A/N: this chapter contains sexy times. It also contains slightly graphic descriptions of past sexual abuse. Its my first time ever writing such things. Im sorry if its not good. But im trying to increase my writing skills.

Emma pov

When we get home from dinner i go to the bathroom to clean up before bed. While im in the shower i keep running over the scene of my love saying yes to marrying me. Im beyond happy. It feels like im floating. I just finish washing my hair when a soft but familiar knock is at the door. I know its Regina. "Come in babe. Im just in the shower." I hear the door click open and shut again a few seconds later. We took the locks off the bathrooms when Regina had her slip and nearly killed herself. That was a very scary time for us. Im so glad shes doing better now. I know that it doesnt mean she wont ever hurt herself again. But hopefully it will not be nearly as bad as it was if she does. I hear the water in the sink turn on and know she's brushing her teeth. "Regina, you doing ok? You seem quiet." I say as i go to shut off the water since im done showering. Once the water is off she responds. "Im ok Emma. I promise. I just am thinking about the wedding. Ive never gotten to plan one before."

She faces me as i step out of the shower and reach for my towel. She stops me before i grab it. "You look so lovely when you are all wet dear. Its enticing and extremely sexy." She trails her fingers along my sternum and down my ribs to my abs. I dont contain the soft moan that comes from her touch. Thats all it takes before her hands are on my hips and her minty fresh mouth is on my own. We separate for air after a moment and she descends to my neck with those devilish lips. "God, Regina that feels so good." I say as i slide my own hands up her thigh length nightgown. I settle my left hand on her generous ass while my right drifts further up her nightgown to grip her hip. Her body is always so smooth and soft. "You are so beautiful Regina." I say as i lean to capture her lips in another searing kiss. All teeth and tongue battling for dominance.

I let her win and she trails her hand down to my still naked inner thigh. She nudges my leg so i spread them apart a little. As i do, she slides one finger across my slick folds. I bite down on her lip lightly as she does and she grins into the kiss. We havent gotten to the place where we enter inside each other yet. And thats ok. Because we still make sure the other gets taken care of. Im hoping that we can try it on our wedding night. But sex with her is still the most satisfying thing ive ever experienced. Barely any touches from her and my legs are already having a hard time keeping me standing. It feels so good. She brushes a fingertip over my clit and my hips jerk in reaction and a long moan comes from my lips as my hands snap to her sides for balance. "Steady baby. I got you. Just feel it." She says with that lust husky voice of hers. She speeds up her finger and adds a second to the mix which adds more pressure to my sensitive nerves. She rubs in tight circles until i fall apart in her arms. My body tensing and shaking as i cum. I drop my head to her shoulder and quiver as she moves her hand off of my center. I nearly cum again when she sticks both fingers in her mouth to clean them off from my juices. Her plump red lips sealing over them. "You are absolutely delicious dear. Come. You need to rest. And we have both had a long day." She kisses me softly and i whimper a little as i taste myself on her lips.

"What about you baby? I can make you feel good too." She smiles at me with soft bedroom eyes. "Im ok for tonight. I wanted to make you feel good after everything you've prepared for today. This is a focus on you night. I love you so much Emma. And i love making you shake in my arms." We join hands as we walk to our bedroom and climb in between the sheets. This woman is intoxicatingly sexy and sweet and just… her. Shes everything. "I love it too. But enjoy watching you come undone just as much maybe even more than getting my own pleasure. I love you so much." I say as i slide under the cover and brush her hip asking for permission. I feel her lift off the bed in answer so i slide her thong down her long tan legs. "So fucking sexy. You have no idea what you do to me." I position myself between her thighs as my tongue takes a long lick of her center. I hum at the taste and the feeling of my hum earns me a soft moan from my lover. "Please Emma." She gasps out in a whisper. I use my fingers to open her up a little more as my tongue explores her folds. My tongue gets close to her opening and she freezes. "Im sorry baby. I wont go inside I promise. Are you ok to continue?" I ask with genuine concern.

A deep breathe and she responds. "Yea. Keep going. I trust you." I take her at her word as i stiffen my tongue and place it directly on her clit. Her hips raise to meet my mouth as she grinds on my face. I place a hand on her hip to remind her to keep still as i wrap my lips around her clit and suck firmly. Her thighs start to shake as i feel her stomach tense. A high pitched cry comes from her mouth and she cums all over my face. I dont stop because i know she can do more so i double my efforts and flick her nub with the tip of my tongue as i suck and add a tiny nip to her clit. She comes undone again, back arching away from the bed and slumping down when shes done. I crawl up the bed beside her as i wrap her in my arms.

"Thank you for letting me do that Regina. You are like some kind of mythical creature when you cum. Its like you glow as you do and your face and body is absolutely gorgeous in ecstasy." I look over and shes crying into her hands. I become very concerned and rub her arm. "Baby, are you ok? Did i hurt you? Whats wrong?" Regina just continues crying until her breathing slows a little. "I… i just want you to fuck me so badly Emma. I want to feel you inside me but even when your tongue got close I panicked. I want to touch you in that way too. I want to feel you as you cum with my fingers inside you. I want the same for me. Its just not fair Emma. I hate him. I fucking hate him. He ruined me."

I get even closer to her and hold her tighter to me. I kiss her forehead in reassurance. "He did not ruin you. You are perfect Regina. Nothing he did ruined you. He hurt you. But you can overcome what he did. You have already made so much progress. What we just did proves that. You know you can tell me anything. You dont have to answer but i have to ask. "What did he do to make you so afraid of things inside you?" She stiffens and sniffs. "He um… he used other items besides his penis. And that was bad enough. But he would use things that were rough and obviously i wasnt ready to be entered as i had no lubricant because i didnt want it. So hed shove them in with no warning and hed keep at it until i was so ripped inside that blood would pour out. Then he would follow with himself and he wouldnt stop until he finished. It felt like i was going to die. Those were the nights I decided to kill him. I just had to survive the ordeal first. It took months to heal because he kept using me so rough and cruel. He got pleasure from my pained screams. The things he did Emma. Only true evil could think of them."

Tears started falling from my eyes midway through her story. My poor Regina. "Im so so sorry for what he did Regina. I hate him for what he did to you. I hope he is suffering for eternity in hell right now. I hate that you have to live with those memories all the time. If i could make them go away forever, i would. But for now ill do what i can and we can work towards you being able to do whatever you want to with your own body."

Regina pov

I sigh as i scrunch down into the covers a bit more. I tangle myself fully with Emma and lay my head on her chest. "Please just hold me tonight. I dont want to have nightmares. I dont think i can handle that right now. I love you Emma. And i cant wait to marry you. Lets start planning tomorrow." I say as i feel her kiss the top of my head. "I love you baby. Get some rest. I got you. I cant wait either. To be tied to you for the rest of our lives is going to be the best decision ill ever make." I lay a soft kiss over her heart and try to think of all the things our future could hold while i drift into sleep.

When i wake its in a panic. I sit up straight in bed, my body shaking in fear. I try to focus on my breathing but its not working. I touch Emmas shoulder to wake her. "Hey, whats wrong baby? Did you have a bad dream?" I just look at her for a second and shes got me wrapped in her arms in a blink. "Shhhhh baby. Its ok. Ive got you. Nothing is going to hurt you." She rocks me back and forth, her hands over mine like we talked about in therapy. Shes trying to keep me from hurting myself. This is the first major panic attack in a month. I hold tight to her hands because i dont feel safe with myself right now. I hate feeling like this. I lean back into her and try to match her breathing that she has slowed into deep calm breaths. Its always worse when i can still feel the pain after a dream like that. "Emma, i cant do this anymore. I cant keep feeling this. Every time i think things are going great something happens to let me know ill never be ok. Its not fair." I feel her hot breathe on the back of my shoulder. Im not even crying im so numb right now.

"I promise you things will get better. They already have a little bit. We still have work to do to get you there but im up for it if you are. Is there anything i can do right now, in this moment, to help you?" I turn in her arms to look at her in the eyes. She does a sharp inhale. "Regina, im so sorry baby." I just shake my head. "There's something you can do, but you wont. I know you wont." She pulls me tighter in her arms for a moment. "If its what i think it is… i may have a solution." I look down at our hands ashamed. "I need to cut, Emma. I dont know if i can make it through tonight without it. I dont think i have it in me anymore." Emma sighs. "You can do a couple small cuts. But you have to let me watch. I want to be sure you are safe. But we cant make it a regular thing. Its just this once, because ive never seen your eyes look so empty and its scaring me. I cant lose you. I dont want you to cut, but i can deal with that over the alternative."