Michael Brown

"That was awful" I stated, completely exhausted. Even though I was prepared to face immense hardships during my education at Hogwarts, I was not ready for the sheer torture I had just experienced. My will was utterly broken and my soul crushed during the last hour, leaving me as an empty husk. Apparently my current companion felt differently though.

"It wasn't that bad" responded Luna with her usual soft voice. She was walking beside me with a serene smile on her face, apparently unaffected by the ordeal. I was honestly impressed by her fortitude. I already knew she was strong-willed of course, but to endure so much suffering and still be able to smile like that meant she truly had a will of adamant. "Professor Binns knows a lot about goblin rebellions and some of it was actually quite interesting, like the fact that they were wearing vests with four buttons at the time"

For the moment I was tempted to argue with her, as what she was saying was almost impossible for me to comprehend, but ultimately I decided against doing that. I just spent an hour tortured with boring trivia about the long-forgotten conflict between the wizarding world and goblins and I wasn't really eager to repeat that.

It was the third day of my education at Hogwarts. The first one was of course the day of my arrival at Hogwarts, the sorting feast and me meeting Luna. The second one mostly consisted of introductory classes about various subjects. Like charms, herbology or transfiguration. It was quite underwhelming to be honest, as these classes were mostly about our future curriculum without any actual spellcasting yet. They were extremely forgettable, with nothing substantial to talk about.

This day was certainly different, though it wasn't a good thing. I mean, I just spent my first History of Magic class listening to a mind-numbingly boring monologue about some "famous goblins", who apparently achieved nothing and did nothing substantial. The fact that our teacher wasn't even alive certainly didn't help either. The novelty of having a ghost teacher faded quickly when I realized that Professor Binns didn't move at all during the entire class, only increasing my boredom.

The sheer agony I felt trying to stay awake during this "class" made me think that it was all just intentional sabotage on the part of the Ministry. They knew that "these who forget the past are doomed to repeat it" and they were actually counting on it. They intentionally made the most boring and soulless ghost a teacher to make Hogwarts students uninterested in the past of the wizarding world. They made the population willingly ignorant about all of the atrocities and mistakes committed by the Ministry, as well as any historical opposition to their regime, letting the Ministry freely rewrite history without anyone protesting. Destroying the past was a typical behaviour of a totalitarian regime, so I wasn't surprised that was the case with the Ministry. How terrifying.

I shook my head. Now it wasn't the time to think about the Ministry's propaganda. I still had other classes to attend. I took out my schedule to see where to go next.

"So, the next subject is potions. Don't know where it is though…" I said, trying to find anything useful on the instructions we were provided. My schedule stated we were supposed to go to the potion classroom, but I had no idea where it was. To be honest, we weren't given a lot of information about the castle at all, which was probably intentional. I wouldn't be surprised if the faculty wanted students to be as confused and disorganized as possible. It certainly would make feeding them to the castle easier.

"I know where it is," said Luna happily. When I looked at her, she continued "It's in dungeons"

"Dungeons? Why?" I responded, my voice doubtful. My artificial memories also suggested that, but it didn't make much sense to me. I mean, were we really expected to mix all these dangerous and volatile liquids and gasses underground, with no easy access to fresh air? Wasn't it like a really bad idea? Hmm, was it done on purpose?

"Because Severus Snape, our potions teacher, is a vampire. So a dungeon is the only part of the castle where he can teach students during the day" She said, nodding her head like she was stating something obvious. She then pointed to one of her necklaces. Well, calling it necklace could be a stretch, as it was just a string of onion bulbs she put on her neck. "That's why I am wearing this today"

"Hmm, yes. That makes sense" I acknowledged, knowing that her theory was quite probable. I couldn't fully trust my memories, but from what I remembered, Snape was an antisocial recluse with pale skin, obsessed with someone else's lover. He was living in the castle's dungeon and really liked to make his opponents bleed. It actually kind of sounded Dracula-like, so it was actually possible he was a vampire. Another good suggestion from Luna.

The fact that I was spending time with Luna was not something I expected. I still wasn't sure my new…acquaintance? Colleague? wasn't employed by the Ministry to spy on me, but I actually found her company quite pleasant. Her intelligence made our conversations interesting and engaging, not to mention she was a fellow truth seeker, seeing the world as it was. For that reason I decided that it would be a good idea to interact with her, if only to satisfy my psychological and biological need for human company. I wouldn't of course trust her with my most guarded secrets, like the ones connected to reincarnation/conspiracy/simulation theory, but a casual interaction with her would be beneficial for me.

Ironically, what actually convinced me to continue my interactions with Luna was her rather unflattering portrayal in the Harry Potter series. Whoever created my memories, they wanted me to think of Luna as a crazy girl, who spouted illogical theories left and right. I was supposed to believe she was just a conspiracy theorist, with her role being just a comedic relief. My conversations with her showed however that she was actually a perfectly rational intellectual, contrary to how she was presented in the books and movies. It was a sign that someone feared she knew too much, so they were trying to discredit her. Too bad for them, I saw through their scheme.

It actually took us almost half an hour to find the classroom. Part of the reason for that was because Hogwarts dungeons were surprisingly big. Even knowing where to look, there were dozens of rooms down there, making a search quite time consuming. However the main reason was the fact that travelling to dungeons required using a grand staircase. It turned out that the constant rearrangement of stairs wasn't a very practical feature, making any travel much more annoying for everyone involved. Who would have thought.

Fortunately we were able to arrive in time and take seats at the cauldrons before Snape dramatically entered the classroom, loudly opening the door and entering the room without even bothering to close them afterwards. Ignoring everyone's shocked looks he approached his desk.

Seeing Snape only confirmed Luna's theory about him being a vampire. It explained everything: his pale skin, dark long hair, piercing eyes, even his black robes and dramatic entry. The only thing that was missing was his weakness to sunlight. Classroom, despite being in the dungeon, had windows, so daylight was freely illuminating the room. Snape didn't even flinch as he stepped into the light, but I suspected it was because he used some sort of spell to protect himself. It was a wizarding world after all.

After reaching his desk he looked at the entire class, consisting of Ravenclaw and Hufflepuff first years, with barely contained disgust, making it clear that he didn't want to be here. As he was watching us, I wisely avoided his gaze, instead looking at his forehead. I didn't want him to use legilimency or a vampire gaze on me after all. He frowned a little after seeing me do that, but he didn't comment on that, instead deciding to give us a monologue about potions.

"You are here to learn the subtle science and exact art of potion-making," he began. His voice was quite soft, yet I could hear his every word clearly. There was a certain kind of superiority in his voice, befitting a vampire with hundreds of years of knowledge. "As there is little foolish wand-waving here, many of you will hardly believe this is magic. I don't expect you will really understand the beauty of the softly simmering cauldron with its shimmering fumes, the delicate power of liquids that creep through human veins, bewitching the mind, ensnaring the senses….I can teach you how to bottle fame, brew glory, even stop death – if you aren't as big a bunch of dunderheads as I usually have to teach."

"Ah, so he is 'that' kind of vampire" I whispered underneath my breath. Listening to his speech made me realize something horrible. He wasn't a Dracula kind of vampire. No, he was something much worse. His centuries of undeath, spent mostly on creating new concoctions and elixirs, made him into that weird, Twilight type of vampire, only with potions instead of Bella Swan. Beauty of softly simmering cauldron? delicate power of liquids ensnaring the senses? There was no way I was going to leave my cauldron with this creep.

Apparently being a vampire involved a keen sense of hearing, because immediately after I said Snape started walking in my direction, glaring at me intensely.

Wasn't it like really bad?

…I don't even know how I arrived at that last conclusion. I blame the fact that I am really tired.