Chapter XLII: Healing

Yugi woke to someone nudging him roughly in the side. He startled awake, expecting for a moment it would be Atem. His mind scrambled for answers, immediately bursting to the brim with fear something had happened to Yami. But the face in front of him was too small to be Atem's and the elongated skull did not match. The streaks of black were nothing Atem possessed and this face did not have two mouths.

"He's back," Yami whispered, looking tired and crestfallen. "He's at the outcrop. He's still upset, so be nice when you see him."

Yugi faltered, torn between the instinct to comfort him or just take off to find Atem. He paused a moment, then licked his face. "It'll be okay," he said gently. "But stay here with Timaeus, okay? I'll be back."

Yami nodded and Yugi took off immediately, bursting from the tunnel entrance and racing for the outcrop. He skidded, panting, and nearly fell over his own paws as he turned the corner. He almost slammed into Atem who looked up in shock and then snorted upon seeing him. Yugi scrambled forward and pounced, licking his face even as he spat, "You dog-brain! You're a…a stupid head!"

Atem pushed him away with a paw and then pressed him back with a wing, considering him curiously. "Yugi—"

"You left!" he snapped, infuriated. "You left us!"

"You are perfectly safe," Atem answered, dodging a swipe of his tongue. Yugi backed up and charged him, slamming into him with enough force to pin him. He licked his face harder, then nuzzled his wounded cheek and exhaled gently against his skin. "Yugi…"

"You can't do that, Atem. I've been worried all night." He sniffed the wound again, though it smelled only of healing flesh. He relaxed, grooming the scab and nuzzling again. "Yami said you wouldn't want to see him. He's still in the den. Where did you go?"

"A blind spot to the other gods, and yet I can't escape my own son," Atem muttered sourly. Yugi pulled back and fixed him with a glare that made Atem sigh and look away. "I went to the edge of the territory. I needed some time alone to think. And I shouldn't have scared you by running off like that, but I…I couldn't deal with this all at once. It took everything in me not to kill him when he tried to check on me. I…"

Yugi looked him over for a moment. "He's pretty convinced you hate him."

"I don't."

"I know, but he's scared you do." He searched his face. "You need to make this right with him the moment you get the chance. You know that, right?"

"I know." Atem looked over his shoulder and turned back. "But I…I need to explain to you, before I do with him. I can't… I can't face him right now if I can't explain it to someone else first."

Yugi blinked and nodded. He took a seat and wrapped his tail around his paws, waiting. "I'm all yours."

Atem snorted and sat up from where Yugi had knocked him over formerly. He smiled and shook his head, then straightened slightly. "A year or two after Timaeus and I separated and I first announced myself the God Dragon of the East, I got a visitor. They were the strangest dragon I'd ever seen—barring you when you showed up covered in mud. They had two larger hind legs and wings with the forepaws serving as the joints. The claws were long and sharp and jagged, like they were supposed to be able to eviscerate but weren't quite hooked enough. And they had yellow flame marks across their skull. They had bright golden eyes and they were almost the same size as me from head to toe. They had two sets of teeth, with huge canines on the bottom outer jaw. They even had tusks on either side of their jaws that they could sharpen either set of teeth on and helped keep their prey in place. I was amazed, because they looked so much like me but they were clearly a Fire Dragon just from their darker red color and the arrogance they displayed."

Yugi nodded in encouragement when Atem fell silent for a moment. The God Dragon blinked at him, then seemed to relax and smile faintly as he looked him over.

"I was curious, so I asked what species they were. He said he was a Uria, Lord of Searing Flames. I asked why they were called that. And he told me that no flame in existence could harm him. I was dismissive because it seemed like some kind of comment meant to make me feel overwhelmed or flattered." Atem paused and shook his head. "I didn't listen. We fought and I pinned him, but he refused to accept that. He attacked again. I managed to beat him back, but he gouged my side and he nearly tore my wing off. He got up again. I started using magic but nothing even slightly stunted him. He didn't care. He took my wind breath, fire, lightning, water, without pause. He found it funny. He almost pinned me after he managed to rip my shoulder to the bone. He almost managed it. I panicked and managed to throw him off. He got up again. And I finally used my ice breath."

Yugi felt his stomach churn. The first and only time Atem had ever interacted with a Uria, they'd refused to accept defeat and tried to forcefully mount him. He had every right to be terrified. He had every right to be fearful of what Yami was capable of between his display of abilities already and the dragon he resembled.

"He shook it off at first. I thought for sure he was going to mount me and I'd be used as a trophy from then on. He came after me again, and then his flesh started peeling. All the sudden his flesh was burning away right before my eyes. His jaw disintegrated. It unhinged and hung all lopsided and then it fell off. And the body slumped and collapsed and then his skull…deteriorated to nothing and he was just a mostly headless stump…"

Yugi shivered.

"It was the one and only time I've ever used my ice breath offensively. And it…was traumatizing. I was so scared after that—I puked all over myself in a panic. And I was just sitting there, trying to catch my breath and deal with everything." Atem blinked and trembled as if he were a leaf in a gusting wind. "And Timaeus came to visit…"

Yugi nodded slightly. "I know." He leaned forward to lick his forehead. "I know. It's okay, bright sky. It's okay."

Atem trembled for a few moments, then exhaled shakily. He shifted his weight and got up, pacing a few steps back and forth. He paused, considering Yugi closely, and then turned and faced him as he came to a standstill. "I don't… I don't know what Yami did back there. I was fighting with Bakura and I was beginning to aim for his throat. I was going to decapitate him. And then suddenly I wasn't. It was like something severed in my head. My entire body shut down. I don't know… But when I could actually…feel my body again, he had latched himself onto Bakura's throat."

Yugi blinked and shivered. "Like when he wanted to meet Timaeus."

"No," Atem said firmly, "when he did that, he blinded me for a second and ran. But this time…he…completely disabled me. I felt like everything was burning and I couldn't…think or see or anything."

He glanced toward the den, unnerved.

"He didn't mean to. I don't think he meant to. I think he just… I don't know. I guess he got scared." Atem fell silent for a moment. "It doesn't matter. What's done is done. But I… When he was latched onto Bakura, he had his wings positioned where his paws were and I just… I remembered that Fire Dragon and I couldn't deal. I couldn't… I was terrified of him."

Yugi turned back. "It's okay," he whispered. "I love you, and it's okay. Yami isn't upset with you. He's afraid you hate him because of what happened, but he's not upset with you."

Atem glanced over his shoulder toward the den. "I'll speak with him later." He turned back and slunk forward a few more steps. Yugi considered him, then winced when he saw the wound that still marred the flesh in front of his leg. "Can you help me with this first? It's irritating, and I don't want it to get infected. But whenever I move, it pulls and—"

"Of course," Yugi blurted, eyes wide. "Give me a few minutes to gather the herbs and—"

"Or you could just let Yami heal it," Timaeus snorted as he took a seat a few inches back. He tilted his head as they both looked over with wide eyes. Yugi wondered how long he'd been there and how much he'd heard. "You know Yami can do it. He fixed your paw when Jaden nearly tore it off."

Atem hesitated a moment. "I don't know if he'd want to."

"Are you kidding?" Timaeus scoffed. "He just wants you to be okay. And it'd probably make him feel a thousand times better after he messed up so badly."

"Messed up?" Atem echoed. "Did he tell you?"

"Yeah. He did a little…dream walking and told me about it," he admitted, considering Atem patiently. "He's scared you're too upset with him to want him anywhere near you, because of what happened. You might want to bridge that gap a little, you know?"

Atem grunted and sighed, sounding chastised. "Fine. You two stay here. I'll speak to him."

"Well, I'd hope you'd do more than just speak to him, considering you need your side healed," Timaeus teased. Atem scowled, then shifted his weight and limped past, skulking a few feet before pausing as if to catch his breath. "By the gods, how deep is it?"

Atem glanced at him, ashamed. "Don't ask," he breathed. And then he turned and limped off. Yugi hurried forward when he struggled to get to the entrance of the den. The Gandora placed his head beneath his rump and pushed him up and forward, then climbed in after. Atem glanced at him over his shoulder as if to argue, then saw his expression and seemed to think better of it. He grumbled something along the lines of Yugi being too clingy and then crawled forward. But when he got to the ledge, the Sky Dragon faltered and crouched, seemed to debate jumping, and then stopped again.

"Does it hurt that much?" Yugi asked, eyes wide. He searched Atem's face and then glanced down. Yami was laying completely flat at the far back of the den, peering at them without raising his head.

"It was agony getting airborne." Atem stretched a paw as if to test whether he'd be able to go over the edge without hurting himself, winced, and then withdrew back to his starting point.

"Yami," Yugi called, fighting and failing to stop the panicked note in his voice. Yami stood up and stared at him, bewildered. "Come up here. Atem is hurt. He needs help."

The Uria didn't hesitate. He darted so fast across the den he seemed like a streak of red, landed atop the ledge, and hurried over to Atem's side. "Is it the one in front of your leg?"

Atem looked at him a moment, then moved to lay down. "Yeah, it's that one."

Yami nodded and scooted closer, then nestled between Atem's leg and flank. Yugi watched him snuggle against the wound, laying there and licking gently. Atem twitched a couple of times, clearly in pain still, but did not protest or so much as make a sound. After a few minutes Yugi saw his eyes struggling to remain open. His head dipped a few times, as if he were trying not to drop it just yet. And then he yawned and lowered his chin to his paws. After a minute he cooed, and Yugi turned to Yami with a scowl.

"He didn't fall asleep last night, did he?"

Yami looked up at him. "He did for small increments. But he was in a lot of pain. I think he was in shock for a long time, so then it finally kicked in when he was asleep for a couple of hours and he kept waking up because the pain would start again."

Yugi sighed and fought a bristle. Atem was home now. He was safe. Yami would heal him and he'd be fine. That was all that mattered. He watched Atem sleep, breathing soft and even, and then looked at Yami. "What did you do, when Atem was going to kill Bakura?"

"If he'd taken Bakura's head off, he would have cut himself at the same time. I didn't want him to lose a heart," Yami mumbled, licking the wound again and settling more comfortably against Atem's side. Yugi found himself stunned when he looked at the spot. Where it had been angry and sore-looking before, now it was almost completely closed and clean. "I…I stopped him. I blocked his aim and I guess I overdid it."

Yugi considered him a moment. He was sure Yami already understood not to do it again. He was sure Timaeus had already given him that lecture. He watched Atem again, relaxing and shaking his head. "Okay." He looked Atem over and nearly trembled. The wound was closed there and Yami had gotten to his paws, sniffing along his father's body. "Are you going to try to heal the rest of the wounds?"

Yami nodded. "I might as well. I'm here. And he's asleep, so this is the best time to." He settled at his elbow and stretched himself to where he could touch his beak to Atem's cheek. The Sky Dragon shivered as if he might jerk awake but did not respond any further. He remained fast asleep even as the wounds on his face and neck began to heal. Yami remained there for a long minute, then got to his paws.

"Yami?"

The hatchling blinked and shook himself out. "I'm not leaving. I just wanted to lay here," he mumbled, going back to Atem's hind leg and settling again. He lay his chin on Atem's paw, blinking and sighing quietly, and looked at Yugi. "Are you all right?"

"Me? Of course. Why wouldn't I be?"

"You seemed shaken up when you saw how hurt he actually was."

"I…barely got to see him before he fled. I was trying to clean a couple and then he ran off." Yugi sighed. "But it doesn't matter. He's okay."

Yami nodded slightly. "He is. He's okay."

"What was Bakura even doing here?"

"Seto didn't think it was worth telling us Bakura was at the camp when we visited," Atem growled, not bothering to open his eyes. "Apparently he saw Yami and decided it would be fun to rip him limb from limb."

"Lovely brother," Yugi grumbled. "The three of them make me so happy I'm an only dragonet."

Atem snickered and finally raised and turned his head. "You don't say? It's a blessing, for certain."

Yami remained where he was. "I didn't know anyone could have so much rage in them," he whispered. "Bakura was just…a giant thunderstorm of hatred."

Atem glanced over at him. "He was definitely a miserable beast."

Yugi smiled, unable to contain himself. "So, how do you feel?"

His mate looked over. "Much better, no thanks to you." Yugi opened and closed his mouth, stunned, and Yami snickered. Atem smirked and bumped his beak before moving to stand. Yami got up and moved aside to give him more room. The God Dragon shook himself out and jumped down from the ledge. "I wasn't expecting you to be able to heal me that fast. It took you all day when Jaden mangled my paw."

"I've been practicing using my other abilities," Yami mumbled. "And healing isn't much different from reading thoughts or auras. Keeping one practiced helped a lot with the other."

Atem nodded and lay down again. Yugi glanced at Yami when the hatchling refused to move anywhere near his father. He looked back and Atem curled up, cooing as he fell fast asleep once more.

"He's been asleep a while."

Yugi looked over. Atem was still resting, Yami lay near Timaeus, watching Atem intently, as if he expected him to wake at any moment. Yugi turned back to Timaeus. "He's a tired dragon. What can I say?"

He wished Atem would wake up. It made him nervous he'd been resting for so long. It was stupid, but he almost feared it was some kind of adverse reaction to Yami healing him. The thought didn't make any sense, but he still worried as if it might explain something of the slumber Atem was caught in. Yet he knew better. Yami wouldn't have done it if it would have hurt Atem in any way. Yugi couldn't imagine Yami harboring a vicious bone in his body geared toward Atem. He loved him too much.

It made Yugi's hearts warm.

"He'll wake soon," Yami mumbled, looking at Timaeus and tilting his head. His eyes shot to Yugi and he turned to Atem again. "I think he's just catching up on his sleep from last night."

A small hush settled over the den again, and then Yami sprang to his paws. He darted over to Atem as the God Dragon stretched and yawned, moving to stand. Yugi watched Yami quiver and rub against his legs, so enthusiastic he almost managed to knock Atem over for a split second. He rubbed beaks with him, licked his face, then took a seat and considered the three of them.

"If you have an issue with my sleeping habits, you can take them up with me," Atem said, huffing as he shook himself out. He yawned and butted Yami's side when he continued rubbing against him and purring. "Jerk."

Timaeus laughed and got up to look him over. "Glad you're awake and healthy. Yami is quite the little healer."

Atem hummed and looked down. "I'm expecting Seto or Malik to find out about Bakura. One of them had to know he was coming here. It wasn't as if Bakura would have bothered coming to see me without bragging to one of them about what he planned to do. Which means it was most likely Malik. Seto would have argued and tried to talk him down, if only so he wouldn't have Yami's blood on his paws if Bakura managed it."

"It also makes sense Malik would have let him do it," Yugi mumbled, sighing. "He likes to follow until he knows there's an actual possibility of his own hide getting skinned."

Atem nodded and looked at Yami again. "Which…in that case, Yugi and I might need to be out and about more often. Timaeus and Yami might need to stay in the den," he continued quietly. "Jaden will probably hear about it soon enough. Malik will probably tell him all about the little rumor Bakura was chasing and I have no leg to stand on where that's concerned."

"If he comes here, we'll convince him Yami doesn't exist."

"Until eventually we slip up and get caught."

"Basically," Yugi agreed. "But it's still something. It still buys us some time, even if it's not a lot."

Atem sighed and turned away. "Yes. And let's hope it's enough."

Atem woke to Yami pacing. Yugi and Timaeus were still asleep, Timaeus further along the wall of the den and Yugi atop the ledge as if to hold vigil. He was half-convinced Yugi thought Bakura might rise from the dead and come after them, or Malik might just appear out of nowhere and attack the four of them.

"Yami?"

He paused and whipped around. "Did I wake you?"

"I don't think so." Atem couldn't really remember what had woken him. He just knew Yami's pacing kept him awake for the moment. "What's wrong?"

"I can't sleep," he grumbled. "I keep having nightmares, and now I don't want to try again."

"Oh." He blinked. "About what?"

Yami looked at him as if he'd smacked him, pausing and opening and closing his mouth before turning away abruptly. He began moving back and forth again and Atem sighed softly. "I didn't realize I was going to hurt you when I tried to help you against Bakura."

Atem blinked. "Help me?" he asked. "What are you talking about? I was aiming and you…stopped me."

"You were going to hurt yourself if you did it. You would have hit your jugular at the angle," Yami huffed, spinning around to face him again. He stomped his paws and then paced more furiously. "I didn't mean to hurt you when I did it. But I didn't want you to hurt yourself just because you were scared he'd get to me."

"If you had gotten further and run to Yugi like you were told—"

"I stayed because I saw it. You were going to wind up in that position no matter what. And he was going to die when you struck him, but you'd die with him. And I couldn't just let that happen." Yami shook his head angrily. And then he deflated. Suddenly he turned to him, blinking, and whispered, "I apologized to Yugi. I even apologized to Timaeus. But I never apologized to you."

Atem tilted his head. "If your reasoning is pure enough, I don't believe an apology is necessary. Sometimes you do what you feel is right and you have to, and that's the decision you live with, no matter who objects. If you believed you needed to, don't apologize for it."

Yami hesitated. "You don't want me to apologize?"

"Are you sorry?" he asked finally. He shifted his weight. "You did it to save me."

"But I overstepped. And I did it without considering what could happen after. I…I hurt you." Yami blinked at him, crestfallen. "And I didn't apologize when it happened. And I should have."

"But why are you sorry if you achieved what you needed? I'm not upset with you. I was before, but I didn't understand your intention when it happened. All I knew was you'd disobeyed and intervened to kill Bakura, after somehow severing my ability to fight." Atem studied him for a long time. "I was scared more than angry. That was why I snapped at you."

Yami lowered his eyes. "I shouldn't have done it without considering what might have come of it. I'm sorry for that. But I'm happy it worked."

"Then the apology is unnecessary." Atem blinked. "So, these nightmares are about dealing with Bakura?"

His son paused mid-step, then slowly turned his head and watched him for a moment. "No, I…I keep seeing you go limp." He whipped around and paced faster. Atem studied him, then looked away. "I don't… I-I hate violence and I didn't want to kill him, but I don't regret it. I did it because he was going to kill you. And I stopped it."

Atem nodded. "And that's good. You should never kill for pleasure. Life should never be taken for your own joy."

Yami looked over at him again, pausing and searching his face. "But…how am I going to know the next time I have to kill?"

Atem watched him for a moment, shifting to stand. "You kill when you have tried everything and you are forced to the ground. If it becomes a matter of your life or theirs, you must always save yours. Kill with mercy. Make it fast, efficient, and never draw it out. Victory should never be punishment, only ever enforced."

His son blinked, then moved forward to study him. He was inches away when he tilted his head. "How will I know when I've exhausted every other option? Will it always be as apparent as it was with Bakura?"

"Not always. There were plenty of times I thought it safe to turn my back and found myself nearly killed for it." He sighed. "Not everyone kills out of malice. Some do so to save another, and sometimes you understand and others you don't. But, the best way to gauge is when you've exhausted every trick to make them see reason. If they keep fighting, they often have nothing left to lose. Death becomes a mercy for a rotted mind. Remember that. Killing is never a punishment, never for enjoyment, and should never be done without reason."

"I don't want to ever kill anyone again."

Atem snorted. "You'll find blood likes to linger on every dragon's claws," he said bitterly. "This was your first taste, but it won't be your last."

Yami hesitated, then moved to his side. He rubbed against his leg for a moment before taking a seat. "But why? I don't want to hurt anyone. I don't want to have to kill anyone."

Atem looked over and considered him curiously. "And that's true for most of us. Not every dragon is like Bakura. Not every one is like Seto or Malik, Keith or Jaden. But it's also true you can't like everyone, and sometimes quarrels will break out no matter how hard you try to prevent them."

Yami blinked, frowning. "But didn't you say before that I should try to like everyone?"

"No, that's impossible, little ruby. But, should someone need help, I believe it is worth offering them aid no matter who it is." Atem sighed and shook his head. "I think you should always offer aid, even if they decide they will not take it. Do not let them take advantage should they accept, but never turn your back when you offer. But… I do not believe you can like every other dragon in existence."

Yami tilted his head. "But Timaeus said I should always try to find the good in other dragons."

"And even humans," Atem agreed. He wished he could wipe the memory from Yami's mind, but the damage was done. The most he could hope for now was that Yami would understand in the future what he told him. His hearts hurt as he considered. He'd had Timaeus to teach him this, whereas his parents never had the chance. He just had to hope Yami eventually came to understand. "You should always be kind, to dragons and humans and even the animals you eat. It doesn't matter who or what it is. If it has a soul, you need to show it kindness."

Yami shifted his weight. "But why? Why to prey and why humans? You don't like humans."

"No, but I don't intend them harm and they fail to bother me in turn," Atem said gently, then licked his face. "And you need to be kind to your prey because they exist to feed you. They don't exist for your anger to be taken out on in surplus killing or lengthened attacks for fun. You should always show kindness no matter what. Because I love you, and you'll be happier if you offer kindness instead of anger."

Yami watched him for a moment, then smiled and licked his beak in turn. "Okay, Father! I'll be nice no matter what."

"Just remember kindness is never a weakness, Yami. Just because you show kindness does not mean you have to turn away from necessity. If you are threatened and it cannot be resolved without violence, then you must fight."

Yami paused. "But I don't want to fight like that again."

"I don't like it, but fighting is part of survival."

"But why?" the Uria blurted, crestfallen. "I don't understand. If everyone is supposed to be kind, why do we have to fight?"

"Not everyone is kind. You've seen that firsthand. You know my memories, and you met Bakura. But that changes nothing. I want you to be kind. That doesn't mean everyone else will be. It's not easy for others to understand kindness over aggression. I even still struggle with it." He sighed softly, then licked his forehead again. "But it's not something you'll need to watch out for like I did. I'll protect you no matter what. And so will Yugi. We love you. We'll keep you safe."

Yami blinked up at him, then snuggled into his side. "I know. I just…" He closed his eyes. "It doesn't make sense. Why can't everyone offer kindness instead? It'd make the world a better place, right? And things would be easier?"

"Yes, but…the world can't survive on only one type of personality. Nothing would ever…change. Everything would become stagnant. And there are varying measures of kindness." Atem paused. "Seto is kind to his clutch, even though he hates me and despises Yugi. Yugi is kind to me, but he'd kill Seto if he got the chance. Timaeus has never hurt someone without merit, so when he does fight he either has to kill or incapacitate. I've never been kind to a stranger, but I've always offered aid where necessary. I've always been kind to Yugi and to Timaeus and you, but I'd kill someone for being a threat. It all…changes depending on the situation."

Yami sighed, then laughed and pressed himself against Atem's leg. He sounded overwhelmed, and Atem wished he could have helped him understand better. But there was no guidance he could offer. He wasn't the pinnacle of kindness. That was Yugi. He wasn't the pinnacle of mercy, no matter what Yugi thought. He killed when he had to, and oftentimes it wasn't so swift because he had to find the opportunity to aim for the kill.

He nudged his shoulder. "Go back to sleep. You'll feel better in the morning, when you have the chance for all of this to…seep in."

Yami snorted but curled up obediently. He stared at him expectantly and Atem hesitated before stretching and circling several times. He lay down after a moment and made sure to encircle Yami, laying his chin on his paws.