Chapter Twenty-Three

Stephanie POV

I woke up early the next morning with cotton balls in my mouth. For a moment, I lay there, wondering what happened, and then it came back to me. Jeanne Ellen threw me that fantastic birthday party. The food was delicious, despite being completely healthy, and Ella's cake was amazing. It was nice to talk to everyone without worrying about my husband's anger because he felt I behaved inappropriately. He didn't like me having any friends of the opposite sex, and he wasn't even comfortable if they were relatives like Tank.

Looking back, I can see that he's isolated me from everyone, men and women alike. Little comments about the friends of mine that he's met and encouraging me to cancel plans I've made with anyone but him, and before I knew it, my entire life revolved around him and our daughter.

I thought back to last night. Getting to know some of the guys was great. Cal and I had a lot in common and talked for ages about New York. It's one of my favourite places, and I'm glad I will still live close enough to visit regularly. He gave me a list of places to go that I had never been to before.

Ranger was acting a little weirdly, however. For someone who probably has women lined up to be with him whenever he crooks his finger, he was acting a little…dare I say, jealous? If there's one lesson I've learned in the past week and a half, it's that men are dogs. I'm sure there are a few exceptions, like Tank, who seems utterly devoted to my sister. Still, the rest of them are probably fucking everyone who will have them, and I'm sure Ranger is no different, despite his noble stance of not sleeping with married women.

I groaned aloud and sat up, picking up my phone to check the time. It's early enough that Zoe should still be sleeping for the next half hour, so I decided to get a shower out of the way before she did, and then I could make some coffee. Today is a coffee morning.

Zoe and I were ready to face the day an hour and a half later. Jeanne Ellen was keeping Zoe today since she was planning something she called a distraction for her outstanding skip. She said she could plan it while hanging with Zoe, so I'd go to Rangeman and do some work.

After kissing Zoe and waving goodbye to my sister, I drove to Rangeman. There was a large stack of files for research, so I got down to business quickly and started running through everything. I worked like a machine until lunch, then ate a sandwich and some fruit Ella had provided in the break room. I chatted with some of the men who were there today, like Ram, Binkie and Woody. They hadn't been at my party, so I didn't mention it, but we chatted about Trenton and where they had each grown up.

Just as I was finishing my lunch, Mr. Manoso called.

"Good afternoon, Stephanie. I just wanted to let you know that your husband has been served. He received both the divorce and custody papers. According to the process server I hired, he was irate, so I thought I should warn you to be cautious."

"Thank you, Mr. Manoso. I'll screen my calls and avoid taking his."

"I am puzzled about one thing, though, Stephanie. Perhaps you can clear it up."

"Sure, what would you like to know?"

"Why did you say your husband is a lawyer? He's working for Bendini & Locke as a paralegal, not an attorney."

I frowned at the phone. What the hell is he talking about? "Um, he is a lawyer. A paralegal? Are you sure?"

"I am sure. Did you…did he tell you he's a lawyer?" he asked.

"Well, I met him when he was in law school. I know he finished it. Why wouldn't he be working as a lawyer?"

"He may not have passed the Bar. I can look into that," he said.

We spoke for a few more minutes, and then I was lost in thought after we disconnected. Is it possible that The Dick is not a practicing lawyer? Is it possible that our entire home life was a lie and his work was too?

I stood up and strode purposefully to Tank's office. I rapped sharply on the door, but there was no answer. Ranger must've heard me because he came out of his office. After looking at me for a moment, he gave me an inquiring look. "Steph? Are you okay?"

I breathed deeply for a few beats, then said, "no, I'm not. Your father has just told me he doesn't believe my husband is a lawyer."

Ranger appeared to mull that over before finally asking, "is there anything about this guy that isn't a lie?"

I felt angrier as I mentally recapped the last ten days of my life. My husband cheated on me with the nanny. Then I found out that he's taped us having sex and uploaded it to his paysites, making money off me. He has a second wife, a lovely big house and twin sons in another state. Now, he's probably not a lawyer but a paralegal. I feel monumentally stupid that I never picked up on any of this. Is The Dick just that good of a liar?

"Apparently, The Dick was quite irate when he was served, so he warned me about that too. He has a temper, so I'm a bit nervous about what might happen."

"Do you know how to defend yourself?" asked Ranger.

"No, not how you mean."

"Can I teach you some things? Are you willing to carry a gun?"

"I'm not willing, considering I have Zoe. I would never want her to get hold of it. But I'd be willing to learn some self-defence moves. Are you sure you're not too busy? I can always ask Tank to teach me at home."

"I wouldn't have offered if I didn't have time. It's important. When you come in tomorrow, why don't you bring something you can work out in? Nothing too baggy. I can go over some things before you leave for the day," he suggested.

"Thank you, I'll do that." I paused. "I guess I should get back to work."

I returned to my cubicle and got back into the rhythm of performing searches. I found my mind wandering as I plugged in the information and waited for the results. In the deepest parts of my heart, I was sorta okay with the idea of divorce. I hadn't been truly happy in a while, though I faked it and maybe even believed it. Zoe was the balm that soothed any hurt, calmed my anger, and made me smile even when I didn't feel like it. I probably would have left Richard long ago if I hadn't had her. I never wanted her to grow up in a broken home. I also never wanted her to grow up in a home like the one I did, so I swallowed my feelings and tried not to fight or argue with Richard. My parents argued. They tried to hide it too, but our house was small, and we heard them in their bedroom at night.

It hurt Jeanne Ellen because she felt like the cause of all the strife in the house, even though she was just a kid and in no way the cause of anything. My dad felt guilty about cheating on my mom, and since he was gone so often, he just let her run the house as she saw fit. She resented Jeanne Ellen as a living embodiment of her husband's betrayal, then felt especially betrayed by me when Jeanne Ellen and I became so close. I didn't know all this then, but my dad and my counsellor in college helped me see the hidden family dynamics at play.

So, when it came to my family and home, I worked hard to pretend everything was great even when it wasn't. Zoe deserved to know only happiness. Life's hard enough; I've learned that painful lesson repeatedly over the last ten days.

I felt exhausted like all my mental and emotional reserves had dried up. I wanted to scream and hit things, mainly The Dick. I wanted to make him suffer as much as he had hurt me. But I was conflicted. As much as I wanted that, I didn't want to hurt my daughter's father. Was that normal? I don't know.

I laughed under my breath. When I was little, I wanted to be Wonder Woman. I wanted to fly. When was the last time I felt that way? Had my life until now killed all that adventurous spirit? Everything just felt so…heavy. Like weights were being piled on, one after the other, until I felt I could barely move or breathe. I sucked in air, feeling like I couldn't get enough. My mind was racing, and tears sprang to my eyes. I dropped the file I was holding onto the desk so I could grip the edge to prevent falling. My ears started ringing, and I closed my eyes. I could hear sobbing. Was that me? I felt my fingers pried away from the desk, but I couldn't open my eyes. They felt so heavy. Now I'm weightless, floating away.