Chapter 22 The Truth Hurts

He knew he had to do it. He knew it was unavoidable. He knew it was the ethical and moral thing to do. He knew he had no choice.

And yet, as he stood on the front stoop of Aria's house, he wanted nothing more than to run away. Like he had been doing all this time. He knew it was the coward's way out, but at the moment, there was nothing he wanted more. He wanted to leave Aria to continue having the thoughts she had about him, as uninformed as they were. He wanted to pretend this horrible secret wasn't even real (something he had been wishing for for years, even before Aria came back into his life). If he could maintain the illusion, and just let Aria develop her opinions on him divorced from the horrible, heinous act he had committed in his past, then he would be the happiest Koopa in the world. He wanted that; he wanted to keep on pretending and keep on ignoring the very big, very ugly elephant in the room.

But he couldn't.

He knew it was time. Despite how much he had dreaded this time coming, he knew it had to be now. Anymore delays would make the reveal so much more shocking on Aria's end, and would only serve to make it all the more worse for him. So, with a heavy heart and a heavy stomach, he knocked on Aria's door.

"Come in!"

Ludwig obeyed, turning the knob with a heavy bout of hesitance. "A… Aria?" he called out. He closed the door behind him, feeling like both his mind and his will were about to shatter into a million pieces.

"I'm in the kitchen."

So, swallowing a lump, Ludwig made his way over to that specific room. Like he did when he was flying over to the house, he rehearsed what he was going to say in his head. He rehearsed so much and so thoroughly that it unintentionally caused him to slow down, to delay the inevitable. Upon realizing that he had come to a complete and utter halt, he cursed under his breath and resumed walking. He reasoned he should probably do this sooner rather than later; lift the band aid off, so to speak. Of course, lifting this band aid off would only serve to make more wounds appear, wounds that were far more painful and far less manageable.

His heart pumped. Could he do this? He knew that he should, that it was required, but… could he do this? Was he actually capable? He already knew that it would have disastrous effects on Aria. Just imaging the shock and disappointment in her gorgeous purple eyes once again reignited the desire to run away. He felt like he couldn't do this, at least for a moment. It felt like his tongue was going to seize up right in his mouth, making both talking and breathing an absolute impossibility. He almost stopped again, believing that no, he couldn't do this. He wasn't capable, so therefore, he should walk away and just leave Aria to live without knowing about the secret. Ignorance, after all, is bliss.

"Ludwig?"

Ludwig took a deep breath. I can do this. Every cell in his body was screaming at him to bolt, but he chose to ignore their cries. He could do this. He could be a man and tell her the truth. That's what she needed at this moment.

So, he continued on his path to the kitchen. He expected to see Aria leaning over the stove (even though he didn't detect any smells that would indicate that she was cooking). This was a kitchen, after all, a place where food was prepared. As a consequence, he was not prepared for the sight that met his eyes. Aria kept her head down, her eyes locked on a test tube. Based on the red color of the contents, Ludwig assumed that it was filled with blood. She also had a dark magic tracker in her hand, one that was… eerily silent. Ludwig had a feeling it wasn't supposed to be quiet, a feeling that he was almost positive he shared completely with Aria.

"Hey," he said, using a low volume as he walked over to her.

"Hey." For once, she didn't look at Ludwig and smile at him. Instead, she kept her eyes glued on the dark magic tracker. When he looked, Ludwig noticed that there was a confusion in her eyes, an awe that was potent enough to seep into the mood Ludwig felt.

He walked over. "Is… is everything okay?"

Aria bit her lip. She held the dark magic tracker closer to the container of blood, the blood that Ludwig was beginning to theorize was her own. When the dark magic tracker stayed silent, she let out a long sigh and set it on the table, therefore casting the device to the side.

"I don't get it." She shook her head, the confusion in her eyes growing at an exponential rate. She turned toward Ludwig, who felt really concerned at her expression. Something about it just felt so… wrong to him.

"W… what's wrong?" Ludwig asked, still feeling hesitant and unsure.

Aria didn't answer right away. She ran her hand through her hair, which Ludwig noticed was a lot more unkempt than it was normally. Based on the way her brow was furrowed, Ludwig also suspected that she was experiencing some kind of stress, which no doubt was tied to the blood on the counter.

When she finally did answer, she said the absolute last thing that Ludwig would've ever expected. "Nothing's wrong. That's the problem."

Ludwig blinked, his own brand of confusion settling in. "Uh… what's that supposed to mean?"

Aria stole one more glance at the blood and the tracker before turning back to Ludwig. As she started to explain, Ludwig's insides became squirmy. This squirmy feeling only increased the deep she got into her explanation.

"Recently, I've been having these dreams. Nightmares, to be more specific." She paused, looking at Ludwig with a caution that honestly puzzled him. "These nightmares… well, they're reoccurring. And in the demon hunter world, recurring nightmares usually mean that something foul is it play, that you are under the influence of some kind of dark spirit." She stole one more glance at the items on the counter. "I've been suspecting that's what's been happening to me. But…" she paused, uncertainty present in every single one of her features.

"You've seen no evidence of such, have you?" Ludwig asked.

Aria sighed. "No. All the tests both me and my colleagues have performed on my blood have come up clean." She rubbed her arm, in a spot that Ludwig suspected was the place she had drawn the blood from. "I… I don't understand. I really don't."

Ludwig frowned. He almost didn't want to ask this next question, as a theory formed in his mind. It didn't really have much of a basis, but Ludwig suspected he knew the contents of Aria's nightmares. And if his theory turned out to be correct…

"What have your nightmares been about?"

Aria seized up. The way she looked at Ludwig, the amount of fear on her face as she looked into his eyes… that was all the confirmation Ludwig needed. His whole being, from his heart to his body, sank. It sank under the weight of what was unsaid, of what was implied through Aria's very expression. He almost didn't want to hear Aria tell him about the nightmares, as he knew it would only cause shame and guilt to stir up within him.

Regardless, he still kept his ears opened when Aria let out a shaky, frightened breath. "They've been about Frostwall." She curled a strand of her hair back out of her face. "In both of them, I was back in the city, and I was a little kid again. And…" she hesitated again, looking at Ludwig with a squirmy variation of worry. "And you were there, in both of the dreams."

Ludwig swallowed a lump. "W… what was I doing?"

Aria held her hands behind her back. "Well, in one, we had a snowball fight together, like how we did all the way back when we first met. And in another, you came out of the Library of all Mushroom World knowledge looking very angry." She looked him in the eye. "Again, like you had when we first met."

Ludwig's heart ached so much, despite knowing that wasn't the extent of the dreams. How could it be when none of what was described so far would qualify as nightmare material? How could it be when Ludwig recognized the tragic end that both of these nightmares seemed to be leading to?

"What happened next?" He spoke quietly, whispered as a matter of fact. He seriously didn't want to hear this, even though he knew he had to.

Aria bit her lip. "Well… both dreams more or less end in the exact same way. The whole city undergoes an earthquake before a wave of darkness shows up." She looked like she was about to cry. "It… it engulfs the city. Burying it forever."

Even though his heart wasn't exactly experiencing a high mood at this point, it still sank. Of course. He wasn't surprised; he could be seen as an idiot if he did feel surprised. It seemed to him that Aria was reliving the past. The event Ludwig dreaded with all his being, to be more specific. She of course wouldn't recognize what that was, as she more than likely only had memories in the timeline where Ludwig saved Frostwall as opposed to destroyed it. But still, the fact that she was having these dreams meant that him being back in her life ignited something within her, something that had been buried like the city in the original timeline.

All the more reason why he had to tell her.

"I don't know why this is happening to me," Aria said, her voice filled with worry. "I mean, I was so certain that dark magic was within me, feeding me something that is horrible to witness and be a part of." She shook her head. "I don't… I don't understand…"

Ludwig took in a breath. There was no way to avoid it now. He had to come clean.

"I do. I understand perfectly."

Aria blinked at him. "What do you mean?"

Ludwig put his hand to the jasper she had given him all those years ago. "Aria, what you dreamed about isn't caused by dark magic. It's caused by a memory."

Aria blinked again. "A memory?" Her expression contained to very different emotions. On the one hand, she looked at Ludwig like he had gone insane right in front of her. On the other, she looked inquisitive, like she wanted to know more. Neither one of these emotions were ones that Ludwig blamed her for.

"Yes. A memory."

With that, he finally opened up and began to explain. He explained hos he reacted when he find out the true origin of the special koopas, and how extremely angry he had been when Kamek had tracked him down and confronted him outside the Grand Library. He didn't mince any word when he told her about how he had started multiple fires as he flew over the city, and how Frostwall got buried underneath an avalanche forever.

When he finished, Aria's jaw dropped. The fear that he had lost his marbles was now so much more prevalent in her expression. She kept her eyes glued to him, as if she could will him to spill even more of his guts with her gaze. Something that Ludwig was very willing to do.

"The reason why all this could happen while you're still around today is because of time travel." Ludwig cringed as he scratched the back of his head. "I know it sounds ludicrous, but it's true. Iggy built a time machine about three years ago, which I used to go back in time and stop myself from ever destroying the city in the first place." He frowned. "This created a hybrid timeline, giving everyone who was impacted by the event in anyway two sets of memories." he looked into Aria's eyes, almost crying when he saw so much fear where there used to be so much sparkling. "That's how you're able to have nightmares surrounding the event. You obviously don't remember the timeline where Frostwall was destroyed because… well, you were dead. However, it does make perfect sense to me how you were able to recall the events that occurred right before the city's destruction." He directed his gaze toward the ground. "All too much sense to me…"

Aria's eyes were wide. She looked away from Ludwig, so many emotions brewing on her face that it would take a decade to list them all. "That…" she looked back at Ludwig. "That sounds insane! You have to be joking with me."

Ludwig cringed. "I wish I was," he said, his voice dangerously low. "But I'm not. That's what actually happened. I promise I'm not making this up."

Aria didn't move, save for putting her hand up to her head as her eyes stayed wide. "You…" on some level, it looked like she was still trying to piece together, still trying her best to believe what had actually been told to her. For almost anybody else, that notion would probably be impossible. However, as Aria looked back at her dark magic tracker, Ludwig could see in her eyes that she was starting to believe him. Despite the fact that it was insane, that it was an impossible thing for any person to actually do, she had decided in her heart that she was going to believe him.

And once she believed him, she looked back into his face. She didn't look angry, necessarily, but she did look appalled. "Why didn't you tell me earlier?"

"Um…" Ludwig struggled to answer this, fearing that he would make himself look worse than he already did. However, after a little bit, he decided that wasn't worth worrying about. He already looked horrible to her; there was no use trying to redeem himself. "I thought about it. And in all honesty, I really should've told you earlier. However, various things kept getting away. Whether it be because the moment wasn't right, or because I was… was a coward, I just couldn't."

Aria frowned. "So what finally caused you to decide to do so."

"Honestly?" Ludwig cringed, knowing that these were not ideal circumstances for anyone to say these words under. "Because I realized that I love you."

Aria did a double take. The surprise returned to her face, the alarm. Ludwig couldn't read her mind, but he had a feeling he could guess what was running through her. None of what he imagined was pleasant.

"And… because I love you… I couldn't keep this from you anymore. You deserve to know. You deserve the utmost respect from me, and me keeping this from you for the rest of time wouldn't be me giving that to you. It would just be… manipulative."

Aria didn't say anything, but she did nod, which provided Ludwig with a little drop of comfort. At least she understood what he was getting at. At least she understood his line of reasoning.

And with that, Ludwig's heart dropped into the worst type of sadness he had felt in a while. "I'm so sorry Aria." He thought about stepping closer to her, but ultimately decided against it. "Not a day goes by where I don't regret destroying Frostwall. I know… I know it's unforgivable." He hung his head, his sadness growing even stronger. "And I don't expect you to ever do so."

Aria frowned. She stood stock still, looking like a statue as every question in her mind got answered. She turned away from Ludwig, who was honestly a little surprised to see that there were tears growing in the corners of her eyes.

"I think you should go," she said, her voice low. "I… I need some time to think about this."

Ludwig's sadness only grew stronger. While that response wasn't nearly as explosive or as hateful as all the other reactions that he had imagined in his head, it still stung. In fact, it probably stung more than those other examples. While Aria wasn't necessarily angry, she was still hurt. A fact that caused Ludwig a world of pain, knowing that he had hurt her. Sure, he had known he had hurt her for over a decade, but seeing how he did it now? Seeing her finally realizing what he did and how sinful and awful it was…

Ludwig ultimately tilted his head back down to the ground. Without any words, he decided he should respect Aria's wish and leave her to think about this whole thing. With his gaze still directed toward the ground, he made his way toward the door. Aria didn't follow him, something that, while he understood, only caused him more pain.

But that pain was nothing in comparison to when he shut the door behind him. As he shut the door, he realized that this was over. His friendship with Aria. All the fun memories that they could build together. All the avenues and roads that their relationship could go down. By closing that door, he not only shut himself out of Aria's house. He shut himself out of her life.

It was only natural that that realization would cause him to cry. He stood on top of the stoop, sniffling and drying as many tears that fell as possible. His heart was so heavy, heavier than he could ever remember it feeling. He didn't regret telling Aria, but he did wish he didn't have to. He wished that they had just met under normal circumstances, and therefore build a relationship up from there.

So, with his eyes still full of tears, he rose into the air. He looked back down at Aria's house for a brief second, only to whimper, turn around, and forever fly away.