Chapter 7
"When is this shindig happening?"
"What?"
"The ceremony where I get to finally stop pretending that I'm not your wife."
"This evening, but Thia-"
"The children's clothes have been sent to the room, yes?"
"The tailor was given specific instructions to have them delivered, now-"
"Great! Then I have time to give them a bath before they need to get ready."
"You gave your word that you would relax."
"And whats more relaxing than a bath, hm?"
"If you would just stop for-"
"Nothing, that's what! I'm just-"
"Woman, would you stop for a moment?!" the king's voice thunders behind me and I groan as the guards lining the walls keep their eyes straight ahead and pretend not to listen. It's always guards "Be still and explain this to me!"
I halt in my escape down the hall, Thorin coming to stand before me with his hands intersected over his torso expectantly. I was hoping that when I dropped the whole notion of 'birth control' (after our depressing talk but loving recoupling) on him in the office, he would be too shocked to demand answers. Guess who was wrong? My dwarf was instantaneously all ears and the modest 'I just won't get pregnant or bleed for a while' wasn't enough to placate him.
My second hope was that departing from the room would dissuade him from speaking of the topic in public but I suppose guards aren't people anymore. I banked my last hope on simply out-talking him but he beat me there too. I roll my eyes and hope, once more, that my annoyance will put him off but he's like a pit-bull and isn't letting the matter go.
"I knew I'd be coming back but I had no idea when or where I'd be coming back to middle earth but I wanted to be sure that I was prepared for whatever the world would throw at me." I step forward and whisper so the sentries can't hear "Getting pregnant or bleeding all over this side of the mountain is not on my to-do list so early in the game. So I got birth control that would take care of both issues."
"… How does it work?" he asks, trying not to sound too upset and/or weirded out "This… controlling of your cycles?"
"It's implanted in my arm and lasts for about a year before I have to have it removed"
"How."
"... Noninvasive surgery." His mouth gapes at the words causing me to huff out a breath "It didn't even hurt... That badly."
"Do not jest, this is serious. Are there any lasting effects?" I shake my head because going over the laundry list of possible side effects is just not something I want to do "Once it is removed- do not look at me in that way, it shall be removed immediately."
"Thorin, you can't just decide-"
"Once it is removed," he presses on "you will be able to have children again?"
"Yes but I WON'T have it removed until the year is up."
"Thia-"
"It's almost void anyway. In about" I count the months on my fingers. I'm not looking forward to removing the capsule Middle Earth style "2 months to be exact, it'll be ready for removal but I'll simply start taking the daily pink pill instead."
"More controlling of what should naturally be." He grumbles under his breath in exasperation, looking very much like he wants to throw his arms in the air "These 'pills' will complete the same tasks as the… implantation?"
"Half; they'll keep me from getting pregnant but only if I take them regularly." God forbid I accidentally skip a day "They take way more attention than the implant."
"I see. Then it would be best that you do not ingest them at all." I throw my head back with a groan, which he ignores, just as we ignore the snickering royal bouncers. The king steps into my space and rubs my arm gently. An innocent enough gesture, though it sends a jolt to my heart "Do you not desire to have my children?"
"I've been there, done that. Maybe some other time but not right now. Thanks for the offer." I play off the pleasure his hand on my skin brings, though he laughs at my defense. I mentally shake my fist at the Valar, warning them against any more surprise baby booms as well. They don't know how close I came to tying my tubes. Gesturing down the hall, I continue my thought "You have 2 perfectly great kids you have yet to get to know before we even think of having a third-"
"-or twelfth." He offers with a playful shrug
"Like. Hell." I respond to his ludicrous number with a shiver "Why are you so hard-pressed to get me pregnant anyway?"
"You fall from fewer elevations when you are expecting." He answers seriously
"… " I count in my head and though an unreliable statistic, it's not a lie "… True... but I battle more dragons."
Sad but so very true. We stare at each other for a while longer before one of the guards cant keep it together anymore. Like a good crack in a dam, the floodgates of glee open up, and out cascades good-natured humor. I giggle, Thorin chuckles, and all the nameless lookouts chortle at such a truly hilarious situation.
"Why must I go as well, Aunt Thia?" Kiliel tries not to whine
The young dwelfling sits with his back to mine and my children's bathing forms. I got him this far but the dwarf is a tad bit too old for either of us to be comfortable bathing with each other. Not to mention Thorin firmly forbade it. I never aspired to be a pedophile anyway. Rinsing the 'No Tears' shampoo from Theodore's hair, I listen to the sulking tween.
"I understand why Theo and Thory must be present," said twins grin at the use of their nicknames, whereas I roll my eyes and grab the girl before she can make a break for it "as well as yourself, but why must I attend this meeting?"
"I'll officially be named your guardian, not to mention" I smile to myself while lathering Thoria's hair "because I said so."
"… Amad used to say that all the time." He says, suddenly wary before straightening his shoulders "It is STILL not a very good reason."
"It's all the reason I need." Allowing the boy to believe I didn't notice his momentary lapse into depression, I press on "Now, Theodore is finished so you boys head up to the rooms and get ready, clear?"
The child is silent for a moment as he helps Theodore dry off and get ready to return, but I know he will listen. His natural elvish calmness coupled with his childish obedience have yet to fully clash with his dwarvish stubbornness. For that, I am grateful. Sadly, bathing is restricted to the bathing hall. Sure, the apartments have plumbing for the toilets and kitchen but that's it. I wouldn't send Kiliel up alone, can't even if I wanted to. And I'm honestly afraid to leave him there by himself either. The guards will not let Killiel into the chambers to get his clothes alone. He has to be escorted by one of us. I thought about mentioning it to Thorin but I want to try and handle this at the lowest level possible. The boys leave the bathing chambers, the oldest giving a hesitant nod without ever actually facing me. I listen to their retreating footsteps before returning to the daunting task of washing baby girl's hair. The thick ebony tresses naturally tangle and snag on their own but the tender-headed tot isn't making it any easier.
"Thoria, sit still." I chastise for the third time as the toddler tries to wiggle out of my lap "The more you move, the longer this takes."
"But mama, my eye!" she shrieks, furiously rubbing the right side of her face "My eyeeeeee!"
"Don't put your hands in your face." I try to warn "You'll only-"
"Owwwwww!" she howls as the soap begins to really burn her eye "Aiiiie!"
"Calm down, I've got you." Lifting her to sit on the edge of the pool, I ring out a cloth rag and press it against her now suds-covered peeper. Massaging gently, I repeat the action until all the suds are gone. 'No more tears, my foot.' Handing her the rag, I allow her to hold it, though unnecessary, to her eye "Don't rub so hard, you'll only make it worse."
"Yes mama." she murmurs with a sniff as I once more place her in the water to play with the rubber duckies "But what about the bad man?"
"What bad man?"
"That one." she points to the opposite end of the pool "He keeps looking at your secrets."
"Huh?" I kneel in the water quickly. 'Secrets' is the word I used to describe a person's private parts to the children. They know the true anatomical words but we use 'secrets' as a colloquial catch-all. I don't want anyone ogling mine. I turn in the direction that Thoria's chubby hand points and glare "You."
Sitting on the edge of the large pool is the strange dwarf from the food court. His black pants are rolled up over his knees allowing his legs to drift in the water unhindered. He watches us with an expression of nearly pure curiosity, only marred by his quick glances at what is hidden below the water's surface. 'Pervert.' I doubt that if he really wanted to kill us he'd indulge himself in a nice foot soak and peepshow beforehand but I'm not taking the chance. I begin reaching for my daughter but his next sentence stops me.
"Ye pull that little disappearin' trick of yers, majesty, and ye'll be findin' yerself with one lonely daughter to console."
I immediately 'feel' for Theodore and I know he is with Kiliel but I also 'feel' many others around them. Enemies or civilians, I cannot tell but I recognize none of them. The insecurity of whether those 'others' are dangerous or not stills my departure. I do however place my arms around Thoria and send the dwarf a murderous glare.
"Now don't be that way, love. I just want to ensure yer complete attention."
"Well you've got it. How long have you been there?" the guards cleared the room before my family and I entered and the boys didn't mention that anything was amiss when they left. So when did he enter? The dwarf merely shrugs, picking up the duck Theodore had been playing with and smirks, annoying me further "What do you want... you? And what is your name?"
"So many questions." He says with a pretend sigh "Which do ye wish to know most? I will only answer one."
"Who are you?" I ask without even having to think
"A very good question, my queen." He says in that buttery voice as his eyes remain cold "Are ye sure you don't desire to know how long I've been watchin' ye bathe?"
"The amount of time you spent peeping won't change anything now." I sink lower into the water's depths at the reminder "I want to know who you are."
"I want many things." He purrs and I scoff "Would ye like me to name a few for ye?"
"No need. You'll attempt to do what you came for regardless of whether I ask you or not." When the dwarf tries to dissuade me again I make a very unladylike noise that has Thoria 'oooooo'ing in my lap "Stop wasting my time and tell me who. You. Are."
"Could ye not ask the king or spymaster?" I don't bother to answer as we both know I can't. They would refuse to tell me as they have done so far; one for my protection and the other because he's a bastard. The dwarf finally runs out of excuses or maybe he was just waiting until he grew tired of stalling and answers "Many call me Long Arm, as nothin' is beyond my-"
"Yeah, no."
"... Excuse me?"
"You don't get some wicked cool name. You're not that important." Thoria softly chastises me for the rudeness of interrupting others. Having kids is hard. I 'feel' for the boys again and wish they would hurry up and get to the rooms so I'd know they are safe "I didn't ask what others call you, I asked who you are."
"Hm." I know I've asked the right question by his obvious desire not to answer it. Much to my dismay, he turns his attention to Thoria and wiggles his fingers in her direction "Yer mama is a smart one, isn't she?"
"Don't you DARE talk to her!" I growl menacingly, pushing the child behind my back "Do not EVER talk to her!"
"Apologies, my queen. I meant no harm. As for my name…" His head bows as his hands raise in a submissive position that I don't trust for a minute. Still, since the first time I had the displeasure of meeting the dwarf, he seems hesitant. Good "It has changed many times over. I've forgotten it ions ago... It'll serve ye well, sister, to know that I'm not of this world."
"..." I say nothing. I almost feel like calling him on a bluff but he looks downright ashamed of the story he is trying to get me to buy
"Yer world once knew me as Gwydion or Taoroinai in the old days. But you... you might recognize the more new... popular ones of Anansi, Monkey King, Maui or-"
"Ah" I say as it dawns on me "You are the trickster."
"Not surprised, aye?" He huffs out in distaste as I secretly wonder at how sensitive he is over his image. He's not lying, I don't know how I know (Yes, I do) but I know he's not lying. And I know he hates himself. Its... strange "I would thank ye kindly to avoid spreading it around. Few in this world know of m-"
"Br'er Rabbit!?" Thoria whispers loudly in a way only a three-year-old could "He's a bunny?!"
"Thoria…" I groan
"Did ye know sister Thia had to take a bath to wash away Thorin's seed that was drippin' from her womb?" The dwarf causally asks the sudden question as if he were addressing the room on whether anyone wanted tea. Probably because I forbade him from talking to Thoria directly. I nearly slap the poor girl silly to cover her ears against his vulgar assault "There is no need for such precautions. From what I heard ye are 'unable' to conceive at the moment. Ye may serve the king without worry. From what I SAW, ye serve very well, my lady. Allow me to offer my congratulations on performing yer wifely duties." If I wasn't shaking in outrage, I'd kill him. No... I wouldn't because of Thoria and the boys but I'd have less control. This prick WATCHED us, Thorin and me doing... how? Too many questions "The dwarf king has been in great need of some… relief. He waited 60 years for ye, after all. A lot was, is, pent up. Make sure ye serve him again soon."
"You-"
"I was instructed only to come and watch ye interact with the children. What is important to ye, is crucial to us. Ye are very good with them, sister." He places a hand to his chin as if deep in thought. I know in about 2 minutes the boys will be in the room but Longarm seems to know that too as he is speeding to the end of the conversation. I take his hesitation as an opening to throw a bar of soap at his head which he sadly dodges and continues as though it didn't happen "Have you figured out why it calls out to ye?"
"I don't know what you're talking about, but leave." I issue the order knowing that I've no reason to hold myself back anymore "No one calls to me."
"Oh, but it does. Ye refuse to listen." The dwarf stands and collects his shoes before walking to the door. No shouts are sounded so my assumption is either the guards are gone or knocked out "That might save ye in the end. But with that love for yer children, I doubt it."
"What's that supposed to mean?" I call as he disappears through the doorway "Hey! What's that supposed to mean?!"
"We'll see ye again soon." is his haughty response "Give my regards to Nori, won't ye, love?"
"Hey!" I can't chase him to beat the answers out of the obviously NOT dwarf. I'm so confused. Why is he here? What whispers? Are my kids in danger? Why does he call me 'sister'? My mind reels as I call out uselessly "Wait!"
"…" Even in the now silent room I can hear my daughter's question coming up and I try to will it away but to no avail "… Mama?"
"Yes baby?"
"How come Papa's seeds are in your room?"
Hello all! Take the chapter. Like it. Love it. REVIEW it! I'm serious about the reviews though. Seriously serious. Heheheheh Thank you guys!