Michael Brown
Have you ever seen a performance so brilliant that it almost made you forget it wasn't real? Actor so talented that they make you forget they are just playing their role? As a matter of fact, I did.
The name of that actor was Gilderoy Lockhart.
I was currently attending Defence against the Dark Magic class, listening to Lockhart's story about him journeying to the Himalayas and spending a month in Yeti village. Hearing it, I couldn't help but be awed by his masterful performance.
"And there I was, bravely risking my life to save a small yeti, who slipped on icy rock and fell into a deep chasm. His mother was already sobbing, convinced that her child was dead, but I didn't give up!" Lockhart exclaimed passionately before making a small pause, most likely for the effect. Seeing that everyone was still listening to him intently, he continued.
"I decided to climb down the chasm, using only the strength of my arms and power of my will. It took some time, but eventually I was able to reach the bottom, where I found the child. It was battered and afraid, but otherwise fine. Knowing it wouldn't be able to climb on its own, I tied it to my back and started a slow journey to the top. When we finally reached it and I returned the child to its parents, the whole family declared their eternal gratitude. They actually still send me letters once a while, thanking me for my bravery" Said Lockhart, his voice full of emotion. The entire class was looking at him in wonder, listening to his speech with a bated breath.
Even I was listening to him intently, full of admiration for his masterful acting.
After all, if not for my artificial memories, I would have never guessed Gilderoy Lockhart was a ruthless, shrewd man, who was playing the role of a dumb idiot, who was pretending to be a smart and intelligent man. What a performance!
While the Harry Potter series presented him as a pathetic fool, who was trying to convince everyone he was a genius, the reality couldn't be more different. From what I was able to observe so far, Gilderoy Lockhart was actually a masterful performer, playing the role of the lifetime. While everyone else was seeing him as a bumbling, incompetent idiot, I knew better.
Let's start with the fact that despite his portrayal in the series, this man actually graduated from Hogwarts with good marks. Maybe if he was a bad student, his canon actions would make sense, especially his puzzling incompetence in magic. But he was actually seen as quite talented during his education, so his irrational behaviour as a teacher had to be some sort of ploy. I mean, how stupid would someone have to be to apply for a teaching position without knowing anything about the subject? Unrealistically stupid. That was why I knew Lockhart was planning something for sure.
There was also the fact that Dumbledore, dreaded puppet master himself, decided Lockhart was competent enough to be chosen as the next Defence against the Dark Magic teacher. While it was possible that Dumbledore intentionally hired someone incompetent to hamper students' growth or for some other incomprehensible reason, I didn't think it was the case here.
No, it was more likely that Dumbledore saw the true nature of the man known as Gilderoy Lockhart and decided to recruit him. After all, if someone is capable of obliviating numerous witches and wizards without raising any suspicion (quite a feat considering some of them had to tell others about their research beforehand) they are definitely a very valuable asset to have. The fact that Lockhart was an Obliviate expert was just a cherry on the top.
I was also quite sure that his idiotic, glory-seeking personality was just his another persona, made to fool people perceptive enough to see through his first mask. Most people would just see him as a charismatic and brilliant man, while a few people would see him as a bumbling idiot, incapable of doing anything right. However no one would see the cold, calculating man hiding behind these two masks. Lockhart's performance was both impressive and terrifying.
Listening to the man, I wasn't actually sure if I should fear him or admire him. In the end, I decided it would be wise to choose both options. Lockhart was like a wild, dangerous predator. You can certainly admire the tiger, you can marvel at his ability to blend into its surroundings. But you must also remember that it is perfectly capable of ripping you apart. It was the same with Lockhart. I could certainly admire his art of deception, but I was very concerned about his liberal use of memory charm.
"I think that's enough about my adventures in the Himalayas. I could talk about them for hours, but if you are interested, you can just read about them in my book 'Wandering with the yeti', available in most bookstores." Said Lockhart, looking at the classroom. "You probably can't wait to ask me some questions. So, who wants to go first?"
After Lockhart asked that, the classroom became filled with raised hands. The entire class was buzzing with excitement, as everyone wanted to ask the famous actor about something.
I was actually no different, raising my hand high into the air. After all, it was a great opportunity to learn how to avoid uncomfortable questions and fluidly change the subject. It was a skill that would be quite useful during my interaction with Ministry agents. I wouldn't of course trust Lockhart's words unconditionally, as he himself was most likely connected to the ministry in some way, but I was sure I would be at least able to learn something interesting.
Looking around the classroom, Lockhart pointed at the dark-haired Hufflepuff girl from the second row.
"Could you please state your name and ask your question?" Asked Lockhart, giving a girl a charming smile.
"Madeline Ormskirk, professor" She replied shyly, before asking her question "Is it true that you once protected a village from a werewolf?"
"Yes, that's true. During one of my many journeys to Germany I encountered a village, terrorized by a werewolf. Moved by their misery I fought against it valiantly, keeping it engaged until dawn came. The werewolf then changed into a beautiful woman, who…" Started Lockhart, though he stopped after noticing who he was talking to. He coughed into his hand and continued "Yes, I fought a werewolf in Germany. Okay, next question"
"Marcus Fawley, professor" said the Ravenclaw boy after Lockhart pointed at him. "Could you show us your favourite spell? I am sure it must be something amazing"
"While I would love to do that, I'm afraid I can't. Spells shouldn't be used frivolously, especially by the teacher. Remember, there is time and place for everything. You can however read all about my spellcraft in my book 'Lockhart's book of magnificent spells' available in most spells. Next!"
After that Lockhart responded to five other questions, as always masterfully avoiding actually responding to them. Eventually Lockhart's eyes landed on me. Finally.
"Maybe you? What's your name, boy?" Lockhart asked, looking straight at me. I was about to respond, ready to ask my question, when I was interrupted by Marcus Fawley, Ravenclaw student from before.
"Professor Lockhart, maybe…we should just continue our class?" He asked weakly, for some reason looking quite uneasy. Upon hearing his words, several students started nodding along, apparently agreeing with him. Weird. "We don't have to… put Michael on the spot like that"
"Nonsense, Mr Flawley" Replied Lockhart, making Marcus slump back in his chair, looking quite defeated. Why was he acting like that? Looking at me, Lockhart continued "So, what's your question?"
"My name is Michael Brown and I actually have a question about your acting skills, professor" I said, completely ignoring other students' glare. I raised my hand just like everyone else, so I had the right to ask my question.
"What do you mean, Mr Brown?" Lockhart asked. He was looking at me questioningly, like he didn't know what I was talking about, but it was most likely just another part of his performance. Even more awed, I continued.
"Your performance during the class really impressed me, professor. The way you carefully avoided answering any question asked, how you only gave us half-truths and non-answers, your beautifully crafted excuses, given to stop students from inquiring further. It was so, so amazing" I said, honestly impressed. Everyone was glaring at me now, while Lockhart went still, looking more and more red, looking like he was unable to breathe. I decided I shouldn't stall any further and just ask the question "How can I lie as convincingly as you, professor?"
The classroom fell silent. Students were all looking at either me or Lockhart, quietly waiting for his response. Lockhart himself was silent, looking at me with bulging eyes, red on his face. After a few seconds he slowly exhaled, ran his hand over his face, rubbing his eyes and responded by laughing, surprising everyone.
"Hahaha, quite the joker you are, young man. Just like Weasley twins I heard so much about" Lockhart laughed, though it sounded a little fake. After he stopped laughing, he continued, his voice a little more stern "Though I know it was just a harmless joke, I'm afraid I have to take ten points from Ravenclaw. We can't let a student openly prank a teacher after all" Lockhart then ostentatiously looked at the Clock located on the side of the classroom. Seeing it, he gasped dramatically. "Look at that, it appears we are out of time. While I would love to answer more questions, we will have to continue during our next class. See you next time"
After saying that, Lockhart quickly left the classroom, not even waiting for the student's response. It actually took me a few seconds to realize he didn't actually answer my question at all.
'Well played, Lockhart, well played. You win this round, but I will get my answer next time' I thought, ignoring the glare everyone else was giving me.
Fun fact about Lockhart. Per WoG, Dumbledore only hired him because he knew Lockhart was a fraud. Dumbledore wanted to expose him, so he made Lockhart teach at Hogwarts.
It means Dumbledore deliberately screwed over his students just to expose one guy. And he wasn't even successful in doing that.