Chapter 21 Relationship Advice

For a few minutes, there was no sound in the room. The silence rested on top of Ludwig, submerging him like an ocean of uncertainty. The fact that Lemmy wasn't immediately responding to this bit of news didn't help matters. A pit formed in Ludwig's stomach, a void that gnawed at his innards and threatened to swallow him whole if the silence went on for much longer.

Fortunately, Lemmy did manage to say something. "Are you sure?" he asked, his voice a hushed but no less excited whisper.

Ludwig bit his lip and furrowed his brow. He didn't feel like he would be able to actually say anything, so he just nodded at Lemmy. His brother's eyes grew wide, and he gawked at Ludwig without moving so much as a single muscle.

And then, an explosion occurred. "WOOHOO!" Lemmy jumped up off the bed with his fist held high. He jumped around like a rabbit on caffeine, seemingly experiencing the purest form of bliss. "I knew it! I knew it, knew it, knew it!" He stopped bouncing and instead did a little dance. "Ludwig and Aria, sitting in a tree…"

"Lemmy!" Ludwig exclaimed, partly because the "sitting in a tree" speech was irritating as all get out. However, that wasn't the main reason why he interrupted. No, that honor belonged to his shame. He felt like he was shrinking into the pillows, felt like he was going to throw up with how many different, strong, negative emotions set up camp in his head. He tried to talk, but his stomach churned so much that he felt like he really was going to vomit, and therefore give away all the emotions brewing around inside him.

Thankfully, Lemmy noticed Ludwig's expression. He looked over at his brother, this time with considerably less joy than before. "Ludwig, what's…?" It then occurred to him. When it did, it seemed like all of Lemmy's happiness and hope for the future got sucked out. "Wait." He approached Ludwig, this time with concern and realization shining through his features. "You still haven't told her about Frostwall, have you?"

Miraculously, Ludwig actually managed to say something this time. "No. I haven't."

Lemmy's face fell so low that it could hit the core of the planet. "Oh man…" he put his hand to his head. "That's not good. That's really not good!"

Ludwig bit his lip. "No, it most certainly isn't." He put his hand to his stomach again, praying that it would relax and let him feel less nauseous. Unfortunately, he knew that wouldn't happen. His stomach was acting in conjunction with the thoughts running through his head, and those thoughts wouldn't leave him. Ludwig reasoned that the only way they could leave him was if his brain got surgically removed from his body.

"What are you going to do?" Lemmy asked.

Ludwig felt even sicker. "I… I don't know." He really didn't know, as none of the options that ran through his head appealed to him. Whether it be telling Aria and ruining any chance that they had about forming a relationship, or not telling her and living a life that was built on a lie, Ludwig's options weren't exactly the best. And the more he thought about them, the more stuck he felt, the more he felt like he had no chance of getting rid of his horrible bout of nausea.

So, he looked Lemmy right in the eye. "What do you think I should do?"

Lemmy stiffened up. "Me?" He hesitated, biting his lip and putting his hand to his chin. He clearly wanted to choose the perfect thing to say, when in reality all Ludwig wanted was just one, one piece of advice. He didn't care if it wasn't perfect. Heck, he didn't even care if it would ruin his chances with Aria; he just wanted one piece of advice to act upon in this confusing, difficult situation.

Unfortunately, after a little bit of consideration, Lemmy's face sank and he let out a sigh. Ludwig tried to mentally prepare himself for the disappointment, but even then, he didn't do a good job at that.

"I don't know," Lemmy said.

Ludwig sighed. He should've expected this. Of course it would be difficult for someone to give him advice in this scenario. After all, how many times could a scenario like this occur? How many times could someone say that they were in love with a girl who they had accidentally killed in an alternate timeline? Ludwig imagined that it didn't happen often, so even the wisest people wouldn't necessarily have the answers he sought after.

"Sorry," Lemmy said, sensing Ludwig's disappointment. "I'm sorry I can't help you, I just…" Lemmy hung his head. "I really don't know what to do here."

Ludwig nodded. "I don't blame you." He readjusted his position on the bed. "I guess this is something that I'll have to tackle alone."

Lemmy's brow furrowed at that statement. "I'm so sorry." He leaned forward, giving Ludwig a hug. Admittedly, this action helped Ludwig feel better. Not a lot better, but at least he felt just a twinge less nauseous and scared than he had previously.

"Well…" Lemmy said as he let go. "I… I guess I'll go down to breakfast." He got up off the bed and went over to the door. Right before he stepped out, he gave Ludwig a look. "You gonna be okay?"

Ludwig nodded. "Yeah." Honestly, he was kind of impressed with how quickly he managed to answer that question.

Lemmy nodded and went out. As the door closed behind him, Ludwig let out the longest sigh he had ever made and fell back onto his back. He stared at the ceiling, contemplating the very scary facts that he now was forced to deal with.

"I'm in love with Aria," he repeated. He couldn't believe he was saying it. He couldn't believe his was feeling it! He couldn't believe any of this! Oh, this was just horrible! Now he was stuck between the world's worst type of rock and the hardest type of hard place. He almost didn't want to get out of bed. He wanted to stay, pushing his feelings so deep into his psyche until they eventually vanished once and for all.

But he knew that wouldn't work. Honestly, he couldn't believe he had kidded himself for this long. Deep down, he knew that he had always been in love with Aria. The second he looked into those glittering purple eyes when she came to the castle, he knew. Sure, not every part of him knew, but instinctually, he had been attracted to her. This had always been the case, right from the start. And honestly, looking back now, Ludwig realized that all those attempts at denying it were absolutely pathetic. His love and attraction toward Aria had been plainly obvious to everyone. Everyone, that is, except for his own conscious mind.

He scowled and turned over on his side. When he found that doing that didn't provide him with any comfort, he instead decided to stand up. He fluffed his hair, trying to do something that would hopefully lessen the intensity of these thoughts and realizations. He ran his fingers through once. Then twice. Then thrice. Each time he did, he increased the speed. And as he increased the speed, the more aggravated he became. Soon enough, his fingers ran through his hair so fast that they were in danger of pulling off some of the blue strands. Ludwig grit his teeth, refusing to stop.

That is, until he noticed his hands were flaming up. He removed his hand from his head and looked at it, at the blue fire covering it and threatening to burn down the entire castle. There was something so… horrid about looking at it now. After all, these flames were the source of Ludwig's grief. These flames destroyed Frostwall all that time ago. These flames were the ones that had collided with the mountain, burying Frostwall in a grave of snow, ice, and dirt. These flames were what killed Aria.

When he had these thoughts, Ludwig sniffled. He lowered his hand, no longer feeling any anger. He wiped some of the tears from his face, regretting every last action that led him to this very moment. His tears only increased in frequency as he thought about Aria's face. He longed to be with her… and yet, he had no idea what he should do. His heart and his head were saying two completely different things, and neither one of them helped Ludwig feel any better about that situation.

He turned toward his bedside table. That's when he saw the xylophone, sitting there shiny as ever. He wiped his eyes and went over to it, picking up the mallet and tapping the purple key. His stomach churned again. His heart felt like it was just one push away from giving him a heart attack. He almost turned away from the xylophone…

When he saw something beside it. He picked up the letter from Logan, staring at it as if it would provide him answers. He eventually realized that, maybe, it could. He could set up a meeting with Logan. After all, advice from a friend felt like the exact thing that Ludwig needed.

…

About three hours later, Ludwig stood in front of Logan's door. Wiping dust off his cloak (and avoiding looking at his jasper button, as the memories of how he got it just made him feel worse), he took a step forward and knocked on the door. A few minutes later, a koopa stepped out. It wasn't Logan though; this koopa had a bulky frame and a red beard (a fact that impressed Ludwig, considering there were very few koopas he knew who could grow facial hair). His golden bald head was shiny, but not as shiny as his cherry red eyes as he looked at Ludwig.

"You must be Ludwig," he said.

"You must be Garnet," Ludwig responded, putting on a smile as he extended his hand. "It's very nice to meet you."

"No no, the pleasure is mine," Garnet said as he took Ludwig's hand and shook it. "After all, you and your family are the reason why Logan are together today." He grinned. "I owe you a lot, man. I owe you everything."

Ludwig chuckled. "You don't owe me anything, Garnet. You and Logan just living your best life together is all the payment and satisfaction I need."

Garnet chuckled. "Well, that's good." He gestured for Ludwig to follow him. "Come in, Logan's waiting for you."

Ludwig nodded and followed Garnet inside. Garnet ultimately took him to the kitchen, where he saw Logan leaning over a cookbook. The skinny koopa scratched at his black hair, the most confused look on his face as he tried to engrain the recipe into his brain.

"Logan!" Garnet said. Logan looked up from the cookbook (a good thing too, as it looked like reading it was providing him a whole lot of mental pain), and when he saw Ludwig, his face lit up.

"Ludwig!" He approached, now wearing a smile not too dissimilar to the ones that Ludwig and Garnet wore. "It's so nice to see you!"

"You too," Ludwig replied. He looked at the cookbook. "Trying to bake cookies or something?"

Logan's face fell. "Baked Alaska, as a matter of fact."

Ludwig did a double take. "Baked Alaska? One of the most complicated desserts one can make?"

"That's the one." Logan shook his head as Garnet laughed. "We got invited to a dinner party a few days ago, and I said I would bring Baked Alaska." He snorted. "Probably the single most stupid decision I've made in my life. I can't bake and I can't cook, so all that's left for me to do is stare down at a cookbook and question all of my life choices."

Ludwig chuckled. "I know that feeling." Deciding to change the subject, he looked between the two of them. "By the way, I never got a chance to congratulate you guys on your engagement!"

Garnet beamed. "Thank you!" He went over to stand behind Logan, rubbing his shoulders as he did. "We're both really excited!"

"That we are." Logan put his hand on top of Garnet's as he looked over at Ludwig. "You'll attend the wedding, right?"

"Is that even a question? Of course I will!" Ludwig smiled. "I wouldn't miss it for the world!"

"Thanks," Logan said. He patted Garnet's hand now, looking up into his fiance's eyes with so much love. Ludwig felt happy for them… but he also felt a little bad. This display made him think about Aria, if he and she would be able to experience something similar sometime in the future.

Because of this, Ludwig's face fell. "Logan." He cleared his throat. "I want to talk to you about something."

Logan blinked. "Oh. Okay." He laughed. "I guess I can step away from all the progress I made with baking for just a minute." That got both Ludwig and Garnet to laugh. Logan led Ludwig to the living room. Once both of them were seated, with Ludwig on the couch and Logan in a recliner, Logan looked over at him. "So, what's up?"

Ludwig hesitated, trying to piece the words together. He wanted to say the exact right thing, convey his plight in the most concise manner possible. This was why want he did end up finally saying surprised him a little.

"I'm really happy for you two." Sure, that was the truth, and Ludwig's happiness only grew the more he thought about and saw Garnet and Logan together. Seriously, Logan deserved it after spending three years stuck in a cat body.

"Thanks," Logan said. He chuckled as he pushed some of his jet black hair out of his face. "I really hit the jackpot with Garnet. He…" he actually got a little choked up as he said this next part. "He waited for me. All three years that I was gone, he never stopped waiting for me." He sniffled. "I knew Garnet loved me before, but…" he dried a tear from his eye. "Sorry, sorry, I know I shouldn't be crying. I just… it just happens whenever I think about him, you know?"

"Yeah, I get it." In a way he could relate to that, as he felt a specific emotion whenever he thought about Aria too. Only difference was that Ludwig felt guilt as opposed to the joy Logan experienced.

Logan readjusted his posture so that he wasn't slouching. "Yeah, he's just incredible." He leaned forward. "Ludwig, promise me this. When you find someone, whether it be a guy or a girl, you cherish every moment with them. You got that?"

Ludwig felt a pang. "Uh… yeah, about that…" he once again felt nauseous, a feeling he tried to push to the side. "I… I have found someone."

Logan blinked. "You have? That's awesome!" He smiled. "What's their name? What are they like?"

Ludwig swallowed a lump. "Her name is Aria Shellcreep." He smiled. "And she's awesome. Everything, from her appearance to her personality, is just amazing. I…" Ludwig paused for just a minute, questioning whether or not he would be able to admit this out loud. "I want to ask her to date me. I want to marry her too, and grow old together with her."

Logan smiled. "Aww!" He put his hand to his chest. "You really do seem to be in love with her." He chuckled. "It sounds adorable, the way she's stolen your heart. You need to hold onto her Ludwig; hold onto her and never let go no matter what happens."

Ludwig took a deep breath. "Yeah… about that…" He let the breath out, causing himself to rise into the air. "It's… there's something that complicates things." He willed himself to fall back onto the couch. "And that something complicates things a lot."

Logan blinked. "How so?"

This was the point where Ludwig hesitated. He recalled how Logan didn't know about the Frostwall incident, as Ludwig refused to tell him due to the fact that Logan grew up in Frostwall. Ludwig realized that he needed to tread very carefully in this territory; this wasn't a pool that he could just cannonball into.

So he spoke very slowly. "You see, Aria and I have a history together. I… I did something… in our past that is really bad. Aria doesn't know about it though, and if I told her… well, it could really change her perspective on me. It could make it so that she could potentially hate me."

Logan's face grew grim. Not so grim that he looked angry at Ludwig, but grim enough so that the smile was no longer on his face. "I see."

"Yeah." Ludwig actually felt a little embarrassed saying this next part. "But I want a relationship with her! I want to be able to date her! And if I tell her about what I did… well, that might not happen." He sunk into the couch. "It's these two contrasting realities that puts me in this place. I… I don't know what to do."

There was a little bit of silence. Logan adorned a contemplative expression, which Ludwig took as a good sign. Right after Garnet had come into the room and given him a kiss, Logan then looked at Ludwig with a serious expression.

"I think you should tell her."

Ludwig wasn't really surprised by this statement, as almost everyone he talked to said he should tell her (and again, he himself had thought it would be the best thing to do before he had his realization). However, he was interested in hearing Logan's reasoning, so he asked "Why?"

Logan put his hands together. "It's the best thing to do. Yes, it would be really nice if you two had a relationship, but this sounds like some information that she needs to know." He looked a little saddened. "And sure, revealing this might make her dislike you, but it's the right thing to do. Especially since you love her. When you love someone, at least in my experience, you want what's best for them." He smiled as Garnet came back into the room with a bowl full of cherries. After he thanked him, Logan turned back to Ludwig. "And sure, what's best for her contradicts what you want. But it still needs to be done. Telling her would show her that you respect her as a person, that you aren't willing to lie to her just for your own selfish gain." He smiled. "Does that make sense?"

Ludwig paused, contemplating everything that was told to him. On some level, it was similar to what Aino and Roy had said regarding the subject. And honestly, the symmetry only drove Ludwig to think that yes, this was indeed the right way to approach things. "Y…yes. It most certainly does." He sat up a little bit. "Thanks Logan."

"You're welcome. I'm glad I could help" He held out the bowl of cherries. "Now, why don't we eat something so that I can tell you about our wedding plans?"

Ludwig smiled as he telekinetically got three cherries out of the bowl. "That sounds great."

…

Three hours later, Ludwig exited Garnet and Logan's house. He stood on the front stoop for a little bit, going over everything that was told to him. After a little bit, he took a deep breath and faced forward.

"Okay. No more screwing around." He let out his breath. "I'm going to tell Aria about Frostwall."