Chapter 41: Drunk Ass
It's near the end of the work day when Jamie walks out of his office up to Danny's desk pulling his jacket on "We're up, let's go."
Both seated at their desks, Danny and Maria lift their heads to look up. Danny glances at Maria in slight confusion then looks at his brother "What do you mean we?"
"You and me." Jamie states.
Danny gives his brother a weird look "Really?" he challenges as he again glances at Maria to see her shrug in indifference.
"Consider it 'ride with your boss' day." Jamie flatly offers.
"At 5pm?" Danny challenges as he gets up.
Jamie shrugs then turns to walk away "I'm driving."
Danny's eyes crinkle in even more confusion as he looks at Maria again.
"Just play nice." Maria offers as Eddie walks into the bullpen.
Danny rolls his eyes and moves to follow his brother as Eddie walks over to Maria.
"Hey that's my line." Eddie chides.
Maria again shrugs "You weren't here and it needed to be said. What's up with Jamie wanting to ride with Danny anyway?"
Eddie sighs "If I had to guess – I'd say its time for some brotherly bonding considering the events of yesterday."
"Yesterday?" Maria questions. "What happened yesterday?"
"The thing with Sean." Eddie replies.
Maria looks at Eddie confused "What thing with Sean?"
Eddie's mouth falls slightly open "You mean Danny didn't tell you?"
"Tell me what?"
Eddie pulls out her chair and sits down "Man do I have a story for you!"
…..
Danny sits in the passenger's seat of his squad car fidgeting.
From the driver's seat Jamie glances over "What's wrong?"
"What's wrong…" Danny unhappily replies "… is I'm not used to not driving my own car."
"This is not your car…" Jamie points out "It's the unit's car."
"Look are you going to tell me where we are going?" Danny presses "What's the case?"
"You'll know when we get there." Jamie replies.
Danny's face scrunches up in displeasure "Alright what?" He prompts not buying any of it "What's really going on? There is no case is there because if there was, we both know you would not be this blaise and unforthcoming with information."
"Fine." Jamie relents "There is no case." He admits.
Silence.
"So?" Danny finally prompts as he looks expectantly at his brother "What is this then?"
Jamie's face starts to twist and contort a little bit as he tries to find the right words.
Suddenly Danny gets it "Oh." He breathes out in realization.
"Yeah." Jamie sighs as he pulls into the parking lot of McGuinty's bar.
"Okay." Danny agrees as Jamie parks "First round is on me."
"No pretty sure I should be buying the first round." Jamie rejects as the brothers climb out "I put your son in handcuffs…"
"Like he didn't deserve it?" Danny tosses back as they walk towards the bar.
"But did he?" Jamie questions "Did he really?"
"Okay now you've lost me." Danny admits as he opens the door and they walk inside.
"I assume you haven't met Beth yet?" Jamie questions as they walk to the bar.
"No, not yet." Danny replies as they sit down on two stools.
"The second I saw her she reminded me of Mia…" Jamie begins "…and suddenly Sean being my nephew didn't matter so much." Jamie reveals as he motions to the bartender "Hi 2 whiskey's straight up please." He orders before turning his attention back to his brother "I'm freaking out Danny. I'm freaking out about a girl 8 years Mia's senior that has absolutely no connection to her other then having a similar hair color and style because in that moment I wanted to protect her more then I wanted to protect Sean – my own nephew. How did this happen? Mia isn't my daughter! What is wrong with me?"
Danny sighs "You already know the answer. Your wife is pregnant and Mia IS your goddaughter so you're projecting." He explains before shrugging "Maybe you'll get lucky like I did though and have a boy."
Jamie shakes his head as the bartender places two glasses down in front of them "I don't think so Danny." Jamie rejects as he picks up his glass "It's a girl. I can feel it." He states before taking a big swig.
"Oh you can feel it." Danny repeats in slight amusement as he picks up his glass while watching his agitated brother "Okay. Well have you told Eddie this?"
Again, Jamie shakes his head no "And don't ask me why not." he then tosses out in annoyance "I just haven't."
"Okay not going to press the issue." Danny decides "So how can I help?"
"I don't know…" Jamie states in exasperation "Just… just tell me I'm over reacting. Tell me I'm being stupid. Tell me it will all be fine. Just tell me something that stops me from freaking out!"
"I wish I could." Danny replies in sympathy "But I can't."
Jamie groans in defeat.
"There is no magical solution here." Danny explains "All you can do is take it one day at a time. One step at the time."
"But that's not me!" Jamie counters "I like to plan in advance!"
"Then I'm sorry but you are in for one rude awakening Kid." Danny states "You can plan all you want but then life will zig when you planned it to zag."
"Zig and Zag? Really?" Jamie presses before taking another drink "That's the best you got?"
"Look…" Danny begins
"Because I'll tell you what I do know." Jamie suddenly announces cutting his brother off "I know that if I do have a daughter and one day find her like I did yesterday with Beth and Sean, I'm not leaving the safety on."
Danny stares at his brother a moment in silence before raising his hand to get the bartender's attention "Hi." He greets when the guy walks over "Can you just bring us the bottle please?" he prompts before looking over at his brother in concern to see him empty his glass down his throat.
….
Almost an entire bottle later, Danny sits in the driver's seat of the squad car glancing every few seconds over to his drunk brother in the passenger's seat. He sighs as he turns the car around a corner "Maybe I shouldn't have ordered up the entire bottle." He admits with a frown "Really hope Eddie doesn't kill either of us."
"Eddie." Jamie mumbles.
"Yup, Eddie." Danny repeats as he pulls the car up to Jamie's apartment building "And speaking of…" he adds as he looks out the window and cringes slightly at the sight of his sister in law standing on the sidewalk waiting for them "There is your lovely wife now."
Jamie's face perks up "Eddie!"
Eddie watches as Danny gets out of the car and walks over to her "Hey…" he cautiously greets.
Eddie sighs "How bad?"
"Oh pretty bad." Danny admits.
Eddie shakes her head and moves towards the car when she sees Jamie trying to open the door and get out himself.
Turning to look, Danny quickly moves to help "Yeah I think I better be the one to get him upstairs."
"I'm pretty sure I can handle it." Eddie reassures him.
"Yeah no offense here but drunk unpredictable guy…" He states as he points at his brother "…and pregnant lady." He adds as he points at Eddie "I'm not taking any chances because he would never forgive himself and neither would I so just let me get him into the apartment and then he's all yours."
"Alright." Eddie relents – in truth she wasn't really looking forward to dragging her drunk husband's ass into the building and up to the apartment herself anyway.
So Danny helps his brother out of the car, then swings one of Jamie's arms around his shoulder while looping his own arm around his waist to help hold him up. "Let's go." Danny instructs his brother as he starts to walk them towards the building leaving Eddie to shut the car door and follow behind but now with Danny helping him move forward, Jamie loses sight of his wife behind him "Eddie?" he slurs out "Eddie where'd you go?"
"I'm here." Eddie answers from behind them as they all walk up the path.
Jamie turns his head backwards and grins "There you are!" He sings "Hey Baby!"
"Hi." Eddie returns with a smirk while Danny just groans.
"Oh please cut that out until I get you inside and away from me." Danny pleads.
"Baby." Jamie repeats "Having a baby. Baby having a baby." He rambles.
"That!" Danny reveals as he awkwardly tries to glance backwards to his sister in law "That's what got us here to this point."
"Having a little freak out was he?" Eddie notes.
"Don't think it's over yet." Danny warns her as they reach the building.
Eddie sighs as she hurries past them to open the door "Well I guess he was about due."
"So you aren't mad?" Danny hopefully questions as Eddie holds it open so he and Jamie can move inside.
"No." Eddie replies before chuckling "He is a bit of a fun drunk."
"Well I've never seen him this sloshed." Danny admits as they start up the stairs.
"It is rare." Eddie admits "He can usually hold his liquor pretty good."
"He is a Reagan." Danny proudly boasts.
"Yeah, yeah." Eddie laughs.
"Reagan." Jamie repeats "Little girl Reagan."
Danny again glances backwards to Eddie "He's freaking out because he thinks you're having a girl."
Eddie cringes slightly and sighs as they get to a landing between flights "So do I."
Danny slows his pace and slowly turns himself and Jamie to face his sister in law "Really?"
Eddie nods as she watches Jamie grin widely at her "We're having a girl!" he quips.
"But you don't have official confirmation yet right?" Danny prompts.
Eddie sighs and shakes her head "No, just a feeling."
Jamie frowns at seeing his wife's look so he pushes himself off his brother "Baby what's wrong? Come here." He prompts as he moves to hug her.
"Yeah okay." Eddie laughs as her husband envelopes her into his arms and then slumps himself down onto her "Okay Danny a little help here?" She prompts as she tries to support Jamie's body weight.
Danny rolls his eyes as he reaches forward to pull his brother back "Alright Kid quit crushing your wife."
"My wife." Jamie happily repeats.
"It's like we're kids again and he just keeps playing the repeat game." Danny tosses out as he again slings his brother's arm around his shoulder and loops his arm round his waist before starting up the next flight.
"The power of suggestion!" Eddie laughs as she follows.
"She married me." Jamie rambles to himself "Married with children…"
"Okay well if that's the case let's try this then..." Danny decides as they reach the next landing "Kid… hey Kid…" He prompts as he turns to face his brother trying to get his attention.
Jamie turns his head to his brother "DANNY!" He greets like he is just seeing him for the first time.
"Yup, its me Kid." Danny replies "Hey look if you and Eddie have a girl, it will be absolutely fine okay?" He reassuringly promises his brother.
"Okay!" Jamie easily accepts with a smile.
"Perfect." Danny counters as he starts moving again with Jamie "Problem solved."
Eddie rolls her eyes "If only."
Catching her look, Danny warns "Hey don't look all pouty back there or he's going to go all husbandy again as I try to haul him up the stairs."
"Husbandy?" Eddie laughs but when Jamie indeed tries to break free from his brother and move back towards Eddie Danny has to do some fancy manuvering to get his brother back under control and keep everyone from tumbling down the staircase.
"See!" Danny tells his sister in law before looking at his brother "You can go all lovey dovey protective of her later when you can actually stand on your own two feet on a flat solid floor alright." Danny chides his brother "Until then, I need to protect her from you!"
"Okay that's being more then a little over dramatic." Eddie states "Even drunk I know he'd never hurt me."
"Again, pregnant other there." Danny reminds her "And we are on stairs - not taking any chances in fact on the next landing YOU go first."
Eddie shakes her head "You Reagans and your overprotectiveness but fine, I do see your point."
"Thank you." Danny accepts before huffing a little in excursion "And next time you want to have a little heart to heart Kid I think we are just going to drink at home." Danny decides as they reach the next landing between floors "That way I don't have to get a work out dragging your ass up the stairs."
"Good plan." Eddie agrees as she moves to pass them "Although we could have just used the elevator."
Danny lifts his head to look at his sister in law in remembrance "Why the hell didn't we do that?" he asks unimpressed.
Eddie glances backwards and shrugs "You started up the stairs."
"You could have reminded me!" Danny throws back.
"Consider it payback for getting him drunk, now come on, almost there, just one more flight. You can do it!" she then sweetly but mockingly encourages.
"Are we there yet?" Jamie whines.
"Almost Babe." Eddie calls back.
"I wanna sit down." Jamie decides as he begins to sink his body down to the stairs.
"Oh no you don't." Danny rejects as works to hold his brother up "Ugh." He grunts out at the exersion needed for the task "You can sit down once we get you in your apartment."
"You're no fun." Jamie tosses out with a pout as they keep moving.
"Quit whining you drunk sack of potatoes." Danny chides as they reach their desired floor and walk through the door Eddie is holding open for them "Or next time you can call Erin."
"She'd at least have remembered the elevator." Eddie laughs.
"Did you want me to drop him right here?" Danny warns.
"Not before I get this." Eddie states as she reaches into her pocket and pulls out her phone. She holds it up and snaps a picture of Danny awkwardly holding Jamie up.
"And what was that for?" Danny prompts.
Eddie pockets her phone, shrugs and turns to move down the hall to their apartment "The baby album." She explains.
"Seriously?" Danny laughs.
"If he can document me on the bathroom floor after throwing up I am sure as hell documenting his drunk ass freak out over possibly having a girl. And if we truly do have a girl, I will make this photo the crowning centerpiece of the entire album that our daughter can hold over his head for years!"
"Damn! You don't mess around!" Danny again laughs impressed as he moves them to follow Eddie "okay well wait wait." He prompts as he gets an idea "If you are going to do that..." He insists as Eddie puts her key in the apartment door lock "We have to do it right!"
Eddie slowly turns her head to look at her brother in law and stills her movements "What do you mean?"
Danny smiles "I mean he said I was no fun, so let's have some fun!"
Jamie's eyes light up "Fun!"
"See!" Danny giddily quips.
Eddie rolls her eyes and opens the door "No." She flatly rejects.
"Oh come on!" Danny pleads as he walks Jamie and himself inside "Who knows when or if I'll ever get an opportunity like this again!"
"Exactly." Eddie states as she takes one step inside and holds the door open "You just said you, not us. You are not taking advantage of my husband in his vulnerable state for your own entertainment."
"Now who's no fun." Danny grumbles as he plops his brother down onto the couch.
"Ahhhh." Jamie mumbles as he settles in "Cushy soft."
"Thank you for your help…" Eddie states as she looks at her brother in law and knocks her head out into the hall "…but I got it from here. You can go now."
"Fine." Danny flatly states before heading back to the door. He stands in front of Eddie and opens his mouth to speak but Eddie cuts him off
"Thank you." She repeats "But still no."
"I make no promises I won't make his tomorrow miserable." Danny warns her.
"Tomorrow he can fight his own battles." Eddie simply states "But tonight it's my decision and I'm telling you no."
Danny gives his sister in law one more look of displeasure before walking out.
Eddie watches him leave then shuts the door and shifts her eyes to her husband on the couch. She walks over to see him now laying with his eyes closed flat on his stomach on the couch, his head turned to the side and as she watches him slowly a mischievous little smile begins to form on Eddie's face "Only I get to have fun with your drunk ass." She decides as she pulls out her phone and opens the camera app. She taps video and presses start "Jamie?" she then sweetly inquires "Hey are you still awake?"
"Jamie." He repeats with one cheek smushed into the cushion. "Hey that's me. Jamie." He remembers "Jameson. Like the whiskey… whiskey." He mumbles "I'll have some whiskey…"
"No, you've had enough." Eddie rejects.
"But I'm Jammmmm…eeee…ssssoooon…" he drawls out "…like the whiskey."
"Yes you are." Eddie agrees "And you already smell like a bottle - which is no fair because I can't have any. Do you still want to have some fun though?" She hopefully inquires.
"Fun." Jamie absently mutters "Let's have some fun…"
"Great!" Eddie accepts as her smile grows "Now let me go get my hat and shirt…"
"Okay." Jamie mumbles almost asleep…
...