Chapter 13: Advice
Eddie wakes up, stretches and slowly climbs out of bed. She makes her way to the bathroom and starts her morning routine. After a while, she pauses as something hits her – she felt absolutely fine. No nausea, no lightheadedness, nothing. Taking a risk, Eddie reaches for the banned bottle of shampoo. She pops it open and takes a whiff. She braces herself but… nothing. No reaction.
"Interesting…" Eddie mutters as she decides to test the theory further so she walks out of the bathroom and into the kitchen. She starts opening containers of different foods smelling them. She grabs one, sniffs, and her face scrunches up "Okay that one smells bad just because its past its prime." She decides before throwing it in the trash "But none of you…" She happily notes as she looks around talking to the food containers "…are making me sick!"
At that moment Jamie walks into the kitchen "Um who are you talking to?"
"The food containers." Eddie simply explains as she moves to open the coffee grounds container and takes a whiff "Ah that smells nice!" She quips before her face falls "Damn now I want coffee."
"No." Jamie rejects.
"I know." Eddie sneers "All I'm saying Jamie is I think I'm past the hurdle. So far nothing this morning is making me want to throw up or making my head spin – not even that." she states as she points to the foul odor coming from the trash.
"Really?" Jamie states in surprise.
Eddie happily nods her head.
"Nice!" Jamie exclaims as he holds his hand up for a high five and Eddie easily meets his hand in a congratulatory slap. "The next 6 months should be a total breeze now." He jokes.
"Well way to jinx it." Eddie retorts unimpressed "You just haaaad to say that didn't you?"
"Oh come Eddie…" Jamie dismisses "…you don't really believe in that stuff."
"Not the point."
"Completely the point." Jamie counters.
"And if you did in fact just jinx it who's the one that has to put up with the consequences huh? That's right ME! Not you!"
"Eddie..." Jamie tries to reason.
"AH!" Eddie protests as she holds a finger up stopping him "Not another word out of you. You're in the dog house!"
But then Eddie sighs and gets a far off look in her eyes "I miss Jamko. We should check up on him."
"I'm sure he's fine..." Jamie reassures her "…that family that adopted him seemed really nice."
"Seemed or ARE?" Eddie presses.
Jamie looks at his wife "I feel like no matter what answer I give here it will be wrong."
Eddie frowns at her husband.
Jamie smiles hopefully at his wife.
Eddie shakes her head and starts a new topic of conversation "So now that I can smell without fear again I want to go all out for supper today. I want Chinese!"
"You haven't even attempted to eat breakfast yet and you're already deciding on supper." Jamie cautiously notes "Okay…"
"Do you doubt my declaration?" Eddie challenges.
"I doubt nothing." Jamie replies "But I think we've both come to realize that that one…" He states as he points at his wife's stomach "Make the ultimate decision not you and certainly not me."
A low growl of disapproval rumbles up and out of Eddie "Stop being right." She chides.
"Hey you knew my being right vs being wrong ratio when you married me. It's not going to change."
"You know what's really wrong here…" Eddie decides as she looks around the kitchen "How we set this kitchen up. It's got completely wrong Feng Shui."
"I'm sorry what?" Jamie questions.
"Feng Shui." Eddie repeats "You can't tell me you don't know what that means."
"Yes I know what it means."
"Then why did you say I'm sorry what?"
"Because there is nothing wrong with the way the kitchen is set up." Jamie states "It's worked for us for years."
"Are you saying I'm wrong?" Eddie challenges.
Jamie carefully eyes his wife trying to decide how to reply "Is this you doing the nesting thing?" He tries to clarify "Because the book said that isn't supposed to happen until later."
"It does?" Eddie questions.
Jamie nods.
"Oh. I guess I haven't reached that part yet."
"Yeah I read quite a bit the other night when you were napping on my lap." Jamie reveals.
"Ugh great so now you're ahead of me in the book."
Again Jamie eyes his wife "I didn't know it was a competition…" He slowly states.
"You always have to do things first don't you?"
Jamie scrunches his face up in confusion "What did I do first?"
"You became a cop first." Eddie lists "You became a Sergeant first."
"Eddie I'm older…" Jamie begins.
"Right…" Eddie exclaims in exasperation "You were born first!"
"No, I was born LAST." Jamie corrects "All my life I've been the last to do everything in my family. Last one to learn to drive. Last one to graduate high school. Last one to become a cop. Last one to get married, have a baby." He points out.
"I don't mean in your family!" Eddie counters in frustration "I mean between us!"
"Okay so then yes, I'm older and became a cop and a Sergeant first so?"
"So?" Eddie repeats in disbelief.
"Yes so!" Jamie now exclaims in exasperation himself "Eddie what's your point here?!"
"Jamie, I want us to do this together!" Eddie tosses back.
"WE ARE!" Jamie insists.
"No, you're reading ahead and…"
"IT'S A BOOK EDDIE!" Jamie interrupts "A BOOK!"
"IT'S NOT JUST A BOOK! It's you having the right answers as always while I struggle to keep up! I want to be your equal!"
"You ARE my equal, my partner in everything we do!" Jamie insists as his frustration level grows – didn't they already have this conversation in bed the night after the baby reveal? "Eddie where is all this coming from?" He presses "I mean I know your hormones are all out of whack but…"
"My hormones?" Eddie repeats in disbelief "MY HORMONES!" She cries before pushing past Jamie and running towards the bedrooms.
The next second Jamie hears the door slam shut.
Squeezing his eyes shut, Jamie hangs his head a moment then slowly walks to the bedroom. He tries to open the door but is surprise to find it locked "Eddie come on open the door." Jamie prompts.
Silence.
"Eddie?" He questions again.
Silence.
"Eddie come on!" He repeats as he jiggles the knob "Open the door!"
"GO AWAY!" Eddie's voice calls.
"Yeah that's not happening." Jamie rejects.
The next second Jamie hears movement coming towards the door. He hears the lock click open and suddenly the door swings open and Eddie thrusts his pillow at him before she slams the door shut in his face and relocks it.
Completely and totally stunned, Jamie stands there a moment looking at his pillow not sure what to do. In all the times he and Eddie had fought since they got married they NEVER slept apart – never. They might not have been talking to one another but they still slept in the same bed so now Jamie is in panic mode "Eddie please open the door." He pleads.
Silence.
"EDDIE!" He tries again.
Silence.
Feeling super frustrated, Jamie tosses out "Okay you know what? FINE!" before turning to head back into the living room. He walks up to the couch, forcefully hucks his pillow down onto it then sinks down to sit while running his hand over this face in frustration. This is insane. He thinks. They day hadn't even really started yet and already she is telling him he will be sleeping on the couch? He had half a mind to just go break the door down - he knows full well he could do it - and force Eddie to talk to him but he is also pretty sure that would only make things worse.
How did things even get to this point? He wonders. What did he do wrong?
Realizing he needs help figuring this out, Jamie makes a decision. He gets up from the couch, swipes his phone off the table, grabs his keys and jacket and heads out the door.
…..
"Hi." Jamie states as he walks into Erin's office to see her frantically looking between folders on her desk and he holds out a coffee to her. "You busy?"
Erin stills her movements and lifts her head to look at her younger brother in disbelief. She opens her mouth to say something but at seeing the look on her brother's face she changes her mind and instead starts to grow concerned "What's wrong?" she seriously inquires.
Jamie huffs out a breath of air and sinks down in defeat to sit in the chair in front of her desk. "Everything."
Erin's concern grows "What do you mean everything?"
"Apparently I can't do anything right. I'm trying to be supportive but clearly failing miserably. Pretty sure my wife hates me now."
"Oh." Erin cautiously states "What happened?"
"Eddie and I were talking, like we normally do." Jamie explains "We bicker. We joke. We challenge each other. She told me she didn't want me treating her any different just because she's pregnant and I don't. It's all good up until now but then today, I do that and suddenly I'm locked out of my own bedroom and sleeping on the couch tonight – its not even 10am Erin!"
"Ah!" Erin chuckles in understanding.
"I mean she just blew up at me out of nowhere…" Jamie continues on in confused wonder "I have no idea what I did wrong. I just… I mean I don't remember you or Linda getting so…"
"So what?" Erin warns…
"You know… like over emotional and completely unreasonable." Jamie states with a wave of his hand.
Erin heavily sighs and shakes her head in disappointment "And even after I complimented you on how great you were going, you had to go and screw up."
"What?"
"I thought maybe you'd be different from the rest of them but nope, clueless like all the other men out there."
Jamie looks up at his sister in surprise.
"First of all, yes, Linda and I did 'get' like that – just ask Jack or Danny and secondly, your wife is now carrying a little human being that has taken over complete control of her entire body. Nothing is about her anymore – NOTHING! It's all about the baby. YOUR baby."
"Well I know that…" Jamie begins.
"No, you clearly don't." Erin interrupts. "And sadly, you will never have any idea what it is really like for a woman."
"Look I want to help her, I just… at this point I really don't know how best to do that."
"You be there for her." Erin informs him. "If she says the sky is purple. You agree. If she tells you your wrong, you are. If she wants ice cream for breakfast, its normal and you go with it okay? I know it might not seem like it but its NOT personal. It's just hormones."
"See how come you can say that and I can't?"
Erin groans and momentarily hang her head before looking back up at her brother "Please tell me you did NOT say that too her."
"Well…"
"We're you not just listening to me!?" Erin chides.
"Ummm…"
"Oh Jamie." Erin sighs with a shake of her head.
"How am I supposed to not treat her any differently but yet treat her differently! It's a no win!"
"It's not about winning. It's about taking your cues from her."
"I thought I WAS doing that - hence me being here! So come on Erin…" Jamie pleads in absolute defeat "Help me!"
"Alright…" Erin sighs "Here's what you are going to do…"
…..
Eddie lays on her bed frustrated and mad. She was mad at Jamie. She was mad at herself. She was mad at her damn hormones because once again Jamie was right – she was being hormonal and she knew it.
And ugh! Now she was thirsty. That meant she had to go out there… out there and face Jamie…
She looks down at her stomach "You're doing this on purpose aren't you? Making me go out there and face your Father. The things I do for you…" She grumbles as she swings her legs off the bed and heads for the door. When she reaches it, she puts her hand on the knob, takes a deep breath, unlocks the door then swings it open and walks with purpose out into the main area of the apartment ready for what comes next.
…or so she thought…
Walking through the archway, Eddie slowly comes to a stop when she doesn't see Jamie – anywhere. She sees his phone is gone as well as his car keys and jacket and tears begin to well in her eyes. He had left and honestly, she couldn't blame him. She had completely flipped out on him for no good reason and then locked him out of their bedroom. In a slight panic now, Eddie looks around for a note from him – nothing.
She moves to pick up her phone off the table to see if he texted her with where he was going – nothing.
And why would he? She realizes. She literally told him to go away…
She goes to dial his number but her phone starts to ring instead and she sees Rosa's name.
Eddie closes her eyes a moment and tries to decide if she really wants to answer that or just let it go to voicemail. The next second as if on instinct though, her finger answers the call.
Eddie tries to muster up a normal calm voice "Hello?"
There is a moment of silence that hangs in the air…
"Eddie?" Rosa then questions in slight concern "Everything okay?"
Knowing she clearly failed at presenting an 'everything is fine' air around her, Eddie squeezes her eyes shut but it doesn't help as the waterworks start all over again "No. I messed up Rosa. I really messed up."
"What happened?" Rosa immediately presses in concern "What's wrong?"
"Jamie and I had a fight and it was over nothing really – it was just my damn hormones and then I locked him out of our bedroom and he left! I have no idea where he went or when he'll be back!"
"Have you tried calling him?" Rosa cautiously questions.
"No not yet. I was going to but then you called me."
"Oh. Well we can hang up and you call him okay?" Rosa suggests.
"Actually can I ask you a question first?" Eddie inquires.
"Sure…" Rosa agrees.
"How did you do it? How did you get through your pregnancy with Mia and not absolutely loose it?"
"I didn't." Rosa admits "I lost it a few times. I'm not going to lie to you Eddie, pregnancy is a joyous thing but its also frustrating. Your hormones are all over the place. Your feet and hands will swell. You'll want to pee ever 5 minutes, your back will hurt, you won't be able to get comfortable. You'll get itchy and hot and you will be irritable and if you're not, then you will be one of the rare few lucky ladies."
"Then why the hell do we do this to ourselves?"
"Because the second you hold your baby you realize it was all completely worth it."
"You promise?" Eddie whines.
Rosa laughs a little "I do and don't worry about Jamie. He'll be back. I've seen you two together. You couldn't beat him away from you with a stick."
Eddie sighs "Thank you."
"You're welcome and hey if you ever need to talk or vent or ask questions feel free to call. I owe you guys so much so anything I can do to chip away at that debt, just ask!"
"I hope you realize that means childcare once this baby is born and I go back to work."
"Oh I already have a baby Reagan reserved sign over a bassinet!"
"Really?" Eddie laughs.
"No, not yet but Mia did make me promise her that when it can time, she would be the one to make it using glue and sparkles."
"Purple sparkles." Eddie clarifies.
"Of course!" Rosa confirms.
"Thank you." Eddie sincerely states "But ah why were you calling?" she inquires.
"Oh Mia's birthday is coming up. We aren't going to be doing much just some cake, ice cream and of course presents but wanted to of course invite her favorite Aunt and Uncle to the festivities."
"We would be honored to attend so just let me know where and when and we'll be there."
"Great and Eddie?"
"Yes?"
"Don't be so hard on yourself. Your body is going through a lot of changes right now and I'm sure you're tired of hearing it – I know I was – but it's normal."
"Thank you." Eddie accepts.
"Sure, now go call Jamie okay?"
"Okay." Eddie accepts "Bye."
As Eddie hangs up the phone, she hears a key in the apartment door. She looks over to see Jamie walk in with a bouquet of lilies. He stops short in surprise at seeing his wife in front of him "Look Eddie I'm sorry…" he begins but before he can continue, Eddie hurries towards him and pulls him into an all encompassing hug.
Breathing out a sigh in relief, Jamie circles his arms around his wife "I'm sorry." He repeats in a whisper in her ear which just makes Eddie hold on to him tighter.
"No I'm sorry." Eddie apologizes as she pulls back a moment later to look at her husband "You were only doing what I asked you to do and then I flipped out at you for no reason."
"No you have a reason." Jamie corrects as he points at her stomach "I should have been more understanding. I hope smells aren't still bothering you anymore…" He adds as he offers his wife the flowers with a lopsided smile "I took a chance…"
Eddie smiles as she takes the flowers "So far so good." She replies "But you really didn't need to buy me flowers. Seriously. It was my fault." She insists as she heads to the kitchen.
"How about it was no ones fault then?" Jamie counters as he watches his wife grab a vase and fill in with water "It's over let's move on."
"No. I don't want to move on I want to talk about this." Eddie insists as she places the flowers in the vase.
"Alright." Jamie accepts taking his cues from his wife "Let's talk."
"Jamie it's become clear to me that I'm going to say and do things I don't mean. So I can say one big blanket apology now and just know that I love you and locking you out of our bedroom will not happen again."
"Okay." Jamie accepts.
Eddie eyes her husband "That's it? Just ok?"
"Yup."
"Why are you agreeing with me?"
"Isn't that what you want?" Jamie questions.
"Don't placate me." Eddie warns.
"Okay." Jamie accepts.
"You're doing it again." Eddie points out.
"What?" Jamie questions.
"Agreeing with me!" Eddie answers.
"And?" Jamie prompts.
"Stop it!" Eddie demands.
"Okay." Jamie agrees.
"JAMIE!" Eddie states frustrated.
"Yes?" Jamie replies.
"STOP DOING THAT!"
Jamie stands there but doesn't say a word.
"Well don't just stand there say something!" Eddie insists.
"You still want Chinese tonight?" Jamie queries.
"I don't know." Eddie replies.
"Okay." Jamie accepts.
"Stop saying okay!" Eddie demands.
"Fine." Jamie states instead.
"Now you're pissing me off." Eddie warns.
"Not my intention." Jamie promises.
"What is your intention?" Eddie demands.
"To love and support you in any way I can." Jamie honestly answers.
Eddie momentarily shuts her eyes and scratches her head "Okay I think we're going to have to set up some ground rules here because if we try to keep this up I think we're going to end up killing each other. This isn't us Jamie and you know it.
"I'm open to whatever suggestions you might have." Jamie immediately agrees.
Eddie tilts her head to the side and studies her husband realizing she might have to do something drastic to knock him out of this constant and annoying I agree with whatever you say mode he appears to be stuck in…
"The Jets suck." She suddenly states.
Eddie watches as Jamie's face tries not to twist and contort into a look of displeasure at her statement.
"They… they haven't been playing their best this year no." Jamie slowly agrees.
Okay that didn't work… Eddie thinks but she was not to be deterred….
"And I've been thinking…" Eddie continues "When this baby is born maybe my Mom can stay with us a bit – maybe the first month or two you know just to help out. What do you say to that?"
Jamie purses his lips together in discomfort "If…if that's what you really want…"
Wow. Eddie notes to herself impressed. She thought for sure that one would have snapped him to his senses but she tries again… "And I don't think I want to attend Sunday Dinners anymore. It's too tiring. Your family will understand if we don't attend for the next oh year or so, maybe two…I mean it will be hard with a newborn but then I'm sure the toddler years won't be much better so maybe we should just stop going all together and…"
"ALRIGHT FINE!" Jamie finally relents in frustration as he realizes what his wife is doing "YOU WIN! The Jets do NOT suck. No you're Mom can NOT live with us when this baby is born! And we are NOT going to stop attending Sunday Dinner! There happy?!"
"Yes." Eddie simply accepts "Now do you feel better?" She inquires.
"No I don't feel better!" Jamie tosses back "You talked about you trying to keep with me early well I feel like I can't keep up with you! The absolute last thing I want to do is upset you but it seems no matter what I do its wrong. I disagree – its wrong. I agree – its wrong. Tell me what you want me to do here Eddie please because for the first time in my life I am at a complete and total loss!"
Eddie silently walks up to her husband and hugs him.
Surprised by the move at first, it takes Jamie a second to respond but then he circles his arms around his wife returning her hug.
"Now I know for sure we are doing this together because that's exactly how I feel." Eddie whispers.
Jamie can't help but huff out a little laugh at that "So now what do we do?"
"Oh I have no idea." Eddie retorts as she pulls back from the hug "I'm the hormonal one. You're usually the one with the answers."
"Well I got nothing." Jamie admits.
"Then this kid is screwed." Eddie admits.
"Okay let's not go that far." Jamie rejects "Your going to make a great Mom."
"Well you'll be an even better Dad."
"Great now that that's settled, we still have to get through the part BEFORE the baby is born."
"Maybe we need like a code word we can use with one another when either of us feels things are getting out of hand." Eddie suggests.
Jamie ponders his wife words "Something that tells us we need to take a step back and take a breath." He reasons "Hmmm. I couldn't be that easy, could it?" he hesitantly wonders.
"Oh I doubt it." Eddie admits with a slight laugh "But I'm willing to try anything at this point."
"Okay." Jamie relents "What's the word?"
"Well…" Eddie thinks "It's got to be something that we would immediately tune into."
"But something that we don't necessarily use on a regular basis." Jamie tacks on.
Eddie looks at Jamie with an idea at the same time Jamie looks at Eddie "12 David." they both say in unison before laughing a bit and smiling at one another.
"If it's a boy we should seriously consider David." Eddie chuckles "Although I assume you'll also want Joe or Joseph to be in there too right? I know how much your brother meant to you so..."
"Thank you." Jamie accepts "But now that we know Joe has a son and he's named after him I don't think I want to do that."
"Really?" Eddie states in surprise.
Jamie nods.
"Okay." Eddie accepts "Oh Rosa called while you were out – she invited us to Mia's birthday party. I told her to just let us know when and where and we'd be there."
"Absolutely." Jamie agrees.
"What do we get her as a gift?" Eddie wonders.
"Something purple." Jamie replies.
"Oh we could get her a purple t-shirt that says 'Big Sister Mia' on it." Eddie suggests "She'd get a kick out of that."
"Sure. She would." Jamie laughs "But I'm not sure Rosa would appreciate it." he adds "Because she'll be the one having to repeatedly explain that no, she is not pregnant and how Mia sees herself as her technically unrelated but adopted Aunt and Uncle / godparent's child's sister."
Eddie scrunches her nose up "You know I'm the one living the story but even I'm confused by what you just said."
"Exactly." Jamie points out.
"Okay no t-shirt saying big sister." Eddie rejects "Hmmmm guess we'll have to noodle on that then."
…
A/N: FYI I wrote the Jamie/Erin scene in this chapter as kind of a sequel to their iconic scene in Season 5 Episode 1 in Erin's office – hopefully it came across that way…