when Yugi began grooming him, nor did he move away when he finally lay his head on his legs and closed his eyes. Yugi wished he could have pretended Atem was comfortable, but he could feel the smallest inkling of tension. There was something cold and rigid in his bones and his muscles were tight.

He closed his eyes. If Atem chose to speak to him about it, he supposed he'd wait. He didn't have a reason to pester him for information. He would come out of his shell again eventually. And Yugi would welcome him with licks and snuggles.

He remained like that until Atem settled his neck atop Yugi's head and fell asleep a couple of hours later. The Gandora shifted his weight and blinked an eye open to glance at the other two occupants. Timaeus had fallen asleep. Yami was playing with one of the river stones, tossing it into the air and catching it. He threw it back and forth about the den and each time he surged forward so quickly he could catch it before it fell and made a thud. Yugi was amazed by how light Yami seemed, so quiet he didn't make a noise when he landed.

The realization was almost terrifying.

Was Yami underweight? He'd never considered before, because he looked so incredibly healthy and he'd never shown even the smallest hint of illness, but was Yami possibly underweight? Was that why he made no sound as he landed?

The hatchling landed and looked over, tilting his head and huffing a breath. He dipped his head and put the stone down, staring at him. "I'm just small," he snapped in an uncharacteristically frustrated tone. "I'm small. I'm not sick."

Yugi flinched and Atem shifted his weight. He hadn't woken up. He still heard the soft cooing that pronounced his resting state. The Gandora mumbled, "I'm a worrier."

Yami glared at him for a single moment. Then he sighed and smiled slightly. He tilted his head and considered him, then looked away. "I've noticed." He grabbed another stone and bounced about, catching and tossing it. Yugi watched him as he made laps around the den. The constant movement helped to lull him to sleep.

He woke again at dawn. Atem had lifted his head and was trying unsuccessfully to get his paws out from beneath his chin. Yugi could see he was tired and troubled. He pulled away to let him up and Atem straightened with a hollow pop of his spine. He shook himself, glanced around, and then turned to him.

"Morning."

Yugi grinned. "Hi!" He could have trembled he was so happy to see Atem relaxed like this. The God Dragon smiled at him slightly, then stretched and flexed his toes. When he straightened, he jumped atop the ledge leading to the entrance and glanced over his shoulder.

"Care to join me?"

Yugi sprang to his paws and raced over, nearly throwing Atem into the wall when he tried to land alongside him. He grinned wider than ever as Atem led the way out. Atem usually wandered off on his own and spoke to him later. The fact that he'd invited him now made his entire body shake with happiness. He hurried to his side as soon as there was enough room.

"You seem in high spirits."

Yugi kept pace with him and raised his head slightly higher. "It's been a nice morning."

Atem looked skeptical when he shot him a sideways glance. "You only just woke."

"The small things are what make a day good." He looked around. "Are we going hunting? Are you hungry?"

"I wanted to stretch and take a walk." Atem studied him. "Are you hungry?"

"Maybe just a little." Yugi cast him a small grin. "I thought you would be, too, but I can always just…catch food for myself and then you can eat on your own later?"

Atem narrowed his eyes, expression bewildered. "No, that's not necessary. I'll likely become hungry if we go hunting." He shook himself out and began pacing forward once more. Yugi quickened his steps to keep up with him. "Is there anything you'd like to eat?"

He hesitated. "The pink fish are always yummy."

The Sky Dragon snorted. "Afraid I won't eat if you choose red meat?"

Yugi tried not to duck his head sheepishly, nor hiss with frustration that he'd been caught. Instead he smiled awkwardly, baring his teeth slightly, and said, "No. Why should I be worried about that?"

His mate smirked, shaking his head. "Because you're a tiny little worrier Gandora and I know you well enough to recognize when you're trying to compromise when you don't have to."

Yugi couldn't argue with that assessment. He was right. He'd hoped fishing would spur Atem into an appetite. He had noticed Atem leaning toward the strain of eating every few days rather than daily again. He'd adopted the strategy to avoid being seen by suitors when he was not ready, but he'd abandoned it for a few moons before and after Yami was born. If he was leaning towards old habits, Yugi couldn't be sure Atem wasn't ill—and refusing help—or just suppressing something he shouldn't have.

"What if I said I wanted red meat today?"

"I'd call you a liar."

Atem snickered. "How brave of you to insinuate a God Dragon might speak falsely," he teased. He butted Yugi's shoulder and chuffed when Yugi licked his cheek as he straightened. "You're right, however. I'd rather have fish for breakfast."

Yugi smirked. "I knew it!"

Atem snorted and shook his head. He led the way to the river and looked over his shoulder at him as he took a seat at the edge of the water. "Have you ever done shallow water fishing?"

"Shallow water fishing?" Yugi repeated, taking a spot a few feet away to avoid the spray. He wrapped his tail around his paws and sat up taller, blinking in bewilderment. "I've only ever fished using the net, and that's usually deeper into the river to make it more effective. I never really thought about shallow water fishing."

Atem nodded slightly and turned back. "Perhaps I should teach you and Yami as well. It might be useful to teach him to swim later," he mumbled. Yugi bristled faintly. He sounded far away again, as if he were looking for something that wasn't there.

He opened his mouth to answer, but startled when a large pink fish was thrown from the water. Its side was gouged open and it landed at his paws, instantly dead. Yugi blinked, surprised, but chewed it happily so that the flavor spread over his tongue and made his toes tremble with satisfaction.

"Do you know how to swim, Yugi?"

He faltered in swallowing, almost choking. Another fish was flung in his direction and he forced the rest of his meal down his throat. "I… Yes, but it's not something I like to do," he managed to breathe. He flexed his toes and clenched his claws so that they dug into the earth. He bristled faintly and tried not to shake harder.

"Is that because of your Fire Dragon genetics?" Atem commented. He'd slapped another fish from the water and straight atop the one in front of Yugi. He watched it land and slide awkwardly down, the two pieces of prey soaked so as to slip atop each other.

Yugi considered for a split second that he could just turn and walk off without answering. It was shameful, but the thought crossed his mind. Atem wouldn't follow. He'd let him think and come back if he felt that was what he needed. Yugi had never simply up and wandered away when they were talking. Atem would likely assume he'd overstepped and broached a topic Yugi didn't want to discuss.

And it was a partially correct assumption. But it wasn't altogether right.

Yugi lowered his head and chewed thoughtfully on another of the pink fish, trying to think of what to say. Atem slapped another, then a second and third, before Yugi had even finished chewing his first mouthful. He shifted his weight as they slid atop each other and fell onto the dirt beside the original set of fish. He swallowed and watched.

Atem looked graceful and sleek, waiting only until he saw the fish he wanted. Yugi would have questioned him if he hadn't known why. Atem had commented once on his eating habits, as to why he swallowed some whole and then chewed the others. Yugi had admitted he disliked the black and dark gray ones, which were slimy and occasionally made his gums tingle if he chewed, while the pink and the silver which glittered a million colors like a rainbow were his favorites. Atem had always made sure to catch only his favorites from then on, even if Yugi had teased him about the pink fish being delicious moments before.

He swallowed another mouthful, then looked again. Atem had shifted his weight and raised his left paw, as if he might strike his newest query the opposite direction. But then he lowered it again and shifted his weight, never lifting his eyes from the water. When he struck with his left paw, a huge silver fish with glistening scales was launched from the water to land on a stone nearby. It flailed and kicked and struggled as if it might get back to the water, but died a few moments later.

"My mom always refused to go near the water," Yugi said quietly. "Unless she could see the bottom, she refused. She never told me why. I assumed it had to do with her being a Fire Dragon and hating water, because I hated water when I was younger. My dad didn't care. He'd launch himself in a pool and swim around, bathe, or soak himself without a care in the world. I decided I wanted to be like my dad when it came to that—especially because I knew you loved water."

Atem didn't make a noise to acknowledge him, striking another fish and launching it toward him, but Yugi knew he was listening.

"I used to swim just a couple of feet away from the shore of whatever pool it was, because my mom would panic when I went any further." He paused. "She wouldn't tell me why she was so afraid."

The God Dragon nodded slightly in encouragement.

He shifted his weight and sighed softly, looking away. "I was with Jonouchi when I finally found out why. We were hunting and I saw a pool with fish. It was pretty deep. So, I launched myself in it and managed to catch the fish I wanted. It was really pretty, bright red where the sun touched it. I wanted it because it reminded me of you, so I…"

Atem swatted another fish. It landed with a thump and slid off the other bodies. Yugi watched it as it gagged and flailed a moment, but quickly ceased movement a heartbeat later.

"Anyways, when I caught it, Jonouchi was freaking out. I figured it was a Red-Eyes thing at that point, and I was going to dismiss it. And then he asked me…why I wasn't afraid."

Now the God Dragon turned his head to look over, golden eyes narrowing.

"I didn't know what he meant. I told him it was a fish and I wanted it—because I thought maybe it was the fish. Maybe Fire Dragons weren't okay to eat fish. I figured by then it was because of my mixed genes that it didn't affect me." He looked at Atem sideways. His mate was staring at him, bewildered but growing slightly suspicious. "I wasn't scared to start eating so I ignored him after I said that. But he persisted. He came over and asked me why I wasn't afraid of drowning."

"Drowning?" Atem echoed, scoffing. "What?"

"I asked what he meant. And he said drowning was when you went underwater and didn't come back up." Yugi faltered, looking away and back shamefully. His stomach knotted. "And when I laughed and said that wouldn't happen, he said I should hope not. He said if it did, since I was half Fire Dragon, my soul would be trapped beneath the water."

Atem snorted, "What?"

"He said that Fire Dragons that drowned didn't get to go to Purgatory or Paradise. They were just…stuck." Yugi risked another glance. Atem was staring at him, bewildered but also visibly struggling not to laugh. He felt his stomach knot more furiously. "He wasn't the only one who said that, though. I heard a Fire Dragon say they'd never go into the water for fear of that. And someone else said it, too. I heard it so many times after. I…I thought maybe Jonouchi was kidding and messing with me. But it still scared me, because he said it with such certainty. And I was utterly terrified from then on. Humans don't have that belief, though, and so, if I go fishing I use my human form because it makes it…easier, because the humans know drowning exists but they don't believe in their souls being trapped there. So, I…"

Atem blinked. "That's not true," he said quietly, gently. "No dragon's soul is left beneath the water, no matter species or temperament. I don't know where this superstition comes from, but it has no grounds. If a Fire Dragon drowns, it is because they cannot swim. It is not as if the water seeks to kill them. So why might it smother and restrain their soul?"

Yugi considered him, tilting his head curiously. "I…never considered that."

The God Dragon searched his face. "Would you like to hear a secret, Yugi?"

He blinked wide eyes. "Yes."

"If you ever go into water and cannot get out or stay above, as long as you can fly, you can float. If you do not struggle against the water, it will not smother you. Your body becomes heavier with water in your scales, but your fire lungs will keep you afloat, as they do in air. As long as you can keep air in those lungs, you are safe." Atem shifted his weight. "The only thing you must do is keep your wings flat atop the surface. It will keep your head above water. It will keep you floating. Even if you just open your wings underwater, it'll force you up to the surface."

Yugi stared, uncertain. "I've never heard that."

"Your friends aren't known for swimming." Atem smiled and turned back. "You can ask Timaeus. I taught him to swim when we were together prior. It's one of his favorite things to do—can't fly to save his life, but swims like a fish when he wants to."

He laughed before he could stop himself. He exhaled, relieved, and smiled tightly. "You want to teach Yami to swim?"

His mate froze for a single second, and had Yugi not known him so well, he would have assumed he imagined it. Atem struck another fish, then turned to him.

"Yes."

He said it so simply Yugi almost didn't recognize the reasoning behind it. But he saw the glint in his eyes and the way the gem on his forehead grew darker, like a stormy blue-gray.

Atem hadn't chosen to innocently teach their son.

He'd chosen to because he was scared.

Yugi looked down and chewed on one of his fish, refusing to glance over again. A few heartbeats passed. He risked a glance only when Atem wandered over to the second pile of fish, swallowed them whole, and then began walking away.