Chapter 5

Dinner/Breakfast finishes without any more hiccups, much to my relief. Theodore stays glued to my side as Nori fills me in on the happenings of the company since I was last here in merry ye old middle earth. I commend the dwarf on his ability to ignore the death glares from my son; he gets them from his father. He seems off put by Thoria as well; his eyes darting between the two. Though, he never so much as glances at Kiliel. How could people with such a need for children, scorn one so harshly? The boy eats quickly, not making a fuss. I try to pay attention to the information, even as my heart goes out to him... Balin and Dwalin are around the premises somewhere; Nori does his best to avoid them as Dwalin is captain of the guard and Balin has the king's ear as head advisor. Though originally from Ered Luin Oin and Gloin, I assume Gimli though he isn't mentioned, moved to Erebor after it was reclaimed.

"They currently heal as many soldiers as they beat half to death in the name of 'training' as they call it." I chuckle as the thief rolls his eyes "I just call it abuse."

"How nice for them." I counter sweetly before waving my hand in the air "And what about your brothers?"

"They live 'ere too, up in the merchant's halls. Though only one is currently 'ere. Dori is off on a business trip with Gloin and his lad, Gimli."

"To Rivendell?"

"How did you…" he shakes his head with a sigh "I'd forgotten about your sight."

"Meh, more of an intuition." I play it off and shove a bite of pancake into my mouth

"Speakin' of sight, what happened to your spectacles?"

"I don't need them anymore. I don't know why, chalk it up to just weird, but I can see just fine without them now." Chewing slowly, I nod to myself. Laser eye surgery. I'm not sure the dwarves would get it. He just nods along in acceptance so I guess that works. I continue the conversation "Bif, Bof, Bom?"

"... Bifur took your departure hard and they could not stay in the mountain without it agitatin' him... severely."

"Oh..." I'm saddened that my friend was distressed over my disappearance "Are they alright now that they've left?"

"I honestly have not heard much of them since they returned to the Blue Mountains about… 40 years ago?" he shrugs his shoulders and I feel mine sag a little more at the meager amount of information "They still receive their monthly payments from their share. Yours, the portion that wasn't the Arkenstone, has been left untouched."

"Not like I could really use it back home." I smile as I imagine walking into McDonald's with a bag of gold, demanding all their McNuggets "They left their share here?"

"T'was too much to carry!" his voice causes some of the dwarves nearest us to look up. A quick glare from the thief has them scoffing and returning to their meals, however, as Nori mumbles "Bloody cowards."

"Yeah, I guess you're right. About the money." A bobbing at my side lets me know that my son is about to fall asleep despite his refusal to blink his eyes. He isn't heavy but I doubt I could carry him today. Collecting the plates, I urge my little rag-tag group to start making our way back to the rooms "What about the royals?"

"Thorin is still king and Fili is still crown prince."

"And Kili?" I'd been waiting for the subject to come up but it seems like everyone is hell-bent on ignoring it "What's he doing nowadays?"

"Kili… Kili…" The dwarf throws an uncomfortable look at Kiliel before simply dismissing the subject "I'm sure he's fine. Go back to your rooms and don't start any trouble."

That conversation was two days ago and I have yet to see the hide or hair of Nori since, though I always 'feel' that he's nearby. That unfortunately goes for the strange dwarf I met as well. Neither get close enough for me to see them but… I know they are there. I also know that Kili isn't dead. He's far, farther than I would ever guess Thorin would let him go, but he's not dead and that's a relief. I want to ask someone about the bow-wielding dwarrow but I haven't the time to chase them down between the children and preparing for some big meeting Thorin is planning that he wants me to attend. I love my children but sometimes I'm reminded that 3 is a tough age for us all. My patience is wearing thin with everyone, my husband included but I'm trying to be as patient and understanding as possible. He says that if he presents me to the council, it may clear everything up and he can finally get rid of his suitors. Something in my spidey senses tells me that it's not going to work and that I'm going to end up trashing the place. Still, I give him the benefit of the doubt and attend each fitting to prepare.

"When in crazy land, follow the crazy people." shrugging my shoulders into my sleeves, I sigh lazily "And when in Middle Earth... still follow the crazy people."

I stand in the center of the royal tailor's fitting room and twirl in the provided mirror. The children have long since finished having their measurements taken and have cruelly abandoned me to suffer my fate alone. It took forever for the tailor to stop gushing over my tattoo and even longer for her to stop trying to touch it. She keeps running from the room and I just know she's blabbing all my secrets to her bosom buddies. The door clicks open and I let out a sigh.

"A lady is prettiest when she smiles."

"I don't feel much like a lady or smiling." I am being forced to wear dwarven-styled clothes, which isn't so bad. The designs and patterns are unique and handcrafted; each one is original in its design. What is bad is the differences in our body structure. The dresses that fit my height are all too wide. The smaller sizes show my calves and are therefore 'unbecoming' not to mention they constrict too tightly around my torso. My measurements were taken so I will have a wardrobe but it'll take time. We haven't the time to create a whole dress for this specific event so it's 'best fit' and then take in what needs taking in... and a lot needs to be taken in. If one part fits, another doesn't. I currently seem to be wearing clothes meant for Smaug if he were 4 foot nothing and would wear a frilly dress "I look like a mushed cake topping."

"My dear, you are a sight."

"You mean a fright…" I all but pout before finally recognizing the voice and turning around with the quickness. I do my best running leap without toppling the elder dwarf "BALIN!"

"Ha ha, hello to you as well, my dear." He pats my back and I squeeze him like he's a squeaky rubber chicken, uncaring that he just snuck into a female dressing room "It has been too long."

"You bet it has." I agree as he holds my shoulders at arm's length to get a good look at me "So long that people apparently think I'm dead. A maid nearly cursed me out because I said my name was 'Thia' but uh… don't tell Thorin that. He'll probably flip a table or something, even though it's his fault in the first place."

"... What was her name?" he asks, offended for me

"… Dulola. But don't be too harsh on her. Be harsh, but not TOO harsh." Lady called me a whore but... "She's also old."

"That is no reason for disrespect." He nods to himself, and I feel a slight bit of annoyance that I had to go through the ordeal at all. If Thorin had introduced me properly, this wouldn't have happened... "Are the other maids causing you any trouble?"

"No, no. They are dolls."

"... That could be a problem."

"Oh! Not literally. They are great. Very attentive."

"Hm… I will see to it that Dulola is spoken to, however," he peers around me curiously "I hear you brought along a few surprises?"

"Weeeeeeeeell, yeah. An odd here and an end there. You know, little souvenirs for you guys."

"Lassie…" he gives me the 'look' which I ignore "You know what I mean."

"Sure do!" I pipe up, smiling brilliantly "Presents! I got you this…"

I know he was talking about the children but I've been carrying around these things for years and I'm ready to give them to their rightful people. Plus, the kids aren't here and collecting them would be more work than collecting presents. I use my gift to pop into my rooms and snatch up my bag of gifts before quickly returning and handing the present to the dwarf.

"What is…" he opens the gift carefully and I beam as his eyes widen in surprise "This is…"

"A custom chess set made of tempered steel." What does an advisor need most? A way to practice strategy that can withstand the test of time "The pieces are all important figures in middle earth though some haven't made their mark yet. Their names are on the bottom but I specifically had them written in English so you couldn't read them."

"Why?" he asks with a disbelieving chuckle

"So you never forget that there is always something more to learn."

"A fine and hardy gift lass." A low rumbles sounds at my back "Lest he forget that for all the advisin' he does, others can still advise him."

"Dwalin, ole buddy ole pal!" the tattooed dwarf leans in the doorway dressed in a light undershirt that has been soaked with sweat. Training must have been fun "How's it hanging?"

"I've no idea what yer sayin' but welcome back." He steps up to my side and head butts me softly "Ye've been missed."

"Woah." I say with my eyes wide, touching my head gently "I feel special now."

"As ye should. Now," he folds his arms across his chest "where is my gift?"

So off I go, tossing out presents and with each present, a new random dwarf somehow enters the room and with each dwarf, my heart warms a whole lot. I have no idea who is watching the doors but they should be fired. I feel like this is what happened to that version of Beorn. One by one, a dwarf enters but while he was weirded out, I am overjoyed. To Dwalin I present a set of retractable army knives. Soon after he stops cutting up all the clothes in the room, Oin stops by with Ori. I give the healer a book of plants that includes their names, meanings and uses. To Ori, I give brightly colored yarn and 5 boxes containing 100 ballpoint pens each. 'I sure hope that'll be enough.' The young dwarrow lifts me off my feet and swings me around in an uncharacteristic show of emotion. Each person seems to genuinely like their present and that makes me feel a bit proud.

"This is amazing!" I gush, more than elated to see so many of my friends after so long. I can't give gifts to some just yet and I still have the royals. And Nori. But I doubt he'll show his face just yet. Thorin is off minding his Kingly business and Kili is way too far away but I don't know where "Where are Fili and Kili?"

"… Fili had a few duties to complete but will be arriving shortly." Balin's answer is slow and hesitant as if he is trying to gauge my reaction "And Kili…"

"... isn't with him." I may not know much but I know that

"No." the fatherly dwarf agrees quickly

"Then where is he?" I'm surprised by his curt answer but it is no comparison to the worry I feel over the avoidance of this subject "I have a few things I'd like to say to him."

"…Kili… he…" I've never seen my adoptive father so lost for words and it tightens the coil in my stomach "Kili is gone."

"Gone…" The word sounds so foreign in my mouth. Thick and stale like an old cracker. I glance around the room but no one appears to want to elaborate "Gone where?"

"Last I heard, he was heading to the Brown lands." I turn towards the door to face the new voice "But that was years ago. He could be anywhere."

I stare at the newcomer, a frown finding its way onto my face. He is well dressed and wears the colors of the house of Durin, further supported by the insignia on the cuffs of his shirt. I roll my shoulders as the data surrounding the colors and seal filter into my mind. It's uncomfortable after so long. Shaking off the feeling, I return to my examination. He bears a strong resemblance to Thorin so I think it's safe to assume they are related in some way. His cool blue eyes glitter in a way that shows well-hidden mischief. Not hidden from the world but from himself. I continue to stare as he opens his arms with a look of slight offense.

"Have you forgotten your guardian in a mere 60 years?"

"What are you… talking… about…" I take a good look at the dwarf before me. His face is nearly completely covered in hair but I can make out the mature lines of his jaw. A jaw covered in a blond beard. I only know one fair-haired dwarf crazy enough to actually try and claim to be my guardian "Fili? Is that you?"

"Finally!" he comes forward to embrace me in a tight hug while I stand stunned "It took you long enough! Am I that forgettable?"

"No, no of course not. It's just…" I blink down into his face. Without his signature doubled goatee, his appearance is totally unrecognizable "Your face… what happened to it?"

"I've been askin' his Uncle that for years." Dwalin gripes good-naturedly

The room offers a fit of chortles, snorts, and chuckles at the crown prince's expense. I hiss at catching on to the implications of my question. 'Welcome back Thia. You can start unintentionally insulting people again.' I drop my head into my hands embarrassed over the mistake but force myself to lift my eyes. I give the prince an apologetic smile before attempting to straighten out the 115x too-big dress over my shoulders. My embarrassment would only be made worse if I accidentally flashed the room.

"There is someone I'd like for you to meet." His grin is visible even behind his full beard "And I hear there is someone I should meet?"

"Aye!"Oin calls, finally lifting his head from the book. I'd had the forethought to translate as much of the thing I could into common. Worst. Month. EVER. "Where is the wee lad?"

"Everyone is so sure that I had a boy. Kiliel is playing babysitter." I shake my head but don't miss the immediate shift of atmosphere at the mention of the child. I will get to the bottom of this, but first "Who did you want me to meet?"

"My wife."

Now we are getting somewhere! Also, Chapter 1.5 (1st chapter of the side story, complimenting the 5th chapter of the main story) has been published. It'll be under the story "Ladies Nights".