Hi Readers: What did you think of today's first chapter? And what are you thinking of the topic of conversation that Matt and Gabby are going to be having today. I truly believe that this is a conversation that the duo have been meaning to have for a while, and I am so glad that they are finally having this conversation; and I hope that you guys are too. Now, if you guys have any ideas for what they can talk about during this conversation; then I would love to have that, as it may definitely lead me to including some other storylines that you guys can let me explore. And I truly mean it when I say that I want to hear your questions, and I want to know where there are some holes in my storyline so that I can fix them. Thanks again, and I can't wait to hear if there are questions you have. But for now, I'm going to give you guys what you guys want right now; and that's Chapter Twenty-Six. Here we go with some more romance. Well, not just romance; but also the important conversation that the couple need to have, about Matt's PTSD and how it works right now.
Chapter Twenty-Six
A Deep Dive into Matt's PTSD, Part One
Let's just say that Gabby was truly in paradise right now. She was laying down in her loving husband's arms, running her hand up and down his chest as they cuddled up to each other. And Gabby was not the only one felt like this was paradise, because Matt was in paradise too; he had his beautiful wife in his arms, with his arms wrapped around her as she wore some really nice lingerie for him. Running her hand up Matt's chest, Gabby smiled as she put her hand on his heart and then kissed him softly. Just taking things nice and slow with his wife, Matt smirked due to the fact that this is just something that is so special. This time that the couple are spending with each other is exactly what they need. And they most definitely need to talk about stuff that they need to just do this slowly. And that's exactly what Gabby was going to tell her husband, that he doesn't need to rush when it comes to them talking about this. He can take his time, and she'll be here to listen the entire time. That's what a wife does for her the man she loves, every day.
Running her hand down Matt's chest, Gabby smiled as she leaned in and then proceeded to kiss him again; and that was just what he wanted right now, he wanted to have his wife give him a nice kiss. He wanted to share a bunch of kisses with the woman he loves today, and he believes that Gabby already knows that. But right now, this is not all they need to do; rather, they need to have this conversation that they plan on having. A conversation that will allow them to have a deep dive into his PTSD, which will also allow Gabby to effectively help her husband in dealing with everything that goes on in his head on a daily basis. And that's why they need to talk to each other right now, and they need to talk about his PTSD right now; but there was just a problem that seemed to be hanging over the both of them, and that was the uncertainty as to who should start the conversation. And that's when Gabby decided to start the conversation due to the fact that she was starting to get a bit tired when it comes to them just resting here in silence right now.
"Okay, so I am going to just do this so that we can start this conversation; and I am going to speak first, even though we both know that I should not be the one who speaks first in this conversation." Matt agreed with his beautiful wife when she said that, smiling as he knew that was the truth. "I know, but I was just so happy holding you like this; especially since you're really sexy when you wear this lingerie for me." Gabby smirked as she heard Matt tell her that, before putting her hand on his toned chest. After which, she went ahead and ran her hand down his chest. Just leaning in as he put his hand on hers, Matt smiled as he leaned in and then proceeded to kiss Gabby softly; the woman he loves more than anything in the entire world. "God, I love you so much." Gabby agreed with Matt as he told her that he loves her, because she knows that; however, she also knew that this was another way for him to stall. "Okay, let's just make sure that you don't stall now. So, stop stalling and start talking Mr. Casey." Matt laughed and agreed with Gabby.
"So, where should we start?" Gabby took a breath. "Matt, I want you to tell me where you're comfortable starting; this is what you need to tell me right now. So, what do you want to talk about?" Matt took a breath when he heard Gabby say that, before looking at his girl. "How about we start with the first thing that we both know is part of my past, the way I was abused as a child." Gabby took a breath when she heard Matt say that, because she knew that this is definitely going to be a hard topic. "Baby, I want you to remember that you can take it slow. I don't need to rush, nor do I want you to rush through this. This is a hard topic, and I want you to take it easy with me." Matt agreed with his wife when she said that, smiling as he felt her get close to him; after which, she wrapped her arms around his torso and just cuddled up to him. At the same time, Matt put his hand on her arm while stroking it with his thumb; after which, Matt pressed his lips to Gabby's forehead and just smiled as he truly was very comfortable with his wife right now.
He then looked down at his wife, smiling as he moved his hand to her hip and then bent down to kiss her softly; which later led to him just taking things nice and slow with the woman he loves, and the woman he craves more than anything in the entire world. "Okay, so I think that this part is definitely something that we can get through quite quickly; I just want to do the easy stuff, and fast stuff that's hard." Gabby agreed with her husband when he said that, smiling as she stared up into his eyes. "So, how do we do that?" Matt took a breath as he looked at his girl, well aware that she was a bit unsure as to how they can do that. And the answer was that they can talk about it nice and easy with each other. "So, I think the first one is the fact that I was abused as a child." Gabby agreed with her husband as he said that, well aware that was something that was definitely bothering her husband to this day. "Yeah, I can see that being the case." Matt took a breath and just looked at his wife. "And there's also a fear that comes with it too." Gabby was confused.
"What type of fear?" Matt sighed as he looked down, hating that he even thinks this way. "HEY! I see that look in your eyes, and I really hope that I'm wrong that you're ever thinking that way baby. Please don't tell me that you're thinking about that, because we both know that's not going to happen." Matt took a breath. "Gabby, I mean…" Gabby then proceeded to grab Matt's hand and stroked it with her thumb. "Hey, I don't want you to ever think about that Matt; because that is not the man that I married, and we both know that's the case. Matt, we both know that; you are NOTHING like your father. In fact, you are the complete OPPOSITE of your father. You are kind, loving and caring. You are sweet, intimate, and caring. You care for others, and you put others before yourself; which is exactly what you've been doing for a while, especially when it comes to your PTSD. But listen, I hope to god that you know that you will never be like your father; nor will you ever abuse our sons, because you are not going to abuse Matteo and Noah."
Matt took a breath when he heard Gabby say that, really hoping that was the case. "Matt, I mean that. I really mean that and I swear, I never want you to think about that. I do not want you to ever think that you will ever have the ability to do this to our children. We both love them more than anything in the entire world, and you aren't going to hurt them." Matt agreed with Gabby when she said that, because he knows that's the case; why he thought that wasn't the case, he has no clue. "It's just…I read it all the time, and I'm doing research for something that I've yet to start…and it's been really hard on me." Gabby took a breath. "Let me guess, you're looking into ways that you can help people who are abused?" Matt nodded as Gabby asked him how he can help people who were abused. "I hate to even think this way, but I think it's my way of going back in time; and doing what I should've told my mom to do when she was being abused. I should've told my mom to just leave, to leave my dad and start over somewhere fresh; go to a shelter, and we can start fresh somewhere else." Gabby agreed with Matt as he said that, well aware that was the case; but it's not healthy.
"Matt, I am not going to lecture you; because we already know this, and you already know that it's not a good idea to do this. It's not a good idea for you to go back in time and question all the what ifs. Analyzing all the choices that you made at the time, and all of the choices that you could've made; because that really isn't going to be healthy when you're still dealing with it baby. We both know that you're not going to want to talk about that too much, but it's also something that you need to remember. You are not to blame for this." Matt agreed with Gabby when she said that. "I just hate that I'm thinking this way, when I have training to not think this way; I have the training to make sure that I don't over judge the situation. And even worse, think that people are going to be hurt or. I just don't know." Gabby agreed with her husband when he told her that, well aware that was the case. And she just hates that this is what he spends his day thinking about. After all, that was something that she definitely doesn't want him to think about; she wants him to try and move forward as much as he can, not that you can really forget everything that ever happened in the past.
It was something very traumatic for her husband, and she knows that she needs to make sure that he isn't that type of man. "Baby, I'm sorry that you are always worried about that; and I hate that you are thinking about that. But you need to know that isn't the man that I married, you are not violent; and you are not going to hurt the boys whatsoever, because that is not you. Now, how about we get the topic back to what we need to talk about; and that's your PTSD, as I do not even want to talk about this even more. And that's because it will not help, it'll just make things worse for you; as it may give you more ideas as to just what you can…" Putting his hand on his wife's neck, Matt leaned in and then proceeded to kiss her softly; taking things nice and slow with the woman he loves, Matt smirked due to the fact that this is everything that he wants to do right now. He wants to make sure that his wife knows that he will not do that, he is not going to think that way; because he never wants to do anything that will hurt their children. He knows who he is, and he also knows that he isn't a violent man; especially when it comes to the ones he loves more than anything in the entire world.
Matt has always wanted to be a father, and nothing will ever make him want to do anything that can put that life at risk. "Okay, you can relax know and just take it easy baby." Gabby agreed with Matt when he told her that, smiling as she proceeded to grab his hand; she then stroked his hand and looked into his eyes. "So, where were we now?" Matt smiled. "I guess, we were just talking about your abuse experience; but I am worried because I don't want you to digest this too much." Matt agreed with his wife when she said that, well aware that was the case. "So, I think that we can both agree that this topic has been talked about; and that we don't need to worry about anymore?" Gabby agreed with her husband when he said that, smiling as that was something that she definitely agreed about. She then smirked as she put her hand on his cheek, kissing him softly. "So, do you want to take a breather in between this topic…or do you want to just go ahead and talk to me about the next one?" Matt smirked as he proceeded to roll over on top of her.
"Maybe we can do something first?" Gabby smirked as she heard Matt say that, before putting her hand on his face. "And just what might that be?" Putting his hand on Gabby's hip, Matt smirked as he started to take things nice and slow with the woman he loves more than anything in the entire world. God, the way she makes him feel is everything; and there's truly nothing more that he wants to do right now. "I love you." Gabby agreed with Matt when he said that, before smirking as he went ahead and started to take things slow with him. That was, until they were disturbed by the sound of something beeping. "Oh c'mon! What's that?" Matt then took a breath while looking down into his wife's eyes, as he knew that it was his alarm; the alarm on his phone. "It's your phone alarm?" Rolling over, Matt took a breath and then proceeded to look at his phone. "Oh, I need to do this." Gabby was confused when she heard Matt say that. "And what's 'this'?" Matt smiled as he went to get up. "Medication."
He just finished taking his medication this morning, which is something that he should've done when he first woke up; but unfortunately, there were some days that he forgot to do at times. And he felt horrible about that. Just looking at his wife, he let out a sigh as he thought that she was disappointed in him. "Hey, what is that sigh all about Matt?" Matt then looked at his beautiful wife when she said that. "You aren't disappointed about the fact that I didn't take my medication this morning?" Gabby smiled as she heard Matt ask her that, as that wasn't something that she was worried about. Rather, all that mattered to her that he took them. "Matt, all that matters to me at the end of the day is that you take the medication that you need to take. Whether you take it right when you wake up, or if you take it later; I really don't care about that." Matt agreed with his wife when she said that, smiling as he made his way over to Gabby so that he can join her in bed. After all, that was exactly what he wanted to do with his wife right now. He wanted to lay down in bed with Gabby so that they can continue the conversation that they were having, about his PTSD.
However, there's another thing that Gabby is going to mention; and that's the fact that her husband brought his phone into the washroom with him, which makes her believe that he also checked his e-mails. "Did you check your work e-mails while you were in there?" Matt bit his lip when Gabby asked him whether he checked his e-mails, before setting his phone down on his charger. "If I did, would you be okay with that?" Gabby snickered as she heard Matt ask her that, because she is okay with it. She knows that her husband does need to make sure that the company runs efficiently for the sake of their employees. "I know that we have employees to take care of at the same time, so we can't always be off the grid too long." Matt agreed with his beautiful wife when she said that, before proceeding to adjust his boxers; after which, he smiled at his girl as she really looked sexy in her lingerie that she was wearing for him. "Damn, I still love the sight of that lingerie that you're wearing for me right now." Gabby agreed with Matt, smirking. "I know you do, and I am sure that you want to run your hands all over it; so, are you going to join me in bed now?" Matt agreed, smirking.
Opening the covers, Matt smirked as he proceeded to make his way into his bed with his beautiful wife; who just so happens to also be both the woman he loves more than anything in the entire world, and the mother of his children. Just slipping close to his gorgeous wife in the center of their bed, Matt smirked as he once again closed the covers on top of the both of them. Afterwards, he wrapped his arm around her back and smirked due to the fact that he knows that Gabby loves it when he holds her in his arms. Just bringing his beautiful wife against his chest, Matt smiled as he felt her wrap her arms around his back. After which, she leaned in and proceeded to kiss Matt softly. Taking things nice and slow with the man she adores, I love you; and I am so proud of the fact that you are opening up to me, I want to make sure that I say that." Matt agreed with Gabby when she said that, before pushing a strand of hair behind her ear. Moving his hand to the side of her head, Matt smiled as he kissed her forehead softly; after which, Matt smiled as he kissed her softly. Just taking things slow with his girl, Matt smiled as he is very happy with his gorgeous wife. "So, where were we in this conversation?"
Gabby smiled when Matt asked her where they were in the conversation that they were having with each other. "I think that we were actually taking a break in the conversation, and we were going to share a nice kiss with each other." Matt smirked as he heard Gabby say that, before grabbing the covers and adjusting them on top of the both of them; after which, he wrapped his arm around Gabby before tugging her against his chest. After which, Gabby slipped her legs in between his; and let's just say that was exactly what Matt wanted right now, he wanted to have his wife right against him. Running his hand up and down Gabby's side, Matt smirked as he leaned in and then proceeded to kiss his beautiful wife softly. Just taking things nice and slow with Gabby, Matt smirked due to the fact that this is exactly what he wants to do right now. He wants to take things slow with his gorgeous wife, and he wants to do it each and every day for the rest of his life. "I love you, and I hope you know that." Gabby agreed with Matt when he said that, before smiling at him. "And that's why you need to be open with me baby, especially now that we're going to start with the other topics."
Matt agreed with Gabby when she said that, before proceeding to kiss her forehead softly. "I just hope that you know that we can skip over Hallie's death if you don't…" Gabby shook her head. "No, I want to talk about it; because it's part of your PTSD. In fact, I think that's where we were right now. Or do you want to do Andy's death first?" Matt took a breath when he heard Gabby ask him that. "We already did talk about it a bit…" Gabby agreed with her husband, before clarifying when she means. "Hey, I'm just giving you a chance to talk to me about whatever you need to talk to me about; and that means everything baby. I mean that." Matt sighed as he heard Gabby say that, before going ahead with talking about these harder topics with his wife. "Let's get Hallie's death out of the way, as I hate the idea of talking to you about my ex." Gabby shook her head. "Hey, it's okay baby; I mean, I have helped you with it. Just talk to me." Matt agreed with his wife when she said that, before putting his hand on her back and stroking it with his thumb; but before he spoke to her, he proceeded to kiss her forehead softly. "I just hated how I couldn't help her whatsoever." Gabby agreed.
"Yeah, I know. But you do need to remember what I told you Matt, that there was nothing that we could do for her. She was already dead after you saved her baby. That was the truth, and I hate that you had to go through that; watching you go through that was definitely something that I hated to have to watch you go through." Matt agreed with his wife when she said that, well aware that was the case. I mean, what wife wants to watch her husband go through that; even though they weren't married at the time. However, Matt does know that she was in love with him that the time, because that's just obvious to him. Everybody knew it, except for him. But he's glad that it's come out now; because it means that they have this life with each other…and they are both really happy with each other and their sons. "I guess, part of that thing is that I hate the most is that I was the one who wasn't able to save her. That was something that really bothered me. And I know that I shouldn't blame myself but…" Gabby just agreed with her husband.
"Hey, I already know that Matt. I already know the fact that you still blame yourself, even when you shouldn't. But I promise to you right now that you aren't going to ever do that again, because I'm here to help you out right now." Matt agreed with Gabby when she said that, just smiling as he held the woman he loves close to him. Running his hand up and down her back, Matt smiled due to the fac that this is everything that he wants to do right now. He wants to hold the woman he loves, and he wants to make sure that they are just talking to each other while dealing with everything that they're going to talk about right now. "So, what are we going to talk about next?" Gabby laughed as she heard Matt say that. "Do you really think that's all you need to say?" Matt sighed. "Baby, I mean it. I know that you hated it, and that it really hurt you. I heard your scream after the doctor told you she died, and I know that was something that you were still dealing with. I don't just want you to negate the fact that it still bothers you to this day."
Matt agreed with his wife when she said that, well aware of the fact that it does still bother him to this day; and he hates that, especially when it's happening during his marriage to Gabby. "I just hate that it's happening during our marriage." Gabby shook her head when Matt say that. "Hey, take a breath and look at me Matt, this isn't something that you need to worry about okay? I am here for you, and this is what we're going to do. We're going to talk about everything. This is just the next thing. We already spoke about your abuse, we know about Andy's death; and now we're talking about Hallie's death. However, you have to remember what I told you. Are you sure that you want to do this fast? Because we can do other things now. We can skip this topic, or even take a breath." Matt took a breath while thinking about what he should do, and what is really the best think for him to do. He knows that he needs to talk to his wife, and he needs to make sure that she knows everything. "Gabby, I think that I'm good right now. We're talking."
Gabby agreed with Matt when he said that, smiling as she leaned in and then proceeded to kiss the man she loves. Taking things nice and slow with him, Gabby just smirked due to the fact that she was really happy at the moment. Matt is just so damn sexy, and she's glad that this is what they're doing right now. They're holding each other close, while they also deal with what's going on in his head. "So, what's next? Because I think I can already see that you're done with this topic." Matt then thought about what was next and then ran his hand up and down her back. "I think it was the first time that we experienced almost loosing each other." Gabby was confused when Matt said that, unsure of what he meant. "When was that?" Matt sighed. "Right before you started at the academy, when I almost died."